Scene 4: The Car Accident.
Flashback begins. (At night) Ex exits his house and looks around outside.
Ass: 'ey, give me the keys.
Ex: No.
Ass: Come on Ex you're drunk.
Ex: So are you.
Ass: Not as much as you.
Ex: Hey dude, nobody drives my car but me! Well, except for that big black guy that car jacked me last month, he drove it, but other than that, nobody drives my car but me. Okay, there was that one time the dope man had it for a week because I owed him for a bag of weed, but other than that.
Ass grabs the keys off him and hops into the driver's seat, Ex gets in the passenger seat. Ass starts up the car and loud, rock, music starts. Ex pulls out some beers out of no where and tries to go through the sun roof. He hits his head hard.
Ex: Ow! I really need to get a sun roof.
Ass starts to back out of the driveway. There is a huge smash and something hits the back window of the car. Ass quickly puts on the brakes.
Ex: What was that?
Ass: I think we hit something.
Ex: Must have been a dog.
Ass and Ex get out of the car each holding a torch. They look around for a while.
Ex: Oh my god!
He runs towards something and picks it up.
Ex: A boot!
Ass: No. There is no way.
Ex shines his light on something else.
Ex: And there's the other one.
Ass: And there's some socks.
Ex: And there's a T-shirt.
Ass: And there's a jumper.
Ex: And there's some pants.
Ass: And there's some boxer shorts.
Ex: Aw, dude!
We see from behind a man's bare back and head. But nothing lower.
Ex: He's nude!
Ass: Oh! (He turns his head one way) Wow, I didn't realize it was that cold out here.
Ex and Ass start laughing quietly. They suddenly stop.
Ass: Do you think he's dead?
Ex: I don't know.
Ass: Then check his pulse.
Ex: No you're the one who rammed him.
Ass: I don't want to go near him.
Ex: Why? Because he's dead?
Ass: No. He's naked!
Ex: Look before we decide what to do let's put his clothes back on. Okay.
Ass: Okay, but I'm doing the top.
Ex: Oh.
We cut back to them. The dead body is now clothed.
Ass: What should we do with him?
Ex: Let's just leave him here. Drive away now.
Ass: Dude, his blood's all over the car. If there's some of him on the car, there's some of the car on him. They'll trace us. We're looking at a hit and run.
Ex: Then let's just change our names, sell the car, fly to Hawaii and live out the rest of our lives in hiding.
Ass: Well, it's an option. But can we afford it?
Ex: No. No. But we could rob a bank.
Ass: Okay, this is getting a bit complicated now. Let's just dump the body somewhere. Ex: How about Hawaii?
Ass: No. We'll just throw him in the creek down the road.
Ex: Good idea. Then we'll go to Hawaii.
Ass: Oh. Come on lets get him in the boot.
They pick up the body.
Ex: Jeez he's heavy.
Ex drops his half. The dead guy's head is dragging across the ground.
Ex: Oh whoops. I'll.
Ass: Just let me do it. Okay.
Ex: Sorry.
Ass chucks him in the boot and shuts it.
Ass: Let's go.
They get back in the car. Ass starts it up and rolls down the driveway. He backs up a bit and there is another loud smash and something hits the back window again.
Ass: What was that?
Ex: Don't worry, it was. someone else hitting something.
Ass gets out of the car.
Ass: Damn it!
There is another body on the road.
Ex: Is it clothed?
Ass: Yes. And I think it's a girl this time.
Ex: Ass! Not again.
Ass: Shut up. Alright. You're not helping.
Ex: Let's just get her in the boot.
They pick her up and put her in the boot as well. They hop back in the car. Ass starts it up again and drives forward. Something hits the front window. Ass puts the brakes on. Ex jumps out of the car. Ex: Yep. Another one.
Ass drops his head onto the horn and it starts honking.
Ex: Tonight's just not your lucky night is it?
Ass and Ex walk over to the body. Ex notices something.
Ex: Hey look a cat. You wanna go run that over too?
Ass: Shut up.
They put the body in the boot.
Ex: My the boot looks pretty full. I hope you don't hit another one or we'll have to start putting them on the backseat!
Ass slams the boot angrily.
Ex: What?
Ass starts up the car and drives forward slowly.
Ex: Watch out!
Ass slams his foot on the brakes.
Ex: Just kidding.
Ass smacks Ex very hard across the head.
Ex: Ow!
We cut to Ass and Ex getting out of the car. They step onto the bank of the creek. The camera pans across a sign which reads "Dawson's Creek".
Ass: Do you see anybody?
Ex: No.
Ass: Let's just get this over and done with then.
Ass opens the boot.
Ass: Whoa. Hang on there's only two bodies in here.
Ex: Yeah.
