Only a Moment . . .
Chapter6
~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ **~~
"Unexpected answers"
Wufei froze.` No, she didn't just say that. What have I done? What was I doing to frighten her?` He released his grip around her and moved away. It then hit him. `I'm being touchy with her. I almost kissed her at the plant, and I held her last night before she ran from me. And then on top of that I had almost stripped her! Why am I such an idiot for doing that stuff in the first place? The running should have been a clue in! No . . . the backing away was the first clue, but I was just too stupid not to notice it, now I've scared her.`
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so touchy with you. I just . . . "He began. `Man saying you're sorry is hard enough, but saying you're sorry about this?` If Wufei could have, he would have crawled under his bed and stayed there. He felt so bad for what he had done to Sally.
"No Wufei it's not that. It's not you." Sally's voice cracked with every word.
"Yes it is, you just said it was."
"It's me . . . I don't want to hurt you. I should have told you before now. But I didn't want to burden you." Her words were cut into by her sobs. She had to tell him now. She had to tell him everything. It wasn't fair to leave him in the dark about something like this. And she was now out of time to do anything to change it. `This was going to happen so he might as well know before it does. I already have everything that needs to be done, finished so there is no one who will have to do anything when the time comes. They have all been so good to me, especially Wufei. I just wish I had more time to spend with him. He's being so nice right, now. It will be hard to say good bye to him. I hope he won't be mad at me. I'm not sure I could take that right now. I'm having such a hard time as it is, I feel so useless.`
Wufei watched her start to cry. He hated to see her cry like this. He wanted to take her pain away but how? He was still unsure about another hug, but it was better then watching her do this alone. Again he moved forward and enclosed her in his arms. He cradled her head against his chest.
"Its ok, just tell me what the problem is."
"Wufei . . . " Each choked word seamed like a cry for help. "I. . . I'm." Her voice choked with more tears. Her body quaked with sobs as she fought them back. Never had she ever wanted to cry in front of Wufei. Her mind went back over all the times he had called her a weak onna, and every time she had promised herself that she would never prove him wrong, and now here she was seeking comfort from him. Even if she did love him, she did have pride and, crying for him to see, was something she had never wanted to do.
Wufei now dangled from every word she said. `Was she saying what I think she's trying to say? Had she been hurt like that? Is that what she was tying to tell me? On our last mission had she been forced against her will to do something like that? She had said nothing had happened to her and she was fine but there had been too much worry, and fear in the response she gave. However I had let it pass assuming that if anything had happened she would have said not cover it up. She is a much stronger person then to let it slide for fear of shame.`
He had lost her for a day or two after they had been captured, and by the time backup had gotten there, and he found her tided up in one of the back rooms. She had been striped of most of her clothing and was extremely sick from pneumonia. When he went to help her, she had moved away in fear. She had called him by another name, another man. Someone that had most likely hurt her. She was afraid of him, for some reason . . . He prayed no. He would personally track down and kill each and everyone who touched her, and did this to her! His teeth grinded together, as his nails drew blood from his palms. No he was too weak to protect her. He should have been there.
"Wufei I'm . . . "
"It's all right. I'll take care of you." He wrapped her tighter in his embrace trying to control her shaking. Closing his eyes he hid his face in her soft hair. He would take care of her from anyone else who came along.
"Wufei, I'm going to die." Sally choked on her tears. God she felt so scared. She hated herself for telling him, and putting this on his shoulders, but he deserved to know what was going on. Maybe it was better to tell him then let him figure it out by himself. After four years of being partners, it was the least she could do.
Wufei's heart stopped.`What does that mean? What does she mean she's going to die? I don't understand . . . How would she know something like this?`
"Sally . . . " Wufei prayed into her hair. `She was dying? How could she be dying? She can't die. She is too strong.` His head was spinning from the information that Sally had just given him. Wufei was going to lose the best partner he had ever had, and in many ways his best friend too. He couldn't go through losing someone he loved again . . . He loved her? Yes . . . but it didn't seem to matter anymore, now she was gone he was alone. Just like when he lost Merina, and he felt after the Eve wars had ended and he had no meaning. He was now alone again. `This is the second time I've lost my love . . . Why does this always happen to me? I know I did some unacceptable things in my past but do I have to go through that again?`
"Wufei. What's wrong?"She brushed her tears away and, and gazed up into his face.
