Shrek -- Cardcaptor Style - Chapter Two - Lord Eli
Yay! I got three reviews, that's good, oh well. I hope you like this chapter as much as the last one!
In the last chapter Li met Keroberos, the Guardian beast of the seal of the clow cards {even though he had no idea what they were} Kero is now waiting outside as Li rests inside his house.
It was nighttime, and Li was just getting ready to eat his dinner, but something was missing, he had the food, his fire was going. Li looked at the door where Kero had been put outside. Li sighed, then took out his sword; he made a candle. Li took the candle over to the fire and lit it, and then he sat down and began to eat.
Kero watched from the windowsill that he was hanging on he sighed and jumped down. He walked over to the door then laid down.
Li ate contently, then as he was lifting his fork to his mouth he heard the door open. He sighed and put his fork down.
" I thought I told you to stay outside! " He said as he stood up and walked close to the door.
'' I am outside! " Kero protested as he jumped up at the window sill then landed on the ground.
Li heard some thing rummaging around at the table, he turned around and saw big shadows, he went over to the table, looked around it then under it. When he came back up he saw three white mice with canes and Black sunglasses on walking around on the table.
" Well gents, it's a far lot from the farm, but what choice do we have? " Asked the first one, then tripped over a rolling pin.
" It's not home, but we'll do just fine! " Said the second one knocking over a jar of olives.
'' What a lovely bed! " Said the third as he bounced on the loaf of bread Li was planning to eat.
" Gotcha ! " Li yelled, grabbing the third mouse.
But when Li opened his hand, nothing was there, the mouse was on Li's shoulder, it sniffed, his ear.
" I found some cheese! " He called then bit Li's ear.
Li flinched, then went after the mouse. It moved to the other side of his shoulder.
" Ugh! Awful stuff! '' The mouse said disgusted then hoped down towards the table.
It landed on the end of Li's spoon that was in a bowl of soup, causing the spoon to flick hot soup into Li's face.
" Ah! '' Li yelled wiping off the soup with his sleeve.
'' Is that you Gorder? '' The second mouse asked.
" How do you know? '' The third mouse asked.
" Enough! " Li yelled, grabbing the three mice by their tales. " What are you doing in my house? "
Li let go when something shoved him in the back, he looked behind her and saw a glass coffin with a dead girl in it [AKA. Snow White] at the end of the coffin were seven little men. [AKA. The seven dwarves] one of the dwarves waved sheepishly.
" Oh no no no no! Dead broad. Off the table! " Li said, turning around and shoving the coffin towards them.
'' Well where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken! " One of the said.
" Wha? '' Li asked confused.
Li ran to his room and pulled back the curtain, inside his bed was a wolf wearing a nightgown, he looked over at Li.
" What? " He asked.
Li grabbed the wolf by the back of his gown and carried him to the door. Meanwhile the dwarves had made themselves at home.
" I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying wizard! What do I have to do to get a little privacy '' Li asked, then tossed the wolf out the door. His eyes went wide when he saw what was in the swamp.
" Oh no! " he told himself.
Outside were hundreds fairy tale creatures. They were camping out in his swamp.
" Oh no! No! No! '' Li yelled as he dodged several incoming witches.
The witches landed and Li stood up.
" WHAT, ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP? " Li yelled.
All the fairy tale creatures fell silent. They gasped, a few fairies flew into a tent and some gnomes ran behind a log.
" Alright, get out! Get out now! All of you! Move it! Papaya! Papaya! '' Li yelled as he went to shoo away some of the creatures, but then a few fairies flew over his head. " Hey! "
Some of the creatures ran into his house.
" No no no no! Not there! " Li said running after them but got locked out of his own house.
Li looked back at all the creatures, Kero was at the front of them all. He looked around him.
" Hey don't look at me I didn't invite them! " Kero said
'' Well gosh! Nobody invited us! " Said a small puppet [AKA. Pinocchio]
" What? " Li asked.
" Well… we were forced to come here! " Pinocchio said.
" By who? " Li asked.
" Lord Eli! " Said a little pig nervously, then his tone changed into a sheepish one " He huffed and he puffed and … signed an eviction notice! "
" Okay! Fine! " Li said exasperatingly.
" Who knows where this, Eli guy is? " Li asked.
Kero looked around at the animals; this was his big chance to prove himself to the kid.
" Oh I do! I know where he is! " He said excitingly
" Does, anyone else, know where to find him? " Li asked hopefully.
