Disclaimer: I do not own Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakumeshi (aka Spirited Away). And I do not have any money. This fan fiction is for the sole purpose of putting my idea(s) out into the public and sharing them with those who are interested. I am not making money off of this fan fiction.

But this fan fiction still belongs to me.

Out the Window and Through the Tunnel

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The Beginning of the Wanderings of the Heart


Chihiro trudged through the grass with the rest of the class. The trail was hardly there anymore, but if one looked closely, one would still be able to find that little trail of two wheel tracks. And one would be able to recognize the statue somewhere inside the forest that told you that you were almost at the tunnel.

She looked around, oblivious to all the chatter around her. Now, the memory-dreams welled up inside her just as her tears did, and they threatened to overtake her more than ever before. She wanted to stretch out her arms to the sky and yell out Haku's name. Or run, straight through the tunnel and across the meadow, the river, into the 'deserted' town, and stay there until the long summer day is over. To stay and meet all the spirits. Even if Haku wasn't there, maybe she could at least meet Rin, and the Boh, and Zeniba, and no-face, and Kamajii, and all those little black fuzzy things...

But the class was not about to go through the tunnel. They stayed outside, as the teacher explained the superstitions of the olden days, of how they believed that people who crossed the tunnel never returned because the people were taken as sacrifice for the spirits.

And he explained how it was probably just an old theme park.

Just like how her father explained it.  Her father was wrong.  She wandered through the tunnel and met Haku.

Chihiro felt the secret parts of her memories and wishes in her heart digged up and turned over and over again. And those dreams played over and over in her head of what she would say if she met Haku again. Of the ten thousand and one different ways she might meet him, and the twenty thousand and two ways that he might tell her that she shouldn't stay there, shouldn't be there, with him.

Chihiro stared at the ground. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Hastily, she wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and took a step forward in an attempt to keep up with the rest of the class. And tripped.

Mitsuki helped her up. "Are you ok?" Then, as Mitsuki noticed Chihiro's tears. Mitsuki asked more tentatively, "What happened?"

Chihiro stood up and smiled to her best friend. Shaking her head, she said, "Nothing, it just really hurt to trip and fall on branches and stuff."

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The class shuffled through the dust covered halls of the tunnel, passing through the room with the benches and windows. Chihiro could feel herself getting tense, excited, nervous, and all those emotions other than calm passing through her. There really was no point, she knew, since school ends way before sunset, especially on a long summer day.

They came out through the clearing. There was a clearing? Chihiro couldn't remember everything of those times, but they were all tucked away in her mind.  The memories were old and fragile and torn. Not really anything whole, just a feeling, a wisp of wind, or a smile.

She turned to look at the steps of stair cases that lead up from the stream. That's right! There was a stream. And past that was the town. And the boat. Silently, she followed her classmates.

Mitsuki nudged her. "Sen!"

Chihiro jumped. "Haku?"

"Haku? Sen, who's Haku?" Seeing that she'd have to question Chihiro later, she continued. "Sen, the teacher is asking a question - and you wouldn't be able to answer it if you weren't listening yesterday." Mitsuki sighed. It was a lose lose situation for Sen.

"... So, Ogino-san," Sen noticed that the teacher was indeed addressing her with the question. "Do you remember what was said to be the boundary between the two worlds?"

Sen paused. It was the boundary. It was always the boundary that wouldn't let her be with Haku, or Rin, or Kamajii, or any friends that she had made in the world she wasn't supposed to be in.

The teacher thought that Sen didn't know. "We talked about it yesterday."

Sen replied this time. "It's the river," she said, retrieving that fraction of the memory. "The meadow between the tunnel and stairs was covered with water at nightfall, and then that was the boundary between the two worlds. Then, there'd be lights everywhere, and spirits awakening..." Sen trailed off, realizing that she had done more than enough to answer the question.

No, she didn't want everything exposed, prodded. She didn't want the memories taken out her mind and washed and rinsed and dried, and all over again until the inspectors decided on a way to piece them together, in a way that they weren't meant to be put together. She didn't want to be telling tales like a story teller, and then eventually believe, herself, that all she told was story. No, she didn't want to stretch it into a tall tale, like a piece of clothing washed too often. Surely, the bathhouse was big, but it was probably due to her own lack of height. Didn't Rin say something about her being tiny?

The class had arrived at the empty town by now, and they quieted down as the teacher explained the next part of the field trip to them. "For the next part, you will go and 'explore' this town by yourselves. Be careful and don't touch anything because none of this belongs to the school or our town. And be back by two thirty. Otherwise, we are leaving you for the spirits to eat." He winked on the last part. Half of the class pretended to be scared, and the other half laughed. Chihiro just drifted on by herself, leaving Mitsuki to her own devices.

There really was too much here that only Chihiro knows of.

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