History of a Hopeless Rambler: The Tale of Emilia

How did I get myself into this mess?

I really must ask myself that question more often. How did I get to be where I am now?

It all started quite some time ago, as one might expect, in Greenhill, which is where I grew up. As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a person of admiration and integrity. I wanted people to respect me, and to love me, and to need me. I wanted… visitors, people who would stop on by everyday, suitors (I'll admit it), and praises, and peace and comfort. I wanted everything the normal person wants, without the pain of life added in--or at least the pain of politics.

There are people who will say that it's possible to be born with those qualities, but I have to disagree. Respect and love aren't birthrights. You've got to earn these qualities yourself, through discipline and learning, and through experience. So, I lived my life for awhile, and tried to absorb everything I could. My past was a bit of a dark one--oh, now don't give me that look. It really was quite bright, but I was not. I was incredibly stupid when I was a child, so much so that to even think back on it now is an embarrassment. Let's give an example by saying that I often did… "special things" to get attention, and I'll leave it at that.

But, by some means, I was able to slowly crawl out of that annoying little pest of a child. God knows how I did it; the point is that I grew (and grew--I'm quite the tall lady), and matured slowly over time, but I'm a bit ashamed to say that I clung stubbornly to a piece of my childhood as I grew. I was a lazy bum, always wanting the good things yet rarely bothering to attain them. Sure, I worked every once in awhile, and if I put myself up to the task, I could become quite the workhorse. I will admit that I was the type who would do something for somebody if they asked me, or if I felt compelled to do it.

Yes… that's all in the past. My parents were both idiots, you know. They divorced when I was still fairly young (and stupid, yes, I'll say it), so I grew up in a broken and/or resentful home. My father… ha! If I held onto my adolescence, then he had an iron grip on it. Poor dope, he was, though I prayed such characteristics weren't genetic. I do believe that such--I'll say what it is--such idiocy was what propelled me into completely maturing into a sensible adult.

My mother, ha, it's hard to tell which of my parents was worse. I won't even get into her, but let's just say there's no resemblance whatsoever, not even in the looks department. I've been told I'm prettier than her and I must agree. I do believe it was through her… "issues" that led me to grow into a patient, understanding sort of woman, whose ear was always open and whose mouth usually closed during another person's speech. God knows I don't want to follow the same mistakes my folks did.

Ah, but my education… You know, my life was plagued with debt, apathy, carelessness, and secret ambition. Of course I had ambition--big dreams, perhaps, but did I fail to mention what I wanted in life? No? Well then, there you go! Or, at least, I wanted to make an impact. I wanted…… oh, to be recognized, and sought after, and needed. I needed to be needed, if you catch the drift. Good. It's hard to explain. Anyway, where was I? You wouldn't know by looking at me, but I'm a terrible rambler. Must come from my "creative" side…

I did want to work, honestly I did. No, really! Yes, sure, I did stay at home from time to time, doing what I could… chores, mostly. I really did work at home, when there was work to be done. Can't blame me for being lazy when there's nothing to do, eh?! Yes, well, as "hard" as I worked, I didn't have good luck finding a place that would pay me for my services. I'm… just… dreadful around other people. Ha, haha… My own childhood was filled with ignorance, yet when I socialize with other people, I cannot help but to be brought to attention by their… eh, base minds. Dreadful.

So, where was I to work? Nowhere temporary, oh God, no! That would just waste away, and I'd be back at home, reading again. Oh, but I did love to read. It's always fun to escape such banalities that "real" life has to offer, and dive in elsewhere where things are much more fantastic. I'm especially a fan of things much more fanciful than real life. The, ah, stranger it is, the better, I should say. Who needs "reality" when there are worlds out there so fantastic that only in dreams may their majesties be equaled!!

I'm boring you.

I told you, I get off track sometimes. Please, though, bear with me. I don't usually get the chance to hold an intelligent conversation. It seems… and I must sigh… but it seems as if life is filled with the moronic sort. Oh, they're mostly good people, they're just not very bright. I don't have a high faith in humanity, but there are times when I believe them to be generally good. No, no, I'm not optimistic at all. I'm actually quite the pessimist. Always good to look at things in a bad light. It makes everything else, outside of such a light, not so bad after all. Or whatever.

