What a Broken Heart Can Bear

by AWluvvbug

**NEW NEW NEW Chapter 8** No your eyes don't decieve you I actually updated. The split realities continue...it's amazing what one little decision can have on life. After the events of Borrowed Time Adriann comes back to help.

8. Easy as Life

What A Broken Heart Can Bear Chapter 8: Easy As Life

~Well, as I'm sure you know, it's been far too long since the last time I updated this story, and for that I am truly sorry.  I hope you can forgive me?  But be forewarned, I'm not promising any quick updates for future chapters…I've got a lot going on that sadly put 'What a Broken Heart Can Bear' on  the back burner to some degree.  So, I wanna say thanks to everyone who has waited all this time for this new chapter…I really do appreciate your patients.  And Kat, thanks for the beta.

~So, if you have any complaints, questions, thoughts, or comments on the story, this chapter, why it took me so long…anything of the sort…feel free to e-mail me – mailto:luvvbug101@hotmail.com - or you can IM me on AIM –Awluvvbug.  I hope to hear from you. And please, remember to review.

~OK, I've been told that there's an encoding blooper at the end of Too Slow to Ride…I've tried to fix it, but it doesn't seem to be working.  It's fine when I pull it up on my PC, but when I get on ff.net it's all screwy…..sorry, I know it makes it a pain to read and follow, but I'm working on it. J

3 years later…

~*~Too Slow To Ride~*~

"They say time flies when you're having fun, but if you ask me time flies when you're not paying attention to it.  How else could 3 years have already gone by since I moved back in with Logan and beaten that God forsaken virus.  It seems like yesterday all that happened, but forever ago too.  So much has changed, but at the same time stayed the same.  Is it really possible that I'm almost 24 years old?  I know I'm not making much sense at the moment…but bear with me."

"Life tends to be unbelievably hectic sometimes, barely giving us all enough time to catch our breath.  So as you can imagine 'Dre/Logan Bonding Time' has taken a hit.  We usually see each other on the way out the door when we collide – literally.  It is nice to know though, that there is a bond between us that a chaotic schedule can't break.  We're best friends, with a deeper connection than most, probably because of our unique and intense history together.  No relationship of, any kind is remotely normal when a Manticore kid is involved, and Logan understands that. It's a bond of the soul that can never be truly broken - and we both know it.  That right there, is the greatest comfort I have ever known.  I can't put into words how grateful I am for that."

"Now Alec, well, he turned out to be more human that I gave him credit for.  Once I finally got the guts to actually go talk to him, I got a bit of a surprise.  Who would have guessed that Alec was in the same place that I was concerning our relationship.  I never imagined that Alec would have a heart, let alone a heart of gold.  He genuinely felt awful for everything he had done to Max and Logan, for treating Max the way he had in the beginning, for generally being an ass all the time.  All he really wanted was to be half the person that Max had become, and be the brother that I was hoping to find in him.  Seeing Alec as vulnerable as he was that night, telling me that he wondered if he had gotten out of Manticore in time to salvage that remaining shred of humanity they had tried to crush, made me see something in him that I had never noticed before, or didn't want to notice.  He was just as scared and lonely as I was. From that point on we started from scratch and built a relationship, making up for all the time that we had lost.  And before we knew it, it was like we grew up together and knew everything about each other.  Granted I have yet to tell him about being an X7, but I swear I will.  I just haven't found the right time yet.  And it's not exactly an easy subject.  What do you say?  'Oh by the way, I'm not really your sister – by blood anyway.  I used to be…but I'm not anymore.'  Yeah, that'd go over real well."

"Anyway, Logan and Max have stood the test of time thus far and are still going strong.  Actually, Logan proposed to Max just a few weeks ago.  He went all out; buying out a restaurant for a night so they could have it to themselves, covering every inch of the floor and tables in rose petals, their song playing in the background by a string quartet, and the whole place lit up by the soft glow of hundreds of candles.  It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen and I didn't even get to see the finished product.  But that's what happens when you offer to help your best friend propose to your sister; you get robbed of the full effect but you do get to hear both sides of the story afterwards, which is always a plus.  This time, the story wasn't as wonderful as I had hoped.  Max didn't say 'yes' to Logan's proposal, but she didn't say 'no' either.  She told him, that one day she would like nothing more than to become Mrs. Logan Cale, but right now she can't accept.  She wasn't ready.  There was too much going on with the transgenics that she felt responsible for and it wouldn't be fair to only give Logan part of her on their wedding day.  Max asked only for some time; time to get things in order, iron everything out with her family, and clear out her head so she could give Logan every piece of her.  To do anything else would be cruel.  Logan had given her so much, that it would just seem wrong to not give him back all that she could.  Of course, Logan was disappointed and a bit hurt, but he said understood and he loved her more for it.  Any other woman wouldn't have even thought that she could be robbing him from everything that she is.  He would wait for Max until the end of time if he had to and he made sure that  she knew that."

"But something's wrong, I can feel it.  Don't ask me what it is or when it's gonna go down – that I can't tell you because I don't know.  But what I do know is that every time I see them together, my gut ties itself in knots.  I just can't put my finger on what it is, and it is driving me crazy!  I feel like I'm walking around in a fog, not knowing where anything is, but I know something's out there just waiting for me to run into it.  Ever since the little man who flipped the 'psychic switch' decided to take a vacation, I've been left trying to cope with the severe lacking of gut feelings.  And on the rare occasion when the switch does flip, I have a hard time piecing it all together, due to lack of use.  Which just irritates me, and makes it harder to focus and figure everything out.  It's all one big vicious cycle, really.  One big vicious cycle that is getting really old, really fast.  I think that if I just knew what caused its deterioration I'd feel a lot better.  But I don't, so I can only assume – God knows how much I love doing that.  Wasn't I the girl that always said 'Assume nothing.'?  I guess I just burned out.  It would make sense…especially with the chaos that was going on back then, my head must have overloaded or something.  But, I still say Bling saved my life.  He made me relax, and take care of Adriann for a while – something I had never done.  Never underestimate the power of a tropical island."

"Anyhoo…enough about the past.  The long time joke between Max and Zack is actually coming to life.  Hard to believe, I know, but it's true.  You guessed it, the X5 Reunion!  Somehow Krit and Syl managed to contact each of the remaining x5s and arrange the fabled event. Too bad it's not gonna be all laughs and cheesy party games.  The main reason for the reunion is to discuss how to handle what's going on with the not so recent public discovery of transgenics, and the inevitable detection of the X-series and public panic when they learn that there are transgenics out there that look just like they do.  But getting the whole family together in one place is something that hasn't happened since the breakout and is definitely on all our minds, as are the siblings we've lost.  Max is especially excited about seeing everyone again, even though she tries to hide it.  But the eyes never lie.  After all this has been a dream of hers for 15 years or so.  She hasn't seen most of them since the night we broke out and Jace is bringing little Max with her.  Alec on the other hand is a nervous wreck.  He saw the way that Max and I reacted when we saw him, and he can safely assume that the reaction wouldn't be much different with the others.  They all know what had happened with Ben, and doesn't want to reopen barely healed wounds.  But what's bothering him the most, is how he was in a different unit with the rest of our twins and he won't be considered family, but an outsider.  I told him what I keep telling myself, that anyone who was created in a Manticore lab in a government issued test tube is a Manticore Kid.  And every scared, lonely, and lost Manticore Kid has a whole family of other Manticore Kids that feel the same way to lean on.  And just like any family, there are different parts; Instead of in-laws, grandchildren, aunts & uncles, cousins and so on, we have the different groups in the X-series, Cy-ops, Special-ops, we even have our own black sheep of the family with the Nomlies.  There is no reason that the others won't consider him family.  He said he never thought of that and that it made him feel better, but he's still worried about it."

"You're probably wondering why I'm not packing or at least getting ready…it's simple really.  Someone has to stay in Seattle while the reunion's going on.  None of us feel comfortable leaving the city 'unattended' considering the transgenic hot spot it has become.  So I volunteered to stay behind.  I will never admit this to anyone else, but a big reason I'm staying here is because I don't want to explain how I'm alive to everyone. And I definitely didn't want to tell them I'm actually an x-7.  Syl and Krit promised not to say anything about me to the others, Max and Alec did the same.  But, Alec doesn't know everything about me yet.  I'll tell him someday, just not now. The fewer people who know I'm alive the better. The less I have to deal with the morbid humor of Manticore the better.  So, I'll watch over the city I call home while Max and Alec were away.  Plus, there's an added bonus.  Me and Logan will finally get to have some quality time together.  When I told him I was gonna hang back while Max and Alec went to the reunion we decided to make up for lost time and watch as many movies, have as many talks, eat as much junk, and goof around as much as humanly possible in 48 hours…in other words – All nighter here we come!"

"Well Ben, I've gotta get going.  Max and Alec will be leaving soon and I want to make it back before they get to Logan's so I can say goodbye.  Sorry I haven't been around much lately…I didn't realize just how long it had been until I started talking.  I had a lot to fill you in on.  I'll do better with the visits from now on, I promise.  There's no way I'm gonna let this much time pass without coming to chat – 6 months is ridiculous.  And when I did stop by…they were rushed and brief.  Forgive me?  Thanks.  I miss you – soooo much Ben.  Alec is great and I love him to death, but he's not you - and I don't expect him to be.  I wish I could have both my brothers here with me.  I love you Ben, and I'll talk to you soon."  Adriann turned around and began to walk towards the edge of the large rock, but stopped and looked back out over the ocean.

"Hey, do me a favor…tell me that everything is fine.  Tell me that nothing bad is going to happen this weekend.  Tell me that this overwhelming feeling of dread that's settled in my gut is all in my head.  Tell me I'm wrong.  Ben, please tell me that for once in my life, my gut is wrong."

*-*

Throwing her jacket in the general direction of the chair, Adriann flopped down on her bed with a sigh of relief.  She had managed to make it back to Seattle before Max and Alec got to the penthouse.  Logan was in his office finishing an article he wrote for an Internet magazine, making sure that there weren't any last minute details that would haunt him all weekend.  He and Dre had had so little time together lately that he didn't want anything to get in the way of their weekend together, especially a stupid article.

Adriann heard Max and Alec enter the apartment, and Alec ask why she always picks the lock if Logan gave her a key.  Dre couldn't help chuckling. It was a valid question that they had all asked her at one point or another.

"Dre, you in there?" Alec called, from the opposite side of her bedroom door with a quiet knock.

"Yeah.  Come on in." She answered, rolling off the bed to pick her jacket up off the floor.

"We're gonna be heading out in a few minutes so I thought I'd come say 'bye'." Alec offered, his anxiety obvious to her.

"Alec," Adriann began, as she positioned herself in front of her brother, "stop worrying about this.  You'll be fine.  They aren't going to expect you to be Ben.  Sure, they might be a little bit shocked to see you, but that will pass.  Especially, now that we know we all have a twin out there thanks to Manticore." Adriann gently squeezed his shoulder, trying to reassure him.

"You don't." Alec reminded her sulkily.

"True.  But we both know that even Manticore can make mistakes, or get a surprise every now and then." Adriann conceded thoughtfully.  If anyone knew about the twins it would be Alec.  He is one of them and was in their unit.

"I still wish you were coming with us.  God knows I would feel better if you were there with me."  Alec muttered into her hair as he pulled Adriann into a hug.

"I know, but someone needs to stay here, incase something goes down while you're gone."

"I could stay…" Alec ventured.

"Oh no you don't.  You are not backing out now." Dre smiled at the defeated yet expectant look on his face.  "I'll be here when you get back and you can tell me everything that happened at the reunion.  Okay?"

"Okay."  Alec sighed, hoping that the next two days would go as smoothly as Adriann promised.  "I should probably get out there.  Don't wanna piss Max off by making her wait."

"Yeah.  Pissing Max off is hazardous to your health.  Come on." Adriann and Alec strolled out to the living room, his arm draped casually around her shoulders.  Max and Logan were standing inches apart in front of the couch saying their goodbyes, causing the knot in Adriann's gut to twist and tighten.

"Have fun Angel." Logan told her kissing her forehead.  "Tell Jace, Syl and Krit I said 'Hi'."

"I will." Max smiled.

"And –" Logan began.

"Be careful. I know…always am." Max said, finishing Logan's familiar phrase with a small smile.

"Are you ever going to get tired of saying that?" Adriann asked Logan, as she and Alec stopped beside him.

"No." Logan grinned.

"Didn't think so." Adriann smirked up at her roommate.  "Maxie, have a good time and don't try do it all yourself.  This is family, your all on the same team, you can trust them.  So don't put up all those walls again."

"I know. I won't." Max said stiffly.

"Okay. I had to say it. But really, have fun.  You've been waiting for this for 15 years, so make the most of it." Adriann smiled, taking a step forward to hug her sister, who barely hugged her back.  'What is this all about? I get pissy two word answers and better hugs from Lydecker.  What is her problem?'

"Take good care of my kid sister for me." Alec told Logan, as the two shook hands in a friendly farewell.

"You know I will." Logan replied, sincerity written in his eyes.

"Yeah, well we gotta jet." Max said shortly.  "I'll see ya in a few days.  Alec." Max turned towards the door, nearly barking the command for Alec to follow.

"I should probably go with her, cause I don't want to fear for my life the entire trip.  I'll see you soon." Alec kissed Dre's forehead, and trotted towards the open door to catch up with Max at the elevator.

"Bye. Love you too." Logan said, sarcastically a moment later.

"She was just…focused on the reunion.  She didn't mean to blow you off like that." Adriann told Logan, gently shutting the penthouse door.

"Yeah." Logan sighed, not believing it for a minute.