Ass: Didn't we have three?
Ex: I don't know. I wasn't counting.
Ass: I'm sure we did. But where?
Ex: Who cares? That's just one less body to worry about.
Ass: I guess.
Ex: It's just like they say "Two bodies are better than three".
Ass: Yeah. Wait. I've never heard that before.
Ex: Come on let's dump these guys.
They begin to pick up the top body.
Max: Hey, yo!
Ex: Pardon.
Ass: That wasn't me.
A figure starts to come close to the car.
Ex: Oh my god. Someone's coming! It's Max!
Ass: Quick, close the boot.
Max: Hey guys!
Max comes running up and Ex slams the boot shut on Ass's hand. Ass looks like he's in a lot of pain.
Ass: (Through grit teeth): Ex, Ex, my han.
Ex: Ssh.
Max: Hey guys, Whaddup!
Ex: You know the usually driving around, stopping at the creek, dumping bodies.
Ass: Getting your hand squashed in the car boot.
Ex: What? So Max what are you doing here?
Max: I'm walking home, I live just up the street.
Ass: Ex.
Ex: What? Ass: My hand.
Ex: Yeh, it's safe man.
Ex lifts up Ass's other hand.
Ex: So Max.
Max: Yeh?
Ex: Planning on going home now.
Max: No. I thought I'd hang with you guys. If that's cool with you.
Ass: Ex, pass me the keys.
Ex: Here.
Ex passes him the keys. Ass unlocks the boot.
Ex: No, Ass.
Ass throws opens the boot. Max looks in.
Max: Aaargh!
Ex: Max, it's not what it looks like.
Max: You sickos!
Ass: Max, it's nothing.
Max: I don't see nothing. I see, I see. A camera!
Ex: Oh it's true, it's true but it was an accident. An accident! A camera?
Max: Yes a camera. You two are filming me, aren't you? Aren't you? This is for candid camera or something! Well I won't let you I'm taking that camera and leaving.
Max grabs the camera and runs off.
Ex: But Max, what about the dead people?
Ass: Shut up.
Max: What dead people?
Ex: Dead people? Who mentioned dead people? I didn't mention dead people.
Ass smacks Ex across the head harder this time. Ex: What's that for?
Ass: For jamming my hand in the boot!
Ex: When?
Ass: When? Oh forget it. Let's dump these bodies and go home.
They start to pick up the body again. Many voices are heard.
Ass: Oh no! Who is it this time?
Ex: I don't know but there's two of 'em. And they're walking faster.
Ass: I'll put the body back in, you get rid of them.
Ex: Too late. I'll close the boot.
Ass has his head in the boot.
Ass: Noooo!
Ex slams the boot shut on Ass's head.
Ass: (Muffled) Ow!
Ex: Hi guys.
It is Mark and Gwyneth.
Mark: Hey.
Ex: What are you doing out here?
Gwyneth: Going home to my husband. I mean wife, wife.
Ex: Cool. What ya'll doing tonight?
Gwyneth: Doing the housework, talking on the phone, trying out some new dresses, the usual.
Ex: Yeah.
Mark: Hey Ex, you found a new prompter yet?
Ex: Na. I can't believe Steve's gone. I mean he got over his stutter so we had to fire him, I mean that was the only reason we hired him. And he knew that. But don't worry we'll find somebody. Won't we Ass?
Ass: Ow! Ex: Oh crap! Well we've got to go now, so please be on your way.
Mark: Alright then see ya.
Mark and Gwyneth leave. Ex quickly opens up the boot. Ass looks angry as hell.
Ex: Ass, I'm sorry man.
Ass smacks him across the head twice and kicks him onto the ground.
Ass: Stupid idiot. Get up. We're dumping the bodies now.
They pick up the first body.
Ass: On the count of three chuck him in. 1, 2.
Ex lets go and Ass is pulled into the water.
Ass: (Getting out of the creek) I said on the count of three, not before three, not after three, on three! Now get me out.
Ex pulls Ass out and they grab the other body.
Ass: Now on three. 1, 2, 3.
Ass lets go but Ex doesn't and is pulled into the water.
Ass: You stupid.
Ex gets out.
Ass: Let's make a pact right now, that we never ever talk of this again. Agreed?
Ex: Agreed.
Dead body in water: Agreed.
Ass: Good.
End of flashback.
Ex: Now I remember. Hey you broke the pact!
Ass: Who cares about that? Someone knows. And it could be anyone.
Ex: What about Max?
Ass: Max. Na. He's too nice.
Max to Scott: I wanted warm coffee not boiling hot coffee. You stupid boy. He chucks the coffee all over Scott's front.
Ex: Anyway don't worry about it. It's probably just a prank.
