A/N: *snickering helplessly* Methinks that you guys will like this chapter… *snickering continues*
Vegeta: *stares at Lexi in consternation* What the hell woman???
T-chan: *smirking* Ah yes, we got together the other day and we had soooo much fun cooking this chapter up!
Lexi: *nods head in agreement* We were really high on sugar and caffine…
T-chan: *snickers* We even had a sort of contest to see who could think up the most 'compromising' positions!
Vegeta: o.o` *starts backing away slowly*
Lexi: *glomps him* where do you think you're going bud! You have to stick around!
T-chan: *grins* Come on 'Geta- this chapter tortures Gohan the most out of any of the other chapters in any of Lexi's stories so far!
Vegeta: *eyes light up with interest* Oh really now…
T-chan: *nods happily* not to mention the fact that it's LOOOOOOOONG. As in- 14 pages last time I checked- and it's only part one!
Lexi: *smirks* And it has a big role for my Veggie-burger!!!
Vegeta: =_= I'm going to kill DragonKitty for teaching you that nickname- really I am…
Disclaimer: hmmm… it seems that most of you thought T-chan's disclaimer sucked- but told me not to hurt T-chan…
T-chan: *eyes lights up, grins happily* thanks!
Lexi: *smirks evilly* except for Burenda.
T-chan: *face falls* …
Lexi: *smirk grows* she said to have fun hurting you. So that's exactly what I plan to do!!! *chases after T-chan with ^chopstix^*
Vegeta: *watches in amusement* hmmm, it seems I'm rubbing off on the baka onna…
!Warning! This chapter contains severe OOC for Gohan- so don't say I didn't warn you. It also has some swearing and some 'mature' themes (no, nothing like that you hentai freaks!!!) But I figured it was enough to boost the rating to PG-13, although I can bring it back down if you guys think I should…
*
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Yamcha rolled over in his sleep and slammed a fist into the annoying machine, creating a huge crack, destroying it.
The sudden silence made him sit bolt upright, huge smile spreading over his face. He had finally done it! He had finally won the war against the stupid Saiya-jin proof alarm clock Bulma had given to him!!!
~This calls for a celebration!!!~
Yamcha hopped out of bed and pulled on some clothes, reaching for the telephone while trying to decide who he should invite for lunch. Pu'ar was the obvious choice, but he wanted to really celebrate! For a really good party you needed more than just the cat who lived with you… Thinking quickly through the list of friends and acquaintances, he finally settled on some old friends…
*
Master Roshi sat back with a sigh, contentedly wiping the drool off his chin. Now that was the best way to wake yourself up! His perverted old mind began running through the show again, completely ignoring the phone ringing in the background - Krillin would pick it up. He always did.
But not this time… This time it kept ringing and ringing, until even he began to get annoyed.
With a sigh, he pulled himself out of his hentai thoughts and scuttled over to the phone, picking it up on the last ring.
"Moshi moshi, Muten Roshi!"
~Kami but I just love the sound of that!!!~ (a/n: *snickers loudly*)
"Hey Roshi! I just defeated my arch nemesis! Want to go out to celebrate?"
"…arch nemesis?"
"Yeah! I'll tell you all about it when you get here!"
"Um, okay Yamcha… if you say so."
"Oh, and invite Krillin and company!"
For the first time since he came out of his hentai trance, Master Roshi realized that Krillin's ki- as well as 18 and Marron's- weren't there.
"Uh, sorry Yamcha, but they aren't here."
"Really? That's odd… Oh well! Come anyways! I would invite the Sons or the Briefs, but my wallet can only take so much…"
Roshi laughed slightly- he knew how that went… "Okay then sonny! I'll be over at your place as soon as I can get ready."
Both men hung up, looking forward to their upcoming 'party'.
*
Only an hour or so later, Yamcha, Pu'ar, and Roshi were driving towards a restaurant in Satan City. Suddenly Yamcha pulled the car to a halt and shifted in his seat to stare at the tall building from which emanated the kis of almost all the Z senshi.
"Wow, I wonder why they're all gathered in the city's high school- and why weren't we invited???"
He exchanged a meaningful glance with Roshi and Pu'ar before whipping the car around and pulling into the parking lot.
