Tuesday, September 14, 1993
Nine days later, Harry hobbled into Potions class, aided by Hermione, Ron, and a pair of crutches. Madam Pomfrey had opted to heal Harry's injuries as best she could with magic, so that he'd be able to use the crutches and not miss any more classes. The only bones that had to heal naturally were his leg and his ribs.
As Harry came into the room, the Gryffindors welcomed him back quietly, the majority of the Slytherins, however, started laughing and making snide remarks.
"Hey, Potter!" Pansy Parkinson called out. "What kind of wizard can survive You-Know-Who, but can't even stop his own Muggle relatives from beating him?"
Harry's eyes burned with tears, but he didn't reply. He just made his way to his seat, and before any Gryffindors could defend him, Snape swept in, robes flowing around him.
"One hundred points from Slytherin, and a week of detention for you, Miss Parkinson, as that was entirely unacceptable. Fifty points to Gryffindor, for Mr. Potter's ability to not make a comeback that was most certainly deserved by Miss Parkinson." Most of the class stared at him, their mouths dropped open. He waved his wand at the blackboard, and notes appeared. "Copy down your ingredients, and stop looking so surprised. Can anyone tell me what kind of potion we're making with these ingredients?" Hermione raised her hand, and Snape called on her.
"We're making a healing potion, sir."
"Five points to Gryffindor. Yes, we're making a healing potion, for Madam Pomfrey."
"Potter probably used up all she had," a Slytherin snickered.
"Fifteen points from Slytherin. Everyone, get your ingredients from my desk; Miss Granger, get Mr. Potter's for him. Start making your potions."
As the students made their potions, Snape walked around and inspected them. He stopped next to Harry and leaned over slightly.
"You need a little more wormwood." Harry put more wormwood into his cauldron and stirred it, pausing to rest a hand on his chest and take a breath.
"How are you feeling?" Snape wondered. Harry shrugged his shoulders.
"Chest still hurts," he mumbled. He glanced up at Snape with tears in his eyes. "How did they find out? I thought only the professors, Hermione, and Ron knew."
"I don't know, but I'll try to find out. Don't worry about it." He changed the subject. "Can you stay after class for a few moments? I'd like to discuss your make-up assignments with you." At the look on Harry's face, Snape added, "Miss Granger or Mr. Weasley may also stay, if you wish, and help you get to your next class."
"Okay," Harry agreed, glancing at his friends. Snape went back to his desk, and Ron volunteered to stay with Harry.
"And I'll tell Professor Flitwick you'll be late," Hermione offered. Harry nodded his thanks.
"I'm surprised Malfoy hasn't said anything to you, Harry," Ron commented.
The three glanced at Draco Malfoy, who was silently stirring his potion. His face didn't show the usual look of evil; in fact, he looked slightly distressed and deep in thought.
"That is rather odd," Hermione agreed.
"Professor?" Draco called quietly for Snape when the teacher came towards the back of the room again. Snape came to Draco's desk. "Can I go to the hospital wing?"
"Go ahead," Snape agreed. "Do you need someone to go with you?" Draco shook his head and made his way for the door.
"Harry, are you all right?" Hermione asked, noticing that Harry was wincing in pain, clenching his fists and taking in short, rapid breaths. He nodded, slightly.
"I can't...take deep breaths," he muttered. "When I do, this is what happens..." He sighed, shaking his head as the pain only slightly subsided. "I can't take this anymore..."
Leaning over, he picked up his crutches from the floor and used them to lift himself up. Then he slowly made his way to Professor Snape.
"Professor, can I go see Madam Pomfrey?"
"Yes, you may. Do you need one of your friends to go with you?" Harry shook his head.
"My potion's done, by the way. I'll try to be back before class is over."
"You still have over an hour. Take your time." Harry nodded his thanks, then left the room.
He was pretty speedy on crutches, Harry realized, when he soon caught up with Draco, who was slowly walking up the stairs towards the hospital wing.
"You all right?" Harry asked, after much hesitation. Draco, startled, snapped his head up to look at him.
