Nowhere To Run
The Final Chapter
Jake glanced out the window and watched the same stretch of road speed by him. He'd driven this very road at least……well, it seemed to be at least a hundred times since Frank had been admitted to Brookside. At least four, if not five times a week, he'd visited his boss (his former boss, he corrected himself), just like he'd promised the doctor he would. And if he couldn't make it, another member of the team always managed to. Hell…..they'd even given up spending Christmas with their families in order to keep Frank company. He chuckled to himself thinking how things always seemed to change between Frank and himself over the years that the two had worked together.
At first, Jake had thought Frank was pompous, anal, and totally unbending. The two had butted heads continually in the beginning. Then, over time Jake had started to appreciate Frank's type of discipline. He had to admit that under his supervision, the team had started to run like a well-oiled machine. But sure enough, a case would come along and the two would differ about how best to approach it. The case involving Kate had been a prime example. Of course, no one had expected things to go down the way they did. And now, over the course of the past four months, he had become Frank's lifeline to the outside world. He shook his head thinking about the irony of it all.
"What's that all about?"
Jake glanced at the woman riding along with him. He'd wanted to go to pick up Frank by himself, but Monica had insisted on going with him stating that she wanted to have one last conversation with the doctors at the facility before Frank was released.
"It's nothing……..just thinking about how things have gone between Donovan and I in the past."
"Ahhhh………the love/hate relationship thing." Jake shot her a disapproving look, so she quickly explained what she meant. "You know……kind of like being family. You love your family but sometimes they can really get on your nerves. They can make you so mad that you think you could actually do the other harm, but in the end, you'd lay down your life for the other. That's what I meant."
Jake pondered what she'd said. He'd never had a family of his own, so he didn't have a very clear picture of how it should all be, but he was pretty sure that this team had become the closest thing he'd ever have to one. Nodding his head in understanding, Jake once again turned his attention to the passing roadway.
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. They exited the truck and made their way into the building. They approached the reception desk, and found one of the staff ready and waiting for them.
"Agent Shaw. Agent Davis. Please have a seat. The doctors are just finishing up the last of the paperwork and what-not with Agent Donovan. They should be finished any moment now and then they'll escort him out to meet you."
"Thank you," Monica said politely. "I was wondering though if it would be possible for me to have a word privately with one of the doctors before we leave."
"I'm sure that can be arranged. I'll mention it to them when they bring Agent Donovan out." Monica smiled at the girl in appreciation and then she and Jake settled into their chairs, not knowing exactly how long it would take.
Several minutes passed before Frank was escorted out to meet them, flanked by two doctors dressed in their signature Brooks Brothers suits. Monica and Jake rose to meet them.
At first there was an awkward silence, but suddenly Monica couldn't hold back any longer. She approached Frank and gave him a long hug, which he returned readily. He pulled back and graced her with one of those rare Donovan smiles. He didn't say a word to her, but then, words weren't really needed or even quite enough for this occasion. He glanced past Monica to look at Jake. The two men eyed each other not knowing exactly what to do next.
"Ah hell…….," Jake finally said as he walked up to Frank and gave him a big bear hug. Frank had to chuckle at the uncharacteristic show of emotion, from either one of them he noted to himself. The two pulled back from each other.
"What do you say to getting me the hell out of here?" Frank said with a smile in his voice. A big grin slowly appeared on Jake's face.
"You got it, but I think Monica wants to have a final word with the doctors here, before we go," Jake informed him.
Frank turned toward her. "What? You want to second guess the experts here? Or you don't trust me to be able to remember everything?" he asked her with the straightest face he could muster. Monica stared back at him slightly flustered. She looked back and forth between the doctors and Frank. Then just about the time that she was ready to refute his statement or at the very least apologize, she noticed the hint of mischievousness in Frank's eyes.
"You can be a real ass sometimes, Donovan," she said in mock annoyance. Frank threw his head back and laughed heartily as Monica stood there in shock. It had seemed to have been forever since she'd even seen the man smile, let alone break into peels of laughter. She glanced at Jake who just seemed to take it all in like it was an every day occurrence. Shaking her head, she approached the two doctors who had escorted Frank out, leaving the two men alone temporarily.
Frank slowly regained his composure. Jake just smiled at him. "Feel better," he asked Frank.
"Somewhat. I'll really start to feel better when we're a good twenty miles or so away from here."
"We'll be on the road in a few minutes and then you can start to put everything that happened in this place behind you."
"It can't be soon enough, Jake………..it can't be soon enough," he stated simply. He turned to eye Monica as she spoke to the doctors. "What did she want to talk to them about?"
Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me. But knowing Monica, I'd say she just wants to make sure there's nothing that we should be made aware of."
Frank looked at him perplexed. "Like what?"
"I don't know. Maybe things like residual nightmares……….any medications that they might still have you on……that sort of thing."
Frank nodded in understanding. "It hasn't been easy, has it?" he asked turning back to Jake.
"You have no idea." The two men just stared at each other in empathy.
Monica finished her conversation and then joined the two. "I don't know about you," she began, "but if I never see this place again, it'll be too soon. Let's go."
The three of them exited Brookside for the last time. When Frank was almost to Jake's truck, he turned to stare at the façade of the building.
"Frank? You OK?" Monica asked with concern.
Without taking his eyes off the place he said, "I just wanted to take one last look……you know…….kind of like finishing the last page of a book." He hesitated a few seconds longer and then joined Monica and Jake as they stood waiting for him. He slid into the front seat and never looked back.
A little over an hour later they pulled up in front of the Nest. Before they even got to within 10 feet of the building the door flew open and a very exuberant Alex and Cody shouted out their greetings. Frank smiled at their enthusiasm. He allowed Jake and Monica to enter first and then followed, knowing that once inside he'd be subjected to another barrage of hugs. It occurred to him that just over four months earlier, none of his team would have even considered doing so. Now it seemed the order of the day.
After the initial good wishes, he looked around the place almost like he'd never seen it before. Everything was exactly as he remembered it, but in some ways it also felt completely foreign. There was one change, however, from when the last time he set foot in the building. He stopped before the bank of windows that he had smashed with a chair in order to facilitate their escape. The glass, of course, had been replaced long ago.
The team watched Frank anxiously as he perused the area. When they saw him stop before the once broken windows, all present practically held their breath. Jake noticed that as Frank stood there, his right hand moved to unconsciously rub his left forearm. He had cut his arm on the broken shards, and it was the blood that had dripped from that wound that had led Jake and the others to where Frank and Kate had hidden.
Frank realized what he was doing and looked down at his left arm. 'Just one more scar,' he thought to himself forlornly. He turned to look at the group and noticed how tense they were. Knowing how they worried about him, he gave them a smile to let them know that he was alright. 'I'm not the only one who has scars to endure,' he thought remorsefully. There was so much he wanted to tell them, but he was at a loss as to where to start. As he opened his mouth to try, he heard the door open.
An unfamiliar person entered and stopped when he saw Frank. The two eyed each other warily. Frank, because he had no idea who this stranger was and the other, because he was unsure of how best to introduce himself. Finally Jake stepped forward to break the awkward silence.
"David…….this is Frank Donovan. Frank…….this is David Cooke. David's been assigned as the team's new leader." The two men shook hands cordially.
"Frank……….I've heard quite a bit about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you," David stated sincerely. Frank looked at the man suspiciously.
"I'm sure you have heard quite a bit," he said with a slight edge in his voice. David's eyes grew wide when he realized what Frank was probably referring to.
"What I should have said was that this group has done nothing but sing your praises since I got here. They obviously have quite a deal of respect for you, and from what I've heard myself, I'd say it's well founded. And actually………I have to admit to being a tad bit nervous about taking over this team." David paused to look at the other four agents in the room. "I'd say I have some rather large shoes to fill."
Frank observed the man closely. From what he could sense, he was telling the truth. He couldn't help himself, but he still felt overly protective of the four of them. They'd come a long way together, through thick and thin. Sensing that they would indeed be in good hands, Frank finally relaxed a bit.