"No Sally. I don't want to lose you. I don't . . . " His voice was low. Wufei closed his eyes as he tilted his head back against the tree wall. He was finding it hard to get the right words together. He didn't want to say good bye.
"Wufei I'm not dead yet. I still have some time left . . . Stop it. You're making me feel even more guilty for telling you. Please Wufei."As she finished this her tears and pain came back in a rush. Clinging to his chest she started to sob again. She had hurt him, the last thing she wanted to do. This was all her faut, and there was nothing she could do to fix it.
Wufei heard her pleads, and looked at her. Her face was red from crying, and trying to hold it back. He had to be strong for her. She needed his strength. Pushing his sadness aside he wrapped her in his arms again and started to rub her back to calm her, and his feelings.
"I'm sorry. It's all right." Wufei nuzzled the top of her head in comfort. `This would explain why she had been so down lately. She must have found out a few weeks ago. Now that I think about it that's when I noticed she was behaving a bit differently. She stopped arguing with me and let me win, even when I knew she was right. And then this tired look she's been getting, like not enough sleep or like something was slowly draining her strength. When we had that dinner banquet a week ago, she didn't eat anything where she normally ate all she could, and took some home. But she never even got a plate. Why am I so stupid!? Why didn't I notice this before? Why haven't I been helping her like I should have been this whole time. . .`
"Please stop crying Sally." He wiped the tears from her face again. "How did this happen? Did they do something to you on our last mission? Sally what did they do to you, please you have to tell me if you want me to help you."
"Wufei they did nothing to me but beat me. They never touched me like that, if that is what your thinking. I was sick before we went on that mission. There is nothing that can be done about it. I'm going to die soon and . . . "
"How soon?"An urgency in his voice.
"My doctor said I had about a year and a half or so left . . . I got everything taken care of so no one has to worry about anything when the time comes. I've been looking around for a new partner for you, and I . . . "
"I don't want a new partner."
Sally bit back the tears again.` Oh why does he have to be like this? He's killing me, it hurts so much. How come he can't be that arrogant, annoying person he usually is? Why is he acting so soft, and caring toward me? Because I'm dying? That's it, he's taking pity on me, because I'm a weak woman, and am incapable to get through this on my own. `
"Sorry."
"Don't say that! It's not you, don't say it again."She did not want special treatment from him. It would only draw her mind back to the reason for it. What she wanted him to do was act as if nothing had happened. As if she had never told him.
Wufei shut his mouth before he said it again. He was so sorry for not seeing it before, and waiting till the last minute again to realize what she meant to him. "How?"
"What?" Sally asked with a sniffle.
"How are you going to . . . What is causing this?"Wufei held her close to him. It felt good to have her this close. They had long sense forgot about the fact that they were both nude except for the sleeping bags around them, but neither cared.
"Nothing that can be stopped. It is one of the new forms of blood cancer . . . It is just running its corse with me, there's nothing that can be done."
Rain continued to pelt down outside their small home, while the thunder and lighting had stopped. The wind that blew in the cracks around the bag stung his tan skin with icy teeth. Like frozen ants, the cold air marched up his spine and dug its fangs into his the soft parts of his neck. The air seemed to be getting colder all of a sudden. He pulled the sleeping bag up over his head covering his neck.
"Sally, have you always known about this? I mean a long time, or just recently?"After he said it, it seamed like a pointless question. Why would it matter? She's going to die one way or the other.
