It had been a month already. Ever since that day, she had sworn away
water. No longer did she think taking showers were relaxing, instead, it
became some sort of torture for her. The look on Vaughn's face as he
smashed into the door, the huge wave crashing over him.
It was summer. Francie had thought it strange of her sudden dislike of swimming and the beach. She thought it was the time of the month, but that time passed, and nothing changed in her attitude.
The second to hardest part of this whole ordeal was that she couldn't let her feelings out. He, the only man and person in the world that she could confide in, was gone. She couldn't bring herself to say the word "dead." She had to go to work every day, pretending as if everything was normal. And the CIA. Her new handler was a man named Peter Lee. He was nice and all, but he wasn't Vaughn. Weiss had kindly declined the offer to "handle" her, because he knew that he would be a constant reminder. As if one more would make a difference. Every time she went grocery shopping, the Slush-O's would catch her eye. And picture frames. Antiques. Every sun- bleached dirty blonde guy. Every man in a suit. Anyone carrying a suitcase. Leather trench coats. Pizza stores. Even Red Cross vans.
The hardest part was that he would never come back. No one to talk to about her job, her mom, her father, she couldn't tell the truth to anyone.
"Syd! Will and I are going to the beach. You sure you don't want to come?" Francie asked, sticking her head into Sydney's room.
"Yeah, you two go on ahead," Sydney managed a smile.
"Well, OK then. We'll see you later," Francie replied.
After they left, Sydney lay on her bed, rethinking the events that had changed her life so drastically. First, her mother. Vaughn was surprisingly understanding when dismiss the whole thing, claiming that her mother's actions had no bearing on her. When he showed Sydney the photocopied page of his father's file, she felt like she was going to start crying. Not just because she found out her mother killed another innocent, but because it had affected Vaughn in so many ways possible. Not growing up with a mother was bad for Sydney, but not having a father figure in your life was even worse. There was no one to take you to baseball games, or in Vaughn's case, hockey games. There was no one cheering for him in the bleachers because his mother needed to work to earn enough money to pass by. Next was Will. The kiss, and the other kiss.and him seeing her with the pink hair in Taipei. And Will being kidnapped by Sark. Beat up, and teeth pulled. Bloody and weak. At least now he moved on. No more stories or investigations of SD-6. No nothing. Just articles about non-politics. He had no idea about Vaughn. No idea about Noah. No idea about her CIA affiliations. But he said he loved her for her, not what she did for a living. But love wasn't what she wanted from him. At least not the kind of love he was talking about. She wanted that kind of love from Vaughn, and she had that kind of love to give back to him. If only she could see him one more time, she would confess these feelings to him. But saying that was useless now. No more second chances. Vaughn drowning.being hit by that giant Titanic-sized wave. That was even more horrifying than seeing people being killed by SD-6. Worse than the realization that her mother was "The Man." It was a feeling worse than anything she had ever felt. When their eyes locked, they both knew he wasn't going to make it. After the horrible image of Vaughn's face being plastered to the window, nothing else was going to make her cry. Maybe just the bubble she saw through the window.without Vaughn.
Surprisingly however, after being captured by her mother, Sydney was let go. But she didn't want to leave. Not because she wanted to see her mother longer, but because she knew Vaughn's body was somewhere in the building. Somewhere.
--
So many surprises these days, Sydney thought. The CIA had granted to permission to attend Vaughn's funeral. There was nothing in the casket. No body had been found. Of course, even if the CIA hadn't granted her permission, she would have found a way to attend anyway.
Originally, Devlin was furious that she, Jack, and Vaughn had attempted this mission without it being authorized, but after learning what happened to Vaughn, and who "The Man" was, he relented. No use adding salt to the wound, he concluded. Sydney was emotionless about his decision. No appreciation towards Devlin was felt. If punishment was allotted, she would not have cared.
"Syd? What's wrong?" Will's voice asked from the doorway.
"What do you mean?" Sydney asked, keeping her voice steady. Training at SD-6 had done her well.
"Well, you're staring out the window for one thing. It's three in the afternoon. You should be out."
"Doing what?"
"I don't know. Is something wrong at work?"
"No, everything's the same. I have another trip on Monday."
