Toxic Chapter 1: Sloth
There is nothing. Just a gray eternity, distant yet close. Then, like a fuzzy holovid player, shapes emerged and faded, increasing in clarity each time. Suddenly, a noise.
huurum shoom
Breathing, heavy and mechanized. Labored. Painful.
~Who's breathing?~
No Answers. Then, the images snapped into focus. A life, in snatches of emotion. Memory, Present, Prophesy. Helplessly intermingled, impossibly blended, horribly joined.
Innocence, Purity.
A mother, Shimi, laying cool cloths onto the back of a small, trembling, blonde-haired boy, soothing whip welts.
~Mommy~
Begging, borrowing, stealing mechanical parts to build a Podracer. The fastest ever built, in fact.
huurum shoom
Rescue, relief, victory, apprehension. Devastation.
"You will be a Jedi, I promise."
Beautiful Queens, Chocolate eyes, Bright Futures.
~Was that all really ten years ago?~
hurrum shoom
Majestic Temples, New Faces, New Life. Calm Aquamarine eyes. Wisdom. Seemingly emotionless. Serene.
~My Master~
Peace, The Force.
hurrum shoom
Rapidly approaching Darkness. Horror, Fear
Wrongful, Unfair death.
Revenge. The Dark Side.
Pain, Suffering, Anguish.
hurrum shoom
~I don't like this dream anymore, I want to wake up~
Age, Power, Respect. All the answers, none of the questions.
~Who is that breathing? I want to wake up~
hurrum shoom
Midnight-hued Masks.
~I want to wake up~
hurrum shoom
Swirls of black leather and dark fabrics.
~I want to wake up~
hurrum shoom
Running a scarlet lightsaber blade through his Master.
~Please let me wake up~
hurrum shoom
Enjoying it.
~Help me~
"ANAKIN!"
+++++++
"ANAKIN!" The cry came again. Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Padawan, attempted to sit bolt straight up in his bed, keeping his eyes firmly closed in fear of what might bee seen. He cried out in desperation as he realised he could not sit up; there were two strong arms pinning his shoulders to the bed. "Anakin, wake up, please," the voice begged. Anakin ceased his struggles and felt relief flood his half-sleeping body. Snapping his eyes open he stared deep into the expressive, worried orbs of his Master, who was leaning over him.
"Master!" Anakin cried, surprised. "What are you doing?" He wriggled away from Obi-Wan's grip on his shoulders, and desperately tried to wipe the dream from his mind. Obi-Wan continued to survey him carefully.
"You were screaming in your sleep, begging for someone to help you. I couldn't let you carry on dreaming such a dream that would give you so much anguish," he answered carefully. "I was worried for you."
"It was just a nightmare, Master," Anakin stated, sitting up and leaning against the headboard to his sleep-couch." Obi-Wan sighed and sunk on to the edge of the bed and run a hand through his hair before leaning forward and resting his head into his hands. He suddenly looked very tired.
"I know, Ani," he murmured gently. "But I just don't ever want to see you in such pain again." Anakin had no response. He gazed to the other side of the bed, keeping his line of sight away from that of his Master's. He noticed that there was a chair positioned to the side of him, and a rapidly discarded book lying on the floor.
"You were here all night, weren't you?" It was not a question. Obi- Wan looked up sharply.
"Yes." He stood and walked over to the door, graceful and poised as always, where he turned and looked back at the young man. "I was worried about you. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in such a long time. I'm there to help you, though, if you need it." Anakin simply looked at him in return. Obi-Wan offered a small smile. "I'll make some breakfast for us. Be ready in half an hour." With that he swept out the door.
Anakin looked out after him wistfully, before flopping back onto the bed.
++++++
As a rule, Obi-Wan never whistled. Or sang. But on this morning, he was doing both as Anakin slid gracelessly yet silently into a chair, forty- five minutes later. Anakin didn't recognise the tune, but he liked it anyway. Obi-Wan paused to check on something cooking over a flame and was rewarded with an enthusiastic round of applause. Spinning round, he held the look of a startled rabbit for a few moments before restoring his Jedi calm.
"Oh," he said impassively, "I didn't see you there, Anakin"
"Bravo, Master! Excellent!" Anakin positively beamed at his Master's discomfort. "So, am I in the presence of the newest member of the Jedi choir then?" Obi-Wan's eyes flashed.
"They wish."
Anakin's rare laughter filled the kitchen area. Obi-Wan reached over and unceremoniously dumped a very appetising plate of food in front of Anakin.
~I'm starving~ Anakin noted briefly. He hadn't eaten a proper meal for ages. Worry had stopped him before and deep grief after that. And then those wonderful days with Padme . . .