"I found out about four years ago, I think. A bit after we first met. The new drugs I've been taking are helping me a little. . . Four years. It seems like such a long time ago doesn't it? I'm surprised we haven't killed each other." She smiled weakly, her strength drained from her by the crying. The void in her soul steadily opening into darkness, and despair. Dragging her down with long black arms never to be seen again. That's how she felt. Falling with no hope. No one to catch her, not even Wufei.
He held her tighter, as he remembered all they had gone through together. Dangerous missions, endless hours of paperwork long into the night, and the daily arguments which he had become accustomed too. They were soon going to be gone forever, and not a thing he could do. His job, well, her in particular had occupied the majority of the past four years. They shared an office together. Had to read over and fill out the same forms for hours, upon hours at a time. Went on most of their missions together. Shared the same hotel room on most of their missions. And those were the regular payed work hours. That didn't include the dinner banquets, the after work hours in the office. The trips to the coffee shop on the corner. The parties, dances, and many other things that they had done.
His mind then wandered to all the things he hadn't done with her, and every chance he had to do them. The countless dances, and gatherings they had been forced to go to by Lady Une. Every time he had passed her sitting by herself at one of the tables watching those dancing before her. She had looked somewhat sad, and lost. `Why didn't I do something? I could have danced with her, at least once! It was pride, I was too proud to see what was happening to her, so I walked by. I am such an ass. Why, why, why. What was wrong with me?` He cursed himself repeatedly. If he had only taken a moment to see what was going on around him he could have been of some help to her. Instead he had been nothing but a selfish prick.
Sally relaxed in his arm. She was amazed at how much he had grown sense they had first met. He was no longer the lost little boy she had saved, but a man. He could take care of himself, he didn't need her around anymore. Her personal task of making sure he lived long enough to become a man was over. Now she could rest and not have to worry about him.
Her only wish was that he felt the same as her. All the time they had spent together, she couldn't help but fall in love with him. No matter how arrogant, how stubborn, how selfish he was, there was something about him that she couldn't resist. The way he presented himself for being equal to or above others around him. The way he never seemed to be afraid of anything at all. The way she wished she could have been as a child, or the way she wanted to be now.
She did not want to be afraid of this death before her. This time when she faced death there was no turning, no running. She was going to face this and not be afraid. However, there was one thing on her mind at that time. She wanted to tell Wufei how she felt about him, and that scared her worse then death. She wanted to tell him that despite everything he had done, or said to her she was fully, unquestionably, head over heals in love with him. But it didn't matter. Time was up. If she were to tell him now, this would only put more on his shoulders.
"Sally I wish you had told me sooner . . . I. There are so many things.." Every word was a struggle.
"Wufei, you know what." Sally couldn't put up with this anymore.` Please stop right now Wufei, just act normal. Forget I told you and be stubborn and arrogant again. This gentleness from you, I don't know how to take it.`
"What?"he asked softly.
She smiled softly. "Your acting completely out of character you know this right?"
"I'm finding it hard to.. Talk about this.."
"So am I ." Silence fell between them again. The storm had eased up sense they had started talking, and a few bits of light began to poke through the holes in the plastic bag door, with it the after sent of the rain drifted in.
Wufei's vision moved to the floor where the communicator lay blinking. They had not yet turned it on. Picking it up he examined it himself. Quite simple, and looked like it might just work, but he did not know how to activate it. Some of the buttons were from the communicator, and one button from his razor. He frowned and rubbed his chin, he would be alright till they got back to Head Quarters, a nice hot shower was what he wanted. 'Then an hour or two by myself to do some mediating, ah yes. That would be just right. But what about Sally? I will have to stay close to her from now on. She is too weak to be left alone.` Grinning he thought of what she would have said if she had heard him. Well he wasn't going to spend another day in this tree, he wanted to go home.
"Sally, how do you.." Wufei stopped when he looked down at her. She had fallen asleep in his arms again. This was becoming a habit with her. He want to wake her up but he thought better of it. `She needs all the sleep she can get right now, I'll just wait till she wakes to activate it, it shouldn't be too long I hope.`
TBC. . .