"Where's Sloane making you go this time?" Will asked, bitterness falling from his words.
"Spain."
--
Sydney stood by the tree, staring down at the mahogany casket. The raindrops pelted against the shiny wood surface, and dripped to the grass. Everyone was under black umbrellas, while the only thing shielding Sydney from the harsh rain was the tree, and that wasn't working. She was covered in black clothing. Clothes Vaughn had never seen before. Different from the ones she wore to Danny's funeral. For some reason, she had deliberated over what to wear to Vaughn's funeral more than she did Danny's. She wanted to look her best but in a conservative way, because it would be the last time anyone mentioned Vaughn in front of her. Of that, she was certain. Devlin wouldn't want to risk an emotional breakdown, and her father had never really liked Vaughn anyway. Maybe he respected him, but not fully.
The rain and her tears mixed together on her face, and her eyes felt sore from crying. From where she was standing, she could faintly hear Devlin speaking about him. The priest was finished reading from his Bible, and was standing to the side.
"Michael Vaughn was and still is a patriot of this country. He risked his life to destroy our enemies."
Sydney let her gaze shift. A row of CIA agents was standing in the back, paying their respects. Their heads were bent, and she could see Weiss in there.
A blonde caught her eye. She was wearing a fashionable black dress, with a veil over her head, one of those meshy types, like the ones wives would wear to their husbands' funeral. Alice. The blonde from the picture in his office. She looked miserable, like a drowned rat. That's probably how I look, Sydney said to herself, studying the woman. Next to Alice was Vaughn's mother. He had her face shape and nose. She was clutching at Alice, sobs erupting from her throat. Devlin looked at her for a second, and sympathy, pity, and compassion was shown all over his face. To go through two deaths in the family was horrible.
Devlin was now concluding his speech. "Would anyone want to say something about Michael?"
Mrs. Vaughn walked up, helped by Alice. "My son," she started as Devlin backed away. "My son.was the best one a mother could ever hope for. Although sometimes he didn't listen to me, he was."
More tears fell down Sydney's face as she watched Mrs. Vaughn search for the right words.
"He was, perfect."
Mrs. Vaughn began sobbing openly now. Alice took her hand and looked up.
"Michael was the best friend in the world, and I would do anything to get him back," Alice looked down sorrowfully.
Weiss stepped forward. "I want to say something. The last time Mike and I spoke, was when we had an argument. Over some.personal matters at the office," he started, looking towards Sydney. "I can't stand not knowing if he forgave me or not, but if I could turn back time, I would erase it all. His office was always so inviting. I could go there to relax or to hide from other agents. He was always willing to listen, and if he were here right now, he would want me to say that he loves you."
Sydney froze at that comment. She knew deep inside that Weiss was directing it at her, but without looking at her fully.
" I remember one time, just last month, we were talking about what we wanted our loved ones to know, in case we died. It was a morbid subject, but it came with the job. I'm not going to leave anyone out just because it might seem inappropriate, and against protocol. These would have been his last words, and I believe they have the right to be said in front of all of you. Mrs. Vaughn, he wanted you to know that he'll always be there for you, in your heart. And that he loves you. Mr. Devlin, Mike would have said that he was sorry he didn't get to finish his assignment," Weiss said with a light smile. "Alice, Mike wanted you to know that you were a great friend, and love always comes in the territory of friendship."
As Weiss droned on, Sydney once again focused on the casket. The rain was coming down harder now, and she could see the tiny raindrops bounce up and down. She remembered their hug, their conversation at the pier, at the train station when he spoke about his dad.
"And to Sydney," Weiss said suddenly, a little louder than before. Sydney looked up, surprised that he spoke her name. "He wanted you to go on with life. Have fun and don't lose yourself in your job. Keep eating pizza, and he didn't tell me this, but I could tell. He loves you."
Mrs. Vaughn looked around frantically, looking for this Sydney that had captured her son's love, but didn't see anyone. Alice was looking also, a look of jealousness on her face.
But Sydney almost laughed out loud. Only Vaughn would put a joke into his last words. Keep eating pizza.I swear to God, I will eat pizza all the time if it makes him happy.
