What a Guardian Angel! - chapter 1

What a Guardian Angel!
by Liv Valle and Joshua Falken

Thanks to BenRG for beta read this fic

Author's notes: The following story is of the Humor genre. Although it deals with religious concepts (such as angels and the spirit realm) it does not represent a serious commentary on religion or on the beings that may inhabit the spirit realm. It is intended only to be a comedy, no more. If you are easily offended by stories with a religious aspect or that treat religious concepts irreverently, you are strongly advised NOT TO READ THIS STORY. Joshua Falken, Liv Valle and Ben Russell-Gough cannot accept any liability for distress or offence that this story may cause.

Chapter 1
By Joshua Falken

Ash Ketchum, Misty Williams, Brock Harrison and the Pokéball engineer Stephen Kurt were pursuing Butch and Cassidy, who had stolen the mysterious G/S Pokéball from Professor Patrick Elm's laboratories in New Bark City. The chase had lasted for several days now, but it was almost over.

"Over there!" Brock exclaimed. The two terrorists had entered in an abandoned mine.

Ash and his friends walked down the tunnel until it split into two separate tunnels. Brock and Kurt took the one on the right and Ash and Misty took the one on the left. Some minutes afterwards, Ash and Misty heard voices:

"This is it, Butch!" a woman's voice announced in an excited tone of voice. "This is the day that we've been waiting for! When the Boss sees this, he will promote us for sure!"

"And we'll never have to see Jessie and James again in our lives!" a man replied in a grating voice. While the two terrorists/thieves laughed about their luck and planned how they would spend the bonus their employer would give them for their efforts this day, Ash, Misty and their Pokémon were discussing their plan of attack.

Ash released his Chikorita and carefully sneaked up as close to Butch and Cassidy "Okay, Chikorita! Stun Spore Attack!"

The small Plant-type Pokémon puffed a cloud of soporific spores from the leaf growing from her head. Butch and Cassidy didn't even have the time to register that they were under attack before they were sleeping soundly.

Ash smirked and took the G/S Ball from Cassidy's limp hand. "Easy money," he remarked to himself. He grimaced at the incredibly loud and resonant snores coming from Butch. "I hope he doesn't cause a cave-in," he said to Misty. Shey chuckled a little and the two best friends turned to leave. Unfortunately, as they went to go, Misty tripped over a rock. She reached out to the wall to steady herself, knocked an old mine support from its' place. A small shower of stones and dirt rained down from the roof and fell on the slumbering Team Rocket terrorists, who awoke immediately.

"What the...?"

"Oops," Misty said, looking at the maniacal anger that filled Cassidy's blue eyes. Misty and Ash looked at each other and then fled as fast as they could.

Seeing her most hated enemies (other than Jessie) fleeing with her prize slightly clouded Cassidy's usually efficient mind. She pulled out the Pokéball containing her newest Pokémon and pressed the 'release' pad. "Go Electrode!" A sneering beach ball-sized robotic Pokémon materialised in the middle of the tunnel. "Electrode, get after those Twerps and Explode them into the next life!"

"Electrode!" the Pokémon replied and shot towards the two fleeing youngsters.

"Cassidy, no!" Butch yelled, his voice suddenly high-pitched with panic. "Don't use Explode down here!"

Electrode released an enormous electrostatic pulse, which, in turn, created a massive explosion. The mine tunnel focussed the power of the explosion, collapsing the roof and launching Butch and Cassidy out of the other end of the tunnel. "Looks like we're blasting off too!" they wailed before they disappeared over the horizon with a little twinkle of light.

The force of the explosion also blew Misty out of the tunnel and sent her tumbling down the gentle slope into which the mine had been dug decades before. The concussion of the attack knocked Ash onto his face, still within the tunnel, and a lump of granite dropped from the collapsing tunnel roof. It was large enough to crush his skull instantly. However, as it dropped, it slowed. It got slower and slower until it stopped. A green icon appeared in mid air, two thick vertical lines, blinking on and off. They were next to a glowing word in green capital letters: 'Pause.'

Four people looked at a paused video screen showing an image of the fallen Ash with a massive lump of rock about to flatten his head like it was a lump of glazier's putty. They looked like three human males and a single human female, all wearing business suits in the purest white, but appearances can be deceiving. Their names were Gabriel, Miguel, Rafael and Uriel.

Gabriel spoke to his colleagues. "As you see, direct intervention is necessary in this case. We cannot forget that he is the Chosen One."

"I agree, Gabriel," Miguel, a strong black man responded, "especially considering the destiny purposed for him. However, I would like to know that the Supreme Authority thinks of that."

"He gave his approval and his blessing, old friend."

"Who would be the angel assigned to this case?" Uriel, a black-haired woman asked thoughtfully.

Gabriel swallowed nervously. Several million years in assisting Michael in his role as the Supreme Authority's messenger and agent still hadn't prepared him for this. "I I, uh, thought we could send Giselle Sagan," he said quietly.

There was a long, dead silence in the room. "Cadet Angel First Grade Giselle Sagan?" Rafael asked, sounding pained. He had many dealings with the cadets, and the name was familiar to him. "The Giselle Sagan? The cadet known to her peers as 'Disaster Area'?"

"Yes," Gabriel replied. "That Giselle Sagan. Do you have an objection to her being assigned to this case, Rafael?"