"Yeah….well……….I'd say that I was the lucky one. One of my instructors once told me that 'you're only as good as the sum of the people that work for you' and in that respect, I'd say I was truly blessed." He too turned to face Jake, Alex, Monica and Cody. He searched each of their faces and for the first time, actually felt a twinge of regret about resigning. Still looking at them, Frank added, "and if I ever hear that they're not treated well, I'll personally come back and kick your ass." He then turned his head to look at David. At first the man started to smile thinking that Frank was kidding but the smile slowly slipped from his face when he realized that he was being serious.
David stared at Frank for perhaps a minute too long before finally saying, "Don't worry. I have every intention of treating them as fairly as they treat me." Frank studied the main seriously for several heartbeats before a smile slowly formed on his lips.
"Well……in that case, I'll get out of your way. You'll have to excuse me but I'm rather anxious to pick up the pieces of what's left of my life," Frank stated.
"Of course," David said in return. "I'm sure that one of the team would be more than willing to give you a lift to wherever you need to be." Frank held up his hand in protest.
"Thank you, but there's no need. I'll call a cab. I think I've taken up enough of this team's time. It's time for them to get back to work." Frank knew that in the four months since his hospitalization, the team hadn't been given any new cases. They'd spent that time following up on previous assignments and helping out other law enforcement groups.
"Are you sure?" Alex asked. "I'd be happy to drop you off somewhere, maybe even help you get settled again."
Frank smiled at her and the rest in appreciation. "It's OK, Alex. I can be left alone. I don't need someone to watch over me 24-7. I mean eventually I need to start pulling things back together and now's as good a time as any."
The four of them just stared back at him almost afraid to blink as if doing so would cause him to disappear out of their lives again. Frank began to feel a little uncomfortable under their prolonged scrutiny.
"OK…..that's enough. You're all acting like we're never going to see each other again. If it's alright with your boss here, maybe I'll drop by from time to time. We'll catch up…….it'll be fine."
"You're welcome here anytime, Frank," David interjected.
Frank turned to him. "Thank you. I appreciate that." Then turning back to the group he added, "See……he's not such a bad guy. He's not anything like what you thought I was when I first joined up." The four smiled sheepishly. He thought back over the rocky start that the five of them had had together. He thought they were all talented but unfocused and lacking discipline. They, on the other hand, thought he was unbending and dictatorial. But somehow they'd all managed to forge an unbreakable bond, at least he hoped that it would remain unbreakable. With one last look at each of their faces, Frank decided it was truly time to leave.
"Well…….I really do have to go. I made plane reservations for tomorrow night, and I have a lot to do before then."
"Plane reservations?" Monica asked concerned. "Where are you planning on going? Someplace warm and sunny?"
"Ahhh……actually I'm going to Montana," he revealed. If they didn't look concerned before, they sure did now.
"Montana………you sure that's a good idea?" Monica asked warily. They all knew that Frank had asked Jake to take Kate's ashes to his parents' place in Montana. Knowing that that was where he was most likely headed didn't sit well with any of them.
Frank sighed in understanding. He didn't know how best to clarify his intentions, but he figured that he owed them an explanation. "I know what you're thinking and in your place, I'd be thinking the same thing. But please try to understand……….I never got a chance to say goodbye. This is something that I need to do. I have to finally close this chapter of my life before I can truly move on. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you or not…….."
"It does," Jake replied. "I think it's a good idea actually. You should get a chance to finally put this all behind you." Frank smiled at him appreciatively. He sensed that the others may not quite share Jake's opinion, but he knew them well enough to know that none of them would make a move to stop him.
"So…….I'll talk to all of you in a few days or so," he said uneasily. "But first….if you don't mind David, I'd like to use the phone."
"Please Frank…..you don't even need to ask," David returned as he motioned for Frank to use the phone on a nearby desk. Frank nodded his thanks and moved off to complete his call.
Before the other three could chime in with their words of concern, Jake quickly hushed them up. "I know….I know. You're not happy about his decision. But it's his life and he's gotta live it as he sees fit. Let the man be."
"That's easier said than done Jake," Monica added emphatically. "He's just spent the last four months of his life holed up in a mental hospital, and now the first thing he wants to do is to visit the remains of the woman that he shot dead. Even you have to admit that this may not be the wisest course for him to take."
Jake saw her point, but he wasn't sure how he could adequately explain why he understood Frank's reasoning. "Monica……..I understand your apprehension. I really do. What I'm saying is that Frank's had a lot of time to think about this. It's not like he all of a sudden woke this morning and decided what he needed to do. He's been talking about this for weeks now. Maybe he didn't mention it to you because he knew what your reaction would be. But the bottom line is……..we have to let him go. It's his life……..let's let him live it."
Frank finished on the phone and turned to see the four agents with their heads together across the room. He glanced at David who stood patiently away from them taking in the situation as best as he could. He approached him while still keeping an eye on the obvious argument that seemed to be progressing.
"Sorry…….I know this is a big disruption for you. I'll say my final goodbye and then I'll be on my way." David eyed Frank knowingly.
"They care about you……..that's obvious. I was just standing here wondering if a day will ever come when they'll worry about me like they do over you."
"Give them time. When I first joined them, they all hated my guts." David stared back at him in disbelief. "I'm serious………ask them sometime. So you see……I'd say you already have a head start." David shook his head and chuckled slightly. Frank moved away from the man and headed for the cluster in the corner.
"OK………break it up. Enough second guessing my motives. I'm going to Montana whether you like it or not," he stated with mock indignation. But soon his stern expression gave way to something gentler. "All I can say is that I really need to do this. So if you care about me at all, you'll just accept that it's going to happen." The four glanced from one to the other and finally Frank could see their expressions change. They didn't like it, but they'd accept his decision.
"Good……..now that that's over, I really do need to go. My taxi will be here any minute. Like I said I'll call in a few days. But please………don't worry. I'll be alright."
"We're accepting your decision to do this, but please don't ask us not to worry," Alex said on behalf of the others. Frank smiled in understanding, knowing that some things would never change.
He turned then and started for the door. He stopped as he reached the exit and looked back once more at the four people who had become closer to him than family. He smiled at them yet again and then left.
/////////////////////////////////////////
2 months later
Jake drove through the banks of trees that flanked the almost deserted country road. He'd left what he would consider to be civilization about an hour ago. The further he got away from the city, the rougher the road became. He'd driven this same road once before and he was amazed yet again at how breathtaking the scenery was. The last time he'd been here, it had been the fall. The leaves had shone in brilliant reds, yellows and oranges then. And now, six months later, he was struck by how vividly green all the foliage was. And as if on cue there was a break in the tree line and he could see the Rocky Mountains in the background. He almost slammed on the brakes wanting to take time to drink it all in, but he knew that he was expected soon. So instead, he headed on to his destination.
After a series of more twists and turns, he finally pulled onto a simple gravel road that led even further into the wilderness. A little while down the drive there was a small clearing off to the left and he almost went by it without a second glance but something out of the ordinary caught his eye. A Land Rover was parked near a small lake. Instead of continuing on, Jake pulled up next to the other vehicle and turned off the engine. At first he didn't see the SUV's owner, but then he spotted a solitary figure standing at the water's edge some thirty feet away. He slowly walked in that direction and waited until he was within 5 feet before he spoke.
"Hey Frank. What're you doing out here? I thought we were supposed to meet up at the cabin?" Frank turned to greet the younger man.
"We were. I was just checking one of the security cameras. There are times when I miss having Cody nearby to work his mechanical wizardry."
"What's the problem?" Jake asked, looking around trying to spot the trouble.
"One of the cameras wasn't transmitting. I think I fixed it though." Jake again looked into the tree canopy, trying to spot the offending device. After several minutes he gave up.
"OK……I give up. Where is it?" he finally asked. Frank smiled triumphantly and pointed to a knot hole in a nearby tree trunk. Jake moved over to it and couldn't spot it until he was at least two feet away.
"Well I'll be damned," he barely stated above a whisper. "I would've never seen that. Are they all that well hidden?" Jake knew that Frank had installed cameras around the entire perimeter of the rather large property. Maybe it was overkill, but Frank refused to take any further chances.
