Chapter 12: Lily Potter's Journal
A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...................................... Don't ask what that was all about. I have NO idea where the hell that came from. Oh, and I fixed this chapter. I went online to get the link for one of my friends and I saw it was all squishy-like, so I fixed it. Out of all the people that reviewed for this chapter, not a single one said anything about the squishy-ness!!!! Love you all, smile (*coughcoughChelseycoughcough*), Leliel Hymn, Myrtle- Pyrtle, and anonymous!!!!!!!!
"Drac, I passed! I got through Potions!" Harry cried happily as he flew into his lover's arms. The past month had gone by in a blur. Now it was only a week until the end of the school year and everyone in the Gryffindor common room (and probably all the other house common rooms, as well) was crowded around the seven bulletin boards that had been conjured up, holding the exam results for each year.
"Congratulations!" Draco exclaimed, hugging Harry tightly. "I told you! I knew you'd pass!"
"Only because you helped me with nearly everything," Harry corrected wryly.
"Nuh-uh, you did the exam totally by yourself," Draco objected, walking over to the board.
"I already checked. You passed," Harry called as he watched his boyfriend sidle through the crowd.
"Of course I passed. I already knew that," Draco replied, checking the board, then making his way back to Harry. "I just wanted to see how much I beat you by," he added, a mischievous grin on his face and twinkle in his eye. The response he received was a pillow in the face. He dropped it to the floor and saw Harry hiding behind a bewildered Ron.
"Move," Draco ordered jokingly, advancing on the two boys as he pointed a finger at Ron.
"Oh, gladly," Ron responded, raising his hands and laughing as he complied immediately.
"Oh! Thanks, Ron!" Harry cried, rolling out of the way and behind a couch as Draco lunged at the raven-haired teen.
"Anytime!" Ron called back as he joined Hermione at their board. Draco dove at Harry before the other boy had a chance to move, pinning him to the floor.
"Gotcha," Draco whispered before pressing a kiss on Harry's smirking lips. Harry sighed inwardly as he locked his arms around Draco's neck, amazed as always at how right this felt. Him, Draco, ...Draco's lips. Harry smiled and kissed Draco even more urgently. Mmmm.Draco's lips. What that man could do with them was extraordinary in Harry's eyes. Eyes. Draco's eyes. Ohhh...
"Oh, get a room," came the teasing suggestion from above. Harry and Draco reluctantly broke apart and glared up at whoever had broken the moment. Seamus and Dean knelt side-by-side, grinning at them over the back of the couch.
"Boy, for two gay guys, you certainly know how to kill a moment," Draco grumbled, getting up and offering Harry a hand.
"Draco," Harry chided gently.
"What?" the blonde asked with mock innocence. Harry simply shook his head.
"Anyway, I've got to go. Professor Snape wanted to see me," Draco remarked.
"Ew, yucky." Harry made a face.
Draco smirked and started towards the portrait hole. He'd barely gone three steps, however, when a strong arm wrapped around his wait and dragged him back.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Harry whispered huskily into his ear, the sound sending tremors through Draco's body.
"I might," Draco replied, his voice just as hoarse, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed.
"You are," Harry murmured before hungrily kissing Draco. The blonde conceded immediately, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. After a moment or two, Draco managed to breathe, kiss, and wriggle away from Harry all at the same time.
"Noooooo," Harry moaned reproachfully as Draco pulled away.
"I'll be back soon," Draco promised. "I'll make it up to you then."
"Better believe you will," Harry responded. "Love you," he added softly. Draco smiled and caressed Harry's cheek gently.
"Love you, too, sweetie." With one last chaste kiss, Draco disappeared through the portrait. Harry watched until he could no longer see him. Smiling contently, he turned and walked back over to his friends.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Harry?"
Harry turned around and smiled at Draco as the blonde entered the room.
"Hi, sweetie," Draco greeted, wrapping his arms around Harry and kissing his neck. "What're you reading?" he asked as he climbed over the couch and pulled Harry into his lap. Harry shifted the books he was holding so Draco was able to read the titles.
"Lily Potter's Journal and James Potter's Journal," Draco read aloud. "Oh. Sorry. I'll go back to the common room so you can read these." He made to get up and leave when Harry grasped his arm and prevented him from doing so.
"Harry?" Draco asked worriedly. "Honey, are you okay?"
"Drac.I can't do it alone," Harry whispered hoarsely, his eyes shimmering brightly. "I need you here with me."
Draco gazed deep into Harry's eyes-his soul-as he contemplated what his boyfriend had just said. He wasn't sure if he wanted to intrude on something as private as this. After a moment, he realized that Harry had never yet opened these journals. He couldn't do so because the memory of his parents was too strong. Finally, he nodded. Harry wanted to share this immensely intimate moment with him. Him. Draco.
