Kanashikute kanashikute  kokoro chigiresou na yoru

Sore demo nao shinjite miru

Hosoi kibou tsunaide

Sadly, Sadly my heart will break during the night

But still i'll believe in what i'm looking for

With my fragile hopes

~ Sorairo ~

Chapter 5: My sacrifice.

"Aiyaaaaaa! Minna-sama! Sleeping beauty woke up!" A bouncing Misao was waking each one of the Aoiya members, including the Kenshin-gumi.  Everybody ran towards Kaoru's room, and started to laugh, smile and hug each other in contentment.

Jiya started to pour some sake in the early morning, as Sanosuke hugged Yahiko's and Megumi's head in bewilderment. The scene was showing a lot of happiness, even the now totally recovered Kaoru was smiling too.

Everyone seemed to be happy, except the little redhead, Kenshin. He was smiling, but yet his violet orbs deceived him, he was all confused, how could it be possible for a ghost to get poisoned?

If Tomoe-san has lost her path to heaven, and make a stop in the Aoiya, then why she was on a risk? A ghost do not feel any pain, or anything that might hurt.

Kenshin observed 'Tomoe' from head to toe, scrutinizing each one of her features. Yes, it was Tomoe, there was no doubt of it. Her snowy skin, her raven dark hair, her soft blood lips, and her deep dark eyes all those facial appearances were of her, her essence.

Then the past events came to his mind, the girl that supposed to be Tomoe, asked him to go, but then as he saw her eyes again, he saw that she wasn't looking him as angrily as the other time. Still grief and distress lighted up her fond pools.

"Are you hungry Kaoru-san?" Megumi asked quite polite, Sanosuke snorted and glared at the vixen beside him.

"Since when are you so gentle, kitsune?" as a reply, he was elbowed by the doctor.

"Iie, maybe I should stand up, I think too much being in bed made my muscles frail." She said trying to stand up, a thin man was placed in her shoulder.

"Iie, Tomoe-san, you should rest, yesterday we gave you the antidote and…" he trailed off sensing the ki's change from all the gumi. He snapped and looked at all the glares and daggers sent to him. Kenshin at last, looked at 'Tomoe', for a second he thought to see her in wild shock, but the expression was changed for a sad smile.

"Iie, don't worry Himura-san, I'll be allright." She said softly, kenshin smiled warmly at her, finally, Tomoe's voice and temper were back to normal. Now all the glares changed to stares and their new direction was Kaoru.

"Yahiko, why don't we spar a little in the backyard? You've been getting lazy since my absence." She said with a big warm grin. Yahiko was so shocked at this that he didn't even call her 'busu'.

When did Kaoru change so quickly of mood? Maybe she was hiding her feelings and she just wanted to move on, no one knew about it, but those questions were in everybody's head.

Yahiko silently followed the all recovered Kaoru, and both of them were sparring in the Aoiya's background, her movement's were still slow, but after some brief hours she had the same agility.

Still, minna was so shocked that they stood looking at her for hours. Until Okina made some orders to the Oniwabanshu, and a whole normal day was occurring in the Aoiya. But still, there was someone missing. Aoshi.

Nobody knew or saw him in the entire day, not until the midafternoon meal. The oniwabanshu and the Kenshin gumi were sitting together celebrating Kaoru's recovery. Even Kenshin started to forget about all the confusion on his head and enjoyed himself through the meal.

"Tomoe-san, could you hand me the fish, onegai?" He said almost happily without worrying about other matters. Still everyone stopped death on their duties; Sano and Yahiko froze, while the piece of fish they were fighting for plopped into the table. Megumi-san was still pouring tea on Misao's overflowed cup, while Okina choked with the sake he was drinking.

Kenshin didn't know what was going on; he looked at the startled faces of his friends and then started to frown puzzled. He looked straight forward and saw the same sad smile Tomoe had in the morning.

Gently but slowly, she nodded her head and hand out the plate of half fish to the redhead. Then her gaze lowered, not wanting to cry at the moment.

