DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Gundam but I do own everything after
EW!
Stealing my ideas will result in your quick and efficient disposal at the hands of my army of succubuses. So don't do it! Xiran, Saze, and Genesis are mine and mine alone. Anyway, on a side note, I apologize for not having any space fights yet. Gomen! I know I promised it at the end of my last chap, but it just didn't fit into the schedule. But be assured, the next chapter will have some hardcore Gundam battles AND a cliffhanger ending. MWAHAHAAA!!!
CHAPTER TEN: BITTER FLAMES
"Is it true?"
Duo's normally genial expression had sharpened, his violet eyes focusing intensely on her face. For the first time since she had met him she saw danger in his eyes, saw the side of him that called itself Shinigami.
All trace of laughter had vanished from his demeanor.
His question hung in the air between her and them, like a thread that was a connection to the person they thought she was.
Without looking at him, she knew just how cold and angry Heero's eyes would be. The others were silent, their faces not yet written with judgment. Only Wufei showed the fury moving beneath his face. It was in the burning of his dark eyes; the accusation of what he already knew to be true.
The girl who called herself Xiran Ki'Era let her unfeeling eyes rake over all of them, knowing that she was stepping to the edge of the precipice of her great lie. She stood there, feeling the question ring with finality upon the air. The eyes of the men in the room were closed to her, like those of strangers.
These men she faced here were the Gundam Pilots. She understood it fully for the first time, witnessing the full force of their battle personas. These were the warriors of peace, boys weaned on war and slim hope, grown into men. These were the ones who stood around her. These were the greatest weapons the United Earth Sphere possessed.
She took a breath, feeling the darkness of her lie yawn beneath her, she said, "Yes."
[Trowa]
So it was true.
Trowa's mind did several mental re-evaluations.
The fighting skills. The heightened senses. The familiarity with the enemy. The viciousness. It all fit together. Fit, yes, but seamlessly, no. As always, there were questions that needed to be asked of Xiran Ki'Era, but now she was Six of Ten as well, and who knew where her loyalties would lie.
Trowa stood at the back near Quatre. He had a full view of the events unfolding before him.
He thought to himself, 'The price of truth is always higher than the lie that spawned it. By now, she has learned that. But what it has taught her, and what it will mean, has yet to be seen.'
[Wufei]
Wufei thought, keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. I should have learned that by now. No one is really what they seem. Least of all friends like this lying onna who we let into our ranks with all the naiveté of fourth graders.
He looked at her, barely even bothering to hide his disdain. She would have looked the same as always, with her dark maroon hair caught up in a twist and her bangs falling in her sharp oval face--except for the look in her eyes. Colder than Wufei had ever seen them, they were the eyes of someone different, older, and with all the emotion of a predator on a dark night.
He refused to show her just how much she had fooled him with her façade. He stared back unflinchingly, thinking, A formidable fighter, yes, but a fool nontheless.
Xiran moved her eyes emotionlessly over them. To their silence and their unuttered question, she said:
"Yes, I am the hybrid numbered Six of Ten. My codename is Raven. I am of generation two, originally positioned at Facility Omega. My mission is to kill the Gundam Pilots."
Wufei clenched his teeth, feeling his temper flare. "Baka. Do you think I will even consider what you say now? All the words coming out of your mouth could be lies. What matters now is not what you said, or why, but simply that you lied. All the rest of it is meaningless next to that. There's nothing now that you can make me believe." He turned and stalked past the rest of them towards the door.
Her voice stopped him.
"Wufei Chang of the Dragon Clan. Positioned at colony Lagrange Point 5, pilot of Gundams Shenlong and Altron—"
Whirling on her, he replied, "Anyone could know that—"
"—marital status: widower." Her voice was so cold.
Wufei felt his face drain of colour.
"Codename: Nataku. She—"
"Stop it!" His voice was choked.
How dare she! How dare she! He started forward, only to be stopped by Trowa's calmly extended arm. Wufei shook him off furiously but stood his ground.
Xiran simply stared at him flatly.
The rest of the pilots said nothing.
Wufei could barely hold his anger in check. He seethed silently, long buried images of her rising in his mind. Her hair, the way it shone in the light. The way she kept her eyes narrowed when she was angry. Her fierce devotion to what she believed in. All those things he had noticed only at the end…
The images came then, he couldn't stop them: Nataku, fighting in her Gundam to protect the people in the colony.
Meiran, asking him her questions in the field of flowers.
And then Sally.
Wufei's teeth ground together. He became aware of the other pilots, who were watching him expressionlessly, and rearranged his face.
He raised his eyes once again to Xiran's, their depths calm and composed.
'For that, I will never forgive you.'
[Xiran]
Wufei was the first.
'That was cruel. You see what that did to him'.
She slowly and purposefully turned to face a pair of cobalt eyes. Heero was looking at her like she was the enemy. She thought very clearly, 'I don't care.' She opened her mouth.
"That's enough," Heero snapped.
He knew what she had been about to say.
His glare of ice pierced her, she wanted to turn away but didn't. Slowly she raised her arm and drew back her shirt, exposing her wrist. She said quietly, "If you want proof, all that you'll ever need is in here. In my blood. It's what they want."
[Quatre]
'I could have prevented this.'
Trowa, next to him said, very calmly, "If you are who you say you are, then what are your motivations now? Why haven't you killed us?"
Quatre watched her face. This was a person whom he would trust with his life, but not with a secret.
Her gaze only became frostier.
Heero said in a low voice, "You know all this information about us…but we know nothing of you. And we can't trust you to tell us the truth. Shall we begin calling you Six?"
His tone was surprisingly hard. Xiran's eyes flashed to him, flickering slightly.
"Arcon was the one who called me Xiran," she said. "Six of Ten is the number I was born with."
The pilots were silent. Heero's blue gaze was sharp and aggressive. Quatre could see the effort Xiran put forth to prevent her anger from showing.
"It doesn't matter what you call me. I am the same either way."
She threw one glance at Heero and continued, "I was created and raised in Facility Omega, as one of the ten second generations. I was trained for war, first by hybrid named 21. He was there at the Center, he's the leader of the squad that attacked us. But the man leading 21 is a hybrid named 57." Her dark eyes were starkly full of old hate, burning like gems, just like the night in the bar when Darus tried to hit her in the face. Her hand clenched unconsciously at the fabric of her pants.
"My mission to kill the pilots was simple. I would filter through their entire lives and know them like brothers, and then I would hunt them down. For this I had to learn everything about being in human society, to ensure that I wouldn't give myself away. This was the purpose of my existence, even though I had only one crucial part in the battle that Arcon was preparing for. But 57 and I…we played cruel games with each other."
She stopped. Her eyes were very cold. They all knew what had happened.
"Three and I had overheard a different plan for Genesis from several unknown hybrids. It told of a new time, and a great war. It was what lay beneath Arcon's original plan, for an outside force to enforce a full armistice on the colonies and earth. But we weren't devious enough to convince my commander that we were still ignorant." Quatre could see how much it cost her to remain indifferent while saying that.
"After that I made preparations to leave the facility and destroy all evidence of the Genesis project research. I made sure all my humanity was buried, lest he read my intentions. But that only infuriated him." She paused, her eyes briefly distant.
[Xiran]
1 'Don't think about him, don't think…'
You owe them the truth at least.
Then here it is.
"The one to tens were in a state of cellular breakdown. Their genomes would be unmappable in a short span of time. So 57 administered the final tests, the ones that would be a lethal test of the genetic information.
I wasn't fast enough to stop it. I came upon them in the middle of it. He was gone. But they were still living. So I put them out of their misery."
The silence was icy. The pilots did nothing but look at her. She knew that now, if they didn't trust her before, they surely didn't trust her now. She thought, 'but what does it matter? I have stolen their post war lives from them, just as I have stolen the ones of my comrades. And worse, I have lied to them…and myself.'
[Quatre]
'Oh Xiran. I'm sorry.
I could have prevented this!'
She continued, "I set in motion the plan Three and I had made. I left the facility in my gundam and detonated the research data. Once I came to earth I created a new identity and set about finding you.
I came to earth to stop this war."
There was a long silence.
"You said that before, Xiran," Trowa reminded her gently.
She looked at him. "It was Three's wish that the war be stopped."
"That's not good enough." It was Heero this time.
Her eyes flared. "I came back to earth because I wanted the war stopped…and because I will not let Arcon and 57 win this battle."
"Vengeance, then. But for what?"
She said nothing for a time. "For many things."
"That's not good enough." Again, the accusation. Heero had never been like this before.
"For me." She barely kept the snarl out of her voice. She regained her composure. "I want to make them pay. I want them to rue the day they made me. Isn't that reason enough?"
[Duo]
She wouldn't look at him for too long. Her eyes were downcast, her head bent.
His violet eyes were steady as he tied the rope around her wrist. She hadn't been able to look at him since they had come here. Only when he had volunteered to be the one to restrain her had her eyes fully come to rest on his. For a split second he's seen the anger and misery in her gaze, but then she had dropped her eyes and silently come with him.
