Scene 9: Mark Gets His Head Cut Off.
Ex: And action!
Mark is standing in the kitchen about to make some popcorn. His phone rings. He picks it up.
Mark: Hello.
Killer (In movie): Hello.
Mark: Yes?
Killer (In movie): Who is this?
Mark: Who are you trying to reach?
Killer (In movie): What number is this? Mark: What number are you trying to reach?
Killer (In movie): Who is this?
Mark: You've said that.
Killer (In movie): Oh then, what number is this?
Mark: You said that too.
Killer (In movie): Damn it. Ah.
Mark: Do you wanna know my name?
Killer (In movie): That's it. You never did tell me your name.
Mark: Why do you want to know my name?
Killer (In movie): 'Cause I want to know who I'm looking at.
Mark: What did you say?
Killer (In movie): Um, because I want to know who I'm. talking too. Yeah that's what I said. Talking too. Yeah, that'll do.
Mark: That's not what you said.
He walks backwards, looking out the window. He trips over a chair. He grunts.
Killer (In movie): What's that noise?
Mark runs to the popcorn machine and turns it on.
Mark: Ah, I'm making popcorn. I'm getting to watch a video.
Killer: Really what?
Mark: Oh, just a porno movie.
Killer: Do you like porno movies?
Mark: Hell yeah!
Killer: What's your favourite?
Mark: Ah, Well there's the one with the two chicks, they're getting down.
Ex: And cut it.
The guy in the killer costume walks by with a huge boner. We see Brendan/Leeroy doing a little jig.
Ass: He looks happy.
Ex: A little too happy if you ask me.
Ass: Which personality is that anyway? I can't see his hair. (He is wearing a cap)
Ex: Oi! Brendan!
Ass: Leeroy!
They run up to him.
Ass: Who are you?
Brendan/Leeroy: Fitzroy.
Ex: What? Three personalities?
Ass: It's not common but it's possible.
We cut to Gwyneth alone in a room. He is doing his toenails.
Killer (Whispering): Gwyneth.
Gwyneth: Yes? Hello?
Killer (Whispering): Is a girl's name!
Gwyneth: (Cracking) Show yourself, I'll kick your ass.
The killer steps out.
Gwyneth: Let's go then.
Killer: Bring it on.
Cool, retro music starts. Both Gwyneth then the killer make punching and fighting type gestures. The Killer and Gwyneth run towards each other, the killer throws some punches which Gwyneth dodges, Gwyneth suddenly slams his fist into the killer's gut (we zoom into the fist) and then the killer goes flying into the wall
Killer: Ah!
The killer gets back up. The killer dodges all Gwyneth's attacks and then Gwyneth dodges all of his attacks, they stand still for a moment and the killer suddenly lifts up a leg and slams it into Gwyneth's groin, Gwyneth falls over
Gwyneth: Ooo!
Gwyneth flips up onto his hands. He kicks the killer in the head several times.
Killer: Ohhhhhhhhhh.
The killer stumbles about. The killer pulls out a knife. Gwyneth looks worried. The killer throws it and in slow-motion we see Gwyneth jump up and the knife goes under his legs. Gwyneth looks very smug. Then the killer pulls out six more knives. Gwyneth now looks very worried. We see the killer throw all six at Gwyneth. We see it has pinned his clothes against the wall. He steps forward, ripping out of his clothes and is wearing boxers and a support bra underneath.
Killer: Oh. Ahhh!
He runs out of the room. Gwyneth looks pleased with himself. We cut to Ass.
Ass: Mark we're filming in five.
Mark: What now?
Ex: Your death scene.
Mark: Oh, cool.
Scott pats Mark on the back.
Scott: Break a leg.
Mark: Touch me again and I'll break your fucking leg!
We see Mark standing alone just waiting for the scene to be set up. A man with a large box of supplies walks past him and drops something. Mark looks down at it.
Mark: Hey, you dropped something.
He bends down to pick it up. Behind him we can see that the killer is there, holding an axe. He swings back the axe. Mark stands back up now holding a mask. The axe swings at him and chops off his head.
Mark's head rolls over next to Ass. Ass looks at it.
Ass: Over-actor
Cut to Scott walking with Brendan.
Scott: I hate being bothed around by Ath and Ecth. They treat me like a thlave.
Brendan: You act like a slave. You should just say no to them for once.
Scott: I can do that?
Brendan: Yeah! Next time they ask you to do something just say no.
Scott: Okay.
Scott keeps walking. He meets Ass.
Ass: Hey Scott where've you been? I'm hungry get me some chips.
Ass turns and starts to walk away.
Scott: No.
Ass stops and slowly turns around.
Ass: What did you say to me?
Scott looks worried.
Scott: No.
Ass is getting really mad.
Ass: I'll ask again. What did you say to me?
Scott looks very scared.
Scott: N.okay.
Scott runs away. He meets Brendan.
Brendan: Did you do it?
Scott: (Thinks) No.
Scott bolts away. Brendan shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Ex is standing alone. He looks around and sees the killer coming towards him. He shuts his eyes.
Ex: Go away. Please be gone, you're not real, be gone!
He keeps his eyes shut. We see the killer come closer to Ex. Finally, we see the killer's shadow on Ex. Ex opens his eyes.
Ex: Ahh! (The figure is Ass)
Ass: Whoa! What?
Ex: Oh, Jesus, I thought you were the killer.
