From Inside
You know, I think people really don't understand me. I go to sleep each night, wondering, did I get my point across? It feels that the only people who really understand me are, well, my cards.
They understand what I'm trying to do, who I'm trying to be; and they help me get there. They believe in me, I know they do. I feel it in my heart; in my mind and in the trust we have for each other.
Yugi once told me not to have a deck with just monsters. But he didn't understand why I had that deck. That deck held only monsters because, well, I couldn't bear to leave any behind. I finally understood what he wanted me to do. He didn't want me to leave any behind, to abandon any.
He wanted me to help them win. It was then I had to choose my army. Those, who would follow me, always. It was hard. They weren't just cards to me, even then. They were the one thing I could keep with me, could work at with any chance of succeeding. To me, that meant a lot.
I think Grandpa understood. He wouldn't let me rest and he always seemed to give me a moment to say good-bye to a warrior that had to come out of the deck. It hurt to do that to them. To toss them aside because they weren't strong enough.
So I didn't.
I placed them in another deck. A deck that would stay by me, until I could pass it onto one a care for. It may seem like I'm looking to far ahead, but if I have a child, they will get this deck. These cards.
If I had told the others this, I know I would have gotten strange looks, well maybe not from all of them. It's funny how each of them knows one side of me.
Only my cards know every side. They are the ones that know me inside and out. They know how I work and that is a comforting thought. They know all my secrets and they still stay with me.
I chose warrior cards mostly, and there was a reason for that. They're loyal, will stay by you and will protect you. I can understand them.
Kinda weird when I talk to my cards more than my own father, but if you knew my father, you would understand.
Some days I wish I could blame it all on my mom, for leaving me here, but I can't. It wouldn't be right.
It's not her fault.
Nor is it mine.
A certain card made me see that. A ruby eyed Dragon that showed me that some things were meant to happen. Who would have thought that I could have won. But I did and even then I knew I didn't do it on my own.
Even on the inside I was being guided.
By the friendship of Tristan and the card he gave me. The one that happened to work with one from my deck.
By the confidence of Yugi, who did stay quiet, even though knew he didn't want to.
By Tea, who stayed right beside me the whole time.
By the Cards, who forgave my mistakes and helped me out, helped me win that spin and gain a new friend.
A friend who showed me that I was worth something. That I deserved this. I owe a lot to these cards. That's why they stay with me, even when the deck isn't beside me, they are in my heart. It doesn't make sense saying it like this, but some things just have to flow, have to be expressed without stopping.
This comes from inside, from the part of me that knows how I feel but can never be expressed.
Me: It's not well done but I had to write it.an actual worth reading story will come another day.
You know, I think people really don't understand me. I go to sleep each night, wondering, did I get my point across? It feels that the only people who really understand me are, well, my cards.
They understand what I'm trying to do, who I'm trying to be; and they help me get there. They believe in me, I know they do. I feel it in my heart; in my mind and in the trust we have for each other.
Yugi once told me not to have a deck with just monsters. But he didn't understand why I had that deck. That deck held only monsters because, well, I couldn't bear to leave any behind. I finally understood what he wanted me to do. He didn't want me to leave any behind, to abandon any.
He wanted me to help them win. It was then I had to choose my army. Those, who would follow me, always. It was hard. They weren't just cards to me, even then. They were the one thing I could keep with me, could work at with any chance of succeeding. To me, that meant a lot.
I think Grandpa understood. He wouldn't let me rest and he always seemed to give me a moment to say good-bye to a warrior that had to come out of the deck. It hurt to do that to them. To toss them aside because they weren't strong enough.
So I didn't.
I placed them in another deck. A deck that would stay by me, until I could pass it onto one a care for. It may seem like I'm looking to far ahead, but if I have a child, they will get this deck. These cards.
If I had told the others this, I know I would have gotten strange looks, well maybe not from all of them. It's funny how each of them knows one side of me.
Only my cards know every side. They are the ones that know me inside and out. They know how I work and that is a comforting thought. They know all my secrets and they still stay with me.
I chose warrior cards mostly, and there was a reason for that. They're loyal, will stay by you and will protect you. I can understand them.
Kinda weird when I talk to my cards more than my own father, but if you knew my father, you would understand.
Some days I wish I could blame it all on my mom, for leaving me here, but I can't. It wouldn't be right.
It's not her fault.
Nor is it mine.
A certain card made me see that. A ruby eyed Dragon that showed me that some things were meant to happen. Who would have thought that I could have won. But I did and even then I knew I didn't do it on my own.
Even on the inside I was being guided.
By the friendship of Tristan and the card he gave me. The one that happened to work with one from my deck.
By the confidence of Yugi, who did stay quiet, even though knew he didn't want to.
By Tea, who stayed right beside me the whole time.
By the Cards, who forgave my mistakes and helped me out, helped me win that spin and gain a new friend.
A friend who showed me that I was worth something. That I deserved this. I owe a lot to these cards. That's why they stay with me, even when the deck isn't beside me, they are in my heart. It doesn't make sense saying it like this, but some things just have to flow, have to be expressed without stopping.
This comes from inside, from the part of me that knows how I feel but can never be expressed.
Me: It's not well done but I had to write it.an actual worth reading story will come another day.