"Why do you care?" he replied, turning his head back to watch where he was going.
"Just wondering," Harry sighed, quietly. "We were surprised when you didn't make any comments, like you usually do when something happens to me." Draco flinched.
"I just figured it's too cruel to make jokes about someone's family beating on them," he muttered. He glanced at Harry. "They really did, didn't they?" Harry's eyes betrayed him and began to tear up, so he watched the floor as they came closer to the hospital wing.
"Yeah. They did... Do you know how everyone found out?" Draco shook his head.
"Someone started a rumor yesterday; I never thought it would actually be true." Harry changed the subject.
"You going to be up here long?" he asked. Draco shrugged his shoulders.
"I just needed a break," he mumbled. "And I need Pomfrey to take a look at something, so who knows how long I'll be? Why do you ask? What are you coming up for?"
"Bandages need changed," Harry sighed. "Again. The one on my wrist keeps getting all bloodied up, but the ones around my chest... She puts them on too tight, and it's really painful to breathe. So I have to have them changed a couple of times every day."
By then, they were at the door. Draco opened it for Harry, then followed him inside. Madam Pomfrey was speaking with Professor Lupin, but they stopped talking when they saw the boys.
"What brings you two here?" Pomfrey asked, surprised. "And together, no less?"
"Met up in the hallway," Draco replied, tiredly. "My arm's been feeling strange; I was hoping you could tell me what's wrong with it."
"Come, sit, and let me have a look," Pomfrey said, leading Draco to a bed. "Harry, do you need your bandages changed?"
"Yes, ma'am," Harry responded, quietly.
"Remus, would you mind? You've done it before." Pomfrey proceeded to check over Draco's arm.
"Both of them, Harry?" Lupin asked. Harry nodded and followed Lupin to the bed next to Draco's. Lupin saw Harry looking over at Draco, who just stared back. "Would you like me to draw the curtain?"
"No, sir, it's fine." Harry removed his robes and his shirt, revealing white bandages wrapped around his torso, as well as his right wrist. "Can you change the ones around my chest first? They're too tight."
"Harry, you know they have to be tight," Lupin told him, carefully removing the wrappings. "Otherwise, they won't heal right."
"I can't breathe when they're on, it hurts," Harry sighed. "Why are you in here, anyway?"
"I don't have any classes right now, so I've been helping Madam Pomfrey out," Lupin replied. He began to wrap new bandages. "If it hurts too badly, tell me, all right?" He finished the bandages on Harry's chest with no problem, then moved on to his arm.
"Shouldn't it have stopped bleeding by now?" Harry wondered as Lupin removed the blood-soaked bandage and threw it away.
"Not necessarily," Lupin replied, softly. He always hated seeing that wrist. "All the movement in your arm could be aggravating the wound." He looked at Harry's face and saw that his eyes were closed. "Harry, keep your eyes open. Come on, you do this every time we fix this one. You know you have to keep your eyes open."
"Can I lay down? I'm dizzy..." Lupin helped Harry lay back on a pillow, then proceeded to clean his wrist and bandage it.
"Keep your eyes open," Lupin repeated. He tried to talk to Harry, to keep him awake. "How was your first class back, Harry?"
"They made fun of me," Harry sighed. "The Slytherins... Not all of them, but a lot of them." He glanced over at Draco, then closed his eyes again. "Can I go back to class now? I have to talk to Professor Snape...about my homework and stuff..."
"Do you really think you'll be able to make it back to class when you can't even keep your eyes open?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she wrapped a bandage around Draco's arm. "Both of you should stay in here for a while. Harry, if you're feeling better in a little while, then you can go back. Draco, you look like you haven't slept in weeks, so you need to stay and get some sleep."
"I'd be fine if I could breathe," Harry murmured, weakly. "Oh, I hate being in here..."
"I don't think either of you will have a problem falling asleep, so Professor Lupin and I will just leave you alone." The two left the room, while Draco and Harry just lay in their beds.
"What did she say about your arm?" Harry wondered.
"Fractured," Draco responded, quietly. He took a breath. "Pot--Harry--do you think me and you could talk after classes today? Or after dinner? Whatever."
