A.N.: Thank you for the positive comments. I feel so loved. Oh and Ry
Senkari? You have no idea how much your review meant to me. I've been
reading your Cowboy Bebop: Funny Sessions. YOU my friend are funny! Where
does a sense of humor like than come from?
Disclaimer: Doo bee doo bee doooo. TLK don't belong to me, nor you..
~~~~Elephant Graveyard~~~~
"Man, that lousy Mufasa. He just had to touch my ass didn't he? I knew there was something about him." Popeye squatted with slashes all over his poop chute.
Ed sat reading the National Enquirer in the corner. He looked up from his articles, "Well he DOES come running every time we get into the kingdom. He acts like he's mad, but we know the real reason. I mean, he wasn't swiping at us, he was trying to 'wrestle'."
"It's not funny Ed." Popeye growled.
"Do you see me giggling like some idiot?" Ed snapped.
"GRRRRR," Popeye leapt onto Ed and tore at his face.
Ed with his extensive knowledge of the martial arts, pulled some Tai Kwon Do on him and sent a swift kick to Popeye's little Banzai. Crouched in pain, Popeye limped over to the corner.
"Would you two knock it off?!" Shitsi yelled.
"We did! Geez, pay attention bitch!" Popeye snapped back.
"I was too busy wid' yo' momma!"
Ed moaned, "I am surrounded by idiots."
Scar jumped up onto the perch above the gol damn dirty sons of bitches (aka the hyenas), "I brought you some food though I don't think I should give it to you."
"Then why did you bring it up, Fruitcake?" Shitsi barked.
"I practically gift wrapped those cubs for you. And you couldn't even dispose of them!" Scar moaned dangling the meat above them.
"Screw this! Just jump him!" Popeye leapt up and snapped the zebra leg from Scar. Shitsi nipped Scar's tail. Ed Karate chopped him in the trachea.
Chowing down on the leg, Shitsi spoke up, "Well, if Mufasa would quit dry humpin' us maybe we could get closer to killing 'those cubs'. It's like that damn lion stalks us, waiting for a dark alley to come along then BAM! Major pain in the ass (no pun intended)."
"Yeah what are we supposed to do? Kill Mufasa?" Popeye added.
"WHAT?! KILL MY OWN BROTHER? Sakes alive! Why would I do that?!" Scar gasped hold his paw to his chest.
"Well, you wanna be king don't you?" Popeye asked.
"Yes." Scar replied.
"Well, all it takes is a little push off Pride Rock-." Shitsi hinted.
"NO! I would rather just embarrass him a lot." Scar confessed, "And I think I have the perfect plan. Who has a camera?"
"Huh?" The hyenas lifted their gaze to the scheming Not King.
Scar jumped down bouncing around like Simba on crack. Music kicked up.
"Oh great," The hyenas mumbled, "Now he's gonna sing. What's wrong with explaining in a normal conversation?"
Scar: I know that he cowers in humiliation. That he gets wet from a wart hog's backside. But as sick that is-LIKE URINATION-My word, he makes me wanna hide. It's clear that he likes he own bacon. He likes to walk 'round naked upstairs. But we're talking of his own sick intentions-Even YOU can be caught in your underwear!
The hyenas look at each other and roll their eyes.
Scar continues: So prepare the glance of a lifetime-Be prepared for sensational views. The queen, you can hear her. She's tiptoeing nearer.
Shitsi mumbles unenthused: And where do we feature?
Scar: Just listen, you creature. I know it sounds morbid, but you'll be rewarded 'cause the king has a thing for derrieres. Then he will come out in his underwear-YOU'LL BE SCARED!
Popeye: Yeah sure be scared-for what?
Scar: For the sight of the king in his ladies undergarments!
Popeye: Geez! Is he sick or something?
Scar: No, fool. But he is too big for them! Sarabi is too. But she likes it when he wears her "unmentionables".
Shitsi whispered sidelong to the others: I'd go with sick.
Scar: We will film it and he'll be so embarrassed, he'll run away!
Shitsi: Yeah, who needs a king?
P/S: No king, no king, tra la la la la la!
Scar: Idiots! There will be a Queen!
Popeye: Hey, you just said-
Scar: I will be Queen! And I will rule the kingdom! All will tremble before my wrath!