Adriann watched Logan carefully, slowly walking back towards him.  'Yeah, I don't believe it either.'  Hooking her arm with his, Adriann guided Logan to the couch.  "You know, if we're gonna have this big ole movie night extravaganza…this room is far too…uncomfortable."

"What?" Logan looked over at his best friend, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"We've got a lot of vegetating to do and as long as this room is so 'overly organized', I don't think we can get into the proper vegetative state." She explained, with a devious grin beginning to spread across her features.

"And what exactly do you have in mind to…uh…create the proper conditions?" Logan asked, playing along.

"You'll see." Adriann answered simply, her grin now ear to ear.

"I am officially scared.  I know that look.  Nothing good ever comes from that look." Logan laughed, and braced himself for whatever it was Adriann was planning.

**-**

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Logan scoffed, looking around at the room that used to be his living room.  Now it looked more like a linens display at Pier 1; blankets and pillows everywhere, completely covering the floor in a makeshift feather bed design.

"We'll be comfortable though won't we?" Adriann asked flopping back into the sea of pillows below her.

"Can't argue that." Logan shook his head.  His chairs had been pushed back behind the couch, which had been moved about  6 feet back itself, and the larger pillows were resting against it.  The coffee table wasn't even in the room, Dre had stuck it in the hallway for the time being – no one would be over there anyway; or at least that was Adriann's reasoning.  Everything was centered around the TV.

"No you can't.  So you put in the movie and I'll get the grub." Adriann bounced to her feet and quickly returned with their supply of junk food, dropping it in the middle of the room.

"I've really missed this." Logan mentioned, as Adriann snuggled up next to him in the mound of pillows.

"So have I.  How could we have let so much time go by without doing this?" Adriann asked, in disbelief.

"I don't know." Logan draped his arm around her shoulders possessively.  "But we've got all weekend to make up for it and get back on track."

"Yeah we do." Adriann agreed, happily biting off a chunk of a Twisler.  "So which movie is first?"

"You're just gonna have to wait and see now aren't you?"  Logan quipped.

"That is soooo not fair." Dre whined.

"It is perfectly fair, my dear.  You made me wait to see what you were gonna do to my living room, so I am making you wait to see what movie I put in." Logan suppressed a laugh as he pushed the play button on the remote.  He was gonna pay for this one, but it would be worth it.

*-*

The video began to play; a black screen accompanied by the soft roar of a crowd of people.

"Take off the lens cap you moron." A female voice laughed.

"I know, and I will.  Besides, I'm not recording yet, Max." Logan told her defensively.

"Then why is the little red light on?" Another female's voice asked.

"Because…" Logan stuttered, combing his brain for a reasonable reply.

"You're recording!" The two girls said in unison, bursting with laughter.

"Okay, okay…I surrender.  You were right," Suddenly the scene came into view, "I was wrong.  Lens cap off."  Max and Adriann continued to laugh at Logan's unfortunate error, who was currently hiding behind the camera.  The trio was sitting at a table in the middle of an unusually large crowd at Crash.  Everyone's attention seemed to be aimed at the 'stage', and it looked like the night's event was about to begin.

*-*

"Logan, tell me you didn't." Adriann begged, sitting up to glare at him.

"Okay.  I didn't." He repeated, his eyes giving away the truth.

"You told me the battery died." She accused, pointing at him with her half eaten Twisler.

"It did die.  Eventually." Logan smirked.  "Now be quiet.  I'm trying to watch a movie."

*-*

Turning the camera on himself, Logan unveiled his best impression of a talk show host, "So Adriann, are you the least bit nervous about your up coming performance?"

"Me?" She replied as Logan put the camera back on her.  "The psycho psychic girl who grew up in a twisted military school, broke out when she was 12, died, was re-born, had some screwy growing pains and coming of age issues, broke out again – but this time she looked like she was 12 but she was really 8, made it out into the world, lived her life in the shadows while looking out for her siblings – who all thought she was dead by the way, finally found her twin brother but she was too late cause he had lost his mind was killed for his own good by the time she got to him, busted her baby sister back out of their own personal Hell after she was captured and would have died if their C.O. and older brother hadn't sacrificed himself to save her life, brought her sister home, killed her other sister while trying to protect the injured one, nearly died again herself, after trying to take down the Hell – better known as Manticore - that she grew up in and everyone in it on her own,  but her boyfriend at the time took her on a tropical vacation once Manticore was ashes and saved her life, then ultimately broke up with the boyfriend because of irreconcilable differences and the fact he had found someone else and was engaged, and  fights a bad guy or two of some kind almost everyday, scared of a silly little Karaoke contest?" Adriann asked, all in one breath.

"Yeah, that would be the girl in question." Logan smiled.  "But you didn't answer my question.  Are you nervous?"

"Nervous? Nah…" Adriann waved her hand dismissively.  "I think petrified would be the word to best describe it."

*-*

"I swear to you Logan, if you recorded me…you will pay." Adriann threatened, momentarily taking her eyes off the screen to grab a handful of Twislers and send him an icy glare.

"You'll what?  Hit stop?" He laughed.

"No. I'll do this." With a quick flip of the wrist, Adriann snapped the Twisler on Logan's hand.

"OW!" Logan laughed, surprised at how much that hurt.

*-*

"The next contestant on our list is your friend and mine – Adriann.  Adriann?  Girl, you out there?" Mike called from the stage.

"I think that's your cue." Logan pointed out, zooming in on Adriann's paling face.

"You think?" Max asked, sarcastically.  "Dre, you'll be great.  So stop worrying.  You've done a lot tougher things than Karaoke in your life."

"Yeah, but there was never an audience and there was usually a life at stake." She gulped.

"Knock 'em dead." Logan told her, hugging her with his free arm.

"Just remember to look at us, not them." Max reminded her sister, while giving her a quick hug for luck.

*-*

"Oh my God…it did last long enough for you to tape it." Adriann gasped, as she watched herself take her place on the stage.

*-*

Adriann's hand shook as she reached out and took the microphone off the stand.

"I've never seen her like this." Logan whispered to Max, forgetting about the camcorder's microphone.

"Neither have I."

"I mean the girl takes on entire armies on her own and doesn't think twice about it.  But for a stupid little Karaoke contest –"

"That you bribed her into entering." Max interjected.

"Saying that I'd make her the chocolate dessert of her choice if she entered is not bribery." Logan answered.

"On what planet?" Max laughed.  "I think Mr. Cyber Journalist needs to invest in a dictionary."

Mid-way through Max's comment the upbeat music to Adriann's song began.  The crowd quickly recognized the familiar pre-pulse favorite and began to dance and sing along.

*-*

"I think I may need to kill you." Adriann muttered, flopping back into the pillows and covering her face.

"Oh come on…" Logan scoffed, removing her hands from her face.  "You weren't as awful as you would like to believe.  You did win the competition."

"I won because the majority of my competition was too drunk to know they were breathing." She whined, trying to get her hands away from Logan's grasp.

"No.  You won because you are an incredible singer.  The drunks only made that more evident.  Listen."

"I don't wanna."

"Tough." Logan smiled down at Adriann, making her watch the tape of her performance.

*-*

"Hit me with your best shot.  Come on!  Hit me with your best shot.  Hit me with your best shot.  Fire away!"  Adriann sang, interacting with the crowd like she had been performing all her life.

*-*

"I swear, as soon as I find out where your mom stored all of those embarrassing 'Baby-Logan-running-around-the-Christmas-Tree-naked' videos and pictures from all your awkward middle school dances…you're goin' down.  You hear me?  You are goin' down." Adriann explained, playfully pinning Logan's chest to the ground beneath her knee.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Yeah."

"Hit me with your best shot." Logan said, laughing hysterically.

"Jerk!" Adriann laughed, smacking Logan in the face with a nearby pillow.

"Hey!" Logan blocked the second attack from Adriann with one arm, while searching in vain for a pillow of his own with the other.  "I surrender!  I surrender!  Granted, it was a little unfair."  Distracting Adriann with his 'white flag' decoy, Logan grabbed hold of the leg that was pinning his upper half to the ground and pulled it out from under Adriann and pushed her backwards.

"Punk!" Adriann squealed, as she was now pinned by Logan.

"A guy doesn't have a revved up girlfriend and best friend and not pick up a few things along the way."

"Really?"  Adriann asked.  "Then you should have seen this coming."

"Seen what com-"  Logan was quickly cut off as Adriann effortlessly flipped the situation so the odds were once again in her favor; Adriann sat comfortably on Logan's chest in an amusing yet effective pin.

"Seen that coming." Adriann said, triumphantly.  "I win."

*-*

"But Logan, it's only 9:45."Adriann whined sleepily.

"9:45PM. 36 hours after we started this watch till you drop movie night." Logan explained through a yawn.  The pair had watched 12 movies, had 4 pillow fights, 2 wrestling matches, eaten 9 bags of popcorn, 3 bags of chips 5 bags of Twislers and multiple forms of chocolate, poured their hearts out to each other on various subjects, and even danced under the stars on the roof.  Now, they lay on the pillow and blanket covered floor half asleep, as movie number 13 played.

"36 hours isn't that long." Adriann said, echoing his yawn.

"For us regular humans, 36 hours is a long time to go without sleep.  Plus, you started the yawning."

"Did not." She yawned, again.  "Why do you have to be so comfy?  You're like a…a…big comfy thing. "

"Big comfy thing? That's the best you can come up with?" Logan chuckled.

"Hey!" Adriann picked her head up off Logan's chest to see his face. "Don't mock the girl with a big comfy-thing deprived childhood."

"Can you ever forgive me oh bony one?" Logan smiled playfully, opening one eye.

"Sure, kick a girl when she's down." Adriann laughed, replacing her head in the crook of Logan's neck.  "Tease her for having a petite bone structure."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You say petite bone structure, I say bony butt.  Go to sleep." Logan toyed.  "Goodnight." He added, turning his head to the side to kiss her head.

"Goodnight." Adriann whispered. "Petite." She muttered, making sure to get the last word.

"Bony." Logan corrected, just loud enough for her to hear.  They both would have laughed at their persistence, if they hadn't already fallen asleep.

*-*

Max looked at the pair sound asleep in each others arms, tears filling her eyes.  She'd seen them like this a thousand times; they were best friends and had been for nearly four years.  This wasn't particularly uncommon for them.  But, if she didn't know any better, she would think that they were the ones involved.  But she did know better, didn't she?  'Logan…I was hoping that I was wrong.  But it appears that I was no where near as wrong as I had hoped.  It's bad enough that Logan did this to me…but Dre?  Why Adriann?  You're my sister, I trusted you with my life, the lives of the people I love, I trusted you with everything I hold dear…and you stab me in the back.  Why did you have to take Logan?  Never again will I let my guard down like that.  Never again.'

Swiping at the tears streaming down her face, Max set her jaw and rebuilt the walls that had taken years to tear down.  'Zack was right.  Emotions are only weakness, the perfect place for the enemy to attack and take down the soldier.  I am a soldier, the perfect soldier.  Love – what a crock.'  Abruptly turning on her heal, Max stalked out of the penthouse and slammed the door behind her.

*-*

Adriann's eyes bolted open at the sudden sound.  'What was that?'  Her attention immediately going in the direction of the sound, Adriann tried to move without disturbing Logan's slumber.  Carefully removing Logan's arm from around her shoulders and laying it down across his chest, Adriann quietly rose to her feet.

"Dre?  What's wrong?"  Logan asked, half awake, the sudden loss of her body's warmth causing him to stir.

"Nothing.  Just getting a drink. Go back to sleep."  Adriann answered softly, her attention focused towards the door.  "I'll be right back."

"Okay."  Logan murmured, rolling over on his side.

Rounding the corner to the front door soundlessly and ready to strike, Adriann found herself facing only a pair of sneakers and a door.  'Good Dre…scare yourself.  Sheesh.  Things have been a little tense on the public vs. transgenic front, but really.'  Shaking her head, Adriann walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water for herself.  'I would have sworn I heard the door or something.  I dunno.'  Sighing, Adriann walked back into the living room and sat on the back of the couch where she could see the city.  'The weekend is almost over and nothing tragic has happened…yet.  Yet.  Just try not to get yourself all worked up…there's no point in it.  Relax Dre.  Breathe.  Relax.  Everything will be fine.' Adriann looked back at Logan sound asleep and surrounded by pillows, his mere presence calming her nerves.  Looking back to the large window, Adriann noticed the subtle color and light emerging at the horizon.  'The sun will be up soon. And everything will be fine. God…I wish I could believe that.  More than anything I want to believe that.'  Adriann set her glass down on the floor and ran her hands through her hair with a soft sigh.  'But something's tying my gut in knots and caused dread to settle in my chest.  I just wish I knew what it was.  At least then I could do something to prevent it from happening or be prepared.  But of course…it's not that easy.  It's never easy.  All I know is something is gonna happen and it's not gonna be pretty.  I have never wanted to be more wrong about anything in my life.'

*-*

"Welcome to the land of the living." Adriann smiled, as Logan walked into the kitchen, his hair matted on one side and out of control on the other thanks to 'bed head'.

"Yeah." He grunted, still not fully awake.

"Coffee's in the pot, O.J.'s on the counter, waffles waiting for you in the oven."

"You cooked?" Logan asked, staring at her in awe.

"Yes, I cooked. " Adriann rolled her eyes, slightly insulted.  "Just because I choose not to cook on a regular basis doesn't mean that I can't."

"Uh-huh." Logan opened the oven door and took out the plate of warm waffles.  "They look normal enough."

"Because they are normal."

Logan took a fork out of the dish rack and began to poke at the stack of waffles in front of him.  Adriann closed the book she had been reading and leaned her elbows on the counter, watching Logan with an inquisitive stare.

"Oh will you just eat them." Adriann grumbled playfully, tired of watching her work be criticized.  She really couldn't complain, not when she does the same thing with Logan's baking.