"So, are you sure your ready to go back to classes today?" Obi-Wan's question shook Anakin out of his memories. He gave a charming but pained smile in return before answering.
"I'm very sure. I've probably missed almost everything already set this term. I'll never catch up otherwise." Anakin began the huge task of devouring the mountain of food in front of him. Obi-Wan watched him, sipping on a large bowl-like mug of a black, aromatic liquid that the pair had discovered while on a mission to a far planet. Anakin couldn't stand the bitter taste, but Obi-Wan obviously loved it. The intense scrutiny of those huge stormy eyes over the rim eventually stopped Anakin's quest to finish the mound of food. "What?"
"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Obi-Wan pressed, setting down the mug carefully. Anakin sighed.
"I'll be fine, Master. Stop worrying about me, I'm not a little kid anymore" He placed down his fork and regarded Obi-Wan seriously. "I'm nearly old enough for the trials myself now." A ghost of a smile flittered across Obi-Wan's features briefly.
"Nearly being the operative word. And, until then, It is my official duty to worry about you, and I'm not going to fail the tradition." With that, he picked up the mug again. Opposite on the table, Anakin sighed over- dramatically and re-claimed his fork.
~It's only because he knows you're already better than him. You're the more powerful Jedi~ a little voice in Anakin's head whispered. Anakin paused, shocked for an instant, his prosthetic arm held stiffly. ~Where in the seven levels of Sith Hell did that come from?~ His rational mind pondered. Across, Obi-Wan noticed his hesitation, but translated it for something else.
"What is it, Ani? Is you arm uncomfortable? Do you feel sick?" Obi- Wan deposited the mug again and sped round to Ani, laying his hand on his forehead and gently probing Anakin's mind through the bond.
//Ani? Are you alright?// Obi-Wan called telepathically. Involuntarily, Anakin felt his mind shields smash down, silencing the communication. To cover the slip he opened his eyes and smiled apologetically at the Knight.
"Sorry, Master. I was caught up in my own thoughts. And I guess I'm just a little tired still." Anakin held Obi-Wan's gaze impassively. Apprehensive, the older Jedi removed his hand from Anakin's head slowly. Anakin, in all honestly was slightly sorry for the loss. It was mid way through Coruscant's orbit, and blistering hot and Obi-Wan's hands were blissfully cold.
"But, you're sure your arm's not causing you any pain? Is it working well?" Obi-Wan pressed. Anakin rolled his eyes.
"Well, I was kind've attached to my old one, Y'know, but I'm getting used to it; it's fine." He grinned at Obi-Wan, who returned it with a fleeting smile. Anakin picked up a glass of bright green fruit juice and went to take a sip.
hurrum shoom
The memory of the mechanized breathing from his dream sliced through Anakin's skull. He felt the glass slip from his fingers and dimly realised that it had shattered on the floor. Focus rushed back to him and he gasped. Obi-Wan was by his side instantly, supporting him, but he stood quickly and sped to get absorbent toweling before Obi-Wan had a chance to probe his mind properly.
"No, It's alright, Ani. I'll do that. You go to bed, I'll tell your tutors that you won't be into your classes today. Don't worry yourself, Anakin." Obi-Wan reasoned, beginning to pick up some of the broken shards of glass on the floor.
"No!" Anakin yelled instantly. He stalked over to Obi-Wan and, unconsciously, showed him hard. Unprepared for the attack, and not forewarned by the Force, Obi-Wan stumbled backwards, the action causing glass he had already picked up to slice into his palms. "Stop being so over protective of me! And never talk about my visit to Naboo; it's absolutely, unquestionably none of your business," Anakin snapped angrily. He stopped abruptly, as his mind caught up with his mouth suddenly. He turned wide, horrified eyes towards Obi-Wan expecting anger, annoyance. Or, worst of all, disappointment. But yet, there were no signs of emotion on Obi-Wan's face as he looked back. "Oh, Master, I . . ."
"Keep your anger in check. I'm sorry I enquired. I will leave you to finish your breakfast and then you will go to your classes. Do you understand me, Padawan?" Obi-Wan's tone was short, clipped, emotionless, but Anakin didn't fail to miss the change in title he gave him. He winced slightly.
"Yes Master." He gave the standard reply in the regular way, and watched as his Master walked across the main living area. "Master, I'm . . ."
"Just go to class, Padawan." Obi-Wan cut him off with a heavy voice. Anakin was glad he couldn't see the emotion in his eyes.
~Well done, Anakin. You're doing brilliantly in your quest to drive away the one person on your side in the temple~ he thought to himself. A small chuckle sounded in his mind.