"Yep……it took Tom and I a week or more to place them all, and then another week to fine tune the system. No one can make a move on this property without me knowing about it."
"Impressive," Jake said in awe. "So are you finished here, or do you need a hand?"
"All done. Let's head on up to the house." The two then returned to their respective vehicles and made their way up the remainder of the gravel road. As they pulled up to the large cabin that graced the property, Jake was once again struck by how utterly beautiful this place was. The land was awe-inspiring and, of course, the house looked like something out of Architectural Digest. It was a large A-framed structure with unusually large windows that were tinted so that no prying eyes could see inside, and quite a bit of the house was timber framed with stone accents.
Frank noticed that Jake had stopped, so he joined him as he continued his perusal. "Something wrong?" Frank asked, noticing Jake's intense stare.
"No…….I'm just trying to figure out how you never decided to settle down here before. I mean…..this place is incredible, Frank. The trees……the mountains…..the clean air…….this house. Good God, this house is…..is…..well it's…..wow…" Frank chuckled at Jake's inability to articulate.
"Well thank you, but honestly my parents' deserve all the credit for this place. They picked out the land, they had it built. And as for not moving here before…..let's just say that I had other priorities before." Jake nodded knowingly.
The two stood there for a minute longer and then Frank finally broke the silence. "So how is everyone?" he asked anxiously.
Jake sighed sadly and then replied. "They're pissed."
"Still?"
Jake turned to look at his former boss. "Come on Frank…..how would you feel in their place?"
"Yeah…..I guess you're right. I just figured that they'd start to get over it by now, that's all."
"They are…..I think they just need more time. It's been a lot to handle."
"I'm really sorry that you had to get caught in the middle of all of this. I mean….." Jake motioned for Frank to stop.
"Don't……I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, when I volunteered for this. And I did volunteer, Frank. Don't forget that." Frank shook his head unconvinced.
"Sometimes I wonder if things could have been handled differently. Maybe you wouldn't have had to lie so much." Jake looked at Frank and could see the guilt that he still carried around, rearing it's ugly head.
"Frank……I'm glad I could help. I'd do it again without thinking twice. And as for the lies…..well, we both know that that was for everyone's own good. If something had gone horribly wrong, they could've all answered truthfully that they had no idea what was really happening."
"Maybe…….."
"Maybe nothing," Jake said trying to end this particular conversation. "How about you offer me a beer and we'll all sit down and catch up? Where is Kate anyway?" As if on cue, the front door opened at that exact second.
"Did I hear my name?" she asked cheerfully bounding down the front steps.
"You certainly did. I was trying to get Frank here to lighten up a bit and stop feeling so guilty about everything." Kate walked over to Frank and put her arm possessively around his waist and gazed up into his soft brown eyes.
"He does love to feel guilty, doesn't he?" she stated playfully. "I think it's his worst fault. That and the fact that he can't play golf to save his life."
Frank couldn't help but smile at her mischievousness. Any time that she was near him, his mood would lighten noticeably. Perhaps it was as a result of having been separated from her for so long. That had been the worse part of this whole charade, he thought to himself. The four months that they'd spent apart when he was at Brookside had been agonizing. A situation, he promised himself, that would never happen again.
"Ok you two. This is not bash Frank day. And….. I believe I owe Jake a beer." Then taking Kate's hand he led the way into the house. They walked into a large, very airy great room. The ceiling was open up to the roof's rafters. The furniture was large and comfortable and the main attraction to the room was a huge fire place.
"Have a seat and I'll get our drinks," Frank ordered. He moved off to the kitchen leaving Kate and Jake alone.
"So how is he really?" Jake asked quietly.
"He's good……we're good. I just think he still feels guilty about what he put everyone else through, including you." Jake sighed knowing that some things would never change. "I know Frank's talked to you several times since you told everyone our big secret, but he was kind of vague on the details when I asked him what happened. So…..?"
"Well, what can I say. They were mad…..livid actually. They felt used. They thought we didn't trust them, and I can't say I blame them for any of it. We had them jumping through hoops and now they feel betrayed."
"I'm sorry, Jake. I really am. When Frank first told me about this elaborate plan that he and Tom had come up with, I knew that you and the rest of the team were the ones who were really going to pay for this."
Having been so entranced in their conversation, neither heard Frank's return. "What have you two got your heads together about?"
Kate considered coming up with an excuse, but decided that she was through with lying. "I'm trying to get Jake to spill the beans about how everything really went down back in Chicago."
"Kate….." Frank began exasperated.
"Donovan…..don't Kate me! I want to know exactly what went on. So shush!" she demanded. Frank's eyebrow rose at her tone of voice, but instead of being annoyed, he was amused.
Jake chuckled watching the two together. No one else he knew could get away with telling Frank Donovan to shut up. And what was even more amazing was that he actually did keep quiet.
Kate turned her attention back to Jake. "You were saying, before we were so rudely interrupted," she added giving Frank a quick wink out of the corner of her eye.
Still smiling at the two, Jake continued. "I've given them all the arguments for why we had to keep all of this to ourselves, but they still feel like we just didn't trust them enough to know the truth." He leaned forward in his seat resting his arms on his legs and intently staring at his hands. "Monica and Cody have started to come around. Their not happy about it, but on some psychological level they understand that we were only trying to protect them. It's Alex that I'm worried about though. I've started to doubt whether she'll ever fully forgive me."
"She will Jake. You just have to give her some more time," Kate said reassuringly. "The two of you are partners. You're two halves of the same whole. She'll get there, don't worry." Jake looked up at her understanding eyes and smiled.
"If that's what it takes, I've got all the time in the world. I just wished that we didn't have to keep them in the dark about Frank's stay at Brookside. I think that hurts more than anything else."
"I know," Frank began, "I felt the same way. All of them would come to visit and I'd see the fear and concern in their eyes and it tore me up. It took everything I had not to respond to them. But it had to be that way. If I'd been free and roaming around before the rest of the men responsible for this mess had been brought into custody, it was almost a certain bet that I'd have been targeted again. They couldn't get Tom to kill me, so they certainly would have found someone else, and that would have put the rest of you in danger as well." Jake nodded his head in agreement.
"I mean let's face it," Frank continued on, "this whole operation was a house of cards. If one part hadn't gone as planned, the entire scheme would have collapsed. Everyone had to believe that you were really going to turn me in, including Lindford and his cronies. The crucial part was getting Tom's involvement. He put himself in a position to be the one that they'd turn to either target Kate or myself or both. He taped the conversation with Lindford, he arranged for the fake ambulance to pick up Kate's dead body….."
"That was a nice piece of acting by the way," Jake interjected. "I mean I really thought you were coming unhinged the way you're hands were shaking and your eyes were darting around. And then when Frank shot you……Jesus, for a moment I thought something had gone wrong. The blood looked so real and the way your eyes just froze and you sank to the floor…….amazing. You would've made one hell of a UC. I was convinced that's for sure."
"Oh, thank you very much," Kate said embarrassed. "Let's just say that I had motivation enough to make sure that it looked real. And let's just thank God that it was rather dark in that basement, or the blood wouldn't have been so convincing. It was just those blood capsules that you can get at any magic shop. And for the record, the stuff tastes like shit." Frank and Jake both chuckled at that. "And just to top it all off, the stuff that we used to make it look like I was bleeding out, stains. I was laying there on that cold floor for so long that the crap had enough time to thoroughly coat just about every inch of the front of my body. Afterwards I looked like I'd been out sunbathing for too long and got just the front of me burnt. I swear I didn't think it was ever going to come off. I'm sure I lost a good two or three layers of skin trying to scrub it off."
"Well, all I can say is that I was thoroughly convinced," Jake revealed. "I seriously had nightmares for the first couple of weeks after it all went down, reliving what happened in that factory. I mean I knew you weren't really dead and it still wouldn't go away. Hell, I'm the one that brought you up here, and I still had visions of what happened."
