Chapter 6 - Learning experience.
Alice sat in the school chair in the classroom of the underwater Skool (she couldn't help feeling she was being watched) next to the mock turtle in the most uncomfortable wooden chairs. Alice had remembered her school days before she entered the asylum and the chairs were as comfortable as the ones she was currently sitting on, but compiled with the addition of lots of boys and girls making a racket enjoying themselves it didn't seem so bad. There weren't any other children though.
She turned to the Mock turtle and he seemed to be smiling. A very rare event for him!
"What are you smiling about, these chairs are most uncomfortable!"
"Yes I know but It's been so long since I was here, I missed the place and I'm glad to be back!" he replied merrily.
"It's very quiet," she noticed "I enjoy the racket we caused."
Suddenly, the door opened and Tortoise walked in wearing his headmasters cloak and mortar board.
"You cant have a racket in here!" he ordered. "There's no tennis balls to be hit! Now lets get on with the lesson!"
Alice tried to make herself as comfortable as possible (to no avail) and listened intently to the Tortoise. It had been so long since she had been taught anything and she was actually looking forward to it as she hadn't had any teachings in the Asylum. Mockers was just smiling as the Teacher began.
"Right, now then my little amphibians we have a new guest in the class and her name is Alice, stand up Alice please and let the class look at you."
"But there's only Mock Turtle here?" she replied, confused.
"Stand up Alice!" ordered Tortoise as if he was going to cane her next.
Feeling slightly stupid, Alice stood up and turned around on the spot. Turtle gasped and clapped with enthusiasm. Unexpectedly, all the books on the shelves began to flap open and closed as if starting a round of applause and some even whistled but the teacher silenced them by slamming his cane onto his desk at the front of the class, in front of the blackboard.
"SILENCE, ALL OF YOU!" he yelled. "I don't care how bad you can cut people, Be presentable!"
And the books snapped shut, abruptly.
"Spineless lot." joked Alice.
"They wouldn't be very good books if they didn't have a spine my dear!" Tortoise insisted. He regained his state of mind and began to speak.
"Now. You siting comfortably?"
"Not really!" Alice answered
"Good, that means you'll pay attention! Now we will begin." And tapped the cane on his desk.
The chalk from the blackboard began to hover in mid-air for a moment and then proceeded to write,
"The Bandersnatch" in large white letters on the dusty surface on the board.
"The Bandersnatch students used to live on the mainland amongst the tulgey wood where they managed to form a somewhat volatile relationship with the various and elusive species of the Jabberwocks in the forest."
The Mention of the Jabberwock sent a shiver down Alice's spine. Lots of people had said nasty things to her, but he blamed the fire and the death of her parents on her. He was not a nice animal by any standards
"Now as living amongst the forests was quite difficult, they managed to acquire limited knowledge of clockworks and rudimentary machinery. Now, if the bandersnatch exist today we could only assume that they have improved their knowledge. Is everybody following so far?"
Both Alice and the Mock Turtle nodded. Alice for a moment that the Turtles giant head was going to fall off, he was nodding it so hard.
"Now can anyone describe a bandersnatch for me?" he asked to the class.
Both his students shook their heads in honest denial.
"Chalk!" he yelled, and the chalk began to move once more.
It drew a picture on the board of what Alice presumed to be a member of the Bandersnatch species and settled back in mid air. Surprisingly, it looked like a normal human being, albeit smaller and more bulkier. Alice wondered if they were any particular colour?
Tortoise cleared his throat and began again.
"Now as you can see from this diagram, the Bandersnatch are rather like the human breed of Alice. One would probably guess there "Homo Banderous" in the correct terminology."
"Their skin colour is a Caucasian with a mild hint of green among certain places such as the skin and feet."
("So they are green" Alice thought) Tortoise directed to the diagrams frame.
Also, you can see a highly developed musculature body for several reasons. Can anyone give me a reason?" He turned to the class.
Mock Turtle raised his hand as reaching for heaven.
"Yes Turtle?"
