KtOF: ~stands on a stage and waves enthusiastically to crowd assembled.
Stuffed animals: silence
KtOF: ~looks around~ Is anyone here? ~sniffles pathetically~ WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ~stops abruptly~ Oh, whatever. Not like that's stopped me before! Stuffies are a good audience any ways. Now, I'd like to take this time to do the *DISCLAIMER* which is I obviously don't own Phantom of the Opera! I also don't own Timbits (which always end up showing up, whether I want them to or not) or most of the characters you've heard of from things like Gundam Wing that might pop up here and there.
Cast:
Phantom (Erik): Airic, Alexandre, and Reien Reinolds de Wulfe-Gordonne ei Lausonne un Izumi
Christine: Keladry Reinolds de Wulf-Gordonne ei Lausonne un Izumi
Raoul: Riyfiirde Reinolds de Wulf-Gordonne ei Lausonne un Izumi
Everyone else shall be introduced as needed.
KtOF: Now, everyone, get into costume!
Keladry: ~is reading Phantom of the Opera~ Eh, come back later.
KtOF: NO! You'll do this now! You get the main role!
Keladry: ~glances up~ I'm the Phantom? I thought he was a guy.
KtOF: ~bangs her head on the wall~ Please, just work with me for once.
Airic: How can-
Alexandre: -all three of us-
Reien: -play one part?
KtOF: ~bright smile~ Easy! You're so short, I figured you'd have to stand on each other's shoulders to be tall enough!
Airic: We're not ^that^ short!
KtOF: Eh, whatever. This is my story, not yours.
Alexandre: If we're the Phantom, it's more ours than yours.
KtOF: You're only the Phantom's stomach.
Alexandre: I'm in the middle?
KtOF: Better than on the bottom! ^-^ That's where Reien goes!
Reien: Dammid!
Keladry: So I'm Christine? The wimp?
KtOF: You get to sing!
Keladry: ~icy glare~
KtOF: DONUTS FROM TIM HORTONS IF YOU'LL DO IT!
Alexandre: Timbits?
KtOF: Okay! I have some left over from when Dani and I went any ways!
Reien: WE'RE IN!
Keladry: ^-^" You gave my four brothers the other main male parts. Does that mean I have to fall in love with Riy?
KtOF: Act, girl, act!
Riyfiirde: Why me, why me?
KtOF: Because I love you... and because you were the only one that didn't bail out when I said the name "Raoul".
Riyfiirde: I was asleep!
KtOF: ^-^ Too late! Places!
Riyfiirde: But...
KtOF: ~pulls out megaphone~ PLACES!
Scene One:
Kathlene: ~coughs loudly~ The opera ghost really existed. As a matter of fact, he still does exist, seeing as he's my three younger brothers who are currently stuffing themselves full of timbits at the snack bar!
Keladry: I think that says a wee bit too much, Kathlene. Just stick to the plot, okay?
Kathlene: ~nods~ Hmmm... oh, yeah. Now, there's proven facts, and this dude, Gaston Leroux, went to all this trouble to prove it, God knows why. So he found all these letters and stuff, and piled all this evidence together, and proved it. Then he wrote a book. So I guess I should let them start acting now, eh?
KtOF: ~is banging her head on the wall~
Kat: ~checks writing on her hand~ *mutters*: run around screaming like an idiot. Eh... okay... ~runs in circles twice~ Ah... Ah... I'm an idiot.
Keladry: ~giggles~
Kat: ~checks hand again~ I have seen the... phantom... and it was... terrible. No it wasn't, he looked lame and-
Ricky: Plot, Kat, plot!
Kat: Right... It scared me out of my wits, and he's following me. Ah. Ah.
Ilizabeth: It's all right. No one is there. We will be fine. ~sighs~
Kat: Good. I need coffee... I feel like a twit. ~heads off to snack table~
KtOF: GOD PEOPLE CONCENTRATE! ~waits~ Fine, we'll move on... ~mutters to herself about idiodicity of muses~
Scene Two:
Airic: Lets skip to where we get the cool part!
