Disclaimer:
I don't own the Power Rangers. I'm just playing with them and will
give them back eventually. I promise. No money changed hands here.
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Jase entered his mom's house and put his keys on the table next to the door. It had been a tiring day, and the emotions he'd spent had cost him more than any fight he'd ever had. He really did want to patch things up with Tommy, and not just for Bill's sake. He genuinely missed his best friend and "Bro", and hoped that they'd been able to reach some common ground. Walking past the door to the den he peeked in to see Bill sleeping quietly in a recliner, a small blue blanket pulled up over him.
Making his way down to the kitchen, he found his mom quietly peeling potatoes while Trini was once again trying to stuff her foot in her mouth over in a portable playpen. "Hi mom," he kissed her gently on the cheek.
"Hello honey. Billy's asleep in the den, so be quiet."
"Yes, ma'am," Jason replied sitting down at the table and sighing.
"I take it things didn't go well with Tom after Bill left?" his mom asked.
Jason shook his head, "I think he'll come around, eventually."
His mom put down the knife and potatoes, and took his hand. "It's time for honesty between us young man." She sighed, "I know that there was something going on between all you and your friends back in high school, but I've always kept my own counsel, and haven't pried." She looked over at his daughter and then back at him. "But now, there's somebody new in the equation, and I want to know what's happening." She lowered her voice, "Bill's not well is he?"
Jason was surprised by the conviction in his mom's voice. That conviction drug up all the past guilt he'd experience about lying to his parents while he was a Power Ranger. The guilt hadn't gotten any better since his father had died last year in a shoot out with some drug dealers. Now, he was facing the ultimate loss in his life and he had nobody he could turn to. He fought back the tears, "No, mom." Jason told her. "He's dying and there's nothing anybody can do about it."
His mom sat back in her chair and thought about what he was saying. He could see her wrestle with something and finally come to a decision, "He's not HIV positive is he?"
Jason shook his head, "No mom. It's not that." He sighed and leaned back in his chair trying to fight back the tears that threatened to burst forth. Tears he couldn't let start, because if he did he wasn't sure they'd ever stop. "A few years ago, Billy got exposed to some kind of radiation. It was while I was away at the Peace Conference. It had something to do with one of the monsters that attack here occasionally, and the Power Rangers. Anyway, Billy got a heavy dose of something that is slowly killing him." He looked at his mom, "I'm sorry we didn't tell you before now, but he didn't want it out that he was dying."
"And that's why you and Tommy making peace is so important to him?"
Jason nodded. "He doesn't want to leave me without my best friend and my." fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. Standing up, he forced himself to be calm, to slow his heart rate, and to viscously cut off the part of his mind that wanted break down.
A warm hand rested lightly on his shoulder, "You don't have to be strong for me, Son." His mom told him.
"It's not that, Mom." He sighed and looked at the wall, "I promised myself that I wouldn't cry for him until it was time." He shook his head, "I can't let him see me out of control. He feels bad enough about leaving me and Trini, that I can't add anymore pain to him."
"Is there any pain?" his mother asked. "For him I mean?"
Jason shook his head, "No. Not yet. The doctor says that it's going to come though. Whatever it is, it's slowly leeching the calcium from his bones. He's so fragile now that it's frightening. Not in the far distant future, he's not even going to be able to walk, because his own weight will break them." He shook his head, "That is if he doesn't just go to sleep and not wake up before then." Jason couldn't tell his mom, that Adam and Bill suspected it to be a side effect of the combination of his exposure to the Mists of Morpheus in the Dark Dimension and the dose of negative protons he took in the Power Chamber. "That is if he doesn't fall down and break something that will kill him, first."
"So what are you going to do about Tommy?" his mom asked.
Jason shook his head, "I don't know. I want to mend fences with him, but right now, that's not that important to me." He sighed and turned to look at her, "Right now, I just want to make Bill well."
"I see. This is something Billy wants for you?" his mom asked.
Jason nodded, "It's something I want for me too, but right now it's just not that important to me."
He could feel his mom hug him from behind, "But it's important to Bill, and because of that, you're trying now."