"What about?" Harry asked, sleepily.
"I just...need to talk, and somehow it seems like you're the only one who can help, or at least understand."
"Yeah, sure... After classes, if we're awake..." Harry yawned and smiled slightly. "You know, Mal--Draco--you're not as bad as I thought you were."
"It was an act," Draco whispered, his eyes filling with tears. He wasn't sure if Harry even heard him, as they both drifted off to sleep.
~~~
When Harry awoke, hours later, he found a piece of paper on his chest.
Harry,
3:30, Quidditch field
Please don't bring anyone else, I don't want anyone else to know what I'm telling you yet.
D.M.
Harry looked around for Madam Pomfrey, but found that he was alone in the room.
"Madam Pomfrey?" She quickly came into the room after hearing him. "What time is it?"
"It's almost three-thirty," Pomfrey replied. Harry's eyes widened.
"I missed all my classes again," he sighed. "I'm never going to catch up..." He reached for his crutches and got off the bed.
"Make sure you get something to eat," Pomfrey instructed him. "You slept through lunch." Harry nodded and left, heading straight outside for the Quidditch field.
Once there, Harry spotted Draco. He was alone in the stands, seeming to be just staring at nothing as Harry slowly made his way up to him. Draco jumped a little when Harry suddenly appeared next to him. He looked at Harry's leg and apologized.
"I probably should have said to meet me somewhere else," Draco said. "The stairs were probably hard on your leg."
"Don't worry about it," Harry replied. "What's up? And why are you acting so different? It's like you're a different person."
"No... The person I've been for the past two years was acting. This is who I really am..." Draco's tone was sad and full of regret.
"I don't understand," Harry said, confused.
"You know my dad's a Death Eater, right?" Harry nodded. "Well, he wants to turn his only son into a perfect little Death Eater as well. That means, I have to hate you. I really don't hate you, Harry. The past two years, I've been threatened and forced to hate you by my father. I've been threatened into doing things to 'please the Dark Lord' my whole life. But then I found out what your 'family' was doing to you, and I decided that I had to tell someone. Harry, my parents abuse me, too. I should have told someone a long time ago, but--"
"But you thought it'd get better. Then it just kept getting worse and worse, until something really bad happened, and you can't take it anymore." Draco stared at Harry, his mouth hanging open.
"Exactly," he whispered. He shook his head. "Can you tell me what happened when you told Dumbledore and all the other teachers?"
"Well, I didn't exactly tell them," Harry explained. "That day I fell asleep in Potions, on the first day? Snape asked me all kinds of questions after class, but I wouldn't answer them. So he went to Dumbledore and told him he suspected something.
"The next night, I had a nightmare. I woke up and couldn't breathe, and I was having seizures. Ron says I nearly gave everyone in Gryffindor a heart attack... Someone went to find a teacher, and Lupin took me up to the hospital wing. Pomfrey found out all of my injuries, and she, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, and Snape all thought the Dursleys were abusing me." He left out the part about his wrist and continued.
"The next day, they all came back to ask me questions, and at first, I lied. Said I was in a car wreck, and that's how I got my injuries. Pomfrey shot that one down, commenting on the footprints on my chest and back. But then Snape said if I didn't tell the truth, they'd give me Veritaserum. So I said I'd answer their questions truthfully."
"What kinds of questions did they ask?"
"They asked if the Dursleys were abusing me, and if that's what my nightmares were about. They told me what Pomfrey found from my injuries and asked if there was anything else that she missed. They asked if my aunt and uncle gave me food." Harry took a breath, and a couple tears fell from his eyes.
"They asked me if they did anything besides hit me.... And they asked me if I've been hurting myself at all."
"And you have been," Draco said, softly. Harry nodded slightly.
"Yes. I have been." Draco rested his arms on his knees, then dropped his head to his arms.
"I have been, too," he admitted.
"You and the teachers are the only ones who know that part," Harry said, quietly. "Please, don't tell anyone."
"I won't," Draco promised. He changed the subject. "I assume you're not going back to live with your aunt and uncle." Harry shook his head.