KtOF: You just want a chance to kidnap Keladry so you can torture her.
Alexandre: ^-^ So?
KtOF: But I wanted to do this right!
Keladry: What do you mean I have to get kidnaped? I don't ^do^ kidnaping.
KtOF: ~shrugs~ Well, then... If I can't do this right, we'll do it my way. ~glares around~ We will now do the scene where Christine sings really well, and then faints. Okay?
Riy: ~sighs~ I have to play the guy who loves Dree?
Riyan: He loves Keladry? Why didn't you tell me so! ~pushes Riy out of the way~ I'm going to play this part!
KtOF: ^-^" Fine, just act, okay?
Riyan: So when do I get to kiss her senseless?
KtOF: AHHHHH! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR SUCH ROMANTIC MUSES! ~runs and locks herself in the bathroom~
Keladry: ^-^" Lets begin. Riy, you'll be the new Count. Riyan, you can't kiss me, I'm unattainable until about halfway through the book... Both of you up to the balcony now. Leie, you can sing. You'll play Carlotta.
Leie: Okay then. ~does some warm up scales~
Keladry: You're sick, right?
Leie: ~mock swoons~ Catch me, Raiey!
Rai: ^-^" I'm not supposed to be here. ~starts mopping up the sweat drops~
Keladry: Oh, we needed a stage hand to be hanged any ways!
Rai: ~runs away as fast as he can~
Keladry: ~sighs~ Okay, now... ~starts to sing~ ~stops~ I don't know the words. ^-^"
Riyan: You have such a beautiful voice, it doesn't matter, love!
Keladry: ~blushes~
KtOF: (from closet) No flirting with the lead!
Riyan: ~sighs and sits back~
KtOF: Just sing something high, Keli... We need to show off the upper register!
Keladry: Okay! ~starts singing Muppet Show theme~
Riyan: ~sighs dreamily and leans on ledge~
~ledge breaks and Riyan falls down three floors~
Keladry: OH MY GOD! RIYAN! ~races forward~
Jevahn: Ouch...
Kat: Who are you?
Jevahn: I just came to watch the senseless violence.
Kat: Okay! ~gets out some popcorn and watches Keladry panic~
KtOF: ~is still locked in the closet~
Riyan: I... ow...
KtOF: Someone should do First Aid!
Kent: You're sitting on the first aid kit.
KtOF: Oops... ~gets up and grabs gigantic first aid case~ Why can't we stay on topic? I happen to like this story!
Keladry: It's not my fault if the props are faulty.
~all turn to Daivid~
Daivid: Huh? So what if I built that prop. It's not like I wanted to play Raoul and kiss Keladry senseless!
Keladry: I feel so popular! ~giggles~
KtOF: ~uses POWER OF THE AUTHOR and BIG ROLL OF DUCT TAPE to fix Riyan up~
Riyan: ~flies at Daivid and starts punching him~
KtOF: EVERYONE! SHUT UP AND BACK TO WORK! NOW!
Kat: ~stuffs her popcorn into a hole~ Party pooper. It was just getting violent!
Jevahn: Yeah, violent.
KtOF: I WANT YOU TO DO THIS RIGHT! NOW! Or I'll borrow Christine and Raoul and Erik from Kerri!
Airic: You'd replace us for... the real things?
KtOF: ~Nods brutally~
Alexandre: ~breaks up fight quickly~
KtOF: Now... back to the song. I need this... ^beautiful^!
Keladry: Okay! ~starts singing Angel of the Opera~
KtOF: ~nods and smiles~ Vuryvury nice.
Alexandre: (wisely to Jevahn) She's my sister, you know.
KtOF: Okay, faint in five, four, three, two......................
Keladry: ~rolls eyes up and collapses backwards~
Riyan: AH! NO! KELI!
Riy: She's acting, Riyan... cool it man.