"To avoid being caught! To avoid being caught!" he stammered.
Alice was surprised , he had never been this enthusiastic about anything before.
"Correct Turtle. How about you Alice?" and turned his eyes to her which put her on the spot.
Alice thought back to what Bill had said.
"Well one of my friends said they are always building things with their hammers. Maybe it makes them stronger?"
"Not exactly accurate, but more or less correct."
Alice sighed in relief.
"Our bandersnatch example is a constructor person rather like a colony of ants. Unfortunately, no one has ever caught one in the wild and only contacts have been made via their trade embargoes. Bu those themselves do not last very long as they return home when all is done."
A bell sounded in the hallway which startled Alice.
"Who could be doing that?" she thought to herself.
"Break time," the turtle said "Be back in here in ten minutes to finish the lesson. The final topic will be on Bandersnatch thinking" and walked out of the classroom once again.
Alice and Turtle got out of their chairs to stretch their legs and let their backs recover from the discomfort.
"I wonder why they don't live on the land any more?" asked Alice to Turtle.
Turtles enthusiasm had disappeared and he shrugged his shoulders. It was obvious to Alice now that when Mockers had been here with Gryphon, he always had to compete for attention and gratification. Now Alice was the centre of attention and he was doing the best he could without being resentful, similar to the way a young boy would try to impress someone for the position of prefect.
Alice went over to the bookshelf to look at the now silent book audience and searched their titles for anything to do with the Bandersnatch, but to no avail. It dawned upon her to simply ask.
"Em. Excuse me." She began
"Why what have you done?" replied one of the books
"Nothing, I'm just going to ask you if you know anything about the Bandersnatch?"
"Oh, you mean the thing the old crab was going on about!" said another book
"He's not a crab, he's a turtle." corrected another book.
This had begun to turn into a schoolboy argument. Immature and about nothing in particular.
"Well, whatever he is, do any of you know anything?" insisted Alice.
One book spoke out over the top of the rest.
"I know that they love hammers and mallets and hitting things with them!"
"What things?" asked Alice curiously.
"Anything that gets in their way or anything they feel like! So you'd better watch out if you plan on meeting any of them." Said the book.
Just then all the books on the shelf snapped shut as the Turtle walked back into the room and Alice (reluctantly) returned to her seat alongside Turtle.
"Well, now breaks over, back to the lesson!" the Turtle said grandly and returned to his chair in front of the blackboard.
The chalk rose once again and wrote "Bandersnatch Thinking" in curved handwriting on the board.
"Now!" began the Turtle, snatching all the attention. "The way a Bandersnatch thinks is quite similar o the previous reference to the ants as they are very organised and have strength in numbers."
"You mean, the more there is, the better they are?" asked Alice.
"In a sense yes Alice, very good!"
Alice shot an apologetic look towards the Turtle who looked back, slightly deflated.
"If the fellows are building something they will put all or most of their resources to finishing the problem before they move onto another one, thereby completing the task a lot quicker than it would take a small group of them. Also, they have a fascination with Hammers and Mallets. Probably due to the fact they are always building something or assembling some form of contraption as I said they understand some basic machinery."
The Mock Turtle spoke out suddenly.
"What kind of things do they build, sir?" he asked, and smiled to himself in pride.
"It's rude to interrupt me Turtle, don't be impertinent!" snapped the Teacher and the Turtles smile vanished.
"But you did ask a valid question, I'll give you that."
His smile re-appeared.
"As far I have known and seen, I know they have built large boats to travel across the seas with and according to several older editions of the history books, they have built great weapons of brilliant ingenuity and complexity.
"Like what, Sir?" asked Mockers
The teacher stood open mouthed, he couldn't believe he didn't know the answer and neither did the Mock turtle.
"I Don't know!" said the Turtle in utter shock. "I honestly don't know! But I imagine I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of them. They have been known to be quite ruthless sometimes."
"Oh?" murmured Alice. "What do you mean?"
"Well, according to the texts. If they ever intended revenge on someone, they could be quite brutal."