"Okay," he agreed softly. A ghost of a smile flickered over Harry's face as Draco returned to his seat and pulled Harry close.
"Thank you," Harry murmured, almost inaudibly, breathing in Draco's scent. He yawned and snuggled closer to Draco.
"You know, you look incredibly gorgeous when you're tired," Draco whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair away from Harry's eyes.
"Mmmm, and there's another reason added to the list of reasons why I love you." Harry smiled faintly and picked up the journal that read 'Lily Potter' on the front. With shaking hands he traced over the script. Draco noticed how much his love was trembling and covered Harry's hands with his own.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to try now, with me here," Draco whispered. Harry's eyes looked bleakly back at him.
"Yes, I do."
Draco nodded again.
"Okay."
Harry shakily opened the journal to the second page (the first was the dedication, which was the same as her husband's).
May 4, 1979
James and I are getting married today! I can't tell you how long I've waited for this day. Here, I'll describe what my dress looks like (which is GORGEOUS, by the way, thanks to my best friend, Riana). It's an off-the- shoulder gown, close fitting to my waist, where there are layers and layers of chiffon. It has a three-foot train and its made of an ivory silk. My veil was my grandmother's, the one she wore when she was married, God bless her soul. Oh, now I've done it. I'm crying again. For about the fifth time in two hours, I might add.
As the hours flew by and the fire grew low, Harry and Draco read Lily's journal, detailing her life from her marriage day until right before Voldemort struck.
"We're on the last entry," Draco whispered into Harry's ear. Harry nodded numbly. He couldn't do anything otherwise. Draco shifted his position so Harry was cradled in his lap and brushed his lips against Harry's temple. Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder and they continued reading. (A/N: Thank you, Saturn625 and Leliel Hymn!)
October 31, 1981
Harry just woke up from his sleep. He's been doing that a lot lately. I hope nothing's wrong. Ever since Harry came into our lives, I don't know. A room seems brighter when he's in it. My two boys. Harry and James. I spoil them both rotten. I don't know- Oh, my god. He's here! I can see him outside! I have to save Harry! If anything happens to him, I'll never forgive myself- Oh, Merlin, no. He's inside!
And that's when Lily Evans Potter's young life ended.
Harry closed the journal and wiped tears of regret from his eyes.
"Harry?" Draco asked softly as Harry stared into the dim embers. Harry looked at him with pain-filled green eyes.
"I killed them, Drac," Harry replied, tears welling up in his eyes. "It's my fault they're gone. I killed them."
"No! No, no, don't think that," Draco ordered gently, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "Don't you dare believe that."
"It's true!" Harry burst out. "I killed them! I'm a murderer! I should be the one six feet under, not them!"
"That's not funny, Harry," Draco muttered.
"It's not meant to be funny," the Boy Who Thinks He Should Be Dead replied seriously.
"Harry, if you were dead, I would spend my life alone," Draco reminded him, his fingers dancing over Harry's cheek as Harry gazed back, emerald eyes boring into silver-grey eyes. "Right now in my life, I can't imagine being with anyone else. I want to be with you forever. You give me reason to live," he added in earnest.
"I don't deserve to live," Harry objected bitterly. "I'm a murderer. A killer. I'm no better than Voldemort himself."
"Harry, don't say that!" Draco demanded sharply, his eyes strangely bright. "You are better than Voldemort. You're better than me. If anyone's doesn't deserve something, it's me. I don't deserve you," Draco added quietly. Harry raised his gaze to meet that of his boyfriend. "I don't deserve you. And.yet...by some outrageous miracle, out of all the people in the world...you chose me. So I try my best to be the best...for you. Harry, I don't care if you miserably failed every subject or my father says I can't see you anymore. I don't care. I am never, ever going to stop loving you. I would do anything to be worthy of you," Draco finished, a solitary tear running down his face. Harry brushed it away and slipped his arms around Draco's chest, burying his face in the soft cloth of the blonde's shirt.
"Thank you," he whispered.
A/N: Ahhhhh, sappy, sappy crap this chapter is. Crap. Oh, well. Chapter 14 is going to be the end to this story. I'm excited. See? ;-D Big smile. The sequel is called 'Love Always Succeeds'. Gotta go write! Ta ta, all my lovely readers and reviewers! WAIT!!! OMG, did anyone see TRL on Oct 22? DANIEL RADCLIFFE WAS A GUEST!!!!!! AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!!!! OMG, he is sooooooooo hot! Okay, now I gotta go. Buh-bye!