Some of the creatures pointed to each other.
" Anyone at all? " Li continued to ask.
" Me! Me! " Kero said jumping up and down.
"Anyone! " Li asked hopefully.
"Oh me! Oh pick me! Oh I know! I know! Me! Me! " Kero said still jumping up and down.
" [Sighs] okay, fine! Attention all … fairy tale things… Do not get comfortable! Your welcome has officially worn out! In fact, I'm going to see this guy Eli right now! And get you all off my land and back where you came from! " Li announced
The creatures paused for a moment because they were afraid of Li, then they began to applaud and cheer. Li groaned, some birds flew along and dropped a cape of flowers on his back.
" No! " Li yelled as he shook off the cape.
" You! " Li said pointing to Kero "You're coming with me! "
'' All right now that's what I like to hear man! The kid and the guardian, two big stars off on a big world city adventure! I love it! " Kero said as some birds dropped a wreath of flowers on his head and he ran after Li that was already on his way.
" On the road again! Sing it with me Li! " Kero sang as Li grabbed a torch from a gnome " I just can't wait to get on the road again! "
" What did I say about singing? '' Li asked tearing off the wreath from Kero's head.
"Well can I whistle? " Kero asked
" No! "
" Well can I hum? "
" Alright1 " Li said and Kero hummed 'On the road again' as they walked into the night.
At Lord Eli's castle in the morning Eli's henchman Filonius was pouring milk into a glass as lord Eli walked down to the room he was in.
Lord Eli was a short but fairly good-looking young man. He had great power over his city Duloc and his kingdom.
Lord Eli came to the room where Filonius was, his guards stood to attention then he entered. Filonius was busy dunking a small fairy tale creature into the glass of milk. He dunked once then twice.
" That's enough! " Lord Eli said, " He's ready to talk! "
Filonius turned around holding the Gingerbread man. It coughed continuously. As it was placed in a cooking pan.
Lord Eli laughed evilly as he walked over to the table, but when he got there the table was up to his nose.
" Ahehem! " He huffed.
The table lowered to his waist length. He put his arms in front of him he was holding the Gingerbread man's legs. He had broken off his legs. He tapped them along the table like they were running along.
" Run run run as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'M THE GINDERBREAD MAN! " Eli said.
" You're a monster! " The Gingerbread man said.
" I'm a monster here you are! You and the rest of that fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world. NOW TELL ME, WHERE ARE THE OTHERS? " Lord Eli said as he tossed one leg at the Gingerbread man and crushed the other one.
" Eat me! " The Gingerbread man yelled then spat icing sugar at Eli's face; it hit him square in the cheek.
Eli wiped it off
" I've tried to be fare to you creatures now my patience has reached it's end! Tell me! Or I'll… " Lord Eli threatened then grabbed the Gingerbread man's buttons
" No not the buttons! Not the gumdrop buttons! " The Gingerbread man pleaded.
" Alright then, who's hiding them? " Lord Eli demanded shining a bright light on him
" Okay! " The Gingerbread man gave in as he sat up. " I'll tell you! "
" Do you know, the muffin man? " The Gingerbread man asked
" The muffin man? " Eli asked
" The muffin man! " The Gingerbread man repeated.
" Yes I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury lane? "
" Well, she's married to, the muffin man. "
" The muffin man?! " Eli asked not believing what he had just heard
" THE MUFFIN MAN! " The Gingerbread man repeated hysterically.
" She's married to the muffin man… " Eli thought how to use this information
Just then the Captain of the guards rushed in, Eli looked up.
" My Lord, we found it! " The Captain said
" Well then what are you waiting for? Bring it in! " Lord Eli said excited.
Two guards brought in something that was covered in cloth. The guards hung it up and tore off the cloth, it was a mirror. The guards stepped back over to where the Captain was and Lord Eli stepped forward. The glass in the mirror began to swirl and smoke, then the smoke took the form of a face.
The guards gasped.
" Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! " The Gingerbread man said amazed.
" Magic mirror…" Eli began in an enchanting voice.
" Don't tell him anything! ' The Ginger bread interrupted hysterically.
"Noooooo! " the gingerbread man wailed as Lord Eli tossed him into a box.
" Evening! " Eli said calmly walking over to the mirror casually.
" Mirror mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?" Eli asked, confident that he would get a good answer.
" Well, technically, you're not a king! " The mirror answered unsure of his answer.