She was as cooperative as a person resigned to their fate. Duo finished tying her left wrist and began on her right. The silence pressed down on his ears.
The pilots had made the decision to tie her up to the metal pipes in the spare room. They had thought it best that she remain stationary until they could figure out what to do. Duo thought…well he really was focusing rather hard on not thinking at this point. Well, that was partly because he knew that a part of himself was deeply angry and partly because he didn't want to vent until he knew the lowdown on the situation. What Xiran or Six, or whoever she was, had done…well she had her reasons. Whether they were good ones or not was what Duo had to figure out. I never thought she'd do anything to hurt us intentionally. What she did to Wufei…was completely unnecessary. I don't know if he'll ever forgive her. And Heero. I didn't think she'd ever hurt him like that. Duo almost didn't know what to think about her anymore.
Dammit, why wouldn't she look at him?
Xi, he thought, I—he bit his tongue. Be intelligent for once, he told himself. Look before you leap, or however that bloody saying goes.
Xiran's gaze flickered to him briefly and then away. She had seen his irritation, dammit. 'Ok calm yourself, Duo my man.
But don't I have a right to be angry? She lied to me!
Ok that's it, stop having conversations with yourself, Duo! That's definitely a sign of mental instability!
I--
Stop it!!'
Duo looked down at her again, his eyes hard. She was sitting with her back against the wall, her wrists bound up to the pipe just above her head, staring off into the shadows.
Suddenly he couldn't find it in himself to hate her. But for now, silence was the only thing he could give her.
[Xiran]
The silence had taken on the greyness of the shadows. She stared ahead, thinking, 'now is the time where you should be feeling something. Anything. There should be more than this…numbness, this stagnancy. This is what you were wishing for out there and now you have it. Is it worse or is it better, feeling nothing?
…I don't know.'
Duo had paused in the process of completing the last knot. He was standing above her wordlessly.
The shadows lay curled in the corners of the room. She watched them dully. The silence stretched on.
The shadows, like pieces of discarded night, seemed to lengthen. 'They have come back to get me, my demons. I never had monsters under my bed. My monsters were human.
Damned self-pity.'
She closed her eyes for a moment, ignoring the images that flashed by in the darkness. 'If you truly felt nothing, Xiran, then…'
Her eyes snapped open. Violet eyes stared back into hers. Duo was kneeling in front of her, his face not far from hers.
She had nothing to say. His gaze was unreadable. He slowly raised his hands and then with a hard pulling motion, tightened the last knot. It was tighter than it needed to be. And he knew that.
His anger and betrayal flared in his eyes for one second and then it passed. He stood up. At the door he threw one last glance her way. All the pain of his broken trust was in that glance, and it was the last thing she saw before the door closed.
Xiran closed her eyes again. In the dark her face shifted.
She thought, 'It's better…definitely better…'
[Quatre]
"I really don't think we should restrain her."
Wufei looked at him, his eyes dark. "We can't trust her to stay here."
"It might not help at all. It's likely she's able to get out of those bonds, with all her training, " Trowa commented.
"So you're saying she's telling the truth?" Wufei said sharply. His eyes flicked to Duo, who was just coming back into the room.
"Hey hey," Duo said, raising his hands in a gesture of peace, "Calm down, Wu-man. Don't worry about it. My knots are the best out there."
Wufei said nothing, but Quatre could see him bristle. This was not a good situation. He exchanged a glance with Trowa. His green eyes were cool. He nodded slightly.
"Come on, we better sit down and discuss this," Quatre said quietly. Duo obediently plopped himself down and Trowa followed suit, but Wufei remained standing, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Aren't you going to sit down, Wufei?"
"Not right now," He snapped. Quatre flinched. Trowa's green eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
"That's fine," Quatre said. Duo was looking around.
"Where's Heero?"
Trowa said calmly, "He's here."
Heero appeared out of the kitchen and sat down. His blue eyes were unreadable, but he was tense. Quatre could see by the hard way his face was that he was still deeply angry.
2 'Oh boy, this is going to be one hell of a meeting…'
[Duo]
"Well what are we supposed to discuss?" Duo asked, putting up his hand after a minute of silence. "We can't really talk about the truth because we really don't know what the truth is, and we'd just start bickering back and forth endlessly until we up and started a fistfight or something. It would start out like this: Quatre would try to say something like, oh sorry, really it's all my fault we're in this situation, and then Trowa would say, no, it's not really your fault, and then Heero would say 'Hn', I would start to laugh, and Wufei would yell 'injustice!' for no reason. After that we'd end up calling in Relena just so she can prevent us from killing each other. What can be accomplished by playing that all out?"
The pilots stared at him.
Uh oh, Duo thought. He could see Wufei's eyes heating up.
"Duo—" Quatre began.
"You are—" Wufei growled.
"A tactless buffoon with all the brains of a brick!" An unexpected voice exclaimed. Hilde, dressed in fresh jeans and a navy top, walked purposefully into the room.
"Hilde!" Duo stood up. She brushed past him and gave him a look out of the corner of her eye.
"Sit down." Her voice allowed no room for protest.
Duo sat.
Hilde turned and faced all the pilots. She didn't go as far as to put her hands on her hips, but her whole tone and demeanor suggested that she was doing it verbally.
"First of all," she began, "We need to think about what we're discussing, and what sort of conclusion we want to make." The pilots all stared at her except for Wufei, who only gave her an irritated glance.
Quatre smiled at her and made a 'go ahead' gesture.
She nodded, her manner still businesslike. "We need to list the facts as we know them." She began counting on her fingers.
"Fact: She lied to us from the beginning
Fact: She did no direct action against us.
Fact: She put us in a lot of danger.
Fact: She kept us in dark when we really needed to know information about the hybrids and stuff.
"Fact." She paused and let her gaze rove over them all. "Xiran Ki'Era is the same person as Six of Ten. The same one who protected Relena and myself, the same one who came through for Heero and Duo at the Center. Even though she lied, she is still the same person she was before, only with a little more history attached to the package. This I know for sure. Xiran is still Xiran, no matter what happened before."
With an almost inaudible sound Heero stood up and made for the door.
"I'm not saying we should forgive her." Hilde's voice cut across the room, her tone firm. Her eyes didn't leave Heero's turned back. "All I'm saying is that she's the same person. I know that in espionage and counter- intelligence you have to be able to hide yourself from other people. You all know that. But I know that when I talked with her, it was the real girl I was talking to."
Wufei, silent throughout her summary, said darkly, "You know you can't be entirely sure of that."
He passed his dark gaze over the rest of the pilots. "What I saw in her sometimes seemed to be the real thing, yes, but in her also is the instincts of a predator, and those are what make her untrustworthy. You've all seen it. When she fights she is forced to let some of her true self show through." The pilots were silent as Wufei's gaze traveled over them. "A cat has no loyalties to anyone, and at any moment that serves it best, it could tear out your throat."
Duo felt his eyes narrow at Wufei's cold statements, but he knew that part what he said, however harsh, was true.
[Xiran]
"At least I don't have to look into Heero's eyes anymore…" Xiran said softly to the shadows.
The sound of her voice fell upon the silence and was smothered by the darkness. She stared at the floor between her feet. She wasn't thinking of them, not at all. She didn't care. They weren't meant to be a part of her life. The past few days… had only been stolen time.
Stolen time.
Xiran suddenly jerked against her bonds with all her strength. The ropes bit into her wrists but held.
She shook her head back and forth, holding back any sound that threatened to escape her.
Just as suddenly as her anger had come, it left her completely. She sagged back against the wall. She hung her head low, pressed her eyes shut.
"And now you've ruined it…you've ruined it all."
[Heero]
"No."
His voice was low. He didn't turn from his place at the door.
"She has loyalties all right. Whether or not they are to us is the question you should be asking."
He didn't wait for them to respond. He slipped on his jacket and moved to the door.
When his hand was halfway to the doorknob, it turned on its own. He froze.
From behind him, Duo said, "Heero—"
Someone knocked on the door.
The pilots stood quickly.
"The onna betrayed us." Wufei's voice was full of bitter certainty.
"Don't jump to conclusions," Quatre said.
"Quiet!" Hilde hissed.
Heero drew his gun and glanced back once at Duo, who nodded. In one swift motion Heero undid the lock and threw open the door.
"Well what a warm welcome," a familiar voice said, sounding bemused. "I missed you too." Blue eyes looked calmly down the barrel of Heero's gun. Not letting his surprise show, Heero lowered his weapon.
The person standing so casually in the hall was Sally Po.
As Sally, with her hair drawn back into a ponytail, stepped into the room, he saw Wufei stiffen. Heero shut the door and leaned against it, his face inscrutable. He watched as the normal pleasantries and greetings were exchanged.
Wufei's face had gone completely blank. As Sally was greeted by an exuberant Duo, who thought the whole situation was rather amusing, Heero saw his jaw clench.
