Resurrection
by Samantha
Summary: If I say too much, I'll give away the major plot. But here's a little tidbit to whet your appetites: Things aren't what they seem.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I am borrowing them, just for fun. :)
Note: A couple of songs inspired this story while I was trying to rack my brain for ideas (I actually had the sequel pretty much planned out before the first part). Their names are "Home to Stay" and " To Where You Are". Both of these songs are sung by Josh Groban. They'll pop in the story when they're relevant.
Jarod felt the wind blow through his hair. He smiled as he thought, I'm glad I put the top down. He let his mind roam as he drove the stretching country roads.
His mind fell on an event that happened exactly two years ago. Suddenly, he was back in that torturous night.
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"It's Miss Parker. She's killed herself, Jarod." Those words echoed in Jarod's head as his breath left him in a rush. He sank to his knees and whispered, "No! It can't be!"
Sydney's sobs on the other end confirmed what he so desperately wanted to deny. Harsh sobs racked his frame as he cried with Sydney. He had tried to help Parker out, but she turned him away as only she could.
Jarod managed to whisper, "Thanks, Syd." Then he hung up the phone. He didn't sleep the rest of the night. He just cried.
The next day, Jarod managed to get into the funeral home that would be taking care of her. He pretended to be a mortician named Jarod Grieves. When Miss Parker's body arrived the following day, he didn't know if he could make it through the experience.
He did her makeup and hair, paying attention to the minutest detail. He cried as he worked on her.
The night before the funeral, Jarod sketched her face. Her beautiful face.
He watched the burial from afar. If he got too close, the Centre would get him. Would that be so bad? You could be "closer" to her, snickered a nasty voice in his head that had popped up within the last couple of days. He shook his head to get rid of it.
After everyone had left, Jarod walked up to the new grave and laid his picture of her, which he had framed, against the stone. He read the song lyrics that he had written down on the paper once more. He had heard the song the day before and thought it fitting for the occasion.
Who can say for certain? Maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are mine forever, love. And you are watching over me from up above.
Fly Me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for awhile to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping Here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen. As my heart holds you Just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me Everyday. 'Cause you are mine forever, love Watching me from up above. And I believe that angels breathe, And that love will live on and never leave.
Fly Me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for awhile to you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there, A breath away's not far to where you are.
Love, J.
Jarod walked away from the fresh mound of dirt with tears still streaming down his cheeks.
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Jarod shuddered as he remembered all he went through. For the first year after Parker's suicide, he couldn't handle it. He stopped going on pretends, he stopped contacting Sydney.
Sydney was the one to make the contact. He had been scared that Jarod would commit suicide as well.
He almost did. One night, after one too many glasses of whiskey, he sat in the bathtub in his hotel with a razorblade in his hand. He had pressed it to his wrist when he broke down in tears.
That night was the turning point in his behavior. Jarod realized he had so much to live for. He was so close to finding his mother. He had already found most of his family. He just couldn't do it. As much as he wanted to be with Parker, he wanted his family more.
After the night in the tub, Jarod started calling Sydney again. He still had tough times and a couple of suicidal tendencies.
But two years after her death, Jarod was finally through the grieving process. He still missed Parker, and he grieved for her as well, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it.
Jarod sighed as he pulled over at a gas station to fill up his tank. While he had been thinking of his progress, he'd reached a small to medium sized town. He had decided to take a vacation in Kentucky. He wouldn't pretend while he was here, he had told himself. He didn't know exactly where in Kentucky he was going. He figured he'd just stop somewhere and stay.
There were three reasons for this trip. One was because he had spent one year sober. During his bad year, he'd become an alcoholic. The second was to celebrate one year being alive. The third was the two year anniversary of Miss Parker's death.
Jarod got out of the car and started the process of pumping gas. He popped a cherry Pez, his first one in ages, and produced a smile that hadn't been on his face in two years. While he put gas in the car, he remembered the last night he saw Parker.
It had been a stormy night. In fact, it was the night before Parker took the pills. She had somehow found out where he was at and paid a visit. She walked into his room soaking wet and slammed the door shut. Even though her face was covered in rain drops, he could tell she was crying as well. She had said, "I'm so tired, Jarod." As had been the norm for months, his heart broke when he saw her like that. Then she said something that stuck in his mind for two years.
"Never forget me, Jarod." He now realized that then he kind of knew what she was going to do. Before she left, Parker walked over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. Jarod had kept his eyes closed until he'd heard the slamming of his hotel room door.
Other lines, from another song he'd heard ran through his head as he stood at the pump.
I know you're gone, I watched you leave. I always thought That it was me. You made it clear with that last kiss, You couldn't live a life with "Maybes" and "What Ifs".
And now I know why you had to go alone, Isn't there a place between?
Reach out to me, Call out my name, And I would bring you back again today.
The whole song was about a girl leaving a guy because she needed space. But those few verses perfectly described Jarod's feelings about the situation. Miss Parker had to do it alone. She couldn't let him wallow in her depression. Still, Jarod sometimes felt a little hurt that she couldn't confide in him. You would have tried to convince her not to do it. She wanted the control, the voice whispered. He and his voice got along just fine nowadays. It was like his own "inner sense".
Jarod had paid the clerk inside and started his car when this train of thought ended. He decided to drive around town for a while. He had a feeling that this might be the town for him to stay in. The people seemed so nice.
Jarod parked at a candy store in the middle of town. He wanted to search for something new to get hooked on. He still loved Pez, but the continuity of it grew old. He was amazed at all the possible choices available! Finally, Jarod decided on Whoppers and Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. He couldn't wait to try these new delights.
He walked out the door of the store and began to open his carton of Whoppers. Jarod casually looked up. Then he saw her.
Miss Parker?
Jarod squatted beside the bushes in the alleyway and watched the woman that captured his attention. She was tall and fairly slender. She wore faded boot cut jeans and a red boatneck long-sleeved tee. Her hair was different. It was long, hanging a few inches past her shoulders, black, and curly. She was walking a clumsy black lab, struggling to keep it under control.
"Parker!" Jarod heard a young voice cry out. The woman turned around and smiled. The child who had yelled looked like he was going to the woman, but instead he tackled the lovable lab. Jarod sighed. The dog's name was Parker. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd seen that woman before.
Jarod followed her. In reality, he didn't know why he was doing it. But the voices in his head were practically screaming to go after her. He followed discreetly, and ended up at what appeared to be her house.
The mystery woman lived on a sprawling plot of land, in what looked like to be a two-story rust-colored brick house. Jarod could see stables and hear horses nickering in the distance.
He studied the house. It was very homey-looking. The style was distinctly Southern, with the big wrap-around front porch filled with seemingly comfortable rocking chairs. Tall, shady trees peppered the front yard. Jarod could see plants and flowers nearer to the house. Then he heard the laugh. He knew that laugh.
Against his promise to himself, Jarod knew he had to pretend. If this woman wasn't Miss Parker, he could simply be a lost tourist. If she was, Jarod would have no need to pretend.
He walked up to the big white front door and knocked. No one answered. Jarod tried to open the door and found it unlocked. He stepped into the foyer and was immediately awed by the decoration. Warm earth tones, like tans and berry colors, covered the walls and area rugs.
Jarod heard the laugh again, this time more like a giggle, through the screen door that led to the back yard. He crept stealthily to the door and went into the back yard. He was at a loss once more, but this time because of the scene he was viewing.
The woman who looked like Miss Parker was chasing a crawling child. The child would stop every once in awhile, look at the woman, giggle and coo, and then go back to crawling. The Miss Parker look-alike would laugh when the baby would do this. Everytime Jarod heard the laugh, his breath caught in his throat.
The lady, apparently tired of the chasing game, ran, picked up the child, and swung her back and forth in one fluid movement. The look-alike stared into the child's eyes and spoke baby talk for a few moments before she noticed Jarod's presence.
Their eyes met. The mystery woman slowly walked up to the stranger. She adjusted the baby to her hip and continued walking. When she got closer, Jarod inhaled sharply. The woman stopped. A long pause hung in the air between them.
With tears in her eyes, the woman whispered, "Jarod?" He let out his breath in a shuddering sigh. He nodded. She moved closer until Jarod could see her face. There, on her cheek, was a tiny silver scar, left by a man who had seemingly destroyed her life.
"Parker," Jarod choked out. She didn't say anything. She just walked past Jarod and into the kitchen. Jarod followed without saying a word. He watched as she placed the child in a high chair and got out some baby food from the pantry. She had begun feeding the child when Jarod asked, "You are Miss Parker, right?"
She didn't say anything, but Jarod saw the tear that slid down her cheek. He nodded to himself. After still no reply, he pulled up a chair and sat down, waiting for her to speak.
"Jarod," she began, "I don't even know how to explain. I didn't think you would find me," Parker spoke quietly.
"I wasn't trying. It was all by chance," whispered Jarod. Their eyes met. Miss Parker visibly started when she saw the tears in his eyes. The baby had fallen asleep in the chair, so Parker wiped her hands on her jeans and walked over to Jarod. She sat down, knee to knee with him.
"I'm sorry if I...if I hurt you, Jarod." He scoffed slightly and replied bitterly, "We all hurt for you, Parker. Me, Sydney, Broots, Debbie, Angelo, and even Lyle showed some remorse." He was immediately sorry for the way he said the words. Parker flinched and then protested, "But I had to! You don't understand." Jarod caught her hands with his and rubbed them tenderly.
"It's okay, Parker. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It's just, I grieved. For so long, I've grieved." Parker nodded.
"How did you do it? Why did you do it?" asked Jarod curiously. Parker smiled a little when his pretender side came out. She drew a deep breath and began.
"Well, it all started sometime during my first month back at the Centre after the rape. I thought I'd been doing better, but my dreams started coming back. After several weeks, I just couldn't take it. I had to tell someone, someone other than you." Parker looked apologetically towards Jarod. He shrugged his shoulders in understanding, so she went on.
