Title: Untitled
Author: Orange
Contact: orangenish@hotmail.com
Archive: Ask, please
Disclaimer: Everwood was created by Greg Berlanti and Mickey Liddell and the WB. The episode "Deer God" was written by Michael Green. Quotes beginning with "Our home is," "It was," "I just want," and "I know," were written by Green, and are only used here to enhance the story.
Commentary: I admit that I'm a sap with television shows, and so this episode is a favorite of mine. Not only did it really enhance the intense yet fragile relationship Andy and Ephram have, but I really felt connected during the "crying scene." No, I did not cry during this episode. However, the intense acting and writing during the most emotional scene of the episode really touched me, and weeks later, I still could not get it out of my head. Hence, this fic. That said, I fast-forwarded through all the semi- blasphemous God-search scenes. Damn, I really hated those. Feedback, as always, is really appreciated, no matter what form it may be.
//**//
It wasn't the first time he had become emotional following his mother's death. One week after the accident, he'd locked himself in his bathroom, and thrown up. That evening, no one had noticed - or at least commented on - his paleness. But this was the first time he had tried to express how he felt to his father.
"Our home is in New York. Our home was with Mom."
It was the preterite tense that threw him over the edge. He had talked about his mother being dead before - to his friends back home, occasionally to Andy whenever he needed to make a point about his incompetence as a father, even to Amy and others that had never known her. But those conversations had somehow always been different. "With no mom" may have been modifiers to, "Hey, I'm the new kid," but he had never taken such stock in his words before. He now truly realized she was gone.
Andy had agreed with Ephram, which was somewhat surprising, and somewhat comforting. "It was." His father, too, spoke in the past-tense. "But she's gone now, and we can't go back. We left New York because there was nothing left for us anymore. Ephram, what you're hanging onto," he gestured to the dead, barren, burnt-out forest, "is this."
And suddenly, it was like that night again, when he had found out.
"I just want to go back," he whimpered, sucking in his sobs, trying not to blink and have a cascade of tears fall.
"I know."
The dam broke. He leaned into his father, his dad, choking on sobs. His dad knew how he felt. He understood. He missed her, too.
Ephram lay his head on Andy's shoulder, gasping for breath. Tears burned his eyes, and sobs choked him. His stomach churned, and he pressed his lips and teeth tightly together to fight the nausea. He clenched his hand, nails biting into palm, to try and calm himself. The world was spinning, and he needed to try and find his balance.
Andy gathered him closer, whispering, "I know, I know," against his head, then kissing his temple.
Ephram heaved a few more choking sobs, and Andy ran his hand over his son's back, trying to comfort the boy in any way possible.
Soon, Ephram stopped crying, but Andy pulled him tighter to him when he tried to pull away.
"Just stay awhile," Andy quietly mumbled, his own voice heavy with emotion. Ephram obliged, and lay his head back on his dad's shoulder, closing his eyes which had suddenly become heavy. A sigh of contentment passed through his lips.
Once Andy had composed himself, he pulled back to look at his son.
"Hey," he said, raising a hand to fix Ephram's mussed hair, "you okay?"
"Yeah," Ephram responded, a minute smile playing across his face, reaching a hand up to readjust his dad's hairstyling.
Andy handed Ephram his water bottle. Nodding in thanks, he gargled the taste of bile and thick phlegm out of his mouth, then, feeling unnaturally thirsty, drank the rest of the bottle.
"Do you want to hike up a bit farther?" Andy quietly asked, gesturing to the deer who was perusing the shrubbery patiently.
Ephram looked at the deer, then at his dad. "Yeah," he said almost shyly, "okay."
Father and son walked three more miles up the mountainside in silence. Finally, they found an unburned patch of reserve.
Ephram knelt by the deer, unclipping her leash, and speaking quietly to her.
Andy smiled as he looked on his son, then, after the deer cantered away, handed him his backpack for the long trek back.
//**//
Andy grimaced at the five blisters that adorned his feet.
Entering her father's bedroom, a nightgowned Delia mumbled around her toothbrush, "Whatcha doing, Dad?"
"Admiring my battle wounds," he responded, heaving his tired body off his bed. "Now c'mon, off with you." He swatted playfully at her, as she shrieked and ran off. "Finish brushing, and then I'll tuck you in and read to you."
Andy limped down the hallway to Delia's room, ready to pick out a short story about princesses or some other such stuff to read to her.
Going past Ephram's room, he was surprised to see his son in bed already. Knocking gently at the half ajar door, he invited himself in.
"You okay?" he asked his son quietly.
Ephram lay down the graphic novel he had been reading, and looked at Andy. "Yeah."
"Well, all right. Goodnight, then." He moved to flick off the lights, and let his exhausted son rest.
"Dad?" Ephram called.
"Yes, Ephram?"
"Thank you."
//**//
Author's Afterward: Amy has trouble with run-ons, according to Dr. Abbot, and I have trouble with commas. I know for a fact that this story is riddled with commas in the wrong places, and barren of commas where they are necessary. If anyone wants to do some informal beta-ing in their review, it would be great. I've also noticed that the story seems to shift from being almost Ephram-centric to being written around Andy. I've tried to work that out as best I could, though it's still present near the end. I'm sorry about that, and I hope it hasn't ruined the story for anyone. Again, feedback of any kind would be great.