"Hmmm… it's about noon right now- I bet there'll be food in the cafeteria. I bet they'll let us in if they know who you are Yamcha-sama!" squeaked Pu'ar in that horribly girlish sounding voice of his.
Yamcha nodded thoughtfully and hopped out of the car- intent on figuring out what was going on, and leaving Roshi to follow along behind.
*
Gohan staggered out of the classroom, weaving around like a drunk. Concerned about 'her' Gohan, Erasa slung one of his arms around her shoulders- to help him stay upright, truly!!! It was just an accident that her 'helping hand' was rather close to that tight ass, and that his limp arm was lower than need be… honest!
Videl was busy eyeing the boy with curiosity- she had learned several interesting things in that class, as well as developed at least a dozen more questions for little Son Gohan- such as how the hell he could still be conscious after being hit over the head with a frying pan so many times!!! Granted he did seem a bit woozy…
Sharpener glanced over at Gohan while they were walking through the thinning crowds in the hall, eyeing him with something between admiration and pity.
"Some family dude! Your mom is one hell of a looker…" he whistled appreciatively and gestured with his hands, tracing an imaginary woman's body in the air in front of him - earning a horrified gasp from Gohan and another purse smack from Erasa.
Deep in shock, Gohan shuddered and squeezed his eyes close, leaning on Erasa a little more than she bargained for as he passed out - causing both of them to fall in a heap on the floor.
Sharpener blinked, then began to snicker at their very compromising position. Erasa's face turned bright red and she squeaked, desperately trying to wriggle out from beneath Gohan's dead weight – sure she wanted to get in this position with him; but preferably in private…
Videl glared at the pile, face turning a sickly green.
~Wait a minute- am I envious?!?!?!?~
She shuddered, forcing the color –and the offending thoughts- to fade, then set to work trying to pull Gohan off of Erasa before anybody noticed… Too bad for her that everybody in the hall had already noticed the little pileup.
Struggling to ignore the lewd jeers that flew at her, Erasa tried to maintain her dignity and continued to wiggle around underneath Gohan, hoping against hope that she could get out from underneath him. Unfortunately for her, Gohan was a lot heavier than he looked, and all she managed to accomplish was making her tight spandex tube dress ride up waaaaay higher than it should be, and shifting Gohan's head around until it was nestled between her breasts- not the most comfortable position for either of them.
Determined to save her friends' dignity, Videl carefully planted her feet straddling the couple and grabbed Gohan's shirt, using all of her considerable strength to pull Gohan off- or at the very least get him far enough off so that Erasa could worm the rest of the way out.
Yanking and tugging, she didn't hear the sound of ripping seams until it was too late. Thrown off balance by the unexpected absence of Gohan's weight, she stumbled, throwing her foot behind her in a last ditch attempt to keep from falling backwards.
In some sense the move worked, because she didn't fall backwards. Instead, her foot rolled over a strange fuzzy rope and she fell forwards to land on top of the shirtless Gohan.
Burning with embarrassment, Videl struggled to get to her feet, but without luck. The same fuzzy brown rope that she had tripped over was now wrapped around her waist and holding her firmly against the shuddering, unconscious Gohan.
~Damn! That was soooo not supposed to happen!~
Furious with herself, Gohan, Erasa, and everyone else within a ten mile radius, Videl began pounding on Gohan's back, demanding at the top of her capacious lungs that he let her go immediately. She wasn't quite sure why, but she was positive that the offending rope was somehow being controlled by the unconscious boy.
"Son Gohan you let me go right now!!! We have a torture- ah, I mean… a questioning session scheduled right NOW!!!"
She continued pounding relentlessly on his bare back for another minute before giving up. He would come to eventually… and then the expression on his face when he discovered Erasa underneath him, where exactly his face was situated, and the fact that he was shirtless with Videl on his back would be more than equivalent payback for the indecency of the situation.
*
Sharpener watched the entire scene, laughing his head off. In the middle of his laughing fit, he had the sudden urge to take a camera out of a pocket and capture this moment on film so that it would last for eternity.
With a smirk he stuck his hand in his pocket and fished out a digital camera and began snapping pictures.
