Saturday, September 4, 1993
"How are you feeling, Harry?" Dumbledore asked as he, Snape, Lupin, and McGonagall entered the hospital wing the next afternoon. Harry tensed visibly when he saw Snape and Lupin.
"I'm...fine, sir," he whispered.
"I see you've gotten gifts from your friends," Lupin commented, trying to make the boy feel at ease. "Have you opened them all?"
"N-no, sir. Madam Pomfrey helped me open a few, but my arm..." Harry was being so quiet that they could barely hear him.
"Harry, my boy, I know that you won't like this," Dumbledore said, softly. "But we need to know what has happened to you. We need to talk to you about what happened over the summer. Can you tell us how you got all of your injuries?"
"Car accident," Harry said, quickly. He picked at an imaginary piece of thread on his blanket.
"That doesn't account for the footprints we found on your back and chest," Pomfrey told him, gently.
"Let's try another one, shall we?" Dumbledore said. "Harry, why is it that every year, you leave Hogwarts healthy, yet you come back after the summer, and you're nearly, as Muggles put it, 'skin and bones'?"
"I get sick in the summer," Harry muttered. "I can't eat when I'm sick."
"I weighed you when you left last year, and I weighed you when you came back," Pomfrey said. "You've lost nearly thirty pounds."
"What of these nightmares you've been having, Harry?" Lupin inquired. "What are they about?" Harry shrugged his shoulders, staring at the floor.
"Mr. Potter," Snape said, suddenly. Harry was startled by his voice, and he looked up at the Potions master with fearful eyes. "If you do not answer our questions truthfully, we will be forced to give you a potion that will make you tell us the truth. The side effects of that potion are not good, Potter, and so I believe it would be a much better choice for you to just answer our questions."
Harry stared at Snape for a moment. The teachers watched as the boy's eyes seemed to fill with tears, and his arms and legs began to tremble. Finally, he hugged his knees to his chest, once again ignoring the pain, and began to rock back and forth slightly. He rested his chin on his knees, looking straight ahead and nod at any of the professors.
"Yes, sir," he whispered.
"You'll tell us the truth?" Harry nodded, taking deep breaths.
"Merlin, what have they done to him?" Lupin whispered as he witnessed the boy's behavior.
"All right, Harry." Dumbledore sat in a chair next to the bed. "Have the Dursleys been abusing you?"
"Y-yes, sir." Harry's voice was shaking.
"All of them?"
"Yes, sir."
"Is that what your nightmares have been about?"
"Yes, sir."
"Madam Pomfrey ran down a list of injuries that she discovered last night." Dumbledore told Harry what Pomfrey had found. "Has there been anything else?"
"Yes, sir. Uncle Vernon hit me in my head a lot. He liked to do that a lot until I passed out."
"Anything else?" Harry opened his mouth, as if to add more, but then shut it and shook his head.
"No, sir."
"Have they been giving you food, Harry?" McGonagall asked.
"No, ma'am. When I was allowed out of my cupboard, I tried to steal food from the kitchen, but I got caught."
"Your cupboard, you said?" Snape asked, surprised. Harry nodded.
"Yes, sir. My cupboard under the stairs. That's where I live. I used to live in Dudley's playroom for a while, but then they moved me back to my cupboard."
"How often were you allowed out of your cupboard, Harry?" Lupin wondered.
"Not a lot, sir," Harry replied. "Every couple of days, maybe." Pomfrey leaned over to whisper something to Dumbledore, who nodded his head.
"Harry, did the Dursleys do anything to you besides hit you?" Dumbledore asked, gently. Harry bit his lip, contemplating, and then slowly nodded his head.
"Yes, sir."
"Can you tell me what else they did to you?" A tear fell from Harry's eye.
"Please don't make me answer that, sir." McGonagall stifled a sob, and Lupin rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"All right, child, you don't have to answer that. But I have one more question. Now it is very important, Harry, that you answer this truthfully. All right?" Harry nodded. "Have you been hurting yourself in any way?" Harry glanced down at his right arm, then nodded his head in defeat.