"So, I told Sydney. About that time, I started getting sick every day. And my moods seemed to fluctuate often, without any rhyme or reason. I had heard the little whisperings in my head, my 'inner sense', telling me what the cause was, but I didn't believe them. I took a test and trusted that. I had become pregnant, Jarod." She waited as the look of surprise wore off. Jarod looked at Parker, then at the sleeping infant in the high chair. Parker nodded.
"Soon, I found out that the Centre had discovered I was pregnant. And, I found that as soon as the baby was born, I would end up like Mamma. They would take the baby and kill me. I couldn't let that happen to my child." Parker paused and wiped some tears from her cheeks.
"So, I devised a plan. Only Angelo knew of it. The Centre had been developing a new sedative. It is so powerful, that the recipient appears to be dead. And the beauty of this product is that it changes with the chemicals from the human body to appear like traces of--guess what-- sleeping pills." Understanding dawned in Jarod's eyes.
"I knew I would only have a limited time, so I started to embezzle tons of money from Centre offshore accounts. I now have the funds kept in nice little anonymous boxes in various banks all over the world. I used that money to secure the land and the construction for this house. And that was only a mere fraction of the total that I stole from the Centre." Both Jarod and Miss Parker smiled wickedly at her revenge.
"When my pregnancy started to show, I knew it was time. I started behaving erratically and made up dreams. I had to keep up the act at all times. It was hard, especially for that last visit. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to ask you to come with me? But I knew I couldn't. That would endanger my child, and that would endanger you. You never could have been involved." Parker looked into his eyes for a moment.
"I made sure Sydney would prescribe me sleeping pills so I could have the bottle handy when the time came. On the big night, I acted like I'd had a terrible dream and couldn't go back to sleep. Then I took the bottle and poured all the pills in my right hand. I'd already palmed the super- sedative in my left hand. I took that one first, and then one real sleeping pill. The rest of the pills that I took had nothing in them. I needed to keep up the illusion that I was actually committing suicide in case any Sweepers were watching." She stopped to take a drink of water.
"Angelo had a 'friend' on the grounds keeping team at the cemetery. So after the funeral, I was dug up and a dummy was put in my place. It took me about two days to come out of...well, basically a coma. I'd had Angelo tape the funeral. He also had a camera in the mortician's room." Jarod sighed.
"I saw...you. I think I cried as hard as you did. It hurt me to see you hurting like that. And it ripped my heart out that I did that to you. But I had to do it. To save my baby and me." Jarod nodded his understanding.
"I saw this place as a great location for families. So I...for lack of a better word...'pretended' to be a widow. I wore all my new black clothes and a plain wedding ring. I started out with just a couple of horses, but now I'm a major breeder in this region of Kentucky." Parker sniffed. Jarod placed his hands over hers and whispered, "Your mother would have been proud. You got out of there. Successfully." He looked back to the sleeping child and asked, "What's her name?" Parker smiled.
"Catherine. Catherine Marie Russell." Jarod's mouth dropped slightly at the use of the last name that was made up for him at the Centre. He didn't think she'd remembered. He moved his mouth for a bit, but made no sound.
Parker gave a low chuckle and explained, "It just felt right. That was the only last name I was given for you. And you gave me the courage to get out of the Centre." Jarod, who was speechless, simply nodded.
Miss Parker stood up from her chair, took her water glass and the baby spoon, and walked over to the kitchen sink to rinse them off. After she'd placed them on the counter, she asked, "Want to stay for supper?" Jarod looked at the clock. It said it was about three.
"Sure. I need to make hotel arrangements, first." Parker quickly shook her head and said, "No, no, no. You'll stay here. For free. I know it can't make up for all the hurt I've caused you, but maybe it could be a start." Jarod smiled at her insistence and nodded his agreement. Parker's face glowed with her pleased smile.
She tip-toed to her sleeping daughter, picked her up carefully, and headed for the upstairs. Jarod silently followed. Once inside the child's room, he was in awe of the decorations. The walls were painted a warm yellow and the ceiling was white. The border along the middle of the wall was of moons and stars. The hardwood floor had a slight bleached look to it. The baby's crib was made of white wood and had bedding that matched the border. A mobile that consisted of moons and stars and played Moonlight Sonata hung over the top of the crib. The changing table matched the crib, as did the dresser. What caught Jarod's attention was the rocking chair.
On one wall, there was a big bay window. The space it created almost made a room of its own. The rocking chair sat in the middle of that space, facing parallel to the window. The chair itself really was nothing spectacular. It was a simple, white wooden chair. But it had character. He could tell just by looking at it that a mother rocked her child there every night. Jarod closed his eyes and could see Miss Parker holding the child, looking into her daughter's eyes as she sang a soothing lullaby.
"I bought that rocking chair before Catherine was born. She would stay up kicking me, late at night. Every night. So, I would sit in this chair and rock gently until she fell asleep. I sang to her, then and now. The song has always been "Lullaby" by Billy Joel. It never fails. Twenty minutes and bam, she's out." Parker smiled. Jarod opened his eyes and returned the smile. Their smiles faded after a few moments.
They stood there, staring silently at each other for a long time. Miss Parker swallowed hard and whispered, "I'd better get started on supper." She quickly left the room, leaving Jarod alone. He sat down in the rocker and closed his eyes in pain. When will it ever be right again? he wondered to himself.
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Miss Parker tossed the onions she had just chopped up into the spaghetti sauce and wiped her eyes. Her tears weren't caused by the onions, but by the circumstances she now found herself in.
The last thing she expected was to see Jarod in her backyard. Her life had been perfect over the past two years. No, insisted a good-natured voice, you've been missing one thing.
"Shut up," she muttered, the old Parker coming out. The voices didn't even warn her of Jarod's arrival. Funny joke, she thought to herself. She stirred the sauce with a wooden spoon with one hand and turned down the noodles with the other. Then she added sugar to the tea pitcher and set the table in the breakfast nook.
She heaped more than enough noodles on both plates and gave generous amounts of sauce to each setting. She filled the glasses with ice and then tea. No sooner had she put them down, when she heard Jarod moving upstairs. Parker sighed and wiped the last few tears from her eyes. She set about cleaning up the mess she'd made on the stove while she had the time.
Jarod came down the stairs to see Parker scrubbing the stove. He stood at the landing and simply observed her. She had changed into gray drawstring pants and a white tee. Her black mass of curls had been pulled back into a loose ponytail. A few tendrils had escaped and curled even tighter because of the heat from the stove. Underneath Jarod, the floor creaked. Parker turned around and gave a small smile. Her cheeks were flushed, probably from the stove as well. Jarod's heart leapt in his chest. He couldn't get over how beautiful she was.
Parker sat down at the table, and Jarod followed suit. His scrutinizing gaze made her uncomfortable. Why was he staring at her? She looked down at her plate and began to eat, not really tasting what she made.
"Parker, this is delicious!" exclaimed Jarod. Parker looked up and laughed at the surprised look on his face. She cocked an eyebrow and asked, "Didn't know I could cook, did ya?" Jarod shook his head negatively, so she pretended like she was insulted.
"That hurts, Jarod. It really does. After all I've done for you. I took you in, gave you a place to stay, and cooked for you. And what do you do? Honestly, you've never learned about being a houseguest, have you?" The glint in Parker's eyes was too much for Jarod. He covered his mouth and laughed heartily. Parker teased incessantly until they both were in tears and clutching their stomachs.
"Oh!" gasped Jarod. He quieted down some, but his shoulders still shook. He sighed and finally caught his breath. Parker shook her head and said, "That'll teach you to question me. I'm a different woman, Jarod."
"You have changed, Parker. Two years ago, you wouldn't have been caught dead in the clothes you wear now." She sighed and stated, "I needed a new persona. I was a 'widow' and a mother-to-be. I couldn't be wearing designer leather mini skirts. When I first got these clothes, I hated them. But now, I love them. I still have some professional looking outfits, for meetings with buyers and such, but I like my down-to-earth appearance." Me too. The thought shocked Jarod to silence for a few seconds. He started to eat his meal again. He needed something to distract him from his recent thoughts.
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Jarod helped Miss Parker clear the table. While he went to use the bathroom, she started the dish water. She had gotten half of the glasses finished when Jarod came back out. He picked up a towel and began to dry them. Parker looked at Jarod and said, "Go to your room and rest. I don't need any help." He genuinely smiled and replied, "Oh, but I want to help." She shrugged while rinsing another glass and let him go on.
"Why curls?" Parker heard Jarod ask. She turned to look at him. He raised his eyebrows innocently and explained, "I was just wondering, why curls. In your hair."
"Well," Parker began, "I don't really know why. I needed to change my hair. It had been straight all of my life, so I tried curly. I've stuck with it ever since." She smiled sleepily at Jarod. His heart jumped a little. He didn't know why he found her more attractive now.
Jarod shook his head slightly and concentrated on drying a glass. The two did the rest of the dishes in a comfortable silence. Once all the dishes had been put away and the surfaces had been wiped off, a weary Miss Parker headed for the upstairs because Catherine had begun to cry.
"Parker, let me," insisted Jarod, "You're worn out." Parker, who normally shrugged off help, simply nodded and walked like a zombie into the den. Jarod smiled and walked up to Catherine's room.
Catherine's cries ceased as Jarod lifted her out of the crib. He changed her dirty diaper and took her into the playroom across the hall. He put her down on the floor and sat beside her. The two began playing like they were best friends.
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Miss Parker heard from downstairs the cooing and laughter taking place upstairs. She had been listening to it for about an hour. She got up from the sofa and walked upstairs barefoot. She took a peek into the playroom, and her heart was warmed by what she saw.
