Halloweenie.
THE FINAL SCRIPT
Scene 1: The Intro Scene
Caption: 29th October 2002.
Caption: Halloweenie House.
Long shot of the house. Belinda Lair is in the kitchen, when the phone rings.
Belinda: Hello.
Killer: Do you like scary movies? Belinda: Nope.
Belinda hangs up as Father Pineto enters with a briefcase.
Father Pineto: Who was that?
Belinda: Just some survey. Hey, I see you finally bought yourself a briefcase to carry all that exorcism junk about.
Father Pineto: Belinda, this junk provides our income.
Belinda: I know, but an Exorcist just doesn't get paid enough.
Father Pineto: Yeah, it's a hard job, putting up with vomit, pee and things with crucifixes I'd rather not talk about. And anyway the suitcase is not mine.
Belinda: Then, whose is it?
Father Pineto: I don't know. I found it near a plane crash in the woods and decided to bring it home.
Belinda: Why? Anything could be inside! A bomb, fake Rollex watches or. money!
Father Pineto: Whoa! Fake Rollex watches.
The front door slowly creaks open and Father Pineto and Belinda look scared. Turns out the wind did it.
Father Pineto: Anyway.
A bang on the window is heard. Father Pineto slowly opens the sliding door and the cat comes running in.
Father Pineto: Oh, kitty. If it's money.
A knife is heard. Father Pineto looks up scared.
Belinda: Sorry, just getting a knife.
Father Pineto looks towards the door again and another knife is heard.
Belinda: Sorry.
Father Pineto: What I've been trying to say is.
Another knife is heard.
Father Pineto: Will you stop doing that?
Belinda: That wasn't me. They both look towards the knife box. The cat is up there.
Father Pineto: Kitty get down.
The cat runs away.
Father Pineto: If money is inside, do we keep it or hand it in?
Belinda: Look we don't know what's inside so let's open it first.
Father Pineto: I can't it's got a password lock.
Belinda: Then we'll pry it open with a crow-bar.
Father Pineto: Alright.
Belinda: Come on.
Father Pineto: Do you have a crow-bar on you?
Belinda: No.
Father Pineto: Well I don't.
Belinda: Let's just try a code.
While they do this the door slowly opens and the killer sneaks in. He tries to close the door gently but accidentally slams it.
Belinda: Just the wind again.
As he tries to sneak around the bench, he trips and falls into the window.
Father Pineto: Just the cat again.
The killer pulls out his knife and a knife sound is heard.
Belinda: Just me again.
Father Pineto: But you're.
The killer leaps up.
Belinda: Oh my god.
Father Pineto: Run!
Belinda starts running up the stairs.
Father Pineto: Not the stairs, the door. Belinda: Oh.
Killer: Women!
Pineto runs into the hallway and the killer follows him. Pineto holds up his holy tick.
Father Pineto: Evil spirit I command you to be gone, evil spirit I command you.
Killer: What the hell?
Father Pineto: It's a holy tick.
Killer: Huh?
Father Pineto: I think they're friendly than crosses.
Killer: Good for you.
The killer stabs him in the gut Father Pineto jumps away in pain and drops his tick. The killer picks up the holy tick.
Killer: Suck tick!
The killer shoves it into his mouth and Pineto chokes. He collapses dead.
Killer: (Grunts)
The killer turns on the outside light and opens the door. Belinda is out there.
Belinda: I forgot my shoes.
She grabs her shoes and then starts running. The killer realizes she is not very smart and starts following her slowly. She comes to a fence and desperately tries to get over it, she tries for about 30 seconds when she realizes the gate is open. She runs all the way around the house and she meets the killer again. She runs back the other way and meets the killer again. Next time the killer has set up a deckchair and is asleep. The killer notices some rope and picks it up. We cut back to Belinda who is running. She stops.
Belinda: Where'd he go?
The camera zooms out from her face and a noose is around her head. The killer pulls the other end of the rope behind the tree. Belinda flies up.
Belinda: Aarrgh! Yeh I can fly!
