Chisato threw her bags on the floor and collapsed onto her bed in anger. Ashton looked a little perturbed, but walked in and sat down on the chair next to her. They had decided on the way back that they'd stay with her in Salva, for the moment at least. Both of them were confused and angry, incapable of making real future decisions.
Even in that state, though, they basked in each other. Away from those that betrayed them, away from her, able to be together. Chisato reached out her hand and found Ashton's, and they stayed there silently for a short time, simply "being". Neither of them wanted differently.
"Ashton", Chisato said, breaking the silence, "I wanted to tell you...but I think you already know."
Ashton smiled. "That I do. And you know I want to say something to you, as well, but I'm sure that you know too."
"Of course", she said, smiling widely. Ashton stood and lay down next to her, resting near her. They realized that this was their utopia, their happiness. No one else could decide that for them. It was theirs to discover...and theirs to embrace.
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Chris walked slowly back to their tent. Celine looked up curiously.
"What did you find?" she asked.
He lifted a note he'd been carrying, passing it to her. He sighed, and crawled back through his tent, slowly putting away piles of clothes into his luggage. Celine wondered what he was doing, and then turned her attention to the note:
"To Celine and Chris:
Thank you for making this trip great, for your meals, for your friendship, for the talks, for the trips, for everything. We wish you the best, and don't plan on being alone very long, we plan on making trips to Cross to visit you two. We might even hold a special event there soon...we're still deciding. But just because we're leaving early, that doesn't give you the right to forget about us.
To Claude:
Thank you...for understanding, and for your words. Your warnings, your help...everything. Come visit us in Salva sometime, please. And if someone goes on a trip to someplace far away, we might visit you in Arlia.
To you, we offer our goodbyes. We just can't stay here, not another day. I'm sorry.
With love,
Ashton and Chisato."
Celine sat down on the ground. "Our trip is over, then."
Chris sat next to her, now finished with packing the luggage. "I suppose, friendships lost, special friendships made...it was inevitable. There wasn't anything we could do. All we can do is try to be friends with everyone, as they are all of our friends."
"What's that supposed to mean, Chris? Don't try to be philosophical. You don't make any sense." Celine stuck her tongue out, and Chris playfully nudged her.
"Well, we should go visit the others", Chris said.
Note in hand, Chris and Celine walked slowly down the hill towards their tent...and found nothing. An empty space. They had left too.
"I guess we should go then", Celine said, mournfully.
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Rena ran to the small room in her surrogate mothers house, crying onto her shoulder, telling the story of what had happened. Claude could hear her from outside, he didn't want to interrupt them or disturb them in this time.
He wasn't exactly sure what to do. He hadn't caused Ashton and Chisato and Rena to fight, or spy, or do anything. All he did was try to be a good boyfriend, lover, friend...and it still ended in -this-. Can I ever win?, he thought to himself.
Rena slowly walked out the door towards Claude and dug her head into his shoulder.
"We lost them, Rena", Claude said.
Rena looked up through tear-filled eyes.
"They were spying...they saw, us..."
"It was an accident. We were too-"
"No matter, Claude! I-..."
She cried. Hours later, still crying. In their small house, Claude sat at his desk and wrote a letter explaining things to Chris and Celine. Or maybe they should visit. Claude didn't know, and for now he didn't care. He sealed the letter and let it sit on his desk.
He walked towards his room and sat down on the bed. She'd finally cried to sleep. He felt bad for her, but he knew she brought this upon herself. He only hoped the three would be friends again someday.
Her eyes opened. "Claude..."
"Yes, Rena?"
She sat up and kissed him. "I don't need them, Claude...I don't...but I need you...Claude, I love you..."
Claude looked deep into her eyes. "Rena..."
They stayed together till morning. Like Ashton and Chisato, they too understood their own Nirvana, their own Utopia. There is no common state. Through suffering, through pain, through loss, there is always a place to go, always a moment of peace. Once you find that place, there is no letting go, you'll stay there as long as you can...to find your own truth.
~
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