"That depends." Logan said, looking at her over the top of his glasses.

"On…?"

"Whether or not they'll kill me." He smiled, sitting down on the stool across from her.

"I ate them and I'm still breathing." Adriann offered, with a grin.

"Yeah, but you're the super hero and I'm just the side-kick.  I'm more vulnerable." Logan pointed out, using his fork as a pointer.

"True.  But I guess you're just gonna have to risk it."

"Looks like I am."  Logan took a deep breath to brace himself, cut a bite sized piece of waffle and held it in front of him for a moment.

"Ahem." Adriann smiled, shaking her head at Logan's dramatics.  'You can be such a drama queen sometimes.'

"Sorry." Closing his eyes, Logan put the bite in his mouth, chewed and swallowed.  After a brief pause, Logan opened one eye cautiously.  "Am I still alive?"

"I dunno.  You tell me, Mr. Drama Queen." Adriann scoffed, as she rose to her feet.

"I think I am."

"Good to know.  Now, while you eat your breakfast like a good little wanna-be Soap-star…I'm gonna put your living room back together." Adriann told him, messing up his hair with her hands.

"Dre, you don't have to do that on your own." Logan said, through a mouthful of waffles.  "Wow.  These are really good."

"I'm the one who ripped it apart, so I'm the one who'll put it back together.  It's no biggie.  Besides, I'm getting antsy and I need to work off some of this energy.  And I know."  Adriann smiled, as she walked into what's supposed to be a living room.

"Logan, this place is a mess!  What in the world happened to your perfectly neat and organized living room?"

"I dunno." Logan called over his shoulder, as he set his glass and plate in the sink.  "There was this psycho girl here the other day and she tricked me into letting her rearrange my living room so it would be more 'comfortable' for an all nighter."

"Really?' Adriann asked, looking over at Logan who was standing just outside the kitchen.  "You should have thrown her out.  Cause, this –" Adriann motioned to the disaster that was a living room, "this is just ridiculous.  Inexcusable.  This is the work of a crazy person."

"And to think that crazy person is my roommate." Logan said, walking across the room, stepping over random pillows and blankets.

"You got another roommate and never told me!  Logie, I'm hurt…deep down." Adriann said, with as much sincerity she could muster without laughing.

"Dre…" Logan turned to face Adriann, and took hold of her shoulders, "you are that crazy roommate."

"Oh yeah.  I still can't believe you let me do this.  What were you thinking?" She laughed.

"I don't' think I was thinking." Logan said, laughing at the disaster that was his living room.

"I don't think you were either.  But, hey… I'll clean this up and put it back together in the perfectly organized Logan Cale fashion, and you'll take a shower.  Sound like a plan?"

"Yep.  Have fun." Logan said, messing her hair like she had done earlier, as he walked into his bedroom.

*-*

Later on that night Logan and Adriann were playing Scrabble while they waited for Max and Alec to get back from the X5 Reunion.  Both were eager to hear what had gone on and what if any decisions were made, but a part of them didn't want their time together to be invaded with the world's turmoil and end.  Would either one of them admit that sometimes they wished they could stay in their own little world and have no one but their best friend with them?  Of course not.  But don't think the thought didn't cross their minds every once and a while.

"Schlep is not a word!" Adriann said, pointing down at the Scrabble board.

"It is too." Logan argued.

"Well, yeah it's a word.  But you know as well as I do that you can't use a Yiddish word and actually expect it to count – it's slang.  And slang is illegal."

"Okay.  But what about your word; Yeoman?"

"Yeoman; As in Yeoman of the Guard.  A title given to English military officers, and also title characters in Gilbert & Sullivan's 'Yeoman of the Guard.'" Adriann recited, seamlessly.

"But it's a proper noun.  And you know as well as I do that you can't use a proper noun and actually expect it to count." Logan mimicked.  The two looked across the board at each other, neither willing to back down and remove their word.

"Damn." They sighed in defeat, simultaneously, and began to remove their word from the board.

"Hey." Max said flatly, walking out from the hallway.

"Maxie!  You're back." Adriann hugged her sister, receiving nothing but a cold stare in return.  'Okay…so you're still pissy.'  "Where's Alec?  Didn't he come back with you?"

"Crash."

"Oh." Adriann took a step back to sit down, carefully watching Max as the weight in her chest grew heavier and the knot in her stomach grew larger.  'No. No, no, no, no, no.  I want to be wrong.  Nothing is going to happen.  Max and Logan are going to be happy together for the rest of their lives.  Please…please…don't let whatever is about to happen, happen.'

"Max, hey." Logan said, happy to see her.  "How'd the reunion go?"

"Fine." She answered curtly, her cold eyes darting from Logan to Adriann.

"Are you okay?" He asked, remembering her similar behavior a few days ago.

"It depends."

"On what?" Logan asked, trying to keep his tempter in check.  This game Max was playing was beginning to try his patients.

"…When were you going to tell me that you've been screwing my sister?" Max asked, venom dripping from every word.

'Damn it!'

"What!" Adriann gasped, slowly rising to her feet. "Maxie, you can't actually believe that."

"What I can't believe, is that you would do this to me. After all we've been through." Max said, turning to look at Adriann, finding that she could no longer look at Logan.

"Max, I – we didn't do anything! I don't know who told that Logan and me were…but they were way off base.  I can't believe that you think I could do something like that."  Adriann turned frantically to Logan, her eyes begging him to speak.  "Logan, tell her she's wrong! God Logan, say something!"  Adriann ran her shaking hand through her hair.  'I don't know what to do.   I have to make her believe me.   Logan say something you moron!'

"Well, Logan's not denying it." Max looked Adriann in the eye with an icy glare.

"Max…there's nothing to deny.  You have to believe me." Adriann begged, tears filling her eyes.  "Please."

"How could you? Why? Why Logan?" Max whispered, her eyes momentarily showing the pain through the anger.

"Maxie…no…please believe me.  You're my sister, I would never do that to you."  Adriann pleaded reaching out for her sister's arm.

"Don't touch me!  And you are not my sister.  My sister died a long time ago."  Max pulled her arm out of Adriann's reach and turned on her heal, slamming the penthouse door behind her.

Adriann stared at the door for what seemed like for hours, unsure if what just happened was reality or a nightmare.  Slowly, she turned around, looking at Logan, who hadn't moved since Max made her accusation.  'This can't be happening.  It can't be.  Everything was going so good for all of us…we had the chance to be happy.   I'm dreaming…I have to be dreaming.  Wake up Dre.   Wake up!  Oh God…I am awake…this is real…This is b ad.  Really, really bad.'

"Why didn't you say anything?" Adriann asked him, her voice low and raw, a thousand different emotions coursing through her veins.  Logan just sat in silence with his head in his hands. "Why didn't you say anything?!" She screamed, sick of his unusual silence.

"I…I don't know." Logan muttered.

"You don't know?"  Adriann mocked.  "What the hell kind of bull is that? You don't know." She spat, her anger rising.

"I don't know, okay? I don't freaking know!"  Logan yelled back.

"Liar."  Adriann hissed, looking him directly in the eye before turning her back on him. 'You know damn well why you didn't. So how 'bout filling me in on it.'

Slowly and purposefully standing Logan walked up behind Adriann.  "Fine.  You want to know why I didn't say a damn thing?  You really want to know?  I'll tell you."  Adriann turned to face Logan, doing all she could to keep her temper in check.  "Maybe I should have just  gone ahead and done it, at least then Max would have something to be mad about.  But I wanted to make her hurt, like she made me.  And this seemed to be the perfect opportunity."  Logan admitted, coldly.

"You wanted to make her hurt…like she made you.  And screwing me  wouldn't have just made her accusations valid, but it would hurt her and even the score."  Adriann concluded, looking him dead in the eye to make sure she understood him correctly.  Never breaking the eye contact, Adriann pulled her arm back punched Logan with all she had.

"You selfish son of bitch!" Adriann screamed at him, as he lay on his back, holding a hand up to his broken and bleeding nose in shock.  All of his motives and reasoning flooded her mind, as the switch was flipped and all the gaps were filled.  "What the hell is wrong with you?!  What the hell were you thinking? God forbid your precious ego be damaged without some form of retaliation.  What were you thinking?!  Wait…don't answer that…I can do it for you.  You were thinking, 'How dare she turn down my marriage proposal?'  Well how dare you be such an ass and not remember the part where she said 'I can't marry you right now. Someday – yes, I'd love to, but I can't right now.  I'm not ready yet.'  You conveniently left that part out didn't you?  Well, I hope you're happy.  You did exactly what you wanted to…you hurt Max.  You crushed her.  You…broke…her…heart."

"I'd recommend staying right where you are, unless you wanna get knocked on your ass again."  Adriann growled, seeing Logan try to get on his feet.  "Because as shocked as I am about all of this, the thing that really hurts…is that you used me – our friendship –  to carry out your sadistic little scam on my sister.  That is a cruel, thoughtless, heartless, self-absorbed and awful thing to do to someone, let alone the people you claim to love.  How dare you say that I'm your best friend and you love me, then turn around and treat me like a cheap two-bit whore you picked up on the corner?  You are not the man that I thought you were.  You are not the man you claim to be.  And it makes me sick to think that it took me this long to figure out the truth about you.  I don't know if you had this planned, or you just got lucky…but it really doesn't matter all that much, because the end result it still the same."

"But what I don't get, is how you can do so much for people you have never met, and burn the people you've known for years.  You, Logan Cale, are a hypocrite.  Nothing more, everything less.  You make yourself out to be this incredible man; kind, generous, compassionate, selfless, that is until you don't get your way.  Then you don't give a damn who you hurt, or what you have to do to get it.  You'll trample anyone who gets in your way to get what you want.  And this time, you just screwed yourself over, in more ways than one.  Not only, will the 'great and powerful' Eyes Only never be the same, due to the fall of his alter ego, but you lost your girlfriend –  your love, and you lost your best friend.  And you wonder why you've been alone for the majority of your life…no real, deep relationships.  You're not willing to give yourself to anyone, the sacrifice is too great.  Because of that, you are not capable of truly loving someone unconditionally, with no strings attached. "

"No one uses me the way you did tonight, or even attempts to do that to my sister without a second thought and still has my respect.  Not Lydecker, not Manticore, not even you."  Adriann spun around and stalked towards her bedroom to pack her bags.

"I am soooo sick of all of this bullshit!" Logan shouted, climbing to his feet.

"Excuse me?" Adriann said, as she slowly turned to face him.

"You heard me.  I am sick of all this bullshit that you and your Manticore rejects brought with you.  I never had half the problems that I do now before you and the rest of your family showed up.  You all have no idea what it's like to actually feel any emotion, so how dare you tell me how to love.  You were made to be assassins…genetically engineered killing machines.  But instead of actually killing your targets, you take it one step farther and destroy any chance of happiness that they could ever have had.  In my book- that's worse.  And if you ask me, you're the hypocrite.  You're the one who doesn't want to tell Alec that you're actually an X7, not an X5."  He spat.

"Go ahead, blame this on Manticore, blame it on me, call me a hypocrite.  Turn this around so it's about me and my faults.  Anything to keep the focus off the fact that you have faults of your own, and that you're the one who screwed up here!  Not me."  She hissed in return.

"I never claimed to be perfect, Adriann.  I'm actually human, remember?  But unlike you, I don't waltz into people's lives and turn them upside down without their permission or a second thought.  And of all the people to try and 'fix' my life, that wasn't broken in the first place, you showed up – the last person in the world who should have."

"You don't butt into people's lives without their permission?  You've got to be kidding me?  What the hell do you think you do with Eyes Only?  You hack into people's lives and warn them about some great evil among us or the bad guy of the week that they don't give a damn about.   And then you try to make everything all better for the victims of whatever bad-guy you just took out.  How many of those people actually come looking for your help?"  Adriann glared at Logan, with no intention of backing down.

"Adriann, you are nothing more than one of Lydecker's broken toys.  You don't the meaning of what it is to be human, or what it is to be happy.  All you've ever been and all you ever will be is a manufactured killer; heartless, unfeeling, without a soul.  I wish you never showed up at my door 31/2 years ago.  I wish that you never came into my life Adriann – God knows that it would have been a hell of a lot easier, and probably more pleasant.  Why couldn't Lydecker have just let you die when you were supposed to?"

Adriann stood in shock, as she looked at the man before her who now looked like a stranger, reeling from his words.  Taking a deep breath and setting her jaw, Adriann swallowed past the tears that blurred her vision and choked out her voice as her resolve began to crumble.  'I will not let him see me cry.  I won't give him the satisfaction.  He's not worth my tears.  And he's not worth my time.'

"I don't know.  But I wish he did too."  Adriann said, so softly that it was barely audible.  Turning her back on him, she trotted into her room, quickly packed her bags, and blew out the front door, never looking back.  'Goodbye Logan Cale.'

*-*

You spend all your time waiting for that second chance,

For a break that would make it okay.

There's always some reason to feel not good enough,

And it's hard at the end of the day.

I need some distraction, Oh that beautiful release

It's memory seep from my veins

Let me be empty, oh and weightless and maybe,

I'll find some peace tonight.