Wufei suddenly whirled and began to walk out of the room.
Sally stopped him. "Leaving so soon?" Her blue eyes were faintly questioning.
Wufei raised his eyes to her face. "Hello, Sally." He gave her a cool nod and left.
Sally stared after him for a moment, then turned away.
"Good to see I was missed." Her strong, beautiful face was as composed as ever.
Quatre only smiled at her. "What the heart knows isn't always what the mind thinks."
[Duo]
The sound of the door closing was anticlimactic in the given situation, but it was loud in Duo's ears. He didn't even have to turn around to know what had happened.
"Aw shit," he murmured to himself.
"What is it?" Hilde said quietly.
He suddenly swung around and gave her an exuberant hug. "Glad you're feeling alright, babe!"
Her eyes widened with surprise. Duo pressed his cheek to hers.
"Heero's gone but I'll be seeing him soon." His words were even and whispered right in her ear.
He felt her nod once.
"Out of here, you wretch!" She cried, throwing him off. "Go and get me some morphine and beer!"
"Ouch, no wonder you were so crusty today," he said in a teasing voice. "Should I get you some Tylenol 5 for menstrual too?"
With an outraged cry she threw a pillow, which he easily dodged.
"You better make that one up to me!" She yelled, waved a fist at him. He grinned impishly and scooted to the door.
"Be back soon!" He threw back over his shoulder at the remaining pilots. Then he was gone.
[Hilde]
"Is he like that ALL the time?" Sally wondered aloud, sounding wryly amused.
"Yep, sure is." Hilde grinned. "And I wouldn't want it any other way."
Her blue eyes met Sally's and her tone became more serious. "Here Sally, I'll bring you up to speed…"
[Duo]
"If I was a Heero, then where would I be?"
He stood on the street beneath the night sky. The buildings lining the street soared up into the darkness with modern ease, but they were nothing compared to the infinite expanse of the sky. Duo stared up at the stars shining faintly through the cloud cover and let out a long sigh. 'Heero, old buddy, what are you doing out here? Going for a midnight stroll is not usually in your agenda.'
He dug his hands in his pockets and pondered.
Nothing came. Ah well.
"Give me a sign!" He implored the quarter full moon. He waited.
Of course, nothing happened.
Duo shrugged good naturedly and began walking down the street towards the slums, passing through the yellow haze of the streetlights. Ahead of him the city glowed with its own dirty light. Duo smiled to himself wryly.
"Home sweet home…"
All of a sudden he noticed some overturned trashcans up ahead. He was approaching a stretch of deserted buildings and he guessed this was one of earth's many ganglands. Judging from the graffiti, there were multiple groups in this area. Duo smiled to himself and rubbed his knuckles, a dangerous glint in his eye.
"It's not MY fault I need to relieve some stress. If they just so happen to be beaten to a pulp in the process…well, no big loss there."
He followed the trashcan carnage to a broken set of windows. And then to some battered dumpsters. Mmm.
"An interesting trail of destruction," Duo said to himself. Looking about somewhat mournfully, he said, "Looked like fun, though." He passed by more evidence of vented anger. "Follow the yellow-brick road!" He sang, adding a little skip to his step. "Lalalalaa…."
He reached the top of a slight incline in the road.
He stopped and became motionless. Far up the street was a familiar figure. Heero stood beneath the harsh light of the streetlamps in a black jacket and jeans. Following him was a group of approximately twelve young men, armed to the teeth with crowbars and other blunt objects. Likely sharp objects too.
'All of a sudden this little stroll has gotten somewhat interesting,' Duo thought.
Heero knew they were there, knew it for sure. What was he waiting for?
The gang members, dressed in black and grey, began catcalling and yelling. They began to close in, like a smug pack of wolves.
'But this prey has got more bite than you think, my little friends. There's gonna be some serious damages done here tonight if you carry on with this. He's pissed off, and he's NEVER pissed off. This is gonna be one hell of a wild ride…'
Heero turned slowly and his icy gaze swept over them all. Then he calmly moved forward and fell into the darkness of a nearby alley.
The gang followed.
[Hilde]
"So…how bad is she?"
"What do you mean?" She looked at Sally quizzically.
"Well, she either feels bad about it or she doesn't. From what you've told me, she does have a conscience. So how is she feeling now?"
Hilde looked away. "I don't know. I haven't actually talked to her since I heard."
Sally's gaze was understanding. "She hurt you too." It wasn't really a question.
Hilde shrugged, "Yeah yeah, but it's not really important. The very idea of she's been through makes my flesh crawl. Whatever I feel pales in comparison. It doesn't matter. I'm okay."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes."
"Then why haven't you gone to see her?"
Hilde paused.
"Damn you for being so perceptive," she sighed.
"And…?"
"Fine fine, I'm going…but remember, you forced me into it."
Hilde stopped a foot away from the spare room door. She stared at it. Stared at the colour, the grain of the wood, the shininess of the doorknob. She even began to examine the doorjambs before she shook herself and sighed. She stood up straight, her eyes shifted and a hint of determination came into them.
She thought privately, 'Damn you Sally Po. I really don't want to be doing this right now. I want more time to sit and think…or just to let things sink in a little bit!' She let a breath out slowly through her teeth.
'But there's no time to waste with the hybrids running loose. And she is my friend.'
She reached a hand toward the knob, and as her hand closed on it, her mind whispered, a friend that betrayed you. Hilde gritted her teeth as her anger swept through her. Her hand closed hard on the knob, and she thought, 'I can't just ignore this! Dammit Xi you lied, you lied to me after I trusted you with no questions asked! I was the only one besides Duo who bothered—Stop it!' Hilde took a steady breath and shoved open the door, thinking, 'I have a goddamn right to be angry—'
She stopped.
Xiran was sitting on the single bed. She was facing the window. The shadow of her turned back pooled across the bed. The ropes that had bound her lay curled on the floor.
The door closed with a barely audible sound.
Hilde stood with her back to it, staring at the silent scene. Xiran was motionless, outlined in pale starlight from the nearby window.
'Aw Xi…'she thought.
Hilde sat down at the far edge of the bed. The bedsprings creaked noisily and then subsided.
They sat like that for a long time.
Finally Hilde said, "So…"
Xiran didn't respond.
Hilde tried again. "So…?"
She waited. Nothing happened. She faced the opposite wall, thinking of those few times Xiran had laughed. How long ago that seemed now.
Xiran's voice was very quiet. "…What are you expecting me to say?"
Hilde felt her temper flare within her, along with her heart. "Well…an apology would do for now, I suppose."
"…I'm sorry, Hilde."
"Don't give me crap," she said sharply, trying to hold herself back. "If you don't mean it just say so! I know you probably didn't mean to do this to us intentionally, but all the same you did! You—"
"It was." Her voice was flat.
"What?"
"It was intentional. I meant to lie to you, to anyone who asked me who I was."
"Then what the hell?" Hilde flared. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Maybe I did misjudge you—"
She suddenly stopped, a sudden understanding dawning on her.
In one swift movement she was on the other side of the bed, standing right in front of Xiran. She had a brief feeling of satisfaction to see the surprise in her eyes, but it did nothing to stop her hand.
The sound of the slap was sharp and loud.
"You're trying deliberately to push us away!" Hilde cried, glaring furiously. Xiran had one hand up to her face in surprise, her eyes for once clear of all shadows. She was genuinely shocked. Hilde didn't care. She shook her head back and forth, her eyes full of angry tears.
"You're pushing us away," She hissed at her. "You're doing it because you think it's best for us not to be involved with you. Isn't it true? I know it is! I see the look in your eyes, no matter how hard you try to hide it!" Xiran's dark eyes were still blankly shocked.
Hilde jabbed a finger at her. "Well who died and said you could tell us what to do? You have no right to make that decision for us! We all have our problems and we've been through bad shit but we just have to deal with it! You're just like Duo with hiding all his issues but you suck at it! We've gotten over other people's issues, but you didn't trust us your past with us and that's why we don't trust you! You may never have had anyore else to trust before but dammit you have us now and just deal with it!"
Xiran slowly dropped her hand from her face. An angry red mark was imprinted on the pale skin of her cheek. Her dark eyes flashed.
Finally, some anger, Hilde thought.
"I never…wanted this," She said in a hard, low voice.
"Wanted what? To be caught red handed? Would it have been okay it we hadn't found out?"
"No!" She said, her voice rising. "I only wanted to come to earth and save it and then--"
Xiran stopped. She didn't look up. Hilde's eyes softened.
"--maybe I could forget." Her voice was hardly more than a whisper.
Hilde sat down on the bed and took Xiran in her arms. She felt her stiffen at first, and then she went strangely limp. She said softly, "Xi, I'm still here. I always will be."
Hilde thought, she's just like Duo…oh the stupidity….I can't take too much more of this.
Finally she felt Xiran return the embrace, first tentatively and then with a fierceness that almost broke Hilde's heart.