Killer: What! I'm hanging you.
Belinda: Excuse me.
Killer: I'm killing you.
Belinda: Well, my neck does feel a little sore but you know I have been sleeping badly..
Killer: What? Of course it's sore! You're hanging by it!
Belinda: Look when you've finished with your game of "Hang Man" I'll just go back inside.
Killer: Fine.
The killer pulls the rope harder.
Belinda: Are we finished now?
Killer: No! You're not dead!
Belinda: How long is this going to take? Come on.
Killer: Well you could make it a lot easier by just dying!
Belinda: But I don't want to die! C'mon I'm missing Lethal Confidence.
Killer: I don't give a shit whether you want to die or not. And anyway, Lethal Confidence is crap, it's made by a Mexican, what do you expect?
The killer gives a large pull on the rope and the noose falls on him. He turns around and notices Belinda is gone.
Killer: Oh crap!
The killer rushes inside. Belinda is in the kitchen.
Belinda: Oh, do you knock?
The killer grabs her around the neck and carries her outside, puts her in the noose and pulls the rope.
Belinda: Now what?
Killer: God damn it, I'm hanging you. I'm trying to bloody kill you!
Belinda: Well you're not very good at it.
Killer: Shut up!
The killer is suddenly pulled up into the air. Belinda is pulling the rope.
Killer: Woohoo! Ha ha! Nah. Put me down! Belinda: Okay.
She lets go of the rope and the killer comes crashing down.
Killer: You're dead.
Belinda: Well you'd think so by now but no still breathing.
The killer runs and grabs her and starts rapidly and violently stabbing her.
Killer: Die! Die! Die!
Belinda lies dead on the ground and the killer slowly walks away. She leaps up.
Belinda: Ha, ha.
Killer: Aaargh!
He stabs her one last time.
Killer: Oh. I gotta get a new job.
He walks away and Belinda jumps up.
Belinda: Ha! I'm not dead!
The killer pulls out his knife and throws it at her. She is now dead.
Killer: You are now.
Caption: 2 days later.
Scene 1: The Intro Scene
Caption: 29th October 2002.
Caption: Halloweenie House.
Long shot of the house. Belinda Lair is in the kitchen, when the phone rings.
Belinda: Hello.
Killer: Do you like scary movies? Belinda: Nope.
Belinda hangs up as Father Pineto enters with a briefcase.
Father Pineto: Who was that?
Belinda: Just some survey. Hey, I see you finally bought yourself a briefcase to carry all that exorcism junk about.
Father Pineto: Belinda, this junk provides our income.
Belinda: I know, but an Exorcist just doesn't get paid enough.
Father Pineto: Yeah, it's a hard job, putting up with vomit, pee and things with crucifixes I'd rather not talk about. And anyway the suitcase is not mine.
Belinda: Then, whose is it?
Father Pineto: I don't know. I found it near a plane crash in the woods and decided to bring it home.
Belinda: Why? Anything could be inside! A bomb, fake Rollex watches or. money!
Father Pineto: Whoa! Fake Rollex watches.
The front door slowly creaks open and Father Pineto and Belinda look scared. Turns out the wind did it.
Father Pineto: Anyway.
A bang on the window is heard. Father Pineto slowly opens the sliding door and the cat comes running in.
Father Pineto: Oh, kitty. If it's money.
A knife is heard. Father Pineto looks up scared.
Belinda: Sorry, just getting a knife.
Father Pineto looks towards the door again and another knife is heard.
Belinda: Sorry.
Father Pineto: What I've been trying to say is.
Another knife is heard.
Father Pineto: Will you stop doing that?
Belinda: That wasn't me. They both look towards the knife box. The cat is up there.
Father Pineto: Kitty get down.
The cat runs away.
Father Pineto: If money is inside, do we keep it or hand it in?
Belinda: Look we don't know what's inside so let's open it first.
Father Pineto: I can't it's got a password lock.
Belinda: Then we'll pry it open with a crow-bar.
Father Pineto: Alright.
