Title: Drowning Slowly

Chapter 5: Call

Author: Kora

E-mail: KrazyKora@aol.com or WinterViolet24@aol.com

Rating: R

Disclaimer: The following characters belong to WWE and all the people and companies who deal with all that legal stuff. I am simply using the characters for my own twisted enjoyment. The lyrics are by Ben Folds Five and belong to them.

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She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

-Ben Folds Five, 'Brick'

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It had been three whole weeks since the 'incident'. Stephanie had discovered her moods going through a constant cycle-numbness, confusion, upset, fear, shock, disbelief, and anger. The last one was most common when she was around Shane. He was dead set on her reporting the incident and telling her father. She knew he meant well but she found his persistence to be infuriating. She had thought he would be more understanding.

"I love you, Stephanie, don't you understand that," he would say, "I'm sorry this happened to you and I thank God you survived but we need to take the next step. If you tell Dad he'll spend a fortune on the investigation. We'll find this guy and make him pay. Wouldn't that make you feel better?"

A part of her knew he was right, making this guy pay would make her feel better. The old Stephanie, Stephanie McMahon Helmsley-Hunter's Stephanie, would be bloodthirsty for revenge. She would love to screw over anyone who'd messed with her.

But that wasn't who she was anymore. She was someone new. How could she not be after what had happened? And this new her was scared to death. It made her sick to her stomach but it was true. She was terrified that they would catch the guy and she would have to see him again. She just wanted him to disappear, wanted the whole thing to disappear.

Whenever it began to rain she found herself taken by severe anxiety attacks. Her appetite had decrease and when she wasn't plagued by nightmares she had difficulty getting to sleep. If she did sleep she found herself tossing and turning or waking up and being unable to fall back to sleep. It was like living in some kind of prison.

People remarked on it at work. They'd come up to her and ask why she was so gloomy and depressed and she'd have to make up some lie. Her newfound attention to detail had not been lost either. Sometimes she would spend hours staring at a pencil on a desk or piece of tape stuck to a wall. She'd map out every single thing about it. It made her fall in love with water. Anytime they were near an area with a lake or a river she would take a pair of headphones and walk out to it, as close to the water as she could and sit down, listening to music as she watched the water ripple and wave. It helped to look at these things and let her mind float away.

She found thinking a hopeless task. One day at Smackdown she had twenty people at her door. They kept asking her questions-should we renew this contract? Do you want this wall repainted? What were the ratings last quarter? What are our current earnings? Normally in this kind of situation she loved barking out answers and orders. It was as easy as filing her nails. But recently it was almost impossible.

She had such difficulty making decisions that before had been so simple. So much so that she had chased off the workers that day and went into her office. She locked her door behind her, crumpled to the floor and cried for so long that she became frightened. Afraid it wouldn't stop. Eventually it did, but the exertion made her so tired that she fell asleep. A whole day of work lost. Her father was furious at first but she quickly blew it off, saying it was PMS. He was never one to deal with that 'girly' stuff and promptly let her off the hook.

Now she stood in her old bedroom. Shane had brought her back to the family estate as opposed to her apartment, saying she needed to be around her family during this time even if she didn't want to tell her parents what had happened yet. She had worried at first that the situation would look suspicious but her parents actually took to the idea, scolding that she had not visited in ages. Their reaction had puzzled her. It felt sort of funny, as if her family was actually normal. Still, she was thankful for their bizarre mood swing as she found hiding out in her old room was much easier than it would have been at her apartment. It also made it so that Shane was close by whenever she needed him.

She had earned a few days off and she was thrilled. She needed some room to breathe. She found that she was still absent of the ability to smile. Shane commented on it, worry creasing his handsome face. She did indeed love her brother; it wasn't his fault he couldn't understand what was happening to her. That he didn't know what to do. She didn't know either. All she wished for was for everything to go back to as it was before.

She found herself looking over at her bed. Resting on top of the blankets was Shawn's jacket. She had found herself carrying the garment with her everywhere as if it were some sort of lucky charm. Whenever she wore it she felt warm, protected. She wondered what he was doing. Truthfully Shawn hadn't known how to help her any more than Shane had and yet she found him much more fulfilling in the job. Shawn may have thought he was doing everything wrong but to her it seemed as if his every action had been right.

Sometimes she wondered what would have happened if he hadn't found her or if someone else had found her and she discovered herself grateful that it had been him. Somehow in her mind, she couldn't imagine anyone else having handled the situation as well as he had.