Ass: Well I'm not. (laughs) You're so fucked up
Ex: And action!
Mark is standing in the kitchen about to make some popcorn. His phone rings. He picks it up.
Mark: Hello.
Killer (In movie): Hello.
Mark: Yes?
Killer (In movie): Who is this?
Mark: Who are you trying to reach?
Killer (In movie): What number is this? Mark: What number are you trying to reach?
Killer (In movie): Who is this?
Mark: You've said that.
Killer (In movie): Oh then, what number is this?
Mark: You said that too.
Killer (In movie): Damn it. Ah.
Mark: Do you wanna know my name?
Killer (In movie): That's it. You never did tell me your name.
Mark: Why do you want to know my name?
Killer (In movie): 'Cause I want to know who I'm looking at.
Mark: What did you say?
Killer (In movie): Um, because I want to know who I'm. talking too. Yeah that's what I said. Talking too. Yeah, that'll do.
Mark: That's not what you said.
He walks backwards, looking out the window. He trips over a chair. He grunts.
Killer (In movie): What's that noise?
Mark runs to the popcorn machine and turns it on.
Mark: Ah, I'm making popcorn. I'm getting to watch a video.
Killer: Really what?
Mark: Oh, just a porno movie.
Killer: Do you like porno movies?
Mark: Hell yeah!
Killer: What's your favourite?
Mark: Ah, Well there's the one with the two chicks, they're getting down.
Ex: And cut it.
The guy in the killer costume walks by with a huge boner. We see Brendan/Leeroy doing a little jig.
Ass: He looks happy.
Ex: A little too happy if you ask me.
Ass: Which personality is that anyway? I can't see his hair. (He is wearing a cap)
Ex: Oi! Brendan!
Ass: Leeroy!
They run up to him.
Ass: Who are you?
Brendan/Leeroy: Fitzroy.
Ex: What? Three personalities?
Ass: It's not common but it's possible.
We cut to Gwyneth alone in a room. He is doing his toenails.
Killer (Whispering): Gwyneth.
Gwyneth: Yes? Hello?
Killer (Whispering): Is a girl's name!
Gwyneth: (Cracking) Show yourself, I'll kick your ass.
The killer steps out.
Gwyneth: Let's go then.
Killer: Bring it on.
Cool, retro music starts. Both Gwyneth then the killer make punching and fighting type gestures. The Killer and Gwyneth run towards each other, the killer throws some punches which Gwyneth dodges, Gwyneth suddenly slams his fist into the killer's gut (we zoom into the fist) and then the killer goes flying into the wall
Killer: Ah!
The killer gets back up. The killer dodges all Gwyneth's attacks and then Gwyneth dodges all of his attacks, they stand still for a moment and the killer suddenly lifts up a leg and slams it into Gwyneth's groin, Gwyneth falls over
Gwyneth: Ooo!
Gwyneth flips up onto his hands. He kicks the killer in the head several times.
Killer: Ohhhhhhhhhh.
The killer stumbles about. The killer pulls out a knife. Gwyneth looks worried. The killer throws it and in slow-motion we see Gwyneth jump up and the knife goes under his legs. Gwyneth looks very smug. Then the killer pulls out six more knives. Gwyneth now looks very worried. We see the killer throw all six at Gwyneth. We see it has pinned his clothes against the wall. He steps forward, ripping out of his clothes and is wearing boxers and a support bra underneath.
Killer: Oh. Ahhh!
He runs out of the room. Gwyneth looks pleased with himself. We cut to Ass.
Ass: Mark we're filming in five.
Mark: What now?
Ex: Your death scene.
Mark: Oh, cool.
Scott pats Mark on the back.
Scott: Break a leg.
Mark: Touch me again and I'll break your fucking leg!
We see Mark standing alone just waiting for the scene to be set up. A man with a large box of supplies walks past him and drops something. Mark looks down at it.
Mark: Hey, you dropped something.
He bends down to pick it up. Behind him we can see that the killer is there, holding an axe. He swings back the axe. Mark stands back up now holding a mask. The axe swings at him and chops off his head.
Mark's head rolls over next to Ass. Ass looks at it.
Ass: Over-actor
Cut to Scott walking with Brendan.
Scott: I hate being bothed around by Ath and Ecth. They treat me like a thlave.
Brendan: You act like a slave. You should just say no to them for once.
Scott: I can do that?
Brendan: Yeah! Next time they ask you to do something just say no.
Scott: Okay.
Scott keeps walking. He meets Ass.
Ass: Hey Scott where've you been? I'm hungry get me some chips.
Ass turns and starts to walk away.
Scott: No.
Ass stops and slowly turns around.
Ass: What did you say to me?
Scott looks worried.
Scott: No.
Ass is getting really mad.
Ass: I'll ask again. What did you say to me?
Scott looks very scared.
Scott: N.okay.
Scott runs away. He meets Brendan.
Brendan: Did you do it?
Scott: (Thinks) No.
Scott bolts away. Brendan shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Ex is standing alone. He looks around and sees the killer coming towards him. He shuts his eyes.
Ex: Go away. Please be gone, you're not real, be gone!
He keeps his eyes shut. We see the killer come closer to Ex. Finally, we see the killer's shadow on Ex. Ex opens his eyes.
Ex: Ahh! (The figure is Ass)
Ass: Whoa! What?
Ex: Oh, Jesus, I thought you were the killer.
Ass: Well I'm not. (laughs) You're so fucked up