Then she started crying again. She didn't care if SD-6 was watching her right now. None of it would matter. Just that Vaughn loved her.
It was summer. Francie had thought it strange of her sudden dislike of swimming and the beach. She thought it was the time of the month, but that time passed, and nothing changed in her attitude.
The second to hardest part of this whole ordeal was that she couldn't let her feelings out. He, the only man and person in the world that she could confide in, was gone. She couldn't bring herself to say the word "dead." She had to go to work every day, pretending as if everything was normal. And the CIA. Her new handler was a man named Peter Lee. He was nice and all, but he wasn't Vaughn. Weiss had kindly declined the offer to "handle" her, because he knew that he would be a constant reminder. As if one more would make a difference. Every time she went grocery shopping, the Slush-O's would catch her eye. And picture frames. Antiques. Every sun- bleached dirty blonde guy. Every man in a suit. Anyone carrying a suitcase. Leather trench coats. Pizza stores. Even Red Cross vans.
The hardest part was that he would never come back. No one to talk to about her job, her mom, her father, she couldn't tell the truth to anyone.
"Syd! Will and I are going to the beach. You sure you don't want to come?" Francie asked, sticking her head into Sydney's room.
"Yeah, you two go on ahead," Sydney managed a smile.
"Well, OK then. We'll see you later," Francie replied.
After they left, Sydney lay on her bed, rethinking the events that had changed her life so drastically. First, her mother. Vaughn was surprisingly understanding when dismiss the whole thing, claiming that her mother's actions had no bearing on her. When he showed Sydney the photocopied page of his father's file, she felt like she was going to start crying. Not just because she found out her mother killed another innocent, but because it had affected Vaughn in so many ways possible. Not growing up with a mother was bad for Sydney, but not having a father figure in your life was even worse. There was no one to take you to baseball games, or in Vaughn's case, hockey games. There was no one cheering for him in the bleachers because his mother needed to work to earn enough money to pass by. Next was Will. The kiss, and the other kiss.and him seeing her with the pink hair in Taipei. And Will being kidnapped by Sark. Beat up, and teeth pulled. Bloody and weak. At least now he moved on. No more stories or investigations of SD-6. No nothing. Just articles about non-politics. He had no idea about Vaughn. No idea about Noah. No idea about her CIA affiliations. But he said he loved her for her, not what she did for a living. But love wasn't what she wanted from him. At least not the kind of love he was talking about. She wanted that kind of love from Vaughn, and she had that kind of love to give back to him. If only she could see him one more time, she would confess these feelings to him. But saying that was useless now. No more second chances. Vaughn drowning.being hit by that giant Titanic-sized wave. That was even more horrifying than seeing people being killed by SD-6. Worse than the realization that her mother was "The Man." It was a feeling worse than anything she had ever felt. When their eyes locked, they both knew he wasn't going to make it. After the horrible image of Vaughn's face being plastered to the window, nothing else was going to make her cry. Maybe just the bubble she saw through the window.without Vaughn.
Surprisingly however, after being captured by her mother, Sydney was let go. But she didn't want to leave. Not because she wanted to see her mother longer, but because she knew Vaughn's body was somewhere in the building. Somewhere.
--
So many surprises these days, Sydney thought. The CIA had granted to permission to attend Vaughn's funeral. There was nothing in the casket. No body had been found. Of course, even if the CIA hadn't granted her permission, she would have found a way to attend anyway.
Originally, Devlin was furious that she, Jack, and Vaughn had attempted this mission without it being authorized, but after learning what happened to Vaughn, and who "The Man" was, he relented. No use adding salt to the wound, he concluded. Sydney was emotionless about his decision. No appreciation towards Devlin was felt. If punishment was allotted, she would not have cared.
"Syd? What's wrong?" Will's voice asked from the doorway.
"What do you mean?" Sydney asked, keeping her voice steady. Training at SD-6 had done her well.
"Well, you're staring out the window for one thing. It's three in the afternoon. You should be out."
"Doing what?"
"I don't know. Is something wrong at work?"
"No, everything's the same. I have another trip on Monday."
"Where's Sloane making you go this time?" Will asked, bitterness falling from his words.