A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...................................... Don't ask what that was all about. I have NO idea where the hell that came from. Oh, and I fixed this chapter. I went online to get the link for one of my friends and I saw it was all squishy-like, so I fixed it. Out of all the people that reviewed for this chapter, not a single one said anything about the squishy-ness!!!! Love you all, smile (*coughcoughChelseycoughcough*), Leliel Hymn, Myrtle- Pyrtle, and anonymous!!!!!!!!
"Drac, I passed! I got through Potions!" Harry cried happily as he flew into his lover's arms. The past month had gone by in a blur. Now it was only a week until the end of the school year and everyone in the Gryffindor common room (and probably all the other house common rooms, as well) was crowded around the seven bulletin boards that had been conjured up, holding the exam results for each year.
"Congratulations!" Draco exclaimed, hugging Harry tightly. "I told you! I knew you'd pass!"
"Only because you helped me with nearly everything," Harry corrected wryly.
"Nuh-uh, you did the exam totally by yourself," Draco objected, walking over to the board.
"I already checked. You passed," Harry called as he watched his boyfriend sidle through the crowd.
"Of course I passed. I already knew that," Draco replied, checking the board, then making his way back to Harry. "I just wanted to see how much I beat you by," he added, a mischievous grin on his face and twinkle in his eye. The response he received was a pillow in the face. He dropped it to the floor and saw Harry hiding behind a bewildered Ron.
"Move," Draco ordered jokingly, advancing on the two boys as he pointed a finger at Ron.
"Oh, gladly," Ron responded, raising his hands and laughing as he complied immediately.
"Oh! Thanks, Ron!" Harry cried, rolling out of the way and behind a couch as Draco lunged at the raven-haired teen.
"Anytime!" Ron called back as he joined Hermione at their board. Draco dove at Harry before the other boy had a chance to move, pinning him to the floor.
"Gotcha," Draco whispered before pressing a kiss on Harry's smirking lips. Harry sighed inwardly as he locked his arms around Draco's neck, amazed as always at how right this felt. Him, Draco, ...Draco's lips. Harry smiled and kissed Draco even more urgently. Mmmm.Draco's lips. What that man could do with them was extraordinary in Harry's eyes. Eyes. Draco's eyes. Ohhh...
"Oh, get a room," came the teasing suggestion from above. Harry and Draco reluctantly broke apart and glared up at whoever had broken the moment. Seamus and Dean knelt side-by-side, grinning at them over the back of the couch.
"Boy, for two gay guys, you certainly know how to kill a moment," Draco grumbled, getting up and offering Harry a hand.
"Draco," Harry chided gently.
"What?" the blonde asked with mock innocence. Harry simply shook his head.
"Anyway, I've got to go. Professor Snape wanted to see me," Draco remarked.
"Ew, yucky." Harry made a face.
Draco smirked and started towards the portrait hole. He'd barely gone three steps, however, when a strong arm wrapped around his wait and dragged him back.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Harry whispered huskily into his ear, the sound sending tremors through Draco's body.
"I might," Draco replied, his voice just as hoarse, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed.
"You are," Harry murmured before hungrily kissing Draco. The blonde conceded immediately, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. After a moment or two, Draco managed to breathe, kiss, and wriggle away from Harry all at the same time.
"Noooooo," Harry moaned reproachfully as Draco pulled away.
"I'll be back soon," Draco promised. "I'll make it up to you then."
"Better believe you will," Harry responded. "Love you," he added softly. Draco smiled and caressed Harry's cheek gently.
"Love you, too, sweetie." With one last chaste kiss, Draco disappeared through the portrait. Harry watched until he could no longer see him. Smiling contently, he turned and walked back over to his friends.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Harry?"
Harry turned around and smiled at Draco as the blonde entered the room.
"Hi, sweetie," Draco greeted, wrapping his arms around Harry and kissing his neck. "What're you reading?" he asked as he climbed over the couch and pulled Harry into his lap. Harry shifted the books he was holding so Draco was able to read the titles.
"Lily Potter's Journal and James Potter's Journal," Draco read aloud. "Oh. Sorry. I'll go back to the common room so you can read these." He made to get up and leave when Harry grasped his arm and prevented him from doing so.
"Harry?" Draco asked worriedly. "Honey, are you okay?"
"Drac.I can't do it alone," Harry whispered hoarsely, his eyes shimmering brightly. "I need you here with me."
Draco gazed deep into Harry's eyes-his soul-as he contemplated what his boyfriend had just said. He wasn't sure if he wanted to intrude on something as private as this. After a moment, he realized that Harry had never yet opened these journals. He couldn't do so because the memory of his parents was too strong. Finally, he nodded. Harry wanted to share this immensely intimate moment with him. Him. Draco.