"That's what makes you good at your job," Frank told him. "When you're UC, you're totally immersed in the character and the storyline. You had to still maintain that façade of belief around everyone else, so that's why it lingered as long as it did."
"Speaking of being good at your job…..that was one hell of a job convincing everyone that you were really out of it," Jake said to Frank. "That first night when they admitted you, I was convinced that you weren't acting. The way you kept that up for so long was pretty impressive."
"I told him he could have a second career as an undercover agent," Kate stated leaning over to Frank and entwining her arm with his.
"I thought you said I had a promising career as a car thief?" he asked her playfully.
"No…..actually I said that you had a promising career as an auto thief slash criminal behavior analyst. So I guess we just add undercover agent to that list."
"Well……I for one am glad that the whole thing's over. I hate lying to people that I care about," Frank informed them.
"Amen to that," Jake added.
"OK then……I'm going to go and get dinner ready. Jake…..I made up a room for you to stay in. It's the one to the right of the fireplace. Why don't you go get your stuff and get settled."
"Yes ma'am," Jake answered politely. Kate smiled in response and then she moved off to the kitchen. After she left the room, Frank turned to Jake.
"Need a hand with your things?"
"Sure. Why not?" Jake answered. The two left the house and returned to Jake's rented vehicle.
"So what's the real story with you and Alex?" Frank asked out of the blue.
Startled, Jake responded, "Excuse me?"
"I said, what's really going on between you and Alex?" Jake stared at Frank not sure how to respond, so Frank continued. "Jake…..I thought for sure that you told her what was really going on a long time ago. One day she came into work and she couldn't look me in the eye. I just figured it was because you'd told her the whole story and she was either…..one….. mad at me for not including her, or…..two……she thought it would get you in trouble if I found out that she knew. So if it's not either one of those things, then what happened?"
Jake stopped fumbling with his luggage and then turned to stare at Frank. "I screwed up……big time. I…..Jesus I can't believe I did this…..I called her one night. A couple of days before it all went down. I felt isolated. I couldn't really talk to you, and I sure as hell couldn't talk to anyone else on the team. I just needed to connect to someone, so naturally I called Alex. I think maybe I intended to tell her everything, but once she met me at this bar, I couldn't bring myself to put her in that kind of danger." Jake stopped and shuffled his feet for a few moments. "Anyway…..we had a couple of drinks. We talked, but she could tell that I really wasn't telling her what was on my mind. She kept pushing. I tried to distract her by bringing up other things but she kept coming back to it, soooo…….I tried something else to distract her……..I kissed her." Jake glanced at Frank and was surprised to see that he wasn't surprised, or at least he didn't look surprised.
"And….?" Frank prompted.
"And……at first she seemed really shocked and then…….well, let's just say that she returned the favor… in spades. Somehow we ended up back at my place and well……you can guess the rest." Jake looked down at his shoes afraid to look Frank in the eye.
"So…..what do you plan on doing about it?" Frank asked calmly.
"Do about it?" Jake asked confused.
"I mean, do you plan on running away from the situation, or do you plan on trying to make it right?"
"I'm not running," Jake tried to refute.
"Oh really….." Frank said sarcastically. "Is that why you're here and not back in Chicago trying to work it out with Alex and the rest of the team?" Jake tried to respond, but Frank stopped him.
"You have to figure out what you really want in life, Jake. If what happened between you and Alex was a mistake, then the two of you need to sit down and work out how to mend your friendship, but if this is a relationship you want to pursue then you damn well better get back there and stop running away." He paused to look at the younger man. "Jake…..I've spent the better part of my adult life running away from serious relationships. When I look back on all of the wasted years I spent alone….."
"Yeah, but just think…..if you'd found someone before, then you wouldn't have Kate in your life now, would you?" Frank had to smile at Jake's brand of logic.
"You may have a point, Agent Shaw," Frank said with a smile.
"I have my moments. But I'll think about what you said. But honestly, I'm not sure what I want. I just knew that being in Chicago right now was suffocating me."
Changing the subject, Frank said, "Let's go see what Kate's making for dinner."
So the two climbed the steps once more and moved inside. About an hour later, the three sat down to a sumptuous feast. The talk was lively, a couple bottles of wine were consumed, and all in all the evening was passed in pleasant company. Then around 11:00 or so, Jake excused himself stating that the day had been long and that he was exhausted. Frank and Kate bid him goodnight as he entered the room that Kate had prepared for him.
A little while later, the couple made their way to the master bedroom on the second floor. After changing into her nightgown, Kate sat on the edge of bed combing her hair, lost in thought over the day's events. Frank approached her, took the brush out of her hand, put it on the bedside table and then knelt down in front of her.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked as he rubbed his hands up and down her thighs.
She smiled warmly, and then answered. "I'm worried about him."
Frank shook his head. "He'll be alright. He just needs time to heal, just like the rest of us."
"Maybe, but then he doesn't have anyone to help him get over it."
Frank smiled knowingly, "Maybe…..maybe not." Kate's interest was piqued. She studied his face looking for the clues that she knew were hidden there. After a few seconds of perusal, her eyes flew open.
"Alex?" she asked in astonishment. Frank was taken back by her leap of logic.
"What made you say that?" He asked curiously.
"It was the way he talked about her earlier. Gosh……I guess it all makes sense. Wow………you think it'll work out? You know…the two of them?"
"Hmmm…….I don't know. They're both stubborn as hell, but then they're fiercely loyal to each other……..maybe."
Leaning forward, Kate gave Frank a light kiss. "You know what I want?" He smiled at her devilishly.
"Is that a question or a statement."
"Either……but the answer is……I don't want to talk about Jake Shaw anymore."
"You don't?" Frank responded as he slowly stood and then pushed Kate further onto the bed.
"Nope…..I don't want to talk about him….the team…..anything whatsoever to do with anything that ever happened in either one of our lives…..," she responded as she reached up and placed her hands on either side of his face as he lowered himself slowly so that he was laying on top of her. He kissed her gently, taking the time to thoroughly investigate her lips.
"Hmmm……then I wonder what you could possibly want," he said as he nuzzled her neck.
"Here let me show you," she said as she brought his mouth to hers, joining in a heated kiss.
A few hours later the two lay together, physically exhausted but happy and content. Neither was asleep, but simply enjoying the closeness that they both felt after a night of intense love-making.
"What are you thinking about?" Frank asked quietly as he lay on his back, his arms wrapped around the woman that he loved more than life itself.
"I was wondering if it's possible that I really did die in that basement."
Frank pulled back slightly so that he could see her face as she lay against his chest. "What made you say that?" he asked confused.
"Not too long ago, my idea of heaven was living in a beautiful house in the middle of a myriad of trees with the mountains in the distance. I wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning and see your face. And more importantly, my idea of heaven was falling asleep in your arms every night after we made love." She raised herself on one elbow so that she could see him more clearly. "I have all that…..I never thought I would. I never let myself even realistically hope for it. And now…..well it all just seems too good to be true. That's why I was wondering if I really am dead, and this really is heaven."
He watched her eyes in the moonlight and could see that she was being serious. He brought his hand to her face and gently traced his fingers across her cheek.
"Would it matter if it wasn't real?" he asked.
She studied him for a moment longer before answering. "As long as the two of us are together, I don't really care. I just don't want to wake up tomorrow and find out that it was all a dream."
"It's no dream, I can assure you of that. Now…….let's get some sleep. The morning will come all too early." Kate settled back against him, and sighed happily.
"I love you," she muttered quietly as she drifted off to sleep.
"And I love you too," he whispered in return, knowing that she was already asleep. Frank laid there for at least another hour before he too succumbed. He liked to lay quietly late at night and ponder the incredible turn his life had taken. Not so long ago, he could have never imagined being so delightfully happy. The thought made him smile and subconsciously he tightened his hold around Kate. And with his last thought being of her, he slipped into blissful, restful sleep.
THE END
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My final thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed my story!! As I stated 22 chapters ago, this was my first attempt at writing fan fiction, and the experience has turned into something so much more than I had ever expected it to be!