"Yeah," Jase told him.
"Does Ed know?" she asked.
"Yeah, he knows. I'm He wasn't too happy about our relationship. He was even less happy about Trini." Jason could feel his anger rising this time. "I think that this is the first thing Bill has told him since we came out that his Dad approves of," Jase said, not trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.
The things Bill's father had said to him when they told him that Bill was dying were horrible. Jase had watched Bill sit there and listen to his father go on and on about how it was his just reward for turning out the way he did. At one point, Jase had been tempted to shut the man up, but a firm hand on his arm had stopped him. He had looked over and seen the pleading sadness in Bill's eyes and had simply gone out to wait in the car. Bill finally came out of the house he'd grown up in and got in the car. The only words he'd spoken for the rest of the day were, "Let's go. There's nothing here for me anymore." Those words had broken Jason's heart.
"I'm sorry, Jason. I know Bill and his dad have never been close, but I didn't think that he would go as far as to wish his son ill," his mom said.
"Neither did I. I guess I was always hoping that he'd eventually come around, but I guess that's not going to happen." He returned to the chair at the table, "I think that this is why he wants me to make up with Tommy. He lost his dad because he's gay. He doesn't want me to lose Tommy."
"Jase, that's Tommy's decision." His mom took his hand and gently squeezed it. "It has nothing to do with you or Bill."
"I know mom, but I think Bill is getting desperate," Jase told her. "You know, he once told me that there were two extraordinary events in his life. The day he met me, and the day we brought Trini home." He shook his head, "Do you have any idea the kind of pressure that puts on me?"
"That was not my intention, Jason," Billy's sleepy voice came from the door. He looked over to Jason's mom. "I take it he told you?"
His mom nodded, got up and went over and hugged him, "I'm glad he told me, Bill. You're like a son to me. Don't begrudge me at least the chance to prepare." Jason realized that neither he nor his mom had a chance to really prepare for his father's death. Sure they knew it could come, but knowing it could and having it happen were not the same.
"She's right Bill," Jason started to say.
Bill just held up a hand, "I'm not arguing with you Jase." He turned to Jase's mom, "I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner, but I just didn't know how." He shook his head, "You've had so much loss lately, I didn't want to add to it."
"And you think having Jason just calling me up one day and telling me you'd died would save me from that?" Jason's mom asked with not a small amount of anger in her voice.
"No, ma'am." Bill hung his head. "I was just hoping it would let you have a few weeks with your granddaughter without this hanging over your head." He shot Jason a look that meant the Red Ranger was going to get an earful when they were alone.
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"Did you and Tommy get things worked out?" Bill asked as Jason came to bed. He'd tried to explain how important these things were to him, but for some reason Jason just wouldn't listen.
"We're working on it," Jase told him. "Things didn't fall apart over night, and their not going to be healed over night, Bill."
Bill nodded and replied, "I know." He smiled mischievously and continued, "But I can hope can't I."
"That's a strange word coming from you Bill." Jase told him sadly as he got into the large bed in the guest room.
"Hope, why Jason?" Bill asked as he pulled his lover's face close to his. "Do you think I've given up hope?"
Jason pulled back and looked at him, "Haven't you?"
Bill sighed and tried to explain to Jason once again, "There is a difference between acceptance and giving up hope. Do I wish that somebody would come through that door now with a cure? Yes. Do I think it's likely to happen? No. So, the best I can do is duck my head and wait for something to change. I've accepted what's going to happen to me. That doesn't mean that I like it. It doesn't mean that I won't fight it tooth and nail." He gently ran his hand down Jason's side and then pulled him tightly against him, letting Jason feel the effect that his proximity was having on his own body. "I have too much to live for, just to roll over and die without a fight." He gently began to bite on Jason's earlobe.
"Bill?" Jason asked with a warning voice, "Do you think this is a good idea?" Billy could tell from the changes in lover's body that he was having the desired effect.
"Jason, I think anytime I can get you in my arms it's a good idea," He whispered nibbling down his lover's neck.
"Okay, but you asked for it," Jason kissed him gently but firmly.
