Kerai

Chapter 3: To Dream

By Kaen

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Golden, crisp leaves sailed carelessly on the cold wind that day. The fluttered about, twirling every so often as if flaunting their magnificent coloring. They were soon joined by leaves of orange, crimson, and tan in their dance across the clear blue sky. Sudden gusts would sweep them higher into the air every so often, filling the air with the music of autumn. A merry song it would have been if not for the cutting currents that penetrated even the thickest of wool!

However, as if it were they were taking a break from its flamboyant routine, a single leaf of a peculiarly deep red drifted down and landed near a dirty pair of feet. Dust and mud caked the small appendages, trails of it even running as high as the bony knees. If one would raise their eyes further, they would see a tattered and thin skirt that barely clung to the child's body slight body, being of a color that was once presumed to be pink but was now gray. It was violently tugged at by the wind, outlining a malnourished side further. Bones of the hip and ribs could now be easily seen through the worn fabric, the entire image all but radiating a pitiful message. But the child herself remained silent, small hands clutched defiantly at her sides, as if speaking a word would condemn her to an unknown hell. Her chilling blue eyes were glassy and shimmering with tears that threatened to spill over the weak gates and her hair was wild and unbound, whipping across her young, but sullen face.

The girl stood still and silent for quite some time before anyone noted her presence, nearly completely hidden by the shadows of the balding tree. She simply watched and waited, but for what, not even she knew. Another strong gust rushed across the browning landscape, causing the leaves that had landed to rush into its dance again and crows to leap up from the branches above high her and take to flight, cawing as if in protest of the rotten day. The black birds were not the only one shaken by this, for the girl beneath them grasped the fraying scrap of fabric that held up the torn shirt with a weak hand, exerting what little strength that she had left. She gritted her teeth together as if by doing so would ward off the sting of the wind, her tears finally succeeding in seeping out and searing her cheeks with a mild warmth that felt like more like a burn. The sensation caused more tears to leak out, temporarily warming the dirty face before their heat faded away and was replaced by the customary chill.

A sad picture this presented indeed and finally a passerby on the nearby path noticed the child who stood on shaking knees, grasping her shoulder with a pale hand as she wept noiselessly. The tattered merchant stared in disbelief, lowering the reins of his oxen as he crept cautiously out of the wagon.

"Little girl?" he called softly, taking a slow step towards her. His words did not seem to reach the child and he was quite distressed by this for it appeared that the child was looking directly at him.

"Little girl!" he called again, louder this time since he was frustrated by the first failure.

Much to the merchants relief, the girl's eyes snapped into focus and locked with his wide hazel ones. He then noticed the child's unusual eyes, to use an understatement. Wide icy blue orbs penetrated his own, and he felt as though she were peering into his very soul, like he had been laid open like a book upon a table. A chill that was not induced by the weather shook him and he found himself trembling violently. Somehow, just the mere presence of the girl seemed to invoke an inexplicable primal fear. 

Suddenly, tangled strands shoulder length whitish-blue hair blew across the girl's face, obscuring her disturbing eyes as they rolled backwards. The starving body dropped to the ground with an thud that was unheard because of the wind's increasingly strident howls. The merchant cringed as he observed the child's collapse, her body bending in nearly detrimental ways to compensate to the unearthed roots of the rough ground.

Justifiably alarmed at this, the newly revitalized man rushed forward and scooped the girl into his arms, carefully supporting the slender neck. He held her at a distance, searching for any signs that life was still within its inadequate casings. But only the girls knotted hair showed any signs of movement, it being carried by the rising winds. He face remained pale and placid with no color to the cheeks nor any other motion that suggested that respiration was taking place. Finally, he held the child's body close to his, resting his ear above her heart, a listened intensely. With an unnerving silence followed the action, the middle-aged man could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Could it be possible that just like that the kid had died? No, wait… One beat, two beats… three.

'Yes, the girl is still alive, for how much longer?' he asked himself. Resolving to not wait and find out, he scooped up the limp body and held it delicately in his strong arms, much like how one would hold a sculpture made of glass. Carefully placed footsteps advanced towards the small wagon and upon reaching it ceased. The child was lowered carefully inside, finding refuge under two thick blankets when the man pulled them over her.