Author: Orange
Contact: orangenish@hotmail.com
Archive: Ask, please
Disclaimer: Everwood was created by Greg Berlanti and Mickey Liddell and the WB. The episode "Deer God" was written by Michael Green. Quotes beginning with "Our home is," "It was," "I just want," and "I know," were written by Green, and are only used here to enhance the story.
Commentary: I admit that I'm a sap with television shows, and so this episode is a favorite of mine. Not only did it really enhance the intense yet fragile relationship Andy and Ephram have, but I really felt connected during the "crying scene." No, I did not cry during this episode. However, the intense acting and writing during the most emotional scene of the episode really touched me, and weeks later, I still could not get it out of my head. Hence, this fic. That said, I fast-forwarded through all the semi- blasphemous God-search scenes. Damn, I really hated those. Feedback, as always, is really appreciated, no matter what form it may be.
//**//
It wasn't the first time he had become emotional following his mother's death. One week after the accident, he'd locked himself in his bathroom, and thrown up. That evening, no one had noticed - or at least commented on - his paleness. But this was the first time he had tried to express how he felt to his father.
"Our home is in New York. Our home was with Mom."
It was the preterite tense that threw him over the edge. He had talked about his mother being dead before - to his friends back home, occasionally to Andy whenever he needed to make a point about his incompetence as a father, even to Amy and others that had never known her. But those conversations had somehow always been different. "With no mom" may have been modifiers to, "Hey, I'm the new kid," but he had never taken such stock in his words before. He now truly realized she was gone.
Andy had agreed with Ephram, which was somewhat surprising, and somewhat comforting. "It was." His father, too, spoke in the past-tense. "But she's gone now, and we can't go back. We left New York because there was nothing left for us anymore. Ephram, what you're hanging onto," he gestured to the dead, barren, burnt-out forest, "is this."
And suddenly, it was like that night again, when he had found out.
"I just want to go back," he whimpered, sucking in his sobs, trying not to blink and have a cascade of tears fall.
"I know."
The dam broke. He leaned into his father, his dad, choking on sobs. His dad knew how he felt. He understood. He missed her, too.
Ephram lay his head on Andy's shoulder, gasping for breath. Tears burned his eyes, and sobs choked him. His stomach churned, and he pressed his lips and teeth tightly together to fight the nausea. He clenched his hand, nails biting into palm, to try and calm himself. The world was spinning, and he needed to try and find his balance.
Andy gathered him closer, whispering, "I know, I know," against his head, then kissing his temple.
Ephram heaved a few more choking sobs, and Andy ran his hand over his son's back, trying to comfort the boy in any way possible.
Soon, Ephram stopped crying, but Andy pulled him tighter to him when he tried to pull away.
"Just stay awhile," Andy quietly mumbled, his own voice heavy with emotion. Ephram obliged, and lay his head back on his dad's shoulder, closing his eyes which had suddenly become heavy. A sigh of contentment passed through his lips.
Once Andy had composed himself, he pulled back to look at his son.
"Hey," he said, raising a hand to fix Ephram's mussed hair, "you okay?"
"Yeah," Ephram responded, a minute smile playing across his face, reaching a hand up to readjust his dad's hairstyling.
Andy handed Ephram his water bottle. Nodding in thanks, he gargled the taste of bile and thick phlegm out of his mouth, then, feeling unnaturally thirsty, drank the rest of the bottle.
"Do you want to hike up a bit farther?" Andy quietly asked, gesturing to the deer who was perusing the shrubbery patiently.
Ephram looked at the deer, then at his dad. "Yeah," he said almost shyly, "okay."
Father and son walked three more miles up the mountainside in silence. Finally, they found an unburned patch of reserve.
Ephram knelt by the deer, unclipping her leash, and speaking quietly to her.
Andy smiled as he looked on his son, then, after the deer cantered away, handed him his backpack for the long trek back.
//**//
Andy grimaced at the five blisters that adorned his feet.
Entering her father's bedroom, a nightgowned Delia mumbled around her toothbrush, "Whatcha doing, Dad?"
"Admiring my battle wounds," he responded, heaving his tired body off his bed. "Now c'mon, off with you." He swatted playfully at her, as she shrieked and ran off. "Finish brushing, and then I'll tuck you in and read to you."
Andy limped down the hallway to Delia's room, ready to pick out a short story about princesses or some other such stuff to read to her.
Going past Ephram's room, he was surprised to see his son in bed already. Knocking gently at the half ajar door, he invited himself in.
"You okay?" he asked his son quietly.
Ephram lay down the graphic novel he had been reading, and looked at Andy. "Yeah."
"Well, all right. Goodnight, then." He moved to flick off the lights, and let his exhausted son rest.
"Dad?" Ephram called.
"Yes, Ephram?"
"Thank you."
//**//
Author's Afterward: Amy has trouble with run-ons, according to Dr. Abbot, and I have trouble with commas. I know for a fact that this story is riddled with commas in the wrong places, and barren of commas where they are necessary. If anyone wants to do some informal beta-ing in their review, it would be great. I've also noticed that the story seems to shift from being almost Ephram-centric to being written around Andy. I've tried to work that out as best I could, though it's still present near the end. I'm sorry about that, and I hope it hasn't ruined the story for anyone. Again, feedback of any kind would be great.