"Why didn't you tell him, your name is Kaoru?!" Misao blurted out quite frustrated. Kaoru's sweet smiled was now fixed in a hard blank stare.

"Because he will still see Tomoe. If this is the way to make Kenshin look at me in such a loving way, I don't care. I'll…I'll be everything he wants me to be…" She murmured, but still the room was so quiet that most of the table heard her.

"NANI!? Are you nuts?! That's so, so…" Misao couldn't find the perfect word to her friend's actions.

"Stupid." Sanosuke completed her phrase, his jaw tightened, and his eyes were just on fire.

"But the first and last time, I have to agree with that Kaoru-baka, just because you yearn for him too much, doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your identity." Megumi pointed out with some anger in her voice. Misao only nodded vehemently.

"I'll be always Kaoru, but just for him, I'll be Tomoe-san, if he needs his wife in his blurry mind, at least I shall give it that wish to him. It doesn't mean that I'll behave like her, I will just follow his madness." Her blank stare started to get moist a little.

"That's utterly stupid." Sanosuke snarled. Then Kaoru shot a death glare to the gangster.

"Then you've never fallen in love." She stated shortly, astonishing everyone in the table. But Kenshin, Kenshin was now in 'Lala land' thinking about the past events, not even suspecting about the heated conversation on the other side of the table.

"Oi, Kenshin, are you listening to what they're saying?" Yahiko asked poking the rurouni's shoulder.

"Oro?" he blurted looking at the kid beside him, Yahiko heaved a sighed, someone recovered and then someone fell mentally sick.

"Nee, Megumi-san! When are you going to check his head?" Yahiko interrupted the almost war between, Okina, Misao, Kaoru and Megumi. Megumi, who froze in midair from attacking Sanosuke with the bowl, sighed and let it drop on the table.

"The last time I checked him, there was no signs of contusions or bruises on his head." Megumi gave a quick glance to a very baffled Himura.

"Well, I guess we should shave his head, with so much hair maybe you haven't seen  it clearly." Sanosuke suggested, Kenshin paled right away, grabbing his head tightly.

"Shessa daijabou!" he squirmed at trimming his precious messy red mane.  Megumi sighed at the 'intelligent' baka-tori's statement.

"I think is more emotional than physical damage." Megumi stated observing Kenshin carefully.

"Whadda ya mean with emotional damage?" Sanosuke asked, scratching the top of his head. Megumi stroke her chin thoughtfully, again staring at the nervous former Battousai.

"In more simple words for baka-toris; he's crazy." Sanosuke facevaulted instantly. While Kaoru and Misao exchanged mystified looks.

"We all knew from the beginning there was something wrong on Himura's head. But, now he's gone far, too far." Misao pondered out loud. Megumi cocked slightly her head.

"Maybe he had blocked his past so many years that know those feelings arise and confuse his poor fragile mind, assembling Kaoru on the image of his past. In other terms, Tomoe." Megumi said more to herself than to the more confused gumi.

"And after you've said all that psychological speech. How are we going to 'cure' him?" Sano inquired gaining some composure from the last assault.

"I think Megumi-san's theory isn't all right. Maybe Kenshin is assembling Tomoe's figure in Kaoru's figure because they are the women Kenshin have loved." Misao interrupted gathering her hands in her chest with a very mushy face.

"But if Kenshin loves Kaoru, then why is he seeing his dead wife?" Sano asked again, Misao's mushy world destroyed in a few seconds, then she went all gloomy.

"Shiranai, demo, maybe Kenshin wants more Tomoe than Kao…" Before saying more, Misao cut herself off, covering her mouth with both hands.

That hurt…a lot…

But then, if it was true?

She had made a decision, If he wanted to see her so much, then she'll let him use her, aside from her pain and sorrow.

But outside Kaoru, she didn't demonstrate a slight gush of anger, sadness or other. She was just staring blankly at Kenshin, without looking at his eyes, just to his hair.

Kenshin couldn't see 'Tomoe' and he didn't know why, so many moments together and he couldn't even look at her? There was something rare about this 'Tomoe' maybe Tomoe possessed the body of this girl 'Kaoru-san' and only Kenshin could see it was her. A genuine smile struck Himura's senses.