"I didn't think…didn't want you to hate me," Xiran whispered into the dark. Hilde shook her head.
"Shh. It's okay, it's okay…"
After a time, Xiran said, "Will he…?"
"I don't know," Hilde said truthfully.
"I did my best to hurt him…"
"Yeah…" Hilde acknowledged. "I think Heero's a little irritated. But I'm sure he'll find some way to get over it."
[Duo]
'Shit shit shit! What is he DOING? Turning down dark alleys when there's an armed gang in your tail is generally NOT in the self-preservation handbook! Heero you idiot! Aw man, I really was hoping to avoid getting stabbed today!'
Duo broke into a silent run. The street was now empty; the gang and the Perfect Soldier had vanished into the maw of the alley. 'This is so definitely NOT cool!'
He came to the mouth of the alley just as Heero was slowly turning around to face the gathered pack of savages. Duo's mouth went dry. He cringed. 'Aw shit…'
Heero's eyes were the stuff of nightmares. The cobalt blue colour was fused with a menacing desire for violence, and the cold control of a trained killer. Heero casually completed his revolution and faced his pursuers, his stance belying the intensity of his gaze. The gang members, completely unfazed, drew out their weapons. Steel glittered in the darkness.
An icy smile shifted Heero's emotionless face. He drew out his black handgun with the slow confidence of an assassin. The faces of the gang members changed now, their expressions lengthening and distorting with fear. Duo stood frozen at the mouth of the alley, watching as his friend let the weapon dangle from his fingers. 'Heero…what are you doing?' He wanted to say it but couldn't.
Heero's eyes fixed suddenly on Duo's. Nothing registered on his face. He slowly took a firm grip on the gun.
Heero—Duo wanted to say. Don't—
In a sudden motion Heero emptied the magazine onto the ground and dropped the gun. He kicked it behind him.
In an instant Duo understood. But it was too late.
In a blur of motion the gang leapt at Heero and he turned to meet them head on. Duo thought, 'Heero, we've been through lots of scrapes together in the past, you know, being guerillas and occasional suicidal maniacs, but I've got to say that this has got to be the STUPIDEST thing you have EVER done!'
"You BAKA!" Duo bellowed. But he was already running forward.
He threw himself into the fray.
[Trowa]
"You knew didn't you?"
Quatre started in surprise. He turned and stared at him, his light eyes wide.
He had seen the look in Quatre's eyes as they had all stood there in the hall. Now Quatre could say nothing, but Trowa knew.
"And you didn't tell us?"
Quatre slowly shook his head.
"I promised her I wouldn't."
"Quatre sometimes you have to get your priorities straight. Someone could have gotten hurt."
"She wouldn't do anything to harm us."
"But the ones chasing her would."
"…I'm sorry, Trowa. But she needed someone to believe in her."
Trowa sighed. "Quatre, you never cease to amaze me." His green eyes were gentle.
Quatre smiled but shook his head. "I'm not always what you think me to be, Trowa."
Trowa turned slowly away, trying to rearrange his thoughts. But he kept seeing Xiran and Heero glaring at each other. "Some people hide themselves so completely that eventually they don't know who they are. They can become so lost that they even hurt those they care for the most…"
Quatre came up close behind him. He said softly, "Not you…"
[Heero]
He saw the young man's eyes widen as his fist made a hard connection with the underside of his jaw. Before the blood had a chance to spray out of his mouth Heero was turning away, meeting the charge of a second man. This one would have hit him-- if he'd remained standing in the same place.
Now he was in the air. He came down hard on the man's back. He barely had time to register the satisfying impact of the hit before a crowbar smashed into his ribs. His blue eyes flashed as he grabbed the end of it on its second swing and jammed the end into the guy's face.
Somewhere near him Duo was landing quick, snakelike punches on anyone who crossed him. The flash of a blade focused Heero's attention on a man with black hair. A smug, cocky looking bastard. The guy ran forward, blade slashing. Heero evaded the clumsy attack and tripped the guy on his face. Just as he paused to survey the damage a huge weight leaped on top of him.
Next to him Duo delivered a quick side kick followed by an uppercut to a man with iron knuckles. Duo, as always, was quick, vicious, and efficient.
But right now he didn't care.
The guy on top of him had a metal pipe in his hands, and was apparently trying to crush his throat with it. Heero reached back, got a good hold on him and threw him hard into the nearest wall. Heero heard someone coming up behind him, and turned just in time to avoid the first sloppy punch, but not the second.
The guy's meaty fist slammed into the side of his head with a force that should have dislodged his brain. Heero went down seeing bloody stars, and felt at least three people jump on top of him.
For the first time since he had dropped his gun a coherent thought registered in his brain: Relena was right. Relena was right all along.
With a sudden surge of raw rage Heero threw off one attacker, whirled, and smashed the nose of a man about to drive a foot into his balls. Heero's eyes were wide and strangely blank as he shoved the nearest guy into the wall and then drove his head into the bricks. Heero turned and delivered a full roundhouse kick flat in the face of a charging gang member. The man flew back and smashed heavily into one of his comrades. As Heero came towards them they feebly tried to get up and run. He closed in on them, seeing the naked fear in their faces. His blue eyes were cold and utterly merciless. He stopped about three feet from them. In a low, toneless voice he said, "Run. Run while you can."
They ran.
Heero turned and faced the remaining gang members.
He blankly wiped blood off his mouth.
He said, "Anyone else care to try?"
* * *
Duo was irritated.
"You are SUCH an idiot! What the hell was that!" He was yelling in his ear as they exited the alley and continued down the street. The gang had retreated back to its hole to lick its collective wounds, but Heero was still burning with anger.
He kept walking.
"I could have taken care of it myself."
"And this is all the thanks I get for helping you get your ass out of trouble! Aren't we feeling ungrateful today!"
Heero gave him a cool glance.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"Well yeah I would be—if I wasn't out here looking for YOU. I swear if Hilde finds any marks on my body she is going to ROAST your ass…"
"Yeah." He picked up his pace. Duo had to struggle to keep up.
"Hey! Don't block me out of this! Talk to me!"
'What the hell did he want, a group therapy session? Why wouldn't he go away?'
Duo's violet eyes flared angrily. He grabbed Heero's arm.
"Just because you're not in your bloody Gundam and you don't have a self destruct button doesn't mean you have to find new and interesting ways to kill yourself!"
Heero thought, 'that wasn't what I was trying to do. What the hell do you know?'
Duo suddenly stepped in front of him. Heero stopped.
"Listen to me." Duo's voice had gone low and firm.
"This may be the only sound advice I'll ever give you. You can rant and rave and throw things all you like, but in the end it only leads to more emotional constipation, and we all know you don't need any more of that. In the end…you have to talk to her. That's all there is to it. It's taken me almost a year to figure that one out. Talk to her, Heero!"
Heero felt his anger rise to choke him. He brushed past Duo without a backward glance.
"You're only hurting yourself you know!" Duo called. Heero didn't turn. He wasn't even listening.
'Never. I will never do that. There is no price on atonement.'
He walked away and vanished into the darkness of the night.
[Relena]
"Hello, is that you, Quatre? Can I please speak to Heero?"
"Well, he's not really in right now. Can I take a message? Is everything okay, Relena?"
"Oh. Yes, things are fine." She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She took a deep breath.
"Quatre, I have important news. The Preventers have cracked the copy of the hybrid disk. We have all the information we need to make a decisive move."
"We'll be ready for it."
Relena thought she heard a trace of pain in his voice. She thought, I'm so sorry, Quatre…
Then the thing that had been at the back of her mind ever since Lady Une had called her with the info came to the surface. "Quatre, will Xiran be a part of it?"
There was a slight pause.
"I don't know if Xiran's going to be joining us on this one…"
"Is she hurt?"
"No, she's not physically injured."
"Quatre, what's happened?"
She heard him sigh. She said, "Tell me everything."
So he did.
* * *
Six of Ten. Xiran was Six of Ten.
All of her suspicions had been confirmed.
Her heart burning, she said, "And Heero?" She almost didn't want to know the answer to her unspoken question. She held her breath, tried to be calm.
His slight hesitation said everything.
Relena gripped the phone, her fingers white.
She said, "I'll be over in the morning, with a copy of the disc."
"And then we'll begin something we thought we had ended."
"Yes." Relena closed her eyes and then opened them. "This will be AC 197, era of the United Earth Sphere—Mission One."
Then Quatre said the words she knew too well:
"Mission, accepted."
END
Well, I hope that was at least interesting. This chap was harder to write than most because of the deep emotions and meaningful dialogue. Ack, dialogue, dialogue, the bane of my writing existence. But anyway, any suggestions for scenes or battles for Mission One would be much appreciated! I know basically what's happening, but I still need to fill in a lot of plot holes. Anyway, thanks so much to Seeress, Ali, Athy, Meghanna Starsong, and Lady Ling Da for reviewing! It means so much to me! And here's a special thanks to Shinigami Concubine and Seeress for helping me with ideas! I couldn't have done it without you.