*-*

Adriann didn't remember running down the stairs of Fogle Towers to the parking garage, or driving to Crash, but she must have because she there she sat at the bar, her untouched drink in hand. 
                "Are you sure you wanna drink that?" Mike asked, eyeing Adriann carefully.  "You never drink." "Yes Mike.  I'm sure.  And no, I don't drink, but I think today is a great day to start."  Adriann said, pouring her shot down her throat.  Squeezing her eyes shut, unaccustomed to the burning sensation of the liquor, Dre set the shot glass back on the bar.  "Gimmie another one Mike." "Adriann…" "Mike, I'm a paying customer just like the rest of the people here.  So give me my drink.  Actually, give me the whole damn bottle." Adriann said, slapping down a 20-dollar bill in front of him. "I don't think that's a very good idea.  You're not used to this much alcohol, your tolerance is pretty low."  Mike tried to reason with her. "Give me the bottle of Vodka." She ordered, separating each word and leaning forward on the bar. "Don't say I didn't warn you." Mike said, setting the half empty bottle in front of her and putting her 20 in the cash drawer. "Thank you." Adriann pulled to top off of the bottle and took a swig. "Your concern is noted." Mike shook his head sadly and continued to serve with his other customers.  He didn't know what had happened to make Adriann act like this, but whatever it was, it wasn't good.
                'Awww, Mike that's so sweet…you're worried about me.   But tonight, nobody could talk me out of drowning the  past few hours in this bottle.  Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and drown the past few years too.  Oddly enough,  I actually like the feeling of it.  The burning…it lets me know that I'm still alive, that I can still feel…something.  But  the great thing about Vodka, is that it can't break your heart,  and it can't tell you all the truths about yourself that you try to forget – cause Vodka can't talk.'
*-*

"I mean, who knew Hawaii wasn't under Florida?" The bubbly blonde giggled, as she snapped her gum for the hundredth time. "Yeah. Yeah…Who knew?" Alec said, his attention directed towards the bar.  'Dre's here?  Probably giving Max and Logan some quality time.  Or not…what's with the I don't give a damn about anything look?  And why is she drinking?  Forget just drinking, that  girl's slamming back what's left of the bottle.  That's not like her at all.  Maybe Max's bad mood spread?  Then again, maybe not.  What the hell's going on here?  I've got a chick with the IQ of road kill, and a sister who never drinks getting plastered?  Something is not right.  And if she keeps downing the Vodka like that, she'll be road kill.' "Uh - I've gotta go take care of something. So, I'll catch you later." He told the girl as he stepped away from the table and walked towards the bar. "Hey sis, whatcha doin?" Alec asked, sliding onto the stool beside Adriann and her half-empty bottle of Vodka. "Alec? Hi!" Adriann squealed, excitedly.  "What are you doing here?" "Same thing I always do here…waste time."  Alec told her. 'Ok, so pounding the liquor has proved to be effective. She's hammered already.'  "What are you doing here?" "I'm drowning my sorrows in…"  Adriann motioned for him to lean closer, "Vodka."  She whispered, trying her best to stifle a giggle. "Well, I think you're doing a damn good job at it. Give me the bottle." He said, reaching for the liquor she held firmly in her hand. "No!"  Adriann objected, pulling the bottle close to her.  "It's mine!  I paid for it.  Plus, I'm not done yet.  I can still remember why I came." "Dre, give me the bottle.  You've had enough."  Alec pressed. "No, Alec. No."  She said, suddenly sounding incredibly sober. "Fine.  You don't want to give up the booze, okay.  But you are coming with me."  Alec said throwing her arm over his shoulder, picking her up off the stool. "I can walk!"  Adriann protested, pushing Alec away.  Holding his hands up in surrender, Alec backed off a bit for her to walk on her own, ready to catch her if and when she fell.  "See, I can walk just – woo!"  Adriann laughed hysterically, crumbling into Alec waiting arms. "Sure you can." Alec conceded, putting her back on her feet and walking her to the door. "Where are we going Alec?" Adriann asked, swinging around to collide with his chest. "We are going to my place."  He told her, scooping her legs up and carrying her the last few feet to her car and opening the side door. "Why?" She asked, as Alec set her down in the passenger's seat, softly resting her head against the seat, while she curled up into the fetal position. "Two reasons." He said, climbing into the drivers seat and took the keys out of her jacket pocket.  "To get you out of Crash.  God only knows what would happen to you when you're like this.  And so I can sober you up."  Alec started the car, pulled out onto the highway, and drove to his house. "You're gonna take care of me?"  Adriann asked, quietly and childlike. "Yeah, sis.  I am."  Alec whispered, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Thanks."  Adriann's eyes suddenly shot open.  "When did we get to your house?" She asked, extremely confused. "About 15 minutes ago." Alec smiled. He hated seeing her like this…but she was funny drunk. "Oh."  Adriann looked around, taking in her surroundings.  She was in Alec's room, sprawled out on his bed still holding onto the Vodka bottle with all her might.  "Yeah…I don't 'member.  No…wait…it's still there." "What's still there?" Alec asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "The hurt.  The pain. The anger.  It's all still there.  A lot of good this did."  She said, waving the bottle around. "Dre,"  Alec gently took the bottle from her grasp, "what happened?" "Max hates me, Logan hates me…I almost hate me.  But it's too late to change anything.  What's done is done.  I can't take back what I said.  And neither can he.  I just wish that I could fix all of this…make Max see the truth…make Logan understand…" "Dre, you're not making any sense.  What happened with Max and Logan?  Are they okay?"  Alec questioned, worried about what may have happened.  Max had been in a lousy mood all weekend, but she wouldn't say why. "I don't know where Maxie went.  But I know she hates me wherever she is.  Logan is still in his penthouse – the arrogant bastard." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, why are you so pissed at Logan?" "Because he used me." "He used you?" "As a weapon.  Just like Manticore always wanted us to be.  Weapons.  Big bad weapons.  Uh-huh, that's what he did." "He used you as a weapon?" "Yep.  He used me to get back at Maxie, because she said that she couldn't marry him yet…down the road some she will…but she wasn't ready yet.  So he used me.  Some how Maxie got it in her head that Logan and me were…were…you know…and she…wait…what was I talking about?" "Logan using you." "Oh yeah…ass…well, when Maxie asked us…he didn't say a damn word.  He just sat there.  I tried to tell her…but…"  Adriann swatted away the tears that had begun to roll down her cheek. "Dre," Alec reached for his sister. "No." She objected, pushing his arm away.  "I don't deserve any pity or…or comfort…or anything like that.  I hit Logan -  hard.  And that's not good…cause you know…I'm stronger that him – a lot stronger.  He's a regular ole human and I'm a revved up killing machine.   I…I told him that he was selfish, and self-absorbed, and a hypocrite.  I said that he wasn't capable of really loving someone.  And I meant every word.  I told him that he wasn't the man I thought he was, and the man that everyone else thought he was… He said that I was just one of Lydecker's broken toys and that I caused nothing but trouble and heartache for him.  That he…he…wished I had never shown up at his door and never come into his life."  Adriann said, rolling away from here brother.  'And he wished Lydecker let me  die when I was supposed to.'   "I wish I could take back what I said…but I can never do that.  The damage has been done." "You were both angry.  I'm sure that he didn't mean it."  He consoled, laying his hand on her arm.  "Dre, I mean it.  You two are best friends, you have been for as long as I've known you.  He's probably doing the same thing you are right now – wishing he could take it all back.  I don't see how he could actually mean anything he said." "I think he did Alec.  There was something in his eyes…it was never there before…it looked like…complete and utter……disgust." Adriann told him, sadly.  "Who can blame him?  I can't.  If I were I'd probably look at me the same way.  I mean I'm just another one of Lydecker's experiments that back fired.  I turned against him.  I'm not supposed to be here Alec.  At least not this version of me."
                "What do you mean you're not supposed to be here?" Alec asked, as the weight of their conversation began to settle. "I remember dying.  I remember my own death Alec.  Do you know what that's like?  Remembering yourself dying in the field, and then waking up thinking that the doctors must have done their job, but when you look around everything is different.  All your brothers and sisters are a few years too young – and so are you.  And when you look at your barcode…it's different…the reverse actually.  Lydecker said I was too special to just let die in the field.  So let's stick all the knowledge of the dead Adriann in to the new Adriann's brain.  Unfortunately, the memories came along with the knowledge…do I don't remember being an X7…life as an X5 is what I remember.  So I became the freak in the unit…crazy girl who heard voices, saw things no one else could and was growing and aging about 4xs faster than the rest of them and insisted she was an X5." Adriann scoffed. "So can I really blame Logan for saying or thinking what he did.  No.  Because I've thought the same and worse myself.  Who am I to try and fix people's lives, when I can't even fix myself?  I don't even know who I really am.  If you asked me my designation…I'd tell you X5-981, serial number 45381387899.  I have to concentrate, keep reminding myself to say what is genetically true.  X7-981, serial number 99878318354.  All Logan did was tell the truth that I try so hard to hide." She whispered, with tears rolling down her face. "I don't care what Lydecker or anyone else says.  I don't care about designations or serial numbers anymore.  Manticore is gone and they all went with it. You are my sister.  No one can ever change my mind about that." Alec said, holding her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye.  "Okay?"  Quietly nodding, Adriann leaned foreword to rest her head on Alec shoulder and yawned. "You want anything?  Get you some chocolate or something?  Coffee maybe?"  Alec offered weakly, not knowing what else to for her. "Yeah."  Adriann shifted so she was using Alec's chest as a pillow as he leaned back against the wall and lightly wrapped his arms around her for both warmth and comfort. "You can take care of Max and Logan for me – get them back together.  This is just some stupid fluke that will blow over between them.  Find out who put that in Maxie's head…show her how wrong she was…that Logan loves her and would never do that.  I'd do it but I'd just get in the way…that's why I'm leaving it up to you." "What?  You're gonna still be around, right?" Alec looked down at his sister unable to see her face. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning, so I won't be around to fix everything that was broken because of me.  I need you to help fix it all, Alec.  Just get Max and Logan to talk, everything else will fall into place on it's own.  But I need you to get the ball rolling." "You can't really be leaving.  You are completely sloshed Dre, you don't know what you're saying." He countered, not wanting to believe she was leaving him. "I know damn well what I'm saying…" She said sternly, lifting her head briefly to look at him.  "I am leaving, tomorrow morning.  I can't stay here, Alec.  I can't.  Not when nearly everyone in this city that I care about wishes that I never came.  Not when my presence is preventing everything from being put back together and moving forward.  I'm holding them back, when all I ever wanted to do was help.  So for everything to get better I have to leave." "I'll see what I can do about the feuding love-birds.  But, I wish you wouldn't leave."  Alec nodded, taking Adriann into his arms. "I have to.  Besides, I've lived in the shadows before and I was okay, and I can do it again.  I'll be fine."  She said, trying to sound more self-assured than she felt.  "I'm really going to miss you Alec.  You've been great." She muttered into his chest. "I'll miss you too."  He whispered, resting his cheek on her head and his arms tightening around her. "I love you."  Adriann mumbled, as she drifted off to a grief induced sleep. 'I love you too Adriann.  I love you too.'



In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel

You are pulled from your wreckage of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel,

May you find some comfort here.

~*~Got Me Down~*~

"Okay.  It was good talking to you.  Here she is." Logan handed the phone to Adriann and rolled his eyes.  "He was my friend first and always talks to you longer." He joked.

"Blah blah, woof woof, whine…whine…whine." Adriann winked at Logan with a smile, as she walked over to the couch and flopped down.

"Is he whining again?"

"Isn't he always about one thing or another?" She asked, making sure it was loud enough for Logan to hear.  A second later a ball of paper came flying towards her from his office, followed by the sound of laughter.

"So, my favorite little informant, how's he doing?"

"He's doing really well, Bling.  I mean, he's acting like the Logan that we both know and love.  He's back at Eyes Only, writing, trying to save the world before dinner time…you know the usual.  I even got him to go to Crash the other night, and he had fun!"

"Logan…had fun…at Crash?" Bling chuckled, somewhat stunned.

"Shocking I know.  Go figure."  Adriann laughed.

"It's good to here you laugh again, Dre.  It's been a while since I've hear a real laugh coming from you – at least around me." Bling told her, turning the discussion towards her for a moment.

"Yeah, well…I've done a lot of growing up in the past 2 ½ years Bling.  And I took a long hard look in the mirror and didn't really like what I saw.  So I changed it.  It took some time, some tears and some harsh realizations, but I did it.  And I can stand myself now.  I know it's my own fault that you ended up running to Heather and are now the happiest married man and father I have ever seen."  Adriann admitted, good naturedly.  'And for once I actually believe what I'm saying and don't hate myself for it.  Maybe I really am growing up.'

"But I didn't help any.  I didn't even try to understand what you were going through…or even bother to try listening to what you were saying.  I'm as much to blame as anyone.  Dre, you can't take the brunt of the blame." Bling insisted.

"Maybe not, but I can always try."  She quipped in return.

"Once a CO, always a CO." Bling laughed.

"Too bad I was never a CO."

"Maybe not officially, but  you were and are CO in every sense of the word.  I know you remember that night at Manticore as well as I do.  And if you were ever a CO…it was then." He pointed out.  Adriann could picture his face halfway across the country and couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, I remember it…but I was just doing what I had to do to protect the people I love, not being a CO." Adriann told him, suddenly serious.

"Like I said, you may not have the rank officially, but you are a CO at heart.  And a damn good one at that."

"Thanks…I think.  I hope I can leave the soldier behind though.  She's never gotten me anything but trouble and heart ache."

"You don't have to worry about that honey…you've always had to big of a heart to be a true soldier.  You do what you have to, to make sure that the people you love are safe and happy with no thought of yourself.  A soldier is only concerned with the mission objective…which you never gave a rip about, unless it was under you terms."

"Why is it that you can always find the right words to say whenever I fell like Manticore might be starting to creep back into my brain?" Adriann questioned, staring out the window trying to find the answer to her question.

"Cause I know you, Dre.  Sometimes you need to be reminded of who you really are, not who you think you are"

"Bling, you need to come visit us you know that."

"Yeah, that's what Logan told me." He said, thoughtfully.

"So you'll come visit?" Adriann asked, hopefully.

