Part Seventeen
They all moved to the living room and spread out over the seats. Maria sat by herself on the one-seater, holding herself separate from the rest of them, and Michael leaned against the wall his arms crossed.
No one said anything. They didn't know how to begin.
"Well, since you obviously don't have anything to say, I assume it's alright for me to leave – or am I under house arrest?" Maria announced, "I do have plans, you know." She stood up.
"Maria, please. Just listen to us," Liz said softly, pleadingly.
"Why? Why should I? You didn't listen to me. Tell me why I should listen to you."
"We were idiots. We are idiots. Maria, please. We need to fix this," Kyle said.
"Fine. Talk, then."
In a halting voice Alex started, Kyle, Isabel, Tess, Max, and Liz adding in between. They told her the whole story, what Courtney had done, and why.
Maria didn't say a word, and kept her face carefully blank while she listened. About how they found out; about Alex, Tess, Kyle and Isabel worrying about why she didn't show up to work, their plan to ask her and the conversation they overheard accidentally. She tried to hide the hurt that Liz, Michael and Max didn't care enough to even wonder about what she was doing, but not well enough and they saw it – it was another stab to the heart, another bit of guilt.
"God, Maria we are so sorry. You have no idea. I know its not easy to do but will you at least consider forgiving us," Tess pleaded at the end.
"How come it was so easy for you to believe this? Someone tell me why. I'm your best friend – how could you think that I would do that?" Maria yelled at them. It was the first time they had spoken about it and it felt good to scream. She stared them all in the eyes, starting with Michael and ending with Liz. And everyone else faded a little and this became between two friends, best friends whose friendship had been destroyed by a betrayal.
"You want to know why. Why – I'll tell you. I was jealous alright." Liz yelled back, the emotional upheaval of everything finally giving out in this confrontation that was days too late.
"Jealous of me. What the hell for."
"Isn't it obvious?" and both of their voices softened to a normal conversation that was almost normal in its tones.
"No. It isn't. I don't get it. You believed Max with the Tess thing and you believed Max with this. Why would you think I would do it." The hurt was evident in Maria's voice, all masks dropped.
Liz sighed, "Max and I were not on great terms, you know that. We were back together and I explained the Kyle thing but we…we didn't talk like before."
"You were together. What does this have to do with me?"
"Everything. All that time I was away, and when I came back, everywhere I saw Max, I saw you."
"We were friends. I was helping him get you back – remember you, the girl who he had been in love with since 3rd grade., my former best friend."
Liz cringed, "Well. I couldn't help it, okay. I was jealous. It was worse then with Tess. Tess never stood a chance of getting him but you… you could have had him if you snapped your fingers." Maria wasn't the only one that was shocked. Max had a complete look of confusion. In fact the only ones that didn't look confused were Michael, Tess and Isabel.
Maria gave a disbelieving look. "Please. Like that was ever going to happen. Max didn't even see other girls and I loved Michael." Michael winced at her use of the past tense.
"You don't see it – your power." To Maria's shock, she saw Isabel and Tess nodding in agreement.
"What does that mean. My power?" This time Maria addressed the question to all the girls.
"If we hadn't gotten back together, Max would have come after you. I could see it in his eyes. Even after we got back together he never came to me to talk. Everytime he had a problem, he ran to you. How the hell do you think that made me feel."
"I think that you are an idiot. He came to me because I was your best friend and his problems, his world revolved around you. And Max would never come after me. He wouldn't do that to Michael. Then again what do I know. You all did it to me." And again the bitterness shone through.
"I'm sorry okay. I was just so mad and so jealous I let everything blind me. The thing is I knew you didn't see him like that. I just would remember all the things you used to say about Max being the perfect boyfriend and I just … went a little nuts."
"Oh, excuse me. Of course. I should have known that meant I had designs on your boyfriend because I'm such backstabbing…" sarcasm was evident.
"Stop alright. I know I was a complete idiot. I just couldn't help the way I felt." Liz cut her off.
"You believed Max. You wouldn't even stop and ask me what really happened."
"I couldn't stop and ask you. I was so furious with you. You're the person I trust most in the world and to think that you did that … I just couldn't okay," Liz replied.