Belinda: Come on.
Father Pineto: Do you have a crow-bar on you?
Belinda: No.
Father Pineto: Well I don't.
Belinda: Let's just try a code.
While they do this the door slowly opens and the killer sneaks in. He tries to close the door gently but accidentally slams it.
Belinda: Just the wind again.
As he tries to sneak around the bench, he trips and falls into the window.
Father Pineto: Just the cat again.
The killer pulls out his knife and a knife sound is heard.
Belinda: Just me again.
Father Pineto: But you're.
The killer leaps up.
Belinda: Oh my god.
Father Pineto: Run!
Belinda starts running up the stairs.
Father Pineto: Not the stairs, the door. Belinda: Oh.
Killer: Women!
Pineto runs into the hallway and the killer follows him. Pineto holds up his holy tick.
Father Pineto: Evil spirit I command you to be gone, evil spirit I command you.
Killer: What the hell?
Father Pineto: It's a holy tick.
Killer: Huh?
Father Pineto: I think they're friendly than crosses.
Killer: Good for you.
The killer stabs him in the gut Father Pineto jumps away in pain and drops his tick. The killer picks up the holy tick.
Killer: Suck tick!
The killer shoves it into his mouth and Pineto chokes. He collapses dead.
Killer: (Grunts)
The killer turns on the outside light and opens the door. Belinda is out there.
Belinda: I forgot my shoes.
She grabs her shoes and then starts running. The killer realizes she is not very smart and starts following her slowly. She comes to a fence and desperately tries to get over it, she tries for about 30 seconds when she realizes the gate is open. She runs all the way around the house and she meets the killer again. She runs back the other way and meets the killer again. Next time the killer has set up a deckchair and is asleep. The killer notices some rope and picks it up. We cut back to Belinda who is running. She stops.
Belinda: Where'd he go?
The camera zooms out from her face and a noose is around her head. The killer pulls the other end of the rope behind the tree. Belinda flies up.
Belinda: Aarrgh! Yeh I can fly!
Killer: What! I'm hanging you.
Belinda: Excuse me.
Killer: I'm killing you.
Belinda: Well, my neck does feel a little sore but you know I have been sleeping badly..
Killer: What? Of course it's sore! You're hanging by it!
Belinda: Look when you've finished with your game of "Hang Man" I'll just go back inside.
Killer: Fine.
The killer pulls the rope harder.
Belinda: Are we finished now?
Killer: No! You're not dead!
Belinda: How long is this going to take? Come on.
Killer: Well you could make it a lot easier by just dying!
Belinda: But I don't want to die! C'mon I'm missing Lethal Confidence.
Killer: I don't give a shit whether you want to die or not. And anyway, Lethal Confidence is crap, it's made by a Mexican, what do you expect?
The killer gives a large pull on the rope and the noose falls on him. He turns around and notices Belinda is gone.
Killer: Oh crap!
The killer rushes inside. Belinda is in the kitchen.
Belinda: Oh, do you knock?
The killer grabs her around the neck and carries her outside, puts her in the noose and pulls the rope.
Belinda: Now what?
Killer: God damn it, I'm hanging you. I'm trying to bloody kill you!
Belinda: Well you're not very good at it.
Killer: Shut up!
The killer is suddenly pulled up into the air. Belinda is pulling the rope.
Killer: Woohoo! Ha ha! Nah. Put me down! Belinda: Okay.
She lets go of the rope and the killer comes crashing down.
Killer: You're dead.
Belinda: Well you'd think so by now but no still breathing.
The killer runs and grabs her and starts rapidly and violently stabbing her.
Killer: Die! Die! Die!
Belinda lies dead on the ground and the killer slowly walks away. She leaps up.
Belinda: Ha, ha.
Killer: Aaargh!
He stabs her one last time.
Killer: Oh. I gotta get a new job.
He walks away and Belinda jumps up.
Belinda: Ha! I'm not dead!
The killer pulls out his knife and throws it at her. She is now dead.
Killer: You are now.
Caption: 2 days later.