Riyan: ^-^" I knew that... now... ~glances at lines conveniently scratched into wood of box~ Lets go find her! ~rushes off top speed using his boyfriend-radar to find Keladry~
Keladry: ~is still "fainted"~
Riyan: Line... line...
Reien: ~tosses Riyan a timbit with the lines sketched into it~
Keladry: ~"wakes"~ Who are you?
Riyan: I am... the little boy who rescued your scarf from the ocean.
Keladry: Are you saying I'm too weak to get it myself?
Riyan: It's the line!
Keladry: Oh, so you think that just because it's written down, you're better than me?
Riyan: It's not that, Keli! Honest!
Keladry: Oh, I get it now. You rescued Catherine's scarf from the ocean! You don't love me!
Riyan: No! I never...
KtOF: JUST SHUT UP! Keladry, lets say you had the flu that day, and you weren't allowed to go in the water, so he rescued your scarf for you, okay?
Keladry: Fine. But I'm not speaking to him.
KtOF: ~bangs her head against the wall~ Please... *bang* God... *bang* Spare me... *bang*
Riyan: I'm really sorry, I just...
Keladry: Nt. ~puts fingers in ears~ I can't ^hear^ you... You no longer exist.
Riyan: Keli...
Daivid: Does this mean I play Raoul now?
Riyan: *glare*
KtOF: ~falls over unconcious~
Oliver: ^-^" ~picks KtOF up and carries her away~ I think this scene is done.
Keladry: Fine.
Riyan: I'm sorry! Really, I am, I love you-
Keladry: ~stuffs peach pasteries in her ears and hums loudly~
Alexandre: ^-^" ~starts eating a timbit~ Perhaps we should move on?
Ricky: Only Kathleen actually knows what happens next.
Alexandre: Okay...
~silence~
Alexandre: You're sure you have no idea?
Ricky: Yes, Alexandre.
~silence~
Alexandre: Really?
Ricky: Yeah.
Alexandre: Really really?
Ricky: Yeah yeah.
~silence~
Alexandre: ~opens his mouth to speak~
Ricky: ~jams timbit in Alexandre's mouth~
tbc
Stuffed animals: silence
KtOF: ~looks around~ Is anyone here? ~sniffles pathetically~ WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ~stops abruptly~ Oh, whatever. Not like that's stopped me before! Stuffies are a good audience any ways. Now, I'd like to take this time to do the *DISCLAIMER* which is I obviously don't own Phantom of the Opera! I also don't own Timbits (which always end up showing up, whether I want them to or not) or most of the characters you've heard of from things like Gundam Wing that might pop up here and there.
Cast:
Phantom (Erik): Airic, Alexandre, and Reien Reinolds de Wulfe-Gordonne ei Lausonne un Izumi
Christine: Keladry Reinolds de Wulf-Gordonne ei Lausonne un Izumi
Raoul: Riyfiirde Reinolds de Wulf-Gordonne ei Lausonne un Izumi
Everyone else shall be introduced as needed.
KtOF: Now, everyone, get into costume!
Keladry: ~is reading Phantom of the Opera~ Eh, come back later.
KtOF: NO! You'll do this now! You get the main role!
Keladry: ~glances up~ I'm the Phantom? I thought he was a guy.
KtOF: ~bangs her head on the wall~ Please, just work with me for once.
Airic: How can-
Alexandre: -all three of us-
Reien: -play one part?
KtOF: ~bright smile~ Easy! You're so short, I figured you'd have to stand on each other's shoulders to be tall enough!
Airic: We're not ^that^ short!
KtOF: Eh, whatever. This is my story, not yours.
Alexandre: If we're the Phantom, it's more ours than yours.
KtOF: You're only the Phantom's stomach.
Alexandre: I'm in the middle?
KtOF: Better than on the bottom! ^-^ That's where Reien goes!
Reien: Dammid!
Keladry: So I'm Christine? The wimp?
KtOF: You get to sing!
Keladry: ~icy glare~
KtOF: DONUTS FROM TIM HORTONS IF YOU'LL DO IT!
Alexandre: Timbits?