"Then what are you waiting for?" Bill teased, "Give it to me."
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Jase entered his mom's house and put his keys on the table next to the door. It had been a tiring day, and the emotions he'd spent had cost him more than any fight he'd ever had. He really did want to patch things up with Tommy, and not just for Bill's sake. He genuinely missed his best friend and "Bro", and hoped that they'd been able to reach some common ground. Walking past the door to the den he peeked in to see Bill sleeping quietly in a recliner, a small blue blanket pulled up over him.
Making his way down to the kitchen, he found his mom quietly peeling potatoes while Trini was once again trying to stuff her foot in her mouth over in a portable playpen. "Hi mom," he kissed her gently on the cheek.
"Hello honey. Billy's asleep in the den, so be quiet."
"Yes, ma'am," Jason replied sitting down at the table and sighing.
"I take it things didn't go well with Tom after Bill left?" his mom asked.
Jason shook his head, "I think he'll come around, eventually."
His mom put down the knife and potatoes, and took his hand. "It's time for honesty between us young man." She sighed, "I know that there was something going on between all you and your friends back in high school, but I've always kept my own counsel, and haven't pried." She looked over at his daughter and then back at him. "But now, there's somebody new in the equation, and I want to know what's happening." She lowered her voice, "Bill's not well is he?"
Jason was surprised by the conviction in his mom's voice. That conviction drug up all the past guilt he'd experience about lying to his parents while he was a Power Ranger. The guilt hadn't gotten any better since his father had died last year in a shoot out with some drug dealers. Now, he was facing the ultimate loss in his life and he had nobody he could turn to. He fought back the tears, "No, mom." Jason told her. "He's dying and there's nothing anybody can do about it."
His mom sat back in her chair and thought about what he was saying. He could see her wrestle with something and finally come to a decision, "He's not HIV positive is he?"
Jason shook his head, "No mom. It's not that." He sighed and leaned back in his chair trying to fight back the tears that threatened to burst forth. Tears he couldn't let start, because if he did he wasn't sure they'd ever stop. "A few years ago, Billy got exposed to some kind of radiation. It was while I was away at the Peace Conference. It had something to do with one of the monsters that attack here occasionally, and the Power Rangers. Anyway, Billy got a heavy dose of something that is slowly killing him." He looked at his mom, "I'm sorry we didn't tell you before now, but he didn't want it out that he was dying."
"And that's why you and Tommy making peace is so important to him?"
Jason nodded. "He doesn't want to leave me without my best friend and my." fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. Standing up, he forced himself to be calm, to slow his heart rate, and to viscously cut off the part of his mind that wanted break down.
A warm hand rested lightly on his shoulder, "You don't have to be strong for me, Son." His mom told him.
"It's not that, Mom." He sighed and looked at the wall, "I promised myself that I wouldn't cry for him until it was time." He shook his head, "I can't let him see me out of control. He feels bad enough about leaving me and Trini, that I can't add anymore pain to him."
"Is there any pain?" his mother asked. "For him I mean?"
Jason shook his head, "No. Not yet. The doctor says that it's going to come though. Whatever it is, it's slowly leeching the calcium from his bones. He's so fragile now that it's frightening. Not in the far distant future, he's not even going to be able to walk, because his own weight will break them." He shook his head, "That is if he doesn't just go to sleep and not wake up before then." Jason couldn't tell his mom, that Adam and Bill suspected it to be a side effect of the combination of his exposure to the Mists of Morpheus in the Dark Dimension and the dose of negative protons he took in the Power Chamber. "That is if he doesn't fall down and break something that will kill him, first."
"So what are you going to do about Tommy?" his mom asked.
Jason shook his head, "I don't know. I want to mend fences with him, but right now, that's not that important to me." He sighed and turned to look at her, "Right now, I just want to make Bill well."
"I see. This is something Billy wants for you?" his mom asked.
Jason nodded, "It's something I want for me too, but right now it's just not that important to me."
He could feel his mom hug him from behind, "But it's important to Bill, and because of that, you're trying now."
"Yeah," Jase told him.
"Does Ed know?" she asked.