"Don't you mean trusted most in the world. And after everything I put up from you."
"What do you mean?"
"For years I was your best friend. And you know what, Liz you are one of the most selfish people I know. Your life revolves around you and only you. How much do you even know about me – huh? Do you know when Michael and I had our first kiss, that I write songs, that…" she stopped and Liz stared at her, horrified, "You don't know any of that because far as you were concerned all I ever was, was your sidekick. You always thought your life was more important than mine."
"That is not true. I… I just always needed you more than you needed me. Its why I couldn't ever keep a secret from you. You were always the strong one – teflon, remember. I know I'm selfish sometimes but Maria, we're best friends. I can't do this without you. Don't you think I know that you keep things from me. I know you don't tell me when it hurts, when you cry," Liz looked at Maria, tears falling from her eyes, "I just never knew how to fix things. Before , I used to call Grandma Claudia and ask her. She used to say, if Maria needs you Lizzie she'll tell you. Let her work it out by herself. And so I did. I guess… I just got so used to letting you do that I stopped being a good friend. I'm so sorry, Ria. I never meant you to feel like that. I'm sorry I didn't come and ask you, that I believed that skin, that I made everyone believe me. I'm so sorry." Liz was crying so hard now she stopped speaking. Max wrapped his arms around her and held her.
Maria wanted to go to her, to make her stop crying but a part of her was still so furious. It hurt so much. Everything. Liz crying, everyone cornering her, what they did. It all just hurt. She turned around to hide the tears in her own eyes, and faced the window shutting them tightly to block the tears. She didn't see her reflection staring at them. She didn't see Michael take a step towards her, hold out his hand and take it back, unsure of what to do. Isabel's strong voice broke over the sounds of sobbing.
"We will fight for you Maria. I wont let Courtney destroy us that easily. Not after everything we fought for to get here. It doesn't mean anything without you."
And her anger not yet spent came back. Facing Isabel, now and blocking the rest of the room she started, her mask back on but her emotions real, "That's rich, Isabel. Really. If I learnt anything in the last few weeks is that I never meant anything to any of you. All I ever was to you was someone you put up with because of Michael. I was the girl Liz blabbed the secret too. The weird girl who was going to tell all to Valenti. The girl who saw monsters in her dreams. The threat, the freak - that's who I was. So don't tell me that I mean a lot to you."
"You want to know who you are. I'll tell you. You're the girl who didn't tell Valenti anything despite the fact I did my best to scare the hell out you. You're the girl that helped heal Michael even after the crappy way we treated you. The girl who took him in and helped him when he was scared. The girl that was determined to be my friend even after I pushed her away and threaten to kill her. The girl who stopped my brother from going into a total depression even while she was hurting just as bad. The girl who never gives up on people. The girl who…the girl who's my… best friend," she trailed off softly. Everyone was silent. Maria had a tear running down her face.
"I won't let you go, Maria. I'm not giving you up because I was so stupid. You're the strongest person I know, I need you to be my friend – I need to be yours. I want us to last, all of us. College. Marriage. Babies," she said tearfully. Then Isabel began to laugh – it had a slight hysterical edge to it, "How can I be a bridesmaid at your wedding if you're not talking to me – huh?"
"How many times do I got to tell you, huh? I am not getting married," Maria said but she smiled a small smile at Isabel. And walked the step towards her. It was all it took. Isabel ran the rest of the way and wrapped the smaller girl in her arms.
"I'm so sorry, Ria. I won't ever do anything like this again. Ever," she cried.
"You'd better not. I won't be as nice next time," Maria said crying as well. She leant back and looked at the taller girl, "Did you mean what you said?"
"Every word." Isabel said firmly.
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay. I'll let you be bridesmaid when I get married." And Isabel started to laugh.
"And I guess that's makes you maid of honour, Liz," Maria said softly, turning to face Liz.
"Really. Really, Maria," and suddenly Maria flew backwards as Liz came rushing at her. And for a few minutes, all they did was hug. Isabel wrapped her arms around them both as well.
