Tomb Raider: The Scantily Clad Chronicles
Chapter 2: Training Time!
[Butler enters the breakfast room with a glass of Orange Juice. Lara sits in full army gear with her large combat boots on the table.]
Butler: Here you are M'lady.[He passes her the glass she downs it in one and passes it back to him]
Lara: I need that dagger and if I'm going to get it I've got to be ready! [She slams her fist on the table] We need to do some training.
Butler: Miss Croft before we embark on dangerous and possibly fatal training in which I control the very safety of your life can I ask, what is my name?
Lara: Oh I don't know…. Percy?
Butler: [Containing his anger] Right…. [The glass in his hand shatters in to pieces] Let's go arm the lasers!
Lara: [Oblivious] OK
TEN MINUTES LATER
[Lara does a series of showy and unnecessary back flips to avoid the rapid fire. Butler sits behind controlling the weapon]
Butler: [Unheard over the din of the laser] DIE BITCH! DIE! I'LL SHOW YOU TO USE ME AS A MOVING TARGET IN YOUR ASSAULT COURSE!
[Lara does a spectacular move. She manages to accurately throw a rock with her feet while eating a banana and hanging from the bars. The rock disables Butler's laser. Enter the token Scottish brain that no one likes]
ScottishGuyWhoNoOneLikes: Ach no! Ya wee burn! Wat have ye doon ta ma precious leesa! [There is a brief silence. He speaks with his proper English accent.] I'll get my coat then shall I…?
[Butler and Lara exchange glances.]
Butler & Lara: RIIIIIGGGHHHTTT…
[Lara hangs from the bars. There is a knock at the front door]
Butler: I'll just get that…
Lara: Be quick; I need to get down!
[Butler meets his old pal, Jeeves at the door. They go through to the kitchen and begin to talk.]
SIX HOURS LATER
Jeeves: So I said to him you can make you own breakfast!
Butler: Damn Right!
Jeeves: So how is Miss Croft?
Butler: Dear Lord!
[They rush to the gymnasium where they find Lara weeping.]
Lara: [Sobbing] I ate a penny to stay alive!
Chapter 2: Training Time!
[Butler enters the breakfast room with a glass of Orange Juice. Lara sits in full army gear with her large combat boots on the table.]
Butler: Here you are M'lady.[He passes her the glass she downs it in one and passes it back to him]
Lara: I need that dagger and if I'm going to get it I've got to be ready! [She slams her fist on the table] We need to do some training.
Butler: Miss Croft before we embark on dangerous and possibly fatal training in which I control the very safety of your life can I ask, what is my name?
Lara: Oh I don't know…. Percy?
Butler: [Containing his anger] Right…. [The glass in his hand shatters in to pieces] Let's go arm the lasers!
Lara: [Oblivious] OK
TEN MINUTES LATER
[Lara does a series of showy and unnecessary back flips to avoid the rapid fire. Butler sits behind controlling the weapon]
Butler: [Unheard over the din of the laser] DIE BITCH! DIE! I'LL SHOW YOU TO USE ME AS A MOVING TARGET IN YOUR ASSAULT COURSE!
[Lara does a spectacular move. She manages to accurately throw a rock with her feet while eating a banana and hanging from the bars. The rock disables Butler's laser. Enter the token Scottish brain that no one likes]
ScottishGuyWhoNoOneLikes: Ach no! Ya wee burn! Wat have ye doon ta ma precious leesa! [There is a brief silence. He speaks with his proper English accent.] I'll get my coat then shall I…?
[Butler and Lara exchange glances.]
Butler & Lara: RIIIIIGGGHHHTTT…
[Lara hangs from the bars. There is a knock at the front door]
Butler: I'll just get that…
Lara: Be quick; I need to get down!
[Butler meets his old pal, Jeeves at the door. They go through to the kitchen and begin to talk.]
SIX HOURS LATER
Jeeves: So I said to him you can make you own breakfast!
Butler: Damn Right!
Jeeves: So how is Miss Croft?
Butler: Dear Lord!
[They rush to the gymnasium where they find Lara weeping.]
Lara: [Sobbing] I ate a penny to stay alive!