Disclaimer: Nope, own absolutely nothing... 'cept the story.
Summary: Set in the middle of Season 3. An unlikely midnight encounter between Jess and Dean resolves some much needed issues with both. Still chock full of Literati goodness, but somewhat Narco-friendly...
A/N: Okay, I have a confession to make. Way before I became a full-on Literati, ... I leaned on the Narco side. Yep. I'm Dean-friendly. And really felt that there were issues to be resolved. Might overlap with what the show will soon produce, but hoping to remain fully independent and complementary to what the show has. Hope you like it... and R&R please! :0)
Of Cold Nights and Coffee
The world around him was engulfed in total darkness. He shivered against the cold, eyes alert and wary, his mind doubting the land that surrounded him. Usually, when he was in this sort of a mood, there was a voice in his head that chided his foolishness, rationalising that there were no reasons for him to fear walking in the dark the way he did now. That voice was eerily and discomfortingly silent tonight.
He took a few more steps, boots crunching loudly in the snow, then stopped. He heard an echo of that crunching behind him, not far off. He whirled around, eyes seeking out something-- anything-- in the darkness. The dim illumination from the porch light of the nearest house was all he had to see by, and while that light betrayed no one, he doubted it showed him all the night had to hide. Cautiously, he slowly turned back around, continuing his journey home via the bridge, his mind desperately trying to drive away his fears. His heart skipped several beats when he slammed into a large, immovable object that had suddenly appeared in his path. He stumbled backwards, almost falling, but only just preventing himself from going down.
"Oh, jeez!!" Jess Mariano shouted, his heart thudding loudly in his chest. I knew I shouldn't have gone for the horror movie combo. "Shouldn't you be wearing a bell, Bag Boy?"
Dean Forester sneered at Jess, something in his face not quite the same tonight. "Just shut up, Jess."
His words were slurred, and while Jess would normally have brushed this off with a derogatory comment towards Dean, he had also heard this sort of slur too many times before.
"Have you been drinking?" Jess took a step away from Dean, his nose also now picking up the smell of alcohol, dense in Dean's breath.
"So what if I have? Whaddya gonna do-- steal my bottle from me?"
Jess really had to resist the strong temptation to fling another insult at him, but only because Tall Dean was lurching towards him now. "Christ, man, back off!"
Jess would probably have been able to avoid Dean on any other day, and this was only made easier by Dean's drunken state. Dean lunged for the smaller guy, but Jess easily dodged him, as Dean fell into the snow on his knees, his face hitting the fresh powder before he could stop his fall.
Jess watched the pathetic fallen figure for awhile, almost feeling pity for the guy, until Dean began to retch. Then Jess took a step back, the pity on his face quickly replaced by disgust at the filthy mess Dean was making. Then the disgust had to go back home, as panic came out to play, when Dean, weakly supporting himself away from his own vomit, began to fall unconscious.
"Whoa, man, what the hell?" Jess pulled Dean back by the shoulders, and onto his side. "Don't take this as a compliment or anything, but I'd really rather not be standing over your asphyxiated corpse in the morning."
Dean only stared back at him blankly.
"Come on, now, get up." Jess tugged at Dean's arms. Normally, he probably could have lifted a guy his own size, but then... this was after all Tall Dean. "Hey, get up already!"
Dean only responded with a glassy-eyed stare.
"Look, you'll freeze out here, and the neighbours have probably already spotted me as the last person to have seen you alive, and once again, I'm not keen to be part of a murder investigation." Jess looked down at Dean's prone form, still unresponsive. "Do I have to call Rory here to deal with this?"
"Rory..." Jess wasn't even certain that Dean had spoken, until he saw the change in his expression, now wistful and longing.
Guilt shot through his heart. There it was, undeniable proof that Dean did still love Rory. It had been awhile now, but the feelings for her were evidently still there. I can't just let him freeze out here like this...