So one last time………THANK YOU…..THANK YOU…….THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The Final Chapter
Jake glanced out the window and watched the same stretch of road speed by him. He'd driven this very road at least……well, it seemed to be at least a hundred times since Frank had been admitted to Brookside. At least four, if not five times a week, he'd visited his boss (his former boss, he corrected himself), just like he'd promised the doctor he would. And if he couldn't make it, another member of the team always managed to. Hell…..they'd even given up spending Christmas with their families in order to keep Frank company. He chuckled to himself thinking how things always seemed to change between Frank and himself over the years that the two had worked together.
At first, Jake had thought Frank was pompous, anal, and totally unbending. The two had butted heads continually in the beginning. Then, over time Jake had started to appreciate Frank's type of discipline. He had to admit that under his supervision, the team had started to run like a well-oiled machine. But sure enough, a case would come along and the two would differ about how best to approach it. The case involving Kate had been a prime example. Of course, no one had expected things to go down the way they did. And now, over the course of the past four months, he had become Frank's lifeline to the outside world. He shook his head thinking about the irony of it all.
"What's that all about?"
Jake glanced at the woman riding along with him. He'd wanted to go to pick up Frank by himself, but Monica had insisted on going with him stating that she wanted to have one last conversation with the doctors at the facility before Frank was released.
"It's nothing……..just thinking about how things have gone between Donovan and I in the past."
"Ahhhh………the love/hate relationship thing." Jake shot her a disapproving look, so she quickly explained what she meant. "You know……kind of like being family. You love your family but sometimes they can really get on your nerves. They can make you so mad that you think you could actually do the other harm, but in the end, you'd lay down your life for the other. That's what I meant."
Jake pondered what she'd said. He'd never had a family of his own, so he didn't have a very clear picture of how it should all be, but he was pretty sure that this team had become the closest thing he'd ever have to one. Nodding his head in understanding, Jake once again turned his attention to the passing roadway.
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. They exited the truck and made their way into the building. They approached the reception desk, and found one of the staff ready and waiting for them.
"Agent Shaw. Agent Davis. Please have a seat. The doctors are just finishing up the last of the paperwork and what-not with Agent Donovan. They should be finished any moment now and then they'll escort him out to meet you."
"Thank you," Monica said politely. "I was wondering though if it would be possible for me to have a word privately with one of the doctors before we leave."
"I'm sure that can be arranged. I'll mention it to them when they bring Agent Donovan out." Monica smiled at the girl in appreciation and then she and Jake settled into their chairs, not knowing exactly how long it would take.
Several minutes passed before Frank was escorted out to meet them, flanked by two doctors dressed in their signature Brooks Brothers suits. Monica and Jake rose to meet them.
At first there was an awkward silence, but suddenly Monica couldn't hold back any longer. She approached Frank and gave him a long hug, which he returned readily. He pulled back and graced her with one of those rare Donovan smiles. He didn't say a word to her, but then, words weren't really needed or even quite enough for this occasion. He glanced past Monica to look at Jake. The two men eyed each other not knowing exactly what to do next.
"Ah hell…….," Jake finally said as he walked up to Frank and gave him a big bear hug. Frank had to chuckle at the uncharacteristic show of emotion, from either one of them he noted to himself. The two pulled back from each other.
"What do you say to getting me the hell out of here?" Frank said with a smile in his voice. A big grin slowly appeared on Jake's face.
"You got it, but I think Monica wants to have a final word with the doctors here, before we go," Jake informed him.
Frank turned toward her. "What? You want to second guess the experts here? Or you don't trust me to be able to remember everything?" he asked her with the straightest face he could muster. Monica stared back at him slightly flustered. She looked back and forth between the doctors and Frank. Then just about the time that she was ready to refute his statement or at the very least apologize, she noticed the hint of mischievousness in Frank's eyes.
"You can be a real ass sometimes, Donovan," she said in mock annoyance. Frank threw his head back and laughed heartily as Monica stood there in shock. It had seemed to have been forever since she'd even seen the man smile, let alone break into peels of laughter. She glanced at Jake who just seemed to take it all in like it was an every day occurrence. Shaking her head, she approached the two doctors who had escorted Frank out, leaving the two men alone temporarily.
Frank slowly regained his composure. Jake just smiled at him. "Feel better," he asked Frank.
"Somewhat. I'll really start to feel better when we're a good twenty miles or so away from here."
"We'll be on the road in a few minutes and then you can start to put everything that happened in this place behind you."
"It can't be soon enough, Jake………..it can't be soon enough," he stated simply. He turned to eye Monica as she spoke to the doctors. "What did she want to talk to them about?"
Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me. But knowing Monica, I'd say she just wants to make sure there's nothing that we should be made aware of."
Frank looked at him perplexed. "Like what?"
"I don't know. Maybe things like residual nightmares……….any medications that they might still have you on……that sort of thing."
Frank nodded in understanding. "It hasn't been easy, has it?" he asked turning back to Jake.
"You have no idea." The two men just stared at each other in empathy.
Monica finished her conversation and then joined the two. "I don't know about you," she began, "but if I never see this place again, it'll be too soon. Let's go."
The three of them exited Brookside for the last time. When Frank was almost to Jake's truck, he turned to stare at the façade of the building.
"Frank? You OK?" Monica asked with concern.
Without taking his eyes off the place he said, "I just wanted to take one last look……you know…….kind of like finishing the last page of a book." He hesitated a few seconds longer and then joined Monica and Jake as they stood waiting for him. He slid into the front seat and never looked back.
A little over an hour later they pulled up in front of the Nest. Before they even got to within 10 feet of the building the door flew open and a very exuberant Alex and Cody shouted out their greetings. Frank smiled at their enthusiasm. He allowed Jake and Monica to enter first and then followed, knowing that once inside he'd be subjected to another barrage of hugs. It occurred to him that just over four months earlier, none of his team would have even considered doing so. Now it seemed the order of the day.
After the initial good wishes, he looked around the place almost like he'd never seen it before. Everything was exactly as he remembered it, but in some ways it also felt completely foreign. There was one change, however, from when the last time he set foot in the building. He stopped before the bank of windows that he had smashed with a chair in order to facilitate their escape. The glass, of course, had been replaced long ago.
The team watched Frank anxiously as he perused the area. When they saw him stop before the once broken windows, all present practically held their breath. Jake noticed that as Frank stood there, his right hand moved to unconsciously rub his left forearm. He had cut his arm on the broken shards, and it was the blood that had dripped from that wound that had led Jake and the others to where Frank and Kate had hidden.
Frank realized what he was doing and looked down at his left arm. 'Just one more scar,' he thought to himself forlornly. He turned to look at the group and noticed how tense they were. Knowing how they worried about him, he gave them a smile to let them know that he was alright. 'I'm not the only one who has scars to endure,' he thought remorsefully. There was so much he wanted to tell them, but he was at a loss as to where to start. As he opened his mouth to try, he heard the door open.
An unfamiliar person entered and stopped when he saw Frank. The two eyed each other warily. Frank, because he had no idea who this stranger was and the other, because he was unsure of how best to introduce himself. Finally Jake stepped forward to break the awkward silence.
"David…….this is Frank Donovan. Frank…….this is David Cooke. David's been assigned as the team's new leader." The two men shook hands cordially.
"Frank……….I've heard quite a bit about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you," David stated sincerely. Frank looked at the man suspiciously.
"I'm sure you have heard quite a bit," he said with a slight edge in his voice. David's eyes grew wide when he realized what Frank was probably referring to.
"What I should have said was that this group has done nothing but sing your praises since I got here. They obviously have quite a deal of respect for you, and from what I've heard myself, I'd say it's well founded. And actually………I have to admit to being a tad bit nervous about taking over this team." David paused to look at the other four agents in the room. "I'd say I have some rather large shoes to fill."
Frank observed the man closely. From what he could sense, he was telling the truth. He couldn't help himself, but he still felt overly protective of the four of them. They'd come a long way together, through thick and thin. Sensing that they would indeed be in good hands, Frank finally relaxed a bit.