It never occurred to him to wonder how exactly a digital camera –which he didn't own even if he had been able to afford one- had gotten into the pockets of these martial arts pants –which didn't happen to have any pockets now that the author stops to think about it…
No, his puny little brain was too overcome with the hilarity of the scene to ponder such deep and mysterious questions.
*
Dende watched the little scene with amusement. Giving that blond boy a camera was a stroke of genius! Not to mention engineering that whole pile-up…
He played around with his Pina Colada, thinking back to earlier that morning when he'd been busy setting his scheme in motion.
~Intertwining timelines is fun!!!~
* Flashback to Earlier that Morning *
Vegeta watched the two brats with a smirk. The food they were so desperately trying to prepare was probably inedible, but just watching them scramble around the kitchen in fear of their lives was amusing enough to warrant a late breakfast prepared by the Woman.
"Hurry up brats! The Gravity Room is getting cold!" he snickered to himself as they redoubled their pace. Oh the joys of being evil…
Suddenly there was a flash and a loud boom from between Trunks and Goten. Vegeta cursed fluently in Saiya-jin. If those two had destroyed part of the kitchen…
Luckily for the prince it wasn't the sounds of destruction; rather, it was the sound of incoming disaster- for Gohan that is.
Coughing to clear his lungs of smoke, Mirai Trunks stumbled out of the smoldering Time Machine. Desperately trying to put out the flames issuing from the engine, Mirai grabbed a cup from it's place by the sink and tossed it on the flames without checking the contents - or heeding his younger counterpart's frantic warning.
All four Saiya-jins were thrown backwards by the intensity of the fire as the entire Time Machine went up in a blaze of fire, incinerating itself into a pile of ashes in less time than it takes for Lexi to say '^chopstix^'!
"Dumbass!!! That was bacon grease!!! You're not supposed to throw bacon grease on a fire! I can't believe I grow up to be that stupid…"
Chibi Trunks's muttering was rewarded by a smack on the head from Mirai.
"Shut up brat! How was I supposed to know it was grease??? Since when do normal people stick cups of grease by sinks???"
"Since dad decided to force us to cook for him!"
"I rest my case."
"…"
Mirai Trunks smirked down at his younger counterpart, who glared up at him in obvious confusion. How exactly did that statement win Mirai's argument? Goten patted his friend on the back reassuringly.
"Don't sweat it Trunks, I didn't get it either!"
Trunks sweatdropped and was about to start yelling at his younger friend when Bulma rushed into the room.
"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE??? WHO DESTROYED MY KITCHEN???"
All four brought their fingers up- the Trunkses pointing at each other, Goten pointing at Mirai, while Vegeta pointed in the general direction of the chibis.
Bulma snarled and snatched the frying pan the boys were using for bacon off of the stove and belted them all over the head. She knew Saiya-jins; if one was guilty, they all were.
"Now one of you had better explain what happened here- and how Mirai Trunks got here."
Vegeta spoke up, eager for the woman to cast the blame to the brats. "The Mirai brat showed up in the middle of the kitchen, his time machine burst into flames, the baka threw grease on it, and the damn thing was incinerated."
"Oh. Really. And what exactly made him throw grease on the fire?"
Vegeta opened his mouth to reply, but the phone rang before Bulma got the chance to give all four of them a severe lecture.
Being the closest, Vegeta reached out and grabbed the phone- it was the best way to avoid the woman's questions after all… Grunting briefly to indicate that someone had picked up, he listened to the young woman on the other end of the line.
"…Hello, is Trunks Mirai there?"
Vegeta held the phone away from his head and stared at it in perplexity. The Mirai brat had been here all of five minutes and he already had females calling him!
~Must be my blood…~
Tossing the phone at the newcomer, he stalked over to the fridge, grabbed as much food as he could carry, and high-tailed it out of there for the gravity room.
Mirai Trunks stared at the strange object in his hands. Sure, he knew what a phone was, and how it worked- but he'd never actually used one…
"H-hello?"
"Hi! My name is Essa Tengler, secretary for Orange Star High. We're missing a huge amount of teachers, and I have your name down as a possible sub! Can you come teach today at 8:00?"
"…sub?"
"…yes. Sub. Can you?"
"a-alright…"
"Thanks Mr. Mirai!"