"Spain."
--
Sydney stood by the tree, staring down at the mahogany casket. The raindrops pelted against the shiny wood surface, and dripped to the grass. Everyone was under black umbrellas, while the only thing shielding Sydney from the harsh rain was the tree, and that wasn't working. She was covered in black clothing. Clothes Vaughn had never seen before. Different from the ones she wore to Danny's funeral. For some reason, she had deliberated over what to wear to Vaughn's funeral more than she did Danny's. She wanted to look her best but in a conservative way, because it would be the last time anyone mentioned Vaughn in front of her. Of that, she was certain. Devlin wouldn't want to risk an emotional breakdown, and her father had never really liked Vaughn anyway. Maybe he respected him, but not fully.
The rain and her tears mixed together on her face, and her eyes felt sore from crying. From where she was standing, she could faintly hear Devlin speaking about him. The priest was finished reading from his Bible, and was standing to the side.
"Michael Vaughn was and still is a patriot of this country. He risked his life to destroy our enemies."
Sydney let her gaze shift. A row of CIA agents was standing in the back, paying their respects. Their heads were bent, and she could see Weiss in there.
A blonde caught her eye. She was wearing a fashionable black dress, with a veil over her head, one of those meshy types, like the ones wives would wear to their husbands' funeral. Alice. The blonde from the picture in his office. She looked miserable, like a drowned rat. That's probably how I look, Sydney said to herself, studying the woman. Next to Alice was Vaughn's mother. He had her face shape and nose. She was clutching at Alice, sobs erupting from her throat. Devlin looked at her for a second, and sympathy, pity, and compassion was shown all over his face. To go through two deaths in the family was horrible.
Devlin was now concluding his speech. "Would anyone want to say something about Michael?"
Mrs. Vaughn walked up, helped by Alice. "My son," she started as Devlin backed away. "My son.was the best one a mother could ever hope for. Although sometimes he didn't listen to me, he was."
More tears fell down Sydney's face as she watched Mrs. Vaughn search for the right words.
"He was, perfect."
Mrs. Vaughn began sobbing openly now. Alice took her hand and looked up.
"Michael was the best friend in the world, and I would do anything to get him back," Alice looked down sorrowfully.
Weiss stepped forward. "I want to say something. The last time Mike and I spoke, was when we had an argument. Over some.personal matters at the office," he started, looking towards Sydney. "I can't stand not knowing if he forgave me or not, but if I could turn back time, I would erase it all. His office was always so inviting. I could go there to relax or to hide from other agents. He was always willing to listen, and if he were here right now, he would want me to say that he loves you."
Sydney froze at that comment. She knew deep inside that Weiss was directing it at her, but without looking at her fully.
" I remember one time, just last month, we were talking about what we wanted our loved ones to know, in case we died. It was a morbid subject, but it came with the job. I'm not going to leave anyone out just because it might seem inappropriate, and against protocol. These would have been his last words, and I believe they have the right to be said in front of all of you. Mrs. Vaughn, he wanted you to know that he'll always be there for you, in your heart. And that he loves you. Mr. Devlin, Mike would have said that he was sorry he didn't get to finish his assignment," Weiss said with a light smile. "Alice, Mike wanted you to know that you were a great friend, and love always comes in the territory of friendship."
As Weiss droned on, Sydney once again focused on the casket. The rain was coming down harder now, and she could see the tiny raindrops bounce up and down. She remembered their hug, their conversation at the pier, at the train station when he spoke about his dad.
"And to Sydney," Weiss said suddenly, a little louder than before. Sydney looked up, surprised that he spoke her name. "He wanted you to go on with life. Have fun and don't lose yourself in your job. Keep eating pizza, and he didn't tell me this, but I could tell. He loves you."
Mrs. Vaughn looked around frantically, looking for this Sydney that had captured her son's love, but didn't see anyone. Alice was looking also, a look of jealousness on her face.
But Sydney almost laughed out loud. Only Vaughn would put a joke into his last words. Keep eating pizza.I swear to God, I will eat pizza all the time if it makes him happy.
Then she started crying again. She didn't care if SD-6 was watching her right now. None of it would matter. Just that Vaughn loved her.