Shitsi (whispering): did he just say 'queen'?
Popeye: Just go along with it. I guess it must run in the family.
Hyenas suddenly pop outta nowhere and start dancing and singing. (How did they all know the words? Was there a rehearsal I was unaware of?)
Hyenas: It's great that he'll soon be rejected, and impeached for his sexual deals.
Scar: Of course, this all goes I'll be expected. To teach my bro how it feels.. To be expelled just for being younger; I never even gotta single chance to see, I cannot stand it any longer-I'm tired of him getting more pussy than me! (Cat that is.)
Scar/Hyenas: You'll be scared of the poop of this monarch
Scar: You'll be scared 'cause it smells like ham
Hyenas:(Poooooooo la la la)
Scar: It's squishy and smelly and feels like grape jelly
Hyenas:(he will poo lots of poo)
Scar: Piles and piles is simply while I'll-
Hyenas:(we repeat-smells like feeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
Scar: Sneak around undetected they poop-I'm respected
Hyenas:(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
Scar: And the king won't even know we were there.
Hyenas:(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!)
Scar: Yes, the king will come out in his wife's underwear-
Hyenas:(ah ah ah ah ah!)
Scar: YOU'LL BE SCARED!
S/H: Yes, the king will be seen in his underwear! WE'LL BE SCARED!
Scar laughs maniacally and lopes off to put his plan into motion.
Popeye, Shitsi, and Ed all look at each other and say in unison, "Kill him."
"He doesn't actually expect THAT to be affective does he?" Popeye asks.
"Indubitably," Ed replies, "He does. I honestly do not think brains and intellect were passed out at all in that family. It seems our fellow feline has a thing for peering at others with a serious psychological chemical imbalancement. Maybe he only cries out for attention and only receives rejection. A dark void where love should have been. Mother held him too much or not enough. To quote Louis XIV-"
Ed sees the others staring at him blankly. Sighing again in defeat, he slobers all over and giggles stupidly.
"Right! We should start a stampede." Popeye agreed.
"All right then. Let's ride!" Shitsi exclaims.
Popeye and Ed glare at her.
"Uh, yee haw?"
They continue to glare.
"Let's crank dis' mo' fo'?"
Glares.
"Oh never mind. Let's just go to the friggin' gorge.
~~~The next day~~~ Boy, that sounds ominous doesn't it?
Scar walks up to the hyena trio who are eyeing a wildebeest herd.
"Okay, I've got the camera and tripod set up. Now all we need is a clear shot of the king."
The hyenas glance at each other and roll there eyes.
"Uh, yeah, sure boss. But, uh, one more thing before we do that." Shitsi said.
"Really? What?" Scar asked.
Popeye stepped forward, "We need you to bring Simba here and put him down there under that tree." He pointed to the bottom of the gorge.
Scar looks down, "Um, okay. Why?"
Shitsi thinks, "It's a, uh, surprise! Yeah, something for Mufasa and Simba. So when you get Simba down there, give us a signal THEN go get Mufasa. Got it?"
Scar thinks for a moment, "Hmm, okay. I'll be right back!" and he skips off like a little girl (or runs off like Scott Evil in Goldmember).
The hyenas can't help but laugh.
~~~At the gorge bottom~~~
"Now wait here you little rascal. I'll go get your father who has a marvelous surprise that he didn't want me to tell you about. Oops. Oh, silly me. I seem to always say too much," he held out his paw, "Here, Simba. Give me a smack for being wicked."
"Okay." Simba replies, but then stops with his paw in the air, "Waaaaait a minute-I ain't like that, Uncle."
"Oh, deary me. Sorry. I can be such a naughty kitty sometimes."
Simba raised his eyebrow.
"I'll go get Daddy now." And scar frolicked away.
Simba sat there for a moment before he spied a lizard and began molesting it. (And molest just means pester or abuse.)
"Grrowel luh luh luh," he purred.
~~~Meanwhile, on the top of the gorge~~~
"Hey there's Scar! The dumbass actually did it! Let's go." Shitsi led the way as they scared the wildebeests over the edge.
