Title: A Single Tear
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is Avril Lavigne's and so forth..
Rating: PG just to be safe.
Notes: This time from Yuki's POV. I've chosen another Avril song and I'm
honestly thinking about continuing and making this a S/? ficceh...who is ?
....review and let me know whether to end it with one more chapter or go on
with it.... *Evil laugh*
___________________________________________
~* I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
This life is like a game sometimes*~
Yuki stopped in the hallway, waiting for the usual slamming of the door. There was a pause and it opened, but the slam never came. Yuki turned slowly, getting a clear look at the open door. Damn brat. Was he raised in a barn? The tall blonde nonchalantly went and closed the door, allowing himself a small sigh. It was a never-ending paradigm. They'd fight, harsh words would be exchanged and they'd just end up crawling back to each other in the end. Though usually it was Shuichi doing the crawling.
The novelist turned his back to the door and leaned back against it, looking up at the ceiling above. Why did they keep kidding themselves? So much heartache could never be love. Could it? Yuki shook his head, amber eyes closing. It was like a big game, like hide-and-go-seek or tag. They just kept running and coming back for more. When would it end? Would they ever be happy together? The thought of living without the bundle of pink haired energy made Yuki's heart clench. Sure, anybody who knew Shuichi would have to admit he's quite annoying at times, but Shuichi had made Yuki feel something that nobody else had.
*~Then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
Keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
You've made me trust *~
Yuki wouldn't allow himself to call that something love, but it was at the least a great fondness. He felt comfortable around the vocalist and he loved him unconditionally. He didn't want sex or money he just wanted Yuki. Plain and simple. All Shuichi ever asked for was to be with him and that Yuki would feel the way he felt, but every time Yuki pushed him away. Somewhere deep down Yuki knew it was true, despite how much he wished it wasn't. He did love Shuichi. Though he never spoke those three small words to Shuichi, Yuki had always assumed Shuichi knew. What if he didn't? What if Shuichi never came back? Maybe Shuichi would never know how Yuki truly felt. So this is how it was going to end..
~* I've never felt like this before
I'm naked around you
Does it show
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked around you
And it feels so right *~
Rising from the door, Yuki headed to his office. He immediately reached for his phone, dialing Nakano's number. He knew it by heart, having called several times before looking for Shuichi. It rang once.. twice.. and finally halfway through a third ring a somewhat groggy sounding Hiro answered the phone.
"Moshi, moshi?" came yawned greeting.
"Nakano? This is Yuki, may I speak to Shuichi?" Yuki asked, voice void of emotion.
"Uh.." Was the confused response from the other end. "Shu-chan isn't here, isn't he staying with you?"
Yuki grumbled a sort of 'thanks anyway' and hung up the phone. If Shuichi wasn't at Hiro's then where was he? Yuki's heart raced envisioning a million horrible things that could have happened to his lover. He shook his head, forcing himself to quit being so stupid. Shuichi was a big boy, he could take care of himself. It was at that time that a bolt of lightning lit up the sky, a horrible crack sounding in its wake. Yuki looked out the window, running a hand through his messy blonde tresses. Shuichi is fine, he told himself, reaching for a pack of cigarettes on his desk. Lighting one up, he took a long drag. He was definitely losing it.
He left his office, going into the living room. Taking a seat on the couch Yuki puffed away on his cigarette. Trying to take his mind off the pink haired vocalist, Yuki looked around his empty apartment. Things sure were quiet without Shuichi around. There he went again, was Shuichi the only thing he could think about? Giving in Yuki allowed himself to dwell on the little ball of energy known as Shuichi. His adorable smile, soft hair, and breath taking eyes. Everything about the boy was so brilliant and amazing in it's own way. Since the little 'brat' had waltzed into his life, Yuki could hardly picture the way his life was before him. Actually, come to think of it, he could. It was boring, quiet, and most of all; lonely. Though he and Shuichi talked little Yuki missed having the energetic Shuichi around to talk to if he wanted. Shuichi had been the only person Yuki trusted. Well as much as Yuki trusted anyway.
*~Trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself
And let the covers fall away
Guess I never had someone like you
To help me fit in my skin*~
Letting out a loud, exasperated sigh Yuki put out his cigarette and dropped his arms to the side of him. His hand landed on something soft and the novelist looked over to see Shuichi's little piece of cloth that he called a blanket. He picked it up, holding it before him, staring at it as if the answers of the universe were written upon it. Yuki held it up to his face, smelling Shuichi on the blanket and sighed. It hadn't even been 2 hours and he missed the little idiot. What if Shuichi never came back to him? What if. The horrible 'what ifs' began to plague Yuki again and his head swam.
If Shuichi never came back, there would be one thing Yuki would feel eternally guilty for. He'd never told Shuichi how he truly felt. Maybe that was even one of the reasons Shuichi left him this time. Yuki never really made an effort to do special things with his little lover or even tell him he appreciated and loved him. Now his chance may have just slipped away from him. Maybe he'd lost Shuichi because of his foolish pride. As he sat there, his vision blurred slightly. His head was pounding. In frustration to rid himself of the vision-blurring-pain Yuki shook his head gently, but to his surprise a wet substance rolled down his cheek. Raising his hand slowly he touched the single tear rolling down his cheek. A single tear for Shuichi.....
