Chapter Five

Some "wise" men created a new saying. I believe that the "wise" men came from Prince Gregory's court. It spread like a plague and soon everyone was saying it. The saying was: "Looks aren't everything". Was that suppose portray Prince Gregory or I? I had a strong feeling that I would never find out and that no one would tell me. I also had a strong feeling that it was meant for ME.

Despite my sudden outburst at the most eligible bachelor prince in the entire world, only one day has passed and still another came. I thought that they would be discouraged. My rejection of him was still a scandal. Everyone didn't believe it and expected a joker to come and say it wasn't true. But soon they would have to accept it. I wasn't an ordinary princess who would settle on looks only.

I realized when I woke up today that I was happy that the suitors did come. I didn't want to be like the disgusting Princess Sienna of Url. Sienna Celeste of Mar, the disgraced princess with the face of a goddess and the attitude of a minx. That did sound bad. And I certainly couldn't bear to have that title.

The new suitor was Prince Albert. I have heard of him. I knew that he was smart and that he invented theories and didn't care whether they were correct or not. That wasn't very impressive. I haven't seen him in a picture or in real life. And I have never heard a princess say he was handsome. I was willing to give him a chance since he was smart. And maybe he was smart enough to call me Sienna.

"He is probably better than Prince Gregory," Mother told me while we waited for him.

"Why so?" I asked, curious. But I wasn't counting on her answer. She didn't have the best of judgments.

"Prince Gregory seems like a dud."

"Dud? Dud??" I repeated. Then I laughed.

"What is so funny?"

"You never say the word 'dud'! I thought you were immune to insulting!"

"I am person too, Celeste. I have every right. But he was indeed a charming dud. But everytime he was here, I have to worry because some of the maidens faint whether he passed by them with a smile."

"I wasn't like that. I knew he was a dud in the first place."

"Well, Prince Albert isn't certainly a dud. Why, his wisdom conquered his looks!"

"Looks? Is that suppose to be a bad thing or a good thing?" Please say a good thing.

"Well, I suppose a good thing. He is so smart that people only talk about his intellect."

"He might be a great scholar who spent all his time cooped up in a library of leather-bound books. And if he is so smart, then why can't he cure the common cold?"

"Celeste, stop it right now. No one can cure the common cold. Only magicians can."

My mother was wrong. Even the magicians or wizards or sorcerers, whichever, couldn't cure me of a common cold I had last winter. Maybe my mother was also a dud. But I didn't mean any disrespect… she called me Celeste. When will this end? I would keep quiet. Let my mother live in her world where the common cold could be cured.

We were at the throne room, with the subjects scattered about and my idiot of a father sitting lazily on a bejeweled chair. I didn't have a chair but I could easily push my father from his chair. I was made to stand beside my mother, the queen. Were they mad? Making me stand up and not sit? I frequently shift my weight from one foot to the other. Others say that you do that because you are nervous. But I wasn't nervous. Nervous was the last thing I would be. How could I be nervous if I was standing, sweating, and tired all at the same time?

"You are better off with Prince Albert."

"Why then?" I asked, not really caring. After our conversation, there wasn't the least bit interesting thing about him.

"Because he is smart. And he might teach you some things that you don't know."

"Things I don't know and things that I am sure are not correct."

"That's ridiculous. Why would people call him smart if all those things in his mind are incorrect?"

"Maybe because he insisted. Or maybe because he was smart before, and when he grew up, his mind was filled with stupidity."

"Really, Sienna. How could you know?" At last she called me Sienna.

"I didn't say I know. I just made a perception. A theory."

"He is coming. Say nothing to insult him. And act properly. And I wouldn't want you to act like an idiot infront of him."

"If it would make him go away, then I would rather act like an idiot than pretend to be smart."

Mother chose not to answer. Instead she focused her attention to the huge hall doors that began to open. The trumpets sounded in exclamation to his arrival. I saw a vague silhouette. I squinted.

Mother slapped my arm and said in a sharp whisper, "Squinting makes you ugly!" The mere mention of the word ugly made me stop and swear to myself never to squint. Well, unless I would want to ward of undesirables suitors…

Eventually, he did come. He wasn't handsome. Prince Albert was tall and lanky. Stringy black hair and a huge hooked nose. I stifled a laugh. His nose made the impression that he could suck things with it. He introduced himself. Very mannerly. No thank you. I hated stuffy people who stuck to the book of manners. Father invited him to the dining hall. I followed quietly and listened. I knew I was going to fall asleep when I listen to both of them. I knew that because they talked about court affairs and hierarchy. I never cared about that.

I ignored him all the time. He kept saying Celeste. Celeste! And I thought he was smart. Mother then forced me to a tour in the gardens. What was the use of that? Did she think that time alone with him would make me begotten by him? And what does he care about flowers and butterflies? As if it would add up to his brain!

We talked as we walked.

"I do have a lot of theories Princess Celeste.  Would you like to hear them?"

I nodded involuntarily. Celeste! He really was an idiot.

"Prince Albert, please call me Princess Sienna." I said.