Ass: Yeh.
Flashback begins. (At night) Ex exits his house and looks around outside.
Ass: 'ey, give me the keys.
Ex: No.
Ass: Come on Ex you're drunk.
Ex: So are you.
Ass: Not as much as you.
Ex: Hey dude, nobody drives my car but me! Well, except for that big black guy that car jacked me last month, he drove it, but other than that, nobody drives my car but me. Okay, there was that one time the dope man had it for a week because I owed him for a bag of weed, but other than that.
Ass grabs the keys off him and hops into the driver's seat, Ex gets in the passenger seat. Ass starts up the car and loud, rock, music starts. Ex pulls out some beers out of no where and tries to go through the sun roof. He hits his head hard.
Ex: Ow! I really need to get a sun roof.
Ass starts to back out of the driveway. There is a huge smash and something hits the back window of the car. Ass quickly puts on the brakes.
Ex: What was that?
Ass: I think we hit something.
Ex: Must have been a dog.
Ass and Ex get out of the car each holding a torch. They look around for a while.
Ex: Oh my god!
He runs towards something and picks it up.
Ex: A boot!
Ass: No. There is no way.
Ex shines his light on something else.
Ex: And there's the other one.
Ass: And there's some socks.
Ex: And there's a T-shirt.
Ass: And there's a jumper.
Ex: And there's some pants.
Ass: And there's some boxer shorts.
Ex: Aw, dude!
We see from behind a man's bare back and head. But nothing lower.
Ex: He's nude!
Ass: Oh! (He turns his head one way) Wow, I didn't realize it was that cold out here.
Ex and Ass start laughing quietly. They suddenly stop.
Ass: Do you think he's dead?
Ex: I don't know.
Ass: Then check his pulse.
Ex: No you're the one who rammed him.
Ass: I don't want to go near him.
Ex: Why? Because he's dead?
Ass: No. He's naked!
Ex: Look before we decide what to do let's put his clothes back on. Okay.
Ass: Okay, but I'm doing the top.
Ex: Oh.
We cut back to them. The dead body is now clothed.
Ass: What should we do with him?
Ex: Let's just leave him here. Drive away now.
Ass: Dude, his blood's all over the car. If there's some of him on the car, there's some of the car on him. They'll trace us. We're looking at a hit and run.
Ex: Then let's just change our names, sell the car, fly to Hawaii and live out the rest of our lives in hiding.
Ass: Well, it's an option. But can we afford it?
Ex: No. No. But we could rob a bank.
Ass: Okay, this is getting a bit complicated now. Let's just dump the body somewhere. Ex: How about Hawaii?
Ass: No. We'll just throw him in the creek down the road.
Ex: Good idea. Then we'll go to Hawaii.
Ass: Oh. Come on lets get him in the boot.
They pick up the body.
Ex: Jeez he's heavy.
Ex drops his half. The dead guy's head is dragging across the ground.
Ex: Oh whoops. I'll.
Ass: Just let me do it. Okay.
Ex: Sorry.
Ass chucks him in the boot and shuts it.
Ass: Let's go.
They get back in the car. Ass starts it up and rolls down the driveway. He backs up a bit and there is another loud smash and something hits the back window again.
Ass: What was that?
Ex: Don't worry, it was. someone else hitting something.
Ass gets out of the car.
Ass: Damn it!
There is another body on the road.
Ex: Is it clothed?
Ass: Yes. And I think it's a girl this time.
Ex: Ass! Not again.
Ass: Shut up. Alright. You're not helping.
Ex: Let's just get her in the boot.
They pick her up and put her in the boot as well. They hop back in the car. Ass starts it up again and drives forward. Something hits the front window. Ass puts the brakes on. Ex jumps out of the car. Ex: Yep. Another one.
Ass drops his head onto the horn and it starts honking.
Ex: Tonight's just not your lucky night is it?
Ass and Ex walk over to the body. Ex notices something.
Ex: Hey look a cat. You wanna go run that over too?
Ass: Shut up.
They put the body in the boot.
Ex: My the boot looks pretty full. I hope you don't hit another one or we'll have to start putting them on the backseat!
Ass slams the boot angrily.
Ex: What?
Ass starts up the car and drives forward slowly.
Ex: Watch out!
Ass slams his foot on the brakes.
Ex: Just kidding.
Ass smacks Ex very hard across the head.
Ex: Ow!
We cut to Ass and Ex getting out of the car. They step onto the bank of the creek. The camera pans across a sign which reads "Dawson's Creek".
Ass: Do you see anybody?
Ex: No.
Ass: Let's just get this over and done with then.
Ass opens the boot.
Ass: Whoa. Hang on there's only two bodies in here.
Ex: Yeah.