"One of these days I'll drop by and surprise you two." Bling replied, dancing around the question.

"Suuuuuure…that's what you always say.  And I have yet to see your butt in Seattle."

"Why would you be looking at my butt?" Bling toyed.

"Ha…ha…ha." She said, un-amused.  "I know that Logan would really love to see you."

"Yeah…I'll be out there soon.  I gotta see for myself that he's doing alright.  Not that I don't believe you, but I just need to see it for myself, you know?"

"Yeah.  I do have to warn you though, he probably won't want to talk about the first year or so.  It's like the dark ages for him and he'd rather forget how much it hurt than go back there."

"You're not letting him get away with that are you?"

"Of course not.  But I was there for it and I helped him through it, so it's a little different for him to talk about it with me than you.  He doesn't have to explain and tell all the gory details all over again with me, because I know them all.  We're at a place now where he can pick up in the middle of a conversation that he's been having in his head and actually start talking and I know what he's talking about.  Because you've been gone for so long…I don't think you could do that anymore."

"Are you kidding me, I don't think I ever could do that with him.  I stopped trying to figure that boy out a long time ago and just went with the flow." Bling admitted.

"But you know what I mean?  That first year was a really bad and painful place for him and he doesn't like to revisit it."

"Yeah, I understand.  As long as you're not letting him forget it.  Because if he does…he'll be worse in the long run when he has to remember it somewhere down the road, because Max has decided to show her face again."

"I know, and she's bound to do that someday.  Just wish I knew when she planned on doing that."  She muttered with a sigh. "I'm talking good care of him Bling.  No worries." Adriann consoled.

"I knew that Logan was in good hands the second I heard you were there with him.  Thanks for that by the way.  I was gonna come out and stay with him for a while when I heard Max took off, just to make sure he was doing okay and didn't do anything stupid.  But then I heard that you had come back just before she ran and I knew that he was better off with you than he would have been with me.  You always understood him in a way I never could, and you could help in ways I could never really grasp."
                "I dunno about that.  You are a guy and you get the whole testosterone driven thinking thing, which just baffles me – always has.  But I'm glad I was here for him and could be a shoulder to cry on, if nothing else."

"Dre, you are the man's best friend in the world.  You know everything there is to know about him.  So how can you possibly think that you were nothing more than a shoulder to cry on?" Bling said, dumbfounded.

"I dunno.  I never feel like I'm doing anything other than getting tissues and saying 'It'll be okay.'  Best friend or not, sometimes…most times, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and if I'm even doing any good in the situation."
                "Trust me, you are doing a whole lotta good in the situation Dre.  You really are.  I haven't heard Logan as happy as he is today in…years, if ever.  Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you two have something going on that you're not telling me about."

"Bling…really." Adriann sighed.  'Where does he get this stuff?'

"I'm sorry but it's true.  The way he was talking about you…I think the boys' got a thing for you."

"Bling, I am his girlfriend's sister for crying out loud." Adriann said, caught off guard by his statement.  'He's got to be joking. Like Logan would ever think of me like that.'
                "Ummm…EX-girlfriend.  And you know what they say."

"And what is it that they say Bling?" Adriann asked, exasperated.

"From friendship comes love.  And you two are definitely more than just buddies…you two are the closest set of friends I've ever seen.  And I've seen a lot of friends in my day."

"Oh please.  I'm not buying it, Bling.  No way."  'Maybe he's not kidding.  He can't be serious…Logan and me?  No way…even if I did ever, possibly, think about thinking about it…he's outta my league.  Besides, that would never happen.  Would it? Of course it wouldn't.'

"Fine, think what you want my dear.  But there is something going on in that penthouse that neither one of you is willing to admit.  Mark my words, Adriann…(you need a middle name)…something's going on."

"Uh-huh, yeah…sure it is.  You keep telling yourself that and I'll continue to keep in touch with reality." Adriann mocked.

"You do that." Bling instructed.

"I will." Adriann said, stubbornly.

"Good." Bling laughed at her persistence that obviously hadn't changed.

"Maybe it's best that we change the subject." Adriann suggested after a slight pause, trying to hide the laughter from her voice.

"Okay, I can do that.  How's Alec?" Bling asked, any feigned animosity completely forgotten.

"He's good."

"Oh, so now I only get two word answers?  I'm hurt." He joked.

"I can see how 'He's good' is such a scarring blow." Adriann laughed.  'Ahhh…The banter never dies.'  "Really, he's good.  It's nice to have a brother again.  Granted in the beginning I had to remind myself every once and a while that he wasn't Ben.  But, now instead of thinking it was one of life's cruel little jokes to give me a guy who looks exactly like my dead brother but not be Ben, I see it as getting another brother and another chance almost.  I get keep all the great memories of my time with Ben, and they'll never be tainted by something stupid he said or did now, and I get a whole new brother who is totally different from Ben, but reminds me of him so often in the simplest things that he does.  It really is a huge blessing to have Alec in my life, Bling.  I don't know what I'd do without him sometimes.  He my best friend next to Logan and I know I can count on him for anything and he'll be there when I need him."

"You sound happy." Bling told her, his smile evident in his voice.

"You know what?  I think I might be.  I've never really been happy for an extended period of time…or really truly happy for that matter.  So I'm not sure what it feels like, but this is the closest I've ever been to happy…I think."

"Again I say, you sound happy."

"Thanks." She laughed lightly.

"It's been good talking to you, Dre.  We should do it more often." Bling said, regretting the long silences that have plagued them for the past 3 years.

"We should.  And just because we feel like talking to each other, not because you want your quarterly report on Logan, or I have something I need to tell you about him.  But because we miss talking to each other."

"Exactly.  I miss you Adriann.  You were a really great friend for a while.  Then things got…"

"Bling, what did I tell you about calling me Adriann?"  She asked, sounding suddenly stern.

"Oh sorry, my bad…Dre." Bling corrected.

"That's better.  And, yes we were close at one point in time.  I think it's time to get back there again…in a platonic sort of way anyway."

"Yeah…completely platonic is good.  I know that Heather will appreciate platonic." He joked.

"I guess that means no spontaneous trips to Morocco, or some other wonderfully tropical heaven then huh?"

"I'm afraid not.  Unless you would want it to be a double date; me and Heather, you and Logan." Bling offered, entering extremely dangerous territory.  "Okay, okay, I'll stop I can feel the look burning through my soul half way across the country." Bling laughed, unconsciously cringing.

"Good." Adriann said, curtly.

"I'll talk to you later, okay sweetie?"

"Yeah, you will."

"Bye."

"Bye." Adriann said, almost sadly as she punched the button to hang up the phone and sighed.  'He had to be kidding around with that Logan thing.  It's Bling…so yeah…he was joking.  Like Logan would ever…I mean, it's just me.  Good ole Adriann…reliable, protective…super-soldier best friend…that's me…not oh she's hot…maybe there's something there on a romantic level, can't live without her…girlfriend material Adriann.  That's just not me, never has been really.  Yeah.  Bling just felt like screwing with my head is all.  Yeah…well he did a fine job at it that's for sure.'

*-*

"Are you coming or not?" Adrian called, from the comfort of the couch as she tossed her book on the table.

"Yeah…I'll be right there." Logan answered, sounding more than a little distracted.

'Sure.  That's what you said 20 minutes ago and you are still putzing around with that stupid computer.  The thing is fried Logan. I could have told you that 5 hours ago, but no…you have to figure it out for yourself while you waste hours trying to fix the piece of junk.'

"Yeah, sure you are." She sighed.

"I am." He replied,  lifting his head to look in her direction.  "Just give me…five minutes."

Silently, Adriann walked up behind Logan where he was sitting at his desk, hunched over a partially melted circuitry disk, and wrapped her arms around him and crouched to rest her chin on his shoulder. "I've already given you 20." She whispered sweetly, her eyes revealing her slight irritation.

"But –"

"Logan, you've been trying to fix that thing for 5 hours.  It's fried.  It's trashed.  You can't fix that.  It's half melted for goodness sake." Adriann stood and pick up the mangled piece of plastic and metal.  "Say goodbye." She added, tossing it down into the garbage can beside the desk.

"I know." Logan sighed, leaning his head back against her.  "You're right." He added, looking up at Adriann.

"I know." She smirked, "If you want I can get you a new one tomorrow - enjoy the benefits of having a revved up best friend?" Adriann offered.

                "You don't need to do that, Dre."

                "That would be why I'm offering to do it."

                "You ready to watch that movie?" Logan asked, successfully changing the subject.

                "I think the question is are you ready to watch it…cause I've been ready."  Adriann said rolling her eyes at his shameless avoidance of the question.

                "I am more than ready."  Logan said, effortlessly picking Adriann up and throwing her over his shoulder.  It was easy for him to forget that as small as she was, she was more than capable of throwing him across the room like a rag doll without breaking a sweat – even though he knew she never would.

                "Hey!" She squealed, "Logan, put me down.  Put me down!" Adriann laughed, barely attempting to fight back.

                "Now why would I do that?" He asked, walking out his office door.

                "Because you know I can beat you like a five year old in K-Mart." She said into his back.

                "K-Mart huh?" Logan laughed, "I hardly remember K-Mart, so how on earth do you even know about it?"

                "I dunno, I think I heard it on some old TV re-run marathon.  And I thought that this would be an appropriate time to use it."

                "I agree."

                "So are you gonna put me – ahhh! – down." Adriann asked again, as Logan dropped her down onto the couch.

                "Yep." He grinned.  "You want anything?" Logan asked over his should as he walked into the kitchen.

                "Have I ever not wanted food?"

                "No."

                "So why ask?" Adriann said, looking back at Logan as he came back with a bowl of popcorn, a bowl of chips and two cans of soda.

                "I dunno, it's this stupid habit of being courteous.  I really should break that one."  Logan smirked, handing over the popcorn and a can of soda. 

                "Well my dear, since it was your turn to pick the movie, how about you fill me on what fine film you chose." He asked, sitting down beside his best friend, and cracking open his soda.

                "I heard that it was a really great movie…so I read the book while I was waiting for you to get your butt out here –"

                "You read the book in 20 minutes?" Logan smiled.

                "Actually, I read it twice in 20 minutes, but who's counting?  Anyway the book was really great so the movie has to be good too." Adriann rattled off, between fist-fulls of popcorn.

                "And what would the name of this movie be?"

                "A Walk to Remember.  I know it's kinda old, but the book was just so….so…good.  I couldn't not watch the movie."

                "I remember that one.  It came out when I was a kid." Logan recalled, hitting the play button on the remote control.

                "You've seen it before!" Adriann whined, disappointedly.

                "Yeah, but it was a very long time ago.  I wouldn't mind seeing it again." Logan comforted,  "I hardly remember anything other than the general plot."

                "Okay." She sighed, tipping over somewhat to lean on Logan's shoulder.  "Want some popcorn?" Adriann offered him the practically empty bowl with a grin.

                "Oh, so you are gonna share." Logan laughed.

                "Hey, you were warned a long time ago…I don't always play well with others.  Besides, I was hungry."  She added, with an innocent pout.

                "Oh no, don't you play little miss innocent with me.  I know you too well to fall for that one." He replied, holding back the laughter fighting to get out.

                "Hey!  Logan, that hurts me.  I'm scarred for life.  I could need therapy.  And you're gonna pay for it if I do." Adriann toyed, sitting up straight and poking him in the chest for emphasis.

                "Oh please –"

                "Shhh….it's starting." Adriann cut him off, putting her finger over his mouth.  "Unlike you I haven't seen this before so I can't miss anything."

                "Sorry." Logan said, his voice muffled by her finger and its hold on his lips.

                "It's okay.  I forgive you and I still love ya." She told him, kissing him quickly on the cheek.  "Now, hush."

                Grabbing the blanket at the end of the couch, Adriann pulled it up over her shoulders and curled up next to Logan, using his shoulder as a pillow.

                "Comfy?" Logan whispered, glancing down at her.

                "I guess." She said quietly, her attention focused on the movie.   Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Logan leaned back against the arm of the couch, gently pulling her back with him. 

                "Better?" He asked, spreading the blanket out over them.

                Back up against him and adjusting the blanket Adriann sighed, "Much."

                "Good." Logan muttered, as he casually draped his arm on her waist.

*-*

As the movie credits began to roll across the screen, Adriann yawned silently and stretched; her feline DNA evidently controlling her motions.  Yet another movie night had come to an end.
                'That is such a great story.  It breaks my heart, but gives me hope for the world at the same time.  It makes you see just how powerful love really is.  It can change the world.  And what's Logan do?  He falls asleep.  But he usually does with 'chick flicks'.'

Logan let out a whinny groan when Adriann attempted to sit up, and stubbornly pulled her back down beside him.  "Hey…you're my blanket.  You can't just leave."

"Is that so?" Adriann smiled, as Logan wrapped his arms around her making sure she knew he had no intention of letting her go anywhere.

"Uh-huh." He replied, sleepily.

"Well, as cozy as it may be squeezing both our butts on a couch barely big enough for one of us, I'm exhausted and I'm hoping to get a couple of hours of sleep. I can't do that while being your blanket." She said, patting his arm.

"What's your point?" He toyed.

"My point, Logan dearest, is that I'm going to bed."  Adriann sat up, put her feet on the ground, and turned to face her roommate who refused to relax his hold on her.  "Goodnight." She finished, with a ritual kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight." He sighed, in a protesting childlike tone.

"Logan."

"Hmmm."

"You've got to let go." Adriann informed, gazing down at her half asleep roommate.  'He looks so young and peaceful when he's sleeping.  Well, half asleep in this case, but the fact remains.  I wish I got the chance to just watch him sleep more often these days.'

"Why?" He asked, a grin finally spreading across his face, blowing his cover.

"You are such a dork." Adriann laughed, falling back onto Logan.