Carefully setting the phone back in the cradle, Mirai turned to meet the curious gaze of his Young Mother.
"That was a lady. She wants me to do something called 'sub' at a place called Orange Star High. At 8:00. What does that mean?"
Bulma and the chibis all sweatdropped, and Bulma shook her head slowly in disbelief. "That means they want you to teach at the city's high school."
"…high school? What's that?"
Bulma face-vaulted, then shook her head again. "And you've already said yes, too… Oh well, nothing for it! Come on chibis, lets go! We're going to go teach a class!"
She grinned happily- this would be fun! Gleefully running back up to her room to get ready, she informed Vegeta of the trip through their bond.
The Saiya-jin no Ouji wasn't nearly as thrilled, but when she promised an extra helping of 'dessert' that night, he was sort of willing to cooperate.
Within half an hour Bulma was ushering them all out the door, several inventions tucked away in her pockets- just in case.
Not to mention enough food for four Saiya-jins…
* End Flashback *
Dende nodded to himself again. That had been rather worthwhile…
So far the Briefs hadn't had any classes to teach, which might be considered a blessing… though it also meant that somewhere in a crowded building, there were four Saiya-jins sitting in close quarters for an extended period of time with no distractions…
By the time Gohan was going to get there, Dende was willing to bet that something would be irrevocably destroyed… Preferably Gohan's social life.
Dende smirked. He had made up his mind over the course of the day- Jade was the kindest, most considerate person he knew. Not only was she going to reward him at the end of the day, she had opened the doors to Gohan Torture; Dende's new favorite pastime…
~Oh the things I will do with your social life, dear little demi Saiya-jin…~
Throwing his head back, Dende let out a laugh that would have been far more appropriate for a Super Villain than a god…
*
Chichi whistled happily to herself as she straightened up her books. She knew that that was the only class that she had, but that wasn't about to stop her from enjoying the rest of the afternoon locked away in a small classroom with nothing but textbooks and her long dead husband!!! No, no- of course not!
Smiling seductively, she turned towards her oh so manly husband, only to find empty air. She stamped her foot in frustration and sighed. He was probably hungry again.
~Damn his stomach!~
Going back to straightening her books, she whistled cheerfully pulling out a dust rag and cleaner and walking around the room, singing to herself as she put the room to order.
It took a couple of seconds for the full impact of the thought to hit her. Goku the bottomless pit was wondering the halls in search of food…
With a sigh, she stuffed her belongings back in her dimensional pocket and, straightening her clothes, she set out to save the cafeteria from her husband.
*
Videl sighed and propped herself up on her elbows, looking down at Gohan's back. This was the first time she'd seen the boy without a shirt on… She hadn't realized he was so damn fine!!!
Mentally whacking herself for daring to think such feminine thoughts, Videl took the fighter's way of studying the back in front of her…
It still looked pretty damn fine…
~How in Kami's name did the bookworm get so muscular??? …and those look like battle scars!!!~
In shock, Videl ran her fingers along the lengths of several scars on Gohan's back.
"Son-kun…you certainly have been keeping secrets…"
Muttering softly to herself, Videl continued to trace the scars absentmindedly. Anything to keep her from thinking girly thoughts about Gohan!
*
Goku walked down the hall, whistling cheerfully and greeting students as he passed. He was hungry, and he wanted food!
Suddenly he stumbled, and, glancing down, found a pile of teenagers on the floor in the middle of the hallway. Unable to just stand there and ponder the situation –given the fact that he was currently falling– he reached out to steady himself.
Now, we must remember the fact that for the past seven years Goku has been training with other fighters- of whom most wear weighted clothing. Given this, it shouldn't be surprising that the first thing he grabbed to steady himself was the voluminous white shirt of the top-most teen on the pile. Imagine his surprise to find absolutely no resistance! Rather, the shirt came off in his hands!
Goku stumbled backwards, again thrown off balance. Steadying himself with his ki, Goku began inspecting his new possession.
*
Sharpener continued snapping pictures as the guy from the last class walked up, tripped over his friends, and pulled off Videl's shirt. Sharpener's eyes bugged out and he continued snapping pictures of Videl's now bare torso. (a/n: she's still wearing a bra you hentai freaks!!!)