"Dumbledore and the teachers are my guardians now." He sighed, covering his face with his hands. "Merlin, I feel like such an inconvenience... As if these people don't already have enough to deal with, I come along and stir everything up even more."
"Have you actually tried to...you know...just finish it?" Harry shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't really think about it," he replied. "When I cut... All I really think about it getting rid of the mental pain by causing physical pain. I know I can handle physical pain. But lately... I wonder if everyone would be better off without me." He looked at Draco. "Have you?" Draco nodded.
"The night I decided I couldn't handle it... That was the night I got it the worst," he whispered. "I slit my wrists... Freaked out at the last minute, tried to stop the blood, but I ended up passing out. I woke up; my mother had healed my wrists, probably so she and my father could mess with me some more."
"What did they do to send you over the edge?" Harry wondered. Draco shook his head, wiping his eyes.
"I can't... I can't talk about that yet..." He looked back at Harry. "What did they do to you to send you over?"
"Remember when I said the teachers asked if the Dursleys did anything besides hit me?" Draco nodded. "That's what they did to me..."
Harry stared across the field, trying to block out memories. He was unsuccessful, and different images and voices flew through his mind.
"Strip, boy! Take off your clothes!"
"When I tell you to do something, you do it!"
"What the Hell do you think you're doing?"
"When I'm through with you, you'll wish you'd never been born, you freak!"
"Harry! Harry, say something, you're scaring me!"
Harry fell over on his side, on the bench, as his body began to tremble. Draco carefully helped Harry to turn onto his back.
"Merlin, say something, Harry!"
"I-I can't...breathe..." Harry barely rasped out.
Draco looked around to see if any teachers were outside. Almost immediately, he spotted the dark form of Snape.
"Professor Snape!" Draco shouted. "Professor, help!"
Hearing the tone of Draco's voice, Snape immediately began to run towards the stands. Draco turned back to look at Harry, whose chest was quickly rising and falling. The boy's body continued to shake, so Draco put a hand on either side of him, so that he wouldn't fall from the bench.
"What happened?" Snape asked, taking a place next to Draco.
"I-I don't know! We were talking, and he just fell over and started shaking!"
"Harry?" Snape gently took the boy in his lap, cradling him in his arms. "Harry, can you take deep breaths?"
"Hurts... Make it...stop... C-can't breathe..."
"Draco, run ahead of me and tell Madam Pomfrey we're coming," Snape instructed.
Draco nodded and ran down the steps, and Snape made sure to support Harry as he carried him. As soon as they were on solid ground, Snape began to run towards the school. By the time they reached the hospital wing, Pomfrey was ready for them, and Harry had passed out. Snape lowered Harry to the bed, then stood back with Draco while Pomfrey got to work.
"Are you all right, Draco?" Snape asked the pale boy, gently. He didn't reply. "Perhaps you should go to your room and calm down a little; try to get some rest." Draco shook his head, staring at Harry, who was now lying motionless on the bed.
"I-I made him talk about it," Draco whispered. "He was remembering..." Snape led Draco to another bed, away from Harry, and drew the curtain. The two sat down, and Snape rested a hand on Draco's back.
"What were you talking to him about? And why were you talking to him? I thought you hated each other."
"I-I wanted to know--" Draco hesitated and didn't continue.
"What did you want to know?" Draco shook his head, dropping it into his hands.
"I can't tell you..." Snape stood up and made Draco do so as well.
"Come with me."
"Where are we going?" Draco asked as the two left the hospital wing.
"You have two choices," Snape replied. "I know that something is going on, and it seems like that something is important. So your first choice is that you can talk to me and tell me what's wrong. Your second choice is that you can talk to Headmaster Dumbledore and tell him what's wrong."
"No, Professor, I can't tell anyone else yet!" Draco protested, his eyes wide. Before either of them could say anything else, McGonagall came up to them.
"Mr. Malfoy, we just got a message from your father," she told him. "You're needed at home tonight. You can use the fireplace in Headmaster Dumbledore's office."