Jarod and Catherine were apparently having crawling races across the playroom floor. Catherine was energetic for having slept only until five, and then playing for an hour. Parker smiled, then stretched. She tip-toed down the hall into her bathroom. She drew a tubful of steaming water and poured vanilla-scented bubble bath in.
Parker turned on the radio to her favorite radio station. In the evenings, a DJ came on that took requests and dedications and played soothing songs. She lit her twenty vanilla candles and turned off the lights. After closing the door, Parker stepped out of her clothes and stepped into the soothing water. She leaned her head back against the headrest and moaned softly with pleasure once she was fully in the steaming hot water.
Parker soaked for a good thirty minutes, relaxing her aching bones. Slowly, she went under. She stayed there while holding her breath, enjoying the heat of the water. About a minute later, she resurfaced and sighed. She closed her eyes and basked in the warmth.
An hour later, Parker was still soaking. The water was still hot, thanks to a heater she'd had installed in the tub. Suddenly, she heard noises in her bedroom. Then she heard the bathroom door open. She turned to the doorway and gasped.
Jarod's face reddened instantly. He stuttered, "M-Miss Parker, I-I didn't mean to--"
"It's all right, Jarod," murmured Parker. She kept her head down, but slowly lifted her eyes to meet Jarod's. He swallowed hard and tried to calm his racing heart. He whispered, "I'll go."
Parker watched him scramble out of the bathroom. She chuckled. He was so funny when he got flustered. And you become very seductive when you get tired, Parker, a voice nagged lightly. She sighed and climbed out of the tub. She wrapped her damp hair in a towel and put on her white terrycloth robe. Parker drained the tub, took her hair out of the towel, and rubbed it vigorously. Then she raked her hands through her thick mass of curls.
Parker walked out into the hall to check on Catherine. Sure enough, she was sound asleep in her crib. Jarod must have worn her out, she thought to herself.
"She played hard, today," rumbled Jarod's deep voice. She turned around to see Jarod leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets. They both smiled and he whispered, "Good night, Parker." She nodded and watched as Jarod left the baby's room. She stood there for a few minutes longer, then pulled her robe tighter around her and walked into her own room.
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Miss Parker hurried down the hall into Catherine's room. She had been awakened by her child's cries in the middle of the night. After she picked up Catherine, Parker unbuttoned the top buttons of her sleep shirt and allowed her daughter to latch on.
Even though Catherine was a year old, Parker still nursed. She'd been trying to wean her daughter from it, but Catherine just wasn't ready yet. Parker walked over to the rocking chair and sat down, gazing out at the starry night. Then she looked into her daughter's eyes as Catherine sucked hungrily. Parker smiled softly.
Jarod watched this scene from the doorway, where he was unseen. He saw how Parker lovingly fed her daughter. For reasons he couldn't understand, tears began to fill his eyes. His heart felt like it was being tugged by many little strings that were tugging in the same direction. But Jarod didn't know if he was ready to move in that direction.
He looked away as Miss Parker shifted the baby from her right side to her left. She still amazed him. Jarod hadn't thought he would ever see Miss Parker breast-feeding her child. He just didn't expect it.
He smiled when he heard Catherine coo as she was feeding. But his gaze was on Parker's face. It was bathed in moonlight, filled with the love she contained for her child.
Soon, Miss Parker moved Catherine away long enough for her to button one button on her shirt. She gently wiped her daughter's mouth and began to rock her. Softly, she sang their special lullaby. Parker's voice took Jarod's breath away. It was, by no means, the best voice ever. But it definitely was the voice of a loving mother, soothing her child.
Parker got up slowly and carefully placed a sleeping Catherine in her crib. She smiled to herself as she headed to the door. She stopped in her tracks as she saw Jarod in the doorway. He stepped forward into the moonlight. When she saw the look in his eyes, she stopped breathing. He took another step forward. Although she didn't know it, she stepped toward him as well. They looked into each other's eyes unwaveringly.
During that silent stretch, Parker could hear the heater kick on. Jarod slowly reached out and touched the tiny scar on her cheek. Her lower lip trembled slightly as she unconsciously tilted her head back. As his attention moved downward, so did his head. Their lips met after what seemed like an eternity. It was a long, slow, and sweet kiss. Jarod's hands moved to rest on her hips, while Parker's hands raised to his shoulders.
A few tears slid down her cheeks as the kiss deepened. Jarod pulled her closer to him, while he leaned into her. Parker's back ended up against a wall. He leaned into her just a little more, enjoying her closeness. After a few moments, however, Parker gently pushed Jarod away and covered her mouth with the back of her hand, panting for breath. While he tried to catch his breath as well, Miss Parker broke the silence.
"We...we can't do this, Jarod," she gasped breathlessly. She shook her head and continued, "Not here, not now." His face fell slightly, but he instantly masked that and let her continue.
"I can't. I...I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm ready. Jarod, I haven't even given a man a chance in two years," Parker explained with tears falling down her face. Jarod pulled her into a quick embrace and whispered, "It's okay, Parker. I understand." Then he smiled slightly and walked out of the room.
Parker slowly fell to her knees, covered her face with her hands, and sobbed quietly. Her voices fell silent as she tried to understand why her heart felt like it had been ripped out.
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As the sun touched his face, Jarod opened his eyes and stretched. Over the past month, he had been staying at Miss Parker's. He helped with Catherine, housework, and even ran some errands for her. After that first night, they came to an understanding that only friendship was allowed. For now, came a thought that startled Jarod.
He realized that the house was completely silent. He got out of bed, pulled on some jeans, put on a tee shirt, and walked out into the hall. He noticed that Catherine wasn't in her crib. He went over to Parker's room and knocked.
"Miss Parker?" Jarod asked. No one answered. So he went downstairs and searched, but with no luck. He sighed and poured himself a cup of coffee.
After a few minutes, he heard laughing. Jarod put down his mug and headed into the spacious back yard. He still could hear laughing, but he couldn't see anyone. He headed further out until he reached the fence that separated the yard from the horse grounds. Jarod rested his forearms on the first railing and leaned forward.
Out of nowhere, a sleek black horse shot in front of him. Its speed was incredible! The breeze that followed the horse seconds later gave Jarod chills. The gorgeous animal slowed as its rider tugged on the reins. After the horse had stopped, the rider hopped off with ease. Jarod's breath caught in his throat as he watched a breathless Miss Parker turn around with a huge smile on her face.
"Good morning, Jarod!" she greeted him with a wave. Jarod waved back and asked, "Where did you learn to ride like that?" Parker grinned as she walked over to the fence. When she reached him, she replied, "Experience."
Jarod swallowed hard as he took in her appearance. She was once again wearing faded boot cut jeans. Her shirt was a soft, button-up, red flannel shirt with the front ends tied in a knot. Her thick hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, but several strands had come loose, wreathing her face in messy curls. Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red from all the activity.
"Sorry if we worried you. But it's our monthly run. We exercise all of the horses, in case they haven't really gotten any in the past month," Parker explained breathlessly. Jarod smiled, regaining his composure. He asked, "Where's Catherine?"
"Hey, Joe!" Parker shouted. Soon, a stable hand came out carrying the child in his arms. Her mother smiled and cooed, "There's my girl." Parker took her daughter into her arms and kissed her forehead. Jarod shook his head in amazement. He asked, "You own all this land?"
"Yep," Parker nodded, " all the way down into the valley. You should see it out there. The valley, I mean. It's so beautiful, so lush. The creek, and the trees. It's like a little paradise."
"I'd like that," Jarod murmured. Parker smiled, nodded her head, and stated, "Well, we'll have to go there sometime." She winked and walked back over to Joe. She handed Catherine to the young man, then turned back to Jarod.
"Want to ride?" asked Parker. Jarod grinned and hopped over the fence. She led him into one of the stables and pulled out a gentle-looking, brown mare from her stall.
"This one shouldn't give you any trouble. Maggie's been with me ever since day one." Parker smiled. She then got Maggie saddled up.
"What's the name of the black one you're riding?" asked Jarod as he mounted Maggie. Parker swung herself up on the black and replied, "His name's Luke." She spurred her horse on, and she was off. Jarod shook his head with a smile on his face and headed after her.
The two raced back and forth, giving their horses a good workout. Parker's horse was fast like lightening. Jarod could barely keep up. He could feel his horse tiring, so he slowed to a walk. He settled for watching Parker some more. Because of the speed of her horse, her hair came out of its ponytail, flying loose behind her. Jarod followed her with his eyes as she passed in front of him. His heart stopped for a few beats when she looked at him while she was directly in front of him. The look on her face was pure joy. Her sparkling blue eyes trained on Jarod's warm brown ones. Time seemed to move in slow motion.
Then time sped up again, and Parker was past him. He shook his head slightly, as if to shake away the feelings he was experiencing. All he knew was that something would have to happen between them, or Jarod thought he might go mad.
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Parker relaxed in her patio chair, smiling at her daughter, who was playing in her playpen. The aroma eminating from the grill was mouth-watering. She turned to look at Jarod, who was in the process of flipping a hamburger patty. She sipped her creamy coffee and closed her eyes.
She didn't know how much longer Jarod was planning on staying. Part of her hoped he'd never leave. They had fallen into a comfortable routine. To the outsider, they would appear married. But, came a familiar voice, there are a few key things missing. Parker sighed. Her mother would not leave her alone. Always playing matchmaker.
"Are you all right, Miss Parker?" asked Jarod, who had turned to look at her. She smiled and reassured, "I'm fine, Jarod." He shot her a look and turned back to the grill.
"What?" inquired Parker. Jarod replied, "Oh, nothing." She rolled her eyes and let him be. In the past weeks following their horse races, Jarod's demeanor had changed. It almost seemed like he was flirting with her. When she felt like it, she gave as good as she got.
