What I have learned:

The number one thing I realized was that the way I was going about spreading Christianity was wrong. I always felt terrible chewing people out for their faith, or lack of it. I know that when people tell me my faith is wrong, I automatically stop listening to that person. I don't want people telling me that if I don't change my faith, I'll be destined for Hell, and I won't tell people that. That's just mean and naïve. Period.

When I was in danger of my faith, the only people who jumped in to help were the non-Christians. The people on this site I most admire are the ones who forgive. I have thanked them already for their kindness.

I will thank them again:

Thanks to K2 and Eve, once again, for having me go back and think about my use of words. Thanks to "someone" for putting an absolute that that must be wrong.

Thanks to Java for having enough patience to listen to me whine, complain and wonder. You Rock, so Never Change!!!!!

Thanks to Elaina, for using kind words in helping me to fix my eyes back on the cross.

Thanks to Harvestboy2001 for helping me realize telling people they are crazy when they are in doubt doesn't help. It's great that you're strong in faith, but try using kinder words, if you could. I really thank you for praying for me. I'll bet that helped.

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In my very first I wonder question; I wondered how to be humble and direct at the same time.

I will NOT judge. That is a promise I make from now until eternity... I will NEVER tell people they are stupid for their personal beliefs, and I refuse to tell them mine are better. No. No. No. I won't do it.

I knew that from the start of my 'wonderings'. I just had to figure out a way to tell others of God without offending them. I concluded...

I will not TELL others of God's love so much as I will SHOW them. I have volunteered at the Ronald McDonald House in my town, and I will be at every school fundraiser and charity event there is. I have joined the SADD club at my school. I promise myself I will smile often, do what I can and show that I care for everyone. I will listen instead of talk. I will offer instead of judge. And I will screw up...a lot.

But if even one single person asks me why I am as happy as I am...how I can laugh during difficult times...I am prepared to say, "Because I have the light of Christ on my side. And with God for me, who can be against me?"

Here, on ff.net, I'm prepared. Anyone who wants to e-mail me in complaint against their lives, in questioning of God, or just as a "Hey, want to be my friend?" I will not judge. I will listen to non-Christians, and never once think I am better than them. Tell me that you already know all about God, and you don't want to hear more about it. Maybe you just want someone to talk to without worrying about God. You ask me not to bring him up, I won't. That is a promise.

To the Christians, if you want someone to help you get back to God, if you ever doubt God's love, e-mail me.

My mission, though, as I said earlier, is to show God's love. That is my know reason for living, that is my faith and my belief.

I thank God, my Shepard, for letting me wander. I thank him also for pulling me back in to his love.

NewYorkBabe