Chapter 9
When Levi came to, she curled up in a ball on the stone floor of the cavern, sobbing. It had been so much more intense than the dream- she had been actually relieving it, all in the space of about fifteen seconds. The emotions had practically caught her in a headlock.
"Levi, stand up."
Levi swallowed her tears and stood shakily, meeting Janus's gaze. The dragon was looking at her with an odd mixture of sympathy and sternness. "I am sorry I had to do that, but we are swiftly running out of time. I would have preferred for you to remember in your own time, but, what with the current circumstances..." He shook his massive blunt head. "You realize now that there is no Levi, no Lyris, only you, don't you?"
Levi nodded numbly. I just want to sleep... if I even see Piotr- Peter, I'm going to either blush like mad or start crying like an idiot.
"Is there anything you wish to know?"
Levi scrubbed the last tears off her face and nodded. "Why isn't Peter as old as he was? What happened?"
Janus shook his head. "That is something that you must speak to Peter about. His fairy companion, as well- if you can find her," he added grimly.
"Tink's been here since the beginning," said Levi dully. "No wonder she flipped when I suggested she knew things."
"The Fae are notorious for their treachery," said Janus mildly. "But it is essential that you find some equilibrium."
Levi gave him a confused look. Janus sighed.
"Never-Land is only as stable as its inhabitants, Levi. It exists as much inside us all as it does around us. When you arrived here, disrupting everything, doubt has been gnawing apart the Fae, as well as Peter. And Peter is the anchor, which quadruples the problem. Getting rid of those wraiths-you call them pirates-might help, but certain things need to happen or Never-Land will vanish."
Levi didn't know what to think about that. The thought of her home disappearing into the mists made her physically ill. Whatever happened, she had to prevent that.
"You need to speak with Peter."
Levi looked up sharply. "I can't!" she blurted. "He's changed far too much, and me... I'm still caught between then and now. I don't know what I feel, how to react."
"It must be done," said Janus patiently. Levi got the feeling he was swiftly running out of patience, by the vague flash of his black eyes.
"I'll try," said Levi dully. "But no promises, all right?"
Janus looked like he was going to make a useless comment, but he held his tongue and nodded. "That is all we can hope for, right now."
"I'd better go," said Levi suddenly. "It's late, and I have a lot of practice to do tomorrow. I've gotten rather rusty on my sword skills."
Janus smiled. "Yes, you do that. May we meet again, my young friend."
* * *
Levi spent another sleepless night, but rather than retreat to the dormitory she went to the topmost platform of the settlement- it was only fifteen feet across, and there were no branches clouding the view of the sky.
She hadn't seen a sky-scape in that way before. Not just seeing the billions upon billions of stars, stretching out beyond infinity- but to know what was past it, to have been beyond the sky and come back again.
Levi was up all night, acclimating herself to the new reality. That she was, in fact, someone who had died in ancient Greece and been reborn in modern-day America. Of course, who knew what year it was now- it was probably twenty-thirty-four, or some other equally ludicrous date. Time didn't exist here anymore in any form, beyond days and memory. It was like living the same day over and over.
She suddenly remembered the bittersweet sight of Never-Land in autumn. It was painfully beautiful to someone who had never known autumn before, but it was a herald of doom- of Time.
And then, Levi suddenly felt terribly depressed. That was her daughter's name, Autumn.
Of course, Autumn had grown up and died before Levi-the present version-had even thought of existing. Unless she had somehow been brought here, but to hope that was silly. Besides, even if she was still here, how could she find her?
Levi suddenly felt like crying, and shoved every thought of her past family out of her mind, focusing her entire existence on the stars.
The stars that had brought the Fae.
Levi stood sharply, wrapping her arms around herself to ward off the cold. It was close to midnight. She would never be able to fall sleep, and she needed something to do before she went mad from memories.
So Levi found a bow and arrows somewhere and spent the rest of the night practicing archery.
* * *
The sun was coming up.
A teenage girl was sitting in the crags of the Never-Land mountains, holding a slender silver lute. As the first rays of sunlight pierced the darkness, she put the instrument to her lips and began to play.
It was a song of heartache and loss, of pain and turmoil, of love lost to never be regained, of a broken heart. And yet, ultimately, of hope.
The music soared, and by some strange trick of the magic that was Never-Land it filtered down to the entire island.
The redskins turned their faces upward, confused, and felt their hearts buoyed by the sound.
The fairies turned to ice inside, for they knew that sound, and knew what it meant, who played it.
The mer-folk listened intently, each remembering a time that went with the music. One merman scribbled down the notes and forever after tried to reproduce it, but never could.
The pirates yelled and shrieked, the sound grating on their ears, slicing through them like a thousand razors.
And the Lost?
Most were still asleep, but those awake smiled to each other.
And Peter- he grinned for a moment, almost his old self, and decided it was going to be a very good day.
* * *
Levi returned to the settlement immediately after she finished her song, wired with adrenaline. She had a specific mission, and would not be gainsaid.
