Disclaimer: anything recognizable belongs to JK Rowling. And the title comes from "Boomtown", I think.
Chapter 7
What doesn't kill you,
Makes you want to kill yourself!
"Uh…where am I?" muttered a dazed Snape. "Potter! 120 points from Griffendor…."
"That won't be necessary, Severus," Professor Dumbledore smiled down at the semi-conscious Potions Master. "It was Miss Granger who clocked you a good one, and she's really torn up over it."
"Well she should! I hope you have her curly head on the next train back home!" Snape struggled to sit up. "The nerve of the little…"
"Now, Severus," Professor Dumbledore soothed. "She thought her child had been sentenced to a ghost's imprisonment. She was distraught…"
"She thought….What!?" Snape tried to fly into denial.
"Severus, we know the baby's still alive," Professor Dumbledore grinned merrily. "Madam Pomfery found out when she examined you after Remus brought you in."
"Remus Lupin?" Snape's hand covered his right side, which he absently stroked. He missed the look that crossed Professor Dumbledore's face as he observed the protective gesture.
"Yes, Professor Lupin pulled Miss Granger off you." Professor Dumbledore leaned forward, "Severus, why did you let us believe you had terminated your pregnancy?"
Professor Snape snapped to attention. "For just that reason! All my colleges and those nasty little brats poking fun at this! More of this unwanted touchy-feely moments with you!" Professor Snape leaped out of bed. "On top of that, this child might still die, or worse be terribly deformed! And then it would be in the news: Man gives birth to deformed baby!"
Shrugging into his robes, he bellowed: "I just want to be left alone with what's left of my privacy!" With that Professor Snape stormed out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Seated at his desk after managing to make it to the dungeons without running into anyone, Professor Snape pondered the "weirdness" that has taken over his life.
It isn't an entirely bad thing, the professor thought, I will no longer have to worry about my family ending with me.
If only the little menace would stop that, Professor Snape thought, ducking just in time as a book flew by his head.
Professor Snape knew better than to give any reaction to the miniature tornado that the curly headed monster had made out of what was once a pile of graded, ready-to-return parchments on the different uses for dragon's blood.
This day couldn't sink any faster, Snape thought as he absently scratched the brim of his nose. Thank Merlin it's almost over.
No sooner had he thought those thoughts that the door to his sanctuary (his office door) swung wide open and let in more insanity in the form of Professor Dumbledore, Miss Granger, her parents: Mr. and Mrs. Granger, Mr. Weasley (the new Minister of Magic) and his wife Mrs. Weasley, and, bringing up the rear, an unknown witch and wizard.
The shit's storming tonight, Professor Snape thought as they closed in on him.
TBC
A/n: Thanks to everyone who reviewed this, it really makes my day. And Please, if you read this, please, please, review. I want to know how you like it and if there are any improvements you think I could make to it.