"I shan't do that Princess. It is not your real name. And though you insist, I still won't. It would be stupid of me to call you with the name of Princess Sienna of Url."

I gave up. Though he said it in a mannerly, and proper way and not like Prince Gregory's whining voice, he still made it a point that that wasn't my name.

"If you would share your theories and sayings, may I too?" I asked.

"I would be honored to hear them."

"Even the most beautiful flower has a flaw somewhere within."

"Did you mean that to describe yourself?"

"Of course not! I am perfect as people say."

"Pray tell explain the meaning."

"For example, even the smartest person has a stupid part in his mind." It was true. Anyone who didn't call me Sienna was stupid.

"I am not stupid…" Yes you are stupid, "You mean to insult me."

I gave him my best-shocked face. "Prince Albert! How could I insult you? It is just a mere example, of no account of anybody. You must have misunderstood me. The saying I just shared is certainly with exception to you."

I smiled. He was flattered. It was all a bluff obviously. He was stupid. And he was an idiot. But I never thought of myself a good thespian to be that convincing.

"I've always wondered why the sun rises and sets." He announced.

"So I have come to the conclusion that the sun is rolling. The world on the other hand remains stable. Thus when the sun is slowly rolling, it sets and rises." 

I was baffled. "Does it roll upwards or sideward?" I do have to look smart.

"Upwards, of course. And the stars. You do wonder why they twinkle, am I right?"

"Actually, I don't give notice to their mere twinkling." I replied. I don't, really. And maybe he would shut up.

"You should give notice to the twinkling because they are of importance to what I would be saying to you."

"What will you be saying to me?"

"Stars twinkle because the light they give off is blown away. Like a candle. I suppose what blew it off was a giant's breath."

"Giants are tall but they couldn't reach the stars. And if they blow it away, than why do they come back in a flash?"

"You are wrong sweet princess. Anyone can reach stars as long as she can believe she can. And they are quickly put back. These giants hated darkness."

"Then why did they blow it out??"

"It was an accident. Their breaths are so strong that they end out putting the or star out."

"That is stupid."

"Sometimes even the stupidest idea is the right one."

"In that case it isn't."

"I suppose you have some other things to say?"      

"As a matter a fact, yes. Common sense is the pot of gold in every person."

"What does that mean?"

"Even if you know every book in existence, even if you memorized every piece of trivia you come across, all those information is nothing of you have no common sense."

"Very good point. But common sense is common thus nobody in this world has no common sense."

"Prince Albert, don't you know?"

"Know what, Princess?"

"I suppose I shouldn't tell you…since you are the smartest prince."

"I insist that you do."

"Well, I heard that people who are too smart go—" I said, lowering my voice into a whisper.

"Yes?"

"They go…crazy."

"Excuse me?" he said rather indignantly.

"Yes, crazy. Out of his mind. Talking to air about nonsense. The ones who end up in a mental prison."

I had caught him in my trap. I knew the mere mention of the word crazy, would drive him insane.

"I do not mean any disrespect but I think you are the one who is."

"I have proof. This man, Hilio was his name, was a wizard in our court. He was the best! Maybe even better than you are. I was still young but I knew that he could cure the common cold."

"The cure to the common cold! That is impossible! No one can!"

"Oh yes. I was his very close friend. I was always with him in his laboratory. Once I saw him take a cat with a cold, gave him some mauve tonic, and poof! No more cold!"

"Impossible! Preposterous!"

"But it isn't! Do you know what happened to him?"

"No."

"He ended up going insane. Right after the cat was cured of its cold. He just started ripping his notes apart. And then he broke all his apparatuses. He almost hurled me out of the window. But I screamed.

"He was immediately sent to the asylum for mentally challenged people. He was talking to someone as if there is. He was telling them that he had found the cure to the common cold but that made the guards think that he is an idiot! Alas, one of the greatest minds in the world ended up in a loony bin. Why? Because there was too much intellect in his head that his brain just burst.

"I never told anyone that he really did get the cure lest they think of me as a crackpot also. And it was useless for there was no proof. He tore all his notes.

"Once we passed through the asylum and I heard him scream! It was horrifying! It gave me a shiver up my spine! He was rotting in the asylum! Poor old man! He was screaming, screaming as if he was tortured! But he was…he was a tortured tormented shadow of the once marvelous genius. Everybody soon forgot about him. Every crazy person is always forgotten. When you go about the halls of the Citadel of Mar or the whole kingdom of Mar, you will find nothing. He was erased from everyone's minds. And my father, my wise father, decreed that he shouldn't be known, for he was a disgrace to Mar. That is why even you know nothing. If you ask my mother…she will only tell you that he was once a gardener. My father will just send you out. The people would just flee. Forget the story that I told you. I just want to bring you the warning: prevent yourself from getting smarter, else you might end up like Hilio, forgotten ancient master of wisdom."

Prince Albert looked at me with horror. His eyes were popped out of his sockets. His nose seemed to suck up all the air. Oh but all I had said was but a lie! A clever lie!

"Come with me to your mother. I will seek the truth."

