A/N: Just when you thought that I'd gone and done everything I possibly could to poor darling Gohan, the sadist in me comes up with yet another potentially damaging situation. Just to clarify some stuff: this is Gohan's first year at high school and no one knows any of Gohan's secrets.

Vegeta: *smirks* I think I'm going to enjoy this story.

T-chan: Noooo, ya think?

Vegeta: *glares at her* yes, I do think - unlike some others around here.

T-chan: *sneers* You shouldn't insult your mate like that dumbass!

Vegeta: *smirks again* You are just proving my point brat.

-_-;; Kami. it's like a battleground in here! By the way Tessa-chan, where did you get that cast?

T-chan: *sniffles, Bambi eyes, trying to get as much pity as she can* Vegeta crushed my elbow!

*raises an eyebrow* I didn't realize they came standard like that in the hospitals.

T-chan: *blinks, looks down at the Dragonball Z decorated cast* Uh. they don't.

Shucks! I was thinking about trying to antagonize my brother so I could have one too!


Disclaimer: I own Dragon Ball Z! I also own my highly deadly ^chopstix^ and I know how to use them. If anyone comes in here and tries to sue me… Kami help him, Lexi is armed and dangerous!!! ^___^


Videl glared at her watch in frustration. Only five minutes till school would start and still no sign of her wayward friend Gohan. ~Damnit! Of all the days to be late…~ Granted he was nearly always late, but still! 

Scanning the halls for any sign of him, her irritation only mounted as they began to empty of the throng of students that usually resided there. ~Shit, so much for wanting to talk to him before class!~ With a last look around the halls and at her watch, she joined the thinning throng of students, hurrying towards her 1st period class.

She slipped into her seat, barely on time. Glancing around, she noted the presence of her two blonde friends, and the absence of her dark haired companion.

Sharpener followed her gaze and snorted derisively, though not un-fondly. "Hmph, our pet nerd seems to be missing today. How very odd, it isn't like him to miss a class."

Erasa glared at the mocking tone and swatted him on the back of the head with her hand. "Shut up Sharpener, just because he's smarter than you doesn't make him a nerd. Though I am happy to see that you've finally mastered the fine art of sarcasm."

Sharpener shrugged and slouched indolently in his chair. "Hey, not only is he a straight A-er, the guy is naïve as hell. In my book that classifies him as a nerd, and a backwards mountain boy at that! Admit it- he has no social life and he spends all of his time on homework and commute to school!"

This time it was Videl who swatted him into silence, causing a bit more damage. The trio settled down, a bit surprised that their teacher hadn't yelled at them yet. Their Language Arts teacher was a tough old bat who didn't tolerate talking in the least bit, even from Hercule's daughter. Ever sharp eyed, Videl was quick to divine the answer; their teacher wasn't there. Passing on the information caused an outbreak of chatter and gossip, and Videl merely watched with mild amusement. Unfortunately for the talkers, their chatter was short lived.

The door opened and the biggest man any of them had ever seen edged into the room, needing to squeeze to fit through the door. Silence spread as the class struggled to adjust to the giant man. He was wearing a nice dress shirt and tie, slacks, and nice shoes. His bearded face wore a hearty grin and glasses perched on his nose. The only things disrupting the business like apparel were the odd ox horned helmet and the fact that the man topped legendary Hercule in height, weight, and muscle. Despite the friendly smile, the students found themselves edging away; there was something about this man that inspired both fear and respect.

The giant set a small bag on the teacher's desk, and smiled pleasantly. "Hello kids, I'm Gyu Mao, the Ox King. I'll be your sub for today, seeing as your teacher is sick. You'll have to kinda work with me here," he rubbed his neck self consciously, "I'm sorta illiterate."

The class stared; not only was his name 'Ox King', their Literature teacher was illiterate! Sure they were learning about paradoxes, but this seemed a bit extreme...

Suddenly one of the class history buffs gasped in startled recognition, looking up from his much read copy of 'The Biographies Of Modern Kings'. "Hey! You're THE Ox King! The one who hoards gold on the top of Mount Fry Pan! You and your ruthless daughter terrorize the countryside, killing everyone who opposes you and stealing their money! And it's rumored that you trained under the Invincible Old Master, The Turtle Hermit!!!"

The class laughed nervously, sure that he was just joking. I mean- they had all learned about the Ox Kingdom in Social Studies, but that didn't mean it was true did it? Everybody knew that history was just gossip from the past that they learned in school, right?

Ox King merely gave the kid a half smile, rather amused at the recital of his personal history. "Your book must be outdated – I stopped hoarding gold nearly 20 years ago when my 'ruthless daughter' got married. And yes, I did train under Master Roshi, as did my son in law and his grandfather."

There was complete silence as the class struggled to absorb this new information through their thick little skulls.

Suddenly the door flew open, drawing the eyes of a bemused class to a wind tossed Gohan standing framed in the doorway, excuse dying on his lips as he saw the man standing at the front of the room. The Ox King looked over and beamed, booming a greeting to his rarely seen grandson. "Gohan my boy!"

Gohan squeaked as he was pulled into a bone-crunching hug, to the further confusion of the class. "Uh… Hi grandpa, nice to see you, too. Um, what are you doing here? And would you mind putting me down? I can't breath."

