While I think it's somewhat self-indulgent to throw too many pop-culture
references into a story, I couldn't resist a little plug for Joy Division,
my favorite goth/post-punk/pre-new wave band. I actually do think that
Rogue might dig 'em too. Also, from now on, I'm going to try to respond to
comments at the end of each part, because it seems that some of you have
questions and I have a limited number of answers.
* * *
Etienne found me an' Mattie in de hallway right outside Jean-Luc's study. We looked at each other for a long moment. Tried t' remember what it was like t' be thirteen, not dat I was so far away. Half-forgotten memory's so often like a taste of somet'ing, lingering on de tongue but never fully swallowed. Etienne was growing taller, skinny, all legs and big hands and feet. A nose too big for de face.
"Qui c'est ça (who is that)?" he asked sharply. Obviously de fine art of sarcasm hadn't passed him by.
Mattie's hands closed solid on my shoulders. "Don't y' bother Remy none, Etienne." She batted at him wit' her hand.
"I'm not a kid anymore, Mattie!" he protested. "I'm going for de Tilling soon 'nough."
"Den stop actin' like un Paillasse (a clown), yeuhrm (do you hear)?" Could hear Mattie chuckle at Etienne's angry face, but she'd never let Etienne hear her. Mattie would never hurt a child's feelings on purpose.
"Sorry, Remy," Etienne mumbled. Mattie always could get de miracle apology.
"Emil tells me dat you want me t' sponsor you."
Suddenly, his face broke an' he smiled. Was just like he was a young kid again. "Would you?"
Felt a stab o' happiness. "Don't y' want Theo t' do it?"
Etienne shook his head violently. "Non. You de best."
"Well..." Didn't know what t' say t' dat. Gave me great pleasure t' be complimented, but part o' me wanted t' tell Etienne dat being in de Guild wasn't like dat at all. Each t'ief worked independently, but de collective goals made it so everyone needed t' make equal contributions. "Y' know I can't help you. De sponsor's dere t' make sure you don't cheat."
"I wouldn't cheat. Dey've all been teaching me."
"He's good." Jumped at de sound o' Jean-Luc's voice an' Mattie touched my arm.
"Isn't it nice dat Remy's come back to us, Jean-Luc?" Couldn't see her face, but dere was an edge t' her voice.
"Always knew you'd come back," he said, grudgingly. Close to civil as I could expect. Everyone in de Guild knew better dan to contradict Mattie 'bout anyt'ing really important.
Looked at Jean-Luc carefully, trying t' gauge de situation. He looked older den I'd remembered. Dere were pleats around his mouth an' between his eyebrows. More gray at de temples.
"Y' look tired. Somet'ing been worrying you?" I asked, tentative, feeling out de situation.
"'Sides you? Un front froncè dit pas que la cervelle ap'es travailler, des fois c'est juste un mal de tete (a wrinkled brow doesn't mean that the brain is working, sometimes it's just a bad headache)." Seemed dat Jean- Luc hadn't lost his flair for speeches.
"Chaque pied trouve son numero de souleir (each foot finds its shoe size, i.e. everyone eventually finds his/her place in life). What's your point?" I snapped back. Wanted him t' see dat I could give good as I got.
Must've been de right t'ing t' do because I saw him trying t' hide a smile. "Excuse us," Jean-Luc said t' Etienne an' Mattie. He took me into de study. Before de door closed, I heard Mattie offer Etienne some of de bread she'd been baking. Would have been some kinda thirteen year-old boy t' pass up food.
"Dere must be somet'ing on your mind," I said, once we were settled into two deep leather chairs. Inside, I was excited dat Jean-Luc was finally letting me talk t' him like an equal, but I didn't want t' ruin it by calling attention t' it.
Jean-Luc put his feet up on a nearby ottoman. "Couche Mal (evil spirits) in de air. De Antiquary is back in town. He's working wit' someone, but I haven't been able t' find out who it is."
"You want me t' find out? I'm sure I..."
"No," he interrupted kindly. "I wanted you here for Etienne, dat's all. After de Tilling you're welcome t' stay or go as you want."
Occurred t' me dat mebbe he didn't want me t' get hurt. "Etienne seems t' have grown a foot since I last saw him."
Jean-Luc smiled, openly dis time. "He's been eating us out o' house and home. Sometimes I t'ink might be worth it t' find more girls for de Guild. I'd be saving wit' food costs alone."
