Author's Ramble: WHEW! SOOO Sorry for the long wait. Want an explanation I guess, right? No? Too bad, I give you one anyway. 1) I had my exams and so things have been hectic 2) I had a bit of writers' block for that week that I had no exams 3) Got lazy a few times. 4) Mixture of 2 and 3: Whenever I'd try to type it up I'd have nothing to put down or just wasn't in the mood. I wanted to make it good and long, since I'm done with the "small talk". So, I think this is fairly long and hopefully adequately humorous for the length of wait. Also, this will be the last one for quite a while. But in the meantime, I'll be thinking of more situations and stuff. Remember, the Real World only shows the juicy stuff that'll bring in ratings. Thanks for all the reviews! Please keep them coming. They motivate me to keep going, to update faster, and to try harder. :) Anyway, Enjoy!
One again [italics]=thoughts, [bold]=confession room talk thingies (for some reason the [bold] parts are not retaining their boldness, so it's underlined instead]
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**Next Morning, 5 am**
An alarm rings, waking everyone in the mansion up for the Danger room session. Everyone, still half asleep, gets out slowly from bed and go to put on their uniforms.
Rogue: [They have got to be kidding, how're we supposed to get these things on? They're so…ugh…tight.]
Scott: [Whew, a guy sure does have to be sure of himself to wear something like this.]
Jean: [Hey, this makes me look even hotter than I really am. I never thought it was possible!]
Kitty: [They have got to be kidding me with this…]
Kurt: [Aaah, now dis brings me back…]
Evan: [There, finally got it on. Oh no, not now! Man! I have to go the bathroom.]
(After 15 minutes, the kids assemble in the Danger Room.)
Xavier: Good morning, my X-men….
Everyone: Huh?
Xavier: X-men. That's how you are going to be referred to from now on.
Rogue: So not only do we have code names, but a group name as well? Ohhhh…K.
Scott: Why "X-men", anyway?
Xavier: Because being a mutant means you have the mutated X-gene.
Kurt: Vy'd you call it the X-gene?
Xavier: Just, you know, because X denotes mystery.
Kitty: And nothing to do with the fact that it's the first letter of your last name…
Xavier: Oh, uh, no…of course not.
(Everyone looks very unconvinced.)
Xavier: Anyway, this is your first Danger Room session. However, much time was wasted this morning in our putting on your uniforms. It took you about 15 minutes to finally get them on. I'm afraid I simply cannot accept that.
Evan: That's because you never tried wearing them.
Xavier: But they have. (Storm and Wolverine come in, without uniforms.) Storm and Wolverine will now demonstrate the proper way to put on your uniforms. (Storm and Wolverine walk to opposite side of the Danger Room towards 2 separate rooms. They enter the rooms and close the door. The doors open again 2 seconds later, and Wolverine and Storm emerge, wearing their uniforms.
Everyone: O.O
Jean: How the…
Scott: That's not…
Rogue: They couldn't have…
Xavier: Now I want each and every one of you to do the same. That will be your lesson for today. As soon as you learn how to, you may go.
Kitty: But that's, like, impossible. No one could have gotten dressed that fast.
Kurt: Except me (Turns on inducer). See! I don't ever have to change!
Evan: Not if you don't want any friends anyway.
Xavier: It's possible and I know you can do it. Begin!
Jean: Umm…pardon me but umm…don't we get any privacy.
Xavier: Oh yes, of course. How silly of me. Boys, turn to the right, girls, face the left.
Rogue: NO WAY! I am not changing out here in the open!
Xavier: When you have to go on an emergency mission, there will not be any changing rooms available for you. You also have to learn to change in and out of your regular clothes. So, here are your civilian clothes.
Kitty: Please tell me this isn't happening.
[Kitty: This definitely wasn't my idea of how to spend a morning. I think I'm going to hate these Danger Room sessions.]
The kids spend about 40 minutes practicing taking off and putting on their uniforms, along with their civvies, in record time. Everyone had a silent agreement not to look at anyone else while changing.
Because of Kurt's image inducer, he does not have to partake in the exercise. As for the others, Kitty finishes first, phasing in and out of her uniform and quickly putting on/taking off her civvies. Jean is next, figuring it out after about 30 minutes by using her telekinesis to expand her uniform, levitating herself and sliding it off. She then telekinetically puts on her clothes as quickly as she can, then repeats the process backwards to do the reverse.