What Jarod didn't know was that ever since he arrived, Parker cried herself to sleep every night. That she would awake in the early hours of the morning, longing for a warm body beside her. That she felt completely and utterly alone.
He's just right down the hall, Parker. All you have to do is--Parker closed her eyes and shook her head slightly to silence the voice. She wanted...she didn't know what she wanted.
When Parker first moved to Kentucky, she came under the guise of a widow. After the first year, and after she had given birth, men would come on to her. Tastefully, of course. She had many male friends, but she hadn't dated anyone since she'd been raped. One reason was because of the rape. But another reason was that no one made her feel the way someone made her feel a long time ago.
Jarod set a plate in front of Parker, then sat across from her. She picked up her hamburger and took a bite. She closed her eyes and moaned softly.
"Jarod, this burger is exquisite!" she exclaimed. Jarod smiled and nodded his thanks. The two began to eat in silence, not needing to fill in the quiet spaces.
"Parker, why do you think Catherine isn't walking yet?" asked Jarod after about ten minutes. Parker looked over at her daughter, who was now sleeping in the playpen.
"She's stubborn, just like Mommy. She'll walk when she wants to," answered Parker with pride in her voice.
"I must say, I never pictured you being a 'Mommy'," remarked Jarod. Parker saw wonder in those brown eyes of his. She whispered, "I never did, either." Jarod saw tears beginning to glisten in her eyes as she continued, a little louder.
"But then I felt her move inside of me. It was the most wonderful experience I've ever felt. I knew from the beginning that I should keep her, but I fell in love with that first kick. Then, I got to hold her in my arms after only two hours of labor. I swear she made it easy on me. She looked--still looks--exactly like I did at that age. She's perfect." She saw Jarod frown as he asked, "But, wasn't it hard to go through it all alone, Parker?" She sighed, her eyes turning sad.
"Yeah, it was. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Because of the quick labor, I couldn't have an epidural. I also forgot to take Lamaze classes. So, it was very painful. But I got through okay." Jarod mentally winced at the sorrowful look on her face. He wanted so much to hold her until that look was gone. But, he knew he could not.
"Let's go to the valley. Tonight," Parker interrupted Jarod's thoughts. She continued, "I'll get a sitter, and we can ride there in time to catch the sunset." Jarod nodded. Parker clapped her hands excitedly, an action she would never had done back at the Centre. She rushed inside to call the baby- sitter. Jarod cleared the dishes from the patio table and rinsed them off in the sink. Then he went to put on his black leather jacket. He met Miss Parker at the top of the stairs.
"She'll be here in five minutes. Go ahead and pick your horse. Luke's mine," she stated with an excited glimmer in her eyes. Jarod didn't know why she was so excited all of a sudden, but he liked the change in her.
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Parker was right, Jarod thought, this valley is like paradise. He was again on Maggie. He and Parker rode side by side all of the way. She pointed out certain landmarks, like the exercise yards and grazing field.
The valley was totally different from the rest of the landscape. It was like an oasis in the desert. Tall green trees, lush shrubbery, and the babbling brook. Parker dismounted at the beginning of the trees and let Luke graze. Jarod did the same. She sat down on a huge boulder by the creek bed and patted the space beside her, motioning for Jarod to sit down.
They watched the sun slowly set. The sky was ablaze with color. Bright reds, vivid oranges and purples, pale pinks and clear blues. Neither one said a word until only tinges of purple remained at the horizon.
"I'm sorry, Jarod," murmured Parker. He looked at her for a moment.
"Sorry for what?" he asked. She blinked back tears as she replied, "For what I've made you go through the past two years. I don't know how you handled it, but seeing you on tape the night before the funeral broke my heart multiple times." They looked at each other.
"How did you handle it, Jarod?" asked Parker tearfully. He sat for a long time, debating whether or not to tell her the whole truth. He decided.
"Well, it's kind of hard to explain. I cut off all contact with the people I loved. I lost it. I became an alcoholic. I missed you desperately. I wanted to be with you. One night I...I..." Jarod stumbled over the words. Parker's eyes widened as she shook her head slightly. He recomposed himself and went on.
"One night...I tried to kill myself. I didn't actually go through with the attempt. I couldn't. I realized that you were gone. So after that night, I got help from Sydney. I sobered up. That's why I came here. It was the anniversary of one year sober and my first 'rebirth' day. And it was two years without you. I don't even know why I picked Kentucky." Jarod raised his hands, palms up. When he took a good look at Parker, his face fell.
"Parker, Parker, don't cry. Please don't cry." He turned slightly and pulled her into his arms. She sobbed into his shirt. She cried out, "I almost killed you, Jarod!" He shook his head and said calmly, "No, no. I almost killed me. Not you. I let myself get that way. I never blamed you. Not once."
Jarod stroked her hair. He felt her calm down before she pulled away from him to look in his eyes. She searched them. He had no idea what she was looking for. Tears silently fell down her cheeks as she whispered, "I'm so sorry." Jarod placed one of his hands on her cheek, the other on her upper arm. He looked into her eyes as he whispered, "It's not your fault." He softly traced her lips with his thumb. She shivered, closed her eyes, and tilted her head sideways a little.
"I've been alone for so long, Jarod," Parker whispered as she opened her eyes, gazing into Jarod's. He nodded and replied softly, "So have I, Parker." She shook her head slightly and pleaded, "Don't call me Parker. Please?" Jarod lowered his head and closed his eyes.
"Oh, Angela," he whispered before their lips met. She returned the kiss and placed her arms around Jarod's shoulders. Then she ended the gentle kiss by pulling away and saying, "We should get back."
She walked back over to Luke and shot off towards the house, leaving Jarod still sitting on the boulder. He mounted Maggie and followed slowly, wanting to give her time.
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Parker stood in front of Catherine's crib, staring at the sleeping form. She whispered, "Goodnight, my angel." Then she headed to her room. She closed the door, only to have Jarod walk through it after she'd let go of the doorknob.
"Angela, what happened out there?" asked Jarod patiently. Parker laughed mirthlessly and said, "I made a fool of myself." He shook his head. Parker scoffed and said bitterly, "You don't want me. I'm damaged goods." Jarod's heart broke at the defeated look in her eyes.
"No, no you're not, Angela. You're wrong. I do want you, even with all that's happened to you over the past few years. I want you to love me like I love you."
Parker turned her back and whispered, "I'm afraid I've forgotten how." Her shoulders trembled with the emotion she was trying to hold back. Jarod stepped up to her and placed his hands on her upper arms. He leaned his head forward and spoke softly into her ear.
"Then let me show you how, Angela. I can show you how to love." He gently turned Parker around, still holding her arms. They looked into each other's eyes until Parker's face finally crumpled and she fell into his welcoming arms.
When Parker and Jarod had stopped their tears, Parker pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. There, she saw pure and simple love. She hoped it reflected from her own eyes. She drew his face to hers and kissed him. Jarod held her tightly while returning the kiss. When Jarod pulled away to catch his breath, Parker whispered, "Jarod, I love you." He stroked her face and replied, "I love you, too, Angela."
They kissed once more before Jarod pulled away and made to go back to his room. He'd made it to the door when a soft word turned him around.
"Stay." He was about to protest that their relationship was fairly new to introduce anymore physical intimacy, but the look in Parker's eyes stopped him.
"I want you hold me. I want you to sleep beside me. I've slept alone for too long." Jarod nodded and followed her to the king-sized bed. Once laying down, Parker moved to settle herself. She lay with her forehead against Jarod's chest for a few moments. He could feel her relaxing more by the minute. Then, before her breathing evened out, she nestled her head against his chest and made the cooing sound she'd made the night she was raped. Jarod's heart swelled with his love for her. He kissed the top of her head and fell into a deep sleep.
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Jarod smiled as he watched his beloved Angela move about in the kitchen. She was wearing one of his button-up shirts and was making him bacon and eggs. Baby Catherine sat in her high chair, giggling at nothing in particular.
He'd woken up that morning to Parker's eyes on his face. They smiled and gave each other a good morning kiss. Then she got up to go to the kitchen. Jarod soon followed. He was now sitting at the breakfast nook, reading the morning's paper.
He put down the paper after awhile and decided to call Sydney. He hadn't told his mentor how long he'd planned on being on vacation. Now he knew. Indefinitely. He told Parker who he was calling.
"Jarod, is that a good idea?" she asked.
"I won't tell him it's you, babe. He wouldn't tell anyone anyway." Jarod smiled as he dialed Sydney's number.
"This is Sydney."
"It's me."
"Jarod? I've been worried about you. You haven't called in weeks. Where have you been?" asked a concerned Sydney. Jarod chuckled.
"'I've met someone," he replied as he looked over to Angela. She smiled lovingly at him.
"Jarod...that's wonderful. Tell me about her."
"She's an old friend. It's almost like our relationship's been resurrected." Jarod loved dropping hints like that. It almost seemed too obvious.
"Oh...that's great. So, what does this mean, Jarod?"
"It means that I'm disappearing. For good, this time. I'll miss you, Sydney."
"I'm glad for you, Jarod. I wish you the best of luck. You deserve to be happy. I've always thought that."
"Thanks. Look, Syd. I've gotta go. When you get out of that place, you know how to reach me." Jarod hung up the phone and pulled his love into his lap.
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"Where did that call come from?" asked a raspy voice.
"A small town in Kentucky, called Harrison," answered a young man sitting at a computer. The wheezing man asked, "Was it Jarod?" The man nodded. He added, "It was Jarod, but the name belonging to the number was an Angela P. Russell."
The man with the raspy voice chuckled sinisterly, giving the young man chills. He wheezed, "Very clever. She faked her own death." He laughed again.
