Toxic Chapter 6: Anger
Obi-Wan Kenobi closed his eyes and waited for the agony. The bitter, gut twisting pain that came with the blow from his Padawan's blade to his neck as they stood there in the programmed rain of Coruscant's top street level. The burning rip of pure energy as it coursed through his body, fueled by the wrath of one that he loved dearly. The death strike from his beloved Padawan.
But closing his eyes didn't help. The Force screamed at him, desperately sending warnings to one of its brightest and best to move, defend, survive. He saw the blade swing in a high arc, making a direct, strong descent towards his neck and heard the gentle buzz of the energy of the actual weapon, close to his right ear as it sped closer and . . . stopped.
Several moments passed, Obi-Wan feeling the close proximity of the blade to his body through the Force, his eyes still closed firmly. A small sound reached him suddenly and brought him back to his senses. He opened his turquoise eyes slowly, and the sight he saw broke his heart.
Anakin stood before him, holding the lightsaber so close to Obi-Wan that the Knight could feel the heat from the glowing blade, his body in a perfect battle stance; rigid, defensive and slightly bent to give his arms the ultimate power he could manage. His face however was a study in misery. Despair and heartbreak fought for control in his cobalt eyes as they sparkled with unshed tears under the dim light, his features a picture of pure misery. He made quite an image there, under the rain.
The small sound resonated again: a tiny moan of desperation as Anakin fought for control of his emotions and actions. Obi-Wan regarded him carefully, not moving at all, barely breathing. Just watching the struggle within the younger man. Without warning, Anakin seemed to crumble, letting the lightsaber tumble from his numb fingers, disengaging as it fell, missing the Knight's flesh and landing with a dull, wet click as it hit the stone below.
Trembling slightly, Obi-Wan held his arms out to the younger man who stood across from him, watching him carefully, unsure but hopeful. Then, with a sob, he launched himself into the proffered arms and wrapped his own around the Knight desperately, clinging to Obi-Wan like a lifeline in the middle of a dark Ocean. Obi-Wan in return held the Padawan and murmured soothing, wordless mumblings to him, unaware of the tears sliding down his own face. Carefully, he slid down the wall behind him so they sat on the wet stone beneath them, Obi-Wan rocking Anakin like a frightened child all the way.
"Master," Anakin sobbed, unable to say anything else. Obi-Wan dipped his head slightly to speak directly into Anakin's ear.
"Shhh, Padawan. You're safe, you're here and I'm here. Shhh," He murmured, clutching the blonde head to his shoulder reassuringly, rocking. Anakin looked up sharply at him, swiping his real hand across his bloodshot, horrified eyes.
"Padawan? I don't . . ." he mumbled, scrambling to his feet quickly and taking a step away from Obi-Wan and turned his back to him.
"Yes, Ani? You don't . . ." Obi-Wan prompted, standing as well, albeit far more gracefully and slowly.
"I don't deserve to be your Padawan," Anakin whispered, barely audible. "I've killed, Master. Murdered. Slaughtered innocent children to try and make myself feel better." Anakin stared at his hands, one real, one prosthetic. "I felt their blood on my hands, warm and thick and . . ."
Obi-Wan's eyes bore into his back. "And what, Anakin?" he asked quietly.
"And I relished it." There was a pregnant silence after Anakin's announcement, in which Obi-Wan simply stared at his hunched shoulders, expression unreadable.
"Who, Anakin?" He asked finally. Slowly, the younger man turned so he could look upon his Master.
"The Tuscan Raiders on Tatooine," he confessed sadly, staring at the floor, changing his mind against looking at Obi-Wan. The Knight sighed and ran a hand through his soaking hair, barely noticing that the rain had briefly stopped.
"Would you do it again, Anakin?" Was his fearful question. The Padawan looked at the Knight sharply, staring deep into his eyes.
"Yes. If it was for someone I cared enough for."
"Your Mother," Obi-Wan deduced, speaking the words carefully. Anakin's expression didn't change as he moved closer to Obi-Wan, ignoring the statement.
"If someone laid a finger on either Padme or you, I'd gladly hunt them down and make them pay with their own blood. Yes, I'd kill again."
"The Tuscan Raiders killed your Mother so you went and killed them in return," Obi-Wan stated, watching for the reaction on Anakin, staring deep into the Padawan's eyes. On cue, Anakin's face twisted in anger and he pulled away from Obi-Wan's questioning gaze.