"Yeah….well……….I'd say that I was the lucky one. One of my instructors once told me that 'you're only as good as the sum of the people that work for you' and in that respect, I'd say I was truly blessed." He too turned to face Jake, Alex, Monica and Cody. He searched each of their faces and for the first time, actually felt a twinge of regret about resigning. Still looking at them, Frank added, "and if I ever hear that they're not treated well, I'll personally come back and kick your ass." He then turned his head to look at David. At first the man started to smile thinking that Frank was kidding but the smile slowly slipped from his face when he realized that he was being serious.
David stared at Frank for perhaps a minute too long before finally saying, "Don't worry. I have every intention of treating them as fairly as they treat me." Frank studied the main seriously for several heartbeats before a smile slowly formed on his lips.
"Well……in that case, I'll get out of your way. You'll have to excuse me but I'm rather anxious to pick up the pieces of what's left of my life," Frank stated.
"Of course," David said in return. "I'm sure that one of the team would be more than willing to give you a lift to wherever you need to be." Frank held up his hand in protest.
"Thank you, but there's no need. I'll call a cab. I think I've taken up enough of this team's time. It's time for them to get back to work." Frank knew that in the four months since his hospitalization, the team hadn't been given any new cases. They'd spent that time following up on previous assignments and helping out other law enforcement groups.
"Are you sure?" Alex asked. "I'd be happy to drop you off somewhere, maybe even help you get settled again."
Frank smiled at her and the rest in appreciation. "It's OK, Alex. I can be left alone. I don't need someone to watch over me 24-7. I mean eventually I need to start pulling things back together and now's as good a time as any."
The four of them just stared back at him almost afraid to blink as if doing so would cause him to disappear out of their lives again. Frank began to feel a little uncomfortable under their prolonged scrutiny.
"OK…..that's enough. You're all acting like we're never going to see each other again. If it's alright with your boss here, maybe I'll drop by from time to time. We'll catch up…….it'll be fine."
"You're welcome here anytime, Frank," David interjected.
Frank turned to him. "Thank you. I appreciate that." Then turning back to the group he added, "See……he's not such a bad guy. He's not anything like what you thought I was when I first joined up." The four smiled sheepishly. He thought back over the rocky start that the five of them had had together. He thought they were all talented but unfocused and lacking discipline. They, on the other hand, thought he was unbending and dictatorial. But somehow they'd all managed to forge an unbreakable bond, at least he hoped that it would remain unbreakable. With one last look at each of their faces, Frank decided it was truly time to leave.
"Well…….I really do have to go. I made plane reservations for tomorrow night, and I have a lot to do before then."
"Plane reservations?" Monica asked concerned. "Where are you planning on going? Someplace warm and sunny?"
"Ahhh……actually I'm going to Montana," he revealed. If they didn't look concerned before, they sure did now.
"Montana………you sure that's a good idea?" Monica asked warily. They all knew that Frank had asked Jake to take Kate's ashes to his parents' place in Montana. Knowing that that was where he was most likely headed didn't sit well with any of them.
Frank sighed in understanding. He didn't know how best to clarify his intentions, but he figured that he owed them an explanation. "I know what you're thinking and in your place, I'd be thinking the same thing. But please try to understand……….I never got a chance to say goodbye. This is something that I need to do. I have to finally close this chapter of my life before I can truly move on. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you or not…….."
"It does," Jake replied. "I think it's a good idea actually. You should get a chance to finally put this all behind you." Frank smiled at him appreciatively. He sensed that the others may not quite share Jake's opinion, but he knew them well enough to know that none of them would make a move to stop him.
"So…….I'll talk to all of you in a few days or so," he said uneasily. "But first….if you don't mind David, I'd like to use the phone."
"Please Frank…..you don't even need to ask," David returned as he motioned for Frank to use the phone on a nearby desk. Frank nodded his thanks and moved off to complete his call.
Before the other three could chime in with their words of concern, Jake quickly hushed them up. "I know….I know. You're not happy about his decision. But it's his life and he's gotta live it as he sees fit. Let the man be."
"That's easier said than done Jake," Monica added emphatically. "He's just spent the last four months of his life holed up in a mental hospital, and now the first thing he wants to do is to visit the remains of the woman that he shot dead. Even you have to admit that this may not be the wisest course for him to take."
Jake saw her point, but he wasn't sure how he could adequately explain why he understood Frank's reasoning. "Monica……..I understand your apprehension. I really do. What I'm saying is that Frank's had a lot of time to think about this. It's not like he all of a sudden woke this morning and decided what he needed to do. He's been talking about this for weeks now. Maybe he didn't mention it to you because he knew what your reaction would be. But the bottom line is……..we have to let him go. It's his life……..let's let him live it."
Frank finished on the phone and turned to see the four agents with their heads together across the room. He glanced at David who stood patiently away from them taking in the situation as best as he could. He approached him while still keeping an eye on the obvious argument that seemed to be progressing.
"Sorry…….I know this is a big disruption for you. I'll say my final goodbye and then I'll be on my way." David eyed Frank knowingly.
"They care about you……..that's obvious. I was just standing here wondering if a day will ever come when they'll worry about me like they do over you."
"Give them time. When I first joined them, they all hated my guts." David stared back at him in disbelief. "I'm serious………ask them sometime. So you see……I'd say you already have a head start." David shook his head and chuckled slightly. Frank moved away from the man and headed for the cluster in the corner.
"OK………break it up. Enough second guessing my motives. I'm going to Montana whether you like it or not," he stated with mock indignation. But soon his stern expression gave way to something gentler. "All I can say is that I really need to do this. So if you care about me at all, you'll just accept that it's going to happen." The four glanced from one to the other and finally Frank could see their expressions change. They didn't like it, but they'd accept his decision.
"Good……..now that that's over, I really do need to go. My taxi will be here any minute. Like I said I'll call in a few days. But please………don't worry. I'll be alright."
"We're accepting your decision to do this, but please don't ask us not to worry," Alex said on behalf of the others. Frank smiled in understanding, knowing that some things would never change.
He turned then and started for the door. He stopped as he reached the exit and looked back once more at the four people who had become closer to him than family. He smiled at them yet again and then left.
/////////////////////////////////////////
2 months later
Jake drove through the banks of trees that flanked the almost deserted country road. He'd left what he would consider to be civilization about an hour ago. The further he got away from the city, the rougher the road became. He'd driven this same road once before and he was amazed yet again at how breathtaking the scenery was. The last time he'd been here, it had been the fall. The leaves had shone in brilliant reds, yellows and oranges then. And now, six months later, he was struck by how vividly green all the foliage was. And as if on cue there was a break in the tree line and he could see the Rocky Mountains in the background. He almost slammed on the brakes wanting to take time to drink it all in, but he knew that he was expected soon. So instead, he headed on to his destination.
After a series of more twists and turns, he finally pulled onto a simple gravel road that led even further into the wilderness. A little while down the drive there was a small clearing off to the left and he almost went by it without a second glance but something out of the ordinary caught his eye. A Land Rover was parked near a small lake. Instead of continuing on, Jake pulled up next to the other vehicle and turned off the engine. At first he didn't see the SUV's owner, but then he spotted a solitary figure standing at the water's edge some thirty feet away. He slowly walked in that direction and waited until he was within 5 feet before he spoke.
"Hey Frank. What're you doing out here? I thought we were supposed to meet up at the cabin?" Frank turned to greet the younger man.
"We were. I was just checking one of the security cameras. There are times when I miss having Cody nearby to work his mechanical wizardry."
"What's the problem?" Jake asked, looking around trying to spot the trouble.
"One of the cameras wasn't transmitting. I think I fixed it though." Jake again looked into the tree canopy, trying to spot the offending device. After several minutes he gave up.
"OK……I give up. Where is it?" he finally asked. Frank smiled triumphantly and pointed to a knot hole in a nearby tree trunk. Jake moved over to it and couldn't spot it until he was at least two feet away.
"Well I'll be damned," he barely stated above a whisper. "I would've never seen that. Are they all that well hidden?" Jake knew that Frank had installed cameras around the entire perimeter of the rather large property. Maybe it was overkill, but Frank refused to take any further chances.