"Hey, come on," Jess repeated, the harsh edge in his voice now dulled. He tugged at Dean again, and this time he slowly began to respond. With much help from the smaller man, Dean got up onto his feet, still heavily leaning on Jess for support, as the unlikely duo began walking.
Oh crap... Jess was straining to hold the huge guy up. Let's get this over and done with quickly... "Where do you live?"
The deadweight Jess supported suddenly became... well, deader. "Whoa, hey, get up!"
Dean was sitting on the snow again. "No... can't go home..."
Jess wriggled out from under the gangly limb that was Dean's arm, catching his breath. "Well, you sure as hell can't stay here."
Dean stared back at him, the request in his eyes obvious, the lips just unwilling to speak it.
"Oh Christ... Fine, we'll get you to the diner. But only to sober up, you understand?" Jess added, not wanting to spend more time with the guy whose heart he had inadvertently helped to break, than he absolutely had to. "Come on."
Dean was suddenly more willing to stand on his own two feet as they got moving again. Oh, sure, Bag Boy. Just threaten to squish me until you get your way.
The journey was long and arduous (at least on Jess's part), and more than once Jess regretted the sudden softening of his stone heart. He even considered pulling a Luke as the two crossed the bridge that he so loved, but he figured giving the guy hypothermia wasn't very much better. And so it was that the unlikely duo continued their journey across town, Jess desperately hoping that no whacked-out townsfolk were watching the strange events unfold.
Things got tricky when Jess reached the front door of the diner. It was late, and Luke didn't normally stay up to wait for Jess to get back when it was movie night at Lorelai's, so he was on his own now. On the road to the diner, somehow, Dean had fallen further into his state of stupor, and Jess was now left fervently trying to prop Dean up against the frame of the door, and make him stay there long enough for him to get the keys out and unlock the door.
It took Jess a full five minutes before he was finally able to get the door open. Great, add that to the list of things I now know I can do, but that I'd really rather not know I could do. He dragged Dean into the diner, cursing Luke's habit of putting the chairs up over the tables at closing, as he struggled to the counter. Now came the challenge of getting Dean to stay on one of the stools.
With some difficulty, he hauled the deadweight onto the seat itself, but in the true fashion of rag dolls, Dean refused to stay there. The first few times, Jess was willing to experiment with ways to get him steady on the seat, but his patience had already run thin for the night. Sighing, he let Dean's upper body slump across the countertop, pulling his arms over as well to help prevent him from sliding down, not caring for Dean's level of comfort right then.
That finally done, he set about to brewing his ticket out of this nightmare situation, and Dean's way home. He took out the bag of coffee that had been used earlier on in the day, wondering for a moment what Dean's caffeine tolerance level was. Oh, who cares? Just make it extra strong, Gilmore style, then maybe he can get out of here faster.
He dumped a generous portion of coffee powder into the filter paper, sliding the tray back in place as he expertly flicked the switch into position, praying that the slow machine would be quick just this once.
Bingo. The scent of coffee quickly wafted through the diner as the thick black liquid began filling the awaiting glass pot. The aroma quickly grew thick, overwhelming even for Jess. Rory and Lorelai would love this...
"Rory..."
Jess turned, surprised to see Dean suddenly reanimated. Behind him, the coffeemaker had done its job well, and the pot was filled to the brim already, and Jess turned back to grab the pot and the largest mug in the diner.
"No, Dean, it's not Rory, it's coffee. Now, I know the two are easy to confuse, but I'm sure you know Rory doesn't smell this strong." Jess hated that he'd reverted to his usual scathing self with Dean, and he bit his tongue as he reminded himself just who had caused Dean to be the wreck he was right now.
Dean was looking more awake by the minute as Jess set the full mug of coffee before him. Guess that extra strong really worked.
Dean wrapped his hands around the mug of steaming hot liquid, letting the warmth spread through his hands, breathing in the familiar, long-lost aroma. "No, Rory usually smells..."