~~~~Bottom again~~~~
Simba heard the rumbling before he saw the animals. And like an idiot, he waited until they were right behind him before he decided to move his furry ass. He could have just climbed that big tree right next to him, but nooooooo. He has to run-. (I am just worried about that poor lizard. There's no way he could have run fast enough. *sniffles* The movie should have been all about that brave soul. Mr. Lizard, I salute you! o )
Mufasa and his bitch Zazu were pimpin' through the prides when Scar runs up outta breath.
"Mufasa, there's a stampede in the gorge with your ungrateful sperm stuck in the middle!"
"Simba?!" Mufasa raced off toward the rising dust cloud. He didn't hear Scar saying something about the hyenas setting him up.
~~~In the melee~~~
Simba clung to a piddly excuse for a tree with his ass hanging just inches from the horns of the panicked wildebeest. Zazu flew down and called to him, "Simba are you okay?!"
Simba looked back over his shoulder in disbelief, "Yeah, I've got it under control. Don't bother trying to get help or anything." He replied sarcastically.
Zazu flew back to Mufasa mumbling under his breath, "Rotten little shit."
Mufasa and Scar slid down to a ledge, "Where is he Zazu?!" Mufasa yelled to him.
"Oh how should I know? He has everything under control anyway. Leave him be."
Scar bitch slapped Zazu into the wall where he was knocked unconscious.
Mufasa leapt into the stampede where he was knocked around like a pinball. Simba slapped his forehead with his palm, "Geez, Dad. Come on. You're supposed to have cat-like speedy reflexes." (Tommy Boy)
Finally, after get beat up so much he has little pikachus running circles around his head, Mufasa stumbled on over like a drunk monkey to the twig Simba was clinging to.
But then a wildebeest crashed into the tree and Simba went flying.
"Awww," Mufasa moaned, "shit."
He leapt high into the air like Michael Jordon and caught the airborn cub in the air in his mouth. Unfortunately, he opened too wide and swallowed Simba. Damn. That has to suck. Don't you just hate it when you eat your own young?
Jumping up and clinging to a ledge, Mufasa regurgitated the kid as Scar ran up.
"Holy crap, Mufasa! Who's balls have you been licking?!"
Before he could answer, Mufasa was knocked back into the stampede. So much for the king's "loyal subjects". Yeah, sorry your highness, but we're trying to save our own asses here.
Scar scurried off higher to get a better view. Simba came back to consciousness and began frantically searching for his father in the horns and dust. Mufasa leapt up and started climbing the most difficult spot to scale. He could have tried for a lower ledge, but no. He has to show off. And look where it gets him.
His grip slipping, Mufasa called up to his brother, "Pull me up dumbass!"
Scar slammed his claws into Mufasa's paws. Well what did he expect? A hand?
Scar leaned in close and began to whisper, "Hey, if you don't pull through this, can I have your room?"
Mufasa fell from his brother's grasp and disappeared under the hooves and dust.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Simba screamed.
He ran down into the gorge as the wildebeest cleared. Yeah, NOW they do. If only they could have finished two seconds quicker-.
"Dad?" Simba called out. No answer.
Then he sees a body lying under the now broken twig Simba once clung to. Striding lightly over to it, Simba nudged the lifeless body. He crawled under the mighty arm and cried. Scar walked up and gasped.
"Damn! As if it weren't bad enough to have a dead brother. I have a necrophiliac for a nephew!"
Simba jumped up, "No, there were wildebeest and he tried to save me. It was an accident. I-I didn't mean for it to happen."
"Oh, yeah, of course you didn't! You just couldn't wait to be king could you?"
"The song was 'I just Can't Wait to Eat Your Spleen' not 'I Just Can't Wait to be King'." Simba replied.
Scar sniffed in retort. "Get out of my sight, necrophiliac murderer. Or I'll tell your mother."
Simba became angry, "You can't talk to me that way! As of right now, I am king!"
"Oh really?" Scar asked slyly, "What about your little secret?"
"What secret?"
"Oh, you know, THE secret." Scar said then wobbled his paw from side to side.
"I am NOT a homosexual!" And with that, Simba scampered off to never come back.
The hyenas came up behind Scar at that moment. Scar turned to them, "You said it was surprise! Not a murder!"
"Well, I think a murder is a big surprise." Shitsi said.
"C'mon ol' Scar," Popeye said putting his paw on his shoulder, "at least now you can be king. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Holy crap! You are right! The throne is mine!"