After watching for several minutes, the merchant noticed the wan cheeks gradually had their color returned to them, but did not stop at a healthy pink. They instead flared to a burning red and the sounds of labored breathing, occasionally interrupted with a small whimper or cough, were faintly heard.

Looking on the girl with pity, the merchant commented softly, "You are a terribly unfortunate child, aren't you? Your only luck is that the capitol is nearby. I'm sure that they'll take good care of a pretty girl like you there!"

Laughing softly at his own cruel joke, the merchant clambered aboard the cart with some difficulty and flicked the reigns against the ox's wide back. There was a faint trail of dust that arose from the wooden tires, but it was just as soon carried away by the rising storm.

'…Larva…'

He awoke with a start, finding himself gazing directly into Miyu's quizzical eyes. She had rested both her hands on his cloaked shoulders and her face lingered dangerously close to his own, her weight resting in his lap. He swallowed nervously, trying to calm his racing heart from the startling sight that he had been greeted with when he first cracked open his eyes. His eyes widened as Miyu leaned in even closer to him and shifted her hands to rest on either side of his startled face, causing his heart to race even faster. She touched her forehead to his and her lips were so close that he could feel their short exhales of warm air on his face. Her had eyelids lowered over her golden shining orbs and the rest of her face seemed to relax, save the slight flush across cheeks.

"M-Miyu?" he stuttered, leaning back to put more distance between them.

She sighed raggedly, folding her legs underneath her as she lowered herself back into her servant's lap. She reached out and tugged on a piece of the cloak adorning his strong arms and, having gone through this game more times to count, he knowingly wrapped his arms around her. This blanketed her in a protective comfort and she sighed again, nestling against his sturdy body. He waited patiently for her to begin her explanation, but when it finally did come, he wasn't sure what to do next.

"What sort of dream were you having, Larva? I was cold all of a sudden and woke up."

He blinked in surprise, at first taken aback and then pondering her question carefully. A thoughtful silence that was so typical fo him followed afterwards, his face forming that of one deep in thought.

His eyebrow's knitting together, he replied after some deliberation, "Shinma do not dream, Miyu. Perhaps it was your own dream that had awoken you?"

She shook her head in defiance, they both knew that he was lying. She made this knowledge clear by grasping his upper arm and squeezing it tightly. It spoke a painfully clear message: "I don't believe you. Tell me the truth this time."

Sighing in defeat, he reluctantly admitted, "I was having a strange dream about a young girl. I don't know who she was, but…"

"What is it?" Miyu pried, the jealously that she had felt before creeping into her.

It just wasn't fair that Larva knew more about her than she did, yet she knew hardly anything of Larva! Added his own reluctance to talk about himself, Miyu wondered if he were perhaps ashamed or hiding something? She already had pieced together much of his life as an Occidental Shinma, but even then it had been something that she had unfortunately discovered on her own. But still she questioned, was there something more that she didn't understand that Larva had been carefully concealing for all this time?

"The girl looked like me, to an extent… The same hair color, the same strange eyes..."

"Someone who looked like you? Coincidence, you think?" she suggested, interrupting Larva's quiet recollection.

He looked at her thoughtfully, considering her idea, when he noticed that they were no longer in the realm where he had drifted to sleep, but was instead resting atop the Miyu's torii overlooking the cemetery. Startling blue eyes lined with thick black eyelashes scanned the area briefly before falling on the bright city lights not too distant from where they were sitting.

Above, the stars brightly speckled the dark heavens, though barely visible through the thick blanket of clouds that were partially obscuring the midnight sky. Carrying these obtrusive clouds, however, was the invisible wind that had predominance over all elements of nature. Smiting fires, pushing the waves, and uprooting the earth if it so desired, the entire situation struck Larva to be very much like the predicaments he constantly witnessed plaguing the human spirit. Perhaps there were bright moments that shone through the clouds of misery on even in the darkest days, but he too often saw the tragic fates of the unfortunate soul whose gloom is not chased away by the sunrise of the new day. When the wind of the soul is not present to push those blackened clouds out of mind, the other elements overtake this realm and turn it into a void wasteland that knows neither happiness nor sadness. They world is gray, a twilight of nothingness. A world where time has no meaning and death is always welcome. Indeed, he found himself in this gray place, knowing nothing more than the duty of serving his mistress.