"Guys, I really do need to breathe now," Maria said laughing lightly. The first real laugh she had had in ages. She looked up and the two girls backed of a little, Liz grabbing her hand tightly not willing to let go just yet.
Tess stood staring at the three girls, and buried the envy she felt when she saw them. The closeness she hadn't ever felt before until Maria accepted her in the group. But that was before. She didn't feel a tear fall from her face. She didn't see it hit the ground and splash lightly but others saw. Kyle saw and Maria saw.
"So Tess, wanna be a bridesmaid at my non-existent wedding," Maria said to her, the generous spirit she was known for, not allowing the obviously sorry girl suffer any more.
And Tess looked up at her, "You'll forgive me? After everything I did?" she said hopefully.
"Chica, you got a lot to learn about humanity but I figure you made a good start. Nice call on the singing there. I know it was your idea – you probably saw that movie as often as I did. I can't believe you talked them into it," Maria said gently to Tess. She always spoke gently to Tess, and treated her like fragile glass. She was one of the few that realised how easily hurt Tess was, how sensitive she was. They had a lot in common, along with an underlying steel that made them survivors.
"It wasn't hard, Maria," Tess said, another unnoticed tear falling. Tears was something she didn't quite recognise, having used so little of it, in her strange life, "They would do anything for you. Anything at all." She walked to Maria. Maria opened her arms and Tess lay her head on her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Ria. I will do anything to make it up to you – you were nice to me when you didn't have to be and I will never forget that. I'm sorry I let them make me believe otherwise. I just felt so betrayed, thinking you tore the group apart for something so stupid. The group was all I had," Tess said into her shoulder. Maria patted her on the back softly.
"We'll fix it now, Tess. Okay?"
"Okay." Tess replied.
Isabel watched her boyfriend smile at the reunion and then the smile leave his face, its appearance brief as all his smiles were since he lost Maria. She pulled Liz's arm and took Tess's hand in hers before leading the way out the room, "We'll get some drinks for all of us," she said and the girls left the boys to talk to her.
End Part 17
A/N
To make up for taking a while...lots of grovelling and a pretty long part. Enjoy. Let me know what you think.
Domino
They all moved to the living room and spread out over the seats. Maria sat by herself on the one-seater, holding herself separate from the rest of them, and Michael leaned against the wall his arms crossed.
No one said anything. They didn't know how to begin.
"Well, since you obviously don't have anything to say, I assume it's alright for me to leave – or am I under house arrest?" Maria announced, "I do have plans, you know." She stood up.
"Maria, please. Just listen to us," Liz said softly, pleadingly.
"Why? Why should I? You didn't listen to me. Tell me why I should listen to you."
"We were idiots. We are idiots. Maria, please. We need to fix this," Kyle said.
"Fine. Talk, then."
In a halting voice Alex started, Kyle, Isabel, Tess, Max, and Liz adding in between. They told her the whole story, what Courtney had done, and why.
Maria didn't say a word, and kept her face carefully blank while she listened. About how they found out; about Alex, Tess, Kyle and Isabel worrying about why she didn't show up to work, their plan to ask her and the conversation they overheard accidentally. She tried to hide the hurt that Liz, Michael and Max didn't care enough to even wonder about what she was doing, but not well enough and they saw it – it was another stab to the heart, another bit of guilt.
"God, Maria we are so sorry. You have no idea. I know its not easy to do but will you at least consider forgiving us," Tess pleaded at the end.
"How come it was so easy for you to believe this? Someone tell me why. I'm your best friend – how could you think that I would do that?" Maria yelled at them. It was the first time they had spoken about it and it felt good to scream. She stared them all in the eyes, starting with Michael and ending with Liz. And everyone else faded a little and this became between two friends, best friends whose friendship had been destroyed by a betrayal.
"You want to know why. Why – I'll tell you. I was jealous alright." Liz yelled back, the emotional upheaval of everything finally giving out in this confrontation that was days too late.
"Jealous of me. What the hell for."
"Isn't it obvious?" and both of their voices softened to a normal conversation that was almost normal in its tones.
"No. It isn't. I don't get it. You believed Max with the Tess thing and you believed Max with this. Why would you think I would do it." The hurt was evident in Maria's voice, all masks dropped.