Ass: Didn't we have three?
Ex: I don't know. I wasn't counting.
Ass: I'm sure we did. But where?
Ex: Who cares? That's just one less body to worry about.
Ass: I guess.
Ex: It's just like they say "Two bodies are better than three".
Ass: Yeah. Wait. I've never heard that before.
Ex: Come on let's dump these guys.
They begin to pick up the top body.
Max: Hey, yo!
Ex: Pardon.
Ass: That wasn't me.
A figure starts to come close to the car.
Ex: Oh my god. Someone's coming! It's Max!
Ass: Quick, close the boot.
Max: Hey guys!
Max comes running up and Ex slams the boot shut on Ass's hand. Ass looks like he's in a lot of pain.
Ass: (Through grit teeth): Ex, Ex, my han.
Ex: Ssh.
Max: Hey guys, Whaddup!
Ex: You know the usually driving around, stopping at the creek, dumping bodies.
Ass: Getting your hand squashed in the car boot.
Ex: What? So Max what are you doing here?
Max: I'm walking home, I live just up the street.
Ass: Ex.
Ex: What? Ass: My hand.
Ex: Yeh, it's safe man.
Ex lifts up Ass's other hand.
Ex: So Max.
Max: Yeh?
Ex: Planning on going home now.
Max: No. I thought I'd hang with you guys. If that's cool with you.
Ass: Ex, pass me the keys.
Ex: Here.
Ex passes him the keys. Ass unlocks the boot.
Ex: No, Ass.
Ass throws opens the boot. Max looks in.
Max: Aaargh!
Ex: Max, it's not what it looks like.
Max: You sickos!
Ass: Max, it's nothing.
Max: I don't see nothing. I see, I see. A camera!
Ex: Oh it's true, it's true but it was an accident. An accident! A camera?
Max: Yes a camera. You two are filming me, aren't you? Aren't you? This is for candid camera or something! Well I won't let you I'm taking that camera and leaving.
Max grabs the camera and runs off.
Ex: But Max, what about the dead people?
Ass: Shut up.
Max: What dead people?
Ex: Dead people? Who mentioned dead people? I didn't mention dead people.
Ass smacks Ex across the head harder this time. Ex: What's that for?
Ass: For jamming my hand in the boot!
Ex: When?
Ass: When? Oh forget it. Let's dump these bodies and go home.
They start to pick up the body again. Many voices are heard.
Ass: Oh no! Who is it this time?
Ex: I don't know but there's two of 'em. And they're walking faster.
Ass: I'll put the body back in, you get rid of them.
Ex: Too late. I'll close the boot.
Ass has his head in the boot.
Ass: Noooo!
Ex slams the boot shut on Ass's head.
Ass: (Muffled) Ow!
Ex: Hi guys.
It is Mark and Gwyneth.
Mark: Hey.
Ex: What are you doing out here?
Gwyneth: Going home to my husband. I mean wife, wife.
Ex: Cool. What ya'll doing tonight?
Gwyneth: Doing the housework, talking on the phone, trying out some new dresses, the usual.
Ex: Yeah.
Mark: Hey Ex, you found a new prompter yet?
Ex: Na. I can't believe Steve's gone. I mean he got over his stutter so we had to fire him, I mean that was the only reason we hired him. And he knew that. But don't worry we'll find somebody. Won't we Ass?
Ass: Ow! Ex: Oh crap! Well we've got to go now, so please be on your way.
Mark: Alright then see ya.
Mark and Gwyneth leave. Ex quickly opens up the boot. Ass looks angry as hell.
Ex: Ass, I'm sorry man.
Ass smacks him across the head twice and kicks him onto the ground.
Ass: Stupid idiot. Get up. We're dumping the bodies now.
They pick up the first body.
Ass: On the count of three chuck him in. 1, 2.
Ex lets go and Ass is pulled into the water.
Ass: (Getting out of the creek) I said on the count of three, not before three, not after three, on three! Now get me out.
Ex pulls Ass out and they grab the other body.
Ass: Now on three. 1, 2, 3.
Ass lets go but Ex doesn't and is pulled into the water.
Ass: You stupid.
Ex gets out.
Ass: Let's make a pact right now, that we never ever talk of this again. Agreed?
Ex: Agreed.
Dead body in water: Agreed.
Ass: Good.
End of flashback.
Ex: Now I remember. Hey you broke the pact!
Ass: Who cares about that? Someone knows. And it could be anyone.
Ex: What about Max?
Ass: Max. Na. He's too nice.
Max to Scott: I wanted warm coffee not boiling hot coffee. You stupid boy. He chucks the coffee all over Scott's front.
Ex: Anyway don't worry about it. It's probably just a prank.
Ass: Yeh.