Haha, there I go, talking my mouth off again, and going off track. Where was I? Oh yes, my job. Yes, I was in need of money during a certain period of life, and an education. I wanted one badly--ha, can you imagine a person actually missing the opportunity to do homework? I was so bloody bored that I wanted to do homework. Well, to school, then, but how was I to pay for it all? I didn't have any money--well, not any to boast of--and I needed to write a few letters to the nearest college. Oh, I didn't worry about my own smarts. When I'm passionate enough about something, I can always excel.

Well, one very average day, I decided to get off my lazy bum and do something about my situation. Having a passion about reading, I could also write a rather good letter, and mailed it off post haste so I could be well prepared for the next semester at college (which was conveniently in Greenhill). I also got off that very same lazy bum a few seconds after writing such a letter (and doing chores around the house), and went for a walk around town to find a place that needed people to work. Being almost penniless, I decided… "Why not?", and applied.

AH, I remember now! That's how I got myself into this precarious position!

The blasted place I went to was the bloody library! Oh, don't get me wrong, I did love to read, and I loved books, and I was quite organized (really), and I wasn't going to be picky about who paid me. I just… didn't seem to be the librarian type at first (if you can even believe it). Yes, that's right, I never would have been able to see myself in that sort of situation, but… there I was, working in a library, and let me cut a long story short by saying that this is where I stayed until the present time.

Well, rather than ending my story there, I'll go on a bit and wrap up a few loose ends. I took a course in Literature at college, since that was one of my passions, and another class that dealt with technology, which I did seem to be good at. Anyway, with my job giving me support, I did eventually pay off those nasty bills that had been accumulating, and found myself a small little house to live in. My work at the library continued, so I guess you could say that many of my goals were reached. And all for the want of an after-school job! Ha! If anybody knew how long I've really been working here--ahem, nine years--they'd be quite amazed!

Okay, checklist. Admiration and integrity… well, there are always those silly admirers I have, but I wish more of them were men. Pity I myself am not a man; otherwise, I'd pursue those admirers and ask them out for a, eh, a date. Well, maybe a cup of tea or coffee will suffice with the crowd that I have now, but the point is, it's done. I wanted people to respect me, which I did get, and to need me, which I got. I got my visitors and the people who would stop on by everyday, and from time to time I would be praised for my work, and of course I had the peace and comfort of one who works in a place she enjoys.

Hahaha… but as for suitors and love, this is a tale all on its own, that has (sadly) yet to be written. Haha… twenty-nine years young and still single. People tell me that I'm very beautiful, and classy, and sophisticated (thanks to years of kicking my own butt into gear and putting my nose to the grindstone), but it amazes me that there are those people who can fall in love upon first sight and be married the next year, and they are only seventeen or so years old.

But I don't suppose I can do anything about it, except wonder and wait and wish. Thirty years is not old. According to my beliefs, I won't be classified as old until I'm 65. I plan on being young and spry and moderately attractive for years to come--grunt, and moderately single to boot. Ah, haha, but I am so desirable--blech, that's what I hear all the time. Shove it up your skirt and check something out of the library. I need a paycheck worse than I need my next cup of coffee.

Oh, how did I get myself into this mess?

I really must ask myself that question every so often.

The End

Closing comments: Well, what can I say? It's been a fun twenty-three chapters, but this is where the Suiko-stories end. Now, for my next trick, I'm going to write my third and final Fifteen Minutes saga, which will focus on two or more characters from either Suikoden game. Expect this one to be epic in proportions, since it'll show every character that I feel like I've forgotten to this point. Why have two or more? Well, there are some characters whose lives seem to intertwine with another's, such as Alen and Grenseal, the Six Imperial Generals, Anji's crew, the Tricksters, etc., and I can't put just one character up for such entries. I thank everybody for their patronage and for their audience, but most importantly, for their patience. Now, do me a favor, and go write about your favorite unknown character.