Dere was half a beat of awkward silence while I tried t' decide if he'd actually just cracked a joke. "Get no complaints from me."
"No," he agreed. Den he got a thoughtful look on his face. "Watch out for Mercy."
"Mercy?"
"Henri's girlfriend. Seems serious. Don't want t' t'ink 'bout what might happen if you were t'..."
Felt a flare of anger. Dis what it always boiled down t'--everyone t'inking dat I couldn't control myself. Any wonder dat most de times it was easier t' fulfill dere prejudices dan try t' convince dem dat dey were wrong? "Wouldn't do dat t' Henri," I said evenly.
Jean-Luc looked relieved. He always wanted t' protect his interests. A heartbroken t'ief is a bad t'ief. All at once, de whole conversation was soured. "Y' seen Bella yet?"
"Yeah. She's doing fine, says hello."
"Remy, d'you ever t'ink dat you an' Bella..."
"No."
"Fine."
De urge t' talk t' Rogue was a palpable taste in my mouth. Knew dat someday soon I'd have t' try t' explain all 'bout Bella an' de Guild and my family. Dere were lots o' times dat I could have, but I'd always pulled back. Not dat I wanted t' keep secrets from her, but I was afraid dat she wouldn't see it de right way. Didn't see how she would understand if I couldn't.
* * *
Middle o' th' third week o' homelessness an' Ah bought myself a cheap CD player, not somethin' that could do Joy Division much justice, but at least it kept Kitty away. Got ta the point where Ah'd see her comin' and snap on the headphones. Girl never could stand "Love Will Tear Us Apart" on continuous repeat.
She was convinced she could help me with my "man troubles" as she called 'em. Mostly Ah think she was just bored, an' things with Lance had kinda stalled on her. He an' the rest o' the Brotherhood had hightailed as soon as they could. No one likes ta think that their boyfriend would choose his friends over them. Ah felt bad for Kitty an' Ah certainly hoped Lance hadn't given her some kinda lame line like, "Bros before hos," but that didn't mean Ah was gonna let her be my own personal Dear Abby.
So Ah let myself get lost in the music, tried not ta think 'bout the times Ah'd been wakin' up outta my bed. Each time was farther and farther from the motel. Ah was afraid that there'd come a time when Ah'd wake up and not be able ta get back at all. No one seemed ta notice when Ah disappeared. Everyone was real nice an' things had seemed ta be pretty normal for awhile, but Ah could always see 'em draw back if they caught a glimpse o' the tattoo. An' the new powers didn't help either. God, Ah could lift more than Mr. McCoy an' fly faster than Pietro could run. Ah could take a hit better than Logan.
Ah'll admit, there was a part o' me that enjoyed tryin' out the new powers, as if they were toys. But ta remember Jenny...that always ruined it. Ah knew she was in my head somewhere, kickin' around, maybe waitin' her turn for the body. The more Ah thought 'bout that, the more my time started ta feel borrowed.
Then there was the night everythin' changed. Everyone was out ta the movies. Scott had suggested it, if ya can believe that. O' course he had t' say it was a morale thing. With the professor missin' an' Jean spendin' most o' her days inside her own mind, searchin' for his, Scott decided everyone was burned out. But when Ah'd declined, he hadn't asked again.
They'd been gone about half an hour when there was a knock on the door. My stupid heart kinda wished it might be Remy, even though Ah knew better than ta expect somethin' like that. Ah opened the door confidently, knowin' that there probably wasn't much in the world that could hurt me.
At first Ah couldn't see much o' anythin', but Ah could hear whoever it was breathin'. "Well," Ah snapped, "are ya gonna just stand out there like some psycho pervert? Whaddya want?"
The man slid into the room. Reminded me a little o' Remy, the way he moved was so controlled. He was dressed all in black, close-fittin' clothes, black shoes, black mask. "You must be Rogue." His accent was like Remy's, but there was an edge runnin' under his voice. Ah couldn't tell what that meant, but Ah assumed it wasn't good. Instinctually, Ah shifted my weight onto the balls o' my feet. Ah willed my body ta stay loose.
"You've got the advantage there, but Ah don't deal with guys in masks."
"Fair 'nough." He pulled the mask off, revealin' a face that was conventionally handsome: blonde hair, wide spaced blue eyes, a strong jaw. Looked a little like a model--unreal somehow.
"Ya know my name."
"I do."