"Yes, sir."
"What have you done to yourself?"
Slowly and painfully, Harry pulled back the sleeve on his right arm and held his wrist up so that the professors could see. McGonagall and Lupin gasped at the sight, as did Snape, though he'd already seen it the night before.
Carved into his arm, encrusted with dried blood, was the word 'HELP.'
~~~
"Professor Lupin!" Ron, Hermione, Dean, Seamus, the Weasley twins, and Ginny Weasley all ran up to the Dark Arts professor in a hallway.
"Professor, how is Harry?" Ginny questioned him.
"He's doing just fine," Lupin assured them. He was still pale and a little shaky from what he had witnessed earlier in the hospital wing. "He should be returning to his classes next week."
Everyone accepted that answer and left Lupin alone, except for Ron and Hermione. They continued to question the man.
"Sir, Ron told me that you all think Harry's aunt and uncle hurt him," Hermione said in a small voice. Lupin nodded his head, his eyes downcast.
"We asked him some questions today, and he said that yes, the Dursleys have been abusing him, as well as starving him." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Ron, Hermione, but I can't tell you any more. If Harry wishes you to know, then he'll tell you himself, or he'll ask one of us to tell you. Until then, I can't say anything."
"We understand, sir," Hermione assured him. "Thank you." She dragged Ron up the stairs to the hospital wing. "Madam Pomfrey?" The older woman met them at the door. "May we see Harry, please?"
"Yes, you may, but only for a short while," Pomfrey replied. "Mr. Potter needs his rest." Hermione and Ron brought chairs to Harry's bed. Harry lay facing away from them, and he cringed a little when he heard them come in. He turned to see them and relaxed, sighing.
"How are you feeling, mate?" Ron asked.
"Not bad, considering," Harry responded, quietly. "I'm in a lot of pain. Madam Pomfrey said that we have to let the broken bones heal without magic this time."
"Well, hasn't she given you anything for the pain?" Hermione wondered, concerned. Harry nodded.
"It just hasn't started working quite yet. And I have to stay in here through the weekend. In a couple days, I might be able to eat my meals in the Great Hall, though."
"Oh, Harry, the first trip to Hogsmeade is this weekend!" Ron exclaimed. He sighed. "And you can't come."
"We can stay here with you, if you'd like," Hermione offered. Harry shook his head.
"No, go without me," he ordered them. "The teachers are each going to take turns staying with me, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of homework to keep me occupied. Just make sure you buy me something."
"Of course we will! We'll get you the best candy from Honeydukes, and the best jokes from Zonko's," Ron assured him. Hermione changed the subject to a more serious one.
"So now what happens with you?" she wondered. "Now that they know what's happening with the Dursleys?" Harry winced a little.
"I'm not sure," he replied. "I think Dumbledore said that since I have no other family, then guardianship will be turned over to him and the other professors..."
And once again, I'm an inconvenience, Harry thought to himself, closing his eyes. Like the teachers don't have anything better to do than take care of a thirteen year old boy who got what he deserved...
"Harry, we're going to leave so you can get some rest," Hermione told him. She gave him a gentle hug, and Ron waved, and the two left the room. Harry lay on the bed and closed his eyes, welcoming the darkness of sleep.
~~~
Saturday, September 5, 1993
"Minerva," Snape said as he came into the hospital wing late Saturday evening. He found Minerva McGonagall sitting in a chair by Harry's bed, reading The Daily Prophet. Harry lay in the bed, sleeping soundly.
"Is it your shift already, Severus?" McGonagall looked at the clock. "So it is. All right, Mr. Potter has been sleeping for several hours; he'll probably wake up soon. When he does, he needs to take the potion for his pain."
"Minerva, you've seen how the boy's been reacting to me this week," Snape said, a tinge of worry in his voice. "Perhaps we should wake him up now, so he won't be frightened by waking up alone with me in the room."