No one recognized this wild woman, all shrank back from her. Long, tangled dark hair; of normal height but entirely too muscular; eyes that flashed like blue fire and ice. She carried herself like an Amazon- ready for battle, and confident that the enemy would die from just the fright of seeing her.
Peter was on the main level, playfully discussing mer-folk with a boy who looked to be about eleven. But appearances could be deceiving, especially here.
"Peter."
Peter looked up, did a double take. For a moment time blinked and it was Lyris standing before him. But it faded away and it was Levi, looking extremely determined.
"What is it?"
"I need to speak with you."
Peter nodded. "See you later, Slightly," he said absently. Then he and Levi took to the air, as if of one mind.
They went to the top platform, which was empty. The instant they landed Peter gave Levi a level stare.
"So talk."
"I'm coming with you, to the battle."
"Not on your life!" Peter blurted before he had really processed her words. "Levi-"
"Last time I did what you told me to, it destroyed three lives," said Levi, trying to be frosty and just coming across as hurt. "I won't be the one to stay behind, and I'm not going to fold like I did before. So deal with it."
Uh-oh. Lyris is hacked off- just do what she says and nobody dies, Peter thought. She hasn't been this pissed since Phineas put fish guts in her hut.
"You haven't used a weapon for what, three thousand years? You'll get killed."
This time Levi's anger was real. "Been there, done that. It'll be nothing new. And I am more than proficient with a bow- more so than you, in fact."
"You can't kill a pirate with a bow!"
"The I'll use a sword."
"Not if I have anything to do with it." Peter knew it was completely daft, but he was suddenly enjoying arguing with her.
"I was informing you of a decision, not asking your permission."
"You can't have it in any case, and I'll tie you up myself," Peter retorted.
Levi came so close their noses were practically touching. "Go ahead and try," she said. "You'll regret it, though."
"Will I?" asked Peter, amusement flickering in his hazel eyes. Levi tried not to think about the last time he'd looked at her like that.
"You bet-"
Had this been another time, Peter's next move would have been completely fine, even expected. But now- well, neither know what to think.
Levi almost jumped back, but kissing Peter seemed to be the most natural thing in the world... just right, somehow. Memories flooded her mind unbidden, memories that once upon a time had been all she had in the world.
Then, pulling herself back into the present, Levi jerked herself backwards. "You're trying to distract me. It's not working."
Peter looked at her with intense curiosity. "Why are you so worked up about going out to fight, Lyris?" he said, barely noticing as the once-familiar name fell from his lips. "You never used to want to put yourself in the way of danger, especially against the wraiths."
Levi closed her eyes and sighed from her toes. "Because it needs to be done, and I'm not going to watch my friends die while I, who knows how these monsters operate, stand by the wayside." She opened her eyes and looked up at Peter. He wasn't as tall as he should have been, but he was still a solid four inches taller than her. Her eyes were misty. "I've changed, Peter- we both have. Things aren't the same, they never will be."
Peter nodded slowly, watching Levi with new understanding in his eyes. This was something she needed to do; her own personal exorcism of the ancient ghosts in her soul. "All right," he said softly. Levi saw the uncertainty reflected in his clear hazel eyes. No one else could have detected it, but she could.
"Thank you," Levi murmured. Suddenly uncomfortable, she flew away as fast as she could. The tears that dripped down her face weren't just from the wind.
* * *
Peter clenched his hand into a fist, staring blankly at the sky. Tink was still missing, and he still didn't know what to do about what's-her-name. He didn't know what to call her, Levi or Lyris.
He knew she could look after herself- he had no doubt of that. She might not have been as skilled with the sword as with the bow, but she could hold her own. At least against the pirates, anyway- those undead wraiths that only just managed to keep themselves organized. If she ever went up against Captain Hook she'd be annihilated, but she wasn't, just the regular pirates.
But Levi didn't know their true fury, Peter thought mutinously. She hadn't watched them murder a hundred Lost prisoners. She hadn't watched her friends die and been forced to stand by the wayside.
"What's she thinking?" Peter burst out, eyes flashing. "She'll be turned into a bloody stain on the ground."
He wanted nothing more than to protect her, the way he hadn't been able to before. Shelter her from her fate, as it were. He knew he couldn't, and it made him feel helpless, useless.
"What happened to her? Why is she so determined to get herself killed?" Peter murmured to himself. "Why?"
"You don't know her story, Pan- not all of it."
Peter turned sharply, startled. Mad was standing behind him, dark eyes thoughtful.
"What ever do you mean?" asked Peter sharply. "I don't think you're any more of an authority than me, Omar."
Mad's thoughtfulness turned to ire in an instant. "Levi was forced from her home, both then and now, by forces she could not control. She has been rejected by those she loves. Her entire life has been destroyed, in both times, and you wonder why she wants revenge on one of the demons controlling her fate? I thought you were smarter than that."