"Ah don't know yours."
"I'd rather not say."
Ah turned my back ta him. "Then Ah guess we don't have anythin' ta talk about."
"I'm here 'bout Remy."
Felt a pinch behind my eyes. The room spun. Whispers in my ears. The heavy scent o' flowers. His hands above my knees. "I don't know what you're talkin' about."
"Gambit."
Ah shook my head. "Ah don't know..."
"Shame," he said, all false concern. "Would've t'ought y'd want t' know what Remy an' his old girlfriend are doin' down in Nawlins."
My vision went white for a second. Ah struggled ta stay conscious. Next thing Ah knew, Ah'd hoisted up the man by his collar and shot us into the sky. Don't know how far up we were before Ah stopped, but it was colder an' the air was definitely gettin' thin. Ah was reckless an' outta control. Wasn't what he'd said 'bout Remy exactly. Strange as it was, Ah trusted him not ta do anythin' stupid where other girls were concerned, but Ah was sick o' the cloak-and-dagger bullshit. "Ah think ya'd better stop playin' games an' tell me," Ah told him slowly.
"Bella," he gasped. "Bella Donna Boudreaux. Dey were 'posed t' get married but den Remy left town. Now dat he's back in de bosom of his family, dey're making plans again."
Thought back ta all my presents. Ah didn't want ta believe it. They seemed like gifts ta a mistress now an' Ah hated the man for making 'em ugly ta me.
"Why d'you care what Remy does? He can make his own decisions." Broke my heart ta say it.
"I love her." His voice was filled with such deep an' hopeless sadness it made me shudder ta hear it.
"What's your name?" Ah demanded.
"Julien."
* * *
klucky: oh I definitely want them back together, it's just taking a little longer than I thought. Ironically enough, I can't force characters to do anything. Lousy, disobedient characters. Neurotic Temptress: I see the whole cannon blending thing to be sort of like therapy. It's how I make sense of characters whose histories are spread over so many years. Plus, y'know, stealing is cool. ;-) evolutionary spider: it remains to be seen whether Remy is sending the packages or not. While it seems like something he might do, green scarlet has a point about the whole time issue. starlightz6: hope you're un-confused by now! The story picks up pretty much directly after the end of the last story. Lucky439, Shannan, Lynx, kitana, Erica: awww blushes thanks! I'm trying to update as quickly as I can. I wanna know what happens too!
* * *
Etienne found me an' Mattie in de hallway right outside Jean-Luc's study. We looked at each other for a long moment. Tried t' remember what it was like t' be thirteen, not dat I was so far away. Half-forgotten memory's so often like a taste of somet'ing, lingering on de tongue but never fully swallowed. Etienne was growing taller, skinny, all legs and big hands and feet. A nose too big for de face.
"Qui c'est ça (who is that)?" he asked sharply. Obviously de fine art of sarcasm hadn't passed him by.
Mattie's hands closed solid on my shoulders. "Don't y' bother Remy none, Etienne." She batted at him wit' her hand.
"I'm not a kid anymore, Mattie!" he protested. "I'm going for de Tilling soon 'nough."
"Den stop actin' like un Paillasse (a clown), yeuhrm (do you hear)?" Could hear Mattie chuckle at Etienne's angry face, but she'd never let Etienne hear her. Mattie would never hurt a child's feelings on purpose.
"Sorry, Remy," Etienne mumbled. Mattie always could get de miracle apology.
"Emil tells me dat you want me t' sponsor you."
Suddenly, his face broke an' he smiled. Was just like he was a young kid again. "Would you?"
Felt a stab o' happiness. "Don't y' want Theo t' do it?"
Etienne shook his head violently. "Non. You de best."
"Well..." Didn't know what t' say t' dat. Gave me great pleasure t' be complimented, but part o' me wanted t' tell Etienne dat being in de Guild wasn't like dat at all. Each t'ief worked independently, but de collective goals made it so everyone needed t' make equal contributions. "Y' know I can't help you. De sponsor's dere t' make sure you don't cheat."
"I wouldn't cheat. Dey've all been teaching me."
"He's good." Jumped at de sound o' Jean-Luc's voice an' Mattie touched my arm.
"Isn't it nice dat Remy's come back to us, Jean-Luc?" Couldn't see her face, but dere was an edge t' her voice.
"Always knew you'd come back," he said, grudgingly. Close to civil as I could expect. Everyone in de Guild knew better dan to contradict Mattie 'bout anyt'ing really important.