"That's probably a good idea," McGonagall agreed. She lowered herself onto the bed and gently woke Harry up. "Mr. Potter, wake up." Harry opened his eyes slightly. He glanced sleepily around the room, then let his eyes close again. "Mr. Potter, Professor Snape is going to stay in here with you for a few hours." At that, Harry bolted upright, breathing hard. His eyes were wide, and his body began to tremble a little.
"Professor McGonagall, perhaps it was a bad idea for me to come up here," Snape said, suddenly. "I obviously make the boy uncomfortable. Maybe we should find someone to take my place." He turned towards the door, but McGonagall stopped him.
"There is nobody else," she said. She turned to Harry and spoke in a soft, gentle voice. "Harry, listen to me, all right? Professor Snape is not going to hurt you. Nobody here is going to hurt you. We all want to help you, but you have to help us, as well. I'm going to leave you in Professor Snape's care for maybe three hours. I woke you up to tell you that, so that you wouldn't be startled if you woke up on your own and you were alone with him. Will you be all right after I go?"
"Y-yes, ma'am," Harry whispered. McGonagall smiled.
"Good," she said, and she picked up a goblet from the bedside table. "Drink this up. It's your pain medicine." Harry took the goblet in shaky hands and drank the liquid. "Good boy. Now, you know that you're allowed out of bed, but only for short periods of time. You are not, however, allowed to leave the room, unless you are accompanied by Professor Snape. All right?" Harry nodded.
"Yes, ma'am." McGonagall gently squeezed Harry's hand, and then left.
Snape sat in the chair, and he and Harry were in silence for a while. Eventually, Harry lay down on the mattress, resting a hand on his chest. Snape noticed a pain look on Harry's face as the boy's chest rose and fell.
"Are you all right, Mr. Potter?" the professor asked. Harry turned to look at him, his eyes glassy and tired.
"My chest hurts..." he said in a small voice. "Madam Pomfrey wrapped some bandages around it, and they're really tight. It hurts to breathe."
"Does the potion help with that pain?" Snape asked. Harry was surprised to hear concern in his voice.
Why is he being so nice to me? He's always so mean to me, why isn't he now?
"Potter?" Harry shook his head.
"No, sir, it doesn't help," he mumbled.
"I'll see if I can do anything for that," Snape told him. Harry closed his eyes again, sighing. "What do you do while you're in here, besides sleep?"
"I can't do much else, sir. I've been trying to make up the work I've been missing, but I can't move my arms very well to write or use my wand."
"I see that you haven't opened all of your presents," Snape commented. "If you'd like, I could help you open some." Harry eyed him suspiciously.
"Dumbledore told me the professors volunteered to stay with me." The boy took a breath. "Then why are you here, sir?" Snape stared at him, letting a breath out.
"Mr. Potter," Snape sighed. "I feel horrible about how I've treated you ever since you came to Hogwarts. I just always assumed that, like here at the school, you were spoiled and praised at home, and you needed to be brought down every now and then. If I'd known how wrong I was, if I'd known what was really going on... I regret every cruel thing I've ever said to you or done to you, because I see now that I'm part of the cause of that look of fear in your eyes." Harry studied his face, then frowned.
"You pity me," he whispered. Snape shook his head.
"I wouldn't call it pity. I'd refer to it as sympathizing with you." He changed the subject. "Now, how about those gifts from your friends?"
"Just a couple," Harry sighed. He reached to the bedside table and cautiously lifted a couple gift bags over to the bed. Wincing in pain, he lightly rubbed his left arm as Snape removed one of the gifts from a bag.
"What in Merlin's name is this?" the professor asked, confused, as he held up a book that was titled 101 Crosswords to Waste Your Time. The corners of Harry's mouth twitched, but he didn't smile.
"Crosswords are Muggle puzzles," he explained, quietly. Snape opened the book, and Harry pointed at a page. "They give you clues, and you have to figure out what the clues mean. You write the answer in the squares." A piece of paper fell from the book, and Harry picked it up.