"We've got you, Jarod," rasped the older man, "and Miss Parker, too." As he left the room, his oxygen tank that he wheeled behind him squeaked, giving the young tech even more chills.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Summary: If I say too much, I'll give away the major plot. But here's a little tidbit to whet your appetites: Things aren't what they seem.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I am borrowing them, just for fun. :)
Note: A couple of songs inspired this story while I was trying to rack my brain for ideas (I actually had the sequel pretty much planned out before the first part). Their names are "Home to Stay" and " To Where You Are". Both of these songs are sung by Josh Groban. They'll pop in the story when they're relevant.
Jarod felt the wind blow through his hair. He smiled as he thought, I'm glad I put the top down. He let his mind roam as he drove the stretching country roads.
His mind fell on an event that happened exactly two years ago. Suddenly, he was back in that torturous night.
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"It's Miss Parker. She's killed herself, Jarod." Those words echoed in Jarod's head as his breath left him in a rush. He sank to his knees and whispered, "No! It can't be!"
Sydney's sobs on the other end confirmed what he so desperately wanted to deny. Harsh sobs racked his frame as he cried with Sydney. He had tried to help Parker out, but she turned him away as only she could.
Jarod managed to whisper, "Thanks, Syd." Then he hung up the phone. He didn't sleep the rest of the night. He just cried.
The next day, Jarod managed to get into the funeral home that would be taking care of her. He pretended to be a mortician named Jarod Grieves. When Miss Parker's body arrived the following day, he didn't know if he could make it through the experience.
He did her makeup and hair, paying attention to the minutest detail. He cried as he worked on her.
The night before the funeral, Jarod sketched her face. Her beautiful face.
He watched the burial from afar. If he got too close, the Centre would get him. Would that be so bad? You could be "closer" to her, snickered a nasty voice in his head that had popped up within the last couple of days. He shook his head to get rid of it.
After everyone had left, Jarod walked up to the new grave and laid his picture of her, which he had framed, against the stone. He read the song lyrics that he had written down on the paper once more. He had heard the song the day before and thought it fitting for the occasion.
Who can say for certain? Maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are mine forever, love. And you are watching over me from up above.
Fly Me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for awhile to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping Here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen. As my heart holds you Just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me Everyday. 'Cause you are mine forever, love Watching me from up above. And I believe that angels breathe, And that love will live on and never leave.
Fly Me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for awhile to you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there, A breath away's not far to where you are.
Love, J.
Jarod walked away from the fresh mound of dirt with tears still streaming down his cheeks.
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Jarod shuddered as he remembered all he went through. For the first year after Parker's suicide, he couldn't handle it. He stopped going on pretends, he stopped contacting Sydney.
Sydney was the one to make the contact. He had been scared that Jarod would commit suicide as well.
He almost did. One night, after one too many glasses of whiskey, he sat in the bathtub in his hotel with a razorblade in his hand. He had pressed it to his wrist when he broke down in tears.
That night was the turning point in his behavior. Jarod realized he had so much to live for. He was so close to finding his mother. He had already found most of his family. He just couldn't do it. As much as he wanted to be with Parker, he wanted his family more.
After the night in the tub, Jarod started calling Sydney again. He still had tough times and a couple of suicidal tendencies.
But two years after her death, Jarod was finally through the grieving process. He still missed Parker, and he grieved for her as well, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it.
Jarod sighed as he pulled over at a gas station to fill up his tank. While he had been thinking of his progress, he'd reached a small to medium sized town. He had decided to take a vacation in Kentucky. He wouldn't pretend while he was here, he had told himself. He didn't know exactly where in Kentucky he was going. He figured he'd just stop somewhere and stay.
There were three reasons for this trip. One was because he had spent one year sober. During his bad year, he'd become an alcoholic. The second was to celebrate one year being alive. The third was the two year anniversary of Miss Parker's death.
Jarod got out of the car and started the process of pumping gas. He popped a cherry Pez, his first one in ages, and produced a smile that hadn't been on his face in two years. While he put gas in the car, he remembered the last night he saw Parker.
It had been a stormy night. In fact, it was the night before Parker took the pills. She had somehow found out where he was at and paid a visit. She walked into his room soaking wet and slammed the door shut. Even though her face was covered in rain drops, he could tell she was crying as well. She had said, "I'm so tired, Jarod." As had been the norm for months, his heart broke when he saw her like that. Then she said something that stuck in his mind for two years.
"Never forget me, Jarod." He now realized that then he kind of knew what she was going to do. Before she left, Parker walked over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. Jarod had kept his eyes closed until he'd heard the slamming of his hotel room door.
Other lines, from another song he'd heard ran through his head as he stood at the pump.
I know you're gone, I watched you leave. I always thought That it was me. You made it clear with that last kiss, You couldn't live a life with "Maybes" and "What Ifs".
And now I know why you had to go alone, Isn't there a place between?
Reach out to me, Call out my name, And I would bring you back again today.
The whole song was about a girl leaving a guy because she needed space. But those few verses perfectly described Jarod's feelings about the situation. Miss Parker had to do it alone. She couldn't let him wallow in her depression. Still, Jarod sometimes felt a little hurt that she couldn't confide in him. You would have tried to convince her not to do it. She wanted the control, the voice whispered. He and his voice got along just fine nowadays. It was like his own "inner sense".
Jarod had paid the clerk inside and started his car when this train of thought ended. He decided to drive around town for a while. He had a feeling that this might be the town for him to stay in. The people seemed so nice.
Jarod parked at a candy store in the middle of town. He wanted to search for something new to get hooked on. He still loved Pez, but the continuity of it grew old. He was amazed at all the possible choices available! Finally, Jarod decided on Whoppers and Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. He couldn't wait to try these new delights.
He walked out the door of the store and began to open his carton of Whoppers. Jarod casually looked up. Then he saw her.
Miss Parker?
Jarod squatted beside the bushes in the alleyway and watched the woman that captured his attention. She was tall and fairly slender. She wore faded boot cut jeans and a red boatneck long-sleeved tee. Her hair was different. It was long, hanging a few inches past her shoulders, black, and curly. She was walking a clumsy black lab, struggling to keep it under control.
"Parker!" Jarod heard a young voice cry out. The woman turned around and smiled. The child who had yelled looked like he was going to the woman, but instead he tackled the lovable lab. Jarod sighed. The dog's name was Parker. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd seen that woman before.
Jarod followed her. In reality, he didn't know why he was doing it. But the voices in his head were practically screaming to go after her. He followed discreetly, and ended up at what appeared to be her house.
The mystery woman lived on a sprawling plot of land, in what looked like to be a two-story rust-colored brick house. Jarod could see stables and hear horses nickering in the distance.
He studied the house. It was very homey-looking. The style was distinctly Southern, with the big wrap-around front porch filled with seemingly comfortable rocking chairs. Tall, shady trees peppered the front yard. Jarod could see plants and flowers nearer to the house. Then he heard the laugh. He knew that laugh.
Against his promise to himself, Jarod knew he had to pretend. If this woman wasn't Miss Parker, he could simply be a lost tourist. If she was, Jarod would have no need to pretend.
He walked up to the big white front door and knocked. No one answered. Jarod tried to open the door and found it unlocked. He stepped into the foyer and was immediately awed by the decoration. Warm earth tones, like tans and berry colors, covered the walls and area rugs.
Jarod heard the laugh again, this time more like a giggle, through the screen door that led to the back yard. He crept stealthily to the door and went into the back yard. He was at a loss once more, but this time because of the scene he was viewing.
The woman who looked like Miss Parker was chasing a crawling child. The child would stop every once in awhile, look at the woman, giggle and coo, and then go back to crawling. The Miss Parker look-alike would laugh when the baby would do this. Everytime Jarod heard the laugh, his breath caught in his throat.
The lady, apparently tired of the chasing game, ran, picked up the child, and swung her back and forth in one fluid movement. The look-alike stared into the child's eyes and spoke baby talk for a few moments before she noticed Jarod's presence.
Their eyes met. The mystery woman slowly walked up to the stranger. She adjusted the baby to her hip and continued walking. When she got closer, Jarod inhaled sharply. The woman stopped. A long pause hung in the air between them.
With tears in her eyes, the woman whispered, "Jarod?" He let out his breath in a shuddering sigh. He nodded. She moved closer until Jarod could see her face. There, on her cheek, was a tiny silver scar, left by a man who had seemingly destroyed her life.
"Parker," Jarod choked out. She didn't say anything. She just walked past Jarod and into the kitchen. Jarod followed without saying a word. He watched as she placed the child in a high chair and got out some baby food from the pantry. She had begun feeding the child when Jarod asked, "You are Miss Parker, right?"
She didn't say anything, but Jarod saw the tear that slid down her cheek. He nodded to himself. After still no reply, he pulled up a chair and sat down, waiting for her to speak.
"Jarod," she began, "I don't even know how to explain. I didn't think you would find me," Parker spoke quietly.
"I wasn't trying. It was all by chance," whispered Jarod. Their eyes met. Miss Parker visibly started when she saw the tears in his eyes. The baby had fallen asleep in the chair, so Parker wiped her hands on her jeans and walked over to Jarod. She sat down, knee to knee with him.
"I'm sorry if I...if I hurt you, Jarod." He scoffed slightly and replied bitterly, "We all hurt for you, Parker. Me, Sydney, Broots, Debbie, Angelo, and even Lyle showed some remorse." He was immediately sorry for the way he said the words. Parker flinched and then protested, "But I had to! You don't understand." Jarod caught her hands with his and rubbed them tenderly.
"It's okay, Parker. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It's just, I grieved. For so long, I've grieved." Parker nodded.
"How did you do it? Why did you do it?" asked Jarod curiously. Parker smiled a little when his pretender side came out. She drew a deep breath and began.
"Well, it all started sometime during my first month back at the Centre after the rape. I thought I'd been doing better, but my dreams started coming back. After several weeks, I just couldn't take it. I had to tell someone, someone other than you." Parker looked apologetically towards Jarod. He shrugged his shoulders in understanding, so she went on.