"I still don't understand, sir?" said Alice.
"I think they remonstrated with a Spade guard once. Poor chap wasn't too well after it I heard and they got away with it!"
This was serious! If a person or group could attack one of the queens soldiers. And a Spade! One of the toughest and get away with it, they certainly were to be reckoned with.
The second bell rang out through the skool halls and the Turtle began to move away again.
"Hold on!" shouted Alice. "That lesson was shorter than the first!"
"Well we don't know much to start off with child and we cant tell you what we don't know can we!" replied the Turtle and stormed out of the classroom.
However, Alice felt the experience was not a totally futile one as she had learned something. She had learned that the bandersnatch are very organised and they are always building something. But still the island was a long way away and she couldn't swim there for fear of drowning.
She Turned to Mock Turtle who was about to leave the classroom to return home.
"One moment please!" she stopped him with.
He turned around slowly to see her standing firm with her hands on her hips.
"Now what am I supposed to do?" she asked. "I can't go back because there's nothing to go back to!"
"Are you sure about that Alice?" queried the Turtle. "There's always something happening in Wonderland! Maybe you could find out how the Bandersnatch get their banderscotch here?"
For once he had a brilliant idea!
"All right then, I'll head back with you. But take your time, I nearly lost in the murky waters."
"I'll do my best!" promised the Turtle and the two friends bade the Turtle farewell.
"Remember to come back one day Mockers old lad!" shouted the Turtle from the hall as they left the school.
Alice was just about to walk out of the bubble into the sea when something caught her eye up above them. It was a large metal something with the dim light gleaming off it. It was hard to distinguish but it was definitely moving and headed towards the mainland under it's own power.
"It doesn't sound like a fish and the teacher the bandersnatch used ships from time to time!" Alice thought to herself. I think I'll climb aboard!"
So Alice merged through the air bubble (activating her reptile shell) and began to swim upwards towards the dark shape, completely away from the Mock turtle who was returning to the shore, he'd be surprised when he got there and there was no Alice!
Alice sat in the school chair in the classroom of the underwater Skool (she couldn't help feeling she was being watched) next to the mock turtle in the most uncomfortable wooden chairs. Alice had remembered her school days before she entered the asylum and the chairs were as comfortable as the ones she was currently sitting on, but compiled with the addition of lots of boys and girls making a racket enjoying themselves it didn't seem so bad. There weren't any other children though.
She turned to the Mock turtle and he seemed to be smiling. A very rare event for him!
"What are you smiling about, these chairs are most uncomfortable!"
"Yes I know but It's been so long since I was here, I missed the place and I'm glad to be back!" he replied merrily.
"It's very quiet," she noticed "I enjoy the racket we caused."
Suddenly, the door opened and Tortoise walked in wearing his headmasters cloak and mortar board.
"You cant have a racket in here!" he ordered. "There's no tennis balls to be hit! Now lets get on with the lesson!"
Alice tried to make herself as comfortable as possible (to no avail) and listened intently to the Tortoise. It had been so long since she had been taught anything and she was actually looking forward to it as she hadn't had any teachings in the Asylum. Mockers was just smiling as the Teacher began.
"Right, now then my little amphibians we have a new guest in the class and her name is Alice, stand up Alice please and let the class look at you."
"But there's only Mock Turtle here?" she replied, confused.
"Stand up Alice!" ordered Tortoise as if he was going to cane her next.
Feeling slightly stupid, Alice stood up and turned around on the spot. Turtle gasped and clapped with enthusiasm. Unexpectedly, all the books on the shelves began to flap open and closed as if starting a round of applause and some even whistled but the teacher silenced them by slamming his cane onto his desk at the front of the class, in front of the blackboard.
"SILENCE, ALL OF YOU!" he yelled. "I don't care how bad you can cut people, Be presentable!"
And the books snapped shut, abruptly.
"Spineless lot." joked Alice.
"They wouldn't be very good books if they didn't have a spine my dear!" Tortoise insisted. He regained his state of mind and began to speak.
