"So, no new disasters on the horizon? No evil prophecies or threats of apocalypse?" Buffy asked optimistically.
Giles shook his head. "Not even a whisper. It's very strange and discomfiting."
"Exactly," Willow agreed. "Makes you wonder when the other shoe is gonna drop."
"When it does, I bet Spike is behind it," Xander chimed in.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "When will you get off the anti-Spike kick? I never would have thought this even three months ago, but he's been pretty helpful lately. I'm beginning to think we can trust him."
"Um, well, that's part of the reason we're all there today, Buffy." Willow refused to meet her eyes, which was always a bad sign.
"What?" Buffy looked at Giles, who wore a guilty expression. "*What*? You're starting to worry me, here."
"We were talking about Spike the other day," Willow began. "You know, the other day when you just happened to be busy and couldn't make it? So, anyway, we got into the issue of trusting him. I agree with you that maybe we can, but then again, Giles and Xander think maybe we can't. So we came up with a compromise." Willow reached into her backpack and withdrew a vial filled with a clear liquid. "It's a truth potion, Buffy. It took a while but I found one that should work on a vampire. All you have to do is get Spike to drink it on the night of a new moon and he won't be able to lie to you. He won't realize what's going on at the time, either, so you can ask as many questions as you want until the effects wear off. It should last for a few hours. You'll know, once and for all, why he came to town, what his true motives are, and why you haven't been able to dust him."
Xander grinned. "Yeah, just think, it'll finally be over. Can you imagine how it will feel to be free of the specter of Spike hanging over us all, wondering when he plans to pounce? No more of that."
Buffy looked at the vial and back at her friends. "Spike helped save your life, Xander. And Willow's, and Anya's, and Oz's. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"Not really. I wanna know *why* he did it. I'm betting it was only to impress you for some sick reason. Not because he really cares. Once you give him what he wants, he'll turn on all of us. Deep in your heart, you know that's true. That's what Spike is all about--death and destruction and fear and pain. He's not some hero, you know. He's a vampire. A *soulless* vampire."
"Buffy," Willow interjected, "it's not like we're saying you definitely have to use the information against Spike immediately. You might even like what you find out, you know. Plus, it should be easy to get Spike to take the potion. All you have to do is empty it into a drink and he won't be able to see or smell it. I know this is a touchy subject because of what Parker did to you, but it won't hurt Spike in any way whatsoever. The only effect it will have is to make him unable to lie. That's all. No harm in that, right?"
"What are you more concerned about?" Xander jumped back in. "Your loyal, longtime friends, or an evil vampire who's come close to killing you more than once? Are you forgetting Parent-Teacher Night, or Halloween, or the time he kidnapped Willow and me to get the love spell? We all could have been dead probably a jillion times over if Spike had his way. Can you argue with my logic?"
No, honestly, Buffy couldn't. She'd told herself pretty much the same things, more than once, and they were all true. Of course, Spike claimed he was different now, but she had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth. Or rather, she'd had no way until now.
"Giles?" She turned to him. "What do you think?"
He cleared his throat. "I believe Willow and Xander both raise valid points. I understand Spike's recent actions have been fairly admirable, but your faith in him may well be misplaced. You have an opportunity to learn what he is truly thinking, and you would be remiss to pass it up. Also, I would like to point out that the new moon begins tonight."
Great, just what she'd thought he'd say. Buffy sighed and extended her hand. "Give me the potion. I'll take it, but I'm not guaranteeing I'll use it."
*****
She was due to meet Spike at around 7 at the Bronze. Buffy arrived 20 minutes early, trying to give herself enough time to reach a decision. On the one hand, all she had to do was feed Spike the potion, wait a few minutes for it to kick in, then ask pretty much any question she pleased and Spike would be unable to lie to her. Theoretically, it was a terrific idea. In practice, though, Buffy couldn't help feeling guilty, like she was betraying Spike. He seemed to trust her and she was seriously considering tricking him. Should she or shouldn't she? She couldn't seem to make up her mind no matter how much she thought about the matter.
"Spike!" Buffy started upon seeing him materialize beside her.
"Awfully jumpy, Slayer," he noted. "Something wrong?"
"Wrong? No, nothing besides the usual slayage and school and that sort of thing." Her fist clenched around the vial in her jacket pocket.