Suddenly he looked up at the object the man –Goku, yes, that was his name!- Goku was inspecting. Videl's shirt!
Abandoning the camera in preference of the object he'd wanted to get his hand's on since he first met her, Sharpener lunged at Goku, aiming to take possession of the shirt.
*
With a smirk, Dende transported the camera from where it lay on the floor of OSH, to his Lookout. Smiling happily, he called to Mr. Popo to bring him a computer- with internet connection. What better way of ruining Gohan's life then posting the pictures on the world wide web?
*
Goku stared at the human boy who was currently in the process of throwing himself at Goku. Goku blinked. Why ever would he want to do that?
As soon as Sharpener grasped the cloth he tugged, positive that he could overpower the brute by sheer surprise. Unfortunately for Sharpener, he took Goku by neither surprise nor strength. Instead, Goku tugged at the cloth and sent Sharpener flying across the hall to smack into the lockers twenty feet away- making a dent and getting knocked unconscious all at once.
Goku blinked in confusion, then shrugged and went back to inspecting the remnants of Videl's shirt.
*
Chichi bustled out of the room and scanned the hallway for her mate. He shouldn't be too hard to find after all…. She caught sight of his back just as he sent a young blond boy sailing. Eyes narrowing, Chichi pulled out her Frying Pan- she had the feeling she was going to need it.
She blinked in astonishment as she caught sight of the pile in the middle of the hallway. Her baby was laying on top of one girl, his shirt off, with a shirtless girl on top of him!!!
"GOOOOOOHAAAAAAAN!!!"
Lucky for Gohan, he was still passed out and safely in La La Land… Poor Goku wasn't so lucky, and he chose that moment to show Chichi the shirt.
"Hey Chi, look!"
Chichi's eyes narrowed even more, and even Goku could sense the irritation seeping out of his wife. Screaming at the top of her lungs, Chichi took off after the poor Goku brandishing her Frying Pan.
*
Master Roshi, Yamcha, and Pu'ar stared in blank faced astonishment as the scene unfolded in front of them. Blood dribbled down from Roshi's nose as he watched Goku rip of the teenager's shirt.
~Mmmmm, yummy…~
Yamcha blinked a couple of times, then rubbed his eyes with his fists, hoping to make the scene disappear.
No such luck. Suddenly he allowed a small smirk to spread across his face.
"So, I ask again- what's going on, and why weren't we invited?!"
Master Roshi shrugged, not breaking his gaze for a second. It was times like these he wished he carried around a camera…
*
Vegeta growled as he struggled to meditate despite the loud talking of the brats and the woman. He'd been trying to meditate for several hours with no success. At this rate he wasn't planning to sleep for a couple of nights…
He opened his eyes and glared at each of his family members in turn. His brat and the Kakabrat were in one corner whispering to each other, the woman was sitting on the floor, tools and blueprints spread in front of her, working happily, and the Mirai brat was alternately talking with the woman, helping her, and trying to meditate- all with far more success than Vegeta.
No longer able to take it, Vegeta got to his feet, walked over to the chibi brats, and grabbed them by their ears. He needed a spar, and he needed it now. Dragging them out the door, he ignored their squawks of protest and led them out to the front of the high school.
"Alright brats- we're going to spar, got it?"
Goten and Trunks yelped again as he tossed them into the ground in front of him. Muttering protests under their breaths, they got into fighting stances, only for Vegeta to disappear and hit them from behind.
With that, the spar was on.
More like the beating was on, now that I think about it… The chibis were getting pounded into the dust by all of Vegeta's pent up frustration.
*
One of the alarmed students pulled out their cell-phone; this wasn't right! She just had to get someone on the scene that could save the poor darlings from the evil man!
"Hello, officer? I'm calling from Orange Star High School… some weirdo is trying to kill two little kids! …You'll send someone right over?! Oh thank you!"
With that, Alix hung up her phone and retreated a safe distance away to wait for help to arrive…
*
Videl's watch beeped, calling her out of her Gohan-induced trance. She blinked a couple of times and looked down at the offending watch. "Uh…hi? Videl here…"
"Videl-san? Good! We just got a call telling us that there's a situation out in front of your school! Can you take care of it?"