"And don't forget the hunnies!"
"Hmm, this might not be so bad after all." Scar said stroking his chin.
"Oh, I guess we should go chase the kid now." Shitsi piped up.
"oh yeah, that's right. Let's go. See ya' Scar!" Popeye called back as they pranced off after Simba.
~~~Further down the gorge~~~
Simba came to a wall, a dead end. He heard growls from behind. The hyena trio cornered him.
"Geez, I knew I'd be gang raped one day," Simba said out loud.
"Naw, dats yo' momma, bitch." Shitsi retorted.
"Oooooooo," the others backed up.
"Oh yeah? Well, yo' momma's so fat she can see a sunrise and set at the same time!" Simba snapped back.
"Oooooooo," the others called.
Shitsi didn't like that. "Yo' momma's so ugly, she don't hafta kill her prey, they die of fright!" Shitsi replied.
"Tell yo' momma to stop wearing lipstick when I come over. I'm getting rainbow rings on my dick!"
"Man, dat's old!" Shitsi complained.
"Not as old as yo' momma!" Simba shot back.
Shitsi lunged at Simba, but he scrambled through a crack in the wall and went tumbling down a hill. Then flew off a plateau and landed in a briar patch.
Popeye wasn't able to stopped and got knocked in after him. Flying back out like a typical cartoon character, he jumped back out.
As he sat there pulling thorns out his ass, Shitsi called out to the cub not to ever come back.
"Or we'll chop of your little Rafiki!" Popeye added.
Shitsi stared at him.
"What?" Popeye asked.
"Cut off his little Rafiki?"
"Okay, so I didn't know what else to say."
"How about 'or we'll kill ya'?"
"Or that, yes."
Sighing, Shitsi turned back, "Yeah, I'll leave you to the Rafiki cutting offing."
"Shut up! I panicked!"
And the three skittered back to the Pride Lands. Their new home.
~~~~Oh no!~~~~
A.N. : I think I went too long with this one. I just didn't know a good place to cut it off. I honestly don't think this chapter was as good as the others. I'll try to do better on the next ones. Thanks to my fans (all-four?). I am kinda sleepy.. Need a nap- -_- Zzz. R n R please and THANK YOU, COME AGAIN.
Disclaimer: Doo bee doo bee doooo. TLK don't belong to me, nor you..
~~~~Elephant Graveyard~~~~
"Man, that lousy Mufasa. He just had to touch my ass didn't he? I knew there was something about him." Popeye squatted with slashes all over his poop chute.
Ed sat reading the National Enquirer in the corner. He looked up from his articles, "Well he DOES come running every time we get into the kingdom. He acts like he's mad, but we know the real reason. I mean, he wasn't swiping at us, he was trying to 'wrestle'."
"It's not funny Ed." Popeye growled.
"Do you see me giggling like some idiot?" Ed snapped.
"GRRRRR," Popeye leapt onto Ed and tore at his face.
Ed with his extensive knowledge of the martial arts, pulled some Tai Kwon Do on him and sent a swift kick to Popeye's little Banzai. Crouched in pain, Popeye limped over to the corner.
"Would you two knock it off?!" Shitsi yelled.
"We did! Geez, pay attention bitch!" Popeye snapped back.
"I was too busy wid' yo' momma!"
Ed moaned, "I am surrounded by idiots."
Scar jumped up onto the perch above the gol damn dirty sons of bitches (aka the hyenas), "I brought you some food though I don't think I should give it to you."
"Then why did you bring it up, Fruitcake?" Shitsi barked.
"I practically gift wrapped those cubs for you. And you couldn't even dispose of them!" Scar moaned dangling the meat above them.
"Screw this! Just jump him!" Popeye leapt up and snapped the zebra leg from Scar. Shitsi nipped Scar's tail. Ed Karate chopped him in the trachea.
Chowing down on the leg, Shitsi spoke up, "Well, if Mufasa would quit dry humpin' us maybe we could get closer to killing 'those cubs'. It's like that damn lion stalks us, waiting for a dark alley to come along then BAM! Major pain in the ass (no pun intended)."
"Yeah what are we supposed to do? Kill Mufasa?" Popeye added.