~Kywraith
Stealing my ideas will result in your quick and efficient disposal at the hands of my army of succubuses. So don't do it! Xiran, Saze, and Genesis are mine and mine alone. Anyway, on a side note, I apologize for not having any space fights yet. Gomen! I know I promised it at the end of my last chap, but it just didn't fit into the schedule. But be assured, the next chapter will have some hardcore Gundam battles AND a cliffhanger ending. MWAHAHAAA!!!
CHAPTER TEN: BITTER FLAMES
"Is it true?"
Duo's normally genial expression had sharpened, his violet eyes focusing intensely on her face. For the first time since she had met him she saw danger in his eyes, saw the side of him that called itself Shinigami.
All trace of laughter had vanished from his demeanor.
His question hung in the air between her and them, like a thread that was a connection to the person they thought she was.
Without looking at him, she knew just how cold and angry Heero's eyes would be. The others were silent, their faces not yet written with judgment. Only Wufei showed the fury moving beneath his face. It was in the burning of his dark eyes; the accusation of what he already knew to be true.
The girl who called herself Xiran Ki'Era let her unfeeling eyes rake over all of them, knowing that she was stepping to the edge of the precipice of her great lie. She stood there, feeling the question ring with finality upon the air. The eyes of the men in the room were closed to her, like those of strangers.
These men she faced here were the Gundam Pilots. She understood it fully for the first time, witnessing the full force of their battle personas. These were the warriors of peace, boys weaned on war and slim hope, grown into men. These were the ones who stood around her. These were the greatest weapons the United Earth Sphere possessed.
She took a breath, feeling the darkness of her lie yawn beneath her, she said, "Yes."
[Trowa]
So it was true.
Trowa's mind did several mental re-evaluations.
The fighting skills. The heightened senses. The familiarity with the enemy. The viciousness. It all fit together. Fit, yes, but seamlessly, no. As always, there were questions that needed to be asked of Xiran Ki'Era, but now she was Six of Ten as well, and who knew where her loyalties would lie.
Trowa stood at the back near Quatre. He had a full view of the events unfolding before him.
He thought to himself, 'The price of truth is always higher than the lie that spawned it. By now, she has learned that. But what it has taught her, and what it will mean, has yet to be seen.'
[Wufei]
Wufei thought, keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. I should have learned that by now. No one is really what they seem. Least of all friends like this lying onna who we let into our ranks with all the naiveté of fourth graders.
He looked at her, barely even bothering to hide his disdain. She would have looked the same as always, with her dark maroon hair caught up in a twist and her bangs falling in her sharp oval face--except for the look in her eyes. Colder than Wufei had ever seen them, they were the eyes of someone different, older, and with all the emotion of a predator on a dark night.
He refused to show her just how much she had fooled him with her façade. He stared back unflinchingly, thinking, A formidable fighter, yes, but a fool nontheless.
Xiran moved her eyes emotionlessly over them. To their silence and their unuttered question, she said:
"Yes, I am the hybrid numbered Six of Ten. My codename is Raven. I am of generation two, originally positioned at Facility Omega. My mission is to kill the Gundam Pilots."
Wufei clenched his teeth, feeling his temper flare. "Baka. Do you think I will even consider what you say now? All the words coming out of your mouth could be lies. What matters now is not what you said, or why, but simply that you lied. All the rest of it is meaningless next to that. There's nothing now that you can make me believe." He turned and stalked past the rest of them towards the door.
Her voice stopped him.
"Wufei Chang of the Dragon Clan. Positioned at colony Lagrange Point 5, pilot of Gundams Shenlong and Altron—"
Whirling on her, he replied, "Anyone could know that—"
"—marital status: widower." Her voice was so cold.
Wufei felt his face drain of colour.
"Codename: Nataku. She—"
"Stop it!" His voice was choked.
How dare she! How dare she! He started forward, only to be stopped by Trowa's calmly extended arm. Wufei shook him off furiously but stood his ground.
Xiran simply stared at him flatly.
The rest of the pilots said nothing.
Wufei could barely hold his anger in check. He seethed silently, long buried images of her rising in his mind. Her hair, the way it shone in the light. The way she kept her eyes narrowed when she was angry. Her fierce devotion to what she believed in. All those things he had noticed only at the end…
The images came then, he couldn't stop them: Nataku, fighting in her Gundam to protect the people in the colony.
Meiran, asking him her questions in the field of flowers.
And then Sally.
Wufei's teeth ground together. He became aware of the other pilots, who were watching him expressionlessly, and rearranged his face.
He raised his eyes once again to Xiran's, their depths calm and composed.
'For that, I will never forgive you.'
[Xiran]
Wufei was the first.
'That was cruel. You see what that did to him'.
She slowly and purposefully turned to face a pair of cobalt eyes. Heero was looking at her like she was the enemy. She thought very clearly, 'I don't care.' She opened her mouth.
"That's enough," Heero snapped.
He knew what she had been about to say.
His glare of ice pierced her, she wanted to turn away but didn't. Slowly she raised her arm and drew back her shirt, exposing her wrist. She said quietly, "If you want proof, all that you'll ever need is in here. In my blood. It's what they want."
[Quatre]
'I could have prevented this.'
Trowa, next to him said, very calmly, "If you are who you say you are, then what are your motivations now? Why haven't you killed us?"
Quatre watched her face. This was a person whom he would trust with his life, but not with a secret.
Her gaze only became frostier.
Heero said in a low voice, "You know all this information about us…but we know nothing of you. And we can't trust you to tell us the truth. Shall we begin calling you Six?"
His tone was surprisingly hard. Xiran's eyes flashed to him, flickering slightly.
"Arcon was the one who called me Xiran," she said. "Six of Ten is the number I was born with."
The pilots were silent. Heero's blue gaze was sharp and aggressive. Quatre could see the effort Xiran put forth to prevent her anger from showing.
"It doesn't matter what you call me. I am the same either way."
She threw one glance at Heero and continued, "I was created and raised in Facility Omega, as one of the ten second generations. I was trained for war, first by hybrid named 21. He was there at the Center, he's the leader of the squad that attacked us. But the man leading 21 is a hybrid named 57." Her dark eyes were starkly full of old hate, burning like gems, just like the night in the bar when Darus tried to hit her in the face. Her hand clenched unconsciously at the fabric of her pants.
"My mission to kill the pilots was simple. I would filter through their entire lives and know them like brothers, and then I would hunt them down. For this I had to learn everything about being in human society, to ensure that I wouldn't give myself away. This was the purpose of my existence, even though I had only one crucial part in the battle that Arcon was preparing for. But 57 and I…we played cruel games with each other."
She stopped. Her eyes were very cold. They all knew what had happened.
"Three and I had overheard a different plan for Genesis from several unknown hybrids. It told of a new time, and a great war. It was what lay beneath Arcon's original plan, for an outside force to enforce a full armistice on the colonies and earth. But we weren't devious enough to convince my commander that we were still ignorant." Quatre could see how much it cost her to remain indifferent while saying that.
"After that I made preparations to leave the facility and destroy all evidence of the Genesis project research. I made sure all my humanity was buried, lest he read my intentions. But that only infuriated him." She paused, her eyes briefly distant.
[Xiran]
1 'Don't think about him, don't think…'
You owe them the truth at least.
Then here it is.
"The one to tens were in a state of cellular breakdown. Their genomes would be unmappable in a short span of time. So 57 administered the final tests, the ones that would be a lethal test of the genetic information.
I wasn't fast enough to stop it. I came upon them in the middle of it. He was gone. But they were still living. So I put them out of their misery."
The silence was icy. The pilots did nothing but look at her. She knew that now, if they didn't trust her before, they surely didn't trust her now. She thought, 'but what does it matter? I have stolen their post war lives from them, just as I have stolen the ones of my comrades. And worse, I have lied to them…and myself.'
[Quatre]
'Oh Xiran. I'm sorry.
I could have prevented this!'
She continued, "I set in motion the plan Three and I had made. I left the facility in my gundam and detonated the research data. Once I came to earth I created a new identity and set about finding you.
I came to earth to stop this war."
There was a long silence.
"You said that before, Xiran," Trowa reminded her gently.
She looked at him. "It was Three's wish that the war be stopped."
"That's not good enough." It was Heero this time.
Her eyes flared. "I came back to earth because I wanted the war stopped…and because I will not let Arcon and 57 win this battle."
"Vengeance, then. But for what?"
She said nothing for a time. "For many things."
"That's not good enough." Again, the accusation. Heero had never been like this before.
"For me." She barely kept the snarl out of her voice. She regained her composure. "I want to make them pay. I want them to rue the day they made me. Isn't that reason enough?"
[Duo]
She wouldn't look at him for too long. Her eyes were downcast, her head bent.
His violet eyes were steady as he tied the rope around her wrist. She hadn't been able to look at him since they had come here. Only when he had volunteered to be the one to restrain her had her eyes fully come to rest on his. For a split second he's seen the anger and misery in her gaze, but then she had dropped her eyes and silently come with him.