Her eyes cast over to her dresser. In the bottom drawer she had hid the brown paper bag. She couldn't bear to open it up and look inside at the tattered clothes, the evidence of her own sexual assault. Just the thought made her shake. She felt as if she would never come to grip with what happened. She knew that couldn't be healthy but what was she supposed to do? Sit in one of those groups with all those other women and cry her heart out and admit what happened? She didn't want to do that! She just wanted to forget it ever happened!

Forgetting it happened, moving on-it had become her mantra.

She sighed and sat on her bed. She felt so lost-so alone. Earlier she had thought of her life like a prison and that was indeed the best description. She felt like she was trapped and in the dark with no way out. She wondered...

Her eyes cast to her cell phone. She had thousands of numbers programmed in to it, including every single Superstar's. She imagined Shawn's number was in there somewhere. And he had said she could call him if she felt the need. But was it right of her to bother him? Maybe the offer had been superficial, a way to save face. But even as she thought this she knew it was true. Shawn's offer had been genuine otherwise he wouldn't have made it. Still, could she risk it?

Her throat felt thick as she picked up her phone and scanned through the saved numbers. Towards the very end was Shawn's. She swallowed and swiftly pushed the button to dial the number. She didn't have to say anything in particular. She could be short. Just see how he was doing-

"Hello?"

She let out a tight breath at the sound of his voice. It was husky, tired-maybe she had woken him up. Oh god, she should just hang up and forget she had ever even tried.

"Hello?" his voice asked again.

"Shawn?" she squeaked out against her own violation.

There was a tense silence then the voice became clearer, as if Shawn woke up fully at the sound of her voice, "Stephanie? Is that you, babe?"

She felt one corner of her mouth tug at the title. She imagined at some other time in her life she'd be miffed at the term but instead she found herself remedied by it. It was so good to hear his voice. She answered timidly, "Yeah. It's-it's me."

"What's up?"

"Not-not much. I just...I called to see how you were." God, she hated how wobbly her voice sounded. He probably thought she was going to burst into tears any second or something. She sat on her bed for strength, her knees weak.

"I'm all right. Working out, getting back in shape-I'm hoping to get into the ring with your ex-husband soon, with your permission of course." He teased and she imagined his smile over the other end of the phone.

"That sounds good."

"And how have you been, sweetheart? Holding up? Givin' 'em hell?"

She could have sworn she felt a bubble of laughter rise up inside her but nothing came out as she answered mutely, "Oh yeah, you know me."

There was another thick silence. Stephanie felt so stupid. Her eyes began to water, her face heating up. She tired to ignore it, shoving a strand of hair behind her ear as she tried to think of something else to say. All she ended up coming up with was, "So what did you have for lunch today?' which she cringed at. God, she was so stupid! Still, Shawn didn't seem to mind, answering simply in his sweet Texas-accent that he'd had a bowl of Cocca Puffs.

"Yeah, I love Cocca Puffs. You know, when ya let 'em sit in the milk and they soak up and become this nice chocolate goop. It's the greatest. Not very healthy but, what can I say? I'm coo coo for Cocca Puffs."

Stephanie didn't answer and he sighed, "And you? What did you have, pretty lady? Something much better, right? Probably sushi or..."

He heard her sniffle over the other end, "Stephanie..."

"Oh...I promised myself I wouldn't...I didn't think," she whispered and pulled the phone away from her, trying to collect her composure. She could hear Shawn's voice faintly on the other end, "Stephanie, it's okay. Just tell me. I'm here."

She eventually got herself under control enough to speak, her voice cracking like a broken record, "You said I could call when I needed to and...Shawn, I need you. I need to see you, I understand if..."

"When do you need me there." He asked without hesitation.

"As-as soon as you're available." She replied softly, hating how weak she had become.

"Where are you?"

"I'm still at the family estate. I have the week off..."

"I'll get the next flight out."

A tear escaped her eye, "Oh Shawn..."

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. Don't be upset. If you need me, you need me. I'm glad to help you, all right? I want to, that's why I told you to call me if you needed me. Remember? On call twenty-four-seven? I'll be there for you. All you have to do is ask."

"I feel so stupid."

"Don't. Don't ever, okay? I'll be right there, all right? See you soon."

"Yeah, see ya." Stephanie whispered and hung up the phone. She fell back on her bed and drew a pillow close. She felt a wave wash over, some of the weight off her body being lifted away. He was coming. She was going to see him again.

Part of her felt pathetic because it seemed the only way she could feel better was when he was around and this would not do. She should be able to fix this herself, shouldn't she? She shouldn't have to depend on this man or any man to help her. But another part of her felt nothing but grateful. Grateful that someone out there cared enough to be there for her when she needed it. And whether or not she liked it, she needed it.

She held the pillow tight, a strange thrill running through her. She couldn't wait until he arrived. This was the last thought she had before she fell asleep.