"It's not fair! She died in my arms! In my arms! And I couldn't do anything about it! I felt so helpless!" he cried, throwing the arms he spoke of into the air and spinning away, his back facing Obi-Wan again.
"I know," Obi-Wan whispered. Angered, Anakin spun back and glared at Obi-Wan.
"No, No you don't! How could you? She died lying in my arms, Obi- Wan!" he almost screamed at the older man who in return sank back down to the pavement and stared of into the distance sadly.
"It hurts, doesn't it? Having a parent die as you watch, helplessly . . ." he murmured, staring at the ground.
"What?" Anakin questioned, slightly surprised and wary of the Knight's actions.
"And you keep thinking 'If there's anything I can do, anything at all, I'll do it. I'd kill for this person, and I will' . . ." Obi-Wan continued obliviously, looking up at Anakin sadly. At that moment he looked much younger than his thirty-five years, much more innocent than any life the Jedi had given him. Confused, Anakin held his gaze.
"What do you mean?"
"And then something else takes over. Love is a powerful emotion," Obi- Wan stated, curling in on himself, hugging his knees. Anakin stared at him, confused. Then realisation dawned on him and he sighed in enlightenment.
"Qui-Gon . . ." he hissed, comprehending.
"I see him die every time I close my eyes. We're not that different, you and I . . ." Obi-Wan declared quietly, uncurling and standing slowly, never breaking eye contact with the younger man.
"I didn't realise, Master, I . . ." Anakin started frantically, but was cut off with a raised hand by Obi-Wan. Instead, he simply stared at the scarlet wounds crisscrossing the pale flesh.
"I am proof that it is able to bring yourself away from the Dark Side, Padawan," he stated simply, offering the hand that he held up to Anakin. "But you've got to want to, Ani."
"I watched Palaani being hurt seriously tonight, Master." He said, staring at the offered hand.
"I am willing to continue teaching you, Padawan mine, if you're willing to keep me as your Master."
"I didn't do anything to help him," Anakin mumbled, feeling tears spring back to his eyes.
"The path from the Dark Side is hard and painful, Ani, but it is possible."
"I hated him, Master," Anakin confessed, tearing his eyes away from Obi-Wan's outstretched hand and to his face. "Like I hated those Tuscan Raiders."
"Come back to the temple with me, Ani. We both need sleep," Obi-Wan suggested, unmoving.
~I can't go to sleep! The dreams, the breathing, it'll come back!~ Anakin's mind cried frantically, but outwards Anakin showed no sign of it. ~No need to worry him more, I suppose~ he rationalized. Instead he reached out his own hand, letting it hover over Obi-Wan's for several seconds. Around them, the Force paused.
"Yes, Master," he breathed, letting his hand drop onto Obi-Wan's, lacing his fingers around his Master's, drawing reassurance and hope from the touch. Through the tears that slid down his face he smiled. "You know I married Padme, don't you?" he questioned. Gripping the Padawan's hand firmly, Obi-Wan grinned.
"You think I'm clueless enough not to notice that?" he declared indignantly. "And it's a good thing I do already know, because this isn't really the best place for me to find out, is it now?" He nodded his head to the thinning crowd that surrounded them with a grin.
"Oh, Sith. I completely forgot about our audience," Anakin cried, annoyed. Obi-Wan's smile widened.
"Oh, how you doubt me, Padawan. I assure you, no one here with the exception of you and I will remember this tomorrow morning." Anakin nodded, glancing back at the floor. Concerned, Obi-Wan used a finger on his free hand to lift the Padawan's chin. "Anakin," he said, putting everything he felt into the one word. With a slight sob, Anakin wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan again.
"I love you, Master," he whispered. "But I fear that will get you killed. I don't want to love, I just can't help it. And it gets people hurt."
"Are you going to make the journey back to the light with me, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked carefully.
"I'll try, Master."
"Do or do not do, Padawan. There is no try," Obi-Wan informed with the assurance of one who has never learned anything but that.
Anakin had no reply.
The End
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So, there you go. Thank you for making the journey through all this madness with me, everyone. . . sorry about the long wait for the final chapter, but thahanks for hanging in there, anyway. I appreciate it, I really do. What happens next if completely up to you; If you like AUs, then maybe Obi-Wan succeeded in pulling Anakin back to the light. If not, then Obi-Wan failed and Ep 3 followed, leading into the original trilogy. It's up to you. As the motto to Fanfiction.net says, Unleash your imagination and free your soul.