Chapter6
~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ **~~
"Unexpected answers"
Wufei froze.` No, she didn't just say that. What have I done? What was I doing to frighten her?` He released his grip around her and moved away. It then hit him. `I'm being touchy with her. I almost kissed her at the plant, and I held her last night before she ran from me. And then on top of that I had almost stripped her! Why am I such an idiot for doing that stuff in the first place? The running should have been a clue in! No . . . the backing away was the first clue, but I was just too stupid not to notice it, now I've scared her.`
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so touchy with you. I just . . . "He began. `Man saying you're sorry is hard enough, but saying you're sorry about this?` If Wufei could have, he would have crawled under his bed and stayed there. He felt so bad for what he had done to Sally.
"No Wufei it's not that. It's not you." Sally's voice cracked with every word.
"Yes it is, you just said it was."
"It's me . . . I don't want to hurt you. I should have told you before now. But I didn't want to burden you." Her words were cut into by her sobs. She had to tell him now. She had to tell him everything. It wasn't fair to leave him in the dark about something like this. And she was now out of time to do anything to change it. `This was going to happen so he might as well know before it does. I already have everything that needs to be done, finished so there is no one who will have to do anything when the time comes. They have all been so good to me, especially Wufei. I just wish I had more time to spend with him. He's being so nice right, now. It will be hard to say good bye to him. I hope he won't be mad at me. I'm not sure I could take that right now. I'm having such a hard time as it is, I feel so useless.`
Wufei watched her start to cry. He hated to see her cry like this. He wanted to take her pain away but how? He was still unsure about another hug, but it was better then watching her do this alone. Again he moved forward and enclosed her in his arms. He cradled her head against his chest.
"Its ok, just tell me what the problem is."
"Wufei . . . " Each choked word seamed like a cry for help. "I. . . I'm." Her voice choked with more tears. Her body quaked with sobs as she fought them back. Never had she ever wanted to cry in front of Wufei. Her mind went back over all the times he had called her a weak onna, and every time she had promised herself that she would never prove him wrong, and now here she was seeking comfort from him. Even if she did love him, she did have pride and, crying for him to see, was something she had never wanted to do.
Wufei now dangled from every word she said. `Was she saying what I think she's trying to say? Had she been hurt like that? Is that what she was tying to tell me? On our last mission had she been forced against her will to do something like that? She had said nothing had happened to her and she was fine but there had been too much worry, and fear in the response she gave. However I had let it pass assuming that if anything had happened she would have said not cover it up. She is a much stronger person then to let it slide for fear of shame.`
He had lost her for a day or two after they had been captured, and by the time backup had gotten there, and he found her tided up in one of the back rooms. She had been striped of most of her clothing and was extremely sick from pneumonia. When he went to help her, she had moved away in fear. She had called him by another name, another man. Someone that had most likely hurt her. She was afraid of him, for some reason . . . He prayed no. He would personally track down and kill each and everyone who touched her, and did this to her! His teeth grinded together, as his nails drew blood from his palms. No he was too weak to protect her. He should have been there.
"Wufei I'm . . . "
"It's all right. I'll take care of you." He wrapped her tighter in his embrace trying to control her shaking. Closing his eyes he hid his face in her soft hair. He would take care of her from anyone else who came along.
"Wufei, I'm going to die." Sally choked on her tears. God she felt so scared. She hated herself for telling him, and putting this on his shoulders, but he deserved to know what was going on. Maybe it was better to tell him then let him figure it out by himself. After four years of being partners, it was the least she could do.
Wufei's heart stopped.`What does that mean? What does she mean she's going to die? I don't understand . . . How would she know something like this?`
"Sally . . . " Wufei prayed into her hair. `She was dying? How could she be dying? She can't die. She is too strong.` His head was spinning from the information that Sally had just given him. Wufei was going to lose the best partner he had ever had, and in many ways his best friend too. He couldn't go through losing someone he loved again . . . He loved her? Yes . . . but it didn't seem to matter anymore, now she was gone he was alone. Just like when he lost Merina, and he felt after the Eve wars had ended and he had no meaning. He was now alone again. `This is the second time I've lost my love . . . Why does this always happen to me? I know I did some unacceptable things in my past but do I have to go through that again?`
"Wufei. What's wrong?"She brushed her tears away and, and gazed up into his face.