"Now. You siting comfortably?"
"Not really!" Alice answered
"Good, that means you'll pay attention! Now we will begin." And tapped the cane on his desk.
The chalk from the blackboard began to hover in mid-air for a moment and then proceeded to write,
"The Bandersnatch" in large white letters on the dusty surface on the board.
"The Bandersnatch students used to live on the mainland amongst the tulgey wood where they managed to form a somewhat volatile relationship with the various and elusive species of the Jabberwocks in the forest."
The Mention of the Jabberwock sent a shiver down Alice's spine. Lots of people had said nasty things to her, but he blamed the fire and the death of her parents on her. He was not a nice animal by any standards
"Now as living amongst the forests was quite difficult, they managed to acquire limited knowledge of clockworks and rudimentary machinery. Now, if the bandersnatch exist today we could only assume that they have improved their knowledge. Is everybody following so far?"
Both Alice and the Mock Turtle nodded. Alice for a moment that the Turtles giant head was going to fall off, he was nodding it so hard.
"Now can anyone describe a bandersnatch for me?" he asked to the class.
Both his students shook their heads in honest denial.
"Chalk!" he yelled, and the chalk began to move once more.
It drew a picture on the board of what Alice presumed to be a member of the Bandersnatch species and settled back in mid air. Surprisingly, it looked like a normal human being, albeit smaller and more bulkier. Alice wondered if they were any particular colour?
Tortoise cleared his throat and began again.
"Now as you can see from this diagram, the Bandersnatch are rather like the human breed of Alice. One would probably guess there "Homo Banderous" in the correct terminology."
"Their skin colour is a Caucasian with a mild hint of green among certain places such as the skin and feet."
("So they are green" Alice thought) Tortoise directed to the diagrams frame.
Also, you can see a highly developed musculature body for several reasons. Can anyone give me a reason?" He turned to the class.
Mock Turtle raised his hand as reaching for heaven.
"Yes Turtle?"
"To avoid being caught! To avoid being caught!" he stammered.
Alice was surprised , he had never been this enthusiastic about anything before.
"Correct Turtle. How about you Alice?" and turned his eyes to her which put her on the spot.
Alice thought back to what Bill had said.
"Well one of my friends said they are always building things with their hammers. Maybe it makes them stronger?"
"Not exactly accurate, but more or less correct."
Alice sighed in relief.
"Our bandersnatch example is a constructor person rather like a colony of ants. Unfortunately, no one has ever caught one in the wild and only contacts have been made via their trade embargoes. Bu those themselves do not last very long as they return home when all is done."
A bell sounded in the hallway which startled Alice.
"Who could be doing that?" she thought to herself.
"Break time," the turtle said "Be back in here in ten minutes to finish the lesson. The final topic will be on Bandersnatch thinking" and walked out of the classroom once again.
Alice and Turtle got out of their chairs to stretch their legs and let their backs recover from the discomfort.
"I wonder why they don't live on the land any more?" asked Alice to Turtle.
Turtles enthusiasm had disappeared and he shrugged his shoulders. It was obvious to Alice now that when Mockers had been here with Gryphon, he always had to compete for attention and gratification. Now Alice was the centre of attention and he was doing the best he could without being resentful, similar to the way a young boy would try to impress someone for the position of prefect.
Alice went over to the bookshelf to look at the now silent book audience and searched their titles for anything to do with the Bandersnatch, but to no avail. It dawned upon her to simply ask.
"Em. Excuse me." She began
"Why what have you done?" replied one of the books
"Nothing, I'm just going to ask you if you know anything about the Bandersnatch?"
"Oh, you mean the thing the old crab was going on about!" said another book
"He's not a crab, he's a turtle." corrected another book.
This had begun to turn into a schoolboy argument. Immature and about nothing in particular.
"Well, whatever he is, do any of you know anything?" insisted Alice.
One book spoke out over the top of the rest.
"I know that they love hammers and mallets and hitting things with them!"