" Uh Filonius. " Eli signaled.
Filonius held up a small mirror, then punched the glass causing it to shatter.
" You were saying? " Eli asked the mirror giving him a second chance.
" What I mean is, you're not a king YET! " The Mirror protested. " But, but you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess! "
" Go on. '' Eli told the mirror wanting more information.
The mirror laughed nervously.
" Soo… just, sit back and relax my lord. Because it's time for you! To meet today's eligible bacholorettes! And, heere they are! " The Mirror announced [like a TV show host]
The guards moved forward at bit.
" Bacholorette number one is a mentally abuse shut in from a kingdom far far away, she likes sushi and hot tubing, anytime! Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil stepsisters! Please welcome Cinderella! Bacholorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from a land of fancy, although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy! Just kiss her dead frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is! C'mon, give it up for, Snow white! And last but certainly not least, bacholorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off! She's a loaded pistol who likes pinya coladas and getting caught in the rain! Yours for the rescuing, Princess Sakura! " The mirror said.
A drum roll began; Lord Eli's guards began to shout out which one he should pick. The first guard called out number one, the second one called out number three, and the Captain called out number two.
" One? Two? Three? " Eli asked.
" Three! Pick number three my lord! " Filonius called out as he held up two fingers.
" Alright! Number three! " Lord Eli said holding up three fingers.
" Lord Eli, you've chosen, princess Sakura! " the mirror said showing a picture of the princess.
The guars and Filonius clapped.
" Princess, Sakura. She's perfect! " Eli said dreamily " Now all I have to do is find someone to…"
" But I should mention the little thing that happens at night… The mirror began.
" I'll do it! " Lord Eli said.
" Yes, but after sunset… " The mirror began again.
" Silence! I shall make this Princess Sakura my queen. And Duloc shall finally have, the perfect king! Captain assemble your finest men! Were going to have a tournament! " Lord Eli announced. -
Li and Kero arrived at the entrance to Duloc.
"That's it! That's it right there! That's Duloc! I told you I'd find it! " Kero said proud of himself.
''So, that must be Lord Eli's castle! " Li said looking up to the top of the castle.
" Uh huh that's the place! " Kero said.
" Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? Eh heh heh eh heh, nnnh " Li joked.
Kero didn't get it. Li began to walk away.
" Hey hey! Wait up Li! " Kero said as he ran after Li.
They came to the gateway; they saw a man with this huge mask off Eli's face on it. Li and Kero looked at each other in disgust.
" Hey! " Li called to the guy.
" Ahhh! " The man yelled then ran through the path made of blue velvet rope stands.
" Wait a second! Look I'm not going to zap you! I just.. I just.. " Li tried to say but the man kept yelling and going through the paths.
Li sighed, then walked right through the rows, knocking them all over. Kero followed. The man ran straight into the ticket booth. Li looked down at the man then at Kero. Li went through the ticket booth wheel. He had just gotten through it when he heard the wheel turn continuously, he looked behind him and saw Kero stuck in them. Kero pushed again, the wheel turned several times then he flew out and up then landed with a splat on the ground. He looked up at Li and laughed nervously. Li groaned then walked off.
The city of Duloc was deserted, and was dead silent.
" It's quiet." Li said.
They heard the squeak of a sign.
"Too quiet! " Li said.
They heard the gift shop sign squeak.
" Where is everyone? " Li asked.
Kero looked around.
" Hey look at this! " He said running over to a booth.
Kero pulled a lever that said ' pull this ' there was a click, Kero jumped behind Li. There was a ticking sound coming from the booth. The ticking went faster and faster like it was going to explode. Li lifted his arm, but when it seemed it was going to explode the doors opened and some strange music began to play. Inside were small little wooden figures.
" Welcome to Duloc such a perfect town! Here we have some rules let us lay them down! Don't make waves stay in line! And we'll get along fine Duloc is a perfect place! Shine your shoes wash your … Face! Duloc is! Duloc is! Duloc is a perfect PLACE! " The wooden figures sang.
Just then a flash came, and a picture of Li and Kero starring at the machine with these really weird expressions on their faces. And they were having the same expressions on after the picture came out.
" Wow! " Kero said amazed " Let's do that again! "
Kero ran over to the machine again.
" No no no no no no no! " Li said bending down and grabbing Kero by the tale. " No! "
Just then they heard a trumpet and someone announcing things. They walked over towards the music. Kero began to hum the music that the wooden people were singing to.