"No Sally. I don't want to lose you. I don't . . . " His voice was low. Wufei closed his eyes as he tilted his head back against the tree wall. He was finding it hard to get the right words together. He didn't want to say good bye.
"Wufei I'm not dead yet. I still have some time left . . . Stop it. You're making me feel even more guilty for telling you. Please Wufei."As she finished this her tears and pain came back in a rush. Clinging to his chest she started to sob again. She had hurt him, the last thing she wanted to do. This was all her faut, and there was nothing she could do to fix it.
Wufei heard her pleads, and looked at her. Her face was red from crying, and trying to hold it back. He had to be strong for her. She needed his strength. Pushing his sadness aside he wrapped her in his arms again and started to rub her back to calm her, and his feelings.
"I'm sorry. It's all right." Wufei nuzzled the top of her head in comfort. `This would explain why she had been so down lately. She must have found out a few weeks ago. Now that I think about it that's when I noticed she was behaving a bit differently. She stopped arguing with me and let me win, even when I knew she was right. And then this tired look she's been getting, like not enough sleep or like something was slowly draining her strength. When we had that dinner banquet a week ago, she didn't eat anything where she normally ate all she could, and took some home. But she never even got a plate. Why am I so stupid!? Why didn't I notice this before? Why haven't I been helping her like I should have been this whole time. . .`
"Please stop crying Sally." He wiped the tears from her face again. "How did this happen? Did they do something to you on our last mission? Sally what did they do to you, please you have to tell me if you want me to help you."
"Wufei they did nothing to me but beat me. They never touched me like that, if that is what your thinking. I was sick before we went on that mission. There is nothing that can be done about it. I'm going to die soon and . . . "
"How soon?"An urgency in his voice.
"My doctor said I had about a year and a half or so left . . . I got everything taken care of so no one has to worry about anything when the time comes. I've been looking around for a new partner for you, and I . . . "
"I don't want a new partner."
Sally bit back the tears again.` Oh why does he have to be like this? He's killing me, it hurts so much. How come he can't be that arrogant, annoying person he usually is? Why is he acting so soft, and caring toward me? Because I'm dying? That's it, he's taking pity on me, because I'm a weak woman, and am incapable to get through this on my own. `
"Sorry."
"Don't say that! It's not you, don't say it again."She did not want special treatment from him. It would only draw her mind back to the reason for it. What she wanted him to do was act as if nothing had happened. As if she had never told him.
Wufei shut his mouth before he said it again. He was so sorry for not seeing it before, and waiting till the last minute again to realize what she meant to him. "How?"
"What?" Sally asked with a sniffle.
"How are you going to . . . What is causing this?"Wufei held her close to him. It felt good to have her this close. They had long sense forgot about the fact that they were both nude except for the sleeping bags around them, but neither cared.
"Nothing that can be stopped. It is one of the new forms of blood cancer . . . It is just running its corse with me, there's nothing that can be done."
Rain continued to pelt down outside their small home, while the thunder and lighting had stopped. The wind that blew in the cracks around the bag stung his tan skin with icy teeth. Like frozen ants, the cold air marched up his spine and dug its fangs into his the soft parts of his neck. The air seemed to be getting colder all of a sudden. He pulled the sleeping bag up over his head covering his neck.
"Sally, have you always known about this? I mean a long time, or just recently?"After he said it, it seamed like a pointless question. Why would it matter? She's going to die one way or the other.
