Madness
(part four)
Roger woke up reluctantly. He had been having such a good dream...Everyone had been laughing, and the sun had been shining like a beacon on all the students at Hogwarts. He had just finished his N.E.W.Ts, and he knew in his heart that he had passed everything. Susan had been there too, laughing beside him as she dangled her hand in the lake.
Susan... He sat up suddenly, catapulting himself off his bed and getting tangled in the curtains that draped his bed in blue. He struggled to sit upright, the blue material that had seemed so harmless on every other night now cutting off his air. He gasped, and with a final heave threw off the oppressive curtain. No one else was in the dorm. He guessed that they had all already went down to breakfast. All his fear came rushing back, then, and he dragged himself down the staircase. He stopped at the bottom and found a table to sit at, and tried to collect himself. No one noticed him.
What did he want to have happen? He tried to think of the lectures his father had given him when he had come to him with a problem. Be logical...try to find a reasonable solution...He winced. All the logic in the world couldn't overcome his feelings.
He couldn't be responsible for the ending of a life. He had to tell Susan.
As he made his way to the Library after breakfast, his thoughts whirled around him. He changed his mind several times. He tried to reason with himself. Was the thing floating inside Susan a baby yet? It wouldn't be so unreasonable to just believe that what they were doing was right. His father had always said, "If you have a problem, Roger, just try to think of a way to eliminate it." Yes.
He was just getting settled into his decision when a sudden thought startled him. Was the baby magic yet? When did magic start in a child? Was there even a spell that would terminate a witch's pregnancy? This whole new round of questions brought him back to where he had started.
No. He couldn't.
By the time he reached the massive doors of the Library, all that he had worked out was that he didn't want Susan to terminate this pregnancy, but he didn't want the baby, either.
He just wanted it over.
Roger woke up reluctantly. He had been having such a good dream...Everyone had been laughing, and the sun had been shining like a beacon on all the students at Hogwarts. He had just finished his N.E.W.Ts, and he knew in his heart that he had passed everything. Susan had been there too, laughing beside him as she dangled her hand in the lake.
Susan... He sat up suddenly, catapulting himself off his bed and getting tangled in the curtains that draped his bed in blue. He struggled to sit upright, the blue material that had seemed so harmless on every other night now cutting off his air. He gasped, and with a final heave threw off the oppressive curtain. No one else was in the dorm. He guessed that they had all already went down to breakfast. All his fear came rushing back, then, and he dragged himself down the staircase. He stopped at the bottom and found a table to sit at, and tried to collect himself. No one noticed him.
What did he want to have happen? He tried to think of the lectures his father had given him when he had come to him with a problem. Be logical...try to find a reasonable solution...He winced. All the logic in the world couldn't overcome his feelings.
He couldn't be responsible for the ending of a life. He had to tell Susan.
As he made his way to the Library after breakfast, his thoughts whirled around him. He changed his mind several times. He tried to reason with himself. Was the thing floating inside Susan a baby yet? It wouldn't be so unreasonable to just believe that what they were doing was right. His father had always said, "If you have a problem, Roger, just try to think of a way to eliminate it." Yes.
He was just getting settled into his decision when a sudden thought startled him. Was the baby magic yet? When did magic start in a child? Was there even a spell that would terminate a witch's pregnancy? This whole new round of questions brought him back to where he had started.
No. He couldn't.
By the time he reached the massive doors of the Library, all that he had worked out was that he didn't want Susan to terminate this pregnancy, but he didn't want the baby, either.
He just wanted it over.