Disclaimer: Anything recognizable belongs to JK Rowling.
Chapter 6
Oh Daddy, you're so funny!
"What do you mean, you can't see her?" Professor Snape bellowed at Professor Dumbledore. "She's breaking one of your toys right under your nose!"
"I see the wreckage, but not the child," and indeed he could not. Only Severus Snape could see the thin naked little hellion, who at this moment was rifling through Professor Dumbledore's desk.
"Stop that, right now!" Snape pointed a long finger at the ornery little one.
Looking up at her father, the little vixen grinned a Hermione Granger heart-stopping grin. "Na, na, na, na, Na!" As she sassed him, she wriggled both a tiny finger and a tiny butt.
"Why you snotty little brat!"
"Severus!" Professor Dumbledore snapped at him. "You made her the ghost that she is, you can not run around snarling names at her for her lack of maturity."
"Albus, the little monster just…" Severus stopped as realization of what Professor Dumbledore said, "Albus, I didn't make her a--"
"Let's not argue about this," warily Professor Dumbledore stood up. "I'll need to inform the Ministry of Magic about Hogwarts' new poltergeist. As well as Miss Granger."
"But, Albus," Professor Snape wanted to explain.
"Really, Professor there's nothing you can say that will make this situation better," Professor looked 200 years old as he walked Snape to the door. "You'll just have to deal with our little ghost's tantrums form time to time, as will we all."
"But…" was the last thing Professor Snape got out before the door slammed in his face.
Slipping through Professor Dumbledore's door, Little One grinned up at him sleepily. Yawning she floated up to his middle and disappeared into his right side.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ghost! You're no more a ghost then I am Potter's biggest fan!" Snape was in the process of getting ready for bed, directing all his ranting at his right side with a poke of his finger. "Not a ghost (poke), confused spirit (poke), or lost soul (poke, poke)."
Jerking his old-fashioned nightgown over his head, "You're a brat, that's what you are! And I should know, I'm been up to my neck in them for over 20 years."
Snarling at himself in the mirror, he spat out the spell necessary to off the lights.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Next day…
Storming Severus Snape entered his classroom for his first class of the day.
"What are you doing!" he bellowed at the ruckus the first year Ravenclaws and Hupplepuffs were making. "50 points from each Hupplepuffs and Ravenclaws! And get to your seats!"
After the class was settled into their assignment, Professor Snape wondered what he was going to do about Little One. The child was tormenting him…
At 4:00 this morning, Little One had decided he had slept long enough and that he needed something wet and slimy first thing in the morning. He can just see the little snot, pondering on what evil to bestow upon him. In his mind's eye, he can see her big eyes as dark as chocolate chips gleam as Little One surveyed her weapon of choice (the glass jars lining the selves in his office.)
Never will he forget the feeling of all that slime and filth hitting his body. Or the "hee hees" and "Na, na, Naas" that followed as he chased the slippery little snot around the room, forgetting in his dripping rage that he couldn't catch her (but by Merlin, he had tried!)
To top off the ordeal, he was forced to bathe. Almost passed out when the water hit his face. Another little legacy from his bastard of a father, Snape thought, this helpless and extreme fear of being submersed in water, naked and drowning.
Thank Merlin, she's finally asleep. Snape thought to himself as he rubbed his side. Must have been the extremely large breakfast he uncharacteristically consumed before heading to class (though Merlin knows it could have been from the jolly good time she had this morning!) Professor Snape isn't sure how he knows it to be true, but right now the naked little hellion was fast asleep. Probably dreaming of how else she can torment me, Snape snorted.
Crouching low in his seat, Snape began to intently glare at his class, enjoying the looks of pure terror from any unfortunate child who happened to make eye contact.
Twenty enjoyable minutes passed as such, went there was a thud at the door.
"Professor Snape!!" A distressed looking Miss Granger came storming in. "You Rat Bastard!" She screamed at him, running at him with the devil in her eye.
"Miss Granger! What is the mea--" KA-POWW!
No one, least of all Snape, knew that Miss Granger's father, Mr. Granger, had insisted that his only daughter be taught to box. If he had only known, maybe he could have ducked the evil right hook that smashed into his jaw and sent him crashing to the floor.
TBC
A/N: Thanks for the great reviews, I wasn't sure anyone would like a "mpreg" story about Professor Snape and Hermione Granger, but I was really taken with it and wanted it to be my first fanfiction.