"...Sweet." The two boys'--men's-- eyes met as they both finished the sentence, each recognising the love mirrored in the other's eyes.
The silence in the diner became uncomfortable again. Dean sipped the coffee, a taste he'd never really liked yet had grown to love, as Jess busied himself with finding a thermos flask, and filling it with the hot coffee. There was a good amount of coffee left in the pot after the thermos was filled, and Jess, not knowing what else to do, poured it into another mug for himself.
Jess was reaching for the sugar to mask the strong bitter taste of the coffee-- Never really did like the taste.-- when Dean spoke again. "She seems happy."
Does he have to continue talking about her? But he knew it was what he needed, what they both needed. "Yeah, I think she is."
"I miss her so much."
Oh boy...
"It's not just her company. I know she still wants that friendship, and I want it too, but every time I see her... It hurts that I'm not the one touching her, that I'm not the one kissing her, the one that she's kissing back."
Jess was struck. Not just by the fact that in that last few seconds, Bag Boy had just spoken more words than he'd ever heard him speak before (although that was enough to strike even Lorelai Gilmore silent), but also by how he'd just given voice to the sentiments he had had just months ago.
Jess had never been more uncomfortable. He'd been in many a sticky situation before, but this... "I know."
Dean looked up at Jess, and fixed him with a stare that was half glare, half mutual understanding.
"Look, if it helps at all... I didn't know."
The expression in Dean's eyes changed, now half questioning, half knowing what he meant.
"I mean, when I first saw her, it was just... It blew me away. She was just sitting there, so open, so accepting, not judging me at all for what I was." He paused, biting his lower lip. "I didn't find out about you until after. But by then..."
"Would it have made a difference?" His voice was dripping with bitterness, and not just from the coffee.
He was trapped again. He let the question hang over him for awhile, thinking it thoroughly through. "I really don't know."
A rueful smile found its way to Dean's lips. "It's hard not to fall in love with her, isn't it?"
Jess didn't need to speak to let his answer be known.
"I want to blame you, but I don't know that I can."
Jess only continued listening, not able to say anything to this.
"The thing is, I'm not sure whether it was already all ending before you came. There was Tristan and all that--"
"The Chilton guy?"
"Yeah... Another one to join the club, I guess." Dean took another long sip from the mug, then continued. "So I don't really know if I was losing her before or after you came into the picture."
"You know she did love you. At one point or another, before or after I came."
"That I do know."
"Somehow... That's just got to be enough."
A moment of silence came between them again, then, "You sound like you've thought this through."
Jess chuckled slightly, then fell silent again. "Yeah, I think I have. I mean, I'm not... expecting things to stay this way forever. You grow up the way I did, you don't expect good things to last. Somehow, I know this'll probably end. Somewhere in the future, she'll meet someone else, fall for him instead, and there'll be nothing I can do about it. All I can do is just--"
"Treasure what you've got now."
Jess met Dean's eyes again. "Yeah."
"No, I mean it. Treasure her."
"Yeah. I know."
Dean drank up the last dregs of coffee from the mug, then stood, now sufficiently sober to go home. "Thanks for the coffee."
"No problem."
"Y'mind... not mentioning this to Rory? 'Cuz--"
"Yeah, sure."
Dean gave him a small smile of gratitude and turned to go. Jess watched him take a step, then added, "I'm sorry." Dean turned back to face Jess, as he continued. "This wasn't the way I wanted to get her. This wasn't the way I wanted things to happen."
Dean let that set in for a moment, then said, "Yeah, I know." The two nodded at each other, a mutual understanding formed between them. "Oh, and Jess?"
Jess had picked up the coffee pot and was going to clean it when he turned back to face Dean. "Yeah?"
"Take care of her."
"Yeah."
Dean turned to leave then, the bell tinkling behind him as the door shut. Jess sighed. Well, that's a doozy of a night. He turned back to head into the kitchen and wash up, when he suddenly heard someone barrelling down the stairs.