KtOF: Okay! I have some left over from when Dani and I went any ways!
Reien: WE'RE IN!
Keladry: ^-^" You gave my four brothers the other main male parts. Does that mean I have to fall in love with Riy?
KtOF: Act, girl, act!
Riyfiirde: Why me, why me?
KtOF: Because I love you... and because you were the only one that didn't bail out when I said the name "Raoul".
Riyfiirde: I was asleep!
KtOF: ^-^ Too late! Places!
Riyfiirde: But...
KtOF: ~pulls out megaphone~ PLACES!
Scene One:
Kathlene: ~coughs loudly~ The opera ghost really existed. As a matter of fact, he still does exist, seeing as he's my three younger brothers who are currently stuffing themselves full of timbits at the snack bar!
Keladry: I think that says a wee bit too much, Kathlene. Just stick to the plot, okay?
Kathlene: ~nods~ Hmmm... oh, yeah. Now, there's proven facts, and this dude, Gaston Leroux, went to all this trouble to prove it, God knows why. So he found all these letters and stuff, and piled all this evidence together, and proved it. Then he wrote a book. So I guess I should let them start acting now, eh?
KtOF: ~is banging her head on the wall~
Kat: ~checks writing on her hand~ *mutters*: run around screaming like an idiot. Eh... okay... ~runs in circles twice~ Ah... Ah... I'm an idiot.
Keladry: ~giggles~
Kat: ~checks hand again~ I have seen the... phantom... and it was... terrible. No it wasn't, he looked lame and-
Ricky: Plot, Kat, plot!
Kat: Right... It scared me out of my wits, and he's following me. Ah. Ah.
Ilizabeth: It's all right. No one is there. We will be fine. ~sighs~
Kat: Good. I need coffee... I feel like a twit. ~heads off to snack table~
KtOF: GOD PEOPLE CONCENTRATE! ~waits~ Fine, we'll move on... ~mutters to herself about idiodicity of muses~
Scene Two:
Airic: Lets skip to where we get the cool part!
KtOF: You just want a chance to kidnap Keladry so you can torture her.
Alexandre: ^-^ So?
KtOF: But I wanted to do this right!
Keladry: What do you mean I have to get kidnaped? I don't ^do^ kidnaping.
KtOF: ~shrugs~ Well, then... If I can't do this right, we'll do it my way. ~glares around~ We will now do the scene where Christine sings really well, and then faints. Okay?
Riy: ~sighs~ I have to play the guy who loves Dree?
Riyan: He loves Keladry? Why didn't you tell me so! ~pushes Riy out of the way~ I'm going to play this part!
KtOF: ^-^" Fine, just act, okay?
Riyan: So when do I get to kiss her senseless?
KtOF: AHHHHH! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR SUCH ROMANTIC MUSES! ~runs and locks herself in the bathroom~
Keladry: ^-^" Lets begin. Riy, you'll be the new Count. Riyan, you can't kiss me, I'm unattainable until about halfway through the book... Both of you up to the balcony now. Leie, you can sing. You'll play Carlotta.
Leie: Okay then. ~does some warm up scales~
Keladry: You're sick, right?
Leie: ~mock swoons~ Catch me, Raiey!
Rai: ^-^" I'm not supposed to be here. ~starts mopping up the sweat drops~
Keladry: Oh, we needed a stage hand to be hanged any ways!
Rai: ~runs away as fast as he can~
Keladry: ~sighs~ Okay, now... ~starts to sing~ ~stops~ I don't know the words. ^-^"
Riyan: You have such a beautiful voice, it doesn't matter, love!
Keladry: ~blushes~
KtOF: (from closet) No flirting with the lead!
Riyan: ~sighs and sits back~
KtOF: Just sing something high, Keli... We need to show off the upper register!
Keladry: Okay! ~starts singing Muppet Show theme~
Riyan: ~sighs dreamily and leans on ledge~
~ledge breaks and Riyan falls down three floors~
Keladry: OH MY GOD! RIYAN! ~races forward~
Jevahn: Ouch...