~ *I'm naked around you
Does it show
I'm naked around you
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through baby *~
___________________________________________
I greatly dislike this actually. I don't think I did a very good job portraying Yuki. Eh, oh well. I gave it my best effort, didn't I? Of course! Anyway let me know what you think. More or finish with one more chapter? Many Thanks! NoriChan
~* I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
This life is like a game sometimes*~
Yuki stopped in the hallway, waiting for the usual slamming of the door. There was a pause and it opened, but the slam never came. Yuki turned slowly, getting a clear look at the open door. Damn brat. Was he raised in a barn? The tall blonde nonchalantly went and closed the door, allowing himself a small sigh. It was a never-ending paradigm. They'd fight, harsh words would be exchanged and they'd just end up crawling back to each other in the end. Though usually it was Shuichi doing the crawling.
The novelist turned his back to the door and leaned back against it, looking up at the ceiling above. Why did they keep kidding themselves? So much heartache could never be love. Could it? Yuki shook his head, amber eyes closing. It was like a big game, like hide-and-go-seek or tag. They just kept running and coming back for more. When would it end? Would they ever be happy together? The thought of living without the bundle of pink haired energy made Yuki's heart clench. Sure, anybody who knew Shuichi would have to admit he's quite annoying at times, but Shuichi had made Yuki feel something that nobody else had.
*~Then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
Keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
You've made me trust *~
Yuki wouldn't allow himself to call that something love, but it was at the least a great fondness. He felt comfortable around the vocalist and he loved him unconditionally. He didn't want sex or money he just wanted Yuki. Plain and simple. All Shuichi ever asked for was to be with him and that Yuki would feel the way he felt, but every time Yuki pushed him away. Somewhere deep down Yuki knew it was true, despite how much he wished it wasn't. He did love Shuichi. Though he never spoke those three small words to Shuichi, Yuki had always assumed Shuichi knew. What if he didn't? What if Shuichi never came back? Maybe Shuichi would never know how Yuki truly felt. So this is how it was going to end..
~* I've never felt like this before
I'm naked around you
Does it show
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked around you
And it feels so right *~
Rising from the door, Yuki headed to his office. He immediately reached for his phone, dialing Nakano's number. He knew it by heart, having called several times before looking for Shuichi. It rang once.. twice.. and finally halfway through a third ring a somewhat groggy sounding Hiro answered the phone.
"Moshi, moshi?" came yawned greeting.
"Nakano? This is Yuki, may I speak to Shuichi?" Yuki asked, voice void of emotion.
"Uh.." Was the confused response from the other end. "Shu-chan isn't here, isn't he staying with you?"
Yuki grumbled a sort of 'thanks anyway' and hung up the phone. If Shuichi wasn't at Hiro's then where was he? Yuki's heart raced envisioning a million horrible things that could have happened to his lover. He shook his head, forcing himself to quit being so stupid. Shuichi was a big boy, he could take care of himself. It was at that time that a bolt of lightning lit up the sky, a horrible crack sounding in its wake. Yuki looked out the window, running a hand through his messy blonde tresses. Shuichi is fine, he told himself, reaching for a pack of cigarettes on his desk. Lighting one up, he took a long drag. He was definitely losing it.
He left his office, going into the living room. Taking a seat on the couch Yuki puffed away on his cigarette. Trying to take his mind off the pink haired vocalist, Yuki looked around his empty apartment. Things sure were quiet without Shuichi around. There he went again, was Shuichi the only thing he could think about? Giving in Yuki allowed himself to dwell on the little ball of energy known as Shuichi. His adorable smile, soft hair, and breath taking eyes. Everything about the boy was so brilliant and amazing in it's own way. Since the little 'brat' had waltzed into his life, Yuki could hardly picture the way his life was before him. Actually, come to think of it, he could. It was boring, quiet, and most of all; lonely. Though he and Shuichi talked little Yuki missed having the energetic Shuichi around to talk to if he wanted. Shuichi had been the only person Yuki trusted. Well as much as Yuki trusted anyway.
*~Trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself
And let the covers fall away
Guess I never had someone like you
To help me fit in my skin*~
Letting out a loud, exasperated sigh Yuki put out his cigarette and dropped his arms to the side of him. His hand landed on something soft and the novelist looked over to see Shuichi's little piece of cloth that he called a blanket. He picked it up, holding it before him, staring at it as if the answers of the universe were written upon it. Yuki held it up to his face, smelling Shuichi on the blanket and sighed. It hadn't even been 2 hours and he missed the little idiot. What if Shuichi never came back to him? What if. The horrible 'what ifs' began to plague Yuki again and his head swam.
If Shuichi never came back, there would be one thing Yuki would feel eternally guilty for. He'd never told Shuichi how he truly felt. Maybe that was even one of the reasons Shuichi left him this time. Yuki never really made an effort to do special things with his little lover or even tell him he appreciated and loved him. Now his chance may have just slipped away from him. Maybe he'd lost Shuichi because of his foolish pride. As he sat there, his vision blurred slightly. His head was pounding. In frustration to rid himself of the vision-blurring-pain Yuki shook his head gently, but to his surprise a wet substance rolled down his cheek. Raising his hand slowly he touched the single tear rolling down his cheek. A single tear for Shuichi.....
~ *I'm naked around you
Does it show
I'm naked around you
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through baby *~
___________________________________________
I greatly dislike this actually. I don't think I did a very good job portraying Yuki. Eh, oh well. I gave it my best effort, didn't I? Of course! Anyway let me know what you think. More or finish with one more chapter? Many Thanks! NoriChan