Looked at Jean-Luc carefully, trying t' gauge de situation. He looked older den I'd remembered. Dere were pleats around his mouth an' between his eyebrows. More gray at de temples.
"Y' look tired. Somet'ing been worrying you?" I asked, tentative, feeling out de situation.
"'Sides you? Un front froncè dit pas que la cervelle ap'es travailler, des fois c'est juste un mal de tete (a wrinkled brow doesn't mean that the brain is working, sometimes it's just a bad headache)." Seemed dat Jean- Luc hadn't lost his flair for speeches.
"Chaque pied trouve son numero de souleir (each foot finds its shoe size, i.e. everyone eventually finds his/her place in life). What's your point?" I snapped back. Wanted him t' see dat I could give good as I got.
Must've been de right t'ing t' do because I saw him trying t' hide a smile. "Excuse us," Jean-Luc said t' Etienne an' Mattie. He took me into de study. Before de door closed, I heard Mattie offer Etienne some of de bread she'd been baking. Would have been some kinda thirteen year-old boy t' pass up food.
"Dere must be somet'ing on your mind," I said, once we were settled into two deep leather chairs. Inside, I was excited dat Jean-Luc was finally letting me talk t' him like an equal, but I didn't want t' ruin it by calling attention t' it.
Jean-Luc put his feet up on a nearby ottoman. "Couche Mal (evil spirits) in de air. De Antiquary is back in town. He's working wit' someone, but I haven't been able t' find out who it is."
"You want me t' find out? I'm sure I..."
"No," he interrupted kindly. "I wanted you here for Etienne, dat's all. After de Tilling you're welcome t' stay or go as you want."
Occurred t' me dat mebbe he didn't want me t' get hurt. "Etienne seems t' have grown a foot since I last saw him."
Jean-Luc smiled, openly dis time. "He's been eating us out o' house and home. Sometimes I t'ink might be worth it t' find more girls for de Guild. I'd be saving wit' food costs alone."
Dere was half a beat of awkward silence while I tried t' decide if he'd actually just cracked a joke. "Get no complaints from me."
"No," he agreed. Den he got a thoughtful look on his face. "Watch out for Mercy."
"Mercy?"
"Henri's girlfriend. Seems serious. Don't want t' t'ink 'bout what might happen if you were t'..."
Felt a flare of anger. Dis what it always boiled down t'--everyone t'inking dat I couldn't control myself. Any wonder dat most de times it was easier t' fulfill dere prejudices dan try t' convince dem dat dey were wrong? "Wouldn't do dat t' Henri," I said evenly.
Jean-Luc looked relieved. He always wanted t' protect his interests. A heartbroken t'ief is a bad t'ief. All at once, de whole conversation was soured. "Y' seen Bella yet?"
"Yeah. She's doing fine, says hello."
"Remy, d'you ever t'ink dat you an' Bella..."
"No."
"Fine."
De urge t' talk t' Rogue was a palpable taste in my mouth. Knew dat someday soon I'd have t' try t' explain all 'bout Bella an' de Guild and my family. Dere were lots o' times dat I could have, but I'd always pulled back. Not dat I wanted t' keep secrets from her, but I was afraid dat she wouldn't see it de right way. Didn't see how she would understand if I couldn't.
* * *
Middle o' th' third week o' homelessness an' Ah bought myself a cheap CD player, not somethin' that could do Joy Division much justice, but at least it kept Kitty away. Got ta the point where Ah'd see her comin' and snap on the headphones. Girl never could stand "Love Will Tear Us Apart" on continuous repeat.
She was convinced she could help me with my "man troubles" as she called 'em. Mostly Ah think she was just bored, an' things with Lance had kinda stalled on her. He an' the rest o' the Brotherhood had hightailed as soon as they could. No one likes ta think that their boyfriend would choose his friends over them. Ah felt bad for Kitty an' Ah certainly hoped Lance hadn't given her some kinda lame line like, "Bros before hos," but that didn't mean Ah was gonna let her be my own personal Dear Abby.
So Ah let myself get lost in the music, tried not ta think 'bout the times Ah'd been wakin' up outta my bed. Each time was farther and farther from the motel. Ah was afraid that there'd come a time when Ah'd wake up and not be able ta get back at all. No one seemed ta notice when Ah disappeared. Everyone was real nice an' things had seemed ta be pretty normal for awhile, but Ah could always see 'em draw back if they caught a glimpse o' the tattoo. An' the new powers didn't help either. God, Ah could lift more than Mr. McCoy an' fly faster than Pietro could run. Ah could take a hit better than Logan.