"I thought you were going to bed?" Logan asked, as Adriann snuggled up next to him once again.

"I am." She sighed, contently.

"Could have fooled me." He laughed.  "Come on, let's get you to bed."  Slowly, Logan sat up and helped Adriann sit at the same time.

"Alright, alright, I'm going…I'm going.  Goodnight."  Adriann twisted to face Logan and kiss him on the cheek once more before heading off to bed.  Only this time she hesitated a second too long and Logan turned head so that the kiss didn't land on his cheek as it usually did, and was supposed to, but his lips.

'Oh my God!  He's kissing me.  Adriann, you're kissing him back.  You should stop this.  I should stop this.'

Quickly, Adriann snapped her head back and sat up rigidly on the edge of the couch trying to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.  From the corner of her eye, she saw Logan doing the same.

"Uhh…yeah…Goodnight." Adriann stammered, before hurrying into her bedroom and hiding behind the safety of the door.  Slumping back against the wall, Adriann stared at the door as her mind raced nearly out of control. 'Oh…my…God… That did not just happen…did it?  Yep, I think it did.'  Adriann's fingers rose to her lips of their own accord as she replayed the last few moments in her head.  'Yeah it definitely happened.  Holy  crap! I just kissed Logan…no he kissed me…wait…no…ARGH!!!  Life made more sense back in Manticore than it does right now.  Logan is my best friend right?  Right.  So what the heck just happened back there?!  You do not kiss your best friend the way that we just did…unless…no…don't even go there Adriann…don't even.  Bling, I'm going to kill you for even putting the idea in my head.  Logan is…well…Logan.  He's practically like my brother.  Then why did my heart skip a beat when he touched me, and why did I suddenly forget how to breathe?'

"Adriann." Logan called from the hallway as he closed the gap between himself and her door.

'Ok…just get a hold of yourself Adriann.  It's just Logan.  You know…your good ole buddy Logan; the guy who can't bake, or admit when he's wrong, or  take no for an answer…the guy you've lived with for years…the unbelievably  sweet and gorgeous man that you…ADRIANN!  Stop that…control your hormones woman! Honestly.  He's gonna be walking through that door any – now.'

"Logan..." Adriann sputtered, failing miserably at sounding anything near normal.  The next the she knew, Logan had taken her face in her hands and kissed her, this time much slower and deeper, taking her breath away.  Finally breaking the kiss, Logan took a half step back and smiled.

"Goodnight Dre." He whispered, before lightly kissing her forehead and walking out and shutting the door behind him.

Stunned, Adriann stood in silence.  'I need to sit…definitely need to sit.  But I can't feel my legs.'  Carefully, Adriann sat down on the edge of her bed fighting for some form of rational thought.  'What is going on?  Everything that used to make sense in my life, doesn't anymore.  I mean…me and Logan…kissing?  And, then there's Max.  Sure she's been gone for 2 1/2 years, but that doesn't change the fact that Logan loves her and she loves him.  If she ever found out about this she would beat me into next week, deservedly so.'

Adriann sighed frustratedly, and flopped backwards like a rag-doll starring at the ceiling.  'The more I think about this the more confused I get.  Except for one thing that has been floating around in the back of my head since from the beginning; I can't wait until I can kiss him again.'

*-*

'Oh, I so blame Logan for this one.  If it weren't for him kissing me, then I would have been asleep for hours by now and probably just waking up.  But no…he had to throw my world in an uproar didn't he?  Who does he think he is, walking in and kissing me like that?  Huh?  And now I can't sleep.  I can't stop thinking long enough to sleep.  I really need to talk to him.  I need to find out if he's as thrown by all this as I am, or if I'm completely delusional and none of it ever happened.  And if that's true I have more issues than I thought.'  Throwing the blanket to the side, Adriann climbed out of bed and began to pad across the penthouse to the master bedroom.  'Logan, if you're not awake already…you're gonna be.'

"Logan?" Adriann called quietly, opening his bedroom door.  "You awake?"  The room was softly lit by the slivers of moonlight that found it's way through the shades.  Logan was laying in the middle of the bed, surrounded by sheets and blankets that had been thrown to either side of him, with his hands frustratedly gripping his hair.

"Yeah." He muttered, without moving.

"I can't sleep either." Adriann sighed, trying to buy herself some time to figure out what to say.  "Can I talk to you about…about what happened?" She asked meekly, taking a few steps closer to the bed then a few back towards the wall thinking better of it.

"I know…I know…I was completely out of line.  I don't know what I was thinking, or if I was thinking at all." Logan apologized,  while sitting up, but still unable to look her in the eye.  "I'm sorry, Dre.  I am so sorry.  It won't happen again."

"But…but…what if I want it to?"  Adriann asked, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.  'Did I really just say that out loud?  Great job Dre…way to cross the line to the point of no return………AND MAKE A COMPLETE FOOL OF YOURSELF!'

"What?" Logan asked, looking more confused than ever as his eyes finally met hers.

"Well…ummm…I…what I mean is…argh!" Running her hands though her hair, Adriann groaned in frustration.  'Complete sentences are always a plus…so why don't ya use one!'

"Okay, let's try this again." Adriann sighed.  "This is all so unreal Logan.  Right now I can't tell which way is up and which way is down.  It's like someone came and turned my world upside down so everything that used to make sense to me wouldn't.  And I'm probably not making any sense now when I'm trying to explain it."  Taking one final step backward, Adriann hit the wall and lightly hit her head against it.

"Logan I…I have no clue what I'm saying…or what I'm trying to say really.  I am just so confused right now.  I can barely tell which way is up." She admitted, in defeat.

"I know what you mean." He sighed.

"I guess what I mean is…this isn't the huge tragedy that you might think it is.  It wasn't…bad." Adriann ventured, not knowing what she was going to say until the words were already being said.  She was running on auto-pilot.

"Really?" Logan asked, cracking a grin.

"Yeah.  What?" Adriann searched his eyes for what he thought was so amusing.  "Oh…oh…" Seeing the double meaning of her words, Adriann couldn't help but laugh at herself.  "I meant that the kiss wasn't bad…I mean it wasn't…I am such a moron."  Realizing that trying to recover and explain what she said was a lost cause, Adriann slid down the wall to sit on the floor.  Completely humiliated, she pulled her knees up to her chest and held her head in her hands.  'Wow…you really are an idiot.  You've been talking since you were a year old and somehow you've lost the ability to form complete and coherent sentences.  And when you manage to pull one off…you screw it up with a double meaning.  Then as if that wasn't enough, you find a way to embarrass even more by trying to explain and elaborate.  MORON!!!!  How have you managed to survive for 24 years?  Really, how?   This is why you are and have been single Adriann.  Because you're a dork.'

"Dre…"Logan began, through his laughter.

'And now you've got him laughing at you.  Any unlikely chance you might have had, is now shot.'

"Logan, don't.  Please.  I'm already embarrassed enough.  I don't need to hear your attempt at a gentle blow off.  I'm just gonna go back to my room, curl up in the corner, and die."  Adriann groaned, without lifting her head from her hands.

"Dre, you might want to hear this." Logan said, finally in control of his laughter.

"Trust me, I don't."

"Adriann-"

"Logan." She said harshly, lifting her head to look him in the eye.  "You're off the hook, okay.  You don't need to come up with some nice way to let me down and spare my feelings.  I get it.  I'm delusional.  I'm insane.  And I was totally off base to even think…"

'Bling, I blame you and you will pay.'

With an aggravated sigh, Logan got off his bed and kneeled down on the floor beside Adriann, taking her head in his hands.

"Will you just shut up and listen to me for a minute before you go off on your tangent?  I was trying to say that I thought you were upset by it.  I wish I could tell you why I kissed you, but I can't because, I don't know.  But I can tell you that I don't regret doing it.  I wish I'd done it sooner." He said, looking directly into her endless blue eyes.

"Really?" She asked, as a spark of hope began to shine in her eyes.

"Yeah.  I thought you were gonna beat the crap out of me…in a manner of speaking.  I was praying that you and I were on the same page, but I doubted it."

"I was thinking the same thing.  I mean, I was shocked that you…but I was more shocked that I wanted it to happen again.  I never imagined that you…I mean…I thought that you'd be regretting it till the day you died." Adriann smiled, excited that she wasn't as big of a fool as she thought.  "I guess that part of me thought that you'd stay faithful to Max forever…no matter what." She whispered, unsure if this was a wise time to bring up her sister who remained MIA.  Logan smiled sadly as he pulled his hands away from Adriann's face and leaned back slightly to sit down.  Slowly her smile faded, as she saw the direction that their conversation was about to turn.

The small gesture of puling his hands back at the mention of Max began to speak volumes to Adriann.  'He still loves her, and always will.  I was right, he'll remain true to her for the rest of his life and kissing me tonight was a mistake that won't happen again.  I should have known better.  Logan may want to pursue something, but his heart won't let him, because it belongs to Max.'

"Dre, I will always love Max.  Nothing can ever change that.  But we had so many secrets, and so much had changed in that last year.  The confidence and trust that we used to have was gone.  I knew that as far as my safety was concerned, if it was in her power she'd never let anything happen to me, and I would do the same.  But romantically, the distrust grew with every passing week.  It wasn't because of Alec or Asha or Rafer or even the virus really, it was because of us.  Don't get me wrong, the virus didn't help any and definitely made things worse, but the core of our problems was us.  We were both so scared of losing each other that we always thought we were.  It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me – even now, but I know that's what it was.  We let our fears get the better of us, and we subsequently fell apart."  Logan looked over  from the wall to Adriann, who had curled into a tighter ball than before and was resting her chin on her knees, her smile gone.

"But it's only a part of me that will love Max forever, just like there will always be a part of you that still loves Bling.  Maybe I've been stupid or blind for all the years I've known you, or maybe I wasn't supposed to see it until now, but you reach a part of me no one else ever has; Not Max,  not Valerie, not Daphne, no one but you.  You understand me better than anyone, better than me sometimes.  You've always been there when I've needed you, you're the best friend I've ever had…I can't stand the thought of you not being here with me.  The past few weeks whenever you go to Crash, I find myself watching the clock, listening for the door, and hating the idea of you being there with sleazy guys hitting on you and dancing with you touching you.  I was jealous of guys that might not even exist."

"They don't exist, trust me." Adriann muttered, doing all she could to not get her hopes up again.  'There's a 'But' coming. There has to be.'

"Strangely enough, I don't feel any better because I know that they're looking.  But, what I'm doing a really awful job at saying is…I always knew that you were an amazing person and I was incredibly lucky to have met you and have you in my life.  Then all of a sudden you and I were best friends, I trusted you with things I've never trusted anyone with and I knew the same was true for you.  And a few weeks ago…especially a few days ago…every time I saw you, it was like I was looking at you for the first time.  Like I was rediscovering everything that I loved about you; the way your eyes light up along with the rest of your face when you smile, and when you laugh your eyes sparkle and dance.  How I can tell who you're worried about by where you are in the house and the look on your face.  And the way I can feel your presence in a room before I see you, and the way that you are so entirely genuine and heartfelt in everything you do and say.  The way you only want the best for everyone and would do anything for the people you care about if it would make them happy.  And how you are so completely selfless in all that you do.  And how when you're sad or upset about something, I'd do just about anything to make you smile.  And it kills me to see you cry."  Shifting slightly so he was facing her more directly, Logan lifted Adriann's chin forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Adriann, you are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.  I miss you the second you walk out of the room.  Every time I see you I get butterflies in my stomach, and every time we touch I have to remind myself to breathe.  Every minute we're apart seems like an eternity, and when we are together blinking is too long to not see you."

"Logan, I don't know what to say." Adriann stumbled.

"Say you'll have dinner with me tomorrow night, right here in the penthouse.  I'll cook, we'll have our own little restaurant up here, away from the world and all it's interruptions and distractions."

"Where's the 'but'?" She asked, quietly fighting the tears that were trying to fill her eyes.

"The 'but'?" Logan looked at her quizzically.

"Yeah.  The 'but'.  You're saying all the right things, telling me everything I want to hear.  Everything is just too…perfect.  There has to be a 'but' somewhere."

"There's no 'but' sweetie.  Promise."

"There has to be one…nothing this good has ever happened to me without a 'but' before, so why wouldn't there be one?" She asked, as a determined tear spilled over her lashes.

"Because I meant every word I said, and I have no regrets about any of it."  Logan gently wiped away her tear with his thumb and kissed her forehead lightly.  "You've managed to touch a place in my heart no one's ever touched.  I'm not looking for any lame title, sex, or for you to wear a ring…all I want is to touch your heart."

"Are you trying to make me cry?" Adriann asked, laughing and crying at the same time.

"No."

"Well you did." She said smiling.

"I know sweetheart, and I'm sorry." Logan apologized softly, wiping away each tear.

"You really mean all that?"

"I've never meant anything more in my life." Logan told her, surprised at the honesty behind the statement he didn't know he was going to say. "Never meant anything more."

"You are quite possibly the sweetest man I have ever met." Adriann whispered, slowly leaning in to Logan's lips.  She paused millimeters away from his lips and whispered, "I'll make dessert."  With that, no words were spoken for the rest of the night.

*-*

"Well it took him long enough." Alec said, shutting his locker in the back of Jam Pony headquarters.

"Uhmmm-hmmm." Cindy added, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back on a row of lockers.

"What are you guys talking about?" Adriann asked, baffled by her friend's lack of shock.

"Listen to Original Cindy Lil' Boo; you and Richie Rich were the last to know that there was somethin' going down between you too.  I for one, saw this comin' a mile away."

"Yeah baby sister, it was obvious to everyone but the tow of you." Alec told her, draping his arm over her shoulders.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Alec and Cindy replied in unison.