"So, I told Sydney. About that time, I started getting sick every day. And my moods seemed to fluctuate often, without any rhyme or reason. I had heard the little whisperings in my head, my 'inner sense', telling me what the cause was, but I didn't believe them. I took a test and trusted that. I had become pregnant, Jarod." She waited as the look of surprise wore off. Jarod looked at Parker, then at the sleeping infant in the high chair. Parker nodded.
"Soon, I found out that the Centre had discovered I was pregnant. And, I found that as soon as the baby was born, I would end up like Mamma. They would take the baby and kill me. I couldn't let that happen to my child." Parker paused and wiped some tears from her cheeks.
"So, I devised a plan. Only Angelo knew of it. The Centre had been developing a new sedative. It is so powerful, that the recipient appears to be dead. And the beauty of this product is that it changes with the chemicals from the human body to appear like traces of--guess what-- sleeping pills." Understanding dawned in Jarod's eyes.
"I knew I would only have a limited time, so I started to embezzle tons of money from Centre offshore accounts. I now have the funds kept in nice little anonymous boxes in various banks all over the world. I used that money to secure the land and the construction for this house. And that was only a mere fraction of the total that I stole from the Centre." Both Jarod and Miss Parker smiled wickedly at her revenge.
"When my pregnancy started to show, I knew it was time. I started behaving erratically and made up dreams. I had to keep up the act at all times. It was hard, especially for that last visit. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to ask you to come with me? But I knew I couldn't. That would endanger my child, and that would endanger you. You never could have been involved." Parker looked into his eyes for a moment.
"I made sure Sydney would prescribe me sleeping pills so I could have the bottle handy when the time came. On the big night, I acted like I'd had a terrible dream and couldn't go back to sleep. Then I took the bottle and poured all the pills in my right hand. I'd already palmed the super- sedative in my left hand. I took that one first, and then one real sleeping pill. The rest of the pills that I took had nothing in them. I needed to keep up the illusion that I was actually committing suicide in case any Sweepers were watching." She stopped to take a drink of water.
"Angelo had a 'friend' on the grounds keeping team at the cemetery. So after the funeral, I was dug up and a dummy was put in my place. It took me about two days to come out of...well, basically a coma. I'd had Angelo tape the funeral. He also had a camera in the mortician's room." Jarod sighed.
"I saw...you. I think I cried as hard as you did. It hurt me to see you hurting like that. And it ripped my heart out that I did that to you. But I had to do it. To save my baby and me." Jarod nodded his understanding.
"I saw this place as a great location for families. So I...for lack of a better word...'pretended' to be a widow. I wore all my new black clothes and a plain wedding ring. I started out with just a couple of horses, but now I'm a major breeder in this region of Kentucky." Parker sniffed. Jarod placed his hands over hers and whispered, "Your mother would have been proud. You got out of there. Successfully." He looked back to the sleeping child and asked, "What's her name?" Parker smiled.
"Catherine. Catherine Marie Russell." Jarod's mouth dropped slightly at the use of the last name that was made up for him at the Centre. He didn't think she'd remembered. He moved his mouth for a bit, but made no sound.
Parker gave a low chuckle and explained, "It just felt right. That was the only last name I was given for you. And you gave me the courage to get out of the Centre." Jarod, who was speechless, simply nodded.
Miss Parker stood up from her chair, took her water glass and the baby spoon, and walked over to the kitchen sink to rinse them off. After she'd placed them on the counter, she asked, "Want to stay for supper?" Jarod looked at the clock. It said it was about three.
"Sure. I need to make hotel arrangements, first." Parker quickly shook her head and said, "No, no, no. You'll stay here. For free. I know it can't make up for all the hurt I've caused you, but maybe it could be a start." Jarod smiled at her insistence and nodded his agreement. Parker's face glowed with her pleased smile.
She tip-toed to her sleeping daughter, picked her up carefully, and headed for the upstairs. Jarod silently followed. Once inside the child's room, he was in awe of the decorations. The walls were painted a warm yellow and the ceiling was white. The border along the middle of the wall was of moons and stars. The hardwood floor had a slight bleached look to it. The baby's crib was made of white wood and had bedding that matched the border. A mobile that consisted of moons and stars and played Moonlight Sonata hung over the top of the crib. The changing table matched the crib, as did the dresser. What caught Jarod's attention was the rocking chair.
On one wall, there was a big bay window. The space it created almost made a room of its own. The rocking chair sat in the middle of that space, facing parallel to the window. The chair itself really was nothing spectacular. It was a simple, white wooden chair. But it had character. He could tell just by looking at it that a mother rocked her child there every night. Jarod closed his eyes and could see Miss Parker holding the child, looking into her daughter's eyes as she sang a soothing lullaby.
"I bought that rocking chair before Catherine was born. She would stay up kicking me, late at night. Every night. So, I would sit in this chair and rock gently until she fell asleep. I sang to her, then and now. The song has always been "Lullaby" by Billy Joel. It never fails. Twenty minutes and bam, she's out." Parker smiled. Jarod opened his eyes and returned the smile. Their smiles faded after a few moments.
They stood there, staring silently at each other for a long time. Miss Parker swallowed hard and whispered, "I'd better get started on supper." She quickly left the room, leaving Jarod alone. He sat down in the rocker and closed his eyes in pain. When will it ever be right again? he wondered to himself.
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Miss Parker tossed the onions she had just chopped up into the spaghetti sauce and wiped her eyes. Her tears weren't caused by the onions, but by the circumstances she now found herself in.
The last thing she expected was to see Jarod in her backyard. Her life had been perfect over the past two years. No, insisted a good-natured voice, you've been missing one thing.
"Shut up," she muttered, the old Parker coming out. The voices didn't even warn her of Jarod's arrival. Funny joke, she thought to herself. She stirred the sauce with a wooden spoon with one hand and turned down the noodles with the other. Then she added sugar to the tea pitcher and set the table in the breakfast nook.
She heaped more than enough noodles on both plates and gave generous amounts of sauce to each setting. She filled the glasses with ice and then tea. No sooner had she put them down, when she heard Jarod moving upstairs. Parker sighed and wiped the last few tears from her eyes. She set about cleaning up the mess she'd made on the stove while she had the time.
Jarod came down the stairs to see Parker scrubbing the stove. He stood at the landing and simply observed her. She had changed into gray drawstring pants and a white tee. Her black mass of curls had been pulled back into a loose ponytail. A few tendrils had escaped and curled even tighter because of the heat from the stove. Underneath Jarod, the floor creaked. Parker turned around and gave a small smile. Her cheeks were flushed, probably from the stove as well. Jarod's heart leapt in his chest. He couldn't get over how beautiful she was.
Parker sat down at the table, and Jarod followed suit. His scrutinizing gaze made her uncomfortable. Why was he staring at her? She looked down at her plate and began to eat, not really tasting what she made.
"Parker, this is delicious!" exclaimed Jarod. Parker looked up and laughed at the surprised look on his face. She cocked an eyebrow and asked, "Didn't know I could cook, did ya?" Jarod shook his head negatively, so she pretended like she was insulted.
"That hurts, Jarod. It really does. After all I've done for you. I took you in, gave you a place to stay, and cooked for you. And what do you do? Honestly, you've never learned about being a houseguest, have you?" The glint in Parker's eyes was too much for Jarod. He covered his mouth and laughed heartily. Parker teased incessantly until they both were in tears and clutching their stomachs.
"Oh!" gasped Jarod. He quieted down some, but his shoulders still shook. He sighed and finally caught his breath. Parker shook her head and said, "That'll teach you to question me. I'm a different woman, Jarod."
"You have changed, Parker. Two years ago, you wouldn't have been caught dead in the clothes you wear now." She sighed and stated, "I needed a new persona. I was a 'widow' and a mother-to-be. I couldn't be wearing designer leather mini skirts. When I first got these clothes, I hated them. But now, I love them. I still have some professional looking outfits, for meetings with buyers and such, but I like my down-to-earth appearance." Me too. The thought shocked Jarod to silence for a few seconds. He started to eat his meal again. He needed something to distract him from his recent thoughts.
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Jarod helped Miss Parker clear the table. While he went to use the bathroom, she started the dish water. She had gotten half of the glasses finished when Jarod came back out. He picked up a towel and began to dry them. Parker looked at Jarod and said, "Go to your room and rest. I don't need any help." He genuinely smiled and replied, "Oh, but I want to help." She shrugged while rinsing another glass and let him go on.
"Why curls?" Parker heard Jarod ask. She turned to look at him. He raised his eyebrows innocently and explained, "I was just wondering, why curls. In your hair."
"Well," Parker began, "I don't really know why. I needed to change my hair. It had been straight all of my life, so I tried curly. I've stuck with it ever since." She smiled sleepily at Jarod. His heart jumped a little. He didn't know why he found her more attractive now.
Jarod shook his head slightly and concentrated on drying a glass. The two did the rest of the dishes in a comfortable silence. Once all the dishes had been put away and the surfaces had been wiped off, a weary Miss Parker headed for the upstairs because Catherine had begun to cry.
"Parker, let me," insisted Jarod, "You're worn out." Parker, who normally shrugged off help, simply nodded and walked like a zombie into the den. Jarod smiled and walked up to Catherine's room.
Catherine's cries ceased as Jarod lifted her out of the crib. He changed her dirty diaper and took her into the playroom across the hall. He put her down on the floor and sat beside her. The two began playing like they were best friends.
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Miss Parker heard from downstairs the cooing and laughter taking place upstairs. She had been listening to it for about an hour. She got up from the sofa and walked upstairs barefoot. She took a peek into the playroom, and her heart was warmed by what she saw.