"Now I get it! Tomoe-san possessed Kaoru-dono's body and I'm the only one who can see her." He said it so elatedly that anyone from the table wanted to contradict him. But yet again, the weasel girl stood up fiercely.

"Then why don't you remember Kaoru-chan?!" Kaoru grasped Misao's wrist so tightly that Misao wasn't able to go ahead with her further hypothesis.

"Maybe the possession deleted all my memories. Gomen nasai Kaoru-dono, for calling you an object of my wife's games." He bowed courteously.

"Don't worry Himura-san, Kaoru-dono will be just fine. K-koishi…" Kaoru whispered so demurely that Kenshin snap up his head looking at her.

It's her! That's the way she talks! That's her essence!

He thought eagerly, another pleased smile formed on his lips. Kaoru just lowered her eyes, she was tricking him, and he seemed so innocent when she replied him like that. Maybe if she continued this fake relationship she could see a genuine smile, he had never let Kaoru to see it.

"I'm not gonna let you do this Kaoru-chan! You're going too far!" Misao said so heatedly that Kaoru crept back from her. And with those words, Misao went to backyard, to meditate, to think the stupidity her friend was doing.

-*-

"Kaoru no baka, she doesn't care, her own happiness after his…" Misao kicked a little pebble from the koi, and without ever seeing her uncounsious soul headed her to the temple. Without realizing it, she looked up to find the temple where her beloved meditated, her eyes widened, as flashbacks from the last night shuddered in her mind.

Gaining all the confidence she needed, she stepped into the temple, and there he was, till that night he has been all day there. But he wasn't meditating, his ki wasn't as calm as it always was, he was tense, she could know by the curves of his back, his neck, the skin was so tense that it seem like it could break any minute.

"A-a-aoshi-sama?" Misao quivered at the thick atmosphere in there, her head peered from one of the principal columns, no reply or action came from him. She approached to him, with smooth and light steps, she didn't know why she was doing this, he was a traitor, ne? Then why on earth her hand was reaching out to place it on his back?

"Don't dare to touch me." He roughly said, as commanded, Misao's hand drew back. Harm on those emerald green eyes decorated her features. A wicked smile crossed her lips as her hand fell limp by her side.

"Nanda?" she inquired shortly, pleading, begging for an answer. Aoshi looked over his shoulder; the iciest and harsh stare was given to her.

"If you think that I'm a traitor, you may believe I am…" his rasp cold voice thickened the atmosphere even more.

"I don't think that…but then…" Misao would believe her Aoshi-sama if he said the world was square. Yet again, all the proofs and the dialogues between Hidaka and him were making him the traitor he denied.

"I'm no one to convince you to know what is right Misao, for the moment, I don't want to see you or the others for the time being." Now he stood up, leaving a much crushed Misao kneeling and looking to his left spot.

"Demo! Where are you going then?!" She abruptly stood up, lifting herself attaching her fist in his old oniwabanshu uniform. Aoshi didn't seem a touched by this.

"Far away from home, this is not of your concern." Aoshi gently placed his hands on hers, and smoothly eased her grasp.

"It concerns me, because we are Oniwabanshu! It's our honor, our loyalty to our family!" Aoshi still had his hands on her, as he slowly bashed them away.

"Remember one thing Misao, Ninjas aren't samurais, ninjas haven a code to honor and loyalty." After saying that, Aoshi left a baffled Misao, his retreating form faded away in the shadows.

I would believe you even you say the sky is green…

She smiled to herself, finally understanding Kaoru's decisions, her sacrifice.

End of Chapter 5

I've made this chapter quicker than I thought; good music makes a good buddy in your writings you know? I'm so excited so many people had reviewed my work! I feel so pleased T_T! And I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAY! ME BAD! It's just that sometimes inspiration vanished as dust in the wind. I know I made it too mushy this chapter, but hey! The rating says romance, ne? thanks for STILL reading my never-ending story! Jaa na! Arigato gozaimasu! Suu-chan.