Dear Harry,
You probably need something to occupy your time, and judging by your arms, you won't be able to do much writing. I asked my mother to send me this book, and I bewitched it so that instead of writing the answers, you just say the number and what way it goes, like 7-Down, and then the answer, and it's written in for you.
Hope you feel better soon!
Love, Hermione
Harry sighed after he read the note.
She's such a good friend; Ron, too... They don't deserve someone like me. I'm just a burden.
"Harry?" The boy glanced at Snape, who looked concerned. "Are you all right?"
Harry nodded his head, looking back to the note. Then he carefully climbed off of the bed. He almost lost his balance, but quickly steadied himself, and he slowly made his way to the bathroom, closing the door and locking it.
Harry looked around the bathroom, sure that something would be in there. Rummaging through cupboards and drawers, he sighed with relief when he found what he was looking for. He ripped the bandage off his right arm, then took a deep breath and dragged the razor along his wrist, right under the word that was already there. He closed his eyes, taking refuge in the euphoria known as pain while blood seeped out of the wound. Not realizing it, his weak body began to slide to the floor, falling back against the door with a bang. Harry laid his head against the sink, staring at his arm.
"Mr. Potter, are you all right in there?"
Harry didn't answer, but when he heard the word 'Alohomora' and the door began to open, he scrambled to the other side of the room. He tried to huddle up behind the cupboard, but he didn't stay there for long. As soon as Snape opened the door, Harry could no longer keep himself sitting up, and he fell over to the floor. His bleeding arm landed at his side, his wrist exposed.
"Dear Merlin, boy..."
Snape gasped when he saw the state that Harry was in. The boy had begun to shiver slightly, and he couldn't even protest when the older wizard lifted him off the floor. Snape carried him to the bed and lowered him to the mattress. Then Snape, himself, sat on the bed and pressed his hand against Harry's wrist. Within a moment, the wound had closed, though it still scarred.
"Stop..." Harry barely whispered, trying to pull his arm away. "Please, stop..." Tears spilled from his eyes.
"Do you really want me to stop trying to help you, Potter?" Snape asked, slipping back into the tone he normally used with Harry; the tone that reflected anger or frustration.
Harry's eyes widened in fear, and he broke away from the professor. He crawled off the bed and to the corner of the room, bringing his knees to his chest and covering his head with his arms. Rocking back and forth, he cried and mumbled.
"Don't hurt me, please, don't hurt me! I'm sorry, just don't hurt me..."
"Harry!" Snape's tone was more gentle this time. He was shocked to see the aftermath of the abuse the boy had endured. "I'm not going to hurt you, Harry. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm not going to hurt you."
All of a sudden, Harry jumped up and darted around Snape. He pulled the door open and ran down the hallway, with the professor close behind. Harry, although weak, was faster than Snape, which proved to be both a benefit and a disadvantage. The benefit was that Harry quickly got ahead of the professor.
The disadvantage was that he couldn't stop or slow down in time when he saw the staircase in front of him.
Harry grabbed the railing, but it didn't help. He collapsed and proceeded to fall down the stairs. Snape pulled out his wand, to stop Harry from falling anymore, but he was too late. The boy was at the base of the stairs, motionless.
"Harry!" Snape suddenly heard a female voice scream. He and Hermione Granger both reached Harry at the same time.
"Miss Granger, go back to your Tower, and inform any teacher you see on the way that there is a situation with Mr. Potter over here." Hermione hesitated. "Go on. I'll make sure someone comes to let you know how he is in a while." Hermione nodded and began to run back to her Tower.
Soon, Snape was joined by Lupin, who listened to what had happened.
"We shouldn't move him yet," Lupin sighed. "He may have injured his neck or his back. But we can't just leave him here..."
"Stun him?" Snape suggested. Lupin thought for a moment, then agreed.
"I suppose it's the only way. Go ahead." Snape pulled out his wand and pointed it at Harry.