"I don't think I understand," Peter replied, voice low. He was starting to get irritated at the Arabian teenager.
Mad stepped closer, voice low and angry. "Levi is in search of absolution. And if killing a few pirates will give her that, then mind your own bloody business and let her!"
Peter didn't answer, just glowered. Mad almost quailed- Peter seemed to change before his eyes from a carefree teenaged boy to an old man, someone who held the very nature of darkness within themselves, someone who had seen the birth of Time itself and lived through all the misery of the universe. And then it was Peter again, an angry boy who didn't understand why the girl he cared for more than anyone else on earth would want to go into battle.
"Talk to her, Peter," said Mad softly, shaking his head. "She needs that, and so do you."
Peter thought he saw something like regret in Mad's eyes. He got the feeling that Mad was giving up something enormous, and it only took a moment more to realize that while Mad might hope for something beyond Levi's friendship, he cared enough for her to recognize that he wasn't the one she wanted.
Peter nodded slowly, vague understanding mixed with confusion flooding his youthful face. "All right, I'll talk to her."
* * *
Levi clutched the sword hard, her knuckles white and bloodless. She swung it at the post again and again until she felt like her arm was going to fall off, and then she kept going.
She tried to convince herself she was training. What she was really doing was pretending that the post was a really tall fairy. Because really, that was what it all came down to- the Fae weren't satisfied with their realm and decided to invade hers.
And then, without so much as batting an eye, they destroyed her life, her family, her future, her home, and her belief in herself.
She wanted to believe that she could make it better, could turn back the Time that had slipped through her fingers and find herself home again. That the great chasm hadn't suddenly opened between herself and Peter.
She still couldn't call him Piotr.
But he had called her Lyris. She remembered being curled up in clearing somewhere together, watching the deadly stars above... whispering her name in her ear, his breath on her skin...
She bit back a soft cry and swung viciously at the post, leaving a deep slash in the wood. She wouldn't stop until the stupid thing was reduced to naught but splinters.
Then, without consulting her, her hands went limp and the iron-blade sword dropped to the earth at her feet. She sank to the ground, not caring a bit that she was getting mud all over her last clean pair of jeans.
She cried.
* * *
When Peter finally found her, the sun had sunk behind the western horizon and the last vestiges of sunset were fleeing from the swiftly darkening sky. She was alone on the cliff top above Janus's caves, a rather worse for wear post driven in the ground near her, an iron sword beside her. She was asleep, tear-tracks glistening on her sunburnt face.
He kneeled beside her, brushed the tears from her face carefully, so as not to wake her. She had dark circles under her eyes from exhaustion, no small wonder that she'd cried herself to sleep.
"I wonder..." Peter murmured absently. He watched her for a moment longer, then gingerly picked her up.
Levi shuddered in her sleep and clutched the front of his tunic, whimpering softly, brow knitting. She relaxed a moment later, but retained her death-grip on his tunic. Peter sighed and took to the air, leaving the sword where it lie. He could fetch it later, or have one of the younger children grab it.
When he reached the dormitory she was staying in, he tried to leave her in her hammock but the only way to do it would have been to have left the blasted tunic with her, or stayed with her. The last idea was considerably more tempting, but not in a girl's dormitory. Gossip abounded here, especially among the girls- he wasn't that stupid.
So he went instead to his own quarters, tucked up in the root system of the smallest cypress. The sound of the waves only sixty feet below continuously filled the little chamber.
Peter, seeing as he was the leader, had one of only four feather-beds in the entire settlement. Two belonged to members of his council, and the last to a cook who'd managed to squirrel away a bunch of feathers over the years.
So onto the rather small bed went Levi, and because she had an unbreakable grip on his tunic, so did Peter.
He watched her sleep in silence, absently pushing a lock of her hair off her face. "I never forgot my promise," he whispered. "That I'd find you. Why do you think I flew to the Other World? I knew, deep down, I was looking for someone... but I never found you. Not in time, anyway. And now... you've changed until I hardly know you anymore. I hardly even know myself."
No reaction, beyond a soft, contented murmur. She curled up against him, and Peter automatically wrapped his arms around her. It had been so long, and yet it still came so easily, being with her like this.
"I never stopped loving you," he whispered.
After that he fell silent and just soaked up the moment, not thinking about tomorrow. Eventually he fell asleep.
Tink watched from the corner, her golden aura tinged with green. She was utterly, completely jealous of this usurper, of this girl who knew more than she ought.
And she was absolutely terrified of her.
Tink had been there since it began. She had been in the Circle, she had helped steal Piotr's memory and reverse his age, turn him into Peter Pan. She had been assigned to watch over him, report anything unusual to the Ring. But when Levi had started asking questions, Tink had started hiding.
"Everything is falling apart," Tink muttered to herself. "I won't be made to live amongst those barbarians Outside again. Even if it means destroying the Lost."
Her eyes glowed with maniacal madness.
"Even if."