"Okay," he agreed softly. A ghost of a smile flickered over Harry's face as Draco returned to his seat and pulled Harry close.
"Thank you," Harry murmured, almost inaudibly, breathing in Draco's scent. He yawned and snuggled closer to Draco.
"You know, you look incredibly gorgeous when you're tired," Draco whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair away from Harry's eyes.
"Mmmm, and there's another reason added to the list of reasons why I love you." Harry smiled faintly and picked up the journal that read 'Lily Potter' on the front. With shaking hands he traced over the script. Draco noticed how much his love was trembling and covered Harry's hands with his own.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to try now, with me here," Draco whispered. Harry's eyes looked bleakly back at him.
"Yes, I do."
Draco nodded again.
"Okay."
Harry shakily opened the journal to the second page (the first was the dedication, which was the same as her husband's).
May 4, 1979
James and I are getting married today! I can't tell you how long I've waited for this day. Here, I'll describe what my dress looks like (which is GORGEOUS, by the way, thanks to my best friend, Riana). It's an off-the- shoulder gown, close fitting to my waist, where there are layers and layers of chiffon. It has a three-foot train and its made of an ivory silk. My veil was my grandmother's, the one she wore when she was married, God bless her soul. Oh, now I've done it. I'm crying again. For about the fifth time in two hours, I might add.
As the hours flew by and the fire grew low, Harry and Draco read Lily's journal, detailing her life from her marriage day until right before Voldemort struck.
"We're on the last entry," Draco whispered into Harry's ear. Harry nodded numbly. He couldn't do anything otherwise. Draco shifted his position so Harry was cradled in his lap and brushed his lips against Harry's temple. Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder and they continued reading. (A/N: Thank you, Saturn625 and Leliel Hymn!)
October 31, 1981
Harry just woke up from his sleep. He's been doing that a lot lately. I hope nothing's wrong. Ever since Harry came into our lives, I don't know. A room seems brighter when he's in it. My two boys. Harry and James. I spoil them both rotten. I don't know- Oh, my god. He's here! I can see him outside! I have to save Harry! If anything happens to him, I'll never forgive myself- Oh, Merlin, no. He's inside!
And that's when Lily Evans Potter's young life ended.
Harry closed the journal and wiped tears of regret from his eyes.
"Harry?" Draco asked softly as Harry stared into the dim embers. Harry looked at him with pain-filled green eyes.
"I killed them, Drac," Harry replied, tears welling up in his eyes. "It's my fault they're gone. I killed them."
"No! No, no, don't think that," Draco ordered gently, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "Don't you dare believe that."
"It's true!" Harry burst out. "I killed them! I'm a murderer! I should be the one six feet under, not them!"
"That's not funny, Harry," Draco muttered.
"It's not meant to be funny," the Boy Who Thinks He Should Be Dead replied seriously.
"Harry, if you were dead, I would spend my life alone," Draco reminded him, his fingers dancing over Harry's cheek as Harry gazed back, emerald eyes boring into silver-grey eyes. "Right now in my life, I can't imagine being with anyone else. I want to be with you forever. You give me reason to live," he added in earnest.
"I don't deserve to live," Harry objected bitterly. "I'm a murderer. A killer. I'm no better than Voldemort himself."
"Harry, don't say that!" Draco demanded sharply, his eyes strangely bright. "You are better than Voldemort. You're better than me. If anyone's doesn't deserve something, it's me. I don't deserve you," Draco added quietly. Harry raised his gaze to meet that of his boyfriend. "I don't deserve you. And.yet...by some outrageous miracle, out of all the people in the world...you chose me. So I try my best to be the best...for you. Harry, I don't care if you miserably failed every subject or my father says I can't see you anymore. I don't care. I am never, ever going to stop loving you. I would do anything to be worthy of you," Draco finished, a solitary tear running down his face. Harry brushed it away and slipped his arms around Draco's chest, burying his face in the soft cloth of the blonde's shirt.
"Thank you," he whispered.
A/N: Ahhhhh, sappy, sappy crap this chapter is. Crap. Oh, well. Chapter 14 is going to be the end to this story. I'm excited. See? ;-D Big smile. The sequel is called 'Love Always Succeeds'. Gotta go write! Ta ta, all my lovely readers and reviewers! WAIT!!! OMG, did anyone see TRL on Oct 22? DANIEL RADCLIFFE WAS A GUEST!!!!!! AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!!!! OMG, he is sooooooooo hot! Okay, now I gotta go. Buh-bye!