~Yeah, well. He deserved it.~
There is nothing. Just a gray eternity, distant yet close. Then, like a fuzzy holovid player, shapes emerged and faded, increasing in clarity each time. Suddenly, a noise.
huurum shoom
Breathing, heavy and mechanized. Labored. Painful.
~Who's breathing?~
No Answers. Then, the images snapped into focus. A life, in snatches of emotion. Memory, Present, Prophesy. Helplessly intermingled, impossibly blended, horribly joined.
Innocence, Purity.
A mother, Shimi, laying cool cloths onto the back of a small, trembling, blonde-haired boy, soothing whip welts.
~Mommy~
Begging, borrowing, stealing mechanical parts to build a Podracer. The fastest ever built, in fact.
huurum shoom
Rescue, relief, victory, apprehension. Devastation.
"You will be a Jedi, I promise."
Beautiful Queens, Chocolate eyes, Bright Futures.
~Was that all really ten years ago?~
hurrum shoom
Majestic Temples, New Faces, New Life. Calm Aquamarine eyes. Wisdom. Seemingly emotionless. Serene.
~My Master~
Peace, The Force.
hurrum shoom
Rapidly approaching Darkness. Horror, Fear
Wrongful, Unfair death.
Revenge. The Dark Side.
Pain, Suffering, Anguish.
hurrum shoom
~I don't like this dream anymore, I want to wake up~
Age, Power, Respect. All the answers, none of the questions.
~Who is that breathing? I want to wake up~
hurrum shoom
Midnight-hued Masks.
~I want to wake up~
hurrum shoom
Swirls of black leather and dark fabrics.
~I want to wake up~
hurrum shoom
Running a scarlet lightsaber blade through his Master.
~Please let me wake up~
hurrum shoom
Enjoying it.
~Help me~
"ANAKIN!"
+++++++
"ANAKIN!" The cry came again. Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Padawan, attempted to sit bolt straight up in his bed, keeping his eyes firmly closed in fear of what might bee seen. He cried out in desperation as he realised he could not sit up; there were two strong arms pinning his shoulders to the bed. "Anakin, wake up, please," the voice begged. Anakin ceased his struggles and felt relief flood his half-sleeping body. Snapping his eyes open he stared deep into the expressive, worried orbs of his Master, who was leaning over him.
"Master!" Anakin cried, surprised. "What are you doing?" He wriggled away from Obi-Wan's grip on his shoulders, and desperately tried to wipe the dream from his mind. Obi-Wan continued to survey him carefully.
"You were screaming in your sleep, begging for someone to help you. I couldn't let you carry on dreaming such a dream that would give you so much anguish," he answered carefully. "I was worried for you."
"It was just a nightmare, Master," Anakin stated, sitting up and leaning against the headboard to his sleep-couch." Obi-Wan sighed and sunk on to the edge of the bed and run a hand through his hair before leaning forward and resting his head into his hands. He suddenly looked very tired.
"I know, Ani," he murmured gently. "But I just don't ever want to see you in such pain again." Anakin had no response. He gazed to the other side of the bed, keeping his line of sight away from that of his Master's. He noticed that there was a chair positioned to the side of him, and a rapidly discarded book lying on the floor.
"You were here all night, weren't you?" It was not a question. Obi- Wan looked up sharply.
"Yes." He stood and walked over to the door, graceful and poised as always, where he turned and looked back at the young man. "I was worried about you. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in such a long time. I'm there to help you, though, if you need it." Anakin simply looked at him in return. Obi-Wan offered a small smile. "I'll make some breakfast for us. Be ready in half an hour." With that he swept out the door.
Anakin looked out after him wistfully, before flopping back onto the bed.
++++++
As a rule, Obi-Wan never whistled. Or sang. But on this morning, he was doing both as Anakin slid gracelessly yet silently into a chair, forty- five minutes later. Anakin didn't recognise the tune, but he liked it anyway. Obi-Wan paused to check on something cooking over a flame and was rewarded with an enthusiastic round of applause. Spinning round, he held the look of a startled rabbit for a few moments before restoring his Jedi calm.
"Oh," he said impassively, "I didn't see you there, Anakin"
"Bravo, Master! Excellent!" Anakin positively beamed at his Master's discomfort. "So, am I in the presence of the newest member of the Jedi choir then?" Obi-Wan's eyes flashed.
"They wish."
Anakin's rare laughter filled the kitchen area. Obi-Wan reached over and unceremoniously dumped a very appetising plate of food in front of Anakin.
~I'm starving~ Anakin noted briefly. He hadn't eaten a proper meal for ages. Worry had stopped him before and deep grief after that. And then those wonderful days with Padme . . .