"Yes I do!" Rafael blurted. "The girl is a menace to herself and everyone around her. She is good at heart but she can't do even the simplest task without creating havoc!" He waved his hand wildly. "We sent her to the star Sanduliac 59 degrees 189 in the Large Magelenic Cloud to recover a lost item and she ended up making the star that should have lasted another ten million years go supernova! 'I thought it was pretty. I just touched it and it exploded!' That is what she told the investigatory panel! She just touched it and she blew the thing up!" Rafael had gone red in the face with passion. No one could blame him. The 'SN-1987A Incident' had been the biggest disaster in the Agency's history since a certain young angel let a large rock get too close to the Earth and several hundred million years work on those 'dinosaur' creatures was wiped out.

"Don't you think I know about that?" Gabriel replied, looking miserable. "The Supreme Authority himself ordered that she should be assigned to this case." Gabriel remembered The Boss's mischievous smile when he did so. He wondered if this was one of His rightly notorious 'jokes' like the duck-billed platypus or the Psyduck.

Hearing that particular fact silenced the three other executive archangels immediately. "Well, who will inform the girl?" Rafael asked. Please don't let it be me, he added silently. Please, please, please! I would rather baby-sit Azrael the Avenger for a few aeons!

"All four of us, Rafael, as per normal procedure," Gabriel said firmly. There was a strange noise from outside the room. "Ah! That must be her. Now, brothers and sister, let us put on a good face for the girl. This is her first major assignment, so she needs to know we have confidence in her. Is that understood?" The other three looked at each other nervously, but they all nodded in agreement.

Gabriel rose and opened the door to the briefing room. A white pulse of energy shot through the doorway at a substantial fraction of the speed of light and collided with the table. The energy pulse immediately tumbled through the air, making Miguel and Uriel dive in opposite directions and collided with the back wall.

The energy pulse suddenly resolved itself into the shape of a fifteen-year-old female human with long purple hair, tied back into a ponytail with a green ribbon. Her friendly blue eyes were crossed over in pain and surprise. She was dressed all in white: A white tank top, white jeans cut off at the knees and white knee-length socks. Even her finger-less biker's gloves and roller-blades were pure, pearly white. After a few moments, Giselle managed to get her head back together after her high-speed collision with the wall.

She grinned around in embarrassment at her superiors. "Uh like, hi guys," she said with a thick Californian accent. "You, uh, you did say that I should hurry didn't you, Mr. Gabby sir?"

The reactions of the four Superior Archangels were most instructive to the student. Gabriel looked at the cadet with an expression that indicated he was feeling the most profound pain in his long existence at hearing his name shortened to 'Gabby.' He also wondered for the very first time if the whole universe might be one of the Supreme Authority's little 'jokes.' Miguel was carefully studying the corners of the room, trying not to look at Gabriel's expression or he would definitely start laughing. Rafael had gone bright red and had crumpled in on himself, weeping softly and muttering something about it being the extinction of the dinosaurs all over again. Uriel was smiling at the cadet in her best encouraging fashion and thinking to herself: 'What horrible mess have we got ourselves into this time?"

Gabriel finally broke his paralysis. "Cadet Giselle Sagan!" he barked in his best drill sergeant's tone of voice.

"Yes, Archangel!" Giselle yelped in instinctive obedience and jumped to her feet. Unfortunately, she had forgotten about her roller-blades. Her feet immediately shot from underneath her and she was dumped onto her backside again.

Uriel began to hiccup uncontrollably as she tried to control her laughter. Gabriel's face was all-but expressionless except for his lips, which began to twitch as he seriously contemplated joining Rafael in the comforting abyss of hysteria.

Giselle erased the roller-blades from her manifested form and stood up again with a slightly chagrined smile. "Like, sorry about that guys," she said.

"Cadet Sagan," Gabriel began again. "You are being sent on your first mission!" Gabriel announced. "It is an important and highly intricate assignment that will involve you protecting the life of one whose destiny has importance to the Supreme Authority's most important purposes." Giselle gulped and would have begun to sweat if Angels sweat. "Don't worry, child," Gabriel said with a sickeningly false smile of reassurance, "the Supreme Authority Himself recommended you for this assignment! From now on, you will be the Guardian Angel of Ash Ethan Ketchum, the Chosen One."

"Wow!" Giselle said, most impressed. "I watched him in the Pokémon League this year! He's a dish! Uh I mean. Yes, sir!" Giselle shifted uncomfortably under Gabriel's censorious gaze. Every angel knew that such feelings for a mortal were absolutely forbidden, and had been since that terrible period known only as 'the Era of the Nephalim.'

Gabriel quickly briefed the young angel of the details of her assignment and she immediately departed for Earth, shifting through dimensions and time to reach her assignment in a timely manner.

When the cadet left, Uriel murmured a thought aloud. "I just don't know if I should wish luck to Giselle or to Ash Ketchum..."

On Earth, in fact at the abandoned mines close to Alazea City, Ash Ketchum felt something grab his shirt collar and he was launched towards the mine entrance at high speed. He also noticed vaguely that whatever it was, was carrying Misty too.

Brock, Pikachu and Stephen Kurt saw Ash and Misty fly out of the mine and land badly in the ground below the mine entrance. The funny thing was, they hadn't jumped It was as if they were being propelled telekinetically, or as if something invisible were carrying them.

"Elect-TRODE!" bellowed the TR Pokémon and used its' attack as its' Trainer had commanded.

The explosion tore the mine apart and Brock saw Butch and Cassidy fly out of the other entrance and into the sky with a despairing wail of: "Looks like we're blasting off too!"

Just before a combination of the fall and the massive acceleration of his departure from the mine shaft made Ash black out, he was certain that he saw a girl dressed all in white grinning down at him. She winked engagingly. "Hey, don't worry, kid," she said in an accent that was either Californian or purest Cerulean City, "like, I'll protect you!"

To be continued