"WHAT?! KILL MY OWN BROTHER? Sakes alive! Why would I do that?!" Scar gasped hold his paw to his chest.
"Well, you wanna be king don't you?" Popeye asked.
"Yes." Scar replied.
"Well, all it takes is a little push off Pride Rock-." Shitsi hinted.
"NO! I would rather just embarrass him a lot." Scar confessed, "And I think I have the perfect plan. Who has a camera?"
"Huh?" The hyenas lifted their gaze to the scheming Not King.
Scar jumped down bouncing around like Simba on crack. Music kicked up.
"Oh great," The hyenas mumbled, "Now he's gonna sing. What's wrong with explaining in a normal conversation?"
Scar: I know that he cowers in humiliation. That he gets wet from a wart hog's backside. But as sick that is-LIKE URINATION-My word, he makes me wanna hide. It's clear that he likes he own bacon. He likes to walk 'round naked upstairs. But we're talking of his own sick intentions-Even YOU can be caught in your underwear!
The hyenas look at each other and roll their eyes.
Scar continues: So prepare the glance of a lifetime-Be prepared for sensational views. The queen, you can hear her. She's tiptoeing nearer.
Shitsi mumbles unenthused: And where do we feature?
Scar: Just listen, you creature. I know it sounds morbid, but you'll be rewarded 'cause the king has a thing for derrieres. Then he will come out in his underwear-YOU'LL BE SCARED!
Popeye: Yeah sure be scared-for what?
Scar: For the sight of the king in his ladies undergarments!
Popeye: Geez! Is he sick or something?
Scar: No, fool. But he is too big for them! Sarabi is too. But she likes it when he wears her "unmentionables".
Shitsi whispered sidelong to the others: I'd go with sick.
Scar: We will film it and he'll be so embarrassed, he'll run away!
Shitsi: Yeah, who needs a king?
P/S: No king, no king, tra la la la la la!
Scar: Idiots! There will be a Queen!
Popeye: Hey, you just said-
Scar: I will be Queen! And I will rule the kingdom! All will tremble before my wrath!
Shitsi (whispering): did he just say 'queen'?
Popeye: Just go along with it. I guess it must run in the family.
Hyenas suddenly pop outta nowhere and start dancing and singing. (How did they all know the words? Was there a rehearsal I was unaware of?)
Hyenas: It's great that he'll soon be rejected, and impeached for his sexual deals.
Scar: Of course, this all goes I'll be expected. To teach my bro how it feels.. To be expelled just for being younger; I never even gotta single chance to see, I cannot stand it any longer-I'm tired of him getting more pussy than me! (Cat that is.)
Scar/Hyenas: You'll be scared of the poop of this monarch
Scar: You'll be scared 'cause it smells like ham
Hyenas:(Poooooooo la la la)
Scar: It's squishy and smelly and feels like grape jelly
Hyenas:(he will poo lots of poo)
Scar: Piles and piles is simply while I'll-
Hyenas:(we repeat-smells like feeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
Scar: Sneak around undetected they poop-I'm respected
Hyenas:(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
Scar: And the king won't even know we were there.
Hyenas:(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!)
Scar: Yes, the king will come out in his wife's underwear-
Hyenas:(ah ah ah ah ah!)
Scar: YOU'LL BE SCARED!
S/H: Yes, the king will be seen in his underwear! WE'LL BE SCARED!
Scar laughs maniacally and lopes off to put his plan into motion.
Popeye, Shitsi, and Ed all look at each other and say in unison, "Kill him."
"He doesn't actually expect THAT to be affective does he?" Popeye asks.
"Indubitably," Ed replies, "He does. I honestly do not think brains and intellect were passed out at all in that family. It seems our fellow feline has a thing for peering at others with a serious psychological chemical imbalancement. Maybe he only cries out for attention and only receives rejection. A dark void where love should have been. Mother held him too much or not enough. To quote Louis XIV-"
Ed sees the others staring at him blankly. Sighing again in defeat, he slobers all over and giggles stupidly.
"Right! We should start a stampede." Popeye agreed.
"All right then. Let's ride!" Shitsi exclaims.
Popeye and Ed glare at her.
"Uh, yee haw?"
They continue to glare.
"Let's crank dis' mo' fo'?"
Glares.
"Oh never mind. Let's just go to the friggin' gorge.