"So, are you sure your ready to go back to classes today?" Obi-Wan's question shook Anakin out of his memories. He gave a charming but pained smile in return before answering.
"I'm very sure. I've probably missed almost everything already set this term. I'll never catch up otherwise." Anakin began the huge task of devouring the mountain of food in front of him. Obi-Wan watched him, sipping on a large bowl-like mug of a black, aromatic liquid that the pair had discovered while on a mission to a far planet. Anakin couldn't stand the bitter taste, but Obi-Wan obviously loved it. The intense scrutiny of those huge stormy eyes over the rim eventually stopped Anakin's quest to finish the mound of food. "What?"
"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Obi-Wan pressed, setting down the mug carefully. Anakin sighed.
"I'll be fine, Master. Stop worrying about me, I'm not a little kid anymore" He placed down his fork and regarded Obi-Wan seriously. "I'm nearly old enough for the trials myself now." A ghost of a smile flittered across Obi-Wan's features briefly.
"Nearly being the operative word. And, until then, It is my official duty to worry about you, and I'm not going to fail the tradition." With that, he picked up the mug again. Opposite on the table, Anakin sighed over- dramatically and re-claimed his fork.
~It's only because he knows you're already better than him. You're the more powerful Jedi~ a little voice in Anakin's head whispered. Anakin paused, shocked for an instant, his prosthetic arm held stiffly. ~Where in the seven levels of Sith Hell did that come from?~ His rational mind pondered. Across, Obi-Wan noticed his hesitation, but translated it for something else.
"What is it, Ani? Is you arm uncomfortable? Do you feel sick?" Obi- Wan deposited the mug again and sped round to Ani, laying his hand on his forehead and gently probing Anakin's mind through the bond.
//Ani? Are you alright?// Obi-Wan called telepathically. Involuntarily, Anakin felt his mind shields smash down, silencing the communication. To cover the slip he opened his eyes and smiled apologetically at the Knight.
"Sorry, Master. I was caught up in my own thoughts. And I guess I'm just a little tired still." Anakin held Obi-Wan's gaze impassively. Apprehensive, the older Jedi removed his hand from Anakin's head slowly. Anakin, in all honestly was slightly sorry for the loss. It was mid way through Coruscant's orbit, and blistering hot and Obi-Wan's hands were blissfully cold.
"But, you're sure your arm's not causing you any pain? Is it working well?" Obi-Wan pressed. Anakin rolled his eyes.
"Well, I was kind've attached to my old one, Y'know, but I'm getting used to it; it's fine." He grinned at Obi-Wan, who returned it with a fleeting smile. Anakin picked up a glass of bright green fruit juice and went to take a sip.
hurrum shoom
The memory of the mechanized breathing from his dream sliced through Anakin's skull. He felt the glass slip from his fingers and dimly realised that it had shattered on the floor. Focus rushed back to him and he gasped. Obi-Wan was by his side instantly, supporting him, but he stood quickly and sped to get absorbent toweling before Obi-Wan had a chance to probe his mind properly.
"No, It's alright, Ani. I'll do that. You go to bed, I'll tell your tutors that you won't be into your classes today. Don't worry yourself, Anakin." Obi-Wan reasoned, beginning to pick up some of the broken shards of glass on the floor.
"No!" Anakin yelled instantly. He stalked over to Obi-Wan and, unconsciously, showed him hard. Unprepared for the attack, and not forewarned by the Force, Obi-Wan stumbled backwards, the action causing glass he had already picked up to slice into his palms. "Stop being so over protective of me! And never talk about my visit to Naboo; it's absolutely, unquestionably none of your business," Anakin snapped angrily. He stopped abruptly, as his mind caught up with his mouth suddenly. He turned wide, horrified eyes towards Obi-Wan expecting anger, annoyance. Or, worst of all, disappointment. But yet, there were no signs of emotion on Obi-Wan's face as he looked back. "Oh, Master, I . . ."
"Keep your anger in check. I'm sorry I enquired. I will leave you to finish your breakfast and then you will go to your classes. Do you understand me, Padawan?" Obi-Wan's tone was short, clipped, emotionless, but Anakin didn't fail to miss the change in title he gave him. He winced slightly.
"Yes Master." He gave the standard reply in the regular way, and watched as his Master walked across the main living area. "Master, I'm . . ."
"Just go to class, Padawan." Obi-Wan cut him off with a heavy voice. Anakin was glad he couldn't see the emotion in his eyes.
~Well done, Anakin. You're doing brilliantly in your quest to drive away the one person on your side in the temple~ he thought to himself. A small chuckle sounded in his mind.
~Yeah, well. He deserved it.~