Jarod and Catherine were apparently having crawling races across the playroom floor. Catherine was energetic for having slept only until five, and then playing for an hour. Parker smiled, then stretched. She tip-toed down the hall into her bathroom. She drew a tubful of steaming water and poured vanilla-scented bubble bath in.
Parker turned on the radio to her favorite radio station. In the evenings, a DJ came on that took requests and dedications and played soothing songs. She lit her twenty vanilla candles and turned off the lights. After closing the door, Parker stepped out of her clothes and stepped into the soothing water. She leaned her head back against the headrest and moaned softly with pleasure once she was fully in the steaming hot water.
Parker soaked for a good thirty minutes, relaxing her aching bones. Slowly, she went under. She stayed there while holding her breath, enjoying the heat of the water. About a minute later, she resurfaced and sighed. She closed her eyes and basked in the warmth.
An hour later, Parker was still soaking. The water was still hot, thanks to a heater she'd had installed in the tub. Suddenly, she heard noises in her bedroom. Then she heard the bathroom door open. She turned to the doorway and gasped.
Jarod's face reddened instantly. He stuttered, "M-Miss Parker, I-I didn't mean to--"
"It's all right, Jarod," murmured Parker. She kept her head down, but slowly lifted her eyes to meet Jarod's. He swallowed hard and tried to calm his racing heart. He whispered, "I'll go."
Parker watched him scramble out of the bathroom. She chuckled. He was so funny when he got flustered. And you become very seductive when you get tired, Parker, a voice nagged lightly. She sighed and climbed out of the tub. She wrapped her damp hair in a towel and put on her white terrycloth robe. Parker drained the tub, took her hair out of the towel, and rubbed it vigorously. Then she raked her hands through her thick mass of curls.
Parker walked out into the hall to check on Catherine. Sure enough, she was sound asleep in her crib. Jarod must have worn her out, she thought to herself.
"She played hard, today," rumbled Jarod's deep voice. She turned around to see Jarod leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets. They both smiled and he whispered, "Good night, Parker." She nodded and watched as Jarod left the baby's room. She stood there for a few minutes longer, then pulled her robe tighter around her and walked into her own room.
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Miss Parker hurried down the hall into Catherine's room. She had been awakened by her child's cries in the middle of the night. After she picked up Catherine, Parker unbuttoned the top buttons of her sleep shirt and allowed her daughter to latch on.
Even though Catherine was a year old, Parker still nursed. She'd been trying to wean her daughter from it, but Catherine just wasn't ready yet. Parker walked over to the rocking chair and sat down, gazing out at the starry night. Then she looked into her daughter's eyes as Catherine sucked hungrily. Parker smiled softly.
Jarod watched this scene from the doorway, where he was unseen. He saw how Parker lovingly fed her daughter. For reasons he couldn't understand, tears began to fill his eyes. His heart felt like it was being tugged by many little strings that were tugging in the same direction. But Jarod didn't know if he was ready to move in that direction.
He looked away as Miss Parker shifted the baby from her right side to her left. She still amazed him. Jarod hadn't thought he would ever see Miss Parker breast-feeding her child. He just didn't expect it.
He smiled when he heard Catherine coo as she was feeding. But his gaze was on Parker's face. It was bathed in moonlight, filled with the love she contained for her child.
Soon, Miss Parker moved Catherine away long enough for her to button one button on her shirt. She gently wiped her daughter's mouth and began to rock her. Softly, she sang their special lullaby. Parker's voice took Jarod's breath away. It was, by no means, the best voice ever. But it definitely was the voice of a loving mother, soothing her child.
Parker got up slowly and carefully placed a sleeping Catherine in her crib. She smiled to herself as she headed to the door. She stopped in her tracks as she saw Jarod in the doorway. He stepped forward into the moonlight. When she saw the look in his eyes, she stopped breathing. He took another step forward. Although she didn't know it, she stepped toward him as well. They looked into each other's eyes unwaveringly.
During that silent stretch, Parker could hear the heater kick on. Jarod slowly reached out and touched the tiny scar on her cheek. Her lower lip trembled slightly as she unconsciously tilted her head back. As his attention moved downward, so did his head. Their lips met after what seemed like an eternity. It was a long, slow, and sweet kiss. Jarod's hands moved to rest on her hips, while Parker's hands raised to his shoulders.
A few tears slid down her cheeks as the kiss deepened. Jarod pulled her closer to him, while he leaned into her. Parker's back ended up against a wall. He leaned into her just a little more, enjoying her closeness. After a few moments, however, Parker gently pushed Jarod away and covered her mouth with the back of her hand, panting for breath. While he tried to catch his breath as well, Miss Parker broke the silence.
"We...we can't do this, Jarod," she gasped breathlessly. She shook her head and continued, "Not here, not now." His face fell slightly, but he instantly masked that and let her continue.
"I can't. I...I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm ready. Jarod, I haven't even given a man a chance in two years," Parker explained with tears falling down her face. Jarod pulled her into a quick embrace and whispered, "It's okay, Parker. I understand." Then he smiled slightly and walked out of the room.
Parker slowly fell to her knees, covered her face with her hands, and sobbed quietly. Her voices fell silent as she tried to understand why her heart felt like it had been ripped out.
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As the sun touched his face, Jarod opened his eyes and stretched. Over the past month, he had been staying at Miss Parker's. He helped with Catherine, housework, and even ran some errands for her. After that first night, they came to an understanding that only friendship was allowed. For now, came a thought that startled Jarod.
He realized that the house was completely silent. He got out of bed, pulled on some jeans, put on a tee shirt, and walked out into the hall. He noticed that Catherine wasn't in her crib. He went over to Parker's room and knocked.
"Miss Parker?" Jarod asked. No one answered. So he went downstairs and searched, but with no luck. He sighed and poured himself a cup of coffee.
After a few minutes, he heard laughing. Jarod put down his mug and headed into the spacious back yard. He still could hear laughing, but he couldn't see anyone. He headed further out until he reached the fence that separated the yard from the horse grounds. Jarod rested his forearms on the first railing and leaned forward.
Out of nowhere, a sleek black horse shot in front of him. Its speed was incredible! The breeze that followed the horse seconds later gave Jarod chills. The gorgeous animal slowed as its rider tugged on the reins. After the horse had stopped, the rider hopped off with ease. Jarod's breath caught in his throat as he watched a breathless Miss Parker turn around with a huge smile on her face.
"Good morning, Jarod!" she greeted him with a wave. Jarod waved back and asked, "Where did you learn to ride like that?" Parker grinned as she walked over to the fence. When she reached him, she replied, "Experience."
Jarod swallowed hard as he took in her appearance. She was once again wearing faded boot cut jeans. Her shirt was a soft, button-up, red flannel shirt with the front ends tied in a knot. Her thick hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, but several strands had come loose, wreathing her face in messy curls. Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red from all the activity.
"Sorry if we worried you. But it's our monthly run. We exercise all of the horses, in case they haven't really gotten any in the past month," Parker explained breathlessly. Jarod smiled, regaining his composure. He asked, "Where's Catherine?"
"Hey, Joe!" Parker shouted. Soon, a stable hand came out carrying the child in his arms. Her mother smiled and cooed, "There's my girl." Parker took her daughter into her arms and kissed her forehead. Jarod shook his head in amazement. He asked, "You own all this land?"
"Yep," Parker nodded, " all the way down into the valley. You should see it out there. The valley, I mean. It's so beautiful, so lush. The creek, and the trees. It's like a little paradise."
"I'd like that," Jarod murmured. Parker smiled, nodded her head, and stated, "Well, we'll have to go there sometime." She winked and walked back over to Joe. She handed Catherine to the young man, then turned back to Jarod.
"Want to ride?" asked Parker. Jarod grinned and hopped over the fence. She led him into one of the stables and pulled out a gentle-looking, brown mare from her stall.
"This one shouldn't give you any trouble. Maggie's been with me ever since day one." Parker smiled. She then got Maggie saddled up.
"What's the name of the black one you're riding?" asked Jarod as he mounted Maggie. Parker swung herself up on the black and replied, "His name's Luke." She spurred her horse on, and she was off. Jarod shook his head with a smile on his face and headed after her.
The two raced back and forth, giving their horses a good workout. Parker's horse was fast like lightening. Jarod could barely keep up. He could feel his horse tiring, so he slowed to a walk. He settled for watching Parker some more. Because of the speed of her horse, her hair came out of its ponytail, flying loose behind her. Jarod followed her with his eyes as she passed in front of him. His heart stopped for a few beats when she looked at him while she was directly in front of him. The look on her face was pure joy. Her sparkling blue eyes trained on Jarod's warm brown ones. Time seemed to move in slow motion.
Then time sped up again, and Parker was past him. He shook his head slightly, as if to shake away the feelings he was experiencing. All he knew was that something would have to happen between them, or Jarod thought he might go mad.
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Parker relaxed in her patio chair, smiling at her daughter, who was playing in her playpen. The aroma eminating from the grill was mouth-watering. She turned to look at Jarod, who was in the process of flipping a hamburger patty. She sipped her creamy coffee and closed her eyes.
She didn't know how much longer Jarod was planning on staying. Part of her hoped he'd never leave. They had fallen into a comfortable routine. To the outsider, they would appear married. But, came a familiar voice, there are a few key things missing. Parker sighed. Her mother would not leave her alone. Always playing matchmaker.
"Are you all right, Miss Parker?" asked Jarod, who had turned to look at her. She smiled and reassured, "I'm fine, Jarod." He shot her a look and turned back to the grill.
"What?" inquired Parker. Jarod replied, "Oh, nothing." She rolled her eyes and let him be. In the past weeks following their horse races, Jarod's demeanor had changed. It almost seemed like he was flirting with her. When she felt like it, she gave as good as she got.