"Hey Golden Boy!  If you could spare a moment of your time to go on a run or two, your paycheck could actually be in the double digits." Normal bellowed, across the Jam Pony receiving area.

"Yeah…I'll be right there." Alec answered, by habit.  "I'll see you later Sis.  Cindy." He said, taking a few steps backward and shooting a wink at his sister.

"That boy has sure done a lot of growin' up in the past few years." OC mumbled.

"I know."

"What happened to the self-serving, I don't give a damn about anyone but myself unless they have money I could use to cover my own ass, Alec that we all loved to hate?" Cindy said, sighing reminiscently.

"I dunno, but my life has been a lot less dramatic since he left.  And I've had far fewer messes of his to clean up."  Adriann sat down on the bench to tie her sneakers.

"Yeah I don't miss him either."

"You should see the look Normal is giving you." Adriann said, suppressing a laugh as she snuck one more look at Normal's icy glare.

"What, the 'I'd fire you if I  could afford it' look?" She asked, mockingly.

"That and 'I don't want to get too mouthy with you cause you could put me in the ICU' look." Dre added, loosing the battle with her laughter.

"At least he knows it." Cindy said with a smirk, turning on her heal and walking over to Normal for a package.

A few minutes later Adriann met Original Cindy and Alec by the corner of the building, her bag loaded with packages waiting to be delivered.

"Okay sis, meet me at Crash around three.  Whatever signatures and packages you have still I'll take for you, so you can get back to the pent house and get ready for your date with Logan." Alec explained, draping his arm around her shoulders protectively.

"And I'll handle Normal.  I'll tell him something so he won't be on your back tomorrow…or the next day, depending on how things go tonight." Cindy continued, with a suggestive glance.

"Thanks guys.  Really.  And I will see you tomorrow O.C.." Dre said eying her friend.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  That means about as much to me as 'we're not like that'." Cindy mumbled, stepping onto her bike.  "Good luck tonight lil' boo."  She added, leaning over to give Dre a hug, before riding off to begin her runs.

"Everything will go fine tonight Dre.  It'll be perfect." Alec whispered, as if he had read her mind.

"Promise?" Her anxiety about the evening showing through.

"It will be if I have anything to do with it."

"But you don't have anything to do with it." Adriann reminded, with a loving grin.

"That's what you think." Alec winked.  "But really, you've got nothing to worry about.  You and Logan care about each other too much to risk ruining what you already have.  Tonight and last night are about exploring the possibility of…taking the next step, seeing if it's worth the risk."

"I know.  That's what I keep telling myself.  But Alec, I never realized until last night, just how much Logan means to me.  Even thinking about the possibility of ever losing him…I can barely breathe.  I never wanted to anything like this to happen, because of who and what I am.  I've already put too many people in danger, and if anything ever happened to any of them, because of me –"

"That's not going to happen Dre.  You won't let it, I won't, and Cindy and Logan won't.  You have just as much the right to be happy as any one else, and this looks to be your chance.  So take it, and stop worrying." Alec told her, taking her face in his hands.

"Okay…okay." Adriann sighed, as Alec kissed her forehead.  "I love you." She whispered.

"I know." He smiled, "I love you too.  Now the sooner you get started the sooner you'll be done.  So go.  Bip, bip, bip." Alec said mockingly.

Rolling her eyes, Adriann climbed on her bike. "I'll see you at three." She called over her shoulder as she rode away.

*-*

                "This is the only one I have left.  I couldn't get all the way to sector 9 and be back here in time." Adriann explained, handing Alec the clip board with all her signatures and the remaining package.  She had met him on the corner, half a block away from Crash five minutes earlier.

                "Wow, you must have hauled it today.  I was expecting at least six packages…nervous energy?" Alec asked, looking up as he continued to put the clip board in his messenger bag. 

                "No…not really…maybe a little…yes." Adriann muttered, nervously cracking her knuckles and shifting from one foot to the other.

                "Hey?  What did I tell you this morning?" He said, lifting her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye.

                "I have nothing to worry about.  We're just exploring the possibilities…blah, blah, blah."

                "Right.  Now, how about you try believing it.  Anyway, aren't dates supposed to be fun?"

                "Yeah, I think that's the general concept.  Or so I've heard." Adriann replied, trying to hold back a smile.

                "Then have fun…be excited." Alec said, with a goofy grin.

                "That's the thing – will you get that stupid  look off your face - " Adriann laughed, "I am excited, that's why I'm so nervous.  I really don't wanna screw this up.  I like him a lot, Alec.  More than I probably should."

                "Stop…Go and have fun.  And stop worrying." Alec ordered, as he began pushing Adriann down the sidewalk towards Crash's parking lot.

                "Alright I'm going!  I'm going.  You don't need to walk me there I'm a big girl, I think I can handle walking half a block all by myself." Adriann objected, playfully pushing Alec back.

                "Okay.  I'm off to finish my runs and your one run.  Remember to have fun…and ENJOY yourself tonight."

                "I will.  Promise." She ensured, hugging her brother tightly.  "And, thank you."

                "Anything for my favorite sister." Alec whispered through her hair.  "Good luck."

                "I'll see you tomorrow." Adriann said, taking a step backwards.

                "I want details." Alec informed, climbing on his bike and began peddling in one fluid motion.

                "Uh-huh, and I'm sure you'll get them." She laughed.

                "Of course I will." Alec told her, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

                "Not in this lifetime."

                "Keep telling yourself that, and maybe it'll be true."

                "Don't you have work to do?" Adriann smiled, reminding him of the unpleasant reality of work.

                "Technically, yes." Alec's smiled faded.

                "Then…Bip, bip, bip Golden Boy." Adriann yelled, as her brother's figure disappeared around the corner, his laugh tagging behind.  

                Smiling, Adriann turned on her heal and continued to walk towards the parking lot.  'Yeah, I'm nervous because I'm excited.  That's what it is.  That and the nagging little question in the back of my mind…'I know where Logan stands as far as he and I on the Max issue, and I know that Alec is always behind me, but Cindy.  Cindy I don't know what's going on in her head on this one.  She was Max's best friend, and would cause some serious harm to anyone who hurt or tried to hurt her.  Then again, Cindy's my friend too…and she seems okay with it.  She is helping me get out early today…well, at least she's not wishing me dead because of this.  So, maybe I'm just blowing it all out of proportion in my head – like I usually do.  I mean honestly, when does Cindy ever keep her opinions to herself?'

                'Plus, I am really excited about tonight.  And knowing Logan as I do, he'll probably have an incredibly romantic set up or something.  Who knows what he has in store?  I know Logan better than anyone and I am completely clueless.  Ahhhh…I am soooo excited!  I can't believe this is actually happening.  I mean Logan's been my best friend for years and now…now he's, well he could be more.  I hope we'll be more.  After last night…I think he hopes we'll be more.  We'll see what happens.  In the words of my friend Original Cindy, "The night holds a million possibilities."  I know I'm pulling for the possibility that I'll actually get to be happy – really and truly happy for the first time in my life.  And I know with Logan I will be.'

                Pulling the keys from her back pocket, Adriann round the corner of Crash's building into the parking lot.  Quickly scanning for her car, Adriann stopped dead in her tracks.  'Oh.  My.  God.'

                A young, exhausted woman was pacing in front of Adriann's car, stopping periodically as though her feet forgot to move.  She was excited and terrified all at the same time; you could see it, even from a distance.  Slowly, Adriann took two silent steps forward.  The woman, she seemed so lost, so uncomfortable in her surroundings, even though she knew them well.  She hadn't slept in weeks – maybe months.  Even her body couldn't take that.  She looked so much older, mainly from the lack of sleep, but she'd been through a lot in the last three years.  To put it bluntly, she looked awful.

                "Maxie?" Adriann whispered, so softly she wasn't sure it came out at all.  The next thing she knew, Adriann was running towards her sister screaming her name. "Max!!!"

                Max spun on her heal to face the source of the cry, in shock and ready for battle.   She hadn't noticed anyone approach the parking lot.   But, as soon as she recognized the woman running towards her as Adriann, her arms opened wide.  Adriann threw herself into Max's waiting arms, hardly believing that this was really happening.  She had all but given up hope of ever seeing her sister again.  But this time it was real.  Max was back.

                "Max?" Adriann breathed, pulling back to look her sister in the face.

                "Hey." Max whispered, her emotion showing despite her efforts to hide it.

                "You're back.  You're really back."

                Max nodded silently, her eyes falling to the ground.  Adriann carefully watched her sister, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

                "Well, you don't actually think you're gonna get out of telling me every last detail of the last three years do you?" Adriann quipped, trying to ease some the tension within Max.

                "Well…" Max said, with a smile breaking through, "…I was hoping."

                "Okay…you don't have to tell me everything, but you are telling me something.  Come on, we'll sit down in Crash and talk for a little while and you can get reacquainted with our favorite neighborhood dive." Adriann looped her arm around Max's and gently lead her towards the entrance.  'That should give me enough time to figure out what I'm gonna do about Logan.'

*-*

                "Once I found a cure for the virus that actually last more than a few hours or days, I had been gone so long…I was scared to come back.  Scared that things had changed too much, and all I would do is cause more pain by coming back.  And that's the last thing I wanted."  Max  explained, finishing off her beer.

                "So what made you come back?" Adriann asked, leaning forward on her forearms.

                "I wanted to come home." Max said, looking straight into her eyes for the first time since she sat down.

                "I'm glad you decided to come home.  We've all missed you.  I can't tell you how many times I wished that I had my sister here to talk to.  Or wished that I had just come home that night, so I would have had the chance to make things different."

                "Yeah, about that – I'm sorry…"

                "Max, it's in the past.  It's over.  Don't worry about.  You're back home, that's all that matters now." Adriann smiled.

                "I am." Max sighed with a smile, and settled back into her chair.  "So what's everyone been up to?"

                "Normal's annoying as ever – oh yeah I've been holding your place at Jam Pony.  So the job's still yours if you want it back."

                "What else do I have to do?" Max rolled her eyes.

                "But I'm assuming that by everybody, you meant Logan."

                Max smiled slightly, looking up from her drink, at how well her sister knew her – even after all this time.  "Maybe."

                "Uh-huh." Adriann said, raising her eyebrows, not buying it.

                "He's doing good, Maxie." She said, her voice softening.  "He still misses you, even if he doesn't always show it."

                "When I…"

                "It was hard on him for a while, I hadn't seen him like that since the day we met.  And at least he was showering then.  I practically had to drag him in the shower.  It wasn't pretty." Adriann finished, trying to lighten the blow she had just thrown at Max.

                'Oh…wow…that does not sound right considering recent developments.  Drag him in the shower…Dre…watch yourself.'

                "I never meant to…" Max began.

                "I know.  And so does he.  But it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt.  But Logan's doing really well now.  Promise." She ensured.  "Umm, what else." Adriann looked up and gnawed on her bottom lip as she thought.  'I made out with your boyfriend and we have a date tonight.  That's something new, but probably not what you want to hear.  And you won't want to hear that I have to find a way to sneak away and warn Logan that plans have changed.  How I'm gonna do that is….Alec!  You have perfect timing.' 

"Oh!  You aren't going to believe how much Alec has grown up.  He's actually a civil human being now.  You might even like him." Adriann told her, watching Alec and Cindy walk towards the table over Max's shoulder.

                "I don't know that I'd go that far." Max scoffed.

                "You never know.  Well speak of the devil." Adriann smirked, as she watched Alec and Cindy walk through the door. 

                "Dre?  What are you doing here?  You were supposed to leave for-" Alec began, but was cut off by a glare from Adriann and an excited cry from Original Cindy.

                "Boo!!!" Cindy squealed, throwing her arms around Max's shoulders.

                "O.C.!" Max said, happily and hugged her back.

                "Max?! Hey, where've you been?" Alec asked, hugging his sister.

                "Hi Alec." Max smiled, but quickly returned her attention to Original Cindy, who was talking a mile a minute.

                "Dre?" Alec whispered, his tone speaking volumes.

                "I've got to go do…something." She muttered.

                "Are you okay?" He asked, moving behind her chair to whisper in her ear.  He could only imagine the thoughts racing through her head.

                "I'm fine." Adrian lied, looking away from her brother knowing her eyes would give her away.  "I'll be right back.  I've got a quick errand to run, but I'll be back in a few." She said loud enough for the whole table to hear.

                "Okay." Max smiled, happy to be around her friends again.

                Quietly, Adriann slipped out the back door and walked to her car, dreading the next few moments.

*-*

                'Okay Dre…you can do this.  You have to do this.'  Adriann was pulled back into reality by the bell ringing as the elevator doors opened to the Penthouse.  'Here we go.  Just don't let him see you cry.  He'll know something's up if you cry.  Better yet, just don't cry…you'll never stop if you do.  And right now, I don't have time for that.'

                As she opened the door Adriann was hit with the scent of roses and the Cale Family Recipe Chicken.  The entire apartment was lit up by hundreds of candles, the soft glow of the dancing flames brought a warm feel to the room.  In addition to the random bouquets of roses set in vases around the  penthouse, there was a trail of rose petals from the door to living room and to the dinning room.  Rose petals were strewn about the table as well. 

                'Oh my God.  It's sooo beautiful.  It's almost like a dream.  He really put a lot of effort into this.  I wish that…no…do not go there Dre.  Not if you want to get through this in one piece and still be able to look at yourself in the mirror.'  Adriann stood facing the dinning room, taking in her surroundings, memorizing every last detail.

                "Hey.  You're early." Logan whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. 

                "Yeah, I guess I am."  She said, relaxing in his arms for a moment.  "Logan,"

                "Uh-oh.  Nothing good ever starts with that tone." Logan stepped around to face her.  "What's wrong?"  He asked, clearly concerned.