"Stupefy!"
Harry's body turned rigid, and Lupin lifted him up. The two professors took the boy back to the hospital wing, where he was lowered to the mattress.
"Ennervate!"
Harry's body was now relaxed, and he seemed to be waking up. Lupin knelt down next to the bed, so that he was level with Harry's face, while Snape went to look for some potions in Madam Pomfrey's stock room.
"Harry, how are you feeling?" Lupin asked, softly, as he gently stroked the boy's hair.
"It hurts..." Harry whispered.
"What hurts, Harry? Does your back or your neck hurt?"
"My head... My arm... My leg..."
"Can you turn your head?" Harry attempted, and he could. "Good, good. Which arm?"
"Left..."
"Severus," Lupin said after a few moments of examining Harry. "Do you think one of us should find Poppy? I can't tell if there's any difference in his arm, and I think his leg is broken."
As if on cue, Dumbledore came through the door, immediately followed by Madam Pomfrey.
"How did you--"
"Miss Granger came to me and let me know what happened on the stairs," Dumbledore explained.
"She doesn't know all of what happened, Albus," Snape sighed.
"What was the boy doing outside this room in the first place?" Madam Pomfrey asked, accusingly. Snape glared at her.
"I was getting to that," he said. He turned towards Dumbledore. "We were looking through some of Harry's presents when he got up to go to the bathroom. Minerva had told me he was allowed to be up for a little while, as long as he was in the room. So he went in and closed the door, and after a moment, I heard him fall against the door. I asked if he was all right, and when he didn't answer, I opened the door for myself. Harry was trying to hide behind a cupboard, but he was too weak to sit up, and he collapsed.
"That's when I saw that he'd cut himself again. I picked him up and took him to the bed, where I healed the cut; only the scar is there now.
"After that, I think I scared him because he crawled over to a corner and curled up, crying and begging for me not to hurt him. I tried to calm him down and tell him that I wasn't going to hurt him. Obviously, it didn't work. He ran around me and left the room, running down the hall. Amazingly, he was faster than me. When he got to the stairs, he couldn't stop, and he fell. Miss Granger got to him at the same time I did, and she went and told Remus what happened. Remus said that we shouldn't pick him up to move him, because he may have hurt his neck or back. So we stunned him, to carry him up here, and then woke him up once he was on the bed."
"That's quite a story, Severus," Dumbledore commented as Pomfrey got to work on Harry.
"You were right, Remus, his leg is broken," Madam Pomfrey confirmed. She sighed. "The poor boy's in enough pain as it is. I'm going to give him a sleeping potion, and more pain potion, before I do anything else."
"Perhaps I should leave, before I cause any more problems," Snape said, softly.
"Come to my office, Severus," Dumbledore ordered. "Poppy and Remus will be just fine with Harry." The Headmaster and the Potions master headed up to Dumbledore's office and entered, after giving the password.
"Tea, Severus?" Snape accepted the cup of tea with shaky hands. "Are you all right, my boy?"
"Albus, if you'd seen what he looked like, huddled in that corner..." Snape sighed, shaking his head.
"I don't need to witness it with Harry, Severus," Albus commented, gently. "I've already seen it from another student of mine."
"I don't know if I'll be able to help him through this," Severus whispered. "What if, the next time, he succeeds in... what he's trying to do?"
"You can help him, Severus, I know you can," Albus assured him. "You're the only one who can." The younger wizard glanced at the older.
"Was I as bad as he is now?"
"Yes, child, you were. After it happened, you would only let two people come near you: myself and Lily. There were times when we had to strap you to the bed, so that you couldn't hurt yourself." Dumbledore gave Snape a small smile. "I thought you were going to be the death of me. Nearly gave me a heart attack several times."
"I'm sorry, Albus," Snape said, sincerely. Dumbledore waved him off.
"I don't need an apology, boy. It's over now, and that's all I need."
"And now it's started again, with Harry." Dumbledore sighed, tiredly.
"Yes, it has."