Disclaimer: I don't own Xander or Angel or any of the people from Buffy, Joss *the king* do.
Rating: Pg.
Spoilers: Spike isn't Dru's childe, his Angel's.

AN: // = thoughts.
Loving hating you

By LittleTeaLeaf



"What are you doing here Xander?" I asked. I was worried knowing that the boy only would have come to LA. if there was an emergency in Sunnydale or if something was up with Buffy.
Xander just stood outside the front door not saying anything. That only made me more nervous, being with Xander and not hearing him argue or blaming me for something.
"Is Buffy okay? Has something happened to her or anybody else?" Xander looked up at me, his eyes seeming unbelievable lifeless. "They where okay a couple of days ago when they tried to kill me." He answered sounding tired.
I nodded and was relieved that the others where okay, but then it hit me what Xander had said. "WHAT!" I shouted making Xander jump back and almost lose his balance. "They tried to kill you? Why?"
"Can't you feel it?" Xander asked sounding surprised. I was about to ask what he meant about the question when something stopped me.
The smell hit me like a brick, blood, Xander was bleeding. He was hurt. Looking at Xander closer now I could see how tired he looked and he was paler then normal. I also noticed that Xander was holding a hand over his stomach. "You're hurt." Without thinking I had taken off Xander's shirt and was now examining the wound on his stomach. The wound was red and it was bleeding. It looked like an arrow or a Slayer with a crossbow had made it.
Xander's skin was so cold.
"You're a vampire aren't you?" I stood up again and took a few steps back. Not because I was afraid of Xander, I knew that I could take him down whenever I wanted to but because of the way Xander was acting. I had been alive, well dead but walking, long enough to know that a newly risen vampire wouldn't act like Xander was acting.
//Is it possible that he still have his soul?// I thought still looking at Xander's wound. It didn't seem to be serious but it looked like it was painful.
"I don't know."
I looked up from the wound. "Sorry, I didn't get that. Did you just say that you don't know that you are a vampire?" Xander seemed to be surprised over something. "You didn't say that out loud did you?" He said the tone in his voice made me believe that he was worried.
"What didn't I say out loud Xander?" I had no idea what he was talking about.
I really wished that this was a dream and that I would wake up soon and Xander would be the same old annoying Xander again. Who called me Deadboy and hated me. But this wasn't a dream and I knew this. And the person in front of me wasn't Xander, at least not the Xander I knew.
"The part about me still having my soul,"
I stood up and walked inside the apartment. "I think we have to talk. Come on in, Xander. I invite you into my home."

* * * * * * *


"So what you are saying is that Drusilla came back to town, to take over the world again and ended up making you a vampire?" We had been sitting in my apartment for a while now. Xander had told me about what had happened and I had bandaged the wound.
"Yes," Xander answered talking another sip of the cup with blood that I had given him. He hadn't even been looking at me when he was telling the story and it seemed that he wasn't going to do it anytime soon.
"So where is Drusilla now?" I knew that Drusilla wasn't capable to take care of herself so she was less capable of taking care of a childe. Xander seemed to be pretty sane and most of Drusilla's toys became broken after a while. Xander didn't answer the question; he just looked down on the floor like it was something on it that was incredible interesting.
"Xander?" I touched him on the shoulder trying to make Xander look at me.
"Don't touch me!"
Xander jump back in the chair he was sitting on and that made the chair tip over. He fell to the floor and just sat there. Drusilla must have done something terrible to him to make him react that way.
"How long where you captured by Drusilla, Xander?" I asked him in a low voice not wanting to scare the boy.
"A few days I guess, I don't know because I wasn't awake the whole time." Xander whispered. He was sitting curled up like a ball and was hugging himself like it was the only thing that was safe.
"Who saved you Xander?" I knew that if Drusilla liked the boy like one of her other toys, she wouldn't let the boy go so easy.
"Spike," Xander answered, it was no more then a whisper.
Spike? Spike, like in the I-hate-the-bloody-Slayer-and-all-her mates-Spike? My youngest childe? I know that he was neutered but I never thought that he would actually help a human from the women he loved. Loves, did Spike still love Drusilla? "Where is Spike now, is he with you?"
"No, he's still in Sunnydale helping the Slayer and the gang." Xander answered. He had not looked up at me yet and that made me feel uncomfortable.
So Spike had sent him here and stayed in Sunnydale himself. I would believe that he would at least try to follow Xander here. But then again I don't think that Buffy would let Spike just leave Sunnydale.
"He told me you had a responsibility towards me," Xander looked up and for the first time after he had gotten into the apartment he looked at me. Not at my face but at my body, his eyes went from my feet to my neck before he looked down at his hands again.
"Spike said that you where to take care of me," he sounded like a child. A very frighten and confused child. But he was right. I was responsible for him as his grand-sire and all it was my duty to take care him, train him and make him the best vampire master ever lived. At least that would be my responsibility if I still were Angelus; I had no idea what I was going to do with him when I had my soul. But then again, it looked like Xander had his soul too.
I was just about to start one of my famous brooding sessions when I got the feeling that the sun would come up. I could see that Xander noticed it too. As much as I wanted to continue talking to Xander, I knew that we both needed some sleep.
"Come on, let's go to bed and continue this tomorrow." Xander stood up, a little shaken but he managed to follow me into the bedroom.

TBC