"Sure officer." Videl sighed and contemplated how in Kami's name she was going to get Gohan to let go of her.
As if hearing and answering her plea, a solution came into her mind… Looking around herself for a moment, Videl's eyes fell on a frying pan laying beside her.
~That's weird…there wasn't anything there a minute ago…~
Shrugging slightly, Videl picked it up anyways. Time for action!
*
Dende smiled as the human girl found his present… every future mate of a Saiya-jin needed her very own Frying Pan… It was a fact of life!
Even to an asexual teenage god, it was obvious that this black haired she-devil would mate with Gohan- hell, she had been so entranced by Gohan's bare back that she hadn't noticed that blond boy's picture taking, felt Goku rip off her shirt, or heard Chichi's scream…
Dende smirked again and leaned forward, motioning Mr. Popo to bring him yet another Pina Colada.
*
Gohan was dreaming pleasant dreams of food when, suddenly, his dream was interrupted by a fierce, Frying Pan induced pain in his head. He yelped slightly, coming awake immediately to find his face nestled between two very soft lumps…
Suddenly his face drained of blood as certain things connected in his brain, and he took stock of what position exactly his body was in… Slowly lifting his head up, he gazed down at a grinning Erasa. He watched in horror, blood flowing quickly back up to his face as the blonde took a long drag from the cigarette that had magically appeared in her hand and blew a heart shaped smoke ring into his face.
Gohan felt himself disconnecting with reality yet again- this was too much! But he was rudely called back from the brink of blessed oblivion by a voice shouting in his ear.
"Oh no you don't Son Gohan! You are going to release me this second!"
The blood drained from his face again. (a/n: poor gohan's a bloody strobe light!!!^^)
White faced, he took stock of what was on top of him rather than just what was beneath.
There was someone named Videl on his back… and he had the strangest feeling that there was nothing between them in the way of clothing…
Looking down at himself he was aware of a rather embarrassing new development- he didn't have a shirt on!!!
Not even waiting for the blood to rush back up to his face, Gohan leapt off of Erasa (much to her dismay, I'm sure) and clung onto the hanging lights on the ceiling, shaking with suppressed fear. What was going on here???
Something strange apparently, because when he looked down, he was faced with a shocked Videl hanging several feet above the ground, shirtless, suspended by Gohan's re-grown tail.
~woah, woah, woah… my TAIL?!?!~
Numb with shock, Gohan wiggled his tail experimentally. A foot below him, Videl wiggled.
He slowly lifted his tail closer to him. Videl was now less than a foot below him.
Entranced as he was by the fact his tail had grown back, Gohan didn't register Videl's possession of a Frying Pan until it whacked his tail with as much force as the angry human girl could muster. Gohan shrieked in pain and both came tumbling out of the air.
Gohan blinked his eyes a few times and slowly tried to sit up, only to collapse back in pain- Videl was on top of his tail, and he was on top of her- rendering it impossible for either to get up without causing intense pain to the poor demi Saiya-jin. Whimpering slightly, Gohan looked down to find his face mere inches from Videl's.
Videl grunted slightly as Gohan landed on top of her. Opening her mouth to scream at him, she stopped suddenly as she realized that their noses were practically touching. Now, normally this wouldn't have caused the strong-willed fighter to even blink, but suddenly she found herself falling silent- completely loosing herself in the black depths that were Gohan's eyes. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn she was in –what did Erasa call it? Oh yes- sworn that she was in love with Gohan… But she knew herself better than that… Didn't she?
Gohan felt himself sinking lower and lower into the depthless blue pools that were the eyes of Videl Satan- Daughter of the Biggest Fraud in the history of the world… If he hadn't known better he might actually have thought that he was in love with this she-devil… But no, she hated him! He couldn't possibly love her… Could he?
*
Dende watched the young couple and tittered slightly- the alcohol was getting to him… Snickering slightly, Dende leaned forward, waiting for the exact right time to strike… almost… almost… Suddenly Gohan let the Saiya-jin side of him come to the fore, and he slowly lowered his head to kiss Videl. Her eyes closed, and her lips parted… Dende held his breath. Almoooost…
Their lips brushed and Dende struck.