"I found out about four years ago, I think. A bit after we first met. The new drugs I've been taking are helping me a little. . . Four years. It seems like such a long time ago doesn't it? I'm surprised we haven't killed each other." She smiled weakly, her strength drained from her by the crying. The void in her soul steadily opening into darkness, and despair. Dragging her down with long black arms never to be seen again. That's how she felt. Falling with no hope. No one to catch her, not even Wufei.
He held her tighter, as he remembered all they had gone through together. Dangerous missions, endless hours of paperwork long into the night, and the daily arguments which he had become accustomed too. They were soon going to be gone forever, and not a thing he could do. His job, well, her in particular had occupied the majority of the past four years. They shared an office together. Had to read over and fill out the same forms for hours, upon hours at a time. Went on most of their missions together. Shared the same hotel room on most of their missions. And those were the regular payed work hours. That didn't include the dinner banquets, the after work hours in the office. The trips to the coffee shop on the corner. The parties, dances, and many other things that they had done.
His mind then wandered to all the things he hadn't done with her, and every chance he had to do them. The countless dances, and gatherings they had been forced to go to by Lady Une. Every time he had passed her sitting by herself at one of the tables watching those dancing before her. She had looked somewhat sad, and lost. `Why didn't I do something? I could have danced with her, at least once! It was pride, I was too proud to see what was happening to her, so I walked by. I am such an ass. Why, why, why. What was wrong with me?` He cursed himself repeatedly. If he had only taken a moment to see what was going on around him he could have been of some help to her. Instead he had been nothing but a selfish prick.
Sally relaxed in his arm. She was amazed at how much he had grown sense they had first met. He was no longer the lost little boy she had saved, but a man. He could take care of himself, he didn't need her around anymore. Her personal task of making sure he lived long enough to become a man was over. Now she could rest and not have to worry about him.
Her only wish was that he felt the same as her. All the time they had spent together, she couldn't help but fall in love with him. No matter how arrogant, how stubborn, how selfish he was, there was something about him that she couldn't resist. The way he presented himself for being equal to or above others around him. The way he never seemed to be afraid of anything at all. The way she wished she could have been as a child, or the way she wanted to be now.
She did not want to be afraid of this death before her. This time when she faced death there was no turning, no running. She was going to face this and not be afraid. However, there was one thing on her mind at that time. She wanted to tell Wufei how she felt about him, and that scared her worse then death. She wanted to tell him that despite everything he had done, or said to her she was fully, unquestionably, head over heals in love with him. But it didn't matter. Time was up. If she were to tell him now, this would only put more on his shoulders.
"Sally I wish you had told me sooner . . . I. There are so many things.." Every word was a struggle.
"Wufei, you know what." Sally couldn't put up with this anymore.` Please stop right now Wufei, just act normal. Forget I told you and be stubborn and arrogant again. This gentleness from you, I don't know how to take it.`
"What?"he asked softly.
She smiled softly. "Your acting completely out of character you know this right?"
"I'm finding it hard to.. Talk about this.."
"So am I ." Silence fell between them again. The storm had eased up sense they had started talking, and a few bits of light began to poke through the holes in the plastic bag door, with it the after sent of the rain drifted in.
Wufei's vision moved to the floor where the communicator lay blinking. They had not yet turned it on. Picking it up he examined it himself. Quite simple, and looked like it might just work, but he did not know how to activate it. Some of the buttons were from the communicator, and one button from his razor. He frowned and rubbed his chin, he would be alright till they got back to Head Quarters, a nice hot shower was what he wanted. 'Then an hour or two by myself to do some mediating, ah yes. That would be just right. But what about Sally? I will have to stay close to her from now on. She is too weak to be left alone.` Grinning he thought of what she would have said if she had heard him. Well he wasn't going to spend another day in this tree, he wanted to go home.
"Sally, how do you.." Wufei stopped when he looked down at her. She had fallen asleep in his arms again. This was becoming a habit with her. He want to wake her up but he thought better of it. `She needs all the sleep she can get right now, I'll just wait till she wakes to activate it, it shouldn't be too long I hope.`
TBC. . .