"Yep……it took Tom and I a week or more to place them all, and then another week to fine tune the system. No one can make a move on this property without me knowing about it."
"Impressive," Jake said in awe. "So are you finished here, or do you need a hand?"
"All done. Let's head on up to the house." The two then returned to their respective vehicles and made their way up the remainder of the gravel road. As they pulled up to the large cabin that graced the property, Jake was once again struck by how utterly beautiful this place was. The land was awe-inspiring and, of course, the house looked like something out of Architectural Digest. It was a large A-framed structure with unusually large windows that were tinted so that no prying eyes could see inside, and quite a bit of the house was timber framed with stone accents.
Frank noticed that Jake had stopped, so he joined him as he continued his perusal. "Something wrong?" Frank asked, noticing Jake's intense stare.
"No…….I'm just trying to figure out how you never decided to settle down here before. I mean…..this place is incredible, Frank. The trees……the mountains…..the clean air…….this house. Good God, this house is…..is…..well it's…..wow…" Frank chuckled at Jake's inability to articulate.
"Well thank you, but honestly my parents' deserve all the credit for this place. They picked out the land, they had it built. And as for not moving here before…..let's just say that I had other priorities before." Jake nodded knowingly.
The two stood there for a minute longer and then Frank finally broke the silence. "So how is everyone?" he asked anxiously.
Jake sighed sadly and then replied. "They're pissed."
"Still?"
Jake turned to look at his former boss. "Come on Frank…..how would you feel in their place?"
"Yeah…..I guess you're right. I just figured that they'd start to get over it by now, that's all."
"They are…..I think they just need more time. It's been a lot to handle."
"I'm really sorry that you had to get caught in the middle of all of this. I mean….." Jake motioned for Frank to stop.
"Don't……I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, when I volunteered for this. And I did volunteer, Frank. Don't forget that." Frank shook his head unconvinced.
"Sometimes I wonder if things could have been handled differently. Maybe you wouldn't have had to lie so much." Jake looked at Frank and could see the guilt that he still carried around, rearing it's ugly head.
"Frank……I'm glad I could help. I'd do it again without thinking twice. And as for the lies…..well, we both know that that was for everyone's own good. If something had gone horribly wrong, they could've all answered truthfully that they had no idea what was really happening."
"Maybe…….."
"Maybe nothing," Jake said trying to end this particular conversation. "How about you offer me a beer and we'll all sit down and catch up? Where is Kate anyway?" As if on cue, the front door opened at that exact second.
"Did I hear my name?" she asked cheerfully bounding down the front steps.
"You certainly did. I was trying to get Frank here to lighten up a bit and stop feeling so guilty about everything." Kate walked over to Frank and put her arm possessively around his waist and gazed up into his soft brown eyes.
"He does love to feel guilty, doesn't he?" she stated playfully. "I think it's his worst fault. That and the fact that he can't play golf to save his life."
Frank couldn't help but smile at her mischievousness. Any time that she was near him, his mood would lighten noticeably. Perhaps it was as a result of having been separated from her for so long. That had been the worse part of this whole charade, he thought to himself. The four months that they'd spent apart when he was at Brookside had been agonizing. A situation, he promised himself, that would never happen again.
"Ok you two. This is not bash Frank day. And….. I believe I owe Jake a beer." Then taking Kate's hand he led the way into the house. They walked into a large, very airy great room. The ceiling was open up to the roof's rafters. The furniture was large and comfortable and the main attraction to the room was a huge fire place.
"Have a seat and I'll get our drinks," Frank ordered. He moved off to the kitchen leaving Kate and Jake alone.
"So how is he really?" Jake asked quietly.
"He's good……we're good. I just think he still feels guilty about what he put everyone else through, including you." Jake sighed knowing that some things would never change. "I know Frank's talked to you several times since you told everyone our big secret, but he was kind of vague on the details when I asked him what happened. So…..?"
"Well, what can I say. They were mad…..livid actually. They felt used. They thought we didn't trust them, and I can't say I blame them for any of it. We had them jumping through hoops and now they feel betrayed."
"I'm sorry, Jake. I really am. When Frank first told me about this elaborate plan that he and Tom had come up with, I knew that you and the rest of the team were the ones who were really going to pay for this."
Having been so entranced in their conversation, neither heard Frank's return. "What have you two got your heads together about?"
Kate considered coming up with an excuse, but decided that she was through with lying. "I'm trying to get Jake to spill the beans about how everything really went down back in Chicago."
"Kate….." Frank began exasperated.
"Donovan…..don't Kate me! I want to know exactly what went on. So shush!" she demanded. Frank's eyebrow rose at her tone of voice, but instead of being annoyed, he was amused.
Jake chuckled watching the two together. No one else he knew could get away with telling Frank Donovan to shut up. And what was even more amazing was that he actually did keep quiet.
Kate turned her attention back to Jake. "You were saying, before we were so rudely interrupted," she added giving Frank a quick wink out of the corner of her eye.
Still smiling at the two, Jake continued. "I've given them all the arguments for why we had to keep all of this to ourselves, but they still feel like we just didn't trust them enough to know the truth." He leaned forward in his seat resting his arms on his legs and intently staring at his hands. "Monica and Cody have started to come around. Their not happy about it, but on some psychological level they understand that we were only trying to protect them. It's Alex that I'm worried about though. I've started to doubt whether she'll ever fully forgive me."
"She will Jake. You just have to give her some more time," Kate said reassuringly. "The two of you are partners. You're two halves of the same whole. She'll get there, don't worry." Jake looked up at her understanding eyes and smiled.
"If that's what it takes, I've got all the time in the world. I just wished that we didn't have to keep them in the dark about Frank's stay at Brookside. I think that hurts more than anything else."
"I know," Frank began, "I felt the same way. All of them would come to visit and I'd see the fear and concern in their eyes and it tore me up. It took everything I had not to respond to them. But it had to be that way. If I'd been free and roaming around before the rest of the men responsible for this mess had been brought into custody, it was almost a certain bet that I'd have been targeted again. They couldn't get Tom to kill me, so they certainly would have found someone else, and that would have put the rest of you in danger as well." Jake nodded his head in agreement.
"I mean let's face it," Frank continued on, "this whole operation was a house of cards. If one part hadn't gone as planned, the entire scheme would have collapsed. Everyone had to believe that you were really going to turn me in, including Lindford and his cronies. The crucial part was getting Tom's involvement. He put himself in a position to be the one that they'd turn to either target Kate or myself or both. He taped the conversation with Lindford, he arranged for the fake ambulance to pick up Kate's dead body….."
"That was a nice piece of acting by the way," Jake interjected. "I mean I really thought you were coming unhinged the way you're hands were shaking and your eyes were darting around. And then when Frank shot you……Jesus, for a moment I thought something had gone wrong. The blood looked so real and the way your eyes just froze and you sank to the floor…….amazing. You would've made one hell of a UC. I was convinced that's for sure."
"Oh, thank you very much," Kate said embarrassed. "Let's just say that I had motivation enough to make sure that it looked real. And let's just thank God that it was rather dark in that basement, or the blood wouldn't have been so convincing. It was just those blood capsules that you can get at any magic shop. And for the record, the stuff tastes like shit." Frank and Jake both chuckled at that. "And just to top it all off, the stuff that we used to make it look like I was bleeding out, stains. I was laying there on that cold floor for so long that the crap had enough time to thoroughly coat just about every inch of the front of my body. Afterwards I looked like I'd been out sunbathing for too long and got just the front of me burnt. I swear I didn't think it was ever going to come off. I'm sure I lost a good two or three layers of skin trying to scrub it off."
"Well, all I can say is that I was thoroughly convinced," Jake revealed. "I seriously had nightmares for the first couple of weeks after it all went down, reliving what happened in that factory. I mean I knew you weren't really dead and it still wouldn't go away. Hell, I'm the one that brought you up here, and I still had visions of what happened."