*
Gohan couldn't believe it- he was going to kiss Videl! But he couldn't stop himself… He knew she was going to kill him for it, but he was going to try anyways. Right as their lips brushed, something hit Gohan.
With a gasp of surprise, Gohan rolled off of Videl- and kept on rolling due to the fact that his so newly acquired tail had decided to play hide and seek…
~…DeeeeeeenDEEEEEEEEE!!!!~
Enraged, Gohan leapt to his feet, too angry at this point to care what the other teenagers saw and heard.
"DAMN YOU DENDE!!!" Seething, Gohan didn't register the fact that his eyes had flickered to a steady aqua blue… "Damnit Dende! I don't care if you're Kami, I'm going to tear you into a million pieces and scatter you to the ends of the Earth!!! You'll be in so many pieces that not even Shenlong will be able to gather them all!!!" Ranting and raving, Gohan stormed down the hallways in search of an exit- He had a god to fricassee.
*
A couple of feet away, one girl leaned over towards her friends. "Hey Burenda- who's Gohan talking to?"
"Oh! Sorry Halo, I'm not sure- I wasn't listening. Too busy drooling over that hot body of his!"
"…You've got a point there… He is hot without his shirt on. Just look at those muscles!!! Hey Maria! Check it out- Gohan took his shirt off!"
"Yeah… and to think we always accused him of being a skinny bookworm!" The giggling trio walked on, looking over their shoulders frequently until they rounded a bend in the hallway.
*
Videl sat up and blinked her eyes in an attempt to clear the hearts that were currently doing the disco in her eyes. She stared in amazement as Gohan ranted to the roof, then began stalking through the hallways intently. She slowly brought her fingers up to touch her lips. Had shy little Son Gohan almost kissed her?
Suddenly she pulled herself out of her self-induced trance and back to reality- she still needed answers from the boy. Not to mention the fact that she needed to hustle her buns outside to the front of the school…
Sighing, she hopped to her feet and took off down the hall in a sprint, not even bothering to notice the fact that she was only wearing her lacy black under-wire push-up bra.
(a/n: t-chan: …um, lexi? Since when did videl wear that kind of bra? lexi: …since dende became a manipulative little twerp intent on destroying gohan's life. t-chan: oh! Okay then!)
*
Master Roshi (as well as every guy in eye distance) could feel his blood pressure rising as he watched the scandalously clad Videl get hoisted into the air, then sprawl into a seductive pile on the floor (complete with sexy background music provided for every male listener by our favorite god^~), then get to her feet and run through the halls wearing only the afore-mentioned bra (boing! boing!) and some tiny black spandex biker shorts- leaving a trail of shell-shocked guys and bloody noses in her wake… (a/n: as well as the longest run-on sentence I've ever written^^)
Too bad for Sharpener that he was still 'out'… (a/n: *laughs evilly*)
*
Gohan stalked around the final corner and burst out of the school, only to be faced by the small-scale war on the quad [1]. (a/n: or a small-scale spar if you look at it from the Saiya-jin's view…) With a growl of annoyance, Gohan walked forward and plucked his little brother out of midair.
"And what exactly do you think you are doing?"
Goten's eyes opened wide as he looked into the face of his captor- he had never realized how scary his older brother could be when he was only half-way through the transformation to SSJ!
"Uh…sparring with Uncle Vegeta?"
Gohan threw his little brother to the ground, ignoring him as he scampered off to safety, and whirled to face Vegeta- who was still punching his son rapidly in a vain effort to let out some of his anger without doing something that would make the woman mad at him- such as ki blasting a pen for instance. No- he knew better then that. It was safer by far to simply pound their only son into a bloody pulp…
"VEGETA!!!"
To everyone's surprise, Gohan's call actually captured the attention of the arrogant prince.
"What are you doing?!"
Vegeta sneered at the eldest Kakabrat. "Sparring baka. What else would the mighty prince of the Saiya-jins be doing?!"
Gohan narrowed his eyes and glared. "If you really want me to answer that, then you'll have to wait- there's virgin ears around." Sneering, Gohan gestured at the students standing around the outskirts of the unofficial sparring zone.
Vegeta smirked. He must be rubbing off on the elder spawn of Kakarott! "Forget it Kakabrat. Lets just get on with it, shall we?"