"What things?" asked Alice curiously.
"Anything that gets in their way or anything they feel like! So you'd better watch out if you plan on meeting any of them." Said the book.
Just then all the books on the shelf snapped shut as the Turtle walked back into the room and Alice (reluctantly) returned to her seat alongside Turtle.
"Well, now breaks over, back to the lesson!" the Turtle said grandly and returned to his chair in front of the blackboard.
The chalk rose once again and wrote "Bandersnatch Thinking" in curved handwriting on the board.
"Now!" began the Turtle, snatching all the attention. "The way a Bandersnatch thinks is quite similar o the previous reference to the ants as they are very organised and have strength in numbers."
"You mean, the more there is, the better they are?" asked Alice.
"In a sense yes Alice, very good!"
Alice shot an apologetic look towards the Turtle who looked back, slightly deflated.
"If the fellows are building something they will put all or most of their resources to finishing the problem before they move onto another one, thereby completing the task a lot quicker than it would take a small group of them. Also, they have a fascination with Hammers and Mallets. Probably due to the fact they are always building something or assembling some form of contraption as I said they understand some basic machinery."
The Mock Turtle spoke out suddenly.
"What kind of things do they build, sir?" he asked, and smiled to himself in pride.
"It's rude to interrupt me Turtle, don't be impertinent!" snapped the Teacher and the Turtles smile vanished.
"But you did ask a valid question, I'll give you that."
His smile re-appeared.
"As far I have known and seen, I know they have built large boats to travel across the seas with and according to several older editions of the history books, they have built great weapons of brilliant ingenuity and complexity.
"Like what, Sir?" asked Mockers
The teacher stood open mouthed, he couldn't believe he didn't know the answer and neither did the Mock turtle.
"I Don't know!" said the Turtle in utter shock. "I honestly don't know! But I imagine I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of them. They have been known to be quite ruthless sometimes."
"Oh?" murmured Alice. "What do you mean?"
"Well, according to the texts. If they ever intended revenge on someone, they could be quite brutal."
"I still don't understand, sir?" said Alice.
"I think they remonstrated with a Spade guard once. Poor chap wasn't too well after it I heard and they got away with it!"
This was serious! If a person or group could attack one of the queens soldiers. And a Spade! One of the toughest and get away with it, they certainly were to be reckoned with.
The second bell rang out through the skool halls and the Turtle began to move away again.
"Hold on!" shouted Alice. "That lesson was shorter than the first!"
"Well we don't know much to start off with child and we cant tell you what we don't know can we!" replied the Turtle and stormed out of the classroom.
However, Alice felt the experience was not a totally futile one as she had learned something. She had learned that the bandersnatch are very organised and they are always building something. But still the island was a long way away and she couldn't swim there for fear of drowning.
She Turned to Mock Turtle who was about to leave the classroom to return home.
"One moment please!" she stopped him with.
He turned around slowly to see her standing firm with her hands on her hips.
"Now what am I supposed to do?" she asked. "I can't go back because there's nothing to go back to!"
"Are you sure about that Alice?" queried the Turtle. "There's always something happening in Wonderland! Maybe you could find out how the Bandersnatch get their banderscotch here?"
For once he had a brilliant idea!
"All right then, I'll head back with you. But take your time, I nearly lost in the murky waters."
"I'll do my best!" promised the Turtle and the two friends bade the Turtle farewell.
"Remember to come back one day Mockers old lad!" shouted the Turtle from the hall as they left the school.
Alice was just about to walk out of the bubble into the sea when something caught her eye up above them. It was a large metal something with the dim light gleaming off it. It was hard to distinguish but it was definitely moving and headed towards the mainland under it's own power.
"It doesn't sound like a fish and the teacher the bandersnatch used ships from time to time!" Alice thought to herself. I think I'll climb aboard!"
So Alice merged through the air bubble (activating her reptile shell) and began to swim upwards towards the dark shape, completely away from the Mock turtle who was returning to the shore, he'd be surprised when he got there and there was no Alice!