What Jarod didn't know was that ever since he arrived, Parker cried herself to sleep every night. That she would awake in the early hours of the morning, longing for a warm body beside her. That she felt completely and utterly alone.
He's just right down the hall, Parker. All you have to do is--Parker closed her eyes and shook her head slightly to silence the voice. She wanted...she didn't know what she wanted.
When Parker first moved to Kentucky, she came under the guise of a widow. After the first year, and after she had given birth, men would come on to her. Tastefully, of course. She had many male friends, but she hadn't dated anyone since she'd been raped. One reason was because of the rape. But another reason was that no one made her feel the way someone made her feel a long time ago.
Jarod set a plate in front of Parker, then sat across from her. She picked up her hamburger and took a bite. She closed her eyes and moaned softly.
"Jarod, this burger is exquisite!" she exclaimed. Jarod smiled and nodded his thanks. The two began to eat in silence, not needing to fill in the quiet spaces.
"Parker, why do you think Catherine isn't walking yet?" asked Jarod after about ten minutes. Parker looked over at her daughter, who was now sleeping in the playpen.
"She's stubborn, just like Mommy. She'll walk when she wants to," answered Parker with pride in her voice.
"I must say, I never pictured you being a 'Mommy'," remarked Jarod. Parker saw wonder in those brown eyes of his. She whispered, "I never did, either." Jarod saw tears beginning to glisten in her eyes as she continued, a little louder.
"But then I felt her move inside of me. It was the most wonderful experience I've ever felt. I knew from the beginning that I should keep her, but I fell in love with that first kick. Then, I got to hold her in my arms after only two hours of labor. I swear she made it easy on me. She looked--still looks--exactly like I did at that age. She's perfect." She saw Jarod frown as he asked, "But, wasn't it hard to go through it all alone, Parker?" She sighed, her eyes turning sad.
"Yeah, it was. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Because of the quick labor, I couldn't have an epidural. I also forgot to take Lamaze classes. So, it was very painful. But I got through okay." Jarod mentally winced at the sorrowful look on her face. He wanted so much to hold her until that look was gone. But, he knew he could not.
"Let's go to the valley. Tonight," Parker interrupted Jarod's thoughts. She continued, "I'll get a sitter, and we can ride there in time to catch the sunset." Jarod nodded. Parker clapped her hands excitedly, an action she would never had done back at the Centre. She rushed inside to call the baby- sitter. Jarod cleared the dishes from the patio table and rinsed them off in the sink. Then he went to put on his black leather jacket. He met Miss Parker at the top of the stairs.
"She'll be here in five minutes. Go ahead and pick your horse. Luke's mine," she stated with an excited glimmer in her eyes. Jarod didn't know why she was so excited all of a sudden, but he liked the change in her.
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Parker was right, Jarod thought, this valley is like paradise. He was again on Maggie. He and Parker rode side by side all of the way. She pointed out certain landmarks, like the exercise yards and grazing field.
The valley was totally different from the rest of the landscape. It was like an oasis in the desert. Tall green trees, lush shrubbery, and the babbling brook. Parker dismounted at the beginning of the trees and let Luke graze. Jarod did the same. She sat down on a huge boulder by the creek bed and patted the space beside her, motioning for Jarod to sit down.
They watched the sun slowly set. The sky was ablaze with color. Bright reds, vivid oranges and purples, pale pinks and clear blues. Neither one said a word until only tinges of purple remained at the horizon.
"I'm sorry, Jarod," murmured Parker. He looked at her for a moment.
"Sorry for what?" he asked. She blinked back tears as she replied, "For what I've made you go through the past two years. I don't know how you handled it, but seeing you on tape the night before the funeral broke my heart multiple times." They looked at each other.
"How did you handle it, Jarod?" asked Parker tearfully. He sat for a long time, debating whether or not to tell her the whole truth. He decided.
"Well, it's kind of hard to explain. I cut off all contact with the people I loved. I lost it. I became an alcoholic. I missed you desperately. I wanted to be with you. One night I...I..." Jarod stumbled over the words. Parker's eyes widened as she shook her head slightly. He recomposed himself and went on.
"One night...I tried to kill myself. I didn't actually go through with the attempt. I couldn't. I realized that you were gone. So after that night, I got help from Sydney. I sobered up. That's why I came here. It was the anniversary of one year sober and my first 'rebirth' day. And it was two years without you. I don't even know why I picked Kentucky." Jarod raised his hands, palms up. When he took a good look at Parker, his face fell.
"Parker, Parker, don't cry. Please don't cry." He turned slightly and pulled her into his arms. She sobbed into his shirt. She cried out, "I almost killed you, Jarod!" He shook his head and said calmly, "No, no. I almost killed me. Not you. I let myself get that way. I never blamed you. Not once."
Jarod stroked her hair. He felt her calm down before she pulled away from him to look in his eyes. She searched them. He had no idea what she was looking for. Tears silently fell down her cheeks as she whispered, "I'm so sorry." Jarod placed one of his hands on her cheek, the other on her upper arm. He looked into her eyes as he whispered, "It's not your fault." He softly traced her lips with his thumb. She shivered, closed her eyes, and tilted her head sideways a little.
"I've been alone for so long, Jarod," Parker whispered as she opened her eyes, gazing into Jarod's. He nodded and replied softly, "So have I, Parker." She shook her head slightly and pleaded, "Don't call me Parker. Please?" Jarod lowered his head and closed his eyes.
"Oh, Angela," he whispered before their lips met. She returned the kiss and placed her arms around Jarod's shoulders. Then she ended the gentle kiss by pulling away and saying, "We should get back."
She walked back over to Luke and shot off towards the house, leaving Jarod still sitting on the boulder. He mounted Maggie and followed slowly, wanting to give her time.
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Parker stood in front of Catherine's crib, staring at the sleeping form. She whispered, "Goodnight, my angel." Then she headed to her room. She closed the door, only to have Jarod walk through it after she'd let go of the doorknob.
"Angela, what happened out there?" asked Jarod patiently. Parker laughed mirthlessly and said, "I made a fool of myself." He shook his head. Parker scoffed and said bitterly, "You don't want me. I'm damaged goods." Jarod's heart broke at the defeated look in her eyes.
"No, no you're not, Angela. You're wrong. I do want you, even with all that's happened to you over the past few years. I want you to love me like I love you."
Parker turned her back and whispered, "I'm afraid I've forgotten how." Her shoulders trembled with the emotion she was trying to hold back. Jarod stepped up to her and placed his hands on her upper arms. He leaned his head forward and spoke softly into her ear.
"Then let me show you how, Angela. I can show you how to love." He gently turned Parker around, still holding her arms. They looked into each other's eyes until Parker's face finally crumpled and she fell into his welcoming arms.
When Parker and Jarod had stopped their tears, Parker pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. There, she saw pure and simple love. She hoped it reflected from her own eyes. She drew his face to hers and kissed him. Jarod held her tightly while returning the kiss. When Jarod pulled away to catch his breath, Parker whispered, "Jarod, I love you." He stroked her face and replied, "I love you, too, Angela."
They kissed once more before Jarod pulled away and made to go back to his room. He'd made it to the door when a soft word turned him around.
"Stay." He was about to protest that their relationship was fairly new to introduce anymore physical intimacy, but the look in Parker's eyes stopped him.
"I want you hold me. I want you to sleep beside me. I've slept alone for too long." Jarod nodded and followed her to the king-sized bed. Once laying down, Parker moved to settle herself. She lay with her forehead against Jarod's chest for a few moments. He could feel her relaxing more by the minute. Then, before her breathing evened out, she nestled her head against his chest and made the cooing sound she'd made the night she was raped. Jarod's heart swelled with his love for her. He kissed the top of her head and fell into a deep sleep.
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Jarod smiled as he watched his beloved Angela move about in the kitchen. She was wearing one of his button-up shirts and was making him bacon and eggs. Baby Catherine sat in her high chair, giggling at nothing in particular.
He'd woken up that morning to Parker's eyes on his face. They smiled and gave each other a good morning kiss. Then she got up to go to the kitchen. Jarod soon followed. He was now sitting at the breakfast nook, reading the morning's paper.
He put down the paper after awhile and decided to call Sydney. He hadn't told his mentor how long he'd planned on being on vacation. Now he knew. Indefinitely. He told Parker who he was calling.
"Jarod, is that a good idea?" she asked.
"I won't tell him it's you, babe. He wouldn't tell anyone anyway." Jarod smiled as he dialed Sydney's number.
"This is Sydney."
"It's me."
"Jarod? I've been worried about you. You haven't called in weeks. Where have you been?" asked a concerned Sydney. Jarod chuckled.
"'I've met someone," he replied as he looked over to Angela. She smiled lovingly at him.
"Jarod...that's wonderful. Tell me about her."
"She's an old friend. It's almost like our relationship's been resurrected." Jarod loved dropping hints like that. It almost seemed too obvious.
"Oh...that's great. So, what does this mean, Jarod?"
"It means that I'm disappearing. For good, this time. I'll miss you, Sydney."
"I'm glad for you, Jarod. I wish you the best of luck. You deserve to be happy. I've always thought that."
"Thanks. Look, Syd. I've gotta go. When you get out of that place, you know how to reach me." Jarod hung up the phone and pulled his love into his lap.
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"Where did that call come from?" asked a raspy voice.
"A small town in Kentucky, called Harrison," answered a young man sitting at a computer. The wheezing man asked, "Was it Jarod?" The man nodded. He added, "It was Jarod, but the name belonging to the number was an Angela P. Russell."
The man with the raspy voice chuckled sinisterly, giving the young man chills. He wheezed, "Very clever. She faked her own death." He laughed again.
"We've got you, Jarod," rasped the older man, "and Miss Parker, too." As he left the room, his oxygen tank that he wheeled behind him squeaked, giving the young tech even more chills.
TO BE CONTINUED...