It was Luke in his flannel pajamas. He hefted a baseball bat in his hands, his hair hastily squished down under the baseball cap, his eyes crazed as he looked about the diner. He spotted his bemused nephew then, and quickly hid the baseball bat behind him.
"Something bother you, Uncle Luke?"
"No, no. Nothing's bothering me." He looked around the diner suspiciously. "Was... Lorelai in here earlier?"
"You mean aside from her three or more daily visits that sustain your business? No." That answer seemed to satisfy Luke, but all the resisted retorts from his encounter with Dean had to find an escape somehow. Luke was just the unfortunate innocent victim. "Not unless you were planning to have a secret rendezvous here with her between 'Scream' and 'Scary Movie'."
"What?!" Luke had, by now, mastered the state of being flustered and bewildered and utterly confused all at the same time (Seventeen years of knowing Lorelai Gilmore did that to a person.), and he was smack in that state right now. "No-- you know what-- Never mind." He stopped, then spotted the empty pot in Jess's hands, and the open bag of coffee next to the coffeemaker. "Were you... making coffee?"
"Yeah."
The look of bewilderment grew on Luke's face.
"So I was thirsty."
The look of bewilderment on Luke's face was now King Kong-size.
"What're you doing up at this hour anyway?" Jess asked, expertly changing the subject. It was well past two now. "Aren't you normally snoring the building down by this time?"
"Hey, I do not snore!" Luke snapped back at his nephew. Then he grew awkward, his voice now a mumble. "And... I smelled coffee."
"So you decided to come down and bean in the head of the dastardly coffee-making intruder."
"No, it's just-- I was-- Lorelai's broken into here to make coffee before, and I'm now just taking precautions," Luke answered, his voice now indignant.
"Okay."
Luke's eyes narrowed at his nephew. Jess didn't usually just let things end like this...
"I gotta go clean this," Jess said, indicating the coffee pot.
Luke nodded his assent, still wary. Something had to be coming...
"Oh, and by the way?" Jess stood half in, half out of the kitchen. "Most people would take precautions with a condom, not a baseball bat."
There it was.
"I'll see you in the morning." Jess retreated into the kitchen, nonchalant, and having fulfilled his quota of wisecracks for the day.
Luke was left standing alone in his diner. "I hate it when he does that..." Sighing, he hefted the baseball bat again, and retreated back up the stairs.
* * *
The diner was bustling by the time Lorelai and Rory Gilmore entered for breakfast. The moment they sat down at the last available table, Jess swooped down upon them, setting down two large coffee mugs and a thermos flask of freshly reheated coffee which he had already uncapped.
Rory grasped the thermos flask of coffee, breathing in its heady aroma. "Wow... Extra strong, Gilmore style. Mom, look!"
She thrust the flask at her mother, and Lorelai inhaled its smell. "Oh my god... So this is what heaven smells like!"
Jess bent down to Rory for the ritualistic morning kiss. As always, when their lips touched, the electricity tingled throughout his body, and he found it difficult to keep on his feet.
"Treasure her." I will, Bag Boy.
Jess straightened his body, then rushed back to the counter to pick up the next order. He spotted Dean, standing outside the market, looking in at the diner. Their eyes met again, and the mutual nod was shared again.
I will...
Dean continued his way to the market, as Jess stepped away from the counter to serve the plates to the diner's customers. He passed by the Gilmores' table again after depositing the orders, and stopped to address Lorelai. "By the way, Luke has flannel pajamas."
Lorelai's eyes lit up with the provision of fresh ammunition to use against the unknowing diner owner who was currently safely ensconced in his kitchen, as Jess walked back to the counter, smirk on his face, calling in the Gilmores' breakfast order to Luke.
When he turned back, Dean was out of sight and already in the market. Jess paused for another moment, reflecting on the peculiar night he had just had.
Time to move on and live our lives, Bag Boy... You and me both.
You and me both.
* * *
A/N: Love it? Hate it? You know what to do... so click away! :0)