Spike couldn't believe it. Buffy had pretended to be friendly and then betrayed him. What had he done to deserve that kind of treatment? Well, admittedly, he'd earnestly endeavored to kill her multiple times back when he still hated her, but that was all in the past. He had changed. He thought she'd realized that by now. But no, clearly not. She apparently didn't care about anything except tormenting him and permanently getting him out of her life.

He shook his head again, attempting to clear it, and his gaze fell on the empty glass in front of him. Buffy had insisted on getting him a drink. She hadn't even waited long enough to hear what kind he'd wanted; she'd just bolted away from the table to go fetch it. At the time, he'd assumed she was simply nervous. Now, he suspected a far more sinister reason. Buffy must have drugged his drink. The very thought that she would go that far, especially after her own disturbing experience with Parker Abrams, struck to Spike's heart. And he'd thought he had a chance with Buffy. He had been deluding himself all along.

"Well, now I know exactly where I stand, don't I," he snapped. Without waiting for an answer, Spike rose and swiped the table with his hand, sending it flying into the wall. With one final look at Buffy's shocked face, he turned and strode out of the Bronze. As he expected, Buffy made no move to follow him.

*****

Numbly, Buffy sat frozen in her chair, even though the table that had once stood in front of her was lying smashed against the wall. Around her, voices rose and startled exclamations echoed, but none of them registered in her brain. All she could think about was the betrayed expression on Spike's face. There was no doubt that he knew exactly what she had done.

When she had gathered her wits enough, she got up and slunk out of the Bronze, wishing she could take back the entire evening. Or at least rewind it to the point before she drugged Spike's drink. That was the moment the night took a decidedly disastrous turn. She should have listened to her conscience and not done it, no matter what Xander or Giles would have said.

And thinking of Xander and Giles, she had to report back to them and Willow. They were waiting at Giles' apartment to hear from her. Buffy was tempted to blow off the meeting, seeing that her emotional state wasn't the steadiest, but her friends would worry if she didn't show up. Likewise, if she phoned to say she wouldn't be showing up. She'd have to talk to them, keep the discussion short, and leave as soon as they'd let her.

Arriving on Giles' doorstep, Buffy took a deep breath, tapped once on the door, and pushed it open. The second she stepped inside the apartment, Xander spotted her.

"Buffy! What happened? We've been on pins and needles waiting to find out."

Giles and Willow hurried over from the direction of the kitchen.

"Do sit down," Giles urged.

"Here. By me." Willow led Buffy over to the couch and settled down beside her. "So? We've been dying to hear the news."

Oh." Actually, Buffy hadn't really considered what she should tell her friends. The entire truth, holding back no details? Or a carefully edited version, reporting only the facts and leaving out her feelings of guilt and doubt? She decided to start with the factual version. "I used the potion on Spike and it worked."

"Good, good," Giles applauded. "And what did you discover?"

"His feelings for me are genuine."

"Eww." Xander made a gagging sound. "So what I did *not* want to hear."

Buffy glared at him. "You would have preferred that Spike said he was using me for some sinister purpose instead of saying that he loved me?"

"Basically, yeah, but you make it sound like a crap reason."

"Maybe it is," she murmured.

"What was that?" Giles asked.

Buffy raised her voice. "Nothing. Anyway, Spike also said he isn't going around killing."

"Now, that *had* to be a lie," Xander complained. "In fact, it's doing cartwheels and screaming it's a lie right in front of me."

Buffy shook her head. "No lie. He drinks from people, but he stops before they die."

"Oh, and that makes it all right, then. Because everyone loves to be used as a drinking fountain."

"I didn't say that. I just said he hasn't been killing."

"Unusual," Giles mused, "but certainly possible. Do go on."

"Like, say, to the secret of Spike's invincibility?" Xander prodded. "We're all dying to hear it, and once we do, believe me, Spike will be dying for real. I'll be happy to stake him myself."

Buffy hesitated. Xander clearly wanted nothing more than to use the knowledge against Spike. He wouldn't just let the matter drop. Could she live with herself if she told Xander the truth and he went out and harmed Spike?

"Buffy?" Giles' concerned voice interrupted her thoughts. "Is something wrong? You did question Spike about his invulnerability?"

She had to offer an explanation or the gang would really start to wonder. "Yes, I did. He, um, he told me...." She stopped again. She couldn't do it. "He told me the invincibility came from a ritual he performed, and it's permanent. It can't be broken or retracted or whatever."

"Dammit!" Xander shouted.

"But Spike also said he has no intention of hurting any of us. Even you, Xander." Buffy looked pointedly at him.

Giles frowned. "Did he say anything else?"

"That's pretty much it. The effects of the potion didn't last as long as I expected. I thought it was supposed to go for a few hours, but I got maybe 10 minutes out of it."

Willow blushed. "I guess I must have measured the ingredients wrong or something. But it worked out anyway, right? I mean, you asked Spike all the important questions."

"Yeah, all the important questions."

Giles and Xander quizzed Buffy a bit more on the events of that night, but she couldn't relate any additional information. Except, of course, for the truth about the Gem of Amara, and she had no intention of passing on that knowledge to anyone else. Spike's safety hung in the balance.

When she grew tired of the repeated questioning, Buffy made a show of checking her watch. "Wow, look at the time. And I haven't even patrolled yet tonight. I'd better get on that right away."

Xander rose, too. "I have to go, too. I was supposed to meet Anya if things went all right here. Unless you need my help on patrol?"

"No, I can handle it," Buffy dismissed him.

Willow stopped her from leaving. "Mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, come on. I'd like the company."

They left Giles' place, with Xander going to see Anya while Willow and Buffy began checking out the nearest graveyard. After several moments of silence, Willow cleared her throat.

"Why so quiet, Buffy? Did something go wrong tonight?"

Buffy stopped walking. "Did something go wrong? I guess you could say that. I didn't want to trick Spike, but I felt like I had to so I could know the truth once and for all. At first it went okay. He was answering my questions and he didn't realize what I'd done. But then he came out of the trance or whatever and he looked at me and he *knew*. He was so upset."

"He didn't hit you or anything, did he?"

"No. He did push the table into the wall, but he didn't lay a finger on me. He looked like he was too disgusted to."

"Oh." Willow bit her lip. "I should tell you, the real reason I mixed up the potion for you wasn't so we could find out Spike's secrets for the safety of the group. It was so you could know if he was being honest about his feelings for you. I guess my plan backfired, huh?"

Buffy stared at her friend. "Willow, are you saying you're on Spike's side?"

"Kind of. I mean, now that you know he's sincere you can work things out, right?"

"Are you forgetting the fact that Spike's a vampire?"

Willow shrugged. "I figure since I'm dating a werewolf, I'm not in much of a position to judge. Besides, you could do way worse than Spike. Like Parker, for instance. Remember, Spike stopped killing because of you. He quit doing something that's part of his nature. That says a lot right there."

"Great, now I feel even worse." Buffy leaned against a tombstone and considered. "What should I do next?"

Willow offered, "You can either forget the whole thing and hope Spike leaves you alone from now on, or you can apologize to him next time you see him and pick up from there."

"Right. Thanks." They continued the patrol with Buffy deep in thought. The pervasive feeling of guilt ended up keeping her awake for a long time that night.