She was as cooperative as a person resigned to their fate. Duo finished tying her left wrist and began on her right. The silence pressed down on his ears.
The pilots had made the decision to tie her up to the metal pipes in the spare room. They had thought it best that she remain stationary until they could figure out what to do. Duo thought…well he really was focusing rather hard on not thinking at this point. Well, that was partly because he knew that a part of himself was deeply angry and partly because he didn't want to vent until he knew the lowdown on the situation. What Xiran or Six, or whoever she was, had done…well she had her reasons. Whether they were good ones or not was what Duo had to figure out. I never thought she'd do anything to hurt us intentionally. What she did to Wufei…was completely unnecessary. I don't know if he'll ever forgive her. And Heero. I didn't think she'd ever hurt him like that. Duo almost didn't know what to think about her anymore.
Dammit, why wouldn't she look at him?
Xi, he thought, I—he bit his tongue. Be intelligent for once, he told himself. Look before you leap, or however that bloody saying goes.
Xiran's gaze flickered to him briefly and then away. She had seen his irritation, dammit. 'Ok calm yourself, Duo my man.
But don't I have a right to be angry? She lied to me!
Ok that's it, stop having conversations with yourself, Duo! That's definitely a sign of mental instability!
I--
Stop it!!'
Duo looked down at her again, his eyes hard. She was sitting with her back against the wall, her wrists bound up to the pipe just above her head, staring off into the shadows.
Suddenly he couldn't find it in himself to hate her. But for now, silence was the only thing he could give her.
[Xiran]
The silence had taken on the greyness of the shadows. She stared ahead, thinking, 'now is the time where you should be feeling something. Anything. There should be more than this…numbness, this stagnancy. This is what you were wishing for out there and now you have it. Is it worse or is it better, feeling nothing?
…I don't know.'
Duo had paused in the process of completing the last knot. He was standing above her wordlessly.
The shadows lay curled in the corners of the room. She watched them dully. The silence stretched on.
The shadows, like pieces of discarded night, seemed to lengthen. 'They have come back to get me, my demons. I never had monsters under my bed. My monsters were human.
Damned self-pity.'
She closed her eyes for a moment, ignoring the images that flashed by in the darkness. 'If you truly felt nothing, Xiran, then…'
Her eyes snapped open. Violet eyes stared back into hers. Duo was kneeling in front of her, his face not far from hers.
She had nothing to say. His gaze was unreadable. He slowly raised his hands and then with a hard pulling motion, tightened the last knot. It was tighter than it needed to be. And he knew that.
His anger and betrayal flared in his eyes for one second and then it passed. He stood up. At the door he threw one last glance her way. All the pain of his broken trust was in that glance, and it was the last thing she saw before the door closed.
Xiran closed her eyes again. In the dark her face shifted.
She thought, 'It's better…definitely better…'
[Quatre]
"I really don't think we should restrain her."
Wufei looked at him, his eyes dark. "We can't trust her to stay here."
"It might not help at all. It's likely she's able to get out of those bonds, with all her training, " Trowa commented.
"So you're saying she's telling the truth?" Wufei said sharply. His eyes flicked to Duo, who was just coming back into the room.
"Hey hey," Duo said, raising his hands in a gesture of peace, "Calm down, Wu-man. Don't worry about it. My knots are the best out there."
Wufei said nothing, but Quatre could see him bristle. This was not a good situation. He exchanged a glance with Trowa. His green eyes were cool. He nodded slightly.
"Come on, we better sit down and discuss this," Quatre said quietly. Duo obediently plopped himself down and Trowa followed suit, but Wufei remained standing, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Aren't you going to sit down, Wufei?"
"Not right now," He snapped. Quatre flinched. Trowa's green eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
"That's fine," Quatre said. Duo was looking around.
"Where's Heero?"
Trowa said calmly, "He's here."
Heero appeared out of the kitchen and sat down. His blue eyes were unreadable, but he was tense. Quatre could see by the hard way his face was that he was still deeply angry.
2 'Oh boy, this is going to be one hell of a meeting…'
[Duo]
"Well what are we supposed to discuss?" Duo asked, putting up his hand after a minute of silence. "We can't really talk about the truth because we really don't know what the truth is, and we'd just start bickering back and forth endlessly until we up and started a fistfight or something. It would start out like this: Quatre would try to say something like, oh sorry, really it's all my fault we're in this situation, and then Trowa would say, no, it's not really your fault, and then Heero would say 'Hn', I would start to laugh, and Wufei would yell 'injustice!' for no reason. After that we'd end up calling in Relena just so she can prevent us from killing each other. What can be accomplished by playing that all out?"
The pilots stared at him.
Uh oh, Duo thought. He could see Wufei's eyes heating up.
"Duo—" Quatre began.
"You are—" Wufei growled.
"A tactless buffoon with all the brains of a brick!" An unexpected voice exclaimed. Hilde, dressed in fresh jeans and a navy top, walked purposefully into the room.
"Hilde!" Duo stood up. She brushed past him and gave him a look out of the corner of her eye.
"Sit down." Her voice allowed no room for protest.
Duo sat.
Hilde turned and faced all the pilots. She didn't go as far as to put her hands on her hips, but her whole tone and demeanor suggested that she was doing it verbally.
"First of all," she began, "We need to think about what we're discussing, and what sort of conclusion we want to make." The pilots all stared at her except for Wufei, who only gave her an irritated glance.
Quatre smiled at her and made a 'go ahead' gesture.
She nodded, her manner still businesslike. "We need to list the facts as we know them." She began counting on her fingers.
"Fact: She lied to us from the beginning
Fact: She did no direct action against us.
Fact: She put us in a lot of danger.
Fact: She kept us in dark when we really needed to know information about the hybrids and stuff.
"Fact." She paused and let her gaze rove over them all. "Xiran Ki'Era is the same person as Six of Ten. The same one who protected Relena and myself, the same one who came through for Heero and Duo at the Center. Even though she lied, she is still the same person she was before, only with a little more history attached to the package. This I know for sure. Xiran is still Xiran, no matter what happened before."
With an almost inaudible sound Heero stood up and made for the door.
"I'm not saying we should forgive her." Hilde's voice cut across the room, her tone firm. Her eyes didn't leave Heero's turned back. "All I'm saying is that she's the same person. I know that in espionage and counter- intelligence you have to be able to hide yourself from other people. You all know that. But I know that when I talked with her, it was the real girl I was talking to."
Wufei, silent throughout her summary, said darkly, "You know you can't be entirely sure of that."
He passed his dark gaze over the rest of the pilots. "What I saw in her sometimes seemed to be the real thing, yes, but in her also is the instincts of a predator, and those are what make her untrustworthy. You've all seen it. When she fights she is forced to let some of her true self show through." The pilots were silent as Wufei's gaze traveled over them. "A cat has no loyalties to anyone, and at any moment that serves it best, it could tear out your throat."
Duo felt his eyes narrow at Wufei's cold statements, but he knew that part what he said, however harsh, was true.
[Xiran]
"At least I don't have to look into Heero's eyes anymore…" Xiran said softly to the shadows.
The sound of her voice fell upon the silence and was smothered by the darkness. She stared at the floor between her feet. She wasn't thinking of them, not at all. She didn't care. They weren't meant to be a part of her life. The past few days… had only been stolen time.
Stolen time.
Xiran suddenly jerked against her bonds with all her strength. The ropes bit into her wrists but held.
She shook her head back and forth, holding back any sound that threatened to escape her.
Just as suddenly as her anger had come, it left her completely. She sagged back against the wall. She hung her head low, pressed her eyes shut.
"And now you've ruined it…you've ruined it all."
[Heero]
"No."
His voice was low. He didn't turn from his place at the door.
"She has loyalties all right. Whether or not they are to us is the question you should be asking."
He didn't wait for them to respond. He slipped on his jacket and moved to the door.
When his hand was halfway to the doorknob, it turned on its own. He froze.
From behind him, Duo said, "Heero—"
Someone knocked on the door.
The pilots stood quickly.
"The onna betrayed us." Wufei's voice was full of bitter certainty.
"Don't jump to conclusions," Quatre said.
"Quiet!" Hilde hissed.
Heero drew his gun and glanced back once at Duo, who nodded. In one swift motion Heero undid the lock and threw open the door.
"Well what a warm welcome," a familiar voice said, sounding bemused. "I missed you too." Blue eyes looked calmly down the barrel of Heero's gun. Not letting his surprise show, Heero lowered his weapon.
The person standing so casually in the hall was Sally Po.
As Sally, with her hair drawn back into a ponytail, stepped into the room, he saw Wufei stiffen. Heero shut the door and leaned against it, his face inscrutable. He watched as the normal pleasantries and greetings were exchanged.
Wufei's face had gone completely blank. As Sally was greeted by an exuberant Duo, who thought the whole situation was rather amusing, Heero saw his jaw clench.