Once again, thank you,
Padawan AngelinaDaisey XXX
Obi-Wan Kenobi closed his eyes and waited for the agony. The bitter, gut twisting pain that came with the blow from his Padawan's blade to his neck as they stood there in the programmed rain of Coruscant's top street level. The burning rip of pure energy as it coursed through his body, fueled by the wrath of one that he loved dearly. The death strike from his beloved Padawan.
But closing his eyes didn't help. The Force screamed at him, desperately sending warnings to one of its brightest and best to move, defend, survive. He saw the blade swing in a high arc, making a direct, strong descent towards his neck and heard the gentle buzz of the energy of the actual weapon, close to his right ear as it sped closer and . . . stopped.
Several moments passed, Obi-Wan feeling the close proximity of the blade to his body through the Force, his eyes still closed firmly. A small sound reached him suddenly and brought him back to his senses. He opened his turquoise eyes slowly, and the sight he saw broke his heart.
Anakin stood before him, holding the lightsaber so close to Obi-Wan that the Knight could feel the heat from the glowing blade, his body in a perfect battle stance; rigid, defensive and slightly bent to give his arms the ultimate power he could manage. His face however was a study in misery. Despair and heartbreak fought for control in his cobalt eyes as they sparkled with unshed tears under the dim light, his features a picture of pure misery. He made quite an image there, under the rain.
The small sound resonated again: a tiny moan of desperation as Anakin fought for control of his emotions and actions. Obi-Wan regarded him carefully, not moving at all, barely breathing. Just watching the struggle within the younger man. Without warning, Anakin seemed to crumble, letting the lightsaber tumble from his numb fingers, disengaging as it fell, missing the Knight's flesh and landing with a dull, wet click as it hit the stone below.
Trembling slightly, Obi-Wan held his arms out to the younger man who stood across from him, watching him carefully, unsure but hopeful. Then, with a sob, he launched himself into the proffered arms and wrapped his own around the Knight desperately, clinging to Obi-Wan like a lifeline in the middle of a dark Ocean. Obi-Wan in return held the Padawan and murmured soothing, wordless mumblings to him, unaware of the tears sliding down his own face. Carefully, he slid down the wall behind him so they sat on the wet stone beneath them, Obi-Wan rocking Anakin like a frightened child all the way.
"Master," Anakin sobbed, unable to say anything else. Obi-Wan dipped his head slightly to speak directly into Anakin's ear.
"Shhh, Padawan. You're safe, you're here and I'm here. Shhh," He murmured, clutching the blonde head to his shoulder reassuringly, rocking. Anakin looked up sharply at him, swiping his real hand across his bloodshot, horrified eyes.
"Padawan? I don't . . ." he mumbled, scrambling to his feet quickly and taking a step away from Obi-Wan and turned his back to him.
"Yes, Ani? You don't . . ." Obi-Wan prompted, standing as well, albeit far more gracefully and slowly.
"I don't deserve to be your Padawan," Anakin whispered, barely audible. "I've killed, Master. Murdered. Slaughtered innocent children to try and make myself feel better." Anakin stared at his hands, one real, one prosthetic. "I felt their blood on my hands, warm and thick and . . ."
Obi-Wan's eyes bore into his back. "And what, Anakin?" he asked quietly.
"And I relished it." There was a pregnant silence after Anakin's announcement, in which Obi-Wan simply stared at his hunched shoulders, expression unreadable.
"Who, Anakin?" He asked finally. Slowly, the younger man turned so he could look upon his Master.
"The Tuscan Raiders on Tatooine," he confessed sadly, staring at the floor, changing his mind against looking at Obi-Wan. The Knight sighed and ran a hand through his soaking hair, barely noticing that the rain had briefly stopped.
"Would you do it again, Anakin?" Was his fearful question. The Padawan looked at the Knight sharply, staring deep into his eyes.
"Yes. If it was for someone I cared enough for."
"Your Mother," Obi-Wan deduced, speaking the words carefully. Anakin's expression didn't change as he moved closer to Obi-Wan, ignoring the statement.
"If someone laid a finger on either Padme or you, I'd gladly hunt them down and make them pay with their own blood. Yes, I'd kill again."
"The Tuscan Raiders killed your Mother so you went and killed them in return," Obi-Wan stated, watching for the reaction on Anakin, staring deep into the Padawan's eyes. On cue, Anakin's face twisted in anger and he pulled away from Obi-Wan's questioning gaze.
