Scene 2: Welcome to Halloweenie House
Caption: 31st October 2003. Halloweenie.
Sorry Now plays as a car pulls up in the carport. Four kids and a man get out of the car. A montage of them collecting luggage and humourous things happen.
Frank: Okay Jordan. Here's the keys. Now be very careful with my car.
Jordan: Thanks, Frank.
Frank: You can call me dad.
Jordan: But you're not my dad. You're my step-dad and I'd rather call you Frank.
Frank: Whatever's good for you.
Jordan: Alright then. See ya Frank. Frank: And Jordan, don't forget, Mrs. Doubtfrank will be keeping an eye on you.
Jordan: I know.
Frank: Bye.
Frank hops into the car.
Jordan: Frank, I've got the car.
Frank: Ah.
Frank starts walking away.
Eddy: Who's Mrs. Doubtfrank?
Jordan: It's this lady Frank dresses up as to keep an eye on me whenever I'm away from home. He really expects me to believe it's another person but the disguise is so terrible.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Hello boys.
Jordan: That's her. Hi Mrs. Doubtfrank.
Jordan waves with his rude finger up.
Eddy: Jordan!
Jordan: Don't worry. She's got really bad eyesight.
Eddy: Oh. Hi there, you old bag.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Oh. You rude little boy!
She storms off angrily.
Jordan: I said eyesight. She's got perfect hearing.
Eddy: Oh.
Eddy and Jordan enter the house. Three other people are also inside. Eddy looks around. Eddy looks disappointed.
Eddy: Why'd you have to invite them Jordan, wouldn't it have been much more fun just you, me, a tub of lubrication cream.
Eddy starts rubbing Jordan's arm.
Jordan: No. I don't think so Eddy.
Jordan removes Eddy's arm.
John: Don't worry Edsy I'm sure we'll have a fright of a time.
John starts laughing hysterically the others look far from amused.
Jordan: Yeh. Now some of you have not met before. Eddy you already know John. This is Lannibal Hecter.
Lannibal: Hello, Eddy. (He sniffs) You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today, that's a girl's perfume.
Eddy: Men can use it too.
Jordan: And this is Phoebe Crookednose.
Phoebe: But you can all call me The Charmed one.
John: More like the can't be darned one. (He laughs)
Lannibal: What?
Jordan: Great. Now that we're all acquainted. I'll begin the tour.
They all enter the lounge room. In there all the furniture is covered with white sheets.
Jordan: Yes, this is the lounge room.
John: Looks like somebody's been doing some painting! (Only he laughs)
They all leave the lounge room and enter the dining room.
Jordan: This is the dining room, there's the kitchen and there's the TV room. Oh and watch out for spider webs.
John: Spider webs! I wouldn't want to get all tied up in one of those!
John starts laughing. No one else does.
Phoebe: This house looks so old. Like it hasn't been touched for years.
Jordan: Well not years but quite a while.
Eddy: How long?
Jordan: 2 days.
John: 2 days more like 2 centuries!
Jordan: No (He slaps John) 2 days. John slaps him back and they start slapping each other like sissys. Lannibal meows.
Jordan: Now follow me upstairs.
Cut to them upstairs. Jordan is counting the beds.
Jordan: 1, 2, 3 ,4. 4 beds.
Eddy: Don't worry Jordan I don't mind sharing.
Jordan: Ah, no that won't be necessary. I think there's a spare bed in one of the cupboards.
Eddy: It was just a suggestion.
Jordan: Yes, and I don't think I like what you were suggesting.
Eddy: What? Oh! God no. Not that! I didn't mean it like that.
John: It seems like Eddy's finally coming out of the closet.
Everybody laughs except Eddy.
Jordan: That was a good one Johnny.
John: All my jokes are good.
Jordan: Right.
Suddenly John freezes.
Jordan: John. (Waves hand in face) Are you alright?
John unfreezes.
Jordan: Are you okay John?
John: What are you talking about? I'm fine.
He freezes again.
Eddy: It's her!
Jordan: Phoebe did you freeze him?
Phoebe: Yeah like I said I'm a Charmed one. A witch.
John unfrozen: Witch? More like bitch.
Phoebe waves her arm and John goes flying hard into a wall. Jordan to Phoebe: Feel free to do that any time you want.
John: Oh. You guys are all freaks.