"Take your coat?" Spike offered.
"No!" Buffy nearly yelled. "I mean, no, I'm a little cold."
Spike raised a brow. The Bronze was its typical crowded, overheated self.
"Maybe I'm coming down with something," Buffy covered up. "I'd better keep it on for a while. To be safe." Well, actually, she wanted to keep hold of the vial in a well concealed place, but she could hardly tell Spike that.
He seemed to accept her lame explanation at face value, luckily, and started to sit down himself. Then he stopped. "Want a drink?"
"A Coke, please." Buffy blurted the first thing that came into her mind and immediately started thinking of ways to slip the potion into Spike's drink. Then she started thinking of reasons not to. Then she thought about the disappointment on her friends' faces if she told them she'd failed. They did have good reason to be insecure around Spike. She owed it to them to follow through on their request.
Buffy continued to wrestle with the situation while Spike was over at the bar. By the time he returned with the beverages, she had decided she definitely had to use the potion, for everyone's peace of mind. With that subject closed, she relaxed and tried to distract the vampire. "So, Spike, how are things with you outside of school? I mean, at home or whatever you call it."
What she was really asking about his lair, although in a relatively delicate way. Spike took a long swallow of his drink before replying. "Actually, I'm moving to a new place soon. Got my eye on a house out near Restfield Cemetery."
"Oh." Buffy couldn't help thinking about how Spike would probably go about procuring the house, and her hand again strayed to the vial.
"I've been investing," he announced in the next second. "Real estate and the like. Nothing dishonest about it, whatever you might be thinking."
"I wasn't thinking...." Buffy began, then admitted, "All right, so I was. How did you get the money to start investing in the first place, then?" Surely he had used underhanded means to begin building his nest egg.
"Gambling. Greyhound races," Spike informed her. "Minimum bet is $2. Bet the right dogs and you can make a tidy sum."
Another surprise. *If* Spike was telling the truth. Buffy kept running into that issue head on. "That poem you wrote today," she found herself saying. "That was about me. You wrote another poem about me before, after the party when Parker drugged me. Do you do that a lot?"
Spike shifted in his seat. "Well, what's a lot? Once, twice a day? Don't worry, I throw most of them away. They're not good enough for you. Neither was the one that bloody teacher read today."
"I thought it was nice," Buffy admitted.
Spike looked at her sharply. "You did?"
Buffy shrugged. "No one's ever written poetry about me before. But it would have still been nice even if someone else had." Spike looked pleased, which confused even more. He truly did seem sincere. Buffy took a deep breath. "Look, Spike, I'm going to ask you something and I want an honest answer. Why did you return to Sunnydale?"
He stared at her. "What d'you mean, why? It's fairly obvious, isn't it?"
"I want to hear you say it."
"Fine." Spike shook his head in apparent bemusement. "Guess it still hasn't quite sunk in, huh? I came back because of you. Because I'm in love with you."
Although she had more or less expected to hear those words, Buffy still flinched. Could she believe Spike? She opened her mouth. "I...." Closed it. She seemed to be beyond coherent speech.
"Think about it, Slayer," Spike continued. "Why else would I waste one second saving the hides of your irritating friends? Not for fun. Why else would I stop killing? Yeah, that's right, I haven't scored one death since coming back to Sunnyhell. Because of you."
Buffy honestly thought she saw sincerity in those soulless eyes, and that scared her more than anything else about the whole business. She jumped to her feet. "I want another drink. Do you want another drink? Cause I definitely do."
"I'll get them," Spike offered.
"No." Buffy waved at him to stay in his seat. "You got them last time. Let me do this. Is a Coke okay with you?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned and pushed her way up to the bar, where she placed the order. The drinks appeared in front of her moments later, too soon. She still hadn't decided.
Buffy glanced back toward the table. She couldn't see it through the throngs of people. Which meant Spike couldn't see her, either. She fingered the vial. It wouldn't be very difficult to pour the contents into the drink. It was a small vial and she could do it so quickly no one would notice.
If she did it, she'd be betraying Spike, a little voice inside her head reminded her.
If she didn't do it, she'd never know the truth for sure, another little voice responded.
Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, Buffy yanked the vial out of her pocket and deposited the contents into Spike's drink.