~~~The next day~~~ Boy, that sounds ominous doesn't it?
Scar walks up to the hyena trio who are eyeing a wildebeest herd.
"Okay, I've got the camera and tripod set up. Now all we need is a clear shot of the king."
The hyenas glance at each other and roll there eyes.
"Uh, yeah, sure boss. But, uh, one more thing before we do that." Shitsi said.
"Really? What?" Scar asked.
Popeye stepped forward, "We need you to bring Simba here and put him down there under that tree." He pointed to the bottom of the gorge.
Scar looks down, "Um, okay. Why?"
Shitsi thinks, "It's a, uh, surprise! Yeah, something for Mufasa and Simba. So when you get Simba down there, give us a signal THEN go get Mufasa. Got it?"
Scar thinks for a moment, "Hmm, okay. I'll be right back!" and he skips off like a little girl (or runs off like Scott Evil in Goldmember).
The hyenas can't help but laugh.
~~~At the gorge bottom~~~
"Now wait here you little rascal. I'll go get your father who has a marvelous surprise that he didn't want me to tell you about. Oops. Oh, silly me. I seem to always say too much," he held out his paw, "Here, Simba. Give me a smack for being wicked."
"Okay." Simba replies, but then stops with his paw in the air, "Waaaaait a minute-I ain't like that, Uncle."
"Oh, deary me. Sorry. I can be such a naughty kitty sometimes."
Simba raised his eyebrow.
"I'll go get Daddy now." And scar frolicked away.
Simba sat there for a moment before he spied a lizard and began molesting it. (And molest just means pester or abuse.)
"Grrowel luh luh luh," he purred.
~~~Meanwhile, on the top of the gorge~~~
"Hey there's Scar! The dumbass actually did it! Let's go." Shitsi led the way as they scared the wildebeests over the edge.
~~~~Bottom again~~~~
Simba heard the rumbling before he saw the animals. And like an idiot, he waited until they were right behind him before he decided to move his furry ass. He could have just climbed that big tree right next to him, but nooooooo. He has to run-. (I am just worried about that poor lizard. There's no way he could have run fast enough. *sniffles* The movie should have been all about that brave soul. Mr. Lizard, I salute you! o )
Mufasa and his bitch Zazu were pimpin' through the prides when Scar runs up outta breath.
"Mufasa, there's a stampede in the gorge with your ungrateful sperm stuck in the middle!"
"Simba?!" Mufasa raced off toward the rising dust cloud. He didn't hear Scar saying something about the hyenas setting him up.
~~~In the melee~~~
Simba clung to a piddly excuse for a tree with his ass hanging just inches from the horns of the panicked wildebeest. Zazu flew down and called to him, "Simba are you okay?!"
Simba looked back over his shoulder in disbelief, "Yeah, I've got it under control. Don't bother trying to get help or anything." He replied sarcastically.
Zazu flew back to Mufasa mumbling under his breath, "Rotten little shit."
Mufasa and Scar slid down to a ledge, "Where is he Zazu?!" Mufasa yelled to him.
"Oh how should I know? He has everything under control anyway. Leave him be."
Scar bitch slapped Zazu into the wall where he was knocked unconscious.
Mufasa leapt into the stampede where he was knocked around like a pinball. Simba slapped his forehead with his palm, "Geez, Dad. Come on. You're supposed to have cat-like speedy reflexes." (Tommy Boy)
Finally, after get beat up so much he has little pikachus running circles around his head, Mufasa stumbled on over like a drunk monkey to the twig Simba was clinging to.
But then a wildebeest crashed into the tree and Simba went flying.
"Awww," Mufasa moaned, "shit."
He leapt high into the air like Michael Jordon and caught the airborn cub in the air in his mouth. Unfortunately, he opened too wide and swallowed Simba. Damn. That has to suck. Don't you just hate it when you eat your own young?
Jumping up and clinging to a ledge, Mufasa regurgitated the kid as Scar ran up.
"Holy crap, Mufasa! Who's balls have you been licking?!"
Before he could answer, Mufasa was knocked back into the stampede. So much for the king's "loyal subjects". Yeah, sorry your highness, but we're trying to save our own asses here.