The others just work at "practice makes perfect"; trying each time to beat their previous times. After 1 hour, they all finally make it to about 15 seconds. It wasn't great, but time was running out and it had to do.
They leave the danger room, having only 20 minutes to get ready for their first day of school.
Rogue runs to her room, gets her things together and runs for the bathroom to get herself showered and ready in record time (hey, if she could change into a spandex uniform in 15 seconds, she could do this). The girls' bathroom, however, is occupied and there is loud music emanating from it. Rogue knocks on the door. No one answers. She knocks again.
Rogue: Hello? Anyone in there? Ah need to get ready. Ah only have (looking at her watch)…18 minutes!!
Again, there is no answer. (Rogue knocks harder and harder.)
Rogue: HELLO!!! Whoever's in there you better GET OUT NOW!
Kitty (sticking her head out of the wall): Hey, what's with all the noise?
Rogue: Who's in there? It's Jean isn't it. Ah know it can't be Storm because she has her own bathroom in that big ol' room of hers.
Kitty (phasing out of the room and into the hall): Yeah, it is. That's weird, she's been in there for a while.
Rogue: And now she needs to get out. I'm on tight timing to get ready for school. I only have…15 minutes!!!
Kitty: Jean? Jeaaaaan! You in there? Helloooo? That's weird.
Rogue: Look inside.
Kitty: WHAT?!
Rogue: You heard me…look inside. Phase yourself through the door and look in, see if she's in there and what she's doing if she is.
Kitty: I'm not lookin' in on her! That's so…disgusting! Eww, how can you even think of asking me to do that.
Rogue: Because Ah NEED to go in and get ready! Just do it! (Threatening taking off her gloves) Or Ah'll do it for you!
Kitty: But…but…what if she's…you know?
Rogue: Ah highly doubt she's been in there that long doing…whatever. Besides, if she is, then maybe she needs it to be scared out of her!
Kitty: But…but…
(Rogue glares at Kitty, Kitty sees she means business.)
[Rogue: Ah needed to get ready for school and Jean was not coming out anytime soon. Desperate times call for desperate measures. ]
Kitty: Ok, ok. Here goes. Kitty shuts her eyes tightly and slowly phases her head through the door. She comes out second later.
Rogue: Well! What?!
Kitty: She's umm…
Rogue: She's what?! Tell me!
Sailor Rogue: Ok folks, what is Jean doing? Is she a) Brushing her hair many times a la Marsha Brady b) taking a nice soothing bubble bath or 3) Dancing around in her uniform while admiring herself in the mirror (or something else???)
Anti-Jean folks: Brushing her hair and stuff!! That would SOO be something she would do! She's sooooo Marsha Brady!
Male Jean fans: Bubble bath! Taking a bubble bath! Woo hoo!
Indifferent people: Eh, let her be dancing in front of the mirror. That's funnier!
Kitty: She's doing some sort of dance moves to {insert song here}^^(^^=see footnote).
Rogue: What do you mean dancing?
Kitty: I mean she's dancing. She's brushing her hair and grooming herself while dancing, admiring herself in the mirror.Rogue: You're kidding me! I've gotta see this. Show me!
(Kitty grabs Rogue's hand and they both phase their heads through the door.)
Rogue: I don't believe this! Ok, you gotta phase me in.
Kitty: No way! She'll kill me if I do that!
Rogue: Ah'll kill you if you don't! My powers are a lot more deadlier than hers. Trust me, you do NOT want me as an enemy.
Kitty: {sigh} Why am I always the one stuck in these situations? All right hold on.
Rogue: All right, but be ready to phase back with a certain redhead.
(Kitty phases Rogue and herself into the bathroom. Rogue shuts off the radio, startling Jean and making her aware of their presence.)
Jean: {gasp} What are you doing in here! Can't you see I'm in here.
Rogue: Yeah, for over an hour. Your times up Red! Ah have 10 minutes to get ready.
Jean: No, you have to wait your turn.
Rogue: Mah turn is NOW! (Kitty senses great hostility and tension and quietly phases out, avoiding what may come.)