Jordan: Hmmm. I don't think we have to worry about the bed problem anymore. One of us is sleeping outside.
They all turn to John.
John: Who?
Cut to a window which shows John lying in the dog kennel. Phoebe, Eddy and Lannibal are looking out the window while drinking. Jordan enters.
Jordan: Lunch is served.
He reveals a roast chicken.
Lannibal: Mmmm. White meat!
Lannibal rips off a drumstick and starts gnawing away on it. In a matter of seconds he is finished. He opens the window and chucks the bone outside. John pounces on it and goes inside his kennel to chew it.
Phoebe: Why'd you invite John anyway?
Jordan: Mum insisted I have him since I've known him since pre-school. It's not fair because I never liked him.
John: I heard that.
Jordan: I wanted you to hear it.
The doorbell rings. Jordan goes to answer it. It is Mrs. Doubtfrank.
Jordan: Mrs. Doubtfrank. What a pleasant surprise!
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Really?
Jordan: No!
Eddy: Mrs. Doubtfrank I'm sorry for that remark I made earlier. It was a misunderstanding. You see I thought you were hard of hearing. So what I'm saying is. cookies!
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Yes. I brought them over just for you, my own special Kitty Litter cookies. Extra clumpy.
The kids all look slightly disgusted. She hands Jordan a plate of cookies.
Jordan: Thanks.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Just enjoy yourselves boys.
Phoebes steps forward.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Oh and you too honey. Don't you have any female friends?
Phoebe looks angry waves her hand and the door slams shut on Mrs. Doubtfrank.
Phoebe: That got rid of her.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Actually I'm still here!
Jordan: Cookies in the bin. Mud cake for us.
He takes a mud cake out of the pantry. Everyone grabs a slice. Except Lannibal.
Lannibal: I don't like sweets. I think I'll just finish off the chicken.
Jordan: The chicken's already finished.
Lannibal: Don't worry I brought my own.
He pulls a chicken out of his backpack and starts eating. Eddy goes to the TV room.
Eddy: Well, I'm full, what's on TV? Hey, we got the Adults Only channel!
Jordan: Really? Yes!
They all start cheering. Phoebe looks annoyed.
Eddy: Woo-hoo!
Lannibal: Boneriffic!
Caption: 31st October 2003. Halloweenie.
Sorry Now plays as a car pulls up in the carport. Four kids and a man get out of the car. A montage of them collecting luggage and humourous things happen.
Frank: Okay Jordan. Here's the keys. Now be very careful with my car.
Jordan: Thanks, Frank.
Frank: You can call me dad.
Jordan: But you're not my dad. You're my step-dad and I'd rather call you Frank.
Frank: Whatever's good for you.
Jordan: Alright then. See ya Frank. Frank: And Jordan, don't forget, Mrs. Doubtfrank will be keeping an eye on you.
Jordan: I know.
Frank: Bye.
Frank hops into the car.
Jordan: Frank, I've got the car.
Frank: Ah.
Frank starts walking away.
Eddy: Who's Mrs. Doubtfrank?
Jordan: It's this lady Frank dresses up as to keep an eye on me whenever I'm away from home. He really expects me to believe it's another person but the disguise is so terrible.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Hello boys.
Jordan: That's her. Hi Mrs. Doubtfrank.
Jordan waves with his rude finger up.
Eddy: Jordan!
Jordan: Don't worry. She's got really bad eyesight.
Eddy: Oh. Hi there, you old bag.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Oh. You rude little boy!
She storms off angrily.
Jordan: I said eyesight. She's got perfect hearing.
Eddy: Oh.
Eddy and Jordan enter the house. Three other people are also inside. Eddy looks around. Eddy looks disappointed.
Eddy: Why'd you have to invite them Jordan, wouldn't it have been much more fun just you, me, a tub of lubrication cream.
Eddy starts rubbing Jordan's arm.
Jordan: No. I don't think so Eddy.
Jordan removes Eddy's arm.
John: Don't worry Edsy I'm sure we'll have a fright of a time.
John starts laughing hysterically the others look far from amused.
Jordan: Yeh. Now some of you have not met before. Eddy you already know John. This is Lannibal Hecter.
Lannibal: Hello, Eddy. (He sniffs) You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today, that's a girl's perfume.
Eddy: Men can use it too.
Jordan: And this is Phoebe Crookednose.
Phoebe: But you can all call me The Charmed one.