Ah'll admit, there was a part o' me that enjoyed tryin' out the new powers, as if they were toys. But ta remember Jenny...that always ruined it. Ah knew she was in my head somewhere, kickin' around, maybe waitin' her turn for the body. The more Ah thought 'bout that, the more my time started ta feel borrowed.
Then there was the night everythin' changed. Everyone was out ta the movies. Scott had suggested it, if ya can believe that. O' course he had t' say it was a morale thing. With the professor missin' an' Jean spendin' most o' her days inside her own mind, searchin' for his, Scott decided everyone was burned out. But when Ah'd declined, he hadn't asked again.
They'd been gone about half an hour when there was a knock on the door. My stupid heart kinda wished it might be Remy, even though Ah knew better than ta expect somethin' like that. Ah opened the door confidently, knowin' that there probably wasn't much in the world that could hurt me.
At first Ah couldn't see much o' anythin', but Ah could hear whoever it was breathin'. "Well," Ah snapped, "are ya gonna just stand out there like some psycho pervert? Whaddya want?"
The man slid into the room. Reminded me a little o' Remy, the way he moved was so controlled. He was dressed all in black, close-fittin' clothes, black shoes, black mask. "You must be Rogue." His accent was like Remy's, but there was an edge runnin' under his voice. Ah couldn't tell what that meant, but Ah assumed it wasn't good. Instinctually, Ah shifted my weight onto the balls o' my feet. Ah willed my body ta stay loose.
"You've got the advantage there, but Ah don't deal with guys in masks."
"Fair 'nough." He pulled the mask off, revealin' a face that was conventionally handsome: blonde hair, wide spaced blue eyes, a strong jaw. Looked a little like a model--unreal somehow.
"Ya know my name."
"I do."
"Ah don't know yours."
"I'd rather not say."
Ah turned my back ta him. "Then Ah guess we don't have anythin' ta talk about."
"I'm here 'bout Remy."
Felt a pinch behind my eyes. The room spun. Whispers in my ears. The heavy scent o' flowers. His hands above my knees. "I don't know what you're talkin' about."
"Gambit."
Ah shook my head. "Ah don't know..."
"Shame," he said, all false concern. "Would've t'ought y'd want t' know what Remy an' his old girlfriend are doin' down in Nawlins."
My vision went white for a second. Ah struggled ta stay conscious. Next thing Ah knew, Ah'd hoisted up the man by his collar and shot us into the sky. Don't know how far up we were before Ah stopped, but it was colder an' the air was definitely gettin' thin. Ah was reckless an' outta control. Wasn't what he'd said 'bout Remy exactly. Strange as it was, Ah trusted him not ta do anythin' stupid where other girls were concerned, but Ah was sick o' the cloak-and-dagger bullshit. "Ah think ya'd better stop playin' games an' tell me," Ah told him slowly.
"Bella," he gasped. "Bella Donna Boudreaux. Dey were 'posed t' get married but den Remy left town. Now dat he's back in de bosom of his family, dey're making plans again."
Thought back ta all my presents. Ah didn't want ta believe it. They seemed like gifts ta a mistress now an' Ah hated the man for making 'em ugly ta me.
"Why d'you care what Remy does? He can make his own decisions." Broke my heart ta say it.
"I love her." His voice was filled with such deep an' hopeless sadness it made me shudder ta hear it.
"What's your name?" Ah demanded.
"Julien."
* * *
klucky: oh I definitely want them back together, it's just taking a little longer than I thought. Ironically enough, I can't force characters to do anything. Lousy, disobedient characters. Neurotic Temptress: I see the whole cannon blending thing to be sort of like therapy. It's how I make sense of characters whose histories are spread over so many years. Plus, y'know, stealing is cool. ;-) evolutionary spider: it remains to be seen whether Remy is sending the packages or not. While it seems like something he might do, green scarlet has a point about the whole time issue. starlightz6: hope you're un-confused by now! The story picks up pretty much directly after the end of the last story. Lucky439, Shannan, Lynx, kitana, Erica: awww blushes thanks! I'm trying to update as quickly as I can. I wanna know what happens too!