Gohan returned his smirk and both Saiya-jins lowered themselves into their flawless fighting stances, the chibis skidaddling for safety- grateful for the escape.
Before the new sparring match could begin, however, Videl stomped into the middle of their alleged fighting ground, steam practically pouring out of her ears.
"Alright, somebody had better tell me what's going on here, right now or there'll be hell to pay!!!"
Spying an opening, Alix ran forward and pointed at Vegeta. "That man was trying to beat two little children to death! Then Gohan here came out and saved the black haired chibi and distracted the big meanie while both the kids got away!" She turned towards Gohan, eyes shining with hero worship.
Gohan rolled his eyes, but eased out of his fighting stance in preference of blinking cluelessly at Videl, eyes having returned to their normal black.
Videl glared at him in rage- every time she got close to getting the answers about Son Gohan, all she ever got was more questions! Such as how the hell he had such a flawless fighting stance! Until she had seen that, she could have sworn the boy didn't know what fighting meant, despite all those muscles… Forcing her eyes off of Gohan's muscular chest, she turned her glare towards the alleged child abuser.
"Alright Mister- I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you under arrest for attempted murder."
Vegeta's eyes widened for a split second before narrowing back into his preferred Death Glare™.
"And what the hell for?"
Videl growled softly- how stupid could people possibly get??? "I just told you- attempted murder!"
Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Don't be stupid, human (if that's at all possible)- I don't attempt murder, I commit it." As if to prove his point, Vegeta raised his hand and fired an absentminded ki blast at one of the innocent students on the sidelines. At least, it was weak by his standards, but it was still more than enough to kill poor little Yuri Hayabusa.
Gohan sighed and rolled his eyes- oh the joys of being 'friends' with Vegeta…
"Kami Vegeta, that was hardly necessary- If you wanted to prove your point you should blow up something that wont come back and bite you in the ass. At the rate you're going you'll never get into heaven! When I asked dad a while ago, he told me that King Yemma[2] has a whole file cabinet devoted to you- and it's bigger than Frieza's and Cell's put together!"
Videl looked really confused, but Vegeta smirked proudly. "Damn straight third-class! I, the almighty Saiya-jin no Ouji, am high above all others- especially in vindictive killings. Besides- a third of those deaths are just worthless little humans! Not only are they annoying, but they're damned plentiful too! Killing a few here and there wont hurt anything, anyways- even an ex super villain needs his daily dose of deaths."
"Whatever floats your boat, Vegeta- I don't really give a shit about what you do in your spare time. However- killing students in my High School is not acceptable. To make up for killing what's-his-face over there, you have to collect the Dragon Balls for me so we can wish him back. Not to mention erase this whole f*cking day out of these baka's memories…"
Vegeta snarled at Gohan and flashed Super Saiya-jin- earning many gasps of disbelief from the students.
"MAKE ME THIRD-CLASS!!!"
"FINE YOUR ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS!!!"
Gohan joined the prince in SSJ, then boosted up to SSJ2. With a cry, they flung themselves at each other and the spar began.
*
[1] Oooooh… I decided to do those cool little numerical reading notes! ^^ At my high school we have a big grassy area with trees in front where we can eat our lunch and walk through to get to class and such that we call the quad- thus the name for it at Gohan's school… I'm not sure if other schools do that to, we're rather singular… *sweatdrops*
[2] King Yemma- is that right? I'm not really sure about the kais and kings and such… -_-;;
A/N: *snickering uncontrollably* that was sooooo much fun to write!!! And it's only the first half of 'lunchtime' too… D MWAHAHAHAAAA
T-chan: -_-;; Lexi… you will never change, will you…
*smirks* of course not! XD
Thanks go to the following for allowing me to 'borrow' their names= DragonKitty (Alix), Burenda, Maria Cline, Halo(HaloGatomon), and Yuri Hayabusa (Psycho Gotenks). Go read their fics! Especially 'Even Dragons Cry' by DragonKitty, 'Chibi Vegeta' by Burenda, 'Normal Friends From Strange Places' by Maria Cline, and any of Halo's many fics. (sorry Yuri- don't know any of your fics, if you have some… ^^`)