He grabbed hold of my hand that I almost yelled. His grip was hard. He half dragged me to the castle. He couldn't find my mother and he asked where she was. I said that she was probably in the Sky Room. Oh dear, what have I done! Now I would have to climb all those flights and pass those corridors!  

"If you are so smart…" I huffed, "Then why don't you invent a thing that could just fly us up to that…" I breathed, "Stupid Sky Tower!"

"I'm not a magician!" he retorted, also huffing.

"But what about technology?" I pressed.

"I am only concerned with theories, alright?" he replied impatiently.

"Your theories are stupid!!!" I wanted to say. But mother told me to handle things tactfully.

"Well…only a smart person could make those theories so why can't you do technology when you are so smart?"

"I told you, I only live for theories."

Stupid numskull!!

At last, my sufferings ended and we reached the Sky Tower.

"Fair Queen Sofia," he bowed low, "May I address you?"

Mother laughed amongst the flurry of gowns, satin, and fans. "Why you already have. But yes you may."

Prince Albert's ears turned a bright shade of crimson. "I ask you about a man named Hilio…"

Mother wrinkled her nose. "That impudent gardener? Why so do you ask about him? And if you are looking for him, then you are too late for he is now exiled from the kingdom of Mar."

"What are his crimes then?"

"As I recall, he was accused of adultery, insubordination to his sovereigns, ah, and yes, he was a raving lunatic who was lucky he got the job of gardener. The only thing he was good at was picking weeds…"

Prince Albert stole a glance at me. I gave him an "I-told-you-so" look.

"Thank you for your time Fairess."

"You gave no trouble!" Mother said blissfully, not hiding the fact that she was flattered. As always.

Prince Albert bowed his way out and I followed him silently.

"So, am I right?"

"You proved nothing. A mere coincidence. Let us see your father."

"But…he is all the way down at the hall!" I almost whined.

"You will go down soon so why not now?"

I rolled me eyes and followed. If this all failed then I would certainly just have muscle cramps because of all these walking! Damn him, Prince Albert!

We soon reached my father.

"Your Highness…may I ask a very important question?"

"Why yes? Do you ask for my daughter's hand?" he replied in a happy voice.

"Why no!" I butted in, "No, no, no. He asks but a mere question to enrich his already very…uh…wise mind."

"Well, continue." My father said, rather disappointed. I'd deal with him later.

"Majesty, do you know a certain man named Hilio?"

"HILIO!!!" my father raged, "Never mention his name before my face unless you want to be cast away!!!"

Prince Albert looked rather intimidated. It was time for me to save his sorry face.

"Father, do not threaten my guest. It is just a question he was asking. And he did not mean to insult you."

"Very well…you may leave now."

I curtsied and Prince Albert shakily bowed. We made our way back to the gardens. It was time for the final blow. Prince Albert would no longer return to this kingdom ever after my statement.

"Now, do you believe me? Hilio was a very intelligent man. But he turned out to be…" I sighed, "crazy… DO you want to be crazy to Prince Albert?" I asked sweetly.

"Why no!" he replied indignantly. "No, never, not in my life!!"

He continued fretting and I had no choice but to act all sweet and comfort him. I hated cooing words to him as if he was a baby. Stand up and be a man! I wanted to shout at his ear. But he couldn't but at least I crossed of one possible suitor from my list.

I wanted to go so much so I made an excuse. "Prince Albert, I must leave you for a moment because at this our of the day it is a my daily habit to lock myself in a room and write about my day. My mother insisted so then I could brush up my literature, grammar, and writing. I am indeed sorry I would leave you."

"It is alright. I understand your cause. And I thank you for giving more than I had expected."

"Expected?"

"Yes. I thought you were a stupid mindless woman like all the other princesses…but thank you for proving me wrong."

STUPID MINDLESS WOMAN??!! How dare he?? Who did he think he was? The smartest person in the world? The size of his ego was bigger than his brain! And I was not an ordinary princess for his information!

"Eherm…Prince Albert, I am no ordinary princess. And nor am I mindless."

"And that is what I realized."

"Thank goodness. Goodbye Prince Albert. I will see to it that I will wave you goodbye from my window."

"Goodbye Princess Celeste."

"Oh, and please call me Princess Sienna." I said, irritated. Then I walked away.

"But your name is Celeste!" he shouted at me.

"Oh out a lid on it!" I mumbled.

Hilio was a real person. He was a gardener but he also once robbed my father's crown. Yes, the crown. And I thanked mother for forgetting that fact. If she mentioned that then everything would crumble. He was a blundering idiot and the only reason why he became a gardener was because his foolish wife (she has got to be foolish to marry him) was a maid here. She begged my father to give him a job, and look what he did? He stole the crown. Good thing he tripped on the way out of the castle, else he would not be caught.

I did wave goodbye to Prince Albert all because I wanted to see him look so distraught.

"Goodbye to the biggest idiot I have ever encountered." I muttered while I waved my handkerchief.

I succeeded once again. I wonder who would be the next victim?

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I do not know when I last updated but thank god I did! I almost forgot how fun it was to write this story!

Thanks to the reviewers!!