Dreams of Laughter.
By: agentgrrrl
Rated, G
9/29/02 - 11/02/02
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters from the X-files they belong CC, master of the confusing plot and story. I'm just delving in Alex Krycek's mind and dusting him off.
Spoilers for Terma and just to be safe most of 3rd through 8th season of the X-files... and while I'm fond of denial I'm also a horrible fixer-upper type of girl so Krycek has one arm in this fic. =0
Summary: Alex Krycek learns to breathe again.
Dreams of Laughter.
By: agentgrrrl (email: agentgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Pain was a harsh teacher and whenever Alex had laughed it hurt so he just learned to stop laughing. But sometimes he would laugh AT himself and that was all the pain he allowed.
He woke up with a jerk, instant and unsure of where he was. He opened his eyes and found himself lying on a hard cold floor. He couldn't remember what he'd done before he'd fallen asleep and that worried him. He pulled at his arm only to find it cuffed to the railing of the dim walkway he was lying on. Alex rolled slightly looking up to the dark open shaft around him. Shit, he hadn't gotten away and part of him was glad for the sleep that being caught afforded him but he didn't want to go with his body pressed against concrete. The room was cold and the lights had long gone out. The secrets were gone and now only the waste remained. He moved again just to make sure everything was still there and in the right place.
Alex turned his head and was able to look and focus at his arm. At least it was still attached. His prosthetic was missing but he still had his real arm. It wasn't true, that nightmare he had, the one where they had cut his other arm off and all he had were stumps.
The floor was rough under his cheek as he moved and he grabbed the chain of the cuffs that held his only arm to the railing. He pulled using just his arm to force himself to a sitting position and it hurt. He didn't think about why his legs didn't move. He didn't want to pass out.
He also didn't think about the pitch-blackness below the walkway. Alex wrapped his arm around the railing and tried to remember where he was. He didn't know and being upright caused stars to dance before his eyes.
He could be dead but that didn't explain the pain and the blood in his mouth, on his face. The pins and needles of the blood rushing back into his hand or the fact that Mulder was lying on the walkway in a sprawl of limbs. Alex looked again and even with the blood matted on his face he was sure it was Mulder. What was Mulder doing here?
"Mulder?"
He didn't stir and Alex was afraid that he hadn't even spoken the word aloud. He looked at the cuffs; they were real and had dug grooves into his skin. There was blood and scabbing and Alex wasn't sure... maybe he had been lying here for days. He rested his head against the metal and clenched his hand rubbing sensation into the fingers by curling them around the railing and it hurt, causing panic and relief. He waited, cradling his only hand and found his mind on hold. He needed his hand. It was all he had to keep himself alive. Panic was not unfamiliar but he needed to be in control and he had to remove the cuffs. He searched the sleeve of his jacket and pulled out the small piece of metal. He used his teeth to bend it and the buzz of metal on his teeth made his head hurt.
When he stopped with the metal between his teeth, he could hear it. They were still here and he didn't know how he could always tell but he hated the aliens and their meddling. He pulled the lock pick free and started to work on the cuff. His hand hurt and it didn't want to move. He worked on the cuff attached to the railing first since the person who'd cuffed him had put the cuffs on so the keyholes were facing away from his fingers. An awkward twist of his wrist and it took time to find the keyhole. His hand was trembling and the motion was difficult.
The sound of the cuff letting go was loud but Alex still had one to go and he needed to be free of the metal and it's buzz. He used the pick in his teeth for the cuff on his hand and it took twice as long as the first to remove. When the cuffs dropped off of his wrist he watched them fall away dropping between the railings to fall into the dark below.
Alex wasn't surprised that he didn't hear them land and he didn't care as he pulled himself along the hard ground over to Mulder.
Mulder didn't move when Alex touched his leg. He lay still and Alex let his fingers stay on Mulder's pants. The fabric of the suit was soft under his fingers. Alex hurt and his legs didn't want to work. He felt the hard concrete floor and didn't know if he should be happy that Mulder at least was still here or worried that he was so still. Alex's hand shook as he tried to pull back the fabric until he found skin. He felt the heartbeat and he was relieved that at least Mulder was still with him. He didn't think they'd make it out of this shaft but he was glad Mulder was still alive. He lay there just feeling Mulder's life and he wondered why he still had the sharp metallic taste of the lock pick between his teeth.
The hum was still there and Alex pulled back his hand surprised to find Mulder so warm and himself so cold. He touched his own neck and waited for awhile. He had to try again, over and over until he couldn't deny to himself the fact that he didn't have a pulse. He didn't want to think about that but he couldn't stop and something was wrong. It was then that he realized he wasn't breathing.
His stomach lurched and in slow motion he felt the walkway give way behind him and the platform shook. He watched Mulder slide and Alex grabbed for him. His hand was not fast enough and they were falling down the shaft in separate paths. Mulder never opened his eyes. He felt the impact of the platform as it hit the wall of the shaft, even though he was falling quickly away from it. The last thing he saw was the door at the end of the walkway fall out of sight as he plunged into the darkness and then he was falling forever. In the darkness and the humming got louder.
Death was a harsh teacher and Alex just laughed until it stopped hurting and he began to breathe again.