Wufei suddenly whirled and began to walk out of the room.
Sally stopped him. "Leaving so soon?" Her blue eyes were faintly questioning.
Wufei raised his eyes to her face. "Hello, Sally." He gave her a cool nod and left.
Sally stared after him for a moment, then turned away.
"Good to see I was missed." Her strong, beautiful face was as composed as ever.
Quatre only smiled at her. "What the heart knows isn't always what the mind thinks."
[Duo]
The sound of the door closing was anticlimactic in the given situation, but it was loud in Duo's ears. He didn't even have to turn around to know what had happened.
"Aw shit," he murmured to himself.
"What is it?" Hilde said quietly.
He suddenly swung around and gave her an exuberant hug. "Glad you're feeling alright, babe!"
Her eyes widened with surprise. Duo pressed his cheek to hers.
"Heero's gone but I'll be seeing him soon." His words were even and whispered right in her ear.
He felt her nod once.
"Out of here, you wretch!" She cried, throwing him off. "Go and get me some morphine and beer!"
"Ouch, no wonder you were so crusty today," he said in a teasing voice. "Should I get you some Tylenol 5 for menstrual too?"
With an outraged cry she threw a pillow, which he easily dodged.
"You better make that one up to me!" She yelled, waved a fist at him. He grinned impishly and scooted to the door.
"Be back soon!" He threw back over his shoulder at the remaining pilots. Then he was gone.
[Hilde]
"Is he like that ALL the time?" Sally wondered aloud, sounding wryly amused.
"Yep, sure is." Hilde grinned. "And I wouldn't want it any other way."
Her blue eyes met Sally's and her tone became more serious. "Here Sally, I'll bring you up to speed…"
[Duo]
"If I was a Heero, then where would I be?"
He stood on the street beneath the night sky. The buildings lining the street soared up into the darkness with modern ease, but they were nothing compared to the infinite expanse of the sky. Duo stared up at the stars shining faintly through the cloud cover and let out a long sigh. 'Heero, old buddy, what are you doing out here? Going for a midnight stroll is not usually in your agenda.'
He dug his hands in his pockets and pondered.
Nothing came. Ah well.
"Give me a sign!" He implored the quarter full moon. He waited.
Of course, nothing happened.
Duo shrugged good naturedly and began walking down the street towards the slums, passing through the yellow haze of the streetlights. Ahead of him the city glowed with its own dirty light. Duo smiled to himself wryly.
"Home sweet home…"
All of a sudden he noticed some overturned trashcans up ahead. He was approaching a stretch of deserted buildings and he guessed this was one of earth's many ganglands. Judging from the graffiti, there were multiple groups in this area. Duo smiled to himself and rubbed his knuckles, a dangerous glint in his eye.
"It's not MY fault I need to relieve some stress. If they just so happen to be beaten to a pulp in the process…well, no big loss there."
He followed the trashcan carnage to a broken set of windows. And then to some battered dumpsters. Mmm.
"An interesting trail of destruction," Duo said to himself. Looking about somewhat mournfully, he said, "Looked like fun, though." He passed by more evidence of vented anger. "Follow the yellow-brick road!" He sang, adding a little skip to his step. "Lalalalaa…."
He reached the top of a slight incline in the road.
He stopped and became motionless. Far up the street was a familiar figure. Heero stood beneath the harsh light of the streetlamps in a black jacket and jeans. Following him was a group of approximately twelve young men, armed to the teeth with crowbars and other blunt objects. Likely sharp objects too.
'All of a sudden this little stroll has gotten somewhat interesting,' Duo thought.
Heero knew they were there, knew it for sure. What was he waiting for?
The gang members, dressed in black and grey, began catcalling and yelling. They began to close in, like a smug pack of wolves.
'But this prey has got more bite than you think, my little friends. There's gonna be some serious damages done here tonight if you carry on with this. He's pissed off, and he's NEVER pissed off. This is gonna be one hell of a wild ride…'
Heero turned slowly and his icy gaze swept over them all. Then he calmly moved forward and fell into the darkness of a nearby alley.
The gang followed.
[Hilde]
"So…how bad is she?"
"What do you mean?" She looked at Sally quizzically.
"Well, she either feels bad about it or she doesn't. From what you've told me, she does have a conscience. So how is she feeling now?"
Hilde looked away. "I don't know. I haven't actually talked to her since I heard."
Sally's gaze was understanding. "She hurt you too." It wasn't really a question.
Hilde shrugged, "Yeah yeah, but it's not really important. The very idea of she's been through makes my flesh crawl. Whatever I feel pales in comparison. It doesn't matter. I'm okay."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes."
"Then why haven't you gone to see her?"
Hilde paused.
"Damn you for being so perceptive," she sighed.
"And…?"
"Fine fine, I'm going…but remember, you forced me into it."
Hilde stopped a foot away from the spare room door. She stared at it. Stared at the colour, the grain of the wood, the shininess of the doorknob. She even began to examine the doorjambs before she shook herself and sighed. She stood up straight, her eyes shifted and a hint of determination came into them.
She thought privately, 'Damn you Sally Po. I really don't want to be doing this right now. I want more time to sit and think…or just to let things sink in a little bit!' She let a breath out slowly through her teeth.
'But there's no time to waste with the hybrids running loose. And she is my friend.'
She reached a hand toward the knob, and as her hand closed on it, her mind whispered, a friend that betrayed you. Hilde gritted her teeth as her anger swept through her. Her hand closed hard on the knob, and she thought, 'I can't just ignore this! Dammit Xi you lied, you lied to me after I trusted you with no questions asked! I was the only one besides Duo who bothered—Stop it!' Hilde took a steady breath and shoved open the door, thinking, 'I have a goddamn right to be angry—'
She stopped.
Xiran was sitting on the single bed. She was facing the window. The shadow of her turned back pooled across the bed. The ropes that had bound her lay curled on the floor.
The door closed with a barely audible sound.
Hilde stood with her back to it, staring at the silent scene. Xiran was motionless, outlined in pale starlight from the nearby window.
'Aw Xi…'she thought.
Hilde sat down at the far edge of the bed. The bedsprings creaked noisily and then subsided.
They sat like that for a long time.
Finally Hilde said, "So…"
Xiran didn't respond.
Hilde tried again. "So…?"
She waited. Nothing happened. She faced the opposite wall, thinking of those few times Xiran had laughed. How long ago that seemed now.
Xiran's voice was very quiet. "…What are you expecting me to say?"
Hilde felt her temper flare within her, along with her heart. "Well…an apology would do for now, I suppose."
"…I'm sorry, Hilde."
"Don't give me crap," she said sharply, trying to hold herself back. "If you don't mean it just say so! I know you probably didn't mean to do this to us intentionally, but all the same you did! You—"
"It was." Her voice was flat.
"What?"
"It was intentional. I meant to lie to you, to anyone who asked me who I was."
"Then what the hell?" Hilde flared. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Maybe I did misjudge you—"
She suddenly stopped, a sudden understanding dawning on her.
In one swift movement she was on the other side of the bed, standing right in front of Xiran. She had a brief feeling of satisfaction to see the surprise in her eyes, but it did nothing to stop her hand.
The sound of the slap was sharp and loud.
"You're trying deliberately to push us away!" Hilde cried, glaring furiously. Xiran had one hand up to her face in surprise, her eyes for once clear of all shadows. She was genuinely shocked. Hilde didn't care. She shook her head back and forth, her eyes full of angry tears.
"You're pushing us away," She hissed at her. "You're doing it because you think it's best for us not to be involved with you. Isn't it true? I know it is! I see the look in your eyes, no matter how hard you try to hide it!" Xiran's dark eyes were still blankly shocked.
Hilde jabbed a finger at her. "Well who died and said you could tell us what to do? You have no right to make that decision for us! We all have our problems and we've been through bad shit but we just have to deal with it! You're just like Duo with hiding all his issues but you suck at it! We've gotten over other people's issues, but you didn't trust us your past with us and that's why we don't trust you! You may never have had anyore else to trust before but dammit you have us now and just deal with it!"
Xiran slowly dropped her hand from her face. An angry red mark was imprinted on the pale skin of her cheek. Her dark eyes flashed.
Finally, some anger, Hilde thought.
"I never…wanted this," She said in a hard, low voice.
"Wanted what? To be caught red handed? Would it have been okay it we hadn't found out?"
"No!" She said, her voice rising. "I only wanted to come to earth and save it and then--"
Xiran stopped. She didn't look up. Hilde's eyes softened.
"--maybe I could forget." Her voice was hardly more than a whisper.
Hilde sat down on the bed and took Xiran in her arms. She felt her stiffen at first, and then she went strangely limp. She said softly, "Xi, I'm still here. I always will be."
Hilde thought, she's just like Duo…oh the stupidity….I can't take too much more of this.
Finally she felt Xiran return the embrace, first tentatively and then with a fierceness that almost broke Hilde's heart.
"I didn't think…didn't want you to hate me," Xiran whispered into the dark. Hilde shook her head.