Scar scurried off higher to get a better view. Simba came back to consciousness and began frantically searching for his father in the horns and dust. Mufasa leapt up and started climbing the most difficult spot to scale. He could have tried for a lower ledge, but no. He has to show off. And look where it gets him.
His grip slipping, Mufasa called up to his brother, "Pull me up dumbass!"
Scar slammed his claws into Mufasa's paws. Well what did he expect? A hand?
Scar leaned in close and began to whisper, "Hey, if you don't pull through this, can I have your room?"
Mufasa fell from his brother's grasp and disappeared under the hooves and dust.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Simba screamed.
He ran down into the gorge as the wildebeest cleared. Yeah, NOW they do. If only they could have finished two seconds quicker-.
"Dad?" Simba called out. No answer.
Then he sees a body lying under the now broken twig Simba once clung to. Striding lightly over to it, Simba nudged the lifeless body. He crawled under the mighty arm and cried. Scar walked up and gasped.
"Damn! As if it weren't bad enough to have a dead brother. I have a necrophiliac for a nephew!"
Simba jumped up, "No, there were wildebeest and he tried to save me. It was an accident. I-I didn't mean for it to happen."
"Oh, yeah, of course you didn't! You just couldn't wait to be king could you?"
"The song was 'I just Can't Wait to Eat Your Spleen' not 'I Just Can't Wait to be King'." Simba replied.
Scar sniffed in retort. "Get out of my sight, necrophiliac murderer. Or I'll tell your mother."
Simba became angry, "You can't talk to me that way! As of right now, I am king!"
"Oh really?" Scar asked slyly, "What about your little secret?"
"What secret?"
"Oh, you know, THE secret." Scar said then wobbled his paw from side to side.
"I am NOT a homosexual!" And with that, Simba scampered off to never come back.
The hyenas came up behind Scar at that moment. Scar turned to them, "You said it was surprise! Not a murder!"
"Well, I think a murder is a big surprise." Shitsi said.
"C'mon ol' Scar," Popeye said putting his paw on his shoulder, "at least now you can be king. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Holy crap! You are right! The throne is mine!"
"And don't forget the hunnies!"
"Hmm, this might not be so bad after all." Scar said stroking his chin.
"Oh, I guess we should go chase the kid now." Shitsi piped up.
"oh yeah, that's right. Let's go. See ya' Scar!" Popeye called back as they pranced off after Simba.
~~~Further down the gorge~~~
Simba came to a wall, a dead end. He heard growls from behind. The hyena trio cornered him.
"Geez, I knew I'd be gang raped one day," Simba said out loud.
"Naw, dats yo' momma, bitch." Shitsi retorted.
"Oooooooo," the others backed up.
"Oh yeah? Well, yo' momma's so fat she can see a sunrise and set at the same time!" Simba snapped back.
"Oooooooo," the others called.
Shitsi didn't like that. "Yo' momma's so ugly, she don't hafta kill her prey, they die of fright!" Shitsi replied.
"Tell yo' momma to stop wearing lipstick when I come over. I'm getting rainbow rings on my dick!"
"Man, dat's old!" Shitsi complained.
"Not as old as yo' momma!" Simba shot back.
Shitsi lunged at Simba, but he scrambled through a crack in the wall and went tumbling down a hill. Then flew off a plateau and landed in a briar patch.
Popeye wasn't able to stopped and got knocked in after him. Flying back out like a typical cartoon character, he jumped back out.
As he sat there pulling thorns out his ass, Shitsi called out to the cub not to ever come back.
"Or we'll chop of your little Rafiki!" Popeye added.
Shitsi stared at him.
"What?" Popeye asked.
"Cut off his little Rafiki?"
"Okay, so I didn't know what else to say."
"How about 'or we'll kill ya'?"
"Or that, yes."
Sighing, Shitsi turned back, "Yeah, I'll leave you to the Rafiki cutting offing."
"Shut up! I panicked!"
And the three skittered back to the Pride Lands. Their new home.
~~~~Oh no!~~~~
A.N. : I think I went too long with this one. I just didn't know a good place to cut it off. I honestly don't think this chapter was as good as the others. I'll try to do better on the next ones. Thanks to my fans (all-four?). I am kinda sleepy.. Need a nap- -_- Zzz. R n R please and THANK YOU, COME AGAIN.