Ox King gave a hearty chuckle, letting Gohan go and slapping him good- naturedly on the shoulder. Videl could hardly believe the scene in front of her; this giant was the grandfather of stick-skinny Gohan??? And why didn't he at least stumble when the man hit him? This was all pretty strange.

~and wait a sec, if he's Ox King, does that make backwoods-boy Son Gohan a prince!?!?~

Before she could voice her questions and revelations though, Ox King spoke up in reply to his grandson's questions. "Well, your teacher is sick and somehow the school got my phone number as a sub." He shrugged slightly, "I would have said no, but the lady sounded desperate and," he beamed at his bemused grandson, "I wasn't about to do anything that might make your mother mad at me."

Gohan had to agree to that point, and shrugged slightly before a rather un- Goku like glint appeared in his eye. "I'm still a bit curious as to how an illiterate warlord expects to teach a high school literature class."

The Ox King responded to his grandson's gentle teasing with a smirk of his own. Bowing ever so slightly, the giant gave his answer by lumbering up and sitting down in Gohan's chair, causing those near to edge away a bit. "I'm not going to. You are."

Gohan stared at the grinning man in horror, then slapped his forehead in mock horror. "Gee, thanks for reminding me where mom gets it from. Will Kami never stop torturing me?" Shaking his head in mock despair, Gohan gathered up the teacher's notes, muttering about getting lots of extra credit for this. Running the class with brisk efficiency, he managed to end the class without running past the bell, a fete that their regular teacher had yet to manage. He was quite aware of the fact that the only reason that anyone was listening to him at all was the gigantic presence of his grandfather among their ranks, but Gohan didn't really care one way or another. He'd be more than happy to escape this particular situation with even a shred of dignity and good reputation left.

~Dende, when school is over, expect a little visit from yours truly.~

*

A pleased Dende sat back, watching the scene with faint amusement. He often had a bit of fun tormenting Gohan in little ways, and this was proving to be even more entertaining then usual. He was well aware of the fact that today would be different - both in the magnitude of his torture, and also in the number of death threats Dende was likely to receive. Granted, he was used to getting at least two death threats a week from his human friend, but not three or four dozen an hour as he was now anticipating.

Hopefully for his continued immortality he would be able to explain the situation before his enraged friend actually carried out any of his threats… A thought suddenly popped into Dende's mind; if he could explain the situation to Gohan before the day got any more complicated…

~ Jade never said anything against it, though if I wait too long she probably will.~

The young god was just about to make the telepathic communication when a small explosion and a poof of heavily perfumed smoke interrupted him. Whirling around, he came face to face with Jade herself. Steeling himself, he slowly extended a hand in greeting. The ethereal girl-child smirked and clasped his hand warmly.

"Well met Den-chan, I'm ecstatic to know you began our little project so promptly!" She smiled prettily; tucking her cropped jade-green hair behind her ears. Dende bit his lip, bracing himself for whatever it was she undoubtedly came to tell him. Their friendship was an odd one, but it was firm, and he knew that she'd make the risky venture worth his probable death.

"I want to iron out some particulars in our little deal now that neither of us are… indisposed. First off; no telling him what your motives are, that would take the sport out of it!"

~Damnit, there goes that idea.~

She caught his wince and continued merrily. "Secondly; you have to approach him at the end of the day. I know what your chosen torture device is, and I've decided that you have to be his last sub of the day." At the look of utter terror on his face, she snickered lightly before continuing. "To make this all worth it, I will up your Dragonball wishes to 4 and increase the number of times you can raise the dead from 1 to 3. Is this acceptable?"

The terror had warped to a gleam of prospect and Dende nodded firmly. "Alright Jade, as long as you promise to carry through with it, you have yourself a deal!"

Clasping hands, they both signed a contract that disappeared off to who knows where, then bade each other a friendly good bye. With a flutter of iridescent wings, the beaming girl disappeared, leaving behind another cloud of perfume.

It took a full minute before the extent of his deal dawned on the doomed god, and he slumped to the floor. He had only been sitting there for a couple of minutes before he became resigned, then rather proud. After all, the rest of the Z gang faced life-threatening situations for the good of the Earth and the sacrifice of their lives all the time! Now he would be more worthy to be counted among their ranks!

Besides, ever since Gohan had started high school he had wanted to do something like this; not necessarily on this large of a scale, but still...

He was bound and determined to have fun. Leaving a note for Mr. Popo about funeral plans, he settled back on a leather recliner at the edge of his lookout. Grabbing a Pina Colada from Frozenflower's story, he settled down to relax and ignore the rest of the world's problems, and just focus on enjoying the last few hours of his life.

A/N: Funfun! All done with chapter two! I should have the next chapter out fairly soon since I have it written already. I just haven't typed it up yet.

T-chan: *sleazily* Gee Lexi-sama, I would offer to type it up for you, but my arm. I bet Vegeta would be happy to!

*glares* You think that I would actually let Vegeta TOUCH my computer?!?! I thought it was your arm messed up kid, not your brain!

Vegeta: *smirks* The arm was recent. The brain issue has been building.

T-chan: *snarls, leaps at him, clawing*

Vegeta: *holds her at arms length* See what I mean?

T-chan: *still trying to kick, claw, and bite, though totally out of range for all weapons*

-_-;;