Kat: Who are you?
Jevahn: I just came to watch the senseless violence.
Kat: Okay! ~gets out some popcorn and watches Keladry panic~
KtOF: ~is still locked in the closet~
Riyan: I... ow...
KtOF: Someone should do First Aid!
Kent: You're sitting on the first aid kit.
KtOF: Oops... ~gets up and grabs gigantic first aid case~ Why can't we stay on topic? I happen to like this story!
Keladry: It's not my fault if the props are faulty.
~all turn to Daivid~
Daivid: Huh? So what if I built that prop. It's not like I wanted to play Raoul and kiss Keladry senseless!
Keladry: I feel so popular! ~giggles~
KtOF: ~uses POWER OF THE AUTHOR and BIG ROLL OF DUCT TAPE to fix Riyan up~
Riyan: ~flies at Daivid and starts punching him~
KtOF: EVERYONE! SHUT UP AND BACK TO WORK! NOW!
Kat: ~stuffs her popcorn into a hole~ Party pooper. It was just getting violent!
Jevahn: Yeah, violent.
KtOF: I WANT YOU TO DO THIS RIGHT! NOW! Or I'll borrow Christine and Raoul and Erik from Kerri!
Airic: You'd replace us for... the real things?
KtOF: ~Nods brutally~
Alexandre: ~breaks up fight quickly~
KtOF: Now... back to the song. I need this... ^beautiful^!
Keladry: Okay! ~starts singing Angel of the Opera~
KtOF: ~nods and smiles~ Vuryvury nice.
Alexandre: (wisely to Jevahn) She's my sister, you know.
KtOF: Okay, faint in five, four, three, two......................
Keladry: ~rolls eyes up and collapses backwards~
Riyan: AH! NO! KELI!
Riy: She's acting, Riyan... cool it man.
Riyan: ^-^" I knew that... now... ~glances at lines conveniently scratched into wood of box~ Lets go find her! ~rushes off top speed using his boyfriend-radar to find Keladry~
Keladry: ~is still "fainted"~
Riyan: Line... line...
Reien: ~tosses Riyan a timbit with the lines sketched into it~
Keladry: ~"wakes"~ Who are you?
Riyan: I am... the little boy who rescued your scarf from the ocean.
Keladry: Are you saying I'm too weak to get it myself?
Riyan: It's the line!
Keladry: Oh, so you think that just because it's written down, you're better than me?
Riyan: It's not that, Keli! Honest!
Keladry: Oh, I get it now. You rescued Catherine's scarf from the ocean! You don't love me!
Riyan: No! I never...
KtOF: JUST SHUT UP! Keladry, lets say you had the flu that day, and you weren't allowed to go in the water, so he rescued your scarf for you, okay?
Keladry: Fine. But I'm not speaking to him.
KtOF: ~bangs her head against the wall~ Please... *bang* God... *bang* Spare me... *bang*
Riyan: I'm really sorry, I just...
Keladry: Nt. ~puts fingers in ears~ I can't ^hear^ you... You no longer exist.
Riyan: Keli...
Daivid: Does this mean I play Raoul now?
Riyan: *glare*
KtOF: ~falls over unconcious~
Oliver: ^-^" ~picks KtOF up and carries her away~ I think this scene is done.
Keladry: Fine.
Riyan: I'm sorry! Really, I am, I love you-
Keladry: ~stuffs peach pasteries in her ears and hums loudly~
Alexandre: ^-^" ~starts eating a timbit~ Perhaps we should move on?
Ricky: Only Kathleen actually knows what happens next.
Alexandre: Okay...
~silence~
Alexandre: You're sure you have no idea?
Ricky: Yes, Alexandre.
~silence~
Alexandre: Really?
Ricky: Yeah.
Alexandre: Really really?
Ricky: Yeah yeah.
~silence~
Alexandre: ~opens his mouth to speak~
Ricky: ~jams timbit in Alexandre's mouth~
tbc