Jean: How dare you invade my privacy? You're really asking for it this time.
[I'm generally a very nice and sweet person. I get along great with everyone, well, almost everyone. But she invaded my privacy! That means a no more Miss nice Jean.]
Rogue: You want a piece of me? Come and get it, baby.
Jean: Trust me, you don't know what you're asking.
Rogue: Oh please. Give me your best shot, princess. Ah ain't afraid of you! Bring it on, Red, bring it on!
Jean: No. I refuse to stoop down to a low level.
Rogue: Please! In mah eyes, you're as low as they get.
Jean: All right, that's it!
(Jean telekinetically grabs Rogue's clothes and threw them in the tub, then turned on the shower, soaking them.)
Rogue: Mah clothes! That's it! You asked for it! (Rogue grabs a bottle of lotion from the bathroom sink top and quickly whips it towards Jean before she could divert it with her TK.) (looking at the bottle) Ultra soothing Raspberry and Papaya Dreams body lotion…{rolls eyes} Wow, big surprise there.
Jean: LOOK WHAT YOU DID! Do you KNOW how hard it is to get lotion out of clothes. Especially when it's scented!
Rogue: Well, at least you'll smell like a tropical fruit basket.
Jean: All right, you put this on yourself! (Jean uses her powers to take Rogue's wet clothes from the bathtub and then wring them out over Rogue's head, soaking Rogue. She then takes baby powder from the cabinet.)
Rogue: No! Not the baby powder! NOOOOOO!
(Jean opened the bottle and uses her TK to dump it over Rogue's wet body. The powder plus the water forms into a paste on Rogue's body.)
Rogue: Oh you'll be sorry. You will be SO sorry for that one!
Jean: Oh, I am so scared.
(Rogue grabs the toothpaste and begins to uncap it)
Jean: You wouldn't DARE!
Rogue: Watch me! (Rogue presses as hard as she could and squirts out a copious amount of toothpaste. Jean is ready this time and quickly uses her TK to divert it back to Rogue. Rogue is also quick and ducks before it could hit her.
Storm (phasing through the door): What is going ON in here! (Storm gets hit in the face with toothpaste) UH!! (She wipes the toothpaste on, but the mintiness burns her face) Aah! …
Jean and Rogue (simultaneously, pointing at each other): She did it!
(Storm moves towards the sink and washes her face).
Storm: Ow! It burns! It burns! Uh! I'm never going to get this smell out! You two are in very big trouble. Just wait 'till you get back from school! You know you have to leave in 5 minutes?
Jean and Rogue (simultaneously): 5 minutes?! You see what you've done! This is all YOUR fault!
Rogue: It is NOT mah fault! You started it by being a bathroom hog!
Jean: UH!! I was here first so I could take all the time I want. It gives you no right to invade my privacy!
Rogue: It gives me every right. And you wet my clothes!
Jean: You got lotion all over me!
Rogue: You…
Storm: ENOUGH! Both of you are going to get your just desserts. But you have to get to school, so you both better get yourselves cleaned up. Rogue, now's your chance to learn how to take a 2 minute shower. Jean, go change your clothes. And if I never get this smell off my face, you can both kiss your butts good-bye.
Rogue: But what about mah clothes? They were supposed to last me all semester!
Jean: Me too!
Storm: Looks like you'll have to change them.
(Rogue and Jean glare at each other with hatred in their eyes.)
Storm: Move it you too. Rogue, go get a change of clothes and hit the showers. You have one minute left, but I'll let you have 5. I'll go write you two a note to excuse you for your tardiness.
Rogue goes to her room and grabs a new set of clothes, which happened to be exactly the same as the previous set. Jean goes to her closet and grabs another shirt and pants, identical to the ones she's wearing. Rogue takes the fastest shower in her life (and perhaps in history), gets dresses and hurries downstairs, where Jean and Storm are waiting. Jean and Rogue turn their heads away from each other, anger burning in their eyes, continuing for the entire silent, tense filled ride to school.
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(footnote) ^^ I couldn't think of a good song for Jean, so I thought I'd let you guys think of one! Post it in the review! :) I could only think of "Barbie Girl". LOL!