~~~~
By: agentgrrrl
Rated, G
9/29/02 - 11/02/02
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters from the X-files they belong CC, master of the confusing plot and story. I'm just delving in Alex Krycek's mind and dusting him off.
Spoilers for Terma and just to be safe most of 3rd through 8th season of the X-files... and while I'm fond of denial I'm also a horrible fixer-upper type of girl so Krycek has one arm in this fic. =0
Summary: Alex Krycek learns to breathe again.
By: agentgrrrl (email: agentgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Pain was a harsh teacher and whenever Alex had laughed it hurt so he just learned to stop laughing. But sometimes he would laugh AT himself and that was all the pain he allowed.
He woke up with a jerk, instant and unsure of where he was. He opened his eyes and found himself lying on a hard cold floor. He couldn't remember what he'd done before he'd fallen asleep and that worried him. He pulled at his arm only to find it cuffed to the railing of the dim walkway he was lying on. Alex rolled slightly looking up to the dark open shaft around him. Shit, he hadn't gotten away and part of him was glad for the sleep that being caught afforded him but he didn't want to go with his body pressed against concrete. The room was cold and the lights had long gone out. The secrets were gone and now only the waste remained. He moved again just to make sure everything was still there and in the right place.
Alex turned his head and was able to look and focus at his arm. At least it was still attached. His prosthetic was missing but he still had his real arm. It wasn't true, that nightmare he had, the one where they had cut his other arm off and all he had were stumps.
The floor was rough under his cheek as he moved and he grabbed the chain of the cuffs that held his only arm to the railing. He pulled using just his arm to force himself to a sitting position and it hurt. He didn't think about why his legs didn't move. He didn't want to pass out.
He also didn't think about the pitch-blackness below the walkway. Alex wrapped his arm around the railing and tried to remember where he was. He didn't know and being upright caused stars to dance before his eyes.
He could be dead but that didn't explain the pain and the blood in his mouth, on his face. The pins and needles of the blood rushing back into his hand or the fact that Mulder was lying on the walkway in a sprawl of limbs. Alex looked again and even with the blood matted on his face he was sure it was Mulder. What was Mulder doing here?
"Mulder?"
He didn't stir and Alex was afraid that he hadn't even spoken the word aloud. He looked at the cuffs; they were real and had dug grooves into his skin. There was blood and scabbing and Alex wasn't sure... maybe he had been lying here for days. He rested his head against the metal and clenched his hand rubbing sensation into the fingers by curling them around the railing and it hurt, causing panic and relief. He waited, cradling his only hand and found his mind on hold. He needed his hand. It was all he had to keep himself alive. Panic was not unfamiliar but he needed to be in control and he had to remove the cuffs. He searched the sleeve of his jacket and pulled out the small piece of metal. He used his teeth to bend it and the buzz of metal on his teeth made his head hurt.
When he stopped with the metal between his teeth, he could hear it. They were still here and he didn't know how he could always tell but he hated the aliens and their meddling. He pulled the lock pick free and started to work on the cuff. His hand hurt and it didn't want to move. He worked on the cuff attached to the railing first since the person who'd cuffed him had put the cuffs on so the keyholes were facing away from his fingers. An awkward twist of his wrist and it took time to find the keyhole. His hand was trembling and the motion was difficult.
The sound of the cuff letting go was loud but Alex still had one to go and he needed to be free of the metal and it's buzz. He used the pick in his teeth for the cuff on his hand and it took twice as long as the first to remove. When the cuffs dropped off of his wrist he watched them fall away dropping between the railings to fall into the dark below.
Alex wasn't surprised that he didn't hear them land and he didn't care as he pulled himself along the hard ground over to Mulder.
Mulder didn't move when Alex touched his leg. He lay still and Alex let his fingers stay on Mulder's pants. The fabric of the suit was soft under his fingers. Alex hurt and his legs didn't want to work. He felt the hard concrete floor and didn't know if he should be happy that Mulder at least was still here or worried that he was so still. Alex's hand shook as he tried to pull back the fabric until he found skin. He felt the heartbeat and he was relieved that at least Mulder was still with him. He didn't think they'd make it out of this shaft but he was glad Mulder was still alive. He lay there just feeling Mulder's life and he wondered why he still had the sharp metallic taste of the lock pick between his teeth.
The hum was still there and Alex pulled back his hand surprised to find Mulder so warm and himself so cold. He touched his own neck and waited for awhile. He had to try again, over and over until he couldn't deny to himself the fact that he didn't have a pulse. He didn't want to think about that but he couldn't stop and something was wrong. It was then that he realized he wasn't breathing.
His stomach lurched and in slow motion he felt the walkway give way behind him and the platform shook. He watched Mulder slide and Alex grabbed for him. His hand was not fast enough and they were falling down the shaft in separate paths. Mulder never opened his eyes. He felt the impact of the platform as it hit the wall of the shaft, even though he was falling quickly away from it. The last thing he saw was the door at the end of the walkway fall out of sight as he plunged into the darkness and then he was falling forever. In the darkness and the humming got louder.
Death was a harsh teacher and Alex just laughed until it stopped hurting and he began to breathe again.