"It's not fair! She died in my arms! In my arms! And I couldn't do anything about it! I felt so helpless!" he cried, throwing the arms he spoke of into the air and spinning away, his back facing Obi-Wan again.
"I know," Obi-Wan whispered. Angered, Anakin spun back and glared at Obi-Wan.
"No, No you don't! How could you? She died lying in my arms, Obi- Wan!" he almost screamed at the older man who in return sank back down to the pavement and stared of into the distance sadly.
"It hurts, doesn't it? Having a parent die as you watch, helplessly . . ." he murmured, staring at the ground.
"What?" Anakin questioned, slightly surprised and wary of the Knight's actions.
"And you keep thinking 'If there's anything I can do, anything at all, I'll do it. I'd kill for this person, and I will' . . ." Obi-Wan continued obliviously, looking up at Anakin sadly. At that moment he looked much younger than his thirty-five years, much more innocent than any life the Jedi had given him. Confused, Anakin held his gaze.
"What do you mean?"
"And then something else takes over. Love is a powerful emotion," Obi- Wan stated, curling in on himself, hugging his knees. Anakin stared at him, confused. Then realisation dawned on him and he sighed in enlightenment.
"Qui-Gon . . ." he hissed, comprehending.
"I see him die every time I close my eyes. We're not that different, you and I . . ." Obi-Wan declared quietly, uncurling and standing slowly, never breaking eye contact with the younger man.
"I didn't realise, Master, I . . ." Anakin started frantically, but was cut off with a raised hand by Obi-Wan. Instead, he simply stared at the scarlet wounds crisscrossing the pale flesh.
"I am proof that it is able to bring yourself away from the Dark Side, Padawan," he stated simply, offering the hand that he held up to Anakin. "But you've got to want to, Ani."
"I watched Palaani being hurt seriously tonight, Master." He said, staring at the offered hand.
"I am willing to continue teaching you, Padawan mine, if you're willing to keep me as your Master."
"I didn't do anything to help him," Anakin mumbled, feeling tears spring back to his eyes.
"The path from the Dark Side is hard and painful, Ani, but it is possible."
"I hated him, Master," Anakin confessed, tearing his eyes away from Obi-Wan's outstretched hand and to his face. "Like I hated those Tuscan Raiders."
"Come back to the temple with me, Ani. We both need sleep," Obi-Wan suggested, unmoving.
~I can't go to sleep! The dreams, the breathing, it'll come back!~ Anakin's mind cried frantically, but outwards Anakin showed no sign of it. ~No need to worry him more, I suppose~ he rationalized. Instead he reached out his own hand, letting it hover over Obi-Wan's for several seconds. Around them, the Force paused.
"Yes, Master," he breathed, letting his hand drop onto Obi-Wan's, lacing his fingers around his Master's, drawing reassurance and hope from the touch. Through the tears that slid down his face he smiled. "You know I married Padme, don't you?" he questioned. Gripping the Padawan's hand firmly, Obi-Wan grinned.
"You think I'm clueless enough not to notice that?" he declared indignantly. "And it's a good thing I do already know, because this isn't really the best place for me to find out, is it now?" He nodded his head to the thinning crowd that surrounded them with a grin.
"Oh, Sith. I completely forgot about our audience," Anakin cried, annoyed. Obi-Wan's smile widened.
"Oh, how you doubt me, Padawan. I assure you, no one here with the exception of you and I will remember this tomorrow morning." Anakin nodded, glancing back at the floor. Concerned, Obi-Wan used a finger on his free hand to lift the Padawan's chin. "Anakin," he said, putting everything he felt into the one word. With a slight sob, Anakin wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan again.
"I love you, Master," he whispered. "But I fear that will get you killed. I don't want to love, I just can't help it. And it gets people hurt."
"Are you going to make the journey back to the light with me, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked carefully.
"I'll try, Master."
"Do or do not do, Padawan. There is no try," Obi-Wan informed with the assurance of one who has never learned anything but that.
Anakin had no reply.
The End
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So, there you go. Thank you for making the journey through all this madness with me, everyone. . . sorry about the long wait for the final chapter, but thahanks for hanging in there, anyway. I appreciate it, I really do. What happens next if completely up to you; If you like AUs, then maybe Obi-Wan succeeded in pulling Anakin back to the light. If not, then Obi-Wan failed and Ep 3 followed, leading into the original trilogy. It's up to you. As the motto to Fanfiction.net says, Unleash your imagination and free your soul.
Once again, thank you,
Padawan AngelinaDaisey XXX