" Alright you're going the right way for a smart bottom! " Li said.
" Sorry about that! " Kero said.
" The winner of this tournament shall have the honor, no! The privilege! To go and rescue the lovely Princess Sakura from the fiery keep, of the dragon! " Lord Eli said as Li and Kero entered this big arena.
" If, for any reason, the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up shall take his place! And, so on and so forth! Some of you may die! But it's a sacrifice, I am willing to make! " Eli announced.
The trumpet sounded, and a man held up a sign that had ' applause ' written on it, so the audience applauded.
" Let the tournament begin! " Eli proclaimed.
Li and Kero walked straight into the centre of the ring.
'' What is that? " Eli asked, starring at Li.
The crowd gasped in fear.
" Ugh! It's hideous! " Eli yelled in disgust.
" Oh that's not very nice! " Li said looking back at Kero who nodded." It's just a flying bear! "
" Huh? " Kero asked.
" Indeed! " Eli said. " Knights! New plan! The one who kills the wizard, will be named Champion! Have at him! "
" Oh hey, now come on! Hang on now! " Li said as he back away from the knights.
Li bumped into a table with beer and cups on it. Kero went behind one of the huge barrels that were there and started to climb it. Li picked up one of the cups that were full of beer.
" Can't we just settle this over a pint? " He asked holding the cup up at them.
" Kill the beast! " a man from the audience, yelled as the knights still advanced.
" No? " Li asked.
"Alright then! " Li said then drank the beer, then sighed as he wiped his face with his sleeve. " Come on! "
Li quickly pulled out his sword and cut off the knob to one of the barrels, beer burst out of the barrel and onto the knight knocking them over. Li ran through the beer so the beer burst through even more. Kero mounted on top of the other barrel, and it started to roll forwards. There were two guards underneath it; the barrel squashed them into the ground as it rolled over them. More guards came out but Kero just ran most of them over. Li ran into a ring and began to fight with the remaining two guards the crowd booed. Kero jumped off the barrel and followed him. Li knocked the two guards over with his arms. He gave one a leg lock, then body slammed the same one again, and the other one raised his spear and went to stab Li in the back. The crowd gasped. Li quickly got up and grabbed the guard under the arm and held him firmly with his head. Kero had mounted onto one of the poles at one of the corners of the ring.
" Hey Li! Pick me! Pick me! " Kero called out.
Li smiled then walked over to Kero and Kero knocked the guard out with his tiny head. The crowd began to cheer.
" Ha! Hahahaha! Yeah! " Li laughed triumphantly as the crowd cheered him on.
Li jumped off one of the poles then onto the other guard's shoulders knocking him over.
" The chair! Give him the chair! " A woman yelled.
Li got a chair and hit the guard over the head. Eli shook his head.
" Alright! " a girl said to her friend.
Li pulled the guard's leg, then put him over his shoulder and spinned him continuously. After a while Li tossed the guard to the far corner of the ring and Kero kicked the guard in the head.
The crowd cheered like crazy. Li hopped out of the ring.
" Hohohohah! Whoa yeah! Hah! Hah! Thank you very much1 I' m here till Thursday! Shrediville! Hahaha! " Li laughed.
Eli thought about something then motioned for his other guards to come. About forty guards surrounded the roof of the ring. Each guard had a bow and arrows with him; they all pointed at Li.
" Shall I give the orders sir? " A guard beside Eli asked.
" No! I have a better idea! " Eli told him. " PEOPLE OF DULOC, I GIVE YOU, OUR CHANPION! "
The crowd cheered again.
" What? " Li asked confused.
" Congratulations wizard! You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest! " Eli said.
" Quest? I'm already on a quest! A quest to get my swamp back! " Li said.
" Your swamp? " Eli asked.
" Yeah! MY swamp! Where YOU dumped all those fairy tale creatures! " Li yelled.
"Indeed." Eli said as the crowd whispered. " All right wizard I'll make you a deal! Go on this quest for me and I'll give you, your swamp back! "
" Exactly the way it was? " Li asked.
" Down to the last slime covered toadstool! " Eli assured him.
" And the squatters? " Li asked.
" As good as gone! " Eli assured him.
Li looked up at the guards with the bow and arrows.
" What kind of quest? " he asked.
That's chapter two! Whew! I need to go outside and get some fresh air! The next chapter will be up soon; I just need a break! See ya! ~* ^_^ *~