Liz sighed, "Max and I were not on great terms, you know that. We were back together and I explained the Kyle thing but we…we didn't talk like before."
"You were together. What does this have to do with me?"
"Everything. All that time I was away, and when I came back, everywhere I saw Max, I saw you."
"We were friends. I was helping him get you back – remember you, the girl who he had been in love with since 3rd grade., my former best friend."
Liz cringed, "Well. I couldn't help it, okay. I was jealous. It was worse then with Tess. Tess never stood a chance of getting him but you… you could have had him if you snapped your fingers." Maria wasn't the only one that was shocked. Max had a complete look of confusion. In fact the only ones that didn't look confused were Michael, Tess and Isabel.
Maria gave a disbelieving look. "Please. Like that was ever going to happen. Max didn't even see other girls and I loved Michael." Michael winced at her use of the past tense.
"You don't see it – your power." To Maria's shock, she saw Isabel and Tess nodding in agreement.
"What does that mean. My power?" This time Maria addressed the question to all the girls.
"If we hadn't gotten back together, Max would have come after you. I could see it in his eyes. Even after we got back together he never came to me to talk. Everytime he had a problem, he ran to you. How the hell do you think that made me feel."
"I think that you are an idiot. He came to me because I was your best friend and his problems, his world revolved around you. And Max would never come after me. He wouldn't do that to Michael. Then again what do I know. You all did it to me." And again the bitterness shone through.
"I'm sorry okay. I was just so mad and so jealous I let everything blind me. The thing is I knew you didn't see him like that. I just would remember all the things you used to say about Max being the perfect boyfriend and I just … went a little nuts."
"Oh, excuse me. Of course. I should have known that meant I had designs on your boyfriend because I'm such backstabbing…" sarcasm was evident.
"Stop alright. I know I was a complete idiot. I just couldn't help the way I felt." Liz cut her off.
"You believed Max. You wouldn't even stop and ask me what really happened."
"I couldn't stop and ask you. I was so furious with you. You're the person I trust most in the world and to think that you did that … I just couldn't okay," Liz replied.
"Don't you mean trusted most in the world. And after everything I put up from you."
"What do you mean?"
"For years I was your best friend. And you know what, Liz you are one of the most selfish people I know. Your life revolves around you and only you. How much do you even know about me – huh? Do you know when Michael and I had our first kiss, that I write songs, that…" she stopped and Liz stared at her, horrified, "You don't know any of that because far as you were concerned all I ever was, was your sidekick. You always thought your life was more important than mine."
"That is not true. I… I just always needed you more than you needed me. Its why I couldn't ever keep a secret from you. You were always the strong one – teflon, remember. I know I'm selfish sometimes but Maria, we're best friends. I can't do this without you. Don't you think I know that you keep things from me. I know you don't tell me when it hurts, when you cry," Liz looked at Maria, tears falling from her eyes, "I just never knew how to fix things. Before , I used to call Grandma Claudia and ask her. She used to say, if Maria needs you Lizzie she'll tell you. Let her work it out by herself. And so I did. I guess… I just got so used to letting you do that I stopped being a good friend. I'm so sorry, Ria. I never meant you to feel like that. I'm sorry I didn't come and ask you, that I believed that skin, that I made everyone believe me. I'm so sorry." Liz was crying so hard now she stopped speaking. Max wrapped his arms around her and held her.
Maria wanted to go to her, to make her stop crying but a part of her was still so furious. It hurt so much. Everything. Liz crying, everyone cornering her, what they did. It all just hurt. She turned around to hide the tears in her own eyes, and faced the window shutting them tightly to block the tears. She didn't see her reflection staring at them. She didn't see Michael take a step towards her, hold out his hand and take it back, unsure of what to do. Isabel's strong voice broke over the sounds of sobbing.
"We will fight for you Maria. I wont let Courtney destroy us that easily. Not after everything we fought for to get here. It doesn't mean anything without you."