"That's what makes you good at your job," Frank told him. "When you're UC, you're totally immersed in the character and the storyline. You had to still maintain that façade of belief around everyone else, so that's why it lingered as long as it did."
"Speaking of being good at your job…..that was one hell of a job convincing everyone that you were really out of it," Jake said to Frank. "That first night when they admitted you, I was convinced that you weren't acting. The way you kept that up for so long was pretty impressive."
"I told him he could have a second career as an undercover agent," Kate stated leaning over to Frank and entwining her arm with his.
"I thought you said I had a promising career as a car thief?" he asked her playfully.
"No…..actually I said that you had a promising career as an auto thief slash criminal behavior analyst. So I guess we just add undercover agent to that list."
"Well……I for one am glad that the whole thing's over. I hate lying to people that I care about," Frank informed them.
"Amen to that," Jake added.
"OK then……I'm going to go and get dinner ready. Jake…..I made up a room for you to stay in. It's the one to the right of the fireplace. Why don't you go get your stuff and get settled."
"Yes ma'am," Jake answered politely. Kate smiled in response and then she moved off to the kitchen. After she left the room, Frank turned to Jake.
"Need a hand with your things?"
"Sure. Why not?" Jake answered. The two left the house and returned to Jake's rented vehicle.
"So what's the real story with you and Alex?" Frank asked out of the blue.
Startled, Jake responded, "Excuse me?"
"I said, what's really going on between you and Alex?" Jake stared at Frank not sure how to respond, so Frank continued. "Jake…..I thought for sure that you told her what was really going on a long time ago. One day she came into work and she couldn't look me in the eye. I just figured it was because you'd told her the whole story and she was either…..one….. mad at me for not including her, or…..two……she thought it would get you in trouble if I found out that she knew. So if it's not either one of those things, then what happened?"
Jake stopped fumbling with his luggage and then turned to stare at Frank. "I screwed up……big time. I…..Jesus I can't believe I did this…..I called her one night. A couple of days before it all went down. I felt isolated. I couldn't really talk to you, and I sure as hell couldn't talk to anyone else on the team. I just needed to connect to someone, so naturally I called Alex. I think maybe I intended to tell her everything, but once she met me at this bar, I couldn't bring myself to put her in that kind of danger." Jake stopped and shuffled his feet for a few moments. "Anyway…..we had a couple of drinks. We talked, but she could tell that I really wasn't telling her what was on my mind. She kept pushing. I tried to distract her by bringing up other things but she kept coming back to it, soooo…….I tried something else to distract her……..I kissed her." Jake glanced at Frank and was surprised to see that he wasn't surprised, or at least he didn't look surprised.
"And….?" Frank prompted.
"And……at first she seemed really shocked and then…….well, let's just say that she returned the favor… in spades. Somehow we ended up back at my place and well……you can guess the rest." Jake looked down at his shoes afraid to look Frank in the eye.
"So…..what do you plan on doing about it?" Frank asked calmly.
"Do about it?" Jake asked confused.
"I mean, do you plan on running away from the situation, or do you plan on trying to make it right?"
"I'm not running," Jake tried to refute.
"Oh really….." Frank said sarcastically. "Is that why you're here and not back in Chicago trying to work it out with Alex and the rest of the team?" Jake tried to respond, but Frank stopped him.
"You have to figure out what you really want in life, Jake. If what happened between you and Alex was a mistake, then the two of you need to sit down and work out how to mend your friendship, but if this is a relationship you want to pursue then you damn well better get back there and stop running away." He paused to look at the younger man. "Jake…..I've spent the better part of my adult life running away from serious relationships. When I look back on all of the wasted years I spent alone….."
"Yeah, but just think…..if you'd found someone before, then you wouldn't have Kate in your life now, would you?" Frank had to smile at Jake's brand of logic.
"You may have a point, Agent Shaw," Frank said with a smile.
"I have my moments. But I'll think about what you said. But honestly, I'm not sure what I want. I just knew that being in Chicago right now was suffocating me."
Changing the subject, Frank said, "Let's go see what Kate's making for dinner."
So the two climbed the steps once more and moved inside. About an hour later, the three sat down to a sumptuous feast. The talk was lively, a couple bottles of wine were consumed, and all in all the evening was passed in pleasant company. Then around 11:00 or so, Jake excused himself stating that the day had been long and that he was exhausted. Frank and Kate bid him goodnight as he entered the room that Kate had prepared for him.
A little while later, the couple made their way to the master bedroom on the second floor. After changing into her nightgown, Kate sat on the edge of bed combing her hair, lost in thought over the day's events. Frank approached her, took the brush out of her hand, put it on the bedside table and then knelt down in front of her.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked as he rubbed his hands up and down her thighs.
She smiled warmly, and then answered. "I'm worried about him."
Frank shook his head. "He'll be alright. He just needs time to heal, just like the rest of us."
"Maybe, but then he doesn't have anyone to help him get over it."
Frank smiled knowingly, "Maybe…..maybe not." Kate's interest was piqued. She studied his face looking for the clues that she knew were hidden there. After a few seconds of perusal, her eyes flew open.
"Alex?" she asked in astonishment. Frank was taken back by her leap of logic.
"What made you say that?" He asked curiously.
"It was the way he talked about her earlier. Gosh……I guess it all makes sense. Wow………you think it'll work out? You know…the two of them?"
"Hmmm…….I don't know. They're both stubborn as hell, but then they're fiercely loyal to each other……..maybe."
Leaning forward, Kate gave Frank a light kiss. "You know what I want?" He smiled at her devilishly.
"Is that a question or a statement."
"Either……but the answer is……I don't want to talk about Jake Shaw anymore."
"You don't?" Frank responded as he slowly stood and then pushed Kate further onto the bed.
"Nope…..I don't want to talk about him….the team…..anything whatsoever to do with anything that ever happened in either one of our lives…..," she responded as she reached up and placed her hands on either side of his face as he lowered himself slowly so that he was laying on top of her. He kissed her gently, taking the time to thoroughly investigate her lips.
"Hmmm……then I wonder what you could possibly want," he said as he nuzzled her neck.
"Here let me show you," she said as she brought his mouth to hers, joining in a heated kiss.
A few hours later the two lay together, physically exhausted but happy and content. Neither was asleep, but simply enjoying the closeness that they both felt after a night of intense love-making.
"What are you thinking about?" Frank asked quietly as he lay on his back, his arms wrapped around the woman that he loved more than life itself.
"I was wondering if it's possible that I really did die in that basement."
Frank pulled back slightly so that he could see her face as she lay against his chest. "What made you say that?" he asked confused.
"Not too long ago, my idea of heaven was living in a beautiful house in the middle of a myriad of trees with the mountains in the distance. I wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning and see your face. And more importantly, my idea of heaven was falling asleep in your arms every night after we made love." She raised herself on one elbow so that she could see him more clearly. "I have all that…..I never thought I would. I never let myself even realistically hope for it. And now…..well it all just seems too good to be true. That's why I was wondering if I really am dead, and this really is heaven."
He watched her eyes in the moonlight and could see that she was being serious. He brought his hand to her face and gently traced his fingers across her cheek.
"Would it matter if it wasn't real?" he asked.
She studied him for a moment longer before answering. "As long as the two of us are together, I don't really care. I just don't want to wake up tomorrow and find out that it was all a dream."
"It's no dream, I can assure you of that. Now…….let's get some sleep. The morning will come all too early." Kate settled back against him, and sighed happily.
"I love you," she muttered quietly as she drifted off to sleep.
"And I love you too," he whispered in return, knowing that she was already asleep. Frank laid there for at least another hour before he too succumbed. He liked to lay quietly late at night and ponder the incredible turn his life had taken. Not so long ago, he could have never imagined being so delightfully happy. The thought made him smile and subconsciously he tightened his hold around Kate. And with his last thought being of her, he slipped into blissful, restful sleep.
THE END
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My final thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed my story!! As I stated 22 chapters ago, this was my first attempt at writing fan fiction, and the experience has turned into something so much more than I had ever expected it to be!
So one last time………THANK YOU…..THANK YOU…….THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////