John: More like the can't be darned one. (He laughs)
Lannibal: What?
Jordan: Great. Now that we're all acquainted. I'll begin the tour.
They all enter the lounge room. In there all the furniture is covered with white sheets.
Jordan: Yes, this is the lounge room.
John: Looks like somebody's been doing some painting! (Only he laughs)
They all leave the lounge room and enter the dining room.
Jordan: This is the dining room, there's the kitchen and there's the TV room. Oh and watch out for spider webs.
John: Spider webs! I wouldn't want to get all tied up in one of those!
John starts laughing. No one else does.
Phoebe: This house looks so old. Like it hasn't been touched for years.
Jordan: Well not years but quite a while.
Eddy: How long?
Jordan: 2 days.
John: 2 days more like 2 centuries!
Jordan: No (He slaps John) 2 days. John slaps him back and they start slapping each other like sissys. Lannibal meows.
Jordan: Now follow me upstairs.
Cut to them upstairs. Jordan is counting the beds.
Jordan: 1, 2, 3 ,4. 4 beds.
Eddy: Don't worry Jordan I don't mind sharing.
Jordan: Ah, no that won't be necessary. I think there's a spare bed in one of the cupboards.
Eddy: It was just a suggestion.
Jordan: Yes, and I don't think I like what you were suggesting.
Eddy: What? Oh! God no. Not that! I didn't mean it like that.
John: It seems like Eddy's finally coming out of the closet.
Everybody laughs except Eddy.
Jordan: That was a good one Johnny.
John: All my jokes are good.
Jordan: Right.
Suddenly John freezes.
Jordan: John. (Waves hand in face) Are you alright?
John unfreezes.
Jordan: Are you okay John?
John: What are you talking about? I'm fine.
He freezes again.
Eddy: It's her!
Jordan: Phoebe did you freeze him?
Phoebe: Yeah like I said I'm a Charmed one. A witch.
John unfrozen: Witch? More like bitch.
Phoebe waves her arm and John goes flying hard into a wall. Jordan to Phoebe: Feel free to do that any time you want.
John: Oh. You guys are all freaks.
Jordan: Hmmm. I don't think we have to worry about the bed problem anymore. One of us is sleeping outside.
They all turn to John.
John: Who?
Cut to a window which shows John lying in the dog kennel. Phoebe, Eddy and Lannibal are looking out the window while drinking. Jordan enters.
Jordan: Lunch is served.
He reveals a roast chicken.
Lannibal: Mmmm. White meat!
Lannibal rips off a drumstick and starts gnawing away on it. In a matter of seconds he is finished. He opens the window and chucks the bone outside. John pounces on it and goes inside his kennel to chew it.
Phoebe: Why'd you invite John anyway?
Jordan: Mum insisted I have him since I've known him since pre-school. It's not fair because I never liked him.
John: I heard that.
Jordan: I wanted you to hear it.
The doorbell rings. Jordan goes to answer it. It is Mrs. Doubtfrank.
Jordan: Mrs. Doubtfrank. What a pleasant surprise!
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Really?
Jordan: No!
Eddy: Mrs. Doubtfrank I'm sorry for that remark I made earlier. It was a misunderstanding. You see I thought you were hard of hearing. So what I'm saying is. cookies!
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Yes. I brought them over just for you, my own special Kitty Litter cookies. Extra clumpy.
The kids all look slightly disgusted. She hands Jordan a plate of cookies.
Jordan: Thanks.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Just enjoy yourselves boys.
Phoebes steps forward.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Oh and you too honey. Don't you have any female friends?
Phoebe looks angry waves her hand and the door slams shut on Mrs. Doubtfrank.
Phoebe: That got rid of her.
Mrs. Doubtfrank: Actually I'm still here!
Jordan: Cookies in the bin. Mud cake for us.
He takes a mud cake out of the pantry. Everyone grabs a slice. Except Lannibal.
Lannibal: I don't like sweets. I think I'll just finish off the chicken.
Jordan: The chicken's already finished.
Lannibal: Don't worry I brought my own.
He pulls a chicken out of his backpack and starts eating. Eddy goes to the TV room.
Eddy: Well, I'm full, what's on TV? Hey, we got the Adults Only channel!
Jordan: Really? Yes!
They all start cheering. Phoebe looks annoyed.
Eddy: Woo-hoo!
Lannibal: Boneriffic!