And her anger not yet spent came back. Facing Isabel, now and blocking the rest of the room she started, her mask back on but her emotions real, "That's rich, Isabel. Really. If I learnt anything in the last few weeks is that I never meant anything to any of you. All I ever was to you was someone you put up with because of Michael. I was the girl Liz blabbed the secret too. The weird girl who was going to tell all to Valenti. The girl who saw monsters in her dreams. The threat, the freak - that's who I was. So don't tell me that I mean a lot to you."
"You want to know who you are. I'll tell you. You're the girl who didn't tell Valenti anything despite the fact I did my best to scare the hell out you. You're the girl that helped heal Michael even after the crappy way we treated you. The girl who took him in and helped him when he was scared. The girl that was determined to be my friend even after I pushed her away and threaten to kill her. The girl who stopped my brother from going into a total depression even while she was hurting just as bad. The girl who never gives up on people. The girl who…the girl who's my… best friend," she trailed off softly. Everyone was silent. Maria had a tear running down her face.
"I won't let you go, Maria. I'm not giving you up because I was so stupid. You're the strongest person I know, I need you to be my friend – I need to be yours. I want us to last, all of us. College. Marriage. Babies," she said tearfully. Then Isabel began to laugh – it had a slight hysterical edge to it, "How can I be a bridesmaid at your wedding if you're not talking to me – huh?"
"How many times do I got to tell you, huh? I am not getting married," Maria said but she smiled a small smile at Isabel. And walked the step towards her. It was all it took. Isabel ran the rest of the way and wrapped the smaller girl in her arms.
"I'm so sorry, Ria. I won't ever do anything like this again. Ever," she cried.
"You'd better not. I won't be as nice next time," Maria said crying as well. She leant back and looked at the taller girl, "Did you mean what you said?"
"Every word." Isabel said firmly.
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay. I'll let you be bridesmaid when I get married." And Isabel started to laugh.
"And I guess that's makes you maid of honour, Liz," Maria said softly, turning to face Liz.
"Really. Really, Maria," and suddenly Maria flew backwards as Liz came rushing at her. And for a few minutes, all they did was hug. Isabel wrapped her arms around them both as well.
"Guys, I really do need to breathe now," Maria said laughing lightly. The first real laugh she had had in ages. She looked up and the two girls backed of a little, Liz grabbing her hand tightly not willing to let go just yet.
Tess stood staring at the three girls, and buried the envy she felt when she saw them. The closeness she hadn't ever felt before until Maria accepted her in the group. But that was before. She didn't feel a tear fall from her face. She didn't see it hit the ground and splash lightly but others saw. Kyle saw and Maria saw.
"So Tess, wanna be a bridesmaid at my non-existent wedding," Maria said to her, the generous spirit she was known for, not allowing the obviously sorry girl suffer any more.
And Tess looked up at her, "You'll forgive me? After everything I did?" she said hopefully.
"Chica, you got a lot to learn about humanity but I figure you made a good start. Nice call on the singing there. I know it was your idea – you probably saw that movie as often as I did. I can't believe you talked them into it," Maria said gently to Tess. She always spoke gently to Tess, and treated her like fragile glass. She was one of the few that realised how easily hurt Tess was, how sensitive she was. They had a lot in common, along with an underlying steel that made them survivors.
"It wasn't hard, Maria," Tess said, another unnoticed tear falling. Tears was something she didn't quite recognise, having used so little of it, in her strange life, "They would do anything for you. Anything at all." She walked to Maria. Maria opened her arms and Tess lay her head on her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Ria. I will do anything to make it up to you – you were nice to me when you didn't have to be and I will never forget that. I'm sorry I let them make me believe otherwise. I just felt so betrayed, thinking you tore the group apart for something so stupid. The group was all I had," Tess said into her shoulder. Maria patted her on the back softly.
"We'll fix it now, Tess. Okay?"
"Okay." Tess replied.
Isabel watched her boyfriend smile at the reunion and then the smile leave his face, its appearance brief as all his smiles were since he lost Maria. She pulled Liz's arm and took Tess's hand in hers before leading the way out the room, "We'll get some drinks for all of us," she said and the girls left the boys to talk to her.
End Part 17
A/N
To make up for taking a while...lots of grovelling and a pretty long part. Enjoy. Let me know what you think.
Domino