                "Everything is absolutely beautiful, dinner smells wonderful,  you look….fantastic, which makes me hate to do this even more than I already do." Adriann trailed off.

                "What is it Dre?" Logan said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

                "I think we're going to need to reschedule our evening." She said, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to look him in the eye.  "There's someone who really needs to see you."

                "Can't they wait?" Logan asked, his eyes showing his disappointment she knew he was trying to hide.

                "I wouldn't do this if they could.  I'm so sorry.  You put so much effort into all of this." Adriann apologized.

                "I know.  You wanted this as much as I did, but good things to come to those who wait, right ?" Logan said, trying to console her.

                "That's what I've heard."

                'Though it's not what I've learned through experience.'

                "We can do this another time.  What matters is we know how we feel about each other." Logan pulled Adriann to his chest and rested his cheek on the top of her head.  "We've got all the time in the world for candle light dinners and rose petals." He whispered.

                'Logan, stop being you!  You're making it a lot harder to go through with.  God you smell good.  Can't you just be a jerk or something…that would make it so much easier.'

                "You okay?" Logan asked, pulling back slightly.

                "Yeah.  I'm fine.  Just a little disappointed is all." Adriann told him, as tears shown in her eyes.  "But – umm…I've got to go pick…them…up.  So, I'll see you in a few.  And you might want to clean up as much of this as possible.  Don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or guilty for obviously getting in the way of your plans."  Adriann said, switching into her soldier mode as much as she could, pushing her emotions to the side.

                "Yeah, you're right." Logan nodded.
                "I should be back in about 15 minutes." Adriann informed, looking up at him, unable to move from his arms or look him in the eye.

                "Dre?"

                "Yeah?"

                Logan slowly leaned forward, and placed a soft and infinitely perfect kiss on Adriann's lips.  In the moments that passed during the kiss, Adriann's heart began to break and a tear slid down her cheek.  She never wanted to leave this – to leave him…to lose him.  He was everything she would ever want.

                "I love you." He told her, holding her face in his hands.

                'Oh God, Logan don't say that.  Not now.  Please don't say that…but most of all…don't mean it.  Not with what I have to do.'

                "I'll see you soon." Adriann spun around and hurried through the door and down to the lobby.

*-*

                Adriann walked into Crash, cutting through the growing crowd with ease.  Max, Cindy, and Alec were exactly where she had left them, only with a small crowd gathered around the table saying their hellos and welcome backs to Max.

                Seeing her walk into the bar, Alec broke away from the group to meet her a few feet from the table.

                "Hey.  How you holding up?" Alec asked, laying his hand on her arm.

                "Alec, I'm fine.  I told you I was fine." Adriann told him, plastering a fake smile on her face.

                "Yeah, you told me.  But that doesn't mean that I believe you." 

                "I'm fine Alec.  I don't have any other choice than to be fine." Adriann told him, looking him straight in the eye, praying that her emotions wouldn't show.  She hadn't been the soldier with a number for a name in so long, that Adriann was out of practice when it came to hiding everything that made her human.  She usually considered that a good thing.

                "Okay, you're fine.  So what are you gonna do?" Alec asked, finally seeing the pain in his sisters eyes that he knew was there.

                "The same thing I always do, Alec.  Whatever I have to so my family's happy.  I'm bringing Max to Logan." She said flatly.

                "When?" Alec asked, his mind reeling.

                "Now." Stepping past Alec, Adriann took the last steps to the table.  "Hey Maxie?"

                "Yea?" Max said, looking up from her conversation with Sketchy and Original Cindy about Normal's never ending abrasive nature.

                "You think I could steal you for a while?" Adriann asked, in feigned cheer.

                "Yeah.  Sure." Max replied, sensing where her sister was headed with this. 

                "Wait.  I just get my Boo back and you're already stealing her away from me?" Cindy asked, pretending to be hurt.  But she knew as well as anyone at the table, that Adriann was taking Max to see Logan.

                "Only for a little while Cindy.  I promise she'll be home by curfew." She smiled.

                "Aiight.  Be good Boo." Original Cindy smiled, watching her two friends walk out of the building.  Turning in her seat to face Alec, Cindy's smile quickly faded.  "What's my Lil' Boo gonna do?"

                "Something only Adriann would." He sighed, slowly sitting down on the stool beside her.

*-*

                "I don't think I can do this, Dre." Max said quietly, as she stared at the penthouse door.

                "Would you rather him find out that you're back from someone else and wonder why you haven't come to see him yet?" Adriann asked, as she put her hand on the door handle.  "Because he will find out sooner or later, and I'm not going to lie to him for you."

                "I know.  But, it's been so long." She muttered, still frozen in place.

                "Max, I think you at least owe him this." Adriann's eyes locked onto her sister's as she turned the handle and gently swung the door open.  "After you." Adriann said, fluidly sweeping her arm in front of her body.

                Slowly, Max began to walk through the door frame, knowing Adriann was right.  She owed Logan a 'hello' at the least.

                'Well Dre, you've just crossed the point of no return.  I hope you're ready for this.'

                All the memories of the last time she was in the penthouse flooded Max's memory as she entered the living room.  It was nearly identical to the way she remembered it, only now there were touches of Dre in the decorating, art, and music.  The faint smell of a Cale Family recipe hung in the air, and the usual sound of Logan's fingers flying across the keyboard floated from his office.  Max smile at the comfort and familiarity of it all.  Now she really felt as though she were home.

                "Dre, that you?" Logan called, pushing his chair away from his desk and walking out to greet her and whomever it was who needed his help. 

                Max froze at the sound of Logan's voice, she'd almost forgot what it sounded like.  Coming around the corner to see who had just come in the door, Logan stopped in mid-step as he came face to face with Max.

                Adriann watch from the hall as Logan's face went from surprise after nearly colliding with someone to disbelief that Max, his Max was back and actually standing in front of him.

                "Max?" Logan croaked, his mouth suddenly dry.

                "Hi." Max whispered, tears glistening in her eyes, hardly believing that it was really him.

                "What…..where….why…." Logan stuttered, as tears filled his eyes.

                "I'm sorry."

                "Can we?" Logan whispered, never taking her eyes from hers.

                "Yeah." She nodded, tears spilling over onto her cheeks.

                Not wanting to see what happened next, Adriann closed her eyes and silently walked to her room knowing that neither of them would notice.  All they could see was each other.  'It's supposed to be this way.  You knew all along that he'd never love anyone the way he loves Max.  You're doing the right thing Dre, remember that.'  Picking up her messengers bag, Adriann quickly began to pack her most needed possessions, and nothing more.  'I think that's everything.'  Scanning the room quickly for anything she may have forgotten, her eyes stopped on her wall covered with pictures.  Reaching over she pulled one from the center and put it in her jacket pocket, and headed for the door.  Cutting through the kitchen to avoid the living room and the majority of the hall, Adriann slipped out unnoticed.

                Pausing with her palm on the door, Adriann took a deep steadying breath.

                "I love you, Logan Cale." She whispered, as the elevator doors opened behind her.  Turning rigidly and walking into the elevator, Adriann said her final goodbyes as the doors closed off her vision of the penthouse for the final time.

*-*

You're so tired of the straight line,

And everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twistin',

You keep on building the lies that you make up for all that you lack.

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time.

It's easier to believe, in this sweet madness,

Oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees.

*-*

                Alec opened his apartment door to find Adriann down on one knee with a lock pick.

                "I thought I heard you picking the lock.  You know you have a key, you should try using it sometime." He smiled, offering her a hand up.

                "Whatever." Adriann grunted, getting up o her own and walking through the door.

                "Hey?  Dre, what happened?" Alec called, following her to the back room where she had already sat down in the window seat.

                "I'm sure you can guess." She replied, looking out the window.

                "Okay…" Alec sighed, and sat down on an old stool nearby.  "Can I get you anything, help…maybe?"

                "No."

                "Alright."

                "I went to the Space Needle for a while.  Tried to make some sense of what was going on in my head, figure out what I was gonna do.  But for some reason, I didn't find the solace there that I usually do.  All I found was the cold, brutal wind and some new graffiti.  So, I got back in my car and came here.  I didn't know where else to go.  This is the only place that's actually a refuge for me now.  Everywhere else and everyone else, they were all Max's first.  Cindy, Jam Pony, Crash, The Space Needle, Logan…everywhere that I would run to…" Adriann explained, still looking out the window. 

                "I'm glad you came here.  I was worried about you." Alec said, laying his hand on hers.

                "When I was up on the Needle, I found myself wishing that Max had never come back.  But, what kind of person wishes for that?  I missed her as much as anyone, and I wanted her to come home for so long.  But I never thought of…of the aftershock." Adriann admitted, looking at Alec.  Her face was completely blank -  free from any kind of emotion.  Her eyes would look dead if not for the unbearable sorrow at their core.  Alec had never seen anyone like this, let alone his sister.  Adriann was always the one who wore her heart on her sleeve.  Seeing her without any emotion at all, scared him to death.

                "Dre, I don't know what happened or how you feel and I'm not going to pretend I do, but I'm here if you need me."

                "I feel so numb.  Alec, I can't even cry." She said, with the first sign of emotion since she'd come in.  "I wouldn't let myself before, it would have just gotten in the way, but now that I want to I can't."

                "What happened Dre?" Alec pressed.  "Talk to me, please."

*-*

In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel

You are pulled from your wreckage of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel,

May you find some comfort here.

*-*

"God, Alec, I never meant for this to happen.  I didn't plan it.  The thought never crossed my mind until…I mean…" Adriann turned her face back towards the window looking at Alec's reflection in it.  "Logan and Max had been that sort of constant, you know?  Sure, there were times when one or both of them was being unbelievably stubborn, but that connection between them was always there.  I did everything in my power to protect that.  The possibility that one of us could find love, stability, a sense of safety and trust in someone's arms was so unimaginable that I couldn't risk losing it – even if it wasn't mine.  I fought my way out of the shadows to get to Max, and I risked my life to save that relationship and protect it from it's biggest  threat - Manticore.  Then all of a sudden, everything got so messed up, the world turned upside down.  That one constant of Max and Logan was…gone.  Max gave up.  That was something I never expected and I never saw coming.  So there I was, left to pick up the pieces of my best friend's broken heart.  He looked so lost, and I didn't have the first idea of what to say to him to make it better and take away the pain.  And of course, while all this was going on I had issues of my own to deal with, but staying true to character, I put me on the back burner to take care of Logan.  But somewhere between then and now…I did the one thing I never thought I would do.  I…I…I fell in love him Alec." Adriann said blankly, wishing that she could get the weight she felt off her chest.

"I didn't expect to.  I didn't ask to.  I didn't want to.  It would only complicate things, and you know how much I hate complications." She sighed, turning back towards her brother.  "But it happened, and I was helpless to do anything about it.  And just maybe, he really and truly started to fall for me too.  Because he kissed me.  He filled the penthouse with hundreds of candles and rose petals and he cooked me dinner and asked me out on a formal date.  And I admit it…I loved every minute of it.  I loved the way he looked me, I loved the attention he gave me, I loved…being…his."

"But none of that matters now.  My feelings don't matter now, because Max is back.  The woman who had always been the center of Logan's world has returned to it.  So I'm taking my cue, and I'm taking a step back and I'm walking away.  I'm leaving it all behind; my family, my friends, my home, my first chance at true happiness.  I'm doing the only thing that I can, what's right, no matter how much hurts." Something inside Adriann finally broke, letting a tear roll down her cheek.  "I'm giving Max back what really is hers and always has been.  Logan's heart was never mine to take."

"So what now?" Alec asked, wiping the tear from his sisters face, happy that she could finally cry.

"I don't know, and I don't really care.  I just want…to go" Adriann looked up at her brother through her tears.  "Everything here reminds me of something that makes me want to cry.  And I will not walk around like a blubbering idiot.  I won't.  Zack was right you know…emotions are weakness.  And up until now, they have always been my greatest strength.  So what do you do when your strengths are your weakness and your weaknesses are your strengths?  What do you do when something inside you dies?  What do you do?  What do you do?" She asked, breaking down in Alec's arms.

"I don't know Dre.  I wish I did." Alec whispered, rocking his broken sister in his arms.  He had never seen her like this and it broke his heart.  She had always been the strong one, his pillar of strength.  She had always been the one that people turned to when they need a shoulder to cry on, advice, or someone to talk to.  She always knew what to do, what to say, how to fix things.  And now, she was the one who needed someone to come and pick up the pieces and help put them back together, and Alec couldn't help wondering if he could even come close to being the comfort she had always been for him.

"You're gonna be okay Dre.  I promise, you'll be okay."

"I always have been before, so why should this time be any different?  I just can't stay here and watch them…I can't…it hurts too much.  To know that I came so close to actually being happy, and have it ripped away…"

"I'm gonna miss you little one." Alec said, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you, Alec.  You're the best brother I could ever ask for." Adriann whispered into his neck.

"Be careful out there.  Keep your barcode covered." He reminded, brushing his fingers over the back of her neck.

"You too.  Goodbye Alec."  Adriann kissed her brother on the cheek.

"What do I tell Logan and Max when they ask about you?"  Alec called, as she walked away with nothing but a duffel bag on her shoulder.  "Cause they will ask you know."

"I dunno.  Come up with something - use your imagination.  Say I went on a road trip or something."  She answered, waving one last time, as a tear rolled down her cheek.  Adriann wasn't just saying  goodbye to her brother, or sister, or best friend.  She was saying goodbye to the only home she had ever known, and the only place she was ever truly happy.

You're in the arms of the angel.

May you find some comfort here.

~Well there you go, I hope it was worth the wait…let me know if it was.  Remember to review and all that jazz…
And thank you Sarah McLachlan for writing such a great song.