It was a cheerful, sunny day.

Heero despised cheerful, sunny days. Not only did he despise the sun, he was out of his favorite snack to stow in his Gundam: lady fingers. So, in a sour mood, he fired up Wing Zero and flew off to find a store.

(Later, he was reported to be the cause of a jumbo jet "mysteriously" crashing in two pieces. But this has nothing to do with the story.)

Pulling up in front of the store, Heero walked Wing through the parking lot, stepping on cars and scaring the store's patrons out into the street. Halting Wing in the no parking zone right in front of the store, Heero dropped out of his Gundam and went in for his cookies.

With his desserts in hand and having given the smiling cashier a frosty glare that made her scream, he felt slightly more nihilistic than he had at the beginning of the happy, sunny day. Maybe he would go find Duo next...

However, when he reached his Gundam, he found a young, purple-haired woman in a cape standing in front of the mecha.

"Who are you?" he asked flatly.

"Aha!" she spun. "So you are the one who has illegally parked this obstruction of justice! Because you, such an inconsiderate, ill-mannered young criminal have parked your monstrous mecha in the wrong place, I, Amelia Wil Telsa Sairune, will impart to you THIS..." she paused to thrust a parking ticket in his face. "...Ticket of Justice!"

Heero stared at her blankly before taking the ticket and calmly shredding it. Amelia stared at him in horror as he brushed past her and climbed up towards Wing's cockpit.

"Tearing up the Ticket of Justice is a serious insult to those who would defend it! Raywing!" Amelia added a quick spell to a condensed speech and took off into the air after Heero, catching him just as he was opening the cockpit.

"Would you leave?" he glared at her.

"And leave Justice injured?! Never!" Amelia cried. "Diem Wing!" A huge gust of wind knocked Heero back into his Gundam where he landed behind the pilot's seat. Amelia flew in after him and sat herself down.

"Now, I will pilot this destroyer of Justice away from here!" She declared as Wing came to life and the hatch closed.

Had there been no one in the seat, Heero would have been able to retrieve his pistol (which he didn't tuck into his skin-tight shorts on the weekend) and eliminate the obstacle, but now, with Amelia in the seat, he was trapped, pressed up against the wall.

"I'll kill you," Heero growled as Amelia moved the Gundam away from the store. Then, he chanced to glance out the viewscreen and noticed a box on the ground; his lady fingers.

"My cookies..." Heero growled, wishing his arms could reach around the seat enough to strangle Amelia. "I'll kill you."

"Are you threatening this agent of Justice?!" she exclaimed, shifting around to stare Heero down. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"If you don't get out of my Gundam right now..." Heero hissed.

"So this is called a Gundam?" Amelia interrupted. "Well, then. I, Amelia Wil Telsa Sairune in my Gundam of Justice shall take you to the proper authorities and have you arrested!"

Wing struck an impressive set of poses against numerous flashy backgrounds, finally pausing, pointing magnificently off towards the horizon, then shot off. Heero couldn't resist one last threat as he was helplessly carted off by an unstoppable agent of Justice.

"I'll kill you."


Gundam Wing copyright (c) 1996-98 Hajime Yatate / Yoshiyuki Tomino / Sotsu Agency / Sunrise
Slayers copyright (c) 1989-1999 Hajime Kanzaka / Rui Araizumi / Kadokawa Shoten / TV TOKYO
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The result of too much free time, and too little sleep. R/R, if you stop groaning any time soon.
-A. Cox