"Shh. It's okay, it's okay…"
After a time, Xiran said, "Will he…?"
"I don't know," Hilde said truthfully.
"I did my best to hurt him…"
"Yeah…" Hilde acknowledged. "I think Heero's a little irritated. But I'm sure he'll find some way to get over it."
[Duo]
'Shit shit shit! What is he DOING? Turning down dark alleys when there's an armed gang in your tail is generally NOT in the self-preservation handbook! Heero you idiot! Aw man, I really was hoping to avoid getting stabbed today!'
Duo broke into a silent run. The street was now empty; the gang and the Perfect Soldier had vanished into the maw of the alley. 'This is so definitely NOT cool!'
He came to the mouth of the alley just as Heero was slowly turning around to face the gathered pack of savages. Duo's mouth went dry. He cringed. 'Aw shit…'
Heero's eyes were the stuff of nightmares. The cobalt blue colour was fused with a menacing desire for violence, and the cold control of a trained killer. Heero casually completed his revolution and faced his pursuers, his stance belying the intensity of his gaze. The gang members, completely unfazed, drew out their weapons. Steel glittered in the darkness.
An icy smile shifted Heero's emotionless face. He drew out his black handgun with the slow confidence of an assassin. The faces of the gang members changed now, their expressions lengthening and distorting with fear. Duo stood frozen at the mouth of the alley, watching as his friend let the weapon dangle from his fingers. 'Heero…what are you doing?' He wanted to say it but couldn't.
Heero's eyes fixed suddenly on Duo's. Nothing registered on his face. He slowly took a firm grip on the gun.
Heero—Duo wanted to say. Don't—
In a sudden motion Heero emptied the magazine onto the ground and dropped the gun. He kicked it behind him.
In an instant Duo understood. But it was too late.
In a blur of motion the gang leapt at Heero and he turned to meet them head on. Duo thought, 'Heero, we've been through lots of scrapes together in the past, you know, being guerillas and occasional suicidal maniacs, but I've got to say that this has got to be the STUPIDEST thing you have EVER done!'
"You BAKA!" Duo bellowed. But he was already running forward.
He threw himself into the fray.
[Trowa]
"You knew didn't you?"
Quatre started in surprise. He turned and stared at him, his light eyes wide.
He had seen the look in Quatre's eyes as they had all stood there in the hall. Now Quatre could say nothing, but Trowa knew.
"And you didn't tell us?"
Quatre slowly shook his head.
"I promised her I wouldn't."
"Quatre sometimes you have to get your priorities straight. Someone could have gotten hurt."
"She wouldn't do anything to harm us."
"But the ones chasing her would."
"…I'm sorry, Trowa. But she needed someone to believe in her."
Trowa sighed. "Quatre, you never cease to amaze me." His green eyes were gentle.
Quatre smiled but shook his head. "I'm not always what you think me to be, Trowa."
Trowa turned slowly away, trying to rearrange his thoughts. But he kept seeing Xiran and Heero glaring at each other. "Some people hide themselves so completely that eventually they don't know who they are. They can become so lost that they even hurt those they care for the most…"
Quatre came up close behind him. He said softly, "Not you…"
[Heero]
He saw the young man's eyes widen as his fist made a hard connection with the underside of his jaw. Before the blood had a chance to spray out of his mouth Heero was turning away, meeting the charge of a second man. This one would have hit him-- if he'd remained standing in the same place.
Now he was in the air. He came down hard on the man's back. He barely had time to register the satisfying impact of the hit before a crowbar smashed into his ribs. His blue eyes flashed as he grabbed the end of it on its second swing and jammed the end into the guy's face.
Somewhere near him Duo was landing quick, snakelike punches on anyone who crossed him. The flash of a blade focused Heero's attention on a man with black hair. A smug, cocky looking bastard. The guy ran forward, blade slashing. Heero evaded the clumsy attack and tripped the guy on his face. Just as he paused to survey the damage a huge weight leaped on top of him.
Next to him Duo delivered a quick side kick followed by an uppercut to a man with iron knuckles. Duo, as always, was quick, vicious, and efficient.
But right now he didn't care.
The guy on top of him had a metal pipe in his hands, and was apparently trying to crush his throat with it. Heero reached back, got a good hold on him and threw him hard into the nearest wall. Heero heard someone coming up behind him, and turned just in time to avoid the first sloppy punch, but not the second.
The guy's meaty fist slammed into the side of his head with a force that should have dislodged his brain. Heero went down seeing bloody stars, and felt at least three people jump on top of him.
For the first time since he had dropped his gun a coherent thought registered in his brain: Relena was right. Relena was right all along.
With a sudden surge of raw rage Heero threw off one attacker, whirled, and smashed the nose of a man about to drive a foot into his balls. Heero's eyes were wide and strangely blank as he shoved the nearest guy into the wall and then drove his head into the bricks. Heero turned and delivered a full roundhouse kick flat in the face of a charging gang member. The man flew back and smashed heavily into one of his comrades. As Heero came towards them they feebly tried to get up and run. He closed in on them, seeing the naked fear in their faces. His blue eyes were cold and utterly merciless. He stopped about three feet from them. In a low, toneless voice he said, "Run. Run while you can."
They ran.
Heero turned and faced the remaining gang members.
He blankly wiped blood off his mouth.
He said, "Anyone else care to try?"
* * *
Duo was irritated.
"You are SUCH an idiot! What the hell was that!" He was yelling in his ear as they exited the alley and continued down the street. The gang had retreated back to its hole to lick its collective wounds, but Heero was still burning with anger.
He kept walking.
"I could have taken care of it myself."
"And this is all the thanks I get for helping you get your ass out of trouble! Aren't we feeling ungrateful today!"
Heero gave him a cool glance.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"Well yeah I would be—if I wasn't out here looking for YOU. I swear if Hilde finds any marks on my body she is going to ROAST your ass…"
"Yeah." He picked up his pace. Duo had to struggle to keep up.
"Hey! Don't block me out of this! Talk to me!"
'What the hell did he want, a group therapy session? Why wouldn't he go away?'
Duo's violet eyes flared angrily. He grabbed Heero's arm.
"Just because you're not in your bloody Gundam and you don't have a self destruct button doesn't mean you have to find new and interesting ways to kill yourself!"
Heero thought, 'that wasn't what I was trying to do. What the hell do you know?'
Duo suddenly stepped in front of him. Heero stopped.
"Listen to me." Duo's voice had gone low and firm.
"This may be the only sound advice I'll ever give you. You can rant and rave and throw things all you like, but in the end it only leads to more emotional constipation, and we all know you don't need any more of that. In the end…you have to talk to her. That's all there is to it. It's taken me almost a year to figure that one out. Talk to her, Heero!"
Heero felt his anger rise to choke him. He brushed past Duo without a backward glance.
"You're only hurting yourself you know!" Duo called. Heero didn't turn. He wasn't even listening.
'Never. I will never do that. There is no price on atonement.'
He walked away and vanished into the darkness of the night.
[Relena]
"Hello, is that you, Quatre? Can I please speak to Heero?"
"Well, he's not really in right now. Can I take a message? Is everything okay, Relena?"
"Oh. Yes, things are fine." She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She took a deep breath.
"Quatre, I have important news. The Preventers have cracked the copy of the hybrid disk. We have all the information we need to make a decisive move."
"We'll be ready for it."
Relena thought she heard a trace of pain in his voice. She thought, I'm so sorry, Quatre…
Then the thing that had been at the back of her mind ever since Lady Une had called her with the info came to the surface. "Quatre, will Xiran be a part of it?"
There was a slight pause.
"I don't know if Xiran's going to be joining us on this one…"
"Is she hurt?"
"No, she's not physically injured."
"Quatre, what's happened?"
She heard him sigh. She said, "Tell me everything."
So he did.
* * *
Six of Ten. Xiran was Six of Ten.
All of her suspicions had been confirmed.
Her heart burning, she said, "And Heero?" She almost didn't want to know the answer to her unspoken question. She held her breath, tried to be calm.
His slight hesitation said everything.
Relena gripped the phone, her fingers white.
She said, "I'll be over in the morning, with a copy of the disc."
"And then we'll begin something we thought we had ended."
"Yes." Relena closed her eyes and then opened them. "This will be AC 197, era of the United Earth Sphere—Mission One."
Then Quatre said the words she knew too well:
"Mission, accepted."
END
Well, I hope that was at least interesting. This chap was harder to write than most because of the deep emotions and meaningful dialogue. Ack, dialogue, dialogue, the bane of my writing existence. But anyway, any suggestions for scenes or battles for Mission One would be much appreciated! I know basically what's happening, but I still need to fill in a lot of plot holes. Anyway, thanks so much to Seeress, Ali, Athy, Meghanna Starsong, and Lady Ling Da for reviewing! It means so much to me! And here's a special thanks to Shinigami Concubine and Seeress for helping me with ideas! I couldn't have done it without you.
~Kywraith