"This girl interests me," Miyu stated, smiling one of her small docile smiles that always had so much thought behind them. "Perhaps we could find her?"

Larva continued gazing up at the gray clouds that, he now noticed, were bloated with the promise rain. The first drop fell, striking his fair-skinned face and splattering into several smaller droplets before running off his smooth face. A few more cooled drops landed about him, turning the places where they struck the bright torii to the color of blood and the stone path far below him to a deep gray, nearly black.

Still vigilantly monitoring the drops that fell, Larva retorted with an uncharacteristic bitterness, "There is no need for that, Miyu."

"Why not?" she asked quickly, spinning around to look at Larva's face, which showed the faintest hints of a scowl in the way the skin creased. Although the scowl was not directed at Miyu, she couldn't help but feel the resentful emotions that her companion was transmitting involuntarily by their blood-founded connection.

Without hesitation, he replied knowingly, "That girl has been dead for a very long time. What has passed has passed, has it not? There is no use."

To himself, he silently questioned, 'How did I know that…? I didn't know who that girl was, let alone her living status!'

Miyu frowned in disappointment, a disappointment that was borne both from Larva's snappy elucidation and well as frustration of unsatisfied curiosity. The way that his seemingly firm resolve had trailed off in the last sentence had sparked that jealously that Miyu could usually keep dormant. Determined to not pry further, however, Miyu simply turned away and stood, announcing that they should return to her realm since the rain was becoming too heavy for her liking.

'Rain… Water- salty water that makes up the vast ocean. At night, you could lose yourself in, both physically and mentally. But, to throw one's soul to the waves… It seems as though would be far too easy. That's why… I don't like the rain.'

Such were Miyu's eccentric thoughts as she felt her body vanishing for the human realm. Larva watched her go, remaining where he had been, being so comfortable in the rain. Why he felt such a connection with the rain was lost to him, but he was certain that it must have had some significance to him at some point. He closed his eyes, his face completely relaxed as the drops or water hit him, causing his eyelashes to clump together, while the rain dripped down his face, following the curve of his jaw line to his chin where it then streamed onto his dampening cloak. Slick black fabric began to cling to his slender body, making his shiver slightly when the water began making contact with his concealed skin. In the rain, Larva's face was an even more pale than usual. Strands of wispy light blue hair were turned to a much darker color as they welcomed the moisture and began clinging to Larva's head and brow.

But he didn't seem to care that he was soon drenched and shivering; in fact, in a curious sense, it felt good- sort of like his soul was being fulfilled even while his body was becoming cold and damp. His lips formed a melancholy smile. It was a smile that represented his constant inner battle between what he wanted to do and what it was required that he do. Larva would willingly stay in the same position until the downpour ceased, if Miyu hadn't requested that he return with her.

Standing up and casting one last longing glance to the dark sky above, currently streaked with the trails of pouring rain, he returned to his previous thoughts: 'Rain is the embodiment of the tears that fall from heaven. They are the tears borne of human sorrow, the temporary release from a constant suffering that is carried away by the wind, which only flares up at inappropriate times to chase this escape away. Living is pain. The only release from this pain is to abandon everything dear to you. And as for those who are not living, but are not dead, well, even after abandoning everything and desiring nothing, there is no escape.'

With this, he allowed his body to fade away into Miyu's dismal realm, although his thoughts lingered far elsewhere. Preoccupied with such matters, it would seem strange that Larva could have concentrated on or noticed anything else. But, as he was crossing the border between the dimensions, he could have sworn he heard something or someone… calling to him. It was not voice from somewhere near him, but rather, a voice that echoed within his mind that sounded somehow, yet irrationally, familiar.

'Larva… Larva… Larva…!'

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I hope you enjoyed the new chapter! I really worked hard on this one to get it to come out remotely right. It's difficult to gradually tie in the plot for me- that's why I'm proud of this chapter. I've also decided to keep things as html files, rather than word document files because they kill my ellipses (Arigatou, Renn-san, for pointing this out!). I had a lot of them in the last chapter, particularly near the end where Miyu was crying, but ffn completely butchered it. T.T Oh well, I hope this chapter does better! Please review and let me know your comments on the fic so far or any suggestions you have to help me improve my writing. Thanks!

-Kaen ^^