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CIRCLE OF ORBIT

~Jessenia~

Chapter One:
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Duo smiled as he walked into the theatre. The smile was calm and civil, not the usual full-hearted psychotic grins which he would flash confidently at Heero.

Not anymore.

His eyes were carefully happy, and that was all that they conveyed. He preferred not to think about Heero, which usually meant avoiding all topics about Gundam, war and life in general. Conversation for Duo had been limited to his relationship with Hilde, and the weather, though even the weather reminded him of the times when he had prattled on incessantly in a one-sided conversation because Heero refused to talk.

Well, all Duo could do was sit and wonder what life might have been like if he had made that choice. If that choice had even been his to make. Truth to tell, he hated every minute that he wasted with Hilde, every minute that he could have been spending with Heero. Only he understood that he had to take the opportunities that were presented him. Heero was not one of those opportunities.

The smile turns wistful for a moment as a wave of memories hit him. He clutched the popcorn bag to his chest in an attempt to ward off the thoughts. There was a sort of feeling that he had around her, a sense that she knew that she did not have his heart. Something in the way that she smiled at him, or laughed, or kissed him implied finality, as if she was prepared for their parting. And he felt certain that he could have liked her if they had met before Heero.

But they hadn't.

He felt like a drowning boy being suffocated in a mass of....

..... of what? Hilde loved him, which was something that could not be said about Heero. Who knew what that boy was thinking? Certainly Duo did not, though there were times when he thought he did. There was nothing more he wanted, except to have the power to lean over and kiss Heero, or console the lost child that he knew was in there, hiding behind those cobalt eyes.

But Heero wasn't his to take care of, or love. And it wasn't as if Hilde was irritating, only...well, Hilde wasn't anything. However hard he tried, he never felt anything towards her. She was neither repulsive nor seductive. He didn't love her but he didn't hate her. He felt completely neutral towards her, and that hurt most of all.

Hilde was nothing because she wasn't Heero.

It figured. Heero could go off with Relena and be happy and not spare Duo a second thought, but could he go off with someone who loved him and enjoy himself?

No.

His mind was constantly revolving around a world that wasn't his to revolve around. He was a sun, misplaced in a strange universe.

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The sun was sinking heavily beneath the city lights as Heero walked back to his apartment. He was lonely and heartbroken but he'd be damned if he went after Duo and spilled his guts. For all he knew, Duo was more than happy to be rid of him and enjoying a life with Hilde. Scowling, he cut off that thought and focussed on the road ahead.

How many times since the end of the war had he wondered where Duo had gone, only to convince himself that it didn't make a difference to him. How many times had he tried to understand what had driven him away from Relena and sent him here, to the job that he currently held, and the life which he currently led? He was almost certain that he didn't want Duo the way he had back then. That he had matured enough to realize that he was using Duo as an excuse to stay away from Relena.

And yet, deep down, there was a part of him that was never convinced by what he told himself. The part of him that had broken down the walls built around his emotions and followed Duo's directions precisely. The part that had enabled him to smile and laugh and talk, just like Duo had said would be necessary at the end of their battle....

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"Baka. Duo I'm serious. There is something wrong and there has been something wrong since we started out together as...well a couple." Hilde frowned at her lover and smacked Duo lightly on the arm. "I'm serious. You've been avoiding me long enough." Duo smiled, the kind of smile which could be interpreted in any way, then bent a bit in order to gain access to her mouth, kissing cautiously. An eery silence set a firm hand on the room.

The silence stayed for some time...
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TBC

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Jessenia: C&C please!!

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standard disclaimers apply