"Yeah, he knows. I'm He wasn't too happy about our relationship. He was even less happy about Trini." Jason could feel his anger rising this time. "I think that this is the first thing Bill has told him since we came out that his Dad approves of," Jase said, not trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.
The things Bill's father had said to him when they told him that Bill was dying were horrible. Jase had watched Bill sit there and listen to his father go on and on about how it was his just reward for turning out the way he did. At one point, Jase had been tempted to shut the man up, but a firm hand on his arm had stopped him. He had looked over and seen the pleading sadness in Bill's eyes and had simply gone out to wait in the car. Bill finally came out of the house he'd grown up in and got in the car. The only words he'd spoken for the rest of the day were, "Let's go. There's nothing here for me anymore." Those words had broken Jason's heart.
"I'm sorry, Jason. I know Bill and his dad have never been close, but I didn't think that he would go as far as to wish his son ill," his mom said.
"Neither did I. I guess I was always hoping that he'd eventually come around, but I guess that's not going to happen." He returned to the chair at the table, "I think that this is why he wants me to make up with Tommy. He lost his dad because he's gay. He doesn't want me to lose Tommy."
"Jase, that's Tommy's decision." His mom took his hand and gently squeezed it. "It has nothing to do with you or Bill."
"I know mom, but I think Bill is getting desperate," Jase told her. "You know, he once told me that there were two extraordinary events in his life. The day he met me, and the day we brought Trini home." He shook his head, "Do you have any idea the kind of pressure that puts on me?"
"That was not my intention, Jason," Billy's sleepy voice came from the door. He looked over to Jason's mom. "I take it he told you?"
His mom nodded, got up and went over and hugged him, "I'm glad he told me, Bill. You're like a son to me. Don't begrudge me at least the chance to prepare." Jason realized that neither he nor his mom had a chance to really prepare for his father's death. Sure they knew it could come, but knowing it could and having it happen were not the same.
"She's right Bill," Jason started to say.
Bill just held up a hand, "I'm not arguing with you Jase." He turned to Jase's mom, "I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner, but I just didn't know how." He shook his head, "You've had so much loss lately, I didn't want to add to it."
"And you think having Jason just calling me up one day and telling me you'd died would save me from that?" Jason's mom asked with not a small amount of anger in her voice.
"No, ma'am." Bill hung his head. "I was just hoping it would let you have a few weeks with your granddaughter without this hanging over your head." He shot Jason a look that meant the Red Ranger was going to get an earful when they were alone.
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"Did you and Tommy get things worked out?" Bill asked as Jason came to bed. He'd tried to explain how important these things were to him, but for some reason Jason just wouldn't listen.
"We're working on it," Jase told him. "Things didn't fall apart over night, and their not going to be healed over night, Bill."
Bill nodded and replied, "I know." He smiled mischievously and continued, "But I can hope can't I."
"That's a strange word coming from you Bill." Jase told him sadly as he got into the large bed in the guest room.
"Hope, why Jason?" Bill asked as he pulled his lover's face close to his. "Do you think I've given up hope?"
Jason pulled back and looked at him, "Haven't you?"
Bill sighed and tried to explain to Jason once again, "There is a difference between acceptance and giving up hope. Do I wish that somebody would come through that door now with a cure? Yes. Do I think it's likely to happen? No. So, the best I can do is duck my head and wait for something to change. I've accepted what's going to happen to me. That doesn't mean that I like it. It doesn't mean that I won't fight it tooth and nail." He gently ran his hand down Jason's side and then pulled him tightly against him, letting Jason feel the effect that his proximity was having on his own body. "I have too much to live for, just to roll over and die without a fight." He gently began to bite on Jason's earlobe.
"Bill?" Jason asked with a warning voice, "Do you think this is a good idea?" Billy could tell from the changes in lover's body that he was having the desired effect.
"Jason, I think anytime I can get you in my arms it's a good idea," He whispered nibbling down his lover's neck.
"Okay, but you asked for it," Jason kissed him gently but firmly.
"Then what are you waiting for?" Bill teased, "Give it to me."
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