"Something I Can Never Have, Something I Can Never Reach"
A (short) Clover fic by Minoru no Uchiwashoujo AKA Kazuchan-Koibito AKA Suu-Happiness
Suu's lonely, and finds comfort in Kazuhiko's arms...but will she ever find love there?
******
/Something I can never have
Something I can never reach
Something I can never learn
It's impossible to teach
Thinking thinking cannot stop
Thoughts are frantic in my mind
Keep on thinking about things
Things that I can use to bind
Bind you to me.
I can't let you be free.\
******
He lays there, not quite asleep, but not quite awake. I hover uncertainly in the doorway. Will I disturb him? Or will he simply brush me off as a deception of his sleep-hazed mind? I don't have to ponder for very long, before I silently move into the room. He doesn't even stir as I make my way to his bed, still my luck holds even as I settle slowly onto the mattress. He must be deeper in the sleep-haze than I had expected, but this makes it much easier. I quietly move so I am behind him, and curl up with my back to his...he shifts, and I roll away quickly. I want him to catch me...but at the same time I don't. When he relaxes again, I let myself begin to unwind, concentrating on staying calm. I'm so deep into my thoughts I don't hear him shift again, but I quickly snap out of it when he pulls me against him. He doesn't seem angry...on the contrary, far from it. "Bad dreams again?" he murmurs quietly into my ear. I shake my head slowly. "No...I haven't dreamed tonight..." I hesitate to say the rest of what I want - no, need to say, but when he squeezes me gently against him the words tumble from my lips. "I don't want to be alone," I blurt, and turn onto my other side, nestling against him. I feel so very safe in his arms, so warm and comfortable, I don't ever want to move...and I can tell he understands. He's not letting go, he's holding me tight against him. "You...don't want to be alone either, do you?" I whisper. Hesitantly, like he's ashamed to admit it, he slowly nods in agreement. With a small smile, I brush his hair off of his forehead. "I won't tell anyone if you won't," I murmur, and he understands what I mean. Neither of us are supposed to act scared. But when it's dark, it's so much easier to become afraid. That's why I will often end up sleeping against him, safe in his embrace. It's the way I unwind when I'm feeling particularly fearful...or, like tonight, lonely. I'm totally relaxed against him now, my small arms around his waist, my head resting against his chest. His breathing has deepened, smoothed out...he's fallen asleep. I smile and kiss my fingertips, lightly touching them to his forehead, and before I succumb to sleep I quietly speak the words that I long to speak every night.
"I love you, Kazuhiko."
A (short) Clover fic by Minoru no Uchiwashoujo AKA Kazuchan-Koibito AKA Suu-Happiness
Suu's lonely, and finds comfort in Kazuhiko's arms...but will she ever find love there?
******
/Something I can never have
Something I can never reach
Something I can never learn
It's impossible to teach
Thinking thinking cannot stop
Thoughts are frantic in my mind
Keep on thinking about things
Things that I can use to bind
Bind you to me.
I can't let you be free.\
******
He lays there, not quite asleep, but not quite awake. I hover uncertainly in the doorway. Will I disturb him? Or will he simply brush me off as a deception of his sleep-hazed mind? I don't have to ponder for very long, before I silently move into the room. He doesn't even stir as I make my way to his bed, still my luck holds even as I settle slowly onto the mattress. He must be deeper in the sleep-haze than I had expected, but this makes it much easier. I quietly move so I am behind him, and curl up with my back to his...he shifts, and I roll away quickly. I want him to catch me...but at the same time I don't. When he relaxes again, I let myself begin to unwind, concentrating on staying calm. I'm so deep into my thoughts I don't hear him shift again, but I quickly snap out of it when he pulls me against him. He doesn't seem angry...on the contrary, far from it. "Bad dreams again?" he murmurs quietly into my ear. I shake my head slowly. "No...I haven't dreamed tonight..." I hesitate to say the rest of what I want - no, need to say, but when he squeezes me gently against him the words tumble from my lips. "I don't want to be alone," I blurt, and turn onto my other side, nestling against him. I feel so very safe in his arms, so warm and comfortable, I don't ever want to move...and I can tell he understands. He's not letting go, he's holding me tight against him. "You...don't want to be alone either, do you?" I whisper. Hesitantly, like he's ashamed to admit it, he slowly nods in agreement. With a small smile, I brush his hair off of his forehead. "I won't tell anyone if you won't," I murmur, and he understands what I mean. Neither of us are supposed to act scared. But when it's dark, it's so much easier to become afraid. That's why I will often end up sleeping against him, safe in his embrace. It's the way I unwind when I'm feeling particularly fearful...or, like tonight, lonely. I'm totally relaxed against him now, my small arms around his waist, my head resting against his chest. His breathing has deepened, smoothed out...he's fallen asleep. I smile and kiss my fingertips, lightly touching them to his forehead, and before